The Best Captions of 2004 Thread

[Corkscrewed]

Every week, I'll update this thread with what I think are the best captions of the week. I was originally gonna do a Top 5 List in my sig, but apparently, sigs can only have up to 5 characters, so I guess I'll just turn this into an actual thread. :)

I'm not going to put any of my own captions (to be fair, since I wouldn't be able to judge them partially) unless someone suggests I do (hint hint).

At the end of the year, hopefully I can set up a poll or something and we can choose the best caption of the year and the best captioneer or something.

Top Captions of 2004
JANUARY

SmackDOWN! [1-1-2004]
Loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/010104/images/18.jpg
Big Show does wrestling fans the world over a favor by eating Hardcore Holly.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/010104/images/25.jpg
Eddie didn't mind holding Shelton's hand and helping him across the ring, but did he HAVE to sing Whitney Houston songs while they did it?

Vastardikai:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/010104/images/27.jpg
Chavo: What do you MEAN that you hit me with a burrito?

jbone829:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/010104/images/21.jpg
Poking a Wolverine, another side effect of hunger......have a Snickers.


RAW [1-5-2004]
Loopydate:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/010504/images/15.jpg
REF: Jesus, Jazz, "Jazz Hands" are a dance phrase. She wasn't insulting you. There's no need to give her a black eye!
JAZZ: Black eye? BLACK eye?!? What are you trying to say?
REF: Oh, shit...

http://www.wweraw.com/results/010504/images/16.jpg
Backstage, Triple H chuckled. That invisible crucifix was certainly worth the investment.

Good Ol JG:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/010504/images/03.jpg
The first annual "Dudley Bowling" game was a huge success.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/010504/images/23.jpg
Jericho finally knew why Trish had to spend all that time in makeup, but he sure as hell didn't like it.

Kane Knight:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/010504/images/19.jpg
This was, perhaps, the dumbest slow-speed police chase in the history of Tennesee...

Loose Cannon:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/010504/images/14.jpg
Jazz, "Do you see him"
Trish, "Oh my god, you were right. He's in a cage.
Jazz, "Yep, that's what happens when your gimmick becomes more popular then Vince wants it too."
Trish, Poor Sean...

http://www.wweraw.com/results/010504/images/23.jpg
Jericho, "Oh my god Hunter"
Hunter, "Chris...OH UM...I...
Satan's Voice "Come on Hunter...It's Time to drink from the Fountain of Eternity.

Coldwaver:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/010504/images/09.jpg
Victoria: Shoot this man in the ass!
Stevie: Someone already did that caption.
Victoria: Then shoot him in the crotch!
Stevie: NOOOOOOOOO!!!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/010504/images/11.jpg
A second later the arena imploded when they inhaled at the exact same time.


SmackDOWN! [1-8-2004]
Loopydate:
http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/03.jpg
KURT: Swing me! Swing me!
EDDIE: Chavito, are you sure Dr. Jho said there wouldn't be any after-effects of the surgery?
KURT: Come on, mommy! Swing me!

http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/07.jpg
NUNZIO: Chucky, look! I'm being elevated! I'm being--oh, shit.

http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/11.jpg
Danny taunted Scotty. While Doug convinced Scotty to spell out "antidisestablishmentarianism" instead of his usual "worm," Danny clocked him with the belt! Those wacky Bashams!

http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/18.jpg
After botching a move, Chavo had to go to the "Time Out Chair."

http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/20.jpg
CHEAGOL: Give it to us, Eddieagol my love.
EDDIEAGOL: No. I found it.
CHEAGOL: Give us the precious.
EDDIEAGOL: Why?
CHEAGOL: It's my birthday, and I wants it.

Corkscrewed:
http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/22.jpg
Chavo: "Damnit! Mae Young left her panties in the lowrider again."

http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/32.jpg
Evidently, Cena the Trash Man didn't do a good job in the ring and missed about four objects.

http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/33.jpg
Holly: "Stupid. Chair. Dammit... Easy-Fold my ass!"

Good Ol JG:
http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/04.jpg
Living proof that a one-legged man CAN win an ass kicking contest...as long as the man's name is Christ Benoit...and his opponent is Johnny Stamboli.

http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/09.jpg
Benoit reacts to the trailor for the upcoming "Shave This! A-Train's Greatest Matches" DVD showing on the Titan Tron.

http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/19.jpg
Patrick: "Hey look at me, I'm Tugboat! TOOT TOOT!"

http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/27.jpg
Vince: "Since the Japanese love the American Hulk Hogan so much, the Americans would HAVE to love a Japanese Hogan just as much. Am I right? You KNOW I'm right, damnit! Ok...tell that Benoit guy he's still not getting pushed and have Rhyno job to a jar of mayonaise this week. Meeting adjourned."

Always450:
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/010804/images/35.jpg> <img src=http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/34.jpg>
Brock: <I>(after the Billy Gunn clip of the Smoking Gunns beating The 1-2-3 Kid and Bob “Sparkplug” Holly)</I> Hardcore Holly was THAT small?
Holly: Shut up, Lesnar!
Brock: But you were tiny!!!!
Holly: And you were a nerd, and I have proof!
Brock: No! Holly! Buddy, Pal! I was kidding!
Holly: Show the footage!
<img src=http://www.atributetowrestlers.com/brock-lesnar-pictures12.jpg>
Brock: <I>*crying*</I> It’s true! I even read <u>War and Peace</u>, for fun! I coded HTML in Latin!


RAW [1-12-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/10.jpg
Bubba was just as puzzled as anyone to see that he'd suddenly turned into a centaur.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/18.jpg
In an effort to reclaim his career, Kane laid the sacrificial Booker T upon the Altar of Helmsley but was disappointed to learn that Trips had "been there" and "done that."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/24.jpg
By the time Austin finally worked up the nerve to ask for directions on how to get to Texas, he'd already driven to Canada.

Loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/14.jpg
We all knew Trips THOUGHT with his dick. Who knew he SPOKE with it, too?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/21.jpg
When hunting Mark Henrys, it's important to bring the proper equipment. Once you've distracted him with the glazed ham you left at ringside, you must capitalize quickly.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/26.jpg
Orton learned a painful lesson that night. Never break up with Carrie on national television.

Kane Knight:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/08.jpg
The ref wanted to DQ Batista, but thanks to the femminist lobby, breast feeding was now a legal move in the WWE.

jbone829:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/11.jpg
"You are getting sleepy...very very sleepy...I have paid my dues...very sleepy"

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/26.jpg
A sure sign that ticket sales have gone down--wrestlers who are in the match have to sit in the front row.

Loose Cannon:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/02.jpg
Lita shows off the effects of what drinking 10 YJ Stingers consecuitively can do to one's arm.

Vastardikai:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/01.jpg
Lil Kim was a little TOO enthused about meeting Lita...

The Naitch:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/26.jpg
Much to Randy's disapproval, a bird with PMS decided to unload on him.

Fryza:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011204/images/12.jpg
Bill: Oh oh, oh ah!
Steiner: OH OH! AH AH!
Bill: OH OH OH OH, AH OH AH AH!

Yes, howler monkeys are VERY territorial. But the less intelligent ones will begin fighting for reasons that probably escape them too.


SmackDOWN! [1-15-2004]
Loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/03.jpg
Jamie and Nidia were nervous. They knew the Empire of the Sun had never forgiven the States for Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but now that the gay Nazi referee was on their side, wrestling's version of WWII was going to get ugly...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/10.jpg
Eddie learns that he, too, can cause the Butterfly Effect.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/12.jpg
TAZZ: Look, Cole! Chavo's standing, and I think he's going to deliver a shot on Eddie!
COLE: That's not Edward James Olmos...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/14.jpg
Mexican Standoff: Two or more people with guns at the ready, prepared to fire upon each other (as seen in films like Reservoir Dogs)
Italian Standoff: Two or more people with fingers at the ready, prepared to call each other homos (as seen in tonight's SmackDown)

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/15.jpg
Chuck was taken aback. Who knew that Nunzio could morph into Kurrgan?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/22.jpg
It was bad enough that Rhyno's role in the company is shrinking down to nothing. Do they have to actually SHRINK Rhyno down while they're doing it?

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/10.jpg
Fearing Eddie was getting too over, Vince McMahon had Scotty beam him up with the teleport ray. Unfortunately, he missed.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/11.jpg
The emotion of the segment totally broke down when all of the sudden, instead of continuing to pummel Eddie, Chavo Jr. started going crazy on his air guitar.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/20.jpg
John checked his rocket shoes one last time. He was breaking through that glass ceiling dammit!
...or crash trying.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/21.jpg
Heyman always picked the worst times to check for hernias.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/22.jpg
Cena: "Ooh, I found berries." *scarfs down berries*
Rhyno: "No, wait! They might be poisonous! ...... Well, how are they?"
Cena: "They taste like.... burrrrrrning..."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/27.jpg
Cena: "Paul, what would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?"

Loose Cannon:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/01.jpg
Alright John, the 'I got your nose' gag stopped being funny after the 11th time.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/02.jpg
Heyman, "NO More"
Cena, "I've got.... cough cough.... your nose

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/18.jpg
Big Show tried to entertain the crowd with the 'Robot Dance,' but Funaki would have none of it.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/25.jpg
After all hopes of building a fort in the ring failed, the three men tried there luck with a game of pinata.

Nowhere Man:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/07.jpg
Scotty's attempt at a Vader Bomb ends with tragic results.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/20.jpg
No one was sure what the point of "John Cena Gargoyles" was, but damn if they didn't look realistic.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/22.jpg
Unlike most people, who have a small angel and devil on their shoulders, Cena always got attacked by miniature versions of former ECW champions every time he had to make a moral decision.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/23.jpg
The F-U was a powerful maneuver by itself, but for some reason, doing a Fire Marshall Bill impression while delivering it was absolutely devastating.

Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/08.jpg
Being a good, clean, honorable man, Charlie Hass takes it upon himself to start the SmackDown “Say No To Crack” campaign.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/25.jpg
Paul knew he was in trouble… If John Cena can destroy the table with his backhand, lord knows what he could do to the human body!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/05.jpg>
The first round of full contact rock-paper-scissors came to a draw as they both drew “rock.”

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/07.jpg>
I’ve seen some people use God, Money, and Bombs in rock-paper-scissors, but did he really need to use “ass?”

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/05.jpg
Scotty: "So.... Power Twins routine?"
Rikishi: "Been done."
Scotty: "Dammit."
Rikishi: "Well, you could play the gentlemanly Mr. D'Arcy and I could play the precocious Elizabeth..."
Scotty: "Oh, God no."

Good Ol JG:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/18.jpg
Funaki: "Piggy-back ride, piggy-back ride!"
Big Show: "Piggy-back ride? Piggy-back? Back? Baby Back Ribs? Mmmmmm....ribs...."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/19.jpg
Big Show: "I WANT MY DAMN BABY BACK RIBS!"
Funaki: "I DON'T HAVE THEM SHOW, I SWEAR!"
Big Show's madness over his ribs grew to the point where the crowd sat in horror as he poured BBQ Sauce on Funaki and ate him...

jbone829:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/05.jpg
The first ever Chinese fingertrap match didn't go over too well.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/011504/images/07.jpg
No matter how much props everyone gave Scotty, he couldn't carry Rikishi to a good match.

[Corkscrewed]

RAW [1-19-2004]
Loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/06.jpg
Jericho didn't know what to think. Maybe he SHOULD shake hands with Rene as sort of a goodwill gesture, but...did Rene HAVE to masturbate while they did it?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/27.jpg
Jazz revealed what wrestling fans had long suspected: Lita had (literally) no ass.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/30.jpg
D-VON: Hey, Ric! Do one of those ballet jumps. I'll catch you.
RIC: Okay...
BUBBA: Heheheh...
DAVE: No! It's a trap!

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/23.jpg
Even Austin was getting impatient as the FF X-2 commercial marathon entered its seventh hour.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/28.jpg
Hurricane got really confused when his Ortonbot started flailing around and acting like a monkey.

Fryza:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/07.jpg
Wow, Hunter's invisble crucfix now targets anybody for no reason...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/09.jpg
Long: I am, getting so hot, I will...
*RAW suddenly cuts to commercial*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/11.jpg
Rico with a punch to the front teeth, and...wait..wait, no, Henry blocks with his bottom teeth and begins to eat Rico. Okay, I guess that is a first..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/25.jpg
Xtian: And this was when we stole that lawn gnome from Kane's yard...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/33.jpg
It's sad when Long has to hold a pose of horror and Orton has to help Mark with his first attempt at a flying cross body block on Long..

Loose Cannon:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/12.jpg
Kudos to Spike at doing an Ultimate Warrior impression while being choked by Kane.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/33.jpg
Teddy Long coudln't bear to watch Mark Henry preform a 619.

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/05.jpg
Ref: "Oh, man, that blow knocked me out. I was unconscious for, like, three minutes there. That's never happened before. Heh. Now back to the matc- ... OH MY GOD!!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/25.jpg
Christian: "It's soooo cool! It lets you take pictures and send email and surf the ... What the hell!?!??! Final Fantasy X-2?!?!?!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/27.jpg
The ladies were blissfully unaware that they were being ogled by that quintissential pervert, Slimy the Worm.

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/14.jpg
And the heavens opened up to enlighten Scott Steiner…
Steiner: It’s a suplex!!!!

Paul Carrington:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/25.jpg
"And this was when you were in the shower..."

ColdwaVer:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/10.jpg
WWE has REALLY sunk to a new low: to save money on transportation, heavyweights will now start to give rides to smaller superstars.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/25.jpg
Trish: Why do you have a picture of HHH's penis on your phone?
Christian: Well he showed up halfway through the night to hold down our partying skills. (long pause) HEY! How do you recognize HHH's penis???

Vastardkai:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/011904/images/10.jpg
Rico: Yaaaay! I'm riding a Horse!
Mark: I'm called a HOSS! Get it right!


SmackDOWN! [1-22-2004]
Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012204/images/06.jpg
And now Dawn knows that forward is the only way her heart will go.

Fryza:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012204/images/04.jpg
Jamie: Eat MY title, will ye?
Rey: But, it's my titl...
Jamie: *smack*

Kayfabeman:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012204/images/11.jpg
The Power Rangers knew they were ****ed when Rita enlarged Brock
AND Heyman at the same time....

Loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012204/images/08.jpg
Does anybody else think that if you drove a Mario Kart down Shannon's body, you'd get a big speed boost when you hit the legs?

Vastardikai:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012204/images/24.jpg
havo Sr. moves in to inform Kurt that the Breast Stroke is best used in the water and in bed.

Vega:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012204/images/19.jpg
Heyman does his best impression of Dark_Kane begging the mods to unban him.


Royal Rumble
Corkscrewed:
http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/05.jpg
Luckily for the censors, the table was blocking the graphic part of what Dave "The Violator" Batista was doing to D-Von.

http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/14.jpg
Brock Lesnar helpfully picks up a piece of trash discarded on the floor.

http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/22.jpg
Things got a little bizarre when Triple H's Hold-Down Aura suddenly backfired and started working in reverse...

El Santo:
http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/23.jpg
As soon as the two passed out, Hebner realized that he should have used Right Guard deodorant.

http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/27.jpg
Mick hated being on the run, but the Letter "M" was a vicious stalker.

http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/29.jpg
Realizing that there's absolutely no way he'd be winning the Royal Rumble, Nunzio uses the time productively by puttering around the ring in his invisible motor scooter.

Nowhere Man:
http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/01.jpg
The Dudleyz momentarily broke kayfabe to check on Flair. I mean, they knew that tables sometimes worked a little too stiff, but that was just uncalled for.

http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/23.jpg
HHH's ring work had gotten so bad, he was even putting himself to sleep.

http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/33.jpg
Benoit: See? That's why I said trying a tope suicide was a bad idea.

http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/34.jpg
Ref: Congratulations, Benoit! I can't wait to see you come over to Raw. I think you'll do a great JOB.
Benoit: What?
Ref: Nothing, I was just saying that you'll make a great ENHANCEMENT to Raw's TALENT pool.
Benoit: Why do you keep talking like that?
Ref: Oh, no reason. I just think YOU'RE GOING TO BE very happy on Raw, and that all your suspicions will be BURIED . Now, GET OUT and celebrate your victory, WHILE YOU STILL CAN appreciate the moment.

Loopydate:
http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/04.jpg
The Joe Boxer guy reacts to the worst wedgie of his life.

http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/08.jpg
COLE: Wait a minute!
TAZZ: Steven Richards with the DDT out of nowhere!

http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/16.jpg
HBK: Heheh. Remember when you got thrown in the hog pen?
HHH: Remember when you posed for Playgirl?
*Awkward silence*

http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/20.jpg
HHH: Dude, that must have been some pimple.

http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/34.jpg
REF: Chris, where are your pants?
BENOIT: Oh, God. IT'S JUST LIKE MY DREAM!

Fryza:
http://royalrumble.wwe.com/matches/post_rumble/images/22.jpg
This is the worst attempt at drunken boxing I may or may not have ever seen.


RAW [1-26-2004]
Loopydate:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/01.jpg[/IMG]
RIC: Okay, okay, I'll admit it. You CAN kick my ass so hard the WWE logo falls off my tights.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/11.jpg
HBK: Ever since I got this flesh-eating virus...well...I've lost my smile.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/20.jpg
Rico does his "Vince McMahon watching a hoss match" impression.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/25.jpg
REF: I think he said "I want to eat your face."
GOLDBERG: Wuh?
REF: Um..."Uh wuh ee yuh fay!"
GOLDBERG: Buhstuh!

Corkscrewed:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/29.jpg
A wise veteran, Mick had learned to use a steel chair to shield his eyes from HHH's blinding ego.

Fryza:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/12.jpg
Austin: TONIGHT...It'll be HBK versus HHH...for the Undisputed HunterTitle....in this ring....in the FIRST EVER...FINAL FANTASY TEN-TWO IN A CAGE MATCH!
Crowd & JR: WHAT?!
Austin: *stunner*

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/24.jpg
Bill: YOU'RE NEXT!
Mark: No, YOU'RE A HOMO!
Bill: ...What?
Ref: *stunner*
Both: *no sell*
JR: BAWH GAWD WHAT AN INTENSE UNPRETTIER! FFX2 BBQ SAUCE STUNNER!

Loose Cannon:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/06.jpg
Jericho, "......and walla, your push is gone."
Trish, "Wow, how do you do that."
Jericho, "Magic."
Trish, "Can I try."
Jericho, "Well you have to ask HHH, he taught me that trick."

jbone829:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/15.jpg
The crowd was growing restless: Kane had been on his knees for several minutes thinking of the next spot.

El Santo:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/05.jpg
The Walls of Jericho were going well until Batista started singing "Sit on my face and tell me that you love me..."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/09.jpg
Molly: "So you've been on the Internet, have you?!?! Brock says he'll see you in hell!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg
Chris: "...and on 'Smackdown!', we didn't have announcers that screamed 'puppies!' every five minutes!"
HBK: "Impossible!"
Chris: "And cruiserweights had their own titles!"
Hunter: "I grow weary of your lies!"

Always450:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/03.jpg
At least Randy thought that the ref’s new laser vision was cool, but with a laser like that, Randy just KNEW that ref was overcompensating.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/12.jpg
Austin: Triple H, I need the cash you owe me, now.
HHH: But Steve! I don’t have the money now. You know I’m good for it.
Austin: I said now.
HHH: But I don’t have it now!
Austin: Why the hell not?
HHH: Because I don’t sell anything.
HBK: It's true.
Austin: Don’t change the subject.

Sascha:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/13.jpg
HHH: You mean I HAVEN'T buried you yet?


SmackDOWN! [1-29-2004]
Always450:
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/04.jpg>
How could Kurt ever decide? One night with Dawn Marie or the mystery gold box?

<img src= http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/13.jpg>
Yes, Brock did say he wouldn’t kill anyone… but “accidents” do happen…

<img src= http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/26.jpg>
Knowing that Triple H likes his steaks on the rare side, Kurt makes an offer to the Alter Of Helmsly that is still squirming.

Fryza:
<img src= http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/08.jpg>
Though it seems out of place, Rey HAD to do his ceremonial "spin yourself 'til you're dizzy."

<img src= http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/11.jpg>
Jamie: Please, this stuff isn't so sti...okay, how do I unglue my hands?

jbone829:
<img src= http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/16.jpg>
We are the bears, the shufflin crew.....

<img src= http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/21.jpg>
Rikishi: NO SHELTON DONT!!!
Shelton: MY PRECIOUS!!!!

Loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/01.jpg
VINCE: I'm Vince McMahon, dammit! And when I say pull my finger, you say "how high?"
PAUL: That doesn't make any se--
VINCE: Silence, peon!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/04.jpg
KURT: I don't know. Remember the last time people opened the Ark, and everybody's faces melted and stuff? Better leave it be.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/05.jpg
Eddie Guerrero introduced Rey Mysterio to legendary luchador El Cabeza de Poop.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/09.jpg
REF: Jamie, what are you doing down there?
JAMIE: We're just playing.
REF: What game?
JAMIE: "Let's Break Rey In Half."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/24.jpg
Brock's new rule that he would only defend against people who could perform the Alabamaslam presented Eddie with a unique challenge.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/25.jpg
KURT: So, wait. You're saying the shin bone's connected to the KNEE bone?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/26.jpg
KURT: And the foot bone's connected to the ankle bone?
EDDIE: There is no ankle bone.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/27.jpg
KURT: And the crotchbo--
EDDIE: Okay, that's it, ese. I'm throwin' you out.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/19.jpg
Billy just knew the "I'm an ass man" lyrics would come back to haunt him someday.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/29.jpg
"This one's for you, Sean my friend! This one's for you!"

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/13.jpg
If you think you have a hard time when you wake up in the morning, remember the story of poor Orlando <s>Jones</s> Jordan...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/29.jpg
Eddie: "Thanks for the win, God! If there's anything you need..."
God: "Do you remember that Brady Bunch episode where Greg makes Peter his slave? It's on tonight. Tape it."

Loose Cannon:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/04.jpg
Kurt, "Wow, what's this golden box"
Heyman, "Well that's where Vince keeps his buried gimmicks. Go ahead Dawn, open her up."
Voice from Box, "I'm not telling you anything you don't already know."

[Corkscrewed]

FEBRUARY

RAW [2-2-2004]
Loopydate:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/07.jpg
Stacy made a brutal heel turn when she removed Jackie's neck.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/08.jpg
EARL: Okay, if I'm a teapot, what are you?
TRISH: A toaster?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/19.jpg
AUSTIN: Brother Bill, have you heard the Good Word?
BILL: Guwuh?
AUSTIN: Um...just take my card.

jbone829:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/03.jpg
Orton: Oh my god Mic is shot, who did this to you?
Foley: .........
Orton: Mic tell me who killed you!!
Foley: .........
Orton: TALK TO ME!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/13.jpg
Matt: Admit it! It was intentional!
Booker: For the last time I'm not Janet Jackson!

Fryza:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/03.jpg
Orton: Holy shit Mick, you okay? I mean, Richards came out of no where!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/10.jpg
A closer inspection revealed a startling truth to Chris.
Jericho: So you're the asshole who stole my goatee?!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/23.jpg
The WWE Ring Clean Up Crew was good at taking out those who didn't do what Hunter said.

Corkscrewed:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/03.jpg
Orton: "Mick! What the heck are you doing??? We have an angle to do!!!"
Mick: "Shhhhhhhh!!! I can hear the ocean! Soooo relaxing..."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/06.jpg
Rene was a little grossed out when Stacy asked him to help remove her tampon string.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/10.jpg
Jericho: *sniff sniff* Club sandwich with cheddar and Canadian bacon!"
Christian: *gasp* "HOW'D YOU KNOW???"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/11.jpg
Here, Kane proves that you can indeed have your Bill and eat it too.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/16.jpg
Spike: "How ya doing... fatty? FATTY! FATTY! FATTY! FATTY! FATTY! FATTY! FATTY! FATTY! FATTY!!! FAT FAT FAT FATTY! FAT FATTY! FAT FATTY! FAT FATTY!!!!!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/18.jpg
As usual, Triple H no-sells even a bullet shot to the head.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/19.jpg
Austin: "Take these elementary learning cards. They will teach you the system we call the alphabet, or what you call 'those squigglies that turns thems lines into words.'"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/27.jpg
Lets take a moment and read each person's mind.
Benoit: "Excellent. With Michaels' friendship, there's no way Triple H can bury me!"
Michaels: "Oh look! Another Canadian I can screw over with his own submission move!"

Sascha:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/03.jpg
Orton's new motivational speaker gimmick was off to a bad start
"c'mon...it worked for Paige!"

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/16.jpg
HHH: you kinda look like a baby...get in my belly!

Kane Knight:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/06.jpg http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/07.jpg
The WWE, in attempts to raise global awareness, brought a starving third world child to the ring...
Only to enrage human rights activists by forcing her into an HLA angle for a sandwhich...

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/10.jpg
Jericho (Reading): Triple H was here...What the....?

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/18.jpg
You are getting sleepy...Sleepy...I am a credible champion...

The Rock Bottom:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/01.jpg
This is why you obey the sign, "Don't feed the gorillas."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/11.jpg
Hoss - It's what's for dinner.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/18.jpg
Triple H: SEE?! IT REALLY *DOES* COME OFF!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/24.jpg
Orton: "What? I don't see it."
Michaels: "It's there, just keep looking." (frantically taping a "Bury Me" sign to Orton's back)

Mr. Monday Morning:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/11.jpg
Goldberg took an early lead in the finals of the 'Pull my finger' tournament.

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/15.jpg
"So then Jesus rides into Nazareth on a donkey, and this woman shouts 'Nice ass!', and...what?"

Vastardikai:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/03.jpg
The fans are horrified as Randy's "Legend Killer" gimmick finally goes TOO FAR!

http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/08.jpg
Trish dresses up as some Cotton Candy, hoping Sean O'Haire will notice her.

Blazer-:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/07.jpg
Shane warned Vince that his idea for Shannon Moore's "I feel like a woman" gimmick wouldn't go over well.


SmackDOWN! [2-5-2004]
Nowhere Man:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/01.jpg
Due to the more flexible rules imposed by WWE, wrestlers would no longer be disqualified for calling referees homos. The Bashams were the first to exploit this to the fullest.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/03.jpg
Ref: Come on, man, you can do it! It's only a simple splash!
Basham: No, I can't! I can't do the jump. I'm not letting go of these ropes!
Ref: It's not that bad, man. There's nothing to be scared of.
Basham: Scared? I'm not scared! It's that ****er Rhyno again!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/07.jpg
Cena: ACK! Who the hell are you?
Dawn Marie: I'm your conscience! I'm here to help you with your next moral dilemma.
Cena: Really, that's great! I usually get attacked by tiny versions of ECW....oh, damn. You were in ECW, too, right?
Dawn Marie: Well.....*smack*

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/09.jpg
Show: So which one of us is supposed to carry the other to a watchable match?
Gunn:......ummmm......
Show:........We're ****ed, aren't we?
Gunn: Yup.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/17.jpg
Hey, since when was Cheech ever a referee?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/20.jpg
Nidia shows off her coat she made after giving A-Train his bikini wax.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/22.jpg
As Rey and the Chavos struggled to get free, the ring crew made a mental note to never let Rhyno help out with setting up the ropes.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/28.jpg
I don't mind the cameramen always sneaking in cleavage shots of Trish all the time. It's the blatant Kurt Angle crotch shots that have got to stop.

The Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/05.jpg
Rikishi was a hero and Scotty was saved from the tractor beam. Scotty showed his appreciation by offering himself as a snack.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/25.jpg
Holly: Squeal like a pig boy! PAY YOUR DUES
Angle: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Holly: THIS IS WHY THEY CALL ME SPARKY ****ING PLUG!

Loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/02.jpg
The ref darted off-screen to check his rulebook. Seconds later, he returned to inform Scotty that using his new web-shooter to fire a blue nylon cord to Rikishi didn't count as a legal tag.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/18.jpg
KIDMAN: Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
NOBLE: For the last time, you ain't Green Lantern! Stop makin' that noise!
KIDMAN: Reeeeeeeern...

Mr. Monday Morning:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/17.jpg
Welcome to the 1st annual World Leaning Championships

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/16.jpg
Thanks to Affirmative Action, the WWE was forced to create the WWE "illegal immigrant" title.

Loose Cannon:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/14.jpg
Brock does an impression of Goldberg watching Jeopardy

Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/20.jpg
All Nidia could do is gasp in shock. She COULD see Cena!!!

Good Ol JG:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/06.jpg
Rikishi's happiness can only be compared to that of a kid in a candy store...a really fat kid...with a huge ass and no talent...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/14.jpg
Brock: "You mean there is no easter bunny? Nuh uh! He visited me last night! He gave me cream filled eggs and I sat on his lap and he whispered sweet nothings in my ear!"
Eddie: "Uh...holmes...you sure that was the easter bunny? Or was it this guy?"
*The titan tron then shows a picture of Vince wearing nothing but a fluffy pink thong and little bunny ears*
Brock: :eek:


RAW [2-9-2004]
Evolution:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg
Not even Vinnie Mack can get Goldberg to understand that he is allowed to use more than three moves.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg
Triple H: "Welcome to the booking committee meeting. Lets get it started shall we? Ok, if you insist, I WILL hold the title for 3 more years. Meeting adjourned."

Fryza:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/03.jpg
Trish wondered if her breasts were holding her down.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/13.jpg
Chris practices for WMXX.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg

Shawn was amazed as the contract read the follow:
I WILL JOB TO HUNTER I WILL JOB TO HUNTER I WILL JOB TO HUNTER ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US I WILL JOB TO HUNTER.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg
Where will you be when you're diarrhea acts up as you're being nailed to the invisble crucifix and your hemroids flare?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg
Mick was a little upset when his right hand formed a Halo over it. This would make masterbation alot creepier.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg
Randy: HOLY SHIT! Mick! I mean, this the second time! We got here just to see Steven Richards leave!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/23.jpg
Orton: Okay....I've seen Goldberg do this a hundred times...I just run into him, and pray for the best...

Nowhere Man:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/07.jpg
Earl: Okay, Earl, you can do it this time. Don't call for the bell, don't call for the bell, don't--
*calls for the bell*
Dammit!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/09.jpg
Once again, Benoit proves he has the most violent "Guess Who?" in all of wrestling.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/16.jpg
It became painfully obvious that Kane wasn't even trying anymore when he'd call for the beer guy in the middle of a match.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg
Randy: Wow, Mick must've REALLY wanted those cheese curls!

jbone829:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg
Vince: .....Benoits gonna beat HHH.........clean....middle of the ring..
Goldberg: ...Things that will never happen!
Ref: correct!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg
Randy: No Micks been shot again! Who did this to you Mick?!
Mick: .......
Batista: Mick answer him!

Mr. Monday Morning:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg
"Ok lemme see here - put self over, check. Depush Benoit, check. Have subtly homoerotic verbal exchange with Hunter, check."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/20.jpg
"Hey Rikishi, you really lost weig...oh my God, Ric I'm so sorry."

Loose Cannon:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/06.jpg
Cade, "Hey have you two seen where our careers went?
Jindrack, "Yeah we've been looking everywhere

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg
In order to keep better track of things, HHH had the entire Raw lockeroom come out and write down how many times they've been buried by him.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg
HHH asks Shawn to check the list and make sure RVD and Booker didn't leave out a few zeros

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg
HHH, Stop cheating Chris, I know I've buried you at least four....soon five times."
Chris, "You've never burie..........Wait, what"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/18.jpg
The WWE told it's wrestlers that whenever Sean starts screaming for help, do your best to ignore him.

The Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/09.jpg
Grabbing a wolverine's crotch, another sign of hunger.

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg
Triple H: "Jesus, Eric. Is it just me, or do tax forms get damn complicated after you get married?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg
Batista admitted that he was impressed: he had no idea Foley could be used as a surfboard.

[Corkscrewed]

(RAW 2-9-2004 continued)

Loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/04.jpg
MOLLY: Why, yes, Trish, it IS sort of cold in...AH!!!! MY EYE!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/06.jpg
JACKIE: So then, she was all--
STACY: Yeah, totally. She was like--
JACKIE: No way!
STACY: Way! Can't you, like, totally hear her going that?
JACKIE: That slut!
STACY: I know!
CADE: Do you guys wanna go get a drink or something?
JACKIE/STACY: AS IF!
*Their conversation resumes*
MARK: Oooh... Shot down again!
CADE: Shut up or I'll have Vince "re-unite" you with Sean.
MARK (meekly): I'll be good.
JACKIE: Whatever.
STACY: Totally.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg
CHRIS: What part of this do you not understand? I won the Royal Rumble. I get the title shot!
SHAWN: Nope.
JR: Can't argue with logic like that.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/13.jpg
CHRIS: Well, of all the fabrics you might make the WMXX canvas out of, this one IS the most comfortable.
HHH: So you don't mind jobbing on this?
CHRIS: No, not at--what?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg
HBK (reading): "In conclusion, Mister McMahon, if you don't get the belt off of Triple H and put it on Chris Benoit, give Sean O'Haire a United States Title run, give the Cruiserweights more than eight minutes on SmackDown, and elevate anyone and everyone who is capable of working a match, we will be forced to start killing the hostages." *Scoff* Yeah, whatever.

*Rips up the petition*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg
MICK: Man, it's sure good to be dead right here...at the Pearly Gates!
GOD: *Cheap pop*

Always450:
<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/15.jpg>
Triple H was pleased indeed. He just got WMXX spoilers!

Good Ol JG:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/12.jpg
A hush fell over Benoit as he noticed Shawn was growing his "I'm about to screw a Canadian out of a title" beard.

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg
Ref: "It's time for round 2 of the Tongue Twister Tournament!"
Vince: "The rain in Spain falls greatly on the plains."
Goldberg: "...shit."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/02.jpg
Heyman: "Peter Piper picked a peck of peppered pickles for PAUL HEYMAN!!!"
Goldberg: "Stuh bickin on meh!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/11.jpg
HHH: "Hunter Hearst Helmsley hereby has handsome hold of the happy, huge honor of having his haul his forever."
Announcer: "The winner of the Tongue Twister Tournament and STILL Champion..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/10.jpg
As per the new agreements in his contract, Triple H now officially owned everyone's souls.

Spoon Bender:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/19.jpg

Mick: Just thought I'd let you know, that it's time for me to call it a day. That's right. I'm retiring....see you next PPV!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/21.jpg

Unable to cope with 5 mins of non violence Mick drives through a pile of random furniture, mid promo.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/24.jpg

RVD's match had finished about an hour ago, but with Rhyno and his crazy glue back on the loose, he wasn't going anywhere.

Vastardikai:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/01.jpg
Goldberg feels wierd: He doesn't mind being verbally berated by McMahon, but does Vince HAVE to have his penis hanging out while he does it?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/14.jpg
Shawn: On this page, it states that... I could have saved a whole lot of money if I had switched to Geico. I've lost my smile...Again.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/020904/images/24.jpg
Hunter (offscreen): Keep Firing, ASSHOLES!


SmackDOWN! [2-12-2004]
Vega:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/28.jpg
As a last restort, Eddie was forced to use his penis as an illegal weapon.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg
Try as he might, Big Show couldn't grasp the concept of the Atkin's Diet.

Fryza:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/05.jpg
Chavo was horrified as Steven Richards began ignoring brands.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/09.jpg>
The "I'm With Stupid" hand is seen making its WWE debute, pointing out the idiot it's with.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/13.jpg>
Brock: I'm only going to ask you two questions. Who shot Mick twice, why were you logged on to TPWW.net, and why aren't they airing new episodes of Teletubbies?
Eddie: ...

The Rock Bottom:
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/04.jpg>
After discovering that it was Chavo Sr. who shi</>t on his head...

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/05.jpg>
He took an even bigger shi</>t on Chavo Sr.'s head, much to the dismay of Chavo Jr.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/08.jpg>
Hardcore: "Usually your pranks are great Rhyno, but gluing me to the meaning of 'jobber' is unacceptable."

Nowhere Man:
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/06.jpg>
Radioshack's new remote control referees were cool enough, but that antenna was just so distracting.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/07.jpg>
Scotty's reverse victory roll ends in tragedy.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/10.jpg>
Rhyno: Jeez, man, what the hell is wrong with you?
Ref: I said pull my finger, or you're disqualified!
Rhyno: Dude, what th--
Ref: PULL IT! PULL IT, DAMN YOU!!!!!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/14.jpg>
Bored with Bradshaw's match, the ref zones out and starts playing the Snake game on his cell phone.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/16.jpg>
As if the submission hold wasn't painful enough, Shelton tortured Bradshaw with tales from his stay on Velocity.
Shelton:....and then, they made us job to Orlando Jordan!
Bradshaw: No, it's not true! STOP!!!
Shelton: And all that after they decided our matches with the Guerreros didn't get as much heat as Rikishi's ass!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/19.jpg>
Just like Megaman, Nidia had an interchangable arm that she could switch with all sorts of cool weapons. However, the Shit-Covered Log was nowhere near as cool as the old Buster Cannon.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg>
Show does his world-famous impression of the entire Jackson family, complete with Michael's crotch grabbing, Janet's nipple slipping, and Tito's wondering-where-the-hell-his-career-went.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/30.jpg>
The sign in the background sort of gave away Luke Skywalker's surprise debut.

Loose Cannon:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/05.jpg
Chavo can't believe the effect a backstage Hardcore Holly Promo has on some people.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/12.jpg
Due to a tight budget the WWE had to drop their Theme Music department, but instead you get live Mexican style renditions of you're favorite superstar's themes every week on Smackdown.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg
Big Show does his impression of Goldberg at the ATM Machine.

Always 450:
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/12.jpg>
For some reason Brock didn’t understand that John Cena’s gimmick only worked with freestyle rapping…

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg>
And on the Titan Tron every single caption from the TPWW.net message board was shown.
Show: I don’t get it…
Brock: Uhh… yeah… that’s funny… no, I don’t get it either…
Show: Hey, is that you with glasses?
Brock: Internet? KILL!!!!!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/27.jpg>
Now it wasn’t the chair that Cena feared, it was Kurt impaling Cena on his knife shaped arm.

El Santo:
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/04.jpg>
Satan: "I've come to collect the soul that was sold for the shot at the WWE Undisputed Title."
Chavo Sr.: "You've got the wrong Guerrero! I'm Chavo, not Eddie!"
Satan: "Nice try. I've seen Chavo, and he's younger and skinnier, mortal."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/08.jpg>

Rhyno: "Yes, I am the guy who glued the vase to your head. What are you going to do about it?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg
And yet, Vince still can't see that the Big Show is a Big Ape.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/24.jpg
When they say it's "raining cats and dogs", that means it's raining hard outside. When they say it's "raining midcarders"... well, duck.

jbone:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/13.jpg
Brock: Belty don't listen to him, you're not going anywhere!
Eddie: But people on the net say I'm gonna win on Sunday
Brock: ........them.....

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/22.jpg
Eddie: Hey Brock is that a computer over there?
Brock: WHERE?!?!
*thumb poke to the eye*
Brock: owie owie ow ow ow

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/29.jpg
Suffice to say, Brock did not enjoy Eddie's Tinky Winky impression.

Loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/12.jpg
Slower and much more beautiful, the Minnesotan Hat Dance put Eddie Guerrero to shame.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/26.jpg
ANGLE: Alabamaalaskaarizonaarkansascaliforniacoloradoconn ecticutdelawarefloridageorgiahawaiiidahoillinoisin dianaiowakansaskentuckylouisianamainemarylandmassa chusettsmichiganminnesotamississippimissourimontan anebraskanevadanewhampshirenewjerseynewmexiconewyo rknorthcarolinanorthdakotaohiooklahomaoregonpennsy lvaniarhodeislandsouthcarolinasouthdakotatennessee texasutahvermontvirginiawashingtonwestvirginiawisc onsinwyoming, bitch!
CENA: Whoa...


No Way Out
Kane Knight:
http://nowayout.wwe.com/images/posteddiebetter.jpg
Eddie was caught red-handed looting the Champion's locker room

PerfectOne:
http://www.debuginc.com/diwf/eddie_sprint.jpg

the avenger:
http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/04.jpg
RIKISHI: Damn, I knew there was something nasty in that burrito Al gave me.

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/08.jpg
CHARLES ROBINSON: Hold on Nidia, I'll fetch Mae Young, she knows all about these kind of things.

jbone:
http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/01.jpg
In order to kill time on the show, Paul had Torrie and Sable stare at one of those "how to keep a blonde busy" signs

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/09.jpg
Noble: No, Mick's shooter got Nidia too! Nidia who did this to you?
Nidia: .........

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/12.jpg
Goldberg: Wait this isn't the Christina concert...

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/29.jpg
Brock: BELTY! *sniffle sniffle* COME BACK!

Loopyate:
http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/01.jpg
After the shocking news of Barbie's break-up with Ken, she blew EVERYONE away by arriving at No Way Out with her new girlfriend...um...Barbie.

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/03.jpg
SCOTTY: Shaniqua shall have her neck!
SHANIQUA: But...*ack*...I'm Shaniqua!

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/04.jpg
Reason #18 to not try powerbombing Rikishi.

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/16.jpg
REF: Hey, Rhyno! Let him up off the mat. People didn't pay good money for this PPV to watch rest holds.
RHYNO: I'M ON PAY-PER-VIEW?!?
VINCE: RHYNO'S ON PAY-PER-VIEW?!?

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/20.jpg
CHAVO (reading): "Future site of Sean O'Haire's lemonade stand." Heh. That's pretty good.

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/22.jpg
CHAVO: I'm having an odd feeling of deja vu.
REF: Well, the last time you had this belt, you lost it in your WWF debut to "Gregory" Helms.
CHAVO: Who am I fighting on SmackDown this week.
REF: Lemme check...hmm...The Hurricane.
CHAVO: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/23.jpg
JOHN: Yo, Kurt. How'd you memorize all the states in alphabetical order like dat, yo?
KURT: Oh, there's a little song that goes with it. "Fifty nifty United States / From thirteen original colo--"
SHOW: Guys? Match?

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/27.jpg
Kurt was ecstatic over his victory. Unfortunately, he didn't see Giant Fire Marshall Bill preparing to flick him in the back of the head

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/35.jpg
Eddie Guerrero, WWE's first ever Solar-Powered Champion.

Fryza:
http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/06.jpg
Noble: NO, YOU'RE A HOMO!
Nidia: I'm behind you sweety...

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/12.jpg
Goldberg's new gangsta gimmick, "Homezberg," didn't go over so well with the educated.

http://nowayout.wwe.com/matches/postgallery/images/35.jpg
Eddie: Hunter was here....what the...

[Corkscrewed]

RAW [2-16-2004]
The Naitch:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/09.jpg
I did this to Katie Vick once, and she LOVED it!

jbone:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/01.jpg
Benoit: So at Wrestlemania, you're gonna tap at this point right?
HHH: Uh yeah...tap...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/15.jpg
Eric: Hey Austin remember when I fired you?
Austin: Remember when I drove you out of business
Vince: Remember when you and Bischoff performed HGA at WM XX
Austin:..........What?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/20.jpg
Benoit: It's MY time to win Shawn!
HBK: Nope
Benoit: It's my time Shawn!
HBK: Nope
Benoit:...You're a great wrestler and deserve the title
HBK: Nop.....dammit!

Fryza:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/13.jpg
The World Championship Staring contest was down to its final two people, until Triple H nailed the Pedigree for the win.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/20.jpg
Shawn: We don't take kindly to Canadians around the main event levels.

Shake:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/07.jpg
"Halt! I am the spirit of HHH - where do you think you're going with those?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/17.jpg
Damnit, if Trish's cleavage and Lillian's strap-on dildo wouldn't entice the logo, nothing would.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/22.jpg
It was finally revealed how HBK found God - Benoit held him in place as Hebner read him the Bible over and over.

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/13.jpg
Benoit: "You better assure me that you're not going to screw me over in my Wrestlemania match with Triple H."
Shawn: "Of course not, Bre-- I mean..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/19.jpg
Christian: "Here's a rose. It's red, like a popped cherry. I mean, I just wanted to give it to you cuz you're the breast. I mean, wanna hump over to the club after tonight? Shit. You're sticking with Jericho, huh?"
Trish: "Yup."

Loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/07.jpg
BOOKER: Yo, alien! Look! Gold! This is the most valuable substance on the planet. If you kill anyone else in this arena with one of these big gold belts, you'll be revered as gods!
RVD: You think it's gonna work?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/15.jpg
ERIC: And then I said "Sure, Steph. I'd love to meet your friend BJ." What? What's with the loo-- Vince is right behind me, isn't he?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/17.jpg
LILIAN: Yeah! Who's your ring announcer! Who's your ring announcer!
TRISH: I really wish she wouldn't do that...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/19.jpg
TRISH: Wow. Thanks for the rose. Can I give you a kiss?
CHRISTIAN: I'd rather not. Chris might see this.
TRISH: How?
CHRISTIAN: Well, there's a lighting rig over your right shoulder, and there's a camera right next to my head.
TRISH: Oh my God! They've been filming all this the whole time?!?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/021604/images/23.jpg
HBK: Hey, what's that thing falling from the ceiling, and why does it say "Montreal, bitch" on it?


SmackDOWN! [2-19-2004]
Always450:
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/15.jpg>
Chavo Jr: See Eddie! We can be a team!
Belty: Shut up, Midcarder!!! You stupid midcarder!!! I’ll bury you!!!
Chavo Jr: -GASP!!!- Eddie!!!
Eddie: I’m sorry ese! It wasn’t me talking! It was the belt!
Chavo Jr: Belts don’t talk!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/27.jpg>
Kurt: Oh the power… oh GOD the power! It’s almost orgasmic… OH THE POWER!!!
Vince: Okay Kurt… you’re scaring me… now get out of my chair.

El Santo:
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/02.jpg>
John knew he had to be punished for wearing the yellow clothes, but being chained in the center of the ring while Kurt sings the Best of Barry Manilow? THat was both cruel and unusual!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/03.jpg>
As Shaniqua was sent down to OVW, she got her revenge by unleashing her new monster, the Rabid Ref! Unfortunately, she'd given him the brain of some fellow named Germaine Shepperd...

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/05.jpg>
Kurt: "Uh... John... nearsighted much?"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/06.jpg>
John: "Everybody out there! Listen to me! Soylent Green is SEAN O'HAIRE! SEAN O'HAIRE!!!!!!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/07.jpg>
Danny Basham froze when he realized that the Titantron wasn't showing the match as it was happening now, but rather he was seeing himself getting thrashed by Kurt Angle three minutes in the future.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/10.jpg>
When Dawn found Paul, stiff, unmoving, and with a suspicious bulge in his pants, she realized that she'd done it again.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/11.jpg>
And this delightful WWE-commisioned mural depicts the time when a 500 foot tall Eddie Guerrero devoured New York.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/29.jpg
When mini-Angle saved the day by leaping onto Kurt's head, Eddie knew that he had taken one blow too many.

The Rock Bottom:
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/13.jpg>
Eddie thought he had everything under control and celebrated having the belt. But he had fallen into Triple H's trap, and the ring began to bubble and boil into a melting pit of lava...

Triple H: "Ooooooooo-hohohoho. Aaaaaaaaa-hohohohoho. Feecha howaki "Smack Down Title." Hooooooooo-hohohohoho."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/14.jpg>
It was bad enough for Eddie to steal fornature, but to steal the WWE ring was a little much.

jbone:
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/06.jpg>
Cena: I'M NOT TELLING YOU ANYTHING YOU DON'T ALREADY KNO--
Ref: *whack* what did Lord Vince tell you about uttering those lines?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/07.jpg>
Angle flashes back to his days in county .... and that one day in the shower room.....

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/20.jpg>
Paul: Gondor asks for aid Kurt....
Kurt: For the last time this isn't Middle Earth!

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/12.jpg
Tragically, Sean O'Haire got too close to the fan.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/13.jpg
Eddie was ecstatic until something in the rafters caught his eye.
"The belt is fake, all your base belong to us, love Hunter???"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/23.jpg
Eddie: "Hey! You're standing, and I'm about to deliver a move!!!"
Chavo Sr.: *sigh*

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/27.jpg
Seeing... The Kurt wasn't as scary as seeing The Vince, but it was damn close.

Shake:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/05.jpg
"If you can read this, you're about to get Angle Slammed..."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/07.jpg
Angle's in for a surprise as Doug prepares his blue lightsaber.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/09.jpg
After seeing his awesome genitals in the showers two years ago, Lance Storm forever haunted Kurt.

Fryza:
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/05.jpg>
Even nose to nose, the SmackDown! Championship Stare Down was a huge success. Until Triple H came down, and nailed the Pedigree once again for the win.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021904/images/14.jpg>
This is what happens when you don't pay your bills. You're left with just the pipes in your house as furniture.


RAW [2-23-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/12.jpg
Benoit: "Wheee!!! This nude hangliding is what I've always wanted to do. Wait a moment, this isn't where I was supposed to land..."

Paul Carrington:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/17.jpg
Mick: Hey I'll tell you how I feel They punched me Kicked me th-
JR: Stunner!
Mick::wtf: No they didn't stunner me bu-
JR: Governed mule!
Mick:...umm anyways I don't remember to muc-
JR: Bah gawd!!
Mick: Lemme finish I remem-
JR: Sorry fans I don't mean to be biased but this man is a stain on the underwear of life
*Mick does his double arm DDT*
JR: John cena with the Rock bottom!

Fryza:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/06.jpg
When Victoria needed a high note, Stevie fisted her. Worked everytime.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/10.jpg
Orton: Okay...Batista, you go in and attack straight down the middle. The rest of us will run to the limo and party..
Batista: Hey...wait no! That isn't fair.
Hunter: Yeah Randy, I'm the one that writes the shots around here...
Batista: Yeah!
Hunter: Okay Batista, you go in and attack straight down the middle. The rest of us will run to the limo and party..
Batista: Yea...wait...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/12.jpg
Benoit finally broke the glass ceiling, and stayed there, by hanging on to O'Haire's cage.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/27.jpg
Vince: Your soul is MINE!
Eric: ...actually..Hunter alread has i...
Vince: SILENCE PEON!

Loose Cannon:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/01.jpg
Jazz: So what's he doing now.
Victoria: I think he's setting up for the magic show.
Jazz: Oh, the juggling act is over already?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/09.jpg
Benoit: You better tap or I'll tell the whole world what I saw happening inside Vince's office yesterday.

HHH: Oh Sh**....Tap Shawn, Tap Nowwwwwwww.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/23.jpg
Kane: OK, it was funny last week, but paying me in oreo cookies really has to stop.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/28.jpg
As you can see, hide-and-go-seek really wasn't Brock's game.

jbone:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/16.jpg
Christian: Hi Trish, I think you're the breast wrestler...I mean, your moves are tittilating.....wait let me try this again...nice boobs.

ketchupisyourfriend:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/02.jpg
Lita: We love your subs, cuz they are good to us! EAT QUIZNOS SUBS!!!
Victoria: For the love of god make it stop!!

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/02.jpg
Victoria knew that it was a tad severe, but someone had to make sure that Lita never sung on "WWE Originals" ever again.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/12.jpg
Benoit proves to the fans why he deserves as shot at the World Heavyweight Title: here, he lifts a Chevy Vega over his head while forty pound weights dangle from his ... er, he's lifting a Chevy Vega. That's impressive.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/14.jpg
Batista: "Ow? Why so upset? Don't these captions always tell me to grab a Snickers?"
Benoit: "The candy, you fool! The CANDY!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/17.jpg
Mick: "... and the moral of the story is, JR, if you go on the internet, don't tell Brock."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/20.jpg
Stacy: "Uh, Vince, a little help? Rhyno's at it again...."
Vince: "God bless that Rhyno..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/21.jpg
Boy. This is so typical of Vince. He's surrounded by two fabulous blondes, and all he does is close his eyes and think about hosses.

ColdwaVer:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/14.jpg
Hebner: Why do they even trust me with Canadians and submissions, anyways...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/15.jpg
"Who controls the British crown, who keeps the metric system down, I do... I do..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/17.jpg
Mick's JR impression got him over further than he had ever been before...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/22.jpg
We now return to "find the push" with Vince McMahon...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/25.jpg
In keeping with current events, Austin uses his authority as Sherriff to perform a same-sex marriage.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/30.jpg
Failing proctology, Lesnar becomes WWE's "naptime enforcer."

Iceman90:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/01.jpg
Lita and Victoria team up in a match against the glass ceiling. Unfortuantly, they lost.

The Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/12.jpg
Triple H threw a fit, and remembered a previous conversation.

(20 minutes earlier)
Chris: Hunter, can I have the title at Wrestlemania?
Hunter: *Busts out laughing* The day you can balance yourself on your own penis, I will job you the World Title.

HHH: :-\

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/30.jpg
Brock: Steve... Don't go toward the light...
Steve: Uncle Bernie?
Brock: Steve... Come back. Don't go Steve...
Steve: Brian?
Brock: Steve! DON'T QUIT ON ME DAMNIT!
Steve: Brock's career?
Brock: ...

Loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/12.jpg
CHRIS: What the f--when did they install a Glass Wall?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/16.jpg
CHRISTIAN: Okay. Now I'm going to blindfold you...
TRISH: Oh, no. I've fallen for THIS before!
CHRISTIAN: No, no. We're going to play "Pin the Tail on the Donkey."
TRISH: Oh. Well, I guess that's better than "Pin the Pickle Down Trish's Thr--"
CHRISTIAN: Or we could just watch TV or something.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/18.jpg
TRISH: No, I'm not going to trust you! President Bush says that "X"es are evil!
CHRISTIAN: No, he says there's an "Axis of Evil."
TRISH: What?

[Corkscrewed]

SmackDOWN! [2-26-2004]
The Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/01.jpg
Kurt Angle posed for his "WWE Main Event" identifcation card, a new requirement enforced by Vince McMahon to assure that people like Hardcore Holly would never falsely enter themselves in a main event.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/02.jpg
Eddie Guerrero was frustrated at Heyman, already having lined up two challengers for his Illegal Immigrant Title.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/16.jpg
But that Sean O'Haire was coaching the Divas by telling them what John was about to throw... that sonofabitch!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/17.jpg
John Cena was embarassed. Apparently, when he said, "You can't see this," and whipped out his penis, he was right.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/22.jpg
Rita knew she had the battle won, when her overgrown monster put an end to the Black Ranger once and for all.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/24.jpg
Eddie was under even more pressure, when not only did he have two contenders for the Illegal Immigrant Title, but Heyman had formed a "Border Patrol" stable!

Always450:
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/05.jpg>
Rey: That’s it! I’m out of here! There was a promo that cut into our match, and Nunzio just got attacked by Stevie Richards and the ref isn’t doing a damn thing about it.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/08.jpg>
Ref: So Scotty, how are the wife and kids?
Scotty: They’re fine.
Ref: That’s good. Hey, around 15 mins away there’s this great mom and pop burger stand. Best burgers I’ve ever had.
Scotty: That’s nice….. Shouldn’t you be doing something? I mean, isn’t there a match going on?
Ref: Didn’t matter in the last match.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/18.jpg>
Cena: No! Show! Don’t look! They’re showing the HBK/Triple H/Steph double penetration video on the titantron again!
Show: OH GOD NO!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/19.jpg>
Nick: No Show, you can NOT have your own pet cruiserweight!
Show: But I found it…
Nick: Take it back to where you found it or Vince will take away your push!
Show: yessir…

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/20.jpg>
Nick: When will Rhyno stop?
Show: Hey lookie! I have some talent glued onto me!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/25.jpg>
Cop: I’m sorry sir, but we need to reach out Mexican quota, and we sorta need someone.
Eddie: Racial profiling? You are horrible cops! Beside, I’m from El Paso, Texas. How do you know I’m Latino?
Cop: There’s a Mexican flag right above your head.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/07.jpg
Unbeknownst to Bradshaw, the ref had tilted the match in Scott's and Rikishi's favor by using the Force to drop a giant Wrestlemania XX anvil on Farooq.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/15.jpg
Cena takes his Eminem inspiration a little too far when he starts assaulting women.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/17.jpg
Cena agreed that Sable was looking sexy enough... but why was Torrie wearing a mumu?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/21.jpg
If assaulting women didn't make him a hated heel, abusing Mexican Hollywood celebrities would!!!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/08.jpg
Ref: So Scotty, how are the wife and kids?
Scotty: They’re fine.
Ref: That’s good. Hey, around 15 mins away there’s this great mom and pop burger stand. Best burgers I’ve ever had.
Scotty: That’s nice….. say, we should probably get back to the match, huh?
Ref: Yeah, that's a good id--OH MY GOODNESS, WHAT THE HECK IS RIKISHI DOING TO BRADSHAW????

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/16.jpg
Out of Crazy glue, Rhyno hid in the rafters for some fun with magnets...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/26.jpg
Eddie realized that this was probably a BAD time for his theme to start playing. After all, few judges offer leniency when the video of the crime states "I lie and cheat and steal."

Loose Cannon:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/09.jpg
See that guy, I stole his push.
**points to Charlie Haas selling Cotton Candy in the stands.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/24.jpg
Eddie's "Push for 60 days" Coupon had finally expired, he now had to go to Velocity.

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/07.jpg
After having to watch Rikishi & Scotty vs. APA, the Ref had had enough. He morphed his hand into a blade, and may God have mercy on them all.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/14.jpg
Torrie: "And this lovely number, modeled by our very own Sable, is made entirely of A-Train's back hair!"
Sable: "A-Train's... you told me this was mink, you slut!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/18.jpg
The WWE's first "Got Your Nose" match got off to a rousing start.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/19.jpg
Ref: "Hey, Wight! That's not the US Title!"
Show: "Huh? Oh, sorry Chavo."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/24.jpg
Eddie was thrilled when the Village People showed up to perform "Stop, In the Name of Love".

MVP:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/12.jpg
When force didn't work, Brock resorted to tickling.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/14.jpg
Torrie: "Billy and I did it in a restaurant, an office, an airplane."
Sable: "I've been with Triple H"
Torrie: "Oh...you must've done some kinky stuff then."
Sable: "Actually he called all the shots."

The Iron Yuppie:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/12.jpg
Billy did the two things in the world that he shouldn't have done to Brock: He bragged about his high-speed internet and he said that Barney the Dinosaur kicked The Teletubbies' asses

Loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/01.jpg
KURT: Hi. I'm Kurt Angle, Olympic champion. On behalf of the WWE SmackDown locker room, I would like to take this opportunity to speak directly to our fans. We're sorry about Sean O'Haire's depush. We're sorry about Hardcore Holly's main event run. We're sorry that Bradshaw still has a contract, but Kanyon does not. We're sorry that the Cruiserweight division has consisted of four men over the last year. But we're trying. I mean, we gave Eddie freakin' Guerrero the WWE Title! That's gotta mean something, right? Right? Yeah, you're right. I guess you'd better change the channel now, 'cause there's going to be a killer Cruiserweight match opening the show that gets interrupted by a backstage segment. But, hey, at least the segment features a couple of Cruiserweights! Well, not so much "features" as...well... Ah, just roll the opening montage.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/05.jpg
Rey couldn't help but chuckle. How he managed to convince Nunzio that if he looked REALLY closely at the canvas, "The Godfather" was playing, was beyond him.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/08.jpg
BRADSHAW: "If you can read this...I hope you don't mind me eating your knees?" Wha--OW!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/022604/images/22.jpg
Rey hated it when the hosses decided it was time to play "Catch."

======================
======================
======================
JANUARY'S MOST POPULAR CAPTIONS:
Loopydate:
http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/18.jpg
After botching a move, Chavo had to go to the "Time Out Chair."

http://www.wweraw.com/results/012604/images/20.jpg
Rico does his "Vince McMahon watching a hoss match" impression.

Corkscrewed:
http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/33.jpg
Holly: "Stupid. Chair. Dammit... Easy-Fold my ass!"

Loose Cannon:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/04.jpg
Kurt, "Wow, what's this golden box"
Heyman, "Well that's where Vince keeps his buried gimmicks. Go ahead Dawn, open her up."
Voice from Box, "I'm not telling you anything you don't already know."

FEBRUARY'S MOST POPULAR CAPTIONS:
Mr. Monday Morning:
http://www.wweraw.com/results/020204/images/15.jpg
"So then Jesus rides into Nazareth on a donkey, and this woman shouts 'Nice ass!', and...what?"

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/020504/images/16.jpg
Thanks to Affirmative Action, the WWE was forced to create the WWE "illegal immigrant" title.

Nowhere Man:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/021204/images/21.jpg
Show does his world-famous impression of the entire Jackson family, complete with Michael's crotch grabbing, Janet's nipple slipping, and Tito's wondering-where-the-hell-his-career-went.

ColdwaVer:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/022304/images/30.jpg
Failing proctology, Lesnar becomes WWE's "naptime enforcer."

[Corkscrewed]

MARCH

RAW [3-1-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/04.jpg
Steve never bothered being inconspicuous when doing it for The Rock."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/07.jpg
Stone Cold does his best Colorado University football player impression.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/09.jpg
You know your career has hit rock bottom when Greg "The Hammer" Valentine is kicking your ass.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/22.jpg
HHH: "Don't! You! Ever! Drink the Kool-Aid again!!!"

Loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/04.jpg
In this clip from the new "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas," we can see that the graphics have gotten a major overhaul, but...there's something lacking in the vehicle department.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/07.jpg
MOLLY: Who's that behind you?
STEVE: Johnny Flameboy.
JOHN: Johnny Bla--
MOLLY: That's a gay name.
STEVE: Yeah, well, I think he might be a *whispers* homo.
JOHN: I'm not g--
MOLLY: Really? Well, I guess I'll tell all of the Divas. Stacy was telling me she thought he was kinda cute.
JOHN: I'M NOT G--
STEVE: Yeah, well. Isn't that always the way?
ERIC (off-camera): Hey, guys, Triple H is here!
JOHN: But I'm still he--
*Camera cuts away*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg
Typical 1950s thinking. In the event of a nuclear attack, if there's no desk to duck and cover under, hide behind the nearest homosexual.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/17.jpg
BATISTA: *sob*
CHRIS: What is it, Dave?
BATISTA: This is...*sniff* like the third week in a row they've had this same picture up. This can't be helping my credibility.
CHRIS: Aw, buck up, pal. Tell you what. In the next picture, you can be pinning me.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/18.jpg
BATISTA: Thanks, Chris. You're the best. I never did believe all those horrible things Hunter was saying about you to Vince.
CHRIS: Yeah...what?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg
HHH: Wrestlemania logo?
BATISTA: Check.
HHH: Benoit unconscious?
BATISTA: Check.
HHH: Shawn ready for a Pedigree?
BATISTA: Check.
HHH: All right. So I guess they can go ahead and take the picture now so they don't have to in two weeks.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/25.jpg
Mick knew he was screwed when HHH revealed that he, too, had learned to become invisible.

The Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/18.jpg
Batista: "Alright, let's see what we got down here..." *Pulls out a toaster and tosses it*
*Then a broom*
*Then a sink*
*Reaches in deeper* AHA! Got it! *Pulls out Michael's career* Whew.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/19.jpg
Orton: "GUESS WHO MOTHER ****ER. DOESN'T FEEL SO GOOD DOES IT?"

Fryza:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/06.jpg
Teddy: Hey ref, what did the five fingers say to the face?
Ref: What?
Teddy: *slap* Rick James bitch.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/20.jpg
Batista: Shawn...Shawn, am I doing this right?
Shawn: No Dave, we went over this a thousand times..you have to use HIS move.

Nowhere Man
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg
You really have to question the ethics of a man who can't even cut a promo without hellfire shooting up behind him.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/08.jpg
Much like certain species of turtle, the North American Jobber can often pull its head deep within its shell to avoid danger or de-pushing.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/16.jpg
HBK: Look, Bret, I know you're probably still upset about the whole--
Benoit: My name's not Bret. It's Chris.
HBK: Oh! Well, I like the new hair color! Looks better than when I beat you last year!
Benoit: Wrong Chris.
HBK: Jeez, how many of you guys are there?!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/24.jpg
It became a little too obvious that Booker was paying the ref to give him the win. I mean, they just couldn't stop high-fiving each other during the damn match.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/25.jpg
Mick knew he could easily take Orton, Flair, and maybe even Batista, but with Larry the cameraman joining Evolution's ranks, he was starting to get a little worried.

Always 450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg
Triple H even no sells a headbutt to the balls.

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/02.jpg
You know that Stone Cold's lost all passion for the business when he doesn't even try to hide his cue cards.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg
After shooting fire out of his ass, Vince proved that nobody ... but NOBODY ... played a better "pull my finger".

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/06.jpg
Everyone in the ring froze as Hebner frantically announced the arrival of Godzilla.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/15.jpg
In a chilling dramatization with a poorly contructed dummy, Brock warns that anyone caught on the internet will be burned at the stake.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/20.jpg
In a really bizarre plot development, HBK turns on Benoit by firing a flaming spitwad at his crotch.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg
Benoit should have known better. All the midcarders backstage warned him: Don't believe Trips when he tells you there's a shiny quarter on the mat.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/25.jpg
After Flair brought in the two dancing Chippendales, Mick knew that his chances of winning the staring contest were doomed.

Innovator:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg
"Vince McMahon is 7 feet tall."
"Ay I've heard, if he were here, he'd consume the midcarders with fireballs on his eyes, and bolts on lightning from his arse."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/15.jpg
HHH: Hey Godwinn, remember that pig pen match?
Godwinn (on cross): oh yeah that was a good time
HHH: Yeah....well now BURN FOR IT!

Loose Cannon:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg
Hunter now poses for snapshots for 5 mintues before delivering pedigrees to his opponents.


SmackDOWN! [3-4-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/030404/images/05.jpg
Brock: *glug glug glug* "Wait a minute... THIS ISN'T EVOLUTION KOOL-AID!!!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/030404/images/06.jpg
Brock was undefeated in demolition derby, but even he wasn't too sure he could win against the oncoming locomotive.

Innovator:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/030404/images/04.jpg
Brock: You shall be Bubbly, and you shall be Tasty.
Bubbly: What about belty Brock?
Brock: NO! YOU DON'T SAY THAT NAME AROUND ME!

The Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/030404/images/08.jpg
Angle: Have you been injured wrestling by Hardcore Holly? We can help. Just dial 1-800-PAY-DUES. Remember. If you have a phone, you have a lawyer.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/030404/images/09.jpg
Ref: Guys like that just don't fall out of the sky you know!
(Funaki comes crashing down from the sky)
Ref: !!!! Beautiful naked big-titted women just don't fall out of the sky ya know!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/030404/images/13.jpg
Remme terru sumfin bruvah. Hark Horgan wir run RIRD on you. Hurkamania rirr never die!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/030404/images/15.jpg
The World's Greatest Tag Team boasted that they could beat the APA at anything, any time. Well, let's just take a trip back to the 70's and find out...

Special mention also goes out to his entire Kunta Kinte series, which I won't post because it's too long, but it demonstrated very good creativity. :y:

MVP:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/030404/images/05.jpg
Brock's alcoholic gimmick went to far when he got naked in the ring.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/030404/images/06.jpg
That was only the beginning of "Mr. Austin's Wild Ride."

Lamuella:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/030404/images/04.jpg
Definition of frustration: being unable to enjoy your frosty beverage because some miscreant has superglued your chest and elbows to the ring ropes.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/030404/images/14.jpg
The finish came when Chavo Guererro increased the gravitational pull on a boeing 747 in the sky above the arena and dropped a half naked businessman on Rey's head.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/030404/images/20.jpg
When Big Show said "I'd rather eat my microphone than defend the US title this week" he didn't expect WWE to take him at his word.


RAW [3-8-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/numbers.jpg
Still a rookie, Batista's attempt at forcing Foley into The Hunter Position went terribly wrong. Try as they might, neither Flair nor Orton could extricate poor Mick from his predicament.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/02.jpg
Kane found it a little disheartening that the grand sum of all his credibility only fit into that little jar.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/05.jpg
Kane's intense promo was momentarily interrupted when Triple H announced that he'd buried everyone on the RAW roster and that the cycle was restarting.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/36.jpg
Even The Rock was not spared from the consequences of drinking Evolution Kool-Aid.

Lamuella:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/numbers.jpg
Mick Foley called it "Explosive Diarrhea". Evolution called it a "Weapon of Mass Destruction"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/01.jpg
It's happened to everyone. You weren't paying attention in the genetics lab and you accidentally create an evil 50 foot tall clone of yourself. Typical.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/26.jpg
The Rock was less than pleased when Mick brought out his blind date.

Fryza:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/09.jpg
When Jericho became the new Verizon Wireless Guy, it was up to Christian to end those annoying "Can you hear me now?" commercials once and for all.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/21.jpg
Ref: Do you, or Do you NOT, Like these Hand Puppets!
Jericho: No. I. Don't.

Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/02.jpg
Kane: Christ, even Triple H's kidney stones are made of gold.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/04.jpg
Kane: Hey, it's Pandora's Box!
Urn: I'm not tel-
Kane: ! *Throws that shit far, far away*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/05.jpg
Triple H was feeling lazy that night, so he just typed out the gyst of his promos on the TitanTron.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/20.jpg
Austin: That stupid bitch Debra. Only cost me about 20k to get my ring back. What a dumb bitch, hahaha.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/35.jpg
Orton: Hm. Better check The Rock's ass just to be safe.
Batista: Alright, alright. What's this...
*Pulls out a million PPV buys*
Batista: Holy ****! What else is in here!?

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/09.jpg
HHH (on the phone): "Hey, I'm in a good mood right now. What's up?"
Chris: "Trips! I've been wondering... I've been stuck in the midcard for a while now, and I think it's about time that..."
HHH: "Just kidding! This is a voice recording. Leave a message after the beep."
Chris: "DAMMIT! WHY DO I ALWAYS FALL FOR THAT?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/16.jpg
Molly: "C'mon, do it."
Lita: "No, I don't feel like it..."
Molly: ".................I love the subs... The subs are good to us..."
Lita: "Nggg... nggggggg.... EAT QUIZNO SUBS!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/22.jpg
Jericho was thrilled to bring home the Heisman but grumbled that the trophies were needlessly large this year.

Iceman90:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/03.jpg
After Kane read what the Internet fans were saying about him, he destroys his computer and its desk.

Nowhere Man:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/15.jpg
Benoit: For the last time, I'm not Bret! I'm CHRIS!
HBK: Okay, sorry, sorry. You just look different without the goatee and the long hair.
Benoit: WRONG CHRIS!!!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/20.jpg
Austin was just as shocked as everyone else when his right hand made a surprise heel turn and leveled him.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/21.jpg
Jericho writhed in the painful submission hold, but he'd already won half the battle making Richards visible again by transferring the invisibility field directly into the referee's saxophone. You'd be surprised by all the things you could learn in the old Dungeon.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/29.jpg
Snuka:....so they really just flew me out here to put that stupid Orton kid over?
Mick: Well, that's pretty much the long and short of it.
Snuka:....shit.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/36.jpg
Tragedy struck when the Rock died from shock in the middle of the ring. In a related story, WWE had placed a permanent ban on all surprise birthday parties.

Loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/03.jpg
This wasn't the ideal place to set up his new massage business, but no one had the heart to tell him.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/05.jpg
The text itself isn't what frightened Kane. It was the sound of a dentist's drill in the background.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/20.jpg
AUSTIN: Why do they call it a "pinky?" It's kinda...peachish.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/23.jpg
STACY: I once caught a fish that was this big!
JACKIE: I smell like fish!
*Long, awkward pause.*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030804/images/25.jpg
Much to the delight of wrestling purists everywhere, Miss Jackie walked into the giant fan blades.

[Corkscrewed]

SmackDOWN! [3-11-2004]
ketchupisyourfriend:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/05.jpg
Mysterio: "Maybe we're doing it wrong, but I still can't hear the ocean"

Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/15.jpg
Even The Big Show used his own matches for bathroom breaks.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/19.jpg
Paul: Now in an attempt to try to get a decent tag team scene, each one of you will be partnered off with the person across from you.
Holly: It’s times like this I wish I was still with Nascar..
Everyone else: So do we.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/22.jpg
Gunn: Now Steve, who gave you directions to the next Raw Arena?
Steve: Flair…

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/26.jpg
Paul: Now Brock, this is the scene where you run!
Brock: I know Paul, I know… But I can’t…
Paul: Brock, I know it’s your last night on SmackDown, but please, stick to the script.
Brock: But I can’t run out of the ring…
Paul: Fine! I’ll go!!! HMMMMM!!! ****ING RHYNO!!!!
Brock: I told you so!

Paul: No Brock! Don’t jump! Don’t do it!
Brock: BUT THAT LITTLE GIRL SAID TINKY WINKY IS GAY AND USES THE INTERNET!!!
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/29.jpg
And then Brock got his ass kicked by the little girl.
Moral of the story: Tinky Winky is gay, and surfs the internet.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/16.jpg
Rikishi: "You're sure that allowing the WWE Genetic's Lab to splice us together into Siamese twins will allow us another six months as tag champs, right?"
Scotty: "Of course! I even got Triple H's personally verbal guarantee!"
Rikishi: ....

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/17.jpg
Yeah, Rikishi and Scotty had gotten so stale they were even putting their opponents to sleep.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/25.jpg
Big Show: "You just punked out the entire SmackDOWN! roster! How'd you do it?"
Austin: "Why, Evolution Kool-Aid of course! You can do anything with Evolution Kool-Aid, and it now comes in new Bluebury Blast and Glass Ceiling Grape!"

Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/09.jpg
Eddie: So then I says to him... "My name's Kunta Kinte you white fag!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/12.jpg
That was typical of Zack Morris. Whenever he was losing a match, he had to stop time and brood about it.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/16.jpg
Scotty: Rikishi, after seeing The Rock and Foley on RAW, I came up with an idea...
Rikishi: Aw man, you shouldn't have.
Scotty: No, no... (Smile) Rikishi, this is your life! Roll the footage!

(A giant "M" appears on the Tron.) "I'm lovin' it..."

Lamuella:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/03.jpg
"One of you stuck this WWE logo to my ass, and NOBODY leaves until I find out who it was!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/06.jpg
It broke Charles Robinson's heart to tell Tajiri that the goal he just scored didn't count, as they were wrestling, not playing soccer.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/08.jpg
With Jamie's help, Rey was able to retrieve the soccer ball from the top of the WWE logo. At this point CHarles Robinson just gave up.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/11.jpg
Shelton Benjamin was a formidable opponent. Not only was he fast, agile, and strong, but he could also make magic samurai swords emerge from his shoulders at will.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/16.jpg
Maybe it was the excitement of the moment, or the cheers of the crowd, but Scotty couldn't help it. He swung Rikishi down for a long, soul-searching kiss - which lasted all of 7 seconds before the weight became too much and he dropped him.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/18.jpg
Halfway through the match, Chavo got bored and changed the gravitational pull on the stadium again.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/29.jpg
With one misplaced hit, the paintball game became ugly.

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/08.jpg
...The winners of the "most awkward siamese twins" match...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/10.jpg
Vince: You are getting very sleepy...
Angle: I am getting very sleepy...
Vince: I am a competent businessman...
Angle: You are a competent Businessman...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/20.jpg
Nobody had the heart to tell Brock that he was standing on an ATV and thus, not really taller than Big Show.

darkpower:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/23.jpg
"Didn't I just kick your ass backstage?"

Big Vito 22:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/17.jpg
Rikishi was a genius! Who else would've known that playing his own DVD, "Best of Rikishi" would've rendered Basham asleep so that he could get the easy pinfall victory?

Big Daddy Cool:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/06.jpg
Always the heel, Tajri has now mastered the "up yours"

Loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031104/images/19.jpg
When Paul fell asleep mid-promo, the SmackDown superstars held an informal meeting to try to decide on a course of action.


WRESTLEMANIA XX
Fryza:
http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/14.jpg
Batista: You just killed Rock!? YOU'RE the one who's been killing everyone!
Ric: Wait, I can explain!
Batista: Try me, old man!
Ric: Rocky...Rocky speak! *covers mouth and talks* I am the Rock, I am alive. Flair is God..
Batista: Oh my Flair, I'm sorry I ever doubted you sir..

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/17.jpg
Stacy: Oh God, please don't let daddy be watching...He said I wasn't supposed to be almost naked on TV 'til I was fourteen...

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/24.jpg
Goldberg: You sold out...you sold out...
Lesnar: STOP IT!
Goldberg: Teletubbies suck...Teletubbies suck....
Lesnar (in tears): SHUT UP! :'(

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/32.jpg
When Molly offered you to let her breast feed you, you AGREED or lost a jaw bone.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/44.jpg
Paul: Now, one more time, WITH FEELING!
Druids: One. Of us. Is wearing. A push-up bra.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/56.jpg
Benoit: Oh God..it's so beautiful, so shin...what the heck is this note?! *tears the note and reads it.*
Note: Benoit, congratulations on your win. See you on your back in April.
Love,
Hunter.

El Santo:
http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/02.jpg
In a vicious heel turn, John Cena leads Mr. Socko away in chains.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/10.jpg
Chris knew he shouldn't have tried the Extra Spicy Pad Thai.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/16.jpg
"We're men... Manly Men! ... We're men in tights... YES!"

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/27.jpg
"Alright... got the money, the power, and the bitchin' Lego set ... c'mon, LADIES!"

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/31.jpg
Seconds after seeing his new president of operations, Donald Trump immediately regrets hiring personnel through that damn reality show.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/44.jpg
To the delight of geeks everywhere, the Ring-Wraiths take on the Dementors of Azkaban in a You-ripped-off-my-gimmick-you-hack-bastard Battle Royale.

Corkscrewed:
http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/01.jpg
Tragedy struck when Cheech revealed John Cena to be John Connor right as the T-X entered the building.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/07.jpg
Apparently, Christian had a hard time grasping the concept that Jericho was, in fact, NOT a pony.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/25.jpg
Brock made a mental note to enunciate the next time he talked with Goldberg. He wanted to be in football, not a football.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/31.jpg
People had always called Donald Trump evil, but when he aired his Al Quaeda dealings live on TV, there was no longer any doubt.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/40.jpg
Eddie might have been taking this whole "lie, cheat, and steal" gimmick a little far when he tried to steal his OWN boots.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/48.jpg
The match grounded to a standstill when Taker just sat there, enjoying Kane's amusing Teletubby impressions.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/56.jpg
Benoit: "This is a dream come true! I'm so hap---EWWW!!! There's still bits of Hunter's skin on here!!!"

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/60.jpg
And here you can actually see hell beginning to freeze over...

Rock Bottom:
http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/07.jpg
Christian had one hell of a challenge. He was to pull the referee out of Jericho's ass before the new year's ball dropped.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/28.jpg
Haas: Hey, I thought of a new tongue twister! Check it out. Haas has hoss ass in his - OH DEAR GOD NO!

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/39.jpg
Eddie: Nice going moron, you knocked out Kurt.
Ref: Malfunction. Malfunction. System overload.
Eddie: Shit, I knew this was one of Michaels's remote-control referees!

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/41.jpg
Eddie: Harder! Don't be a pussy!
Angle: *TWIST*
Eddie: ARGH! HARDER YOU LITTLE GIRL!
Angle: Now THAT does it! *TWISTWISTWISTWIST!*
Eddie: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! KEEP GOING!
Angle: I'm trying Eddie, but these damn shoes won't come off!
Eddie: That puta Rhyno!

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/44.jpg
'Taker was screwed, when awaiting him on the way to the ring was the Kane Klux Klan.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/55.jpg
Benoit: TAP OUT TRIPLE H!
Triple H: NEVER! Why in the HELL would I job the gold to you cleanly at Mania and sell that weak move!? I AM THE GAME!
Benoit: Look Triple H. A spider on the mat right under your right hand!
Triple H: OMG KILL IT! KILL IT! I AM AFRAID OF SPIDERS! (Pounding the mat profusely)

Lamuella:
http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/04.jpg
Cena's joy at winning the match turned to horror as WWE officials shot Old Yeller in front of him.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/10.jpg
Jericho had the last laugh when he nailgunned Trish and Christian's hands to their hips.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/24.jpg
It was the fed's first "WE QUIT!" match

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/39.jpg
"YOU'RE a homo! HE'S a homo! YOU'RE ALL HOMOS!"

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/44.jpg
The meeting of "6 foot burning wieners anonymous" was under way.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/47.jpg
Despite Kane's protestations of love, Undertaker had to return to his own planet.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/53.jpg
Everyone knew that Hunter had a god complex, but getting the special effects boys to lower a halo over his head was taking it too far.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/54.jpg
Chris Benoit knew that the whirlwind wedding to Liza Minelli had been a mistake.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/57.jpg
The greatest attraction at the carnival was the Vanilla Mirror. It showed you just what you'd look like if you were Canadian.

Nowhere Man:
http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/08.jpg
Neither Jericho nor Trish could handle it when Mae Young entered herself into the Evening Gown match.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/11.jpg
Trish's smile began to fade as the grueling Jericho/Christian "who's got a better 'pissy' face?" contest went into its fourth hour.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/12.jpg
Foley couldn't help but be impressed by how tall Richards had gotten.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/18.jpg
Stacy's offense ended in one of the most horrifying moments in Wrestlemania history, as Torrie countered by eating her alive from the foot up.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/23.jpg
Chavo Sr. tries to give his son encouragement, but deep down he knew that once Rey had locked on the Tijuana Ass-Chomp of Death, it was all over.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/25.jpg
Lesnar catches some AMAZING hang-time with one of the best flying cross body block I've ever seen.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/32.jpg
Victoria was a great wrestler, but she was clearly out of her league when put up against Molly "Make You Eat Your Own Fingers" Holly.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/40.jpg
Eddie Guerrero: World-class athelete? Damn right! Deserving Champion? You bet your ass. Master of tying double-knots? Well, he's still got some ways to go.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/43.jpg
Nobody, least of all Paul Bearer, was all that happy about the surprise airing of the "Best of the Katie Vick Angle" documentary.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/46.jpg
Wow, they weren't lying when they said the Dead would Rise Again! They brought back ****in' Wyatt Earp!

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/48.jpg
Kane celebrated his dastardly deeds after pulling the chair out from the Undertaker just as he was about to sit down.

[Corkscrewed]

(WRESTLEMANIA XX continued)

Loopydate:
http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/13.jpg
Dave felt violated, but now Mick had an exact measurement.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/22.jpg
Tajiri should have thought before he put the Flash in the Tarantula. A split-second after this picture was taken, Tajiri was plummeting headfirst to the floor.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/25.jpg
Brock's frogsplash from the rafters was a pretty damned good way of making up for his botched Shooting Star Press from last year.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/29.jpg
Kish never could get the hang of that split-legged moonsault dealie.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/39.jpg
PATRICK: An' 'en I was all "POW!" An' he was all "OW!" An' she was all "My hero!" An' 'en, I was all "Yeah, wanna go have sex?" An' 'en she was all "I just met you!" An' 'en I was all "POW!"

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/43.jpg
PAUL: Damn you, Willy Wonka! Why didn't you tell me about Violet Beauregard before?!?

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/44.jpg
HHH (backstage): Oh, shit... The smarks have found me!

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/46.jpg
UNDERTAKER (reading): "Ha! Good luck getting this thing off. Love, Rhyno."

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/52.jpg
Shawn Michaels - Multitasker shows off his new gimmick by taking the Crippler Crossface AND beating Triple H in a Thumb War.

Spoonbender:
http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/04.jpg
Cena was afraid, whoever 'Fabbri' was, he apparently 'ruled'. A title challenge was surly not far off!

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/07.jpg
Christian: This is for holding me back Edge!
Jericho: I'm not Edge!
Christian: Shut it Edge!
Jericho: I'M NOT EDGE!

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/12.jpg
Confused as to why The Rock got the part in Walking Tall instead of him, Mick tries to judge Rock's hight in relation to his own.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/25.jpg
Goldberg: "Ain't no damn David Copperfield trick gonna save you, Brock! You're balls are mine!"

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/45.jpg
Unable to find the Undertaker, WWE bring back Cowboy Bob Orton and hope nobody notices.

http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/48.jpg
Kane: "WOO! Oh shit!"
Beware. The dead man cometh for all those who steal Owen Hart's taunts.


RAW [3-15-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/03.jpg
Yes, Victoria could be pretty cruel and relentless once she'd singled out a "You're a homo" target.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/06.jpg
Referee Earl Hebner knew it was a bad idea to have Jericho wrestle Ichabod Crane.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/16.jpg
Bubba's plot to cheat and win was foiled when he openly shook on the deal with Richards right in front of everyone.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/28.jpg
Hebner: "I'm supposed to do what?"
Batista: "Rin... der.... beh..."
Hebner: "Dammit! THAT'S what I forgot to do yesterday!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/29.jpg
The celebration would have been complete had not Sean O'Haire decided to go sniper happy on another member of the kliq again.

Loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/04.jpg
Victoria's new Harpy Scream finisher was found to have an unusual effect on her opponents.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/08.jpg
RENE: No, seriously, Steve! This dog will lead you to beer!
ROB (under his breath): No way he'll believe that...
GRENIER (under his breath): He's not that stupid...
STEVE: Well? What're you waitin' for, ya beady-eyed little bastard?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/14.jpg
JACKIE: Hold still. You're making this too hard!
STACY: *Gack!*
EARL: You don't braid people's hair often, do you, Jackie?
JACKIE: Why do you ask?
STACY: *Cough*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/15.jpg
Yep. Vince has officially lost his mind. This was proven when he spent the remainder of the show standing in the middle of the ring repeating the phrase "I'm Vince McMahon, dammit! I'm Vince McMahon, dammit! I'm Vince McMahon, dammit!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/25.jpg
RIC: Okay, give it to me, Champ.
CHRIS: It's okay. You can stand up, Ric. Triple H doesn't have the belt anymore.
RIC: Oh, thank God...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/28.jpg
EARL: *Whew* I finally got to the point where I can watch one of these without calling for the bell.
*Batista taps out*
CHRIS: Ring the bell!
EARL: What do you people want from me?!?

Fryza:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/01.jpg
Benoit: Hunter, I have a friend here who says he misses you almost as much as you miss him!
Hunter: That's not funny Chris..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/08.jpg
Austin: But how do you smack the thing when it doesn't cook you dinner?
Rene: Not THAT kind of bitch Steve..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/12.jpg
Those rumours about Steven Richards must be true, that's a look normally only seen in pornos!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/14.jpg
Earl: I'm through talking negotations. You either LIKE these shadow puppets, or you DON'T! Which is it, missy?
Stacy: *gag*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/21.jpg
Trish: Christian! You cheating BASTARD!
Christian: Ohh..this..um..I did it for the Rock?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/27.jpg
Dave: What the...hey, there's a World Title Push in here!
Chris: GET OUT OF MY ASS!

Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/01.jpg
Benoit: I'm so proud of my title win!
Triple H: (Mumbling) ...Yeah, I am happy you got the belt...
Benoit: (Points to Triple H's nose) LIAR!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/11.jpg
To overstate the obvious, Kane was much bigger than Spike. Afterall, Spike was but a milimeter tall, and needed a sign over his head to point him out.

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/08.jpg
Steve Austin meets the head of the WWE's writing staff.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/10.jpg
The WWE's first Chicken Dance Contest was off to a great start.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/12.jpg
Shannon Moore was pissed. Brian Kendrick's outfit was so much better!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/14.jpg
Stacy: "I love the Suuuubbbs!"
Jackie: "NOOOOO!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/20.jpg
As Spike prepared to unleash the Sonic Girly Scream, the Ref knew it was time to get the hell out of the arena.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/031504/images/23.jpg
Trish: "Mmmm... yes... kiss me, Albert..."
Christian: ".... what?"


SmackDOWN! [3-18-2004]
Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/01.jpg
Cena's spelling lessons didn't go too far with Goldberg, but, Cena was proud of Goldy nonetheless and commended the effort.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/15.jpg
This would prove once and for ALL that the WWE's release of Zach Gowen was not a discriminating act. Not only did this guy have one leg, but HE WAS BLACK!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/19.jpg
It sure was nice of The Big Show to hold Rey up so the crowd could actually see him.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/26.jpg
(Paul Heyman turns on his TV.)
(8)When the eyes of the ranger are upon you...(8)
(Paul quickly changes the channel.)

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/01.jpg
After John lost his voice, he had to resort to the old Wile E. Coyote gimmick.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/02.jpg
The first Smackdown after Wrestlemania saw the debut of John "the Not-so-Subtle Kleptomaniac" Cena.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/06.jpg
Unlike other wrestlers, Farooq was always prepared when it started raining midcarders.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/11.jpg
If they were going to end up on different brands, Haas was going to collect on the $100 deposit he paid for Shelton's matching boots.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/18.jpg
Rey froze in his tracks. Andy Kaufman was alive! And he hadn't been taking his Stacker 2.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/29.jpg
Dear God, I don't think anyone expected Paul to do a hurricarana!

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/05.jpg
Paul: "Wait, Farooq, you mean you actually took Bradshaw's advice on that ImClone stock?"
Farooq: "Well, he IS my friend, and..."
Bradshaw: :shifty:

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/09.jpg
Farooq: "You told me that ImClone stock was gonna be GOLD!"
Bradshaw: "Um... yeah... about that..."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/13.jpg
Benjamin: "I'm a better wrestler. I'm more over. I'm more athletic. I'm more technically sound. I have better stamina..."
Gunn: "Okay! Okay! *sob* I get it! You're better than me! Stop rubbing it in! :'("
Benjamin: "...I don't oversell every single move. I don't need my ass to get me over. People actually care about me..."

[Corkscrewed]

RAW [3-22-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/04.jpg
Jericho: "Dammit! This Dupree Wheelbarrow is IMPOSSIBLE! I feel like Hardcore Holly with an Easy-Fold Chair!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/16.jpg
The match quickly degenerated when Christian and the ref became caught up in a "You're a homo"/"**** you" gesture war.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/23.jpg
Wow, Rhyno didn't even have the move locked in and Hebner had already called for the bell and was now walking to the back.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/30.jpg
Hunter: "The belt is mine! Give it to me!" *pat pat* "What the... you mean it's NOT attached to your torso?"

Loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/01.jpg
PAUL: ...and that's why the signs say "Low Bridge."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/09.jpg
KANE: I did NOT have sexual relations with that corpse. This press conference is over!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/11.jpg
The skies opened, and God said... "Put on a freakin' shirt!" And lo, the shirt did falleth from the sky.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/12.jpg
CENA: Yo, I was gonna cut a killer freestyle, but since I'm in Detroit and wearing a Lions #20 jersey...I'm just gonna quit. See ya!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/24.jpg
RHYNO: Hey, Earl. I'm Rhyno. Good to meet you.
EARL: Hi. I'll just shake your ha--
CHRIS: No, Earl! It's a trap!
RHYNO: Heh heh heh...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/25.jpg
PAUL: You need to get me a doctor right NOW!
ERIC: I don't see what's so important. John castrated you, like, an hour ago, and you're still walking around just fine!
PAUL: But it's turning BLUE!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/32.jpg
Crippling depression: Another side effect of burial. Hungry? Eat the boss' daughter!

faust34:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/11.jpg
Strip