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View Full Version : Sometimes an "internet wrestling news story" is so good/demented you pray it's true no matter what


CSL
09-22-2011, 06:44 PM
WWE Diva Natalya helped foil an audacious attempt by ex Diva Melina to involve herself in last nights Divas tag match in Cleveland. On Monday afternoon Natalya recieved a text message from Melina claiming she was in Cleveland, had a ticket for the Raw show and asking "If I jump KK (Kelly Kelly), you will play ball right?"

Natalya presumed this was a joke, but showed it to the Divas' liaison who after alerting WWE security then asked her to ring Melina to find out exactly what she had planned. The conversation, which Natalya put on loud-speaker with several members of the lockeroom present included a rambling and possibly under the influence Melina suggesting that attacking Kelly live on Raw would get her a job back as a Diva as "Vince loves reality angles"

Sure enough Melina was spotted in the queue for the show with a ticket. Unlike what she may have witnessed on WWE television, she was to find out that WWE are actually allowed to turn people away whether they have a ticket to the show or not. A humiliated Melina was warned that the next time she tries something like this the police will be involved.

Not for the first time Melina's on-off boyfriend John Morrison bore the brunt of her misadventure. He was asked to "keep his woman under control" and his in-ring appearance was that 30 second squash defeat to Alberto Del Rio.

Xero
09-22-2011, 06:46 PM
ROFL, God I hope that's true.

Triple Naitch
09-22-2011, 06:47 PM
Amazing

Xero
09-22-2011, 06:48 PM
Melina is the female Matt Hardy. Except even Matt isn't delusional enough to do something like that.

Droford
09-22-2011, 06:50 PM
wonder what would have happened if she just showed up and was on tv

Xero
09-22-2011, 06:51 PM
If she actually achieved this and they played along, everyone involved in working with Melina would have been fired and Melina would have been arrested. Also, Morrison probably would have gotten shit-canned on the spot. Also, the camera would have been cut the second they noticed it.

Then they'd all appear on TNA and use that momentum as the central part of a storyline about how shitty WWE is.

El Fangel
09-22-2011, 06:56 PM
At first I laughed.

Then I laughed harder.

CSL
09-22-2011, 06:59 PM
I'm pretty sure it's complete bollocks but I have to give points for creativity and really making me wanting something to be true

Theo Dious
09-22-2011, 07:03 PM
Melina is the female Matt Hardy. Except even Matt isn't delusional enough to do something like that.

Horseshit. He did it several times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7K0oNE8zfo

:shifty:

Theo Dious
09-22-2011, 07:04 PM
I also vehemently hope that this story is true, as it's 100 times funnier that way.

MoFo
09-22-2011, 07:08 PM
looool

SlickyTrickyDamon
09-22-2011, 07:08 PM
Natalya: The Jack Bauer of the WWE.

Droford
09-22-2011, 07:11 PM
If she actually achieved this and they played along, everyone involved in working with Melina would have been fired and Melina would have been arrested. Also, Morrison probably would have gotten shit-canned on the spot. Also, the camera would have been cut the second they noticed it.

Then they'd all appear on TNA and use that momentum as the central part of a storyline about how shitty WWE is.
Welina
Worrison


Team 2W-E

Lock Jaw
09-22-2011, 07:16 PM
"Vince Loves Reality Angles!"

Should have hired this dude to feud with Batitsa:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/9jY18YTCoLA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Crimson
09-22-2011, 07:33 PM
Melina got released??

CSL
09-22-2011, 07:34 PM
yeah, you hadn't noticed that RAW had gotten significantly better and less annoying sounding in recent months?

Xero
09-22-2011, 07:45 PM
I'D ASSUME WWE.COM CHAT GOT LESS OBNOXIOUS BY ABOUT 10%, TOO.

Innovator
09-22-2011, 07:55 PM
I want this to be true so bad.

VSG
09-22-2011, 07:59 PM
NO WAI!

GD
09-22-2011, 08:09 PM
OMG! This is fantastic! Ladies and Gentlemen, Marty Jannetty has arrived.

Nicky Fives
09-22-2011, 08:22 PM
Morrison needs to ditch this crazy bitch before he gets canned..... In all honesty, I hope they have a long and lasting marriage.....

Xero
09-22-2011, 08:25 PM
Wrestling couples always work out for the best.

Emperor Smeat
09-22-2011, 08:42 PM
:rofl:

Obviously the plan didn't work because she asked the wrong person to attack Kelly Kelly. :shifty:

One of the first things I thought about for some weird reason was Melina saying the phrase from Scooby Doo when a villain has their plan foiled.

Volare
09-22-2011, 08:57 PM
Natty should've went along with the plan, then decked Melina as soon as she jumped the wall.

Jura
09-22-2011, 09:08 PM
If she wants her job back she needs to expose those large titties.

GD
09-22-2011, 10:10 PM
anandraval is telling me that it is not right to punish someone for someone else's mistake. lol

screech
09-22-2011, 11:59 PM
If she wants her job back she needs to expose those large titties.

Anything to take the attention away from her hideous face.

screech
09-23-2011, 12:02 AM
Also I hope this is true. Her reaction to the plan being foiled was probably hilarious.

Rammsteinmad
09-23-2011, 01:36 AM
Ahhhh how the bandwagon has fallen apart. I remember not too long ago, everyone on these boards were ejaculating over how hot Melina is and how talented of a female wrestler she is.

Anyways, the real tragedy here is how John Morrison seems to keep taking the punishments for her foolishness. :(

owenbrown
09-23-2011, 01:43 AM
Welina
Worrison


Team 2W-E

STOP GIVING RUSSO IDEAS!

Cool King
09-23-2011, 02:23 AM
Ahhhh how the bandwagon has fallen apart. I remember not too long ago, everyone on these boards were ejaculating over how hot Melina is and how talented of a female wrestler she is.

I've never found Melina hot. I've always thought Melina was below average for "hotness" and highly irritating.

This story about her though, I'd love for it to be true, but true or not, it's still pretty funny.

Droford
09-23-2011, 02:24 AM
Trust me, if I ever see Russo (or anyone else for that matter) actually use one of my far flung ideas, I'll stop posting on here and start trying to sell them my ideas.

chrisat928
09-23-2011, 02:56 AM
"Vince Loves Reality Angles!"

Should have hired this dude to feud with Batitsa:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/9jY18YTCoLA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Was that actually real?

Rammsteinmad
09-23-2011, 04:33 AM
No, come on, if it really was 'real' they would have cut the cameras or something.

screech
09-23-2011, 08:17 AM
Ahhhh how the bandwagon has fallen apart. I remember not too long ago, everyone on these boards were ejaculating over how hot Melina is and how talented of a female wrestler she is.

Anyways, the real tragedy here is how John Morrison seems to keep taking the punishments for her foolishness. :(

Always thought she was hideous and never thought she was that good, really. More annoying than anything else.

screech
09-23-2011, 08:18 AM
Think Morrison knew/played a role in this?

Volare
09-23-2011, 08:28 AM
Melina can just go to TNA and steal another Mortal Kombat name. She's got Jade, Kitana, and Skarlet. Just copy the color schemes for it and she's fine and well.

Swiss Ultimate
09-23-2011, 08:53 AM
I never understood what Foley saw in her.

Xero
09-23-2011, 10:08 AM
His penis.

Volare
09-23-2011, 10:17 AM
Her 3 holes fit better than a bowling ball?

XL
09-23-2011, 10:18 AM
Ahhhh how the bandwagon has fallen apart. I remember not too long ago, everyone on these boards were ejaculating over how hot Melina is and how talented of a female wrestler she is.

Anyways, the real tragedy here is how John Morrison seems to keep taking the punishments for her foolishness. :(
Welcome to TPWW/the IWC.
Melina can just go to TNA and steal another Mortal Kombat name. She's got Jade, Kitana, and Skarlet. Just copy the color schemes for it and she's fine and well.
Ooooooooooooooooo. Skarlet and Crimson, I can see it now.

Fox
09-23-2011, 02:10 PM
I would've liked to see Melina try this and then Kelly Kelly goes apeshit on her, Eddie Guerrero Ladder Match fan run-in style, and beats the living hell out of her before security pulls her off and Kelly goes on with her match as if nothing happened.

Theo Dious
09-23-2011, 09:39 PM
Melina can just go to TNA and steal another Mortal Kombat name.

You do realize that Melina is her birth name, yes? *looks at your avatar* Never mind, you've probably been distracted by something shiny by now.

Fox
09-24-2011, 03:58 AM
"Do you see what I'm seeing, Taz?! It's Kitana! Kitana has come to the Impact Zone!"

Volare
09-24-2011, 09:50 AM
You do realize that Melina is her birth name, yes? *looks at your avatar* Never mind, you've probably been distracted by something shiny by now.

Hey now I don't fucking appreciOH MY GOD SHINY RED BALL!!!!

Theo Dious
09-24-2011, 02:24 PM
Do we have confirmation on this story or not? I demand answers.

Xero
09-24-2011, 02:27 PM
I can't find this ANYWHERE except message boards in searching. At this point I don't even consider this a rumor, just something obviously made up on a message board and it went viral.

If Ryan Clark isn't reporting it, there's literally no chance of it being remotely true.

CSL
09-24-2011, 02:31 PM
that works both ways ;)

Xero
09-24-2011, 02:37 PM
Not really. He steals news from reputable sources. It's like 60/40 in favor of bullshit.

Mr. Nerfect
09-24-2011, 07:25 PM
Melina can just go to TNA and steal another Mortal Kombat name. She's got Jade, Kitana, and Skarlet. Just copy the color schemes for it and she's fine and well.

She seems like a Skarlet, actually. Although, Melina is actually her name. I'm pretty sure she could use it in TNA. Plus, since TNA has that sleazier vibe to it, she would actually be a great fit for them. That being said, the bitch is crazy, and seemingly has a shit-load of attitude problems (and I don't buy them as simply rumours, or else the chick would still have a job). Someone really needs to sit down with Johnny Nitro and explain to him that he's a young, good looking man with a potentially amazing career making loads of money -- he doesn't need some obviously unstable bitch messing it up.

Volare
09-25-2011, 06:57 AM
Morrison could probably fuck any girl he wanted in any town anywhere. This is why I hate life, a man is given gifts like Morrison has, and the fucking idiot wants to waste them on a dumb chick that wants to fuck up his life.

And instead of seeing the writing on the wall so to speak, he spends most of his time in the dark and not opening his eyes to what the fuck is really going on around him.

Lock Jaw
09-25-2011, 04:00 PM
http://i53.tinypic.com/e5kb9t.jpg

LET ME IN I JUST WANT TO PLAAAAAAAAYYY

BigCrippyZ
09-25-2011, 04:08 PM
http://i53.tinypic.com/e5kb9t.jpg



I wouldn't fuck that ugly, nasty man-bitch with Matt Hardy's dick.

Pintint
09-25-2011, 05:27 PM
Morrison could probably fuck any girl he wanted in any town anywhere. This is why I hate life, a man is given gifts like Morrison has, and the fucking idiot wants to waste them on a dumb chick that wants to fuck up his life.

And instead of seeing the writing on the wall so to speak, he spends most of his time in the dark and not opening his eyes to what the fuck is really going on around him.

You dont know him, maybe all the girls you find hot, he finds ugly and Melina is his vision of a goddess.

Next Big Thing
09-25-2011, 07:37 PM
I like Melina. She isn't the best looking Diva, but she isn't the worst either. And I think people that slam her in ring ability are letting their personal disdain towards her influence their objectivity. She's more technically sound than every girl on that roster with the exception of Natty, Gail (when she was there) and maybe Beth.

CSL
09-25-2011, 07:40 PM
I don't have any disdain for her, I couldn't care less what she does in her personal life. She's just fucking abysmal.

Next Big Thing
09-25-2011, 07:45 PM
I don't have any disdain for her, I couldn't care less what she does in her personal life. She's just fucking abysmal.

Would you consider Melina worse than Kelly Kelly, Alicia Foxx or the Bellas ring-wise? I'm just curious to know if when you say abysmal, you mean average Diva bad or Rosie Lottalove bad.

CSL
09-25-2011, 07:49 PM
Average diva bad (same as Kelly Kelly, Alicia and co. who are also abysmal) plus added screaming, (more) consistent botching and a piece of shit finish that was possibly the worst thing in wrestling.

Triple Naitch
09-25-2011, 09:16 PM
I can't find this ANYWHERE except message boards in searching. At this point I don't even consider this a rumor, just something obviously made up on a message board and it went viral.

If Ryan Clark isn't reporting it, there's literally no chance of it being remotely true.

It's on his website. Next to the Maria Nip-Slip Photos **HOTTTT**

Innovator
09-26-2011, 07:22 AM
Average diva bad (same as Kelly Kelly, Alicia and co. who are also abysmal) plus added screaming, (more) consistent botching and a piece of shit finish that was possibly the worst thing in wrestling.
She wasn't diva bad until after her injury, she regressed worse than Johnny Boy.

VSG
09-26-2011, 11:08 AM
<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/76FL4xQoNSY?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/76FL4xQoNSY?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="360"></object>

Genuinely thought she was mad hot at the MNM debut. Ah well..

~8:25 in the video

Jari
09-26-2011, 06:58 PM
As much as I would love this story to be true since it would suggest borderline insanity on the part of Melina, I would have to be, somewhat to my suprise, the first to ask: Source?

tjmidnight420
09-26-2011, 07:33 PM
As much as I would love this story to be true since it would suggest borderline insanity on the part of Melina, I would have to be, somewhat to my suprise, the first to ask: Source?

You're the first to ask for a source because the title pretty much suggests that it may not be true. Reading through the thread you'd know that nobody's been able to confirm it.

Jari
09-26-2011, 07:34 PM
Hell I would love to believe but I would just like to know from the OP has got the story.

screech
09-26-2011, 11:16 PM
Judging from her tweets/blogs, Melina seems just crazy (attention-starved?) enough to do this.

MoFo
09-27-2011, 12:08 AM
Always thought she was hideous and never thought she was that good, really. More annoying than anything else.

Ya

Mr. Nerfect
09-27-2011, 03:07 AM
<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/76FL4xQoNSY?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/76FL4xQoNSY?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="360"></object>

Genuinely thought she was mad hot at the MNM debut. Ah well..

~8:25 in the video

I would totally do Melina. And I still think she's hot. In a sultry/slutty kinda way. I probably wouldn't ruin my career over her or anything, though. That video did make me miss Carlito and Joey Mercury, though.

Gertner
09-27-2011, 11:16 AM
So fucking mint

CSL
09-27-2011, 12:06 PM
<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/76FL4xQoNSY?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/76FL4xQoNSY?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="360"></object>

Genuinely thought she was mad hot at the MNM debut. Ah well..

~8:25 in the video

lol Joey Mercury randomly rubbing his balls on Rey at like 12:20 of that video

Theo Dious
09-27-2011, 09:59 PM
So there is a main-page story about Melina denying this tale, along with a masturbatory quip from Clark about not having posted the story.

Mr. Nerfect
09-28-2011, 05:57 AM
Melina should be asking herself what kind of crazy she puts out there that people think this might be true of her, though.