The United Paper Bags of TPWW (The UPB of TPWW): **UPDATED cabinet positions on page 1 only**

[The Naitch]

The United Paper Bags of TPWW (UPB of TPWW)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f3/President_Barack_Obama_with_full_cabinet_09-10-09.jpg/300px-President_Barack_Obama_with_full_cabinet_09-10-09.jpg

President: Nervous Ferret (First Black Prez)

Vice President: The Naitch
__________________________

Secretary of State: The Jayman

Head of Secret Service: Volare

Secretary of Space Exploration & Cross-dimensional relations: Ultra Mantis

Secretary of Treasury: XCaliber

Secretary of Defense: Shadrick

Attorney General: SlickyTrickyDamon

Secretary of the Interior: Flash Funk

Secretary of Agriculture: Vastardikai

Secretary of Commerce: mhirn3

Secretary of Labor: djoutcry

Secretary of Health and Human Services:

Secretary of Education:

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development:

Secretary of Transportation:

Secretary of Paper Bags: Smelly Meatball

Secretary of Energy: BizarroKing

Secretary of Veterans Affairs:

Secretary of Homeland Security: Shaved Monkey

Chief of Staff: Ermaximus

Secretary of State for Culture, Olympics, Media and Sport: Mike The Metal Ed

Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency:

Director of the Office of Management and Budget:

Ambassador to the United Nations: <s>DAMN iNATOR</s> VSG by direct orders from El Presidente

United States Trade Representative:

[The Naitch]

ONE OVER FLAIRS' FACE IN MY SIGNATURE WOULD BE COOL TOO. AND THE ANGEL IN MY SIG WOULD LIKE ONE TOO

HOOK ME UP

[BizarroKing]

Same here.

[SaskatchewanChamp]

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Fucking sheep

[CSL]

awww SaskatchewanChamp thinks he's being original. Who's a little cutie pie?

[Ermaximus]

Naitch, ask Mr Lock Jaw.

[Lock Jaw]

NO ONE MAKES DEMANDS OF LOCK JAW. I'll do your requests... But only because I can't stand to look at you! :mad:

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/bizking.png

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/Naitch.png

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/lotterybag.png

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/Angelmask-2.png

[BizarroKing]

I'm Grotesque

[What Would Kevin Do?]

I want a paper bag avatar... :(

[The Jayman]

me too

[Lock Jaw]

:mad:

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/wwkd.png

Or with Bonus bag in negative space since you can't really see it when it is so small anyways

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/wwkd2.png

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/jayman.png

Or mummified bag

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/Jayman2.png

[Shadrick]

*is too ashamed to speak in this thread*

[Chavo Classic]

Hi :wave:

[The Naitch]

Damn it feels good to be a sheep

this shit is catching ON LIKE WILDFIRE

HOLLA AT MY FELLOW PAPER BAG DISCIPLES

[Shisen Kopf]

My avatar is too damn hot to cover up with a paper bag!

[Dorkchop]

I want one too. I could easily spend 3 minutes adding more pixels, but I don't want to put a minimal amount of effort into something

[Anybody Thrilla]

I feel like I should move this thread, but I'm in big support of this revolution. I'll leave it right here. :y:

[The Naitch]

holy shit there's a bag on everyone of the little Ric Flairs at the bottom, didn't notice that til' now. Lockjaw, you have outdone yourself, that's SOME REAL DEDICATION RIGHT THERE

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/lotterybag.png

[mhirn3]

I prefer plastic bags myself.....fuck the environment.

[VSG]

I am so proud of what this has grown to :'(

[The Naitch]

who was the first person to rock the bag? I have no shame in being a sheep to this movement. I KNOW MY ROLE

[The Naitch]

<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/zsCD5XCu6CM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[VSG]

Follow me, sheep!

I also demand the losers have a paper bag over their avatars. At great expense to himself, Lock Jaw will provide you with the same.

DO not dare to speak for me. :mad:

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/vsg.png

lol it's like a little animal. I am proud to wear it.

[Lock Jaw]

Xero actually got the first bag. VSG the second.

[VSG]

Then I am a proud sheep.

[Sixx]

Don't youdare putting a paper bag on Katy.

[Lock Jaw]

Hi :wave:

:foc:

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/CC.png

My avatar is too damn hot to cover up with a paper bag!

YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH. You need a DOUBLE BAG.

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/SK.png

I want one too. I could easily spend 3 minutes adding more pixels, but I don't want to put a minimal amount of effort into something

Your pixels are UGLY. :mad:

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/bag.png

[Shaved Monkey]

I dig the bags too but I could never condone putting a bag over Jim Morrison's face.

[Lock Jaw]

Don't youdare putting a paper bag on Katy.

DARE ACCEPTED. :mad:

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/6.png

[Lock Jaw]

I dig the bags too but I could never condone putting a bag over Jim Morrison's face.

CONDONE THIS. :foc:

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/bagged.png

[The Naitch]

Lock Jaw is on FIYAH

creative GENIUS

[The Naitch]

funny how Lock Jaw's avatar has no bag. How would you fit that under the hood?

[djoutcry]

paper bag my avatar please

t'would be awesome if it remained a gif :O

i love you...:love:

[Dorkchop]

awesome

[Lock Jaw]

paper bag my avatar please

t'would be awesome if it remained a gif :O

i love you...:love:

You're lucky I was bored enough to actually do this! :mad:

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/oie_oie_animation.gif

[Volare]

Rasta bag.

[Ultra Mantis]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Lock Jaw again

[Verbose Minch]

I'm not posting to request a paper bag on Duke, even thought it would be funny, I think.

In any case, the paper bags are absolutely hilarious, keep it up Lock Jaw!

[djoutcry]

You're lucky I was bored enough to actually do this! :mad:

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/oie_oie_animation.gif

OMG!!! WOW!!! THANK YOU LOCK JAW!!! :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::love::heart::love::heart::love::heart::drool::heart::love :

[XL]

That is awesome.

[XCaliber]

Since I am a Cody Rhodes fan I would really like one of these.

[Beth Phoenix Fan]

That is awesome.

<iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6vxiQ9JCKvE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Flash Funk]

Huge LockJaw fan here, but I would like to think I had a little bit to do with the bag movement.

[The Naitch]

Official updated cabinet positions please refer to PAGE 1




I nominate myself Vice-President. I get to be in the limelight, but don't have to carry the responsibilities

we might have to get rid of some of these positions since we might not even know what some of them mean :shifty:

suggestions are welcome

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presidency_of_Barack_Obama

scroll down to the right and each positions' duties are described when clicked on the proper position

[VSG]

lol

[The Jayman]

Secretary of State right here

[The Naitch]

done, I am editing the list as we go along

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Attorney General!

Warning!!! Do not remove your bag because of a serious chance of getting a paper cut in the neck regions.

That is all.

[The Naitch]

http://ponderingsfrompluto.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/joe_biden.jpg

Roles of the Vice President (The Naitch)

The Paper Bag Constitution limits the formal powers and role of Vice President to becoming President should the President become unable to serve (due to the death, forum banning, resignation, or medical impairment of the President), and to acting as the presiding officer of the United Paper Bag Senate. The Vice President will become the President if the President can not do so

[The Naitch]

http://www.freedomsjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Secretary-of-State-Hilary-Clinton.jpg

Roles of The United Paper Bags Secretary of State (The Jayman)

The Jayman is the head of the United Paper Bags Department of State, concerned with foreign affairs. The Secretary is a member of the Paper Bag Cabinet and the highest-ranking cabinet secretary both in line of succession and order of precedence. The current Secretary of State is The Jayman, the 1st poster, to hold the post.

[The Naitch]

http://26.media.tumblr.com/eRzxOQo1Lmn3t98n2ncN8h9Yo1_500.jpg

[The Naitch]

http://www.toonpool.com/user/997/files/kings_attorney_general_264165.jpg

The United Paper Bags Attorney General (SlickyTrickyDamon) is the head of the United Paper Bags Department of Justice (see 28 U.S.C. § 503) concerned with legal affairs and is the chief law enforcement officer of the United Paper Bags government. The Attorney General is considered to be the chief lawyer of the U.P.B government. The Attorney General serves as a member of the President's Cabinet, and is the only cabinet department head who is not given the title Secretary, besides the now independent Paperbagmaster General.

The Attorney General is nominated by the President of the United Paper Bag and takes office after confirmation by the United Paper Bag Senate. He or she serves at the pleasure of the President and can be removed by the President at any time; the Attorney General is also subject to impeachment by the House of Representatives and trial in the Senate for "treason, bribery, and other high crimes and misdemeanors."

The office of Attorney General was established by Congress by the Brown Act of 2011. The original duties of this officer were "to prosecute and conduct all suits in the Supreme Court in which the United Paper Bags shall be concerned, and to give his advice and opinion upon questions of law when required by the President of the United Paper Bags, or when requested by the heads of any of the departments."[1] Only in 2011 was the Department of Justice established to support the Attorney General in the discharge of his responsibilities. No lazyness tolerated

[The Jayman]

My Other Duties:

Advises the President on matters relating to foreign policy, including the appointment of diplomatic representatives to other nations, and on the acceptance or dismissal of representatives from other nations.

Participates in high-level negotiations with other countries, either bilaterally or as part of an international conference or organization, or appoints representatives to do so. This includes the negotiation of international treaties and other agreements.

[The Jayman]

It is also my duty to please that booty

[Shadrick]

Secretary of Defense, baby.

[The Naitch]

http://thesportshernia.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/rumsfeld_finger.jpghttp://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQIJknHDsnyqWwWAMiVZvycprVuQTxFqc1J6B0QaKZSqTpYNcSlrw&t=1

The Secretary of Defense (SecDef Shadrick) is the head and chief executive officer of the Department of Defense of the United Paper Bags of TPWW. This position corresponds to what is generically known as a Deleted Posts Defence Minister. Under the direction of the President, the Secretary of Defense has authority, direction and control over the Department of (Deleted Post) Defense, and is designated by statute as the principal assistant to the President in all matters relating to the Department of Defense.[1] The Secretary of Defense is in the chain of command for all Department of Defense forces; i.e. Mod Abuse Corps; for both operational and administrative purposes. Only the Secretary of Defense (and the President) can authorize the transfer of forces from one Combatant Command to another.[2][3][4][5] The Chairman of the Joint Smoking Indian Chiefs of Staff is the principal military adviser to the Secretary of Defense, and to the President.

The Secretary of Defense is appointed by the President with the advice and consent of the Senate, and is a member of the Cabinet and the National Security Council. Per federal law (10 U.S.C. § 113), a person may not be appointed as Secretary of Defense within seven years after relief from active duty as a commissioned officer of a regular component of an armed force.[6] Secretary of Defense is a Level I position of the Executive Schedule and thus earns a salary of $1 per year.

[VSG]

What? A dollar per year? No wonder they are so corrupt over in the pentagon.

[The Naitch]

it's all Lock Jaw's fault

[Ermaximus]

I'll take a spot.

[The Naitch]

there are many spots available pick your poison

[The Naitch]

except for President, I'm leaving that to Cock Jaw or whoever founded this whole mess in the first place

OUT OF RESPECT

[Ermaximus]

Chief of Staff sounds easy enough.

[The Naitch]

http://s4.reutersmedia.net/resources/r/?m=02&d=20110106&t=2&i=297758588&w=460&fh=&fw=&ll=&pl=&r=2011-01-06T201519Z_01_BTRE7051K9P00_RTROPTP_0_OBAMA-STAFF-DALEY

The roles of the Chief of Staff Ermaximus are both managerial and advisory and can include the following

-Select key Brown House staff and supervise them. Keeps a close eye on Xero's masturbation logs to make sure any ZeeBoe activity doesn't go down

-Structure the Brown House staff system. Makes sandwiches.

-Control the flow of people into the Brown Office. Makes coffee.

-Manages the flow of information and other things that fit in brown paper bags (ie. fruit, granola bars, rice krispy squares, sandwiches, pudding, jello, juices, pepperoni sticks, and cigarettes)

-Protect the interests of the President and Vice president (ie. brings them tea and biscuits, hookers and blow etc.)

-Negotiate with Congress, other members of the executive branch, and extragovernmental political groups to implement the President's agenda and the Vice President's HIDDEN agenda

[Ermaximus]

Oh hell no. I'm not making you people coffee. That's an entry level job. Change me to secretary of education instead. I'd rather be in charge of building a better repor of the forums youth.

[The Naitch]

no coffee....just wanted to see if you had balls to speak up against it. IT WAS A TEST. I like YOUR FIRE. We need someone who isn't afraid to voice HIS CONCERNS.

We'll let Xero do all the bitchwork, but he better not take 3 hours doing it though

[The Naitch]

unless you still wanna be Secretary of Education

[Ermaximus]

Xero can't do bitch work, he's above that. Leave the bitch work for someone like SaskatchewanChamp or something.

[Shaved Monkey]

Ooh. Secretary of Homeland Security.

[The Naitch]

The United Paper Bag Secretary of Homeland Security (Shaved Monkey) is the head of the United Paper Bag Department of Homeland Security, the body concerned with protecting the TPWW homeland and the safety of the Paper Bag BRETHREN. The Secretary is a member of the President's Cabinet. The position was created by the Homeland Security Act following various SERVER OVERLOADS and any possible v.W.o terrorist attacks. The new department consisted primarily of components transferred from other cabinet departments because of their role in homeland security, such as the Brown Guard, Protective Brown Service, United Paper Bag Customs and Forum Border Protection (which includes the Forum Border Patrol), Secret Service, and the Forum Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), and keeping a close eye on the Vietnemese Crippler and his stranglehold on the tech forum . It did not, however, include Jabba's vise-like grip on the c-fed forum.[1]

On January 20, 2009, the Senate confirmed The Naitch's appointment of Shaved Monkey to be the 1st Secretary of Homeland Security.[2] To assure a smooth transition however, Lara Emily aka Larry Emilio was asked to use the mens' washroom if ever she/he steps foot in the Brown House for we do not recognize her/his sex change as legitimate.

[Flash Funk]

I shall take Secretary of the Interior

[SaskatchewanChamp]

I sometimes wondered why the IWC got the heat it does, and now looking at how you guys mark out for a stupid Phantom of The Opera gimmick. Not to mention this clown will NEVER be above Mid-card. I now know why people like Bishoff, and most of the wrestlers in the business today think you all are fucking useless fat virgin cunts.

[The Naitch]

An exert from our very first newsletter. A preview...

Remembering our forefathers...

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/brownpapernats2.jpg

http://deathby1000papercuts.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/unknown-comic.jpg

The Revolution has gone INTERNATIONAL...

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2010/02/05/sports/05bagA/05bagA-articleLarge.jpg

It trancends genders and SPECIES....

http://www.innocentenglish.com/funny-pics/funny-pics/cat-hiding-in-paper-bag.jpg

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRorQnNyYevo8QxEWxRdZAfzmLIuM-_qom8uFzQPy312o9N2036&t=1

Our movement permeates through high fashion...

http://stylefrizz.com/img/chanel-quilted-paper-bag-large.jpg

...BALLIN!

This one is a special collector's edition, designed AND INSPIRED by Innovator

http://www.mostamazingnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Funny-Shopping-Bags-1.jpg

And when you see SaskatchewanChamp, just throw this over his head...

http://failfun.com/wp-content/uploads/bullshitbag.jpg

[Shaved Monkey]

The United Paper Bag Secretary of Homeland Security (Shaved Monkey) is the head of the United Paper Bag Department of Homeland Security, the body concerned with protecting the TPWW homeland and the safety of the Paper Bag BRETHREN. The Secretary is a member of the President's Cabinet. The position was created by the Homeland Security Act following various SERVER OVERLOADS and any possible v.W.o terrorist attacks. The new department consisted primarily of components transferred from other cabinet departments because of their role in homeland security, such as the Brown Guard, Protective Brown Service, United Paper Bag Customs and Forum Border Protection (which includes the Forum Border Patrol), Secret Service, and the Forum Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), and keeping a close eye on the Vietnemese Crippler and his stranglehold on the tech forum . It did not, however, include Jabba's vise-like grip on the c-fed forum.[1]

On January 20, 2009, the Senate confirmed The Naitch's appointment of Shaved Monkey to be the 1st Secretary of Homeland Security.[2] To assure a smooth transition however, Lara Emily aka Larry Emilio was asked to use the mens' washroom if ever she/he steps foot in the Brown House for we do not recognize her/his sex change as legitimate.

I promise that no harm will ever come to us. My brown shirts will keep us safe and pure for all eternity.

[The Naitch]

The United Paper Bag Secretary of the Interior (Flash Funk) is the head of the United Paper Bag Department of the Interior.

The UPB Department of the Interior should not be confused with the concept of Ministries of the Interior as used in other countries. Ministries of the Interior correspond primarily to the Department of Homeland Forum Security in the UPB cabinet and secondarily to the Department of Sid Justice.

The Department of the Interior oversees such agencies as the Bureau of Wrestling Forum Management, the United Paper Bag Geological Survey (and the study of various rocks), and the National Forum Park Service. The Secretary also serves on and appoints the private citizens on the National Forum Park Foundation board. The Secretary is a member of the President's Cabinet.

Because the policies and activities of the Department of the Interior and many of its agencies have a substantial impact on TPWW.net and SaskatchewanChamp's mother,[1] the Secretary of the Interior typically comes from a vBulletin state; only one of the individuals to hold the office since 2009 is not identified with a state lying west of the TPWW.net green & blue color schemes. The Secretary of the Interior is eighth in the United Paper Bag presidential line of succession.

[XCaliber]

I've got dibs on the Secretary of Treasury cuz I like me some money money yeah yeah but seriously though I still need a paper bag for my avatar.

[The Naitch]

The Secretary of the Treasury (XCaliber) of the United Paper Bags is the head of the United Paper Bags Department of the Treasury, which is concerned with financial and monetary matters, and, until 2003, also with some issues of national security and defense. This position in the Forum Government of the United Paper Bags is analogous to the Minister of Finance in many other countries. Most of the Department's law enforcement agencies such as the UPB Customs Service, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF), and the U.S. Secret Service were reassigned to other Departments in 2003 in conjunction with the creation of the Department of Homeland Security. The Secretary of the Treasury is a member of the President's Cabinet, and since the Anybody Thrilla Administration, has been a member of the U.S. National Security Council. By law and by tradition, the Secretary of the Treasury is fifth in the United Paper Bags presidential line of succession, in case of some extreme calamity or forum crash courtesy of Triple A getting too much semen on his keyboard.

"The Secretary of the Treasury is the principal economic advisor to the President and plays a critical role in policy-making by bringing an economic and government financial policy perspective to issues facing the government. The Secretary is responsible for formulating and recommending domestic and international financial, economic, and tax policy, participating in the formulation of broad fiscal policies that have general significance for the economy, and managing the public debt. The Secretary oversees the activities of the Department in carrying out its major law enforcement responsibilities; in serving as the financial agent for the United Paper Bags Government; and in manufacturing coins, currency, and "MAD FLOW".

"The Chief Financial Officer of the government, the Secretary serves as Chairman Pro Tempore of the President's Economic Policy Council, Chairman of the Boards and Managing Trustee of the Social Security and Medicare Trust Funds, and as U.S. Governor of the International Monetary Fund, the International Bank for Reconstruction and Development, the Inter-American Development Bank, the Asian Development Bank, and the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development."

The Secretary along with the Treasurer must sign Federal Reserve notes before they can become legal tender.[citation needed] The Secretary also manages the United Paper Bags Emergency Economic Stabilization fund.

The Secretary of the Treasury earns $1.25 per year.

[Lock Jaw]

but seriously though I still need a paper bag for my avatar.

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/x.png

:mad:

[DAMN iNATOR]

I'll take one...*if* I can be assigned to the post of Ambassador to the U.N.

EDIT: AND if you can provide two bags...one for each in my avatar. Please.

[XCaliber]

Thanks Naitch I'll try not to spend that all in one place it's time to party!

<iframe width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5tn-5V4aCgA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Woohoo!

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/x.png

:mad:

No need to get mad you are WINNING!

[Nervous Ferret]

First black prez

[Volare]

You need secret service....and I'm ex military....:)

[The Naitch]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wYOqE4H4V6U/TJeajk5NW8I/AAAAAAAAAnU/JxNsvOd1dhE/s1600/bolton.jpg

The United States Ambassador to the United Nations is VSG, the leader of the UPB delegation, the UPB Mission to the United Nations. The position is more formally known as the "Permanent Representative of the United Paper Bags of TPWW to the United Nations, with the rank and status of Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary, and Representative of the United Paper Bags of TPWW in the Security Council of the United Nations"; it is also known as the UPB Permanent Representative, or "Perm Rep", to the United Nations.

The UPB Permanent Representative, currently Juan's mother (who is currently incarcerated), is charged with representing the UPB on the U.N. Security Council and during almost all plenary meetings of the General Assembly, except in the rare situation in which a more senior officer of the United Paper Bags (such as the UPB Secretary of State or the President of the United Paper Bags aka FIRST BLACK PREZ Nervous Ferret) is present. Like all United Paper Bags ambassadors, he or she must be nominated by the UPB President and confirmed by the Senate.

Many prominent UPB politicians and diplomats have held the post like YOUNG GOLDIE setting up shop ALONGSIDE Too $hort with orange juice bottle FULL OF GIN, including Big O and his Jersey Shore BRETHEREN.

It was a cabinet-level position under the Anybody Thrilla Administration and is under the Nervous Ferret Administration as well. It was not a cabinet-level position under the Summer of Sixx Administration (from 2001 to 2009).

[The Naitch]

http://www.cheatcodesgalore.com/xbox360/games/Secret_Service_Ultimate_Sacrifice/Secret_Service_Ultimate_Sacrifice-s0.jpg

Volare is The Head of the Secret Service, a United Paper Bags federal law enforcement agency that is part of the United Paper Bags Department of Homeland Security.[2] The sworn members are divided among the Special Agents and the Uniformed Division. Until March 1, 2003, the Service was part of the United Paper Bags Department of the Treasury.[3]

The UPB Secret Service has two distinct areas of responsibility:

-Treasury roles, covering missions such as prevention and investigation of counterfeiting of UPB currency and UPB treasury bonds notes and investigation of major fraud.[4]

-Protective roles, ensuring the safety of current and former national leaders and their families, such as the President NERVOUS FERRET, past Presidents, Vice President THE NAITCH, presidential candidates, foreign embassies (per an agreement with the UPB State Department's Bureau of Diplomatic Security (DS) Office of Foreign Missions (OFM)), etc.[5]

-The Secret Service's initial responsibility was to investigate crimes related to the Treasury and then evolved into the United Paper Bags' first domestic intelligence and counterintelligence agency. Many of the agency's missions were later taken over by subsequent agencies such as the Forum Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF), Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), and Internal Revenue Service (IRS).

[The Naitch]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_X-cZTMW2TSY/SRKBGT07pyI/AAAAAAAAABM/3pVdEHurkFA/s400/ferret01.jpghttp://www.amysdesigns.com/images/ferretforpresident10x10.gif

The President of the United Paper Bags of TPWW, NERVOUS FERRET (aka First BLACK Prez aka The Meanest Poster), is the head of state and head of government of the UPB. The president leads the executive branch of the federal government and is the commander-in-chief of the UPB Armed Forces.

Article II of the UPB Constitution vests the executive power of the UPB in the president and charges him with the execution of federal law, alongside the responsibility of appointing federal executive, diplomatic, regulatory, and judicial officers, and concluding treaties with foreign powers, with the advice and consent of the Senate. The president is further empowered to grant federal pardons and reprieves, and to convene and adjourn either or both houses of Congress under extraordinary circumstances.[3] Since the founding of the United Paper Bags, the power of the president and the federal government have grown substantially[4] and each modern president, despite possessing no formal legislative powers beyond signing or vetoing congressionally passed bills, is largely responsible for dictating the legislative agenda of his party and the foreign and domestic policy of the United Paper Bags.[5] The president is frequently described as the most powerful person in the world. BELIE' DAT PLAYA. He be running shit[6][7][8][9][10][11]

The president is indirectly elected by the people through the Electoral College to a four-year term, and is one of only two nationally elected federal officers, the other being the Vice President THE NAITCH (yup) of the United Paper Bags .[12] The Twenty-second Amendment, adopted in THE MONTH OF MUGEK in 2010, prohibits anyone from ever being elected to the presidency for a third full term. It also prohibits a person from being elected to the presidency more than once if that person previously had served as President, or Acting President, for more than two years of another person's term as President. In all, 43 individuals have served 55 four-year terms.[13] On June 9, 2011 in THE SUMMER OF SIXX, Nervous Ferret aka FIRST BLACK PREZ aka The MEANEST Poster, became the UPB's current president, based on the FIRST COME FIRST SERVE approach

http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000652839/polls_obama_2Bblack_president_2Bvictorsila_0602_686532_poll_xlarge.jpeg

[Emperor Smeat]

No actual Secretary of Paper Bags position?

You need someone to make and supply the bags like how Ted Dibiase Jr was Rhodes Secretary of Paper Bags.

[Supreme Olajuwon]

where's my avatar's bag? hmm? cause I don't see one

[Nervous Ferret]

I had to remove DAMN iNATOR from his cabinet position after he tried to double cross me in a thread, AND THEN negatively rated me twice. We can't have descension.

[Nervous Ferret]

Plus he sent me a pic of his junk. Who wants to see that, gross

[Vastardikai]

Seeing as how I'm from GA, and was in FFA in high school (as well as being the first multi-bagged Avatar), I want to be Sec of Agriculture.

[DAMN iNATOR]

I had to remove DAMN iNATOR from his cabinet position after he tried to double cross me in a thread, AND THEN negatively rated me twice. We can't have descension.

It's "dissention". Get a dictionary. This is why you can't have a reliable UN Ambassador of the UPB like me anymore because you criticize me and spread your hateful lies to all who will listen and take your side.

Ya know what, fuck quitting! I'm not quitting at all, nor will I allow the crooked PoTUPB take my position away. NerF, you wanted a fight you got one, you son of a bitch! I'm demanding that you allow me to stay on as UPB U.N. Ambassador or I shall have no other recourse than to petition the U.N. to entirely and completely remove UPB as a member...for good.

Don't test me.

[Lock Jaw]

Pretty sure DAMN iNATOR should have had diplomatic immunity. Can neg rep/double-cross whoever he wants, and get away with it.

[Nervous Ferret]

Hello no not on this black prez's watch. To the birds I say

[The Naitch]

http://www.lifelounge.com/resources/IMGDETAIL/MISS_HIGH_TIMES_DETAIL.jpg

The United Paper Bags Secretary of Agriculture is the head of the United Paper Bags Department of Agriculture. The current secretary is Vastardikai, who was confirmed by the UPB Senate on 9 June 2011. [1] The position carries similar responsibilities to those of agriculture ministers in other governments. He's basically a freakin' gardener.

The department includes several organizations. The 297,000 mi2 (770,000 km²) of national forests, grasslands and government funded grow-operations of HIGH GRADE marijuana, spearheaded by the VASTARDIZED ALLIANCE COMMITTEE and managed by the United Paper Bags Forest Service.[2] The safety of food produced that are produced in the UPB and sold here is ensured by the UPB Food Safety and Inspection Service.[3] Gotta keep shit sanitary yo. The Food Stamp Program works to provide food to low-income people like SuperSlim, Savior and ilt_undertaker.[4] They also made it mandatory that Mexicans wash their hands before preparing food services. If caught not washing their hands, they will be jailed and/or deported. Advice for farmers and gardeners is provided by the United Paper Bags Cooperative State Research, Education, and Extension Service.[

[DAMN iNATOR]

Hello no not on this black prez's watch. To the birds I say

Say what you want...I'm staying, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. :mad:

[The Naitch]

No actual Secretary of Paper Bags position?

You need someone to make and supply the bags like how Ted Dibiase Jr was Rhodes Secretary of Paper Bags.



In their secret meeting spot....

http://www.hoardedordinaries.com/lori/images/2004-09-25a.jpg

http://prorasslin.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/cody-rhodes-and-ted-dibiase.jpg?w=245&h=378

Lock Jaw and Smelly Meatball discuss important business matters in regards to paper bag distribution and logistics

http://tribalwrestling.com/wp-content/uploads/cody-rhodes-ted-dibiase.jpg

Smelly Meatball: I promise big things this summer

Lock Jaw: Pffft...I do all the leg work :roll:

[VSG]

I am in for whatever position, "bro"

[Nervous Ferret]

VSG you can have DAMN iNATORS position. Like he was doing any good anyway :lol:

All hail the new UPB U.N Ambassador, VSG

[DAMN iNATOR]

VSG you can have DAMN iNATORS position. Like he was doing any good anyway :lol:

All hail the new UPB U.N Ambassador, VSG

I WON'T ALLOW IT!

[Nervous Ferret]

Sure thing Mr. President


OH WAIT

[VSG]

Oh cool, I always wanted to inherit a madman's position and serve a well-hung black stud president :y:

[DAMN iNATOR]

Just for that, VSG...between the two of us...our friendship (what little we had anyway)?

IT'S OVER! :n:

BACKSTABBING PRICK. :nono:

[mhirn3]

is running for Secretary of Commerce...I was going to say HUD, but then I realized I hate poor and needy assholes.

[The Naitch]

keep an eye for the updates, from now on it will only be on page 1

[VSG]

Just for that, VSG...between the two of us...our friendship (what little we had anyway)?

IT'S OVER! :n:

BACKSTABBING PRICK. :nono:

A custom title doesn't make it official, MAD iNATOR.

[DAMN iNATOR]

Whatever. Douche.

EDIT: P.S. - Put that in your "custom title" and smoke it!

[The Naitch]

http://e-techsup.com/Portals/0/e-commerce.jpg

mhirn3 is the head of the United Paper Bags of TPWW Department of Commerce concerned with business and industry; the Department states its mission to be "to foster, promote, and develop the foreign and domestic commerce aka BRING IN THE DOUGH."[2] Until 1913 there was one Secretary of Commerce and Labor, uniting this department with the Department of Labor, which is now headed by a separate Secretary of Labor.[3]

The Office of the Secretary contains a Deputy Secretary of Commerce, a Chief of Staff, a Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy, an Assistant Secretary for Commerce and Intergovernmental Affairs, a Chief Financial Officer and Assistant Secretary for Administration, a Chief Information Officer, a General Counsel, an Inspector General, an Office of Business Liaison, an Office of Policy and Strategic Planning, an Office of Public Affairs, an Office of White House Liaison, and an International IPR Enforcement Coordinator.[4]

The current Secretary of Commerce is mhirn3, who was nominated for the post by Vice President The Naitch on June 6, 2011, and was confirmed by the UPB Senate by unanimous consent on the same day, asshole.[5]

mhirn3 is El Presidente's third choice for the post following New Mexico Governor Juan Cena, who dropped out of consideration in early January 2009, and Republican Senator D-Mac from Redneck Country, who withdrew his nomination in February 2009.

