Bring me up to speed, please

[screech]

With my erratic work schedule, along with not having cable in my apartment yet, I'm way behind on my wrestling. Pretty sure the last episode of WWE programming I watched in full was the Raw after WrestleMania. I've seen bits here and there since, but that was the last time I was aware of all the stories (been even longer for TNA).

In this thread I would greatly appreciate it if you would inform me of what's happening with WWE and TNA via descriptions and videos. Rep and ego-boosting comments will come your way.

Thanks so much, guys and gals. You're wonderful :heart:

[Theo Dious]

Andre the Giant rose from the dead and is feuding with Sin Cara. Jake Roberts came out of retirement and is feuding with Scott Hall for the WHC. Vince McMahon had triple bypass surgery live in the ring. Paul Heyman had a sex change operation and is Divas Champion. Rey Mysterio attempted a 3600° splash two months ago and hasn't hit the ground yet. A clone of Shawn Michaels circa 1994 broke into the business as a commentator. They're doing an angle where Kharma is Mark Henry's mom.

And TNA still sucks.

[Ruien]

I assume you have been reading up on the AJ/Punk/Kane/Bryan feud. Just because it is everywhere on these boards.

Big Show is hot right now. He has "injuryed" Clay/Truth/Kofi/Santino/Cena and some more I am may be missing. He just knocked Vince out last Raw, on accident but that is besides the point. Big Show vs Cena at No Way Out, if Cena wins Johnny is fired.

Randy Orton and Y2J have both been suspended and Del Rio is hurt. This left us with Sheamus vs DOLPH ZIGGLER for the belt. They did not really have time to build the match since it all happened so fast.

Christian cameback at the last ppv and won a suprise battle royal. For his efforts he was able to challenge for the US or IC belt. He picked the IC belt, beat Cody Rhodes, and now Cody wants his belt back. basic feud.

Everything else is kind of meh. Big Johhny's "stable" is him, Big Show, Otunga, and Eve.

[VSG]

This is all you need: http://www.wrestlingwithtext.com/

[Corporate CockSnogger]

Ryback has been destroying unknown jobbers for weeks and people here like to make a thread on it every 2-3 days.

[DaveBrawl]

Wait, Orton was suspended? When?

[screech]

I actually don't know anything about the Punk/Kane/Bryan//AJ feud, except that Hasney wants whoever is booking it to book everything.

[screech]

I keep hearing about Damien Sandow and Antonio Cesaro (Castignoli right?). What are the stories there?

Is Heyman still around? Saw he was representing Lesnar or something.

[Poit]

Storyline 1: Intercontinental Championship
After Big Show won at Wrestlemania, Cody Rhodes regained the title in a tables match at Extreme Rules.
Cody then retained the title, losing by countout, in a rematch.
At Over the Limit, Christian returned and won a battle royal to earn a title shot for one of the mdicard titles. He picked the IC title and won.
Christian & Cody are now feuding, and Cody's rematch is this Sunday at No Way Out.

Storyline 2: World Heavyweight Championship
Daniel Bryan had a great rematch against Sheamus at Extreme Rules, which Sheamus won.
Sheamus successfully defended the title against Alberto Del Rio, Orton, and Jericho at Over the Limit.
(Orton & Jericho started feuding around this time, but now they're both suspended)
Del Rio became the #1 contender again, but he got injured. Ziggler won a #1 contender match and gets a title shot this Sunday.

Storyline 3: WWE Championship
The Punk/Jericho feud continued after Wrestlemania, and ended at Extreme Rules when Punk won a street fight.
Daniel Bryan became the #1 contender, starting a Punk/Bryan feud. Punk won at Over the Limit. AJ also became involved in the feud. Punk likes crazy chicks.
Kane joined the feud, leading to a triple thread this Sunday. Kane is still mostly a heel, but he seems to like AJ, which is getting him occasional face reactions.

Storyline 4: People Power
The night after Wrestlemania, Cena called out the Rock, but Brock Lesnar came out instead and F-5'ed Cena.
The following week, Lesnar busted open Cena.
This led to a match at Extreme Rules, before which Lesnar made a bunch of contract demands, which Laurinaitis agreed to.
The Cena/Lesnar match was basically Passion of the Cena III. Of course, Cena won in the end.
The next night, Triple H came out and rejected all of Lesnar's contract demands, and Lesnar broke Triple H's arm.
A week or two later, Paul Heyman came out, as Lesnar's legal advisor, and said he was suing WWE for breach of contract.
The next week, Triple H attacked Heyman, and Heyman is now suing Triple H for assault.
Meanwhile, Cena began feuding with Laurinaitis.
Laurinaitis fired Big Show for making fun of his voice.
Cena & Laurinaitis had a no-DQ match at Over the Limit. The Board of Directors stipulated that if anyone interfered, they would be fired, and if Laurinaitis lost, he would be fired.
Big Show interfered in the match, allowing Laurinaitis to win. Laurinaitis rehired Big Show the next morning.
Big Show and Cena are now feuding, and they'll have a steel cage match this Sunday. If Show wins, Cena is fired; if Cena wins, Laurinaitis is fired.
Meanwhile, Show has been on a bit of warpath, destroying Brodus Clay, Kofi, and R-Truth.

Storyline 5: Teddy Long
Teddy now works for Laurinaitis as basically a servant, doing whatever demeaning things Laurinaitis wants. Teddy puts up with it because he needs to stay employed by WWE for them to pay for his grandkids' college, or something.
Aksana has pretty much forgotten about Teddy, and is now the girlfriend of Antonio Cesaro. Laurinaitis has been making Teddy act as the guest ring announcer for his matches so he has to watch Cesaro & Aksana make out.

Storyline 6: Divas Championship
Nikki Bella beat Beth Phoenix (due to an injury) to win the Divas title on Raw.
At Over the Limit, Beth was still injured and couldn't compete, so she was replaced by Layla, who won the title.
(The Bellas didn't renew their contracts, so they're gone now)
Layla won in Beth's rematch at Over the Limit.
Beth is the #1 contender again, and so they'll have another match this Sunday.

[St. Jimmy]

CM Punk and Bryan Danielson are the only thing tolerable.

[Ruien]

I keep hearing about Damien Sandow and Antonio Cesaro (Castignoli right?). What are the stories there?

Is Heyman still around? Saw he was representing Lesnar or something.

Sandow does not really have a storyline yet. He is very recent, playing the smart heel type of person. He is on Smackdown!, if you start to watch again you will basically just have skipped his first real month.

Really have no idea who Cesaro is.

[Ruien]

Oh and Heymen is not around anymore. He had a 2 week stunt then vanished after he claimed Lesnar was sueing WWE. The storyline has vanished (At least from an on air sense. Dirtsheets and the such give rumors on what is going on with Lesnar; if he is done with the WWE, going back to UFC, or just eating cookies all day).

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Sandow does not really have a storyline yet. He is very recent, playing the smart heel type of person. He is on Smackdown!, if you start to watch again you will basically just have skipped his first real month.

Really have no idea who Cesaro is.

Claudio Castagnoli.

[Theo Dious]

Oh and Heymen is not around anymore. He had a 2 week stunt then vanished after he claimed Lesnar was sueing WWE. The storyline has vanished (At least from an on air sense. Dirtsheets and the such give rumors on what is going on with Lesnar; if he is done with the WWE, going back to UFC, or just eating cookies all day).

HHH is set to appear at the PPV tonight "for the first time since Lesnar & Heyman threatened a lawsuit." I think we can guess this angle will be touched on tonight.

[K.Smoke]

Great Job on WWE I'll do TNA



Hogan is back as GM after a sting request to return to fighting. He has made it so that champions fight constantly. Every month 1 Champion has to defend his hers or their titles on the show. Also every month, 1 person gets to compete in the hopes of landing a TNA contract. They wrestle one week and the next week al snow, Tazz and what ever that other guy name is judge him and vote on him.



Knockout title


Gail Kim has been the champion for a very long time until last PPV where she lost it to Brook Tesmacher. Who is so hot i might add. Brook Hogan now runs the knockout division(yes hogans daughter). She informed Gail yes she does have a rematch clause but Hogan decides when she gets it.

TV title.


Devon has had the title for quite sometime now fighting every week in its defense per new Hulk rules. He had a small fued with Robbie E and a tag match at last PPV with him and Garrett Bischoff(yes Eric's son) vs Robbie E and big Robbie T his bouncer. Devon and Garrett Won.


Tag titles


currently AJ Styles and Kurt Angel are the champions (rediculous I know) the defeated Kazarian and Christipher Daniels for the title at Slammerversary (last PPV) Fued started when supposedly Daniels had so info on AJ as to why he's the golden boy of TNA. Supposedly AJ and Dixie was having an affair details will be next week. anyway during the rift raft Samoan Joe and Maximus had the titles that they won from Crimson and Matt Morgan. By now u realize that the tag division sux in TNA

XDivision


Awsome... I mean Austin Aries has had the belt since he came to TNA damn near but he wants the TNA title his last fued was with Bully Ray (Bubba). Anyway Hogan told him he'd give him a TNA world title shot if he gives up the XDivision title. Aries figure well hey aint nobody in the X Division and agrees.



TNA world title



Bobby Roode is doing a great job as champion in my opinion. He has made title look like it is the main focus of the show. He is currently the longest running champion in TNA history. His next title fight will be against Awesome Aries. B4 that his last match was against Mr. Anderson....Anderson. He beat him fair and square on TV after defending his title the sunday b4 against sting. He has defeated every1 relevent in TNA.



Important side notes


Bound for Glory series have restarted. AT Slammerversary 2 important things happened. 1 James storm returned and ended Crimsons undefeated streak of almost a year and half surpassing Samoan Joe. and 2. James Storm won a over the top battle royal to get a 20 point head start on the BFG.



another important note is that at the end of the last show as Sting was speaking about accepting his award as the first inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame. 3 big guys who must be either new or just for the purpose, they beat Sting Viciously. Noone came to help him. I could not make out who these guys were.