Michael Bay set for live-action "Dora The Explorer" (2019)

[slik]

You can't make this shit up:

http://collider.com/dora-the-explorer-movie-michael-bay/



What a world we live in. What a time to be alive. Michael Bay will be producing a live-action "Dora The Explorer" and possibly direct as well. While story details are being kept under wraps, the live-action film will reportedly center on a teenage Dora, who moves to the city to live with her cousin Diego. Paramount is keen on the project and eyeing a 2019 release date, which means the wheels should start spinning on this one pretty fast.


Dora the Explorer ran on Nickelodeon from 2000 to 2014, following the adventures of a bilingual American Latina and her monkey, Boots, as they solved puzzles and riddles.

[owenbrown]

*checks calendar*

*sees it's October 23rd not April 1st*

FUCK THIS PLANET

[Destor]

I hope its like tomb raider for preteens

[Kalyx triaD]

That would be the safest take. Other than that I can't imagine how this came to be.

Probably gonna be better than Avatar, tho.

[KIRA]

We don't deserve to survive as a species when is that fucking asteroid gonna get here

I'm scared knowing how Bay normally handles members of the opposite sex in his films this could get real disturbing.

[Sepholio]

What kind of car does Dora transform into?

[Droford]

A Ford Explorer

[Kalyx triaD]

I'm thinking Lil JLo from TF5 will be Dora.

Bay's characterization of females characters do stay pretty, but they honestly do more in regard to plot than people think, no matter how silly the plots are.

[Lock Jaw]

Maybe he thought it was called Dora the Explosion

[Juan]

Can’t wait to not watch this :y:

[Tom Guycott]

Gritty reboot.

Audience participation, but more "Rocky Horror Picture Show" than little kids pointing at the plot device.

Boots will be some sort of giant CGI gorilla. Backpack/Map will be like Stark's Spider-Man suit. Swiper will actually be a human guy.

[Blue Demon]

I wonder how many awkward pauses will be included in this movie.

[Seanny One Ball]

I'll hang on until Ron Howard adapts the "Magic School Bus" or Milos Foreman attempts a gritty Carmen San Diego reboot.

[Danny Electric]

Swiper no swiping .

[Destor]

In this version swiper did 3 tours in iraq

SNIPER NO SNIPING

[Destor]

I recognize that joke was bad but I stand beside it

[Lock Jaw]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/TnpTcrtsN3U" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Destor]

Thats exactly what i had in my head

[Kalyx triaD]

I'd beat.

[Lock Jaw]

I'd beat.

What does this mean

What would you beat

?

[Destor]

Im down to two options

1. His meat
2. That pussy

[Destor]

Eitherway she is underage YOU MONSTER

[Sepholio]

Pedophile triaD

[Sepholio]

Eitherway she is underage YOU MONSTER

She's not any more lol

[Tom Guycott]

I'll hang on until Ron Howard adapts the "Magic School Bus" or Milos Foreman attempts a gritty Carmen San Diego reboot.

I know that was a joke and all, but that I might actually be down for. Make it along the lines of the cartoon, not the game or gameshow, though... even though a Rockapella cameo would be neat. Just have them as bums singing on the street corner around a lighted oil drum somewhere.

[Kalyx triaD]

I would like to have sexual relations with Ariel Winter. Who appears in the youtube video. Because saying I'd have sex with Dora the cartoon child is not a thing I'd do.

[Lock Jaw]

That video is from 5 years ago, she would have still been underage in that.

[Kalyx triaD]

It's not a time travel fuck.

[Destor]

Yeah i get that. I was watchimg ET the other day and was like daaaaaaaaamn id smash drew Barrymore

[Lock Jaw]

Imagine if your penis could go back in time (but just your penis)

[Kalyx triaD]

Hmm...

...I'd fuck up the past for sure.

[Fignuts]

Joan of Arc would get it

[Kalyx triaD]

Yeah she's hot.

[Sepholio]

Brotherhood of the Time Travelling Penis

Coming winter 2018

[Tom Guycott]

Whoa! Whoa! Not too loud! this is a Michael Bay thread after all...

[Droford]

I know that was a joke and all, but that I might actually be down for. Make it along the lines of the cartoon, not the game or gameshow, though... even though a Rockapella cameo would be neat. Just have them as bums singing on the street corner around a lighted oil drum somewhere.
They would need to sing the theme song over the credits at least. I have their CD and still listen to it every now and then.

Also bonus points for Greg Lee cameo.

[Sixx]

Maybe he thought it was called Dora the Explosion

Dora The Exploder

[Tom Guycott]

They would need to sing the theme song over the credits at least. I have their CD and still listen to it every now and then.

Also bonus points for Greg Lee cameo.

Actually, if she hadn't passed, Lynne Thigpen could have been The Chief of ACME. Less gameshow host, more Amanda Waller, though.

Back to Dora... what are the running odds that Bay casts some barely legal chick so she resembles old school Lara Croft with modded Dora clothes?

[Kalyx triaD]

Very little. T5 had kids and his improv style fits with kids involved.

[Swiss Ultimate]

Joan of Arc would get it

Yeah she's hot.

The chick from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure?

[Evil Vito]

Fake news.

Michael Bay is not involved in the movie (http://comicbook.com/movies/2017/10/26/dora-the-explorer-live-action-film-michael-bay-movie/)

[Kalyx triaD]

Quite a few spots reported it but... okay. Lol

[Fignuts]

Well now I'm not interested at all.