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Ogen
07-11-2004, 03:22 PM
Stolen from another message board but its class.

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Trev

My Coke's gone flat, I'm wondering why I got out of Leeds at all. The Mersey mist clouds up my window and I can't see at all.


And even if I could skies I'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall

It reminds me that were not so bad, were not so bad

Dear Wayne
I faxed you but you still aint callin
I left my cell, Moyesey's pager and Bill Kenwright's phone number at the bottom
I sent two contracts off in summer you must not have got em
There probably was a problem with the post office in Portugal or something
Sometimes I scribble '£50,000 a week' to sloppy when I jot it
But anyway what bin up man? How Colleen? If I get a girlfriend
Guess what I'am guna call her.. I'am a name her Waynetta
I read about your uncle Eugene to am sorry
I had a friend ruin my birthday party over some bar that wouldn't serve him
I know you probably hear this every day
But I am your biggest fan
I even got the underground stuff you did with the youth team
I got an office full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the stuff you did with England too those goals were phat
Anyways, I hope Proactive get this to you man, hit me back, just to chat
Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Trev.

Dear Wayne, you still aint called or wrote
I aint mad
I just think its messed up you don't answer back
If you didn't want to talk to me outside Bellefield you didn't have to
But you could have signed a pre contract agreement for Davey
That's our young Scottish manager man
He's only 36 years old
We waited on the Goodison Road for you for four hours and you just said nah
That's pretty awful Wayne, you're like his f*ckin protégé
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more
than Gravesen

I ain't that mad, but I just don't like bein' lied to.
Remember when we met in La Manga, you said if I asked you
You wouldn't leave on a free
See, I'm just like you in a way.
I never liked Uncle Eugene neither
He used to cheat on barman and beat last orders
I can relate to what you're doin' on the pitch
So when I have a crappy day, I drift away and put 'the arsenal game On'
Cause I don't really got much else, so your performances help when I'm depressed.
I even got a tattoo with Colleen's across the chest.

See, everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it in the Daily Star
Franny's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7.
But he don't know you like I know you, Wayne, no one does.
He don't know what it was like for scallies like you growing up.
You've gotta call me man. We'll be the biggest club you'll ever lose.

P.S. You and Marcus Bent should play together too

Dear Mister am to good to call or write my chairman
This will be the last contract I ever send your ass
It's been all pre season and still no word
I don't deserve it
I know you got my last two contracts
I wrote Proactive on them perfect
So this is my cassette am sendin' you I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now. I'm doing 90 on County Rd
Hey Wayne, "I drank a fifth of Coke a Cola, ya dare me to drive?"
You know that song by Billy Marr called 'No other team'
About that guy who sings about the greatest Everton side he ever seen
That's kind of like how this is
Cause that's what we could have been
You could have rescued us from relegation
And all I wanted was that lousy Stretford to give me a call.
I hope you know I ripped all o' your pictures off the wall.
I loved you Wayne, we could have been together. Think about it.
I hope your conscious eats at you and you get dropped without us
See Wayne, {screaming} shut up Tommy, I'm trying to talk
Hey Wayne, that's Radzinski screaming in the trunk.
But I didn't sell him on I just stuck him in the reserves see I ain't like you.
'Cause that way he'll suffer more, and then his career will be over too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now.
Oh dear, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this sh*t out?

Wayne's Response
Dear Trev
I meant to write you sooner but I just bin busy
You said Duncan was close to full fitness how far a long is he?
I am really flattered you would call your girlfriend that
And here's an autograph for Davey
I wrote in on a Coke bottle cap
Sorry I miss you at the training ground
Don't think I did that stit intentionally just to diss you
But Trev what's this stuff you said about getting tacky tattoos too?
I say that stuff just clownin dogg, come on how messed up is up?
And whats that you said about me and Marcus Bent meant to be together
That's like some stuff makes me not want to play for you for ever
I really think you and the fans need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat them better
I just hope this letter reaches you from Manchester in time
I think you will be doin just fine
If you spend a little
Trev, I'am glad I inspire you but why are you so mad
Try to understand that Man United are a part of my plan
I just don't want you to do some crazy ****
I seen this one sh*t on North West Tonight a couple of weeks ago that made me sick
Some Chief Exec was drunk and drove his car over Millar's Bridge
And he had Radzinski in the trunk
For whom Fulham had just bid
And in the car they found a tape but the didn't say who it was too
Come to think of it his name was… Birch… it was you

Damn.

The Outlaw
07-11-2004, 04:28 PM
lol

Cruiserweight 3:16
07-11-2004, 08:38 PM
That is fucking quality... better than most of the crap people post in an attempt to try and be funny (You know who you are!!!!)

toxic rooster
07-13-2004, 11:29 PM
That's classic lad.

Wengerland
07-14-2004, 01:42 PM
hahahaha

good stuff

Oxstar
07-16-2004, 12:29 PM
That fucking kicked ass. Poor Radzinski:D

Kapoutman
07-16-2004, 01:00 PM
I found that really funny.

Wengerland
07-16-2004, 05:30 PM
Trev's resigned now :o