[The Naitch]

fuck I feel like I'm c-fedding. Posting all these pics and shit, and watching this Ferret/VSG/DAMN iNATOR feud build up

[DAMN iNATOR]

fuck I feel like I'm c-fedding. Posting all these pics and shit, and watching this Ferret/VSG/DAMN iNATOR feud build up

So why don't you do something about it instead of just bitching and complaining?!:rant::nono::foc:

[VSG]

Lol a neg rep from DAMN iNATOR. Bring back memories from my very first post here where he neg repped me :'( :heart:

[The Naitch]

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/01/gayparentsCORBIS_228x263.jpg

*DAMN iNATOR and SaskatchewanChamp enjoy a nice walk in the park*

[CSL]

lol DAMN iNATOR's angry downs neg reps are the best

[Lock Jaw]

DAMN iNATOR gonna secede. Start his own country... with blackjack! And Hookers!

[Juan]

lol @ DAMN iNATOR in this thread

Are you serious, bro?

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmc3v2eHJI1ql3jw4o1_500.jpg

[The Naitch]

I'll take one...*if* I can be assigned to the post of Ambassador to the U.N.

EDIT: AND if you can provide two bags...one for each in my avatar. Please.

*lol*

and lol @ being denied your 2 bags. Please.

:lol:

[Seth82]

fun read...

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Attorney General Warning:

<img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3656/3388451839_87b11908ff.jpg" id="il_fi" height="338" width="450" style="padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px; padding-bottom: 8px; ">

Do not use this bag for your bag.

[Volare]

Yo NerF

http://www.nydailynews.com/img/2008/11/07/alg_secret-service.jpg



I got ya back.

[Nervous Ferret]

Thank you Volare.

[Volare]

Heh, wonder if I can find some kind of bag badge.

[XCaliber]

This stable is improving quickly and making the world a better place. :y:

[The Naitch]

guys, public enemy #1 is still DAMN iNATOR...

"The disgruntled former employee"

Keep an eye on him, I have a feeling he's out for revenge. Fucking nutcase

[Jura]

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llkctpX3Pa1qg3yc2o1_400.jpg

[Mike the Metal Ed]

I wish to join, requiring an avatar and a cabinet position. If the position of Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_of_State_for_Culture,_Olympics,_Media_and_Sport) can be created to accomodate me, I'll take that, if I can't then I'll take transport secretary.

[Sixx]

Whatever. Douche.

EDIT: P.S. - Put that in your "custom title" and smoke it!

You are unbelievably terrible.

Please keep going.

[The Jayman]

Good Lord!! I was off negotiating international paper bag treaties and all hell breaks loose here.

[Fignuts]

Unfortunate that we can't put paper bags over your posts.

[Schlomey]

I wanna run the EPA!

[Malfeitor]

Nothing but anarchy from DAMN iNATOR!

[Shaved Monkey]

Think we need to replace Damninator's paper bag with a plastic one for the sake of national security.

[Lock Jaw]

I wanna run the EPA!

You can run the SHUT YOUR UGLY FACE. :foc:

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q223/Trrrath/shlom.png


BAH. Could not contain that nose. :mad:

[The Naitch]

http://www.pa-legion.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/specialolympics.jpg

Mike The Metal Ed aka The Secretary of State for Culture, Olympics, Media and Sport (previously Culture, Media and Sport) is a United Paper Bags cabinet position with responsibility for the Department for Culture, Media and Sport. The role was created right now by Mike. The first to fill the role, MIKE, dubbed it "Minister of Fun".[1]

[VSG]

Mike the Metal Ed seems to be running the Special Olympics.

[BigDaddyCool]

Dear bagheads,

I BDC request you vote BDC in the king of the forum tourney.

Love,
BigDaddyCool

[VSG]

Get Unicron a bag, then we'll talk.

[Ermaximus]

Well NerF, Xero, and I also need your votes.

[BigDaddyCool]

Get Unicron a bag, then we'll talk.

he is wearing one, it is just very small :shifty:

[Volare]

Status : No attacks from Hillbilly Jim in the last 24 hours.

[Ermaximus]

Oh sweet merciful....

I'd be more worried about Skinner.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

<img src="http://www.freewebs.com/2muchfood/photos/The-Simpsons/skinner.jpg" id="il_fi" height="338" width="278" style="padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px; padding-bottom: 8px; ">

[djoutcry]

Secretary of Labor Baby!!!

[The Naitch]

http://kilburnhall.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/mexicans.jpg

The United Paper Bags Secretary of Labor djoutcry is the head of the Department of Labor who exercises control over the department and enforces and suggests laws involving unions, the workplace, and all other issues involving any form of business-person controversies. He also makes sure that employees are well trained in washing their hands after using the toilet before going back to work. djoutcry created the 7 day intensive program

Previously there was one Secretary of Commerce and Labor, uniting this department with the Department of Commerce, which is headed by a separate Secretary of Commerce. Seven women have served as Secretary of Labor, which is more than any other cabinet position. djoutcry is the first male.

[VSG]

lol at that picture.

[mhirn3]

The current Secretary of Commerce is mhirn3, who was nominated for the post by Vice President The Naitch on June 6, 2011, and was confirmed by the UPB Senate by unanimous consent on the same day, asshole.[5]

mhirn3 is El Presidente's third choice for the post following New Mexico Governor Juan Cena, who dropped out of consideration in early January 2009, and Republican Senator D-Mac from Redneck Country, who withdrew his nomination in February 2009.


Fuck yeah! Paper bag money now rolls thru me!

[Nervous Ferret]

Team Paper Bag, JUAN needs your help.

[VSG]

I don't see him wearing a bag.

[Nervous Ferret]

Juan isn't in the club? Does he still show Entourage in the Vault?

[VSG]

I don't think he shows anything in the Vault these days.

[Nervous Ferret]

What a prick

[Ermaximus]

My brothers, I'm only down by a few votes. You can help a relative newbie strike it big in KotF!

[Volare]

Do it now, or you're a communist!

[BizarroKing]

I'll be Secretary of Energy

[What Would Kevin Do?]

While my position in this administration has yet to be determined, whatever office I hold in the future supports a Rectal Pertruder victory in KotF. MAKE IT HAPPEN! MY FUTURE OFFICE COMMANDS IT OF YOU!

As does my rare three-bagged avatar.

[Ultra Mantis]

Secretary of Space Exploration & Cross-dimensional relations.

First on the agenda would be developing a paper bag that will allow us to breathe without oxygen. Vital cabinet position and wise use of budget.

[The Naitch]

Ultra Mantis http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/27500/Astronaut-----27622.jpg

http://30.media.tumblr.com/QRdxPCPZtkr228trYziat9p2o1_500.jpg

[The Naitch]

http://www.energy.gov/recovery/images/SecretaryChu_recovery.jpg

[Ermaximus]

So I brought donuts, but that schmuck I hired to make coffee hasn't come back. He's fired.

[VSG]

Any DAMN iNATOR sighting yet? I have a APB issued against him :mad:

[Volare]

Nope, Hillbilly...er Damn hasn't been around.

[Nervous Ferret]

http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=113621

Team Paper Bags... Assemble ! :(

[mhirn3]

http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=113621

Team Paper Bags... Assemble ! :(

You got my vote.

[VSG]

http://www.tpww.net/forums/image.php?u=14918&dateline=1306799442&type=thumb (http://www.tpww.net/forums/member.php?u=14918)
Today 01:19 PM
VSG (http://www.tpww.net/forums/member.php?u=14918)

Are you still upset over that whole Bag government thing? It was all in jest you know :'(


<form action="member_inlinemod.php?u=14918" method="post" id="visitor_message_inlinemod_form">

http://www.tpww.net/forums/image.php?u=6835&dateline=1307031822&type=thumb (http://www.tpww.net/forums/member.php?u=6835)
<input class="inlinemod_checkbox" name="vmessagelist[33636]" id="vmessagelist_33636" value="0" title="" type="checkbox"> Today 01:27 PM
DAMN iNATOR (http://www.tpww.net/forums/member.php?u=6835)

You stole my fucking "job" just because NerF has it in for me for not voting for him in the K.o.t.F. matches. I'm not supposed to be upset about that?! Being "fired" hours after I was hired, and then outsourced?!

I'd be on good terms with you again, if and only IF, you could convince NerF to:

A.) Restore my previous job
B.) Hook me up with a new job in the "administration" with NerF's OK.

Until and unless that happens, don't speak to me. You're still on my shit list.


</form>

[VSG]

Well that's clearly a blackmail against Nerf in KotF and me in KotWF. Do we give in to blackmail? :'(

[CSL]

http://www.tpww.net/forums/image.php?u=14918&dateline=1306799442&type=thumb (http://www.tpww.net/forums/member.php?u=14918)
Today 01:19 PM
VSG (http://www.tpww.net/forums/member.php?u=14918)

Are you still upset over that whole Bag government thing? It was all in jest you know :'(


<form action="member_inlinemod.php?u=14918" method="post" id="visitor_message_inlinemod_form">

http://www.tpww.net/forums/image.php?u=6835&dateline=1307031822&type=thumb (http://www.tpww.net/forums/member.php?u=6835)
<input class="inlinemod_checkbox" name="vmessagelist[33636]" id="vmessagelist_33636" value="0" title="" type="checkbox"> Today 01:27 PM
DAMN iNATOR (http://www.tpww.net/forums/member.php?u=6835)

You stole my fucking "job" just because NerF has it in for me for not voting for him in the K.o.t.F. matches. I'm not supposed to be upset about that?! Being "fired" hours after I was hired, and then outsourced?!

I'd be on good terms with you again, if and only IF, you could convince NerF to:

A.) Restore my previous job
B.) Hook me up with a new job in the "administration" with NerF's OK.

Until and unless that happens, don't speak to me. You're still on my shit list.


</form>

ahahahahahaha :'(

that might be the greatest thing written on the internet in the history of ever

[CSL]

still half convinced he's a DrA sock

[Londoner]

hahahahahaha

gotta laugh at damninator

[VSG]

http://www.tpww.net/forums/group.php?groupid=117

lol :'(

I am offering him Secretary of Education. No one more deserving and qualified.

[Londoner]

My Newcastle Utd badge avatar has joined the paper bag revolution. :cool:

[VSG]

You can't even join that exclusive group of his, that's how exclusive it is!

[Londoner]

:D

Amazing.

[Nervous Ferret]

Damn inator can be back in. He can have the director of office management and budget thing

[Nervous Ferret]

I formally resign by the way