Lara Emily Entertainment Productions Presents: WWE's Flying Circus

[Lara Emily]

Skit #1 The Batista and Friends' Happy Variety Hour

Ric Flair *Wearing his robe and nothing else*: Whoooo hiya Kids, Welcome to Batista and Friends' Happy Variety Hour, and now here's our Happy host Daaaave Batista.


Dave *Warm smile on his face speaking softly*: Hiya kids, won't you come with me to a happy place I call Roidtown


Kids: YAY!!!!!


Dave: We'll start today's show with everyone's favorite game. Questions with Dave.


Kids: YAY!!!!!!

Dave: Who wants to go first? *Looks around and choses a kid named Kenny*

Kenny: Uncie Dave how did you get so big?


Dave: Well little man, *smiles warmly, then begins to sweat and growl* thats none of your fucking business ARRRRRRRR *Demonbombs Kenny*.


Producers: Oh Shit


Vince McMahon: Excellent! Give this guy the World Title


Mother: OMG you killed Kenny


Father: You bastard


Batista: Batista smash, Batista Bash *rips up the set a bit*


Producer: Oh shit Oh shit


Vince: HA HA HA Fuck the world title give this guy a Nobel Prize.

Batista *calming down just like that and smiles warmly again*: Now kids we have a special guest for today's show and he's going to show you how to hold down people and make sure they never threaten your spot in the world. Please welcome your friend and mine. Uncle H


Vince McMahon: HA HA HA and they told me I could never do anything good outside of wrestling. I'm a genius! Genius!!!!


Producer: The network is going to kill me


Cyrus: Yes, yes we will

Spike Dudley *Dressed as John Cleese walks on screen out of nowhere*: And now for something completely different.

*end of Skit 1*

[Corkscrewed]

this is pinned because...?

(:p)

[Lara Emily]

this is pinned because...?

(:p)
this was initally just something I told Funky over Im and he said post it and he'd sticky it.

[Funky Fly]

this is pinned because...?

(:p)
Because I said so. :mad:

this was initally just something I told Funky over Im and he said post it and he'd sticky it.
And that too. :p

[Lara Emily]

Skit #2 Randy Orton: Viagra Spokesman

Randy: Hi I'm Randy Orton and I suffer from Errectile Dysfunction

*Random old footage of some crowd reacting shocked*

Randy: Now you are probably asking yourself, how can that be, Randy you're a hunk. Well it's simple, as gorgeous as I am, when it comes time to do it, my thing just doesn't work. Well at least in the past but now thank to Viagra, when I get a little randy, Little Randy RKOs it everytime.

*Patented Randy Smile*

Spike Dudley *Dressed as John Cleese walks on screen out of nowhere again*: And now for something completely different.

[Quick1]

this is pinned because...?

(:p)

[Corkscrewed]

I think I need to watch Monty Python's Flying Circus to get this. :(

[Lara Emily]

I think I need to watch Monty Python's Flying Circus to get this. :(

Not really other than Spike Dudley's role and that's from the movie: An Now for Something Completely Different

[Corkscrewed]

Oh.

Okay then. I'll just not say anything negative then cuz you're cool and all... plus I still need to d/l vids from you.

[Corkscrewed]

:p

[Lara Emily]

:p
Blame Funky. He's the one who told me to post this :D

[SuperSlim]

it's aight

[ColdwaVer]

*everyone speaking in inexplicable British accents*

Vince McMahon's office. Vince is seen bent over a sheet of paper, crossing out names of old, bad gimmicks. Notably the names "Max Moon, Fake Deisel, and Giant Gonzales" are seen.

Vince: If I don't remember it, it never happened.

*knock on the door, Nick Dinsmore enters*

Vince: Ah, Eugene, how are you?
Dinsmore: I'd like to resign, sir.
Vince: You what?
Dinsmore: I was just talking to Triple H and Chris Benoit sir, and I found out that sometimes people get hurt out there!
Vince: What?!
Dinsmore: So I'd like to resign.
Vince: Oh come on, nobody tries to injure anyone out there!
Dinsmore: But I don't think I want to take that chance. I thought this was all fake!
Vince: Listen, I've got a contract with your name on it. You're more over than Smackdown's champion right now. Though why nobody likes Bradshaw is beyond me.
<i>Randy Orton runs in</i>
Orton: Mr Vince, Chris Jericho was picking on me! He said Hunter cursed the WCW belt when he won it at WM18 and if I keep touching it my naughty bits will fall off!
Jericho, watching from outside the room: Little does Hunter know it was the steroids as did that.
Vince: Get ahold of yourself, that isn't even the same belt as Hunter won at WM18.
Orton, looking at the WWE logo on the World Title: That obviously appeared there by magic.
Vince: Alright then, we'll just have Hunter win it back then.
Orton: Whee! I'm free! *drops the belt and leaves the room, Jericho is heard to exclaim "oh, bollocks!"

[Xero]

:lol:

[Anybody Thrilla]

:nono:

[tucsonspeed6]

I was reading this and hoping to find a dead parrot bit in here somewhere. :(

[ColdwaVer]

I was reading this and hoping to find a dead parrot bit in here somewhere. :(

Just for you:

Vince McMahon is sitting behind his desk, looking over a script written in crayons

Vince: Hehe, that daughter of mine... my genes are the greatest.
La Resistance enters the room
Vince: Ah, my French amigos, what can I do for you?
Conway: Bonjour. We wish to register a complaint.
Vince: But it's time for my midday diva search.
Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie wave from the corner
Grenier: Never mind that now, we wish to speak to you about these titles which we won not just over months ago.
Vince: Ah yes, the World Tag team titles. Well, what's wrong with them?
Greneir: We'll tell you what's wrong with them. They're dead.
Vince: Dead?
Conway: Yes! Dead!
Vince: No no... they've just hit a low point.
Conway: Low point?! Look at them, they mean absolutely nothing!
Greneir: They've become a joke! A farce! A travesty!
Vince: No no... listen, there are peaks and valleys in this business, and-
Conway: Listen, my good man, I know a dead title when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now!
Vince: But they're shiny, look.
Greneir: The shininess don't enter into it. They're stone dead.
Conway: Look, I took the liberty of watching an eposode, and I discovered you don't even bother to use the current belt design as a TV graphic.
Vince: But... the prestige and...
Greneir: Look, I've had just about enough of this. These titles are definitely defunct. And when we won them, you said that the crowd's total lack of a reaction was due to them being tired and shagged out after a long pop for Eugene!
Vince: Well, we can't have the crowd out-cheering the World Title, now could we?
Conway: That crowd wouldn't pop for these titles if you put four thousand volts through them! These titles are no more! They have ceased to be! They've expired and gone to meet their maker! They're dead! Expired! Deceased! Bereft of credibility, they rest in peace! If you hadn't strapped them around our waists, they would be pushing up the daisies! These are EX-TITLES!!!
Vince: Well, Id better move you over to Smackdown then.
Greneir: If you want to get anything done in this company, you have to complain until you're blue in the face.

Two months later:

Mike Tenay: Welcome to the Impact Zone!
London: Hey Billy, remember when we used to be somebodys?
Kidman: Not really. Now shut up and put over Jeff Hardy before Mr Jarrett hears you.

[Ian]

Dave: Well little man, *smiles warmly, then begins to sweat and growl* thats none of your fucking business ARRRRRRRR *Demonbombs Kenny*.


LMAO

[road doggy dogg]

dubya tee eff

[Corkscrewed]

haha... last two are better Lara. :y:

[Funky Fly]

I demand more skits. :mad:

[Nark Order]

LMAO

*marks the fuck out for the demonbomb on poor defenseless children*

[TheNamelessOne]

More making fun of Blandy Orton.

[Funky Fly]

No new skits in almost 21 hours? Funky Fly is displeased. :mad:

[Loose Cannon]

More making fun of Blandy Orton.
:lol: :| :nono: