WWE Raw 5/5 Thread featuring Bray's creepy kid follower, US title battle royale, and no Jack Bauer

[Emperor Smeat]

http://www.wwe.com/f/wysiwyg/image/2014/05/20140505_LIGHT_5ptPreview_dean_C-home.jpg

WWE’s Extreme holiday has come and gone, but the WWE Universe will feel the reverberations of Extreme Rules 2014 for some time, as Daniel Bryan retained his illustrious WWE World Heavyweight Championship in a brutal battle against Kane, The Shield put a halt to Evolution, The New Face of Fear wore a wide, wicked smile, and a new Intercontinental Champion was crowned.

Per The Authority, The Shield’s Dean Ambrose will defend his United States Championship in a 20-Man Battle Royal tonight on Raw. What else awaits the WWE Universe?

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Tune in to find out if Little Johnny was a real thing or one of those internet hoaxes <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23RAWTonight&amp;src=hash">#RAWTonight</a></p>&mdash; WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) <a href="https://twitter.com/WWECreative_ish/statuses/463392685643280388">May 5, 2014</a></blockquote>
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[ClockShot]

My thread title and show preview are better than yours.

But you posted it first. Curse you, Smelly!

[Corndad]

Battle Royals are always fun. Also would be a way to get the title off of Ambrose without him actually "losing" a match and losing steam if they wanted to go that route. The title isn't being defended enough so maybe be a way to get on someone else.

[Cool King]

I love Battle Royals, even more so when a title is on the line.

If Ambrose does lose, then hopefully the next Champion will be a good one. A few scenarios are running through my head but I doubt any of them will actually happen.

This should be a good Raw.

[Cool King]

Also, thankfully Adam Rose is debuting tonight, so no more annoying (in my opinion) vignettes and I can actually see what he's all about, then form an opinion on him.

[ClockShot]

Oh yeah, Russell Brand debuts tonight.

Think that tour bus can make it inside the arena? Probably a bitch to back out.

[VSG]

Adam Rose is clearly winning the US title on debut.

[Cool King]

Adam Rose is clearly winning the US title on debut.

That was one of the scenarios I had running through my head.

[rockman725]

Oh yeah, Booker callin' Brie out as a money whore gold digger...now can you dig that sucka!?!

[Mercenary]

So glad when Batista leaves.

[Mercenary]

Oh please Kickstart doesn't give you that much energy

[Corndad]

Apparently the one Midget got Heat for posting this picture of Cena and Wyatt planning their match last night lol

http://www.pwmania.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/cena-wyatts.jpg

[VSG]

Stop living in the past!!

[Cool King]

Poor guy.

That WeeLC match was great. Really entertaining stuff. It's just a shame it wasn't on the main card and it was just a kick-off match.

I hate that I missed most of it though, as I spent most of the time trying to find a stream that was showing it, as it was a WWE Network exclusive.

[Mercenary]

Apparently the one Midget got Heat for posting this picture of Cena and Wyatt planning their match last night lol

http://www.pwmania.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/cena-wyatts.jpg

Leave Short Sleeve Sampson alone WWE! Just cause this midget has more talent than half of these 2nd gen guys you force down our throats.....

[ClockShot]

That JBL kickin' back with his boots up reading the script?

:lol:

[ClockShot]

Sierra..........Hotel.........India..........Echo...........Lima..........Delta.................SHIE LD!

[Cool King]

The battle Royale is opening the show?

[KaosDarksol]

watching Raw on USA for once... what could be going on. Glad I don't have to deal with those weird commercials.

[Droford]

Ambrose will retain the belt

[Cool King]

20 man. Awesome.

[Mercenary]

Love battle royals. Hate when a title is put on the line in them though. It's a cheap way to get the title off a guy.

[ClockShot]

Getting the Battle Royal out of the way now?

[GD]

Read the most craziest / hilarious Ryan Clark news title ever

MAJOR BACKSTAGE HEAT ON EXTREME RULES MIDGET

http://wrestlingnews.co/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/cena-wyatt-oops.jpg

[Corndad]

Maybe a Sheamus Heel US Title Run?

[Mercenary]

So Woods is a jobber I see?

[Corndad]

What ever happened to Brodus Clay?

[VSG]

lol I see Kofi in there, looking forward to his spot again.

[Emperor Smeat]

What ever happened to Brodus Clay?
Got sent down to NXT

[Droford]

What ever happened to Brodus Clay?

He wrestled Neville for the NXT title last week

[Mercenary]

lol I see Kofi in there, looking forward to his spot again.

That spot is overdone now

[Droford]

Heath slater with an elimination!

[GD]

Heath Slater eliminated Damien Sandow :eek:

[KIRA]

He's a Main Event player if you manage to catch that show

[Cool King]

I get the feeling we'll see an interesting spot from Kofi, like we usually do with these sorts of things.

[GD]

Fuck the WWE app!

[KaosDarksol]

battle royals only really work for vacated titles

[Corndad]

Got sent down to NXT

I was wondering if he was sent down or hurt. Haven't got to watch NXT since the Arrival PPV deal. Makes sense though. He needed a reboot bad.

[Droford]

lol I see Kofi in there, looking forward to his spot again.
Maybe just for once they'll let him win one without a trademark Kofi spot

[Cool King]

Sheamus taking charge with those elimination of Big Show and Mark Henry.

[ClockShot]

Meh. No big thing from Kofi this time around.

[Mercenary]

good no Kofi spot

[Cool King]

I would really love to see Swagger as US Champion.

[ClockShot]

Dolph Ziggler didn't deserve that.

[Droford]

Rybaxel should win the US Title

[KIRA]

Ok who in that ring needs the U.S. title

[Crimson]

I guess Sheamus is winning

[Cool King]

Damn, Swagger is out. :(

[el bobbo]

Sheamus heel turn?

[Droford]

Sheamus vs Bad News unification match

[KaosDarksol]

guess sheamus isn't getting punished for falling asleep during the ppv

[ClockShot]

Awwwwwwww fuck. Couldn't let Ambrose have the full year. Couldn't ya, creative?

[Mercenary]

Ugh you give the title to this fuck tard

[Corndad]

Like I said a US Title Heel run might be what Sheamus needs to be relevant again.

[Cool King]

Hmm, Sheamus wins. :-\

I dunno. I kind of hope this leads to a heel turn.

[el bobbo]

Fuck. Open up wide for a spoonful of Sheamus down our throats.

[rockman725]

So the man falls asleep during last night's broadcast & tonight he gets a belt. Hmm...

[slik]

Damn it.

Hate Sheamus.

[KIRA]

The US title will now warm Sheamus midsection for 3 yrs

[Corndad]

Wyatts vs Shield. NICE.

[ClockShot]

Shield vs. Wyatts.

Yes, please.

[owenbrown]

Where the fuck is Vince McMahon?

[ClockShot]

Bet Cena will have some involvement in that match.

[Droford]

The bearded Crusader

[Emperor Smeat]

Battle Royale was good.

:y: Wyatts vs Shield later

[KaosDarksol]

Where the fuck is Vince McMahon?

he blew up in a limo...

[Droford]

Choo Choo?

[KaosDarksol]

mostly watching raw to see what they do with adam rose

[ClockShot]

Remember when Brodus Clay was supposed to debut. And they pushed it back like........3 weeks?

I wonder if Adam Rose gets the same treatment tonight?

[Cool King]

Swan Dive.

[Cool King]

Is Kane's name now "The Demon Kane" or something?

He's been getting referred to as "The Demon Kane" a lot recently and hardly as just "Kane".

[Kris P Lettus]

LOL @ Kanes wig

[Kris P Lettus]

Sorry

LOL @ The Demon Kanes wig

[Kris P Lettus]

The Demon Kane Knight

[Cool King]

"Notable Nominees"

More like "Looks at these big names that we beat!"

[ClockShot]

AIR RAID!

[Cool King]

Ouch, RVD's eye looks painful from smacking that trash can last night.

[Droford]

The king of Extreme?

[Crimson]

I don't like your attitude!

[Mercenary]

So glad Ceasaro is a damn billboard for part timer Brock Lesner so glad........

[Kris P Lettus]

Haha I haven't watched wrestling since the RAW after WM 30 and Heyman is still talking about Lesnar ending the streak

:love:

[Cool King]

Michael Cole trying to make the siren in Cesaro's theme actually mean something.

[Heisenberg]

Haha I haven't watched wrestling since the RAW after WM 30 and Heyman is still talking about Lesnar ending the streak

:love:

Dude what's up??

[Heisenberg]

Hey everybody

[Kris P Lettus]

I want to see a Sabu run in

[Corndad]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Sheamus' impending heel turn robs he and RVD of the chance to team as Baked Potato. <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23wwe&amp;src=hash">#wwe</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23raw&amp;src=hash">#raw</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/TNACreative">@TNACreative</a></p>&mdash; Justin Henry (@JRHWriting) <a href="https://twitter.com/JRHWriting/statuses/463477220766654464">May 6, 2014</a></blockquote>
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[Kris P Lettus]

Dude what's up??

Hey YO

[Kris P Lettus]

Heisenberg, you have a doppelganger in the second tier on the "hero" side of the arena

[dronepool]

I hope for RVD vs Danel Bryan one day.

[KaosDarksol]

couldn't this match have ended during the commercial

[Kris P Lettus]

I hope to get blazed with RVD one day

[Mercenary]

LOL the WWE tv ad just called Bangor BANG ER, and the fact that they are doing dual shows in Maine....yeah glad I go to the one in Boston the day after. That will be the better show by far

[Droford]

His flying uppercut should be called the Swiss Missile

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

I hope to get blazed with RVD one day
Shoot for the stars.

[Kris P Lettus]

It's the move of a wiley vet to tie yrself to the tree of woe

[ClockShot]

Wasn't expecting this ending.

[Crimson]

I like this result. Show a Cesaro dark side no need for victory

[KaosDarksol]

looks like rvd got some bad weed

[ClockShot]

Desperate for subscribers if they're giving away gift cards if you "tell a friend".

[Cool King]

lol JBL.

[KaosDarksol]

six man tag already?

[Mercenary]

Legends House for some reason has made me hate Pat Patterson for some reason. He just comes off so unlikable

[Kris P Lettus]

Stop being homophobic Mercenary

[Kris P Lettus]

Bray Wyatt's Moose Knuckle

[Droford]

So Bray's about to get his ass kicked and wig split by Mark Henry?

[Mercenary]

Stop being homophobic Mercenary

Nah it isn't cause he is gay, and the fact you assume that is funny

[Droford]

Little Johnny is Cena and Nicky's child from the future

[Cool King]

Wouldn't mind seeing that kid sing "Ol' Man River".

He certainly has the voice for it.

[Droford]

I wanna see Bryan vs Bray 2 for the Title..stupid Cena ruining everything

[KIRA]

Bray for president

[Droford]

Hey kids....Bray Wyatt's your new Daddy

[owenbrown]

holy shit

[Razzamajazz]

bray wyatt made my power go out for a few minutes

[KIRA]

Harper has the most soulless stare I love it

[Corndad]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>keep doing your thing <a href="https://twitter.com/WWEUniverse">@WWEUniverse</a> you're the reason I do this</p>&mdash; Dolph Ziggler (@HEELZiggler) <a href="https://twitter.com/HEELZiggler/statuses/463483775171973120">May 6, 2014</a></blockquote>
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What else can you say after Santino Eliminates you from a Battle Royal? :(

[Kris P Lettus]

F U a-hole

Santino is God

[Droford]

I'm going to Raw again in DC on June 23rd

2 raws in 3 months..had to pay for the ticket this time

[Mercenary]

I'm going to Raw again in DC on June 23rd

2 raws in 3 months..had to pay for the ticket this time

Nice I'm going to MITB, and didn't have to pay for my tickets this time.

[Heisenberg]

Cody performed a dropkick!!!!

[ClockShot]

I don't think that pole moved an inch.

[Mercenary]

Really Golddust being pushed into the post cost that much force to make Cody lose his balance

[Cool King]

The Demon Kane.

[Savio]

"Where to brie? Hahahahaha"

[Heisenberg]

Devastating commercial break!!

[Droford]

They should do a divorce angle

[rockman725]

"Where to brie? Hahahahaha"

WWE Creative: "But...but...that was 15 years ago! Nobody will remember that, right?"

[ClockShot]

PINATA ON A POLE MATCH!

I expected this segment with Del Rio. Not Primo and Epico.

[Cool King]

WWE Jew-niverse

[el bobbo]

is this racist?

[Mercenary]

Man I hate these matadors so fucking much

[Razzamajazz]

omg this is so racist i'm offened ima write a letter to linda mcmahon

[Dark One]

Did somebody say Cinco de Mayo?


http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs3/1267216_o.gif

http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs1/1257909_o.gif

http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs3/1257897_o.gif

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[tman220]

Adam Rose time?

[Corndad]

Why is this taking time on Raw and not like Main Event or something?

[Mercenary]

Party they say? So Adam Rose debut during this?

[Cool King]

The crowd chanting USA, even though out of the seven characters that are in the ring, only one is American and he's a heel.

[Savio]

lol JBL

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol:

[Jura]

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/09/06/article-0-14DF934C000005DC-516_468x314.jpg

[Crimson]

Lol no crowd reaction

[Savio]

The crowd chanting USA, even though out of the seven characters that are in the ring, only one is American and he's a heel.
Obvisouly they were chanting for Slater

[Kris P Lettus]

I think the little bull is Bob Backlund

[Sepholio]

Rose debut at the party maybe?

[Mercenary]

Lol no crowd reaction


Well yeah that was horrible

[KIRA]

God Vince is worse than George Lucas when it comes to trying to be funny

[Cool King]

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/09/06/article-0-14DF934C000005DC-516_468x314.jpg

I love that Kane dresses like a dad when he's not in the ring.

[Kris P Lettus]

Pleated jean shorts

[Fenix122]

BOLIEVE

[Mercenary]

I Bolieve do you?

[el bobbo]

#BoTime

[Razzamajazz]

dat ass

[Fenix122]

HOORAY...Lana

[Corndad]

I like Blue.

[ClockShot]

Kofi vs. Kozlov.

2 minutes tops?

[Crimson]

Hot Russian alert

[ClockShot]

Ehhhhhhh. Might be crossing some lines with Putin, Vince.

Tread lightly.

[el bobbo]

#CheapHeat

[Crimson]

What the hell is she blabbering about

[Savio]

Can't wait until Lana is Putin her place.

:shifty:

[KIRA]

piss break

[Razzamajazz]

her speech needs more iron sheik

[Dark One]

http://i0.wp.com/topekasnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Ioe3KfF.gif

[Cool King]

Oh look, another superstar that's lost their first name.

[ClockShot]

So, we went from Bulgarian with Alexander attached to just Rusev from Russia in a matter of a few weeks.

Didn't take long.

[Cool King]

That old guy checking out Lana's ass. :lol:

[Savio]

Why does Rusev only beat up black people?

[Razzamajazz]

iran numbah one. russia numbah one. usa hock-too!

[KaosDarksol]

well they dropped alexander pretty fast they should start a stable with Cesaro Big E and Rusev and call the the name drops

[KIRA]

And Kofi continues to job ts those fucking long tights I know it.

[Droford]

Rusev hates black people obviously

[Jura]

http://www.rantsports.com/clubhouse/files/2014/04/3-Twitter.jpg
http://www.rantsports.com/clubhouse/files/2014/04/11-Twitter.jpg
http://www.rantsports.com/clubhouse/files/2014/04/7-Twitter1.jpg
http://oi57.tinypic.com/311xpc4.jpg

[Emperor Smeat]

So, we went from Bulgarian with Alexander attached to just Rusev from Russia in a matter of a few weeks.

Didn't take long.

Also lost the Nyemanya stuff from Lana.

[Kris P Lettus]

Sambo Sumo Muay Thai

[Savio]

They waited a long time for that car.

[Razzamajazz]

camera in the back seat

[Mercenary]

Save the Bella. Save the World?

[ClockShot]

He's in the car, or trunk, or underneath the hood.

[KIRA]

Why are they throwing Netflix under the bus?

[Savio]

OMG that was terrible

[Savio]

This whole thing is absolutely stupid

[ron the dial]

this kane shit is hilariously embarassing

[KIRA]

Also lost the Nyemanya stuff from Lana. I'm thankful for that it made my ears bleed.

[Savio]

Brie I guess doesn't know how to drive.

[Razzamajazz]

over 4 hours of extra content including the hof. well that's 3 1/2 hours right there

[Mercenary]

Why are they throwing Netflix under the bus?


But better....yeah Netflix doesn't freeze or rewind on it's own.

[Savio]

Jimmy Cones do not show your girlfriend that last segment

[Dark One]

over 4 hours of extra content including the hof. well that's 3 1/2 hours right there


Over 4* hours of extra content!
*Not including 3 hours of Mr. T's mother.

[ClockShot]

Here's Del Rio. He missed the party, poor guy.

[Cool King]

this kane shit is hilariously embarassing

You've got to feel sorry for Kane. It's like the majority of things he's involved with are somewhat embarrassing and hard to watch.

I remember his feud with Edge was pretty bad too. Some of the segments during that were like they belonged in a Looney Tunes cartoon.

And I'm sure none of us can ever forget Katie Vick.

[Droford]

camera in the back seat
Considering they've been followed around by cameras for a year and a half its of that wierd

[Jura]

Django Bryan

[Droford]

Cinco del Rio sounds like a poker term

[Corndad]

Just realized May 19th is in 2 Mondays. This Kane stuff isn't going away lol

[Corndad]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Grandpa's eyes aren't watching the match! <a href="http://t.co/vqGtybmwCt">pic.twitter.com/vqGtybmwCt</a></p>&mdash; Powerbomb Jutsu (@PowerbombJutsu) <a href="https://twitter.com/PowerbombJutsu/statuses/463496067242545154">May 6, 2014</a></blockquote>
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[Jura]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Grandpa's eyes aren't watching the match! <a href="http://t.co/vqGtybmwCt">pic.twitter.com/vqGtybmwCt</a></p>&mdash; Powerbomb Jutsu (@PowerbombJutsu) <a href="https://twitter.com/PowerbombJutsu/statuses/463496067242545154">May 6, 2014</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
Almost all those eyes are on Lana, even the girl.

[Cool King]

Has Del Rio ever tapped out before?

I don't think I've ever seen him tap out.

[KIRA]

You don't see when they had to wheel gramps out due to his prapism

[Dark One]

Better hope he doesn't have to change a tire.

[Savio]

You have to turn the key daniel

[KIRA]

......well put The Oscar back in the box

No Brie no

[ron the dial]

lol sooooo bad

[ClockShot]

BACK OVER HIM!

[Kris P Lettus]

Lol the worst

[el bobbo]

this is funny.

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>That was embarrassing.</font>

[Kris P Lettus]

Is Vince Russo writing this

[Cool King]

The way Kane landed after falling off the car made no sense.

[ron the dial]

it's entertaining in the so bad it's good way. but still bad lol.

[Mercenary]

Brie is awful at this just saying

[Dark One]

I think whomever keeps coming up with the idea to mix car trouble and a Kane-ambush should probably not be invited to meetings any more.

[Kris P Lettus]

Brie is awful at this just saying

So the one problem you have with this angle is the hotttttttt girl

Oooooooooooooookay

[Malfeitor]

Jesus fucking Christ that was horrible.

[Droford]

See No Evil 2: the match

[Dark One]

They really should have swerved us, and when Bryan lowered the hood...

"MY CLIENT BROCK LESNAR..." Paul Heyman should have been sitting in the back seat.

[tman220]

so no Adam Rose?

[slik]

I legit lol'd during that segment. Brie's screaming was the best, er, worst.

[Cool King]

so no Adam Rose?

We still have about half an hour for him to debut.

I think he might be next.

[ron the dial]

let's recap that trash!

[Emperor Smeat]

Brie's screaming might be the worst I've ever heard. Laughed way too much at it.

[KIRA]

Really a replay!

[ClockShot]

Time's running out, Russell Brand.

[Cool King]

It looked more like The Demon Kane was attempting to tickle Brie in the car, rather than grab her.

[Malfeitor]

Just muted my TV during that recap.

[Droford]

It'd be fun if they carried this over in an episode of total divas where they're all paranoid about Kane following them around

[el bobbo]

What a reaction for Big E.

[KIRA]

Look at BNB fireworks and all

[KaosDarksol]

an hour left and we haven't had a Cena Orton or Batista sighting but I doubt we will be seeing Batista for a while

[Mercenary]

So the one problem you have with this angle is the hotttttttt girl

Oooooooooooooookay

So I'm suppose to bitch at every little thing wrong with the angle. I'll leave that to the others as I don't feel like posting qft every time I agree.

[Kris P Lettus]

Deformed slobs

#classicheelheat

[Dark One]

What a reaction for Big E.

http://www.tnastars.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/bfg-2011-arena.jpg

[Cool King]

I get the feeling a "Bad British Teeth" joke is on it's way after Barrett said that.

I'm looking at you Lawler.

[Mercenary]

Brie's screaming might be the worst I've ever heard. Laughed way too much at it.

You can't have a problem with that according to the great Krisp guy

[ron the dial]

kind of feel bad for big e. nothing he does can get a reaction.

[Droford]

Garrett Bischoff could come to WWE as Good News Garrett

[Kris P Lettus]

You can't have a problem with that according to the great Krisp guy

Deformed slob

[ron the dial]

#BangBang

[KIRA]

kind of feel bad for big e. nothing he does can get a reaction.

If he talked the way he Tweets he'd be amazing

[Cool King]

Bang Bang.

[Droford]

There should a midget little E

[ron the dial]

If he talked the way he Tweets he'd be amazing
which is why the fact that he did nothing during his reign blows my mind.

[Mercenary]

Hey Kris P try harder at the insults. They are are way worse than mine, and I'm terrible at them.

[slik]

https://i.imgur.com/RceNWPR.gif

[Cool King]

There should a midget little E

Big E Smalls.

[Cool King]

https://i.imgur.com/RceNWPR.gif

That's a keeper.

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

Nothing Big E. does can get a reaction, most likely because he's not been given anything to do.

[DrCrawford]

They need to stop with the Kane being a demon shit. Doesn't work anymore it is cringeworthy.

Also, loved Barrett with the deformed slobs line. Perfect.

[RVDmark]

FUCK YOU JBL, I HAD DVR'D THE SNOOKER.

[Jura]

https://i.imgur.com/RceNWPR.gif
OMG why did that fan attack the WWF wrasslers>?

[Droford]

Mr T!

[Mercenary]

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooo!