WWE Monday Night RAW - St. Patrick's Day massacre edition featuring Heisenberg edition

[slik]

Tonight's WWE RAW takes place from the AT&T Center in San Antonio, Texas. The Undertaker is advertised for tonight's show. Paul Heyman noted on Twitter that he was in Texas so he will be appearing.

WWE is focusing on the following points for tonight's show:

* What will Triple H have in store for Daniel Bryan?

* Will The Shield face repercussions for not helping Kane on SmackDown?

* What's next in the war of words between Bray Wyatt & John Cena?

* Who's next for The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal?

* Will Randy Orton & Batista make a preemptive strike at Bryan?

*What will happen tonight when Heisenberg attends the show. Will he be forced to cut a promo on a concessions employee?

[ClockShot]

San Antonio. 2-1 Shawn Michaels makes an appearance?

[Dark One]

I'd like to open up this thread on a somber note.

Let us remember the most destructive and terrifying shirt in the history of this great industry. While its time was brief, its impact and memory will linger on.

http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/SheamusChristian2-650x365.jpg

Rest in Peace gold lamé shirt, may you never haunt us again.

[Heisenberg]

I have a great fuckin seat

[Heisenberg]

They made me trash two of my signs, assholes

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

What did the signs say?

[Heisenberg]

We the people

I'll Chokeslam myself

[Droford]

Its time for the pre show

[Heisenberg]

I have one left,

[Droford]

Miz Albert and A-ry on the panel lol

[Droford]

Nattie sure is happy for winning a match on superstars

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

An dre the giant really Miz?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Trophy looks sick.

[Droford]

Miz isn't in the Battle Royal lol

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

When's the last time he did his whiny bitch gimmick during a match on Raw?

[Droford]

Lol @ Cessaro mocking Swagger

[Droford]

Why are they hyping the free trial offer expiring on the network?

[DAMN iNATOR]

Why are they hyping the free trial offer expiring on the network?

Obviously they think fans will get the free week and then decide to order the network. Doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure that out.

Also, hope we get some sort of Sheamus appearance and/or match tonight for St. Paddy's Day, fellas. #Sheamus3:17

[Corndad]

TPWW SIGN!

[Droford]

Obviously they think fans will get the free week and then decide to order the network. Doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure that out.

Also, hope we get some sort of Sheamus appearance and/or match tonight for St. Paddy's Day, fellas. #Sheamus3:17
If I'm watching the raw pre show, I'm either already getting the free trial or paying for it..saying you have til Saturday to sign up for the free trial makes no sense

[ClockShot]

That Heisenberg?

[Droford]

Bootista's shirt should say No Bootista

[ClockShot]

EVOLUTION IS A MYSTERY!

[Lock Jaw]

Batista with almost normal clothes tonight....

[RVDmark]

Does anyone have a stream link? My Sky Go is saying my PC isn't registered and wont let me register it.

[Corndad]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>In <a href="https://twitter.com/DaveBautista">@DaveBautista</a>'s defense, that shirt is only available in youth medium. <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23RAWTonight&amp;src=hash">#RAWTonight</a></p>&mdash; WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) <a href="https://twitter.com/WWECreative_ish/statuses/445712728272158721">March 18, 2014</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[el bobbo]

Hey Batista,

Deal with it.

[ClockShot]

WHERE'S FLAIR?!

[Droford]

Evolution is about to pick up

[el bobbo]

Where does a guy Batista's size even find skinny jeans?

[Droford]

Randy is on single letter terms with H

[FourFifty]

FINALLY!
FourFifty has COME BACK to the Monday Night Raw Threa....... it's Randy? Fuck, gonna go clean out my cat box.

[el bobbo]

Ha. The two heels are ripping each other apart. All of it is true.

[Savio]

Bats and RKO both making valid points.

[el bobbo]

Batista sounds like he has a mouth full of shit.

[ClockShot]

Seriously, get Flair out here.

[Droford]

HHH is shooting

[Corndad]

H is going in.

[Droford]

Haha

[ClockShot]

Well that changes things.

For better or worse is to be decided.

[Jaded-Dragon]

TPWW SIGN!

[el bobbo]

What if Triple H buries Bryan then goes onto bury Orton and Batista?

[Fenix122]

Spoiler: H wins

[Dark One]

I feel like the only way they could top the crowd backlash for Orton vs. Batista would be to make it Orton vs. Batista vs. HHH.

[Shadrick]

\_0__/

[Savio]

HHH wins in 17 seconds

[ClockShot]

Cena responds to the Wyatts, again?

[KIRA]

Triple H sounds like hes about to blow a gasket

In the unlikely event that Triple H goes into the triple threat the IWC will have to be placed on suicide watch.

[VSG]

Calling in a fatal 4 way now! I am sure that segment will bring out the HHH haters out but I liked that segment and can actually see HHH vs Orton vs Batista as well as Bryan vs Orton vs Batista (or that 4 way of course!).

[Shadrick]

If H pedigrees Daniel Bryan, pins him, then goes on to win the title and the show closes with him holding up both belts, the internet would implode.

[Droford]

What if Triple H buries Bryan then goes onto bury Orton and Batista?

HHH gets to be the face if the company that he never was..finally lol

[Lock Jaw]

YESSSSSSS

I kind of want to see Triple H with the title at the end of Mania 30. Would be best for business.

[Jaded-Dragon]

If H pedigrees Daniel Bryan, pins him, then goes on to win the title and the show closes with him holding up both belts, the internet would implode.

I've threatened it before but I would seriously stop watching.

[Fenix122]

Cena responds to the Wyatts responding to Cena responding to the Wyatts...

[VSG]

YESSSSSSS

I kind of want to see Triple H with the title at the end of Mania 30. Would be best for business.

Kinda with you on that, Evolution imploding would be nice.

[Heisenberg]

Woo TPWW 4 life

[slik]

BREAKING NEWS:

tpww poster MVP is not participating in this thread.

:(

[ClockShot]

Yeah, Dave.

Big mistake coming back here.

[Theo Dious]

And Triple H successfully trolls a universe full of smarks. Love it.

[Droford]

Bootista leaving lol

Must have plans

[Dark One]

I suspect tonight may finally be the start of the Real Americans' Civil War.

[Droford]

I suspect tonight may finally be the start of the Real Americans' Civil War.

They should have a flag match at WM

[Swiss Ultimate]

Into this so far.

[KIRA]

Everything about Batista is a failure his weird baby head,his long awaited return, his decision to wear clothes purchased from the boys isle all of it.

I love it.

[Swiss Ultimate]

"Bryan and HHH both had their shoulders down, King!"
"What's this mean for the main-event?"
"Four-way match!"

[Swiss Ultimate]

Everything about Batista is a failure his weird baby head,his long awaited return his decision to wear clothes purchased from the boys isle all of it.

Batista looks fantastic.

[Savio]

I would have bet 1,000 on Taker and Daniel winning out but now I am unsure with this possibility for a 4-way

[ClockShot]

Nice.

[Corndad]

Really. lol So much for the break up this week. Kinda like the surprise win.

[Droford]

Four corner tag match at wm?

[Lock Jaw]

TOASTY!!

[Savio]

Expecting an H-berg run-in dropkick by the end of the night.

[KIRA]

LMAO there are no words.

[Droford]

What..the..hell

[ClockShot]

That looks horribly bad.

[VSG]

Oh god that Slamcity thing looks so bad.

[FourFifty]

....what was that? Slam City? Did my TV just throw up?

[Dark One]

Really. lol So much for the break up this week. Kinda like the surprise win.


The Uppercut does what The Uppercut wants, logic or foreshadowing be damned.

[Swiss Ultimate]

For everyone who thinks this Slam City show looks horrible, congratulations you're no 6-12 years old.

[Lock Jaw]

Slam City needs more Christian

[Lock Jaw]

RAW needs more Christian

[Lock Jaw]

Is Kane's name officially Corporate Kane? Michael Cole seems to consistently call him Korporate Kane now.

[ClockShot]

'Swog's still employed?

Who knew?

[Krimzon7]

Triple H sounds like hes about to blow a gasket

In the unlikely event that Triple H goes into the triple threat the IWC will have to be placed on suicide watch.

In the event he DOESN'T James Steele will be placed on suicide watch. I'll take the first ten shifts.

[Swiss Ultimate]

I am really liking Dean Ambrose. WTF? Great facial expressions, got a cool crazy vibe to him.

[ClockShot]

BARRETT'S BACK!

[Droford]

They never did release that leprechaun remake

[Savio]

Slam City needs more Christian
He will be fired soon enough.

[Lock Jaw]

Hornswoggle's hair frightens me

[VSG]

Hornswoggle has a receding hairline.

[Lock Jaw]

Sheamus should Brogue kick the podium down

[Swiss Ultimate]

Was this a below-average bit of "bad news"?

[Dark One]

Hornswoggle's hair frightens me

Hornswoggle's hair is the new King's shirt.

[Shadrick]

Barrett looked so happy to be delivering bad news.

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>I want them to just not lower the podium, forcing Barrett to awkwardly stand there all night.</font>

[Swiss Ultimate]

Yeah, but it wasn't really funny or insightful. The gimmick looks like it has the potential to be fun, but was this the typical segment?

[Dark One]

Well, the result of this one is greatly in doubt. Thank God Christian's here.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

WE THE PEOPLE!

[ClockShot]

Calling b.s. on Slam City being the #1 twitter trend.

Unless everybody on twitter is bashing it.

[Lock Jaw]

Christian should win the Andre the Giant Battle Royale if he is going to be wasted in it.

[Droford]

Hornswoggle vs El Torito at WM

[KIRA]

Christians on fire!

[FourFifty]

Tidus is beating up a midget.
#BeAStar

[Droford]

Swoggling ram

[el bobbo]

http://i40.tinypic.com/29nc6fo.png

[Shadrick]

Lol Christian is killing JBL

[Swiss Ultimate]

I am liking Christian on commentary as the delusional heel what a smart mouth.

[Savio]

Christian is pretty damn funny on commentary.

[Lock Jaw]

Renee looking good tonight

[ClockShot]

Where'd Nattie's evil twin come from?

[Swiss Ultimate]

Calling b.s. on Slam City being the #1 twitter trend.

Unless everybody on twitter is bashing it.

Nope, it's #1.

[Dark One]

I'd like to strongly suggest that Raw's three man booth be switched to Christian, Christian, and Christian.

[Lock Jaw]

Christian so damn good

[Swiss Ultimate]

Strong episode.

[Swiss Ultimate]

Can I remind everyone that this is primarily a kids show still?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Midcard fued Christian and Sheamus will be settled in a battle royal haha.

[Savio]

TNA stars pretty much live the life of Slam City

[Lock Jaw]

AHNOLD

[Droford]

Arnold lol

[ClockShot]

Schwartzenegger, eh.

[Lock Jaw]

AHNOLD AND SCOOBY DOO

[Corndad]

Arnold doing the Yes! LOL

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Arnold and Brad from How I Met Your Mother.

[Krimzon7]

short man with long hair? I'm watching on a bit of a delay, so bear with me.

I've got some bad news...barrett will prob never wrestle in the WWE again

[Droford]

I still want the muppets back

[Lock Jaw]

Time for Cena to tell some jokes

[dronepool]

RAW is 3 miles away from me. Sort of tempted to get tickets if they have any tomorrow. But TM looks out.

[KIRA]

Can I remind everyone that this is primarily a kids show still?


Kids shows don't have to be awful.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Cena is a scurredy cat.

[Lock Jaw]

Oh, Cena is deciding to take Bray seriously this week. After cracking jokes about him last week.

[ClockShot]

So Superman does has his kryptonite.

[KIRA]

Cena giving PSA

[Corndad]

Love Bray.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

"My childhood my dad took away my lemonade money because I didn't pay my fair share!"

[KIRA]

Holy shit Wyatt

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Oh shit Nikki.

[ClockShot]

That was a shot across the bow.

[Shadrick]

Bray Wyatt is an amazing character.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

More like silicon girlfriend though Bray.

[Swiss Ultimate]

Looking forward to Cena and Wyatt.

[BigCrippyZ]

Just when you think Bray can't get any better.

[Swiss Ultimate]

Kids shows don't have to be awful.

Most of them are, especially when targeted and younger kids.

Not every kids show is going to be Adventure Time or TMNT

[Lock Jaw]

http://i.imgur.com/sKaIjak.gif

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Most of them are, especially when targeted and younger kids.

Not every kids show is going to be Adventure Time or TMNT

80s version or today's version?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Well, I think I would have tried harder to make Psych not want to end after seeing that commercial.

[slik]

Heisenseats via facebook

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(shared via his blessing)

[ClockShot]

No DQ. Someone's gonna make a run-in.

[Droford]

Bootista will interfere after having "left" earlier

[Savio]

"My childhood my dad took away my lemonade money because I didn't pay my fair share!"
hmm?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

really? IRS is Bray's dad.

[ClockShot]

:rofl:

The random kendo stick.

[Droford]

Who is randy yelling at

[Swiss Ultimate]

Never thought I'd be this into a match with Orton. Really good match so far.

[Swiss Ultimate]

80s version or today's version?

I watched the new one with my kids and it wasn't bad. But, I'm going nostalgic, personally with the 80s-90s version.

[Swiss Ultimate]

:rofl:

The random kendo stick.

Not really that random for a No DQ match.

Last week they called it the Singapore Cane, wonder if JBL got scolded for that.

[Krimzon7]

holy holy hell...bray delivers everytime. EACH AND EVERY TIME.

I love you DTTS.

[Savio]

really? IRS is Bray's dad.oooohhh i see

[Savio]

Looks like there is a tasty gatorade under the ring.

[Swiss Ultimate]

Get the dick out of your mouth, JBL.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Where has the Main Event Playa Brodus Clay been?

[Lock Jaw]

Kendo Sticks seem like a weird item to store under the ring. Tables, Ladders, Chairs... I can see the "logic" behind them being there.... but who is the guy who leaves Kendo Sticks under there?

There should be a storyline where they reveal a member of the ring crew is heavy into Kendo, and is now enraged and out for revenge because people keep breaking his Kendo sticks that he keeps storing under the ring.

[Droford]

Kicking and sticking

[Corndad]

AHNOLD AND SCOOBY DOO

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bi-OlDmCMAEfNtA.jpg

[Droford]

You don't say..

[Swiss Ultimate]

holy holy hell...bray delivers everytime. EACH AND EVERY TIME.

I love you DTTS.

I love you too, bro.

What a fucking amazing match between Bryan and Orton. Just fantastic.

[Droford]

Lol 1 more time chant

[ClockShot]

So, what are we looking at for a main event tonight?

[Dark One]

Kendo Sticks seem like a weird item to store under the ring. Tables, Ladders, Chairs... I can see the "logic" behind them being there.... but who is the guy who leaves Kendo Sticks under there?

There should be a storyline where they reveal a member of the ring crew is heavy into Kendo, and is now enraged and out for revenge because people keep breaking his Kendo sticks that he keeps storing under the ring.

That ring crew member?

http://img78.imageshack.us/img78/8403/blackmanan7.jpg

[Corndad]

So, what are we looking at for a main event tonight?

Was just thinking same thing. Maybe H puts Batista in a match? I figured Taker/Brock stuff would be but looks like that is next.

Maybe the HHH calling out Bryan deal?

[Savio]

So, what are we looking at for a main event tonight?
JTG vs Zack Ryder

[ClockShot]

JTG vs Zack Ryder

Loser leaves New York match?

[Swiss Ultimate]

PAUL!

[Krimzon7]

ugh, vidoe junket...

[Lock Jaw]

CM Punk conspicuously absent from that vid package. Must have walked out.

[slik]

Awesome video

[Krimzon7]

Hate the Kimura out of the guard. He should start slapping that shit on from the various positions you can slap a kimura in...reverse an irish whip, KIMURA! powerslam, float over, KIMURA! How fucking awesome would Brock look if he reall became a bad ass submission machine?

[Savio]

Steph is a man?

[Lock Jaw]

You have disrespected me. You have disrespected my family.

[Savio]

HHH is on the road now....

[Swiss Ultimate]

How is he not on the road as COO?

[Savio]

She took Jojos job

[Krimzon7]

Ugh here comes stupid ass fucking emma...thank GOD...Golddust instead. Didn't want her on my screen wasting ring time.

[Swiss Ultimate]

CM Punk conspicuously absent from that vid package. Must have walked out.

Don't worry, he'll be there at Mania. As JBL said, all streaks are meant to be broken.

Except Chuck Norris' streak as Karate World Champion, he retired undefeated.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Fandango will enter the 30 man dance at WrestleMania. Losing a Battle Royal doesn't mean you aren't still undefeated at WrestleMania.

[Droford]

Ugh here comes stupid ass fucking emma...

Nope..unless she comes out with Goldust

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>JBL accidentally outed himself as the Cranky Vince Twitter account tonight</font>

[Lock Jaw]

Ugh here comes stupid ass fucking emma...

Santino in for more than he bargained for....

[ClockShot]

Dunno if I'm gonna make it to 11 if we're in garbage time right now.

Although, this Shield/Kane stuff could keep my attention if it's coming up soon.

[Lock Jaw]

Goldust pissed off

[Savio]

JBL accidentally outed himself as the Cranky Vince Twitter account tonight
how so?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

That kid grabbing tit for that Wendy's commercial. :y:

[Swiss Ultimate]

HHH is on the road now....

How is he not on the road as COO?

:yes:

[Purgatory]

Heisenseats via facebook

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Already a bigger crowd than TNA's Lockdown PPV.

[Corndad]

Undertaker on Main Event LOL

[Lock Jaw]

Wasting Taker on Main Event

[Lock Jaw]

Cole making sure to call Corporate Kane "half brother" of Undertaker instead of just "brother" like they normall do.

[ClockShot]

HA! King was in on Occupy Raw.

RUH-ROH!

[Fenix122]

Lol JBL...good luck king!

[Dark One]

Let's be honest, this is really punishment for that shirt.

[Savio]

Roman face turn?

[slik]

Shield mega-face turn?

[Lock Jaw]

King needs to fake a heart attack right about now

[ClockShot]

I :heart: The Shield.

[Corndad]

Shield face turnish?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

OH SHIT

[ClockShot]

Yard..........retaken.

[Lock Jaw]

If the whole "dissension within the Shield" leads to a unified tweener Shield than I am all for it.

[Corndad]

Shield vs Kane in some sort of 6 man at Mania would be sweet.

[Shadrick]

Relax.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Kane, Harper, Rowan Vs. The Shield at WrestleMania 30.

[Shadrick]

lmao im lolin at Cole tellin JBL "relax"

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Whoever decided The Shield shouldn't break up yet deserves a big raise.</font>

[Corndad]

Really... Interesting...

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Last heard...The Shield vs Kane &amp; The Ascension (NXT tag champs) at WrestleMania <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23WWE&amp;src=hash">#WWE</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23RAW&amp;src=hash">#RAW</a></p>&mdash; Justin LaBar (@JustinLaBar) <a href="https://twitter.com/JustinLaBar/statuses/445721353468256256">March 18, 2014</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[teamXtremist]

Lol ascension

[Lock Jaw]

Look, it's AJ Lee wrestling in a tag team match! Guarantee that she gets pinned.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Aksana Vs. Naomi Blind Fold Match At WrestleMania....access.

[Swiss Ultimate]

Great...womens wrestling, great way to kill the momentum.

[ClockShot]

Triple H, Daniel Bryan, Man-to-Man chat, the main event.

Yeah, think I'll turn in for the night.

[el bobbo]

I just listened to the Bellas on commentary for about 3 minutes. Kind of blacked out there.

[Savio]

dat ass

[Swiss Ultimate]

I said this before and you guys might have thought I was joking, but they need to attach these women to male wrestlers with nothing going on story-wise. I don't want to see women wrestling unless a) it's got something to do with some of the male wrestlers or b) it's for the title.

[Corndad]

I just listened to the Bellas on commentary for about 3 minutes. Kind of blacked out there.

Anything else in the world > Bellas on commentary > Cameron wrestling

[Swiss Ultimate]

Hell, even the title, I don't want to see it.

[Lock Jaw]

What a jobber

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Series finale already :( Psych :(

[Lock Jaw]

Tamina and AJ should "make out"

[Corndad]

AJ. vs Tamina would be like one of the few Divas matches at Mania I would actually like to see but the chance of that is quite slim

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Nope Cole is wrong next week is the series finale.

[Corndad]

Bout freakin time for this.

[Corndad]

Hogan gotta induct him or no Dice.

[Swiss Ultimate]

Turning Shield face/tweener really works out well I think.
I look forward to Kane turning face and becoming the Big Red Machine again after Lesnar, Punk and Heyman end Undertaker's streak. Will set up an epic tag match at the next PPV.

[Savio]

I understand him not being in chicago, but why not there tonight?

[Lock Jaw]

Andre the Giant Battle Royal... have a graphic of Hulk Hogan beside it

[Swiss Ultimate]

Punk? To swerve the online community. Make them think it's really over. I could see Punk showing up at HOF to induct Warrior though.

[slik]

Can't think of any reason why Big Show would be compared to Andre The Giant since the beginning of his career.

Nope, no reason. None at all.

[Lock Jaw]

Ziggler with some good dropkicks. Heisenberg must be pleased.

[Swiss Ultimate]

Anyone seen H-berg?

[slik]

RoXer claims to have many times in casual

[Swiss Ultimate]

Sweet.

[Swiss Ultimate]

I am waiting for him to run-in and dropkick a motherfucker.

[Corndad]

Anyone seen H-berg?

With TPWW Sign strong. Especially in the first segment.

[Swiss Ultimate]

Where in the crowd, wanna see him.

[Savio]

He's wearing an nWo shirt

[Fenix122]

Just saw the TPWW sign

[Swiss Ultimate]

Big ears.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Eninem.

[Dark One]

Man, WWE Production staff bringing the good stuff this week.

[Savio]

Good promo, is this song on Ems latest album?

[tman220]

yes

[BigCrippyZ]

I really wish Steph would take a page from H's book and need to get something off her chest. Specifically her bra. :naughty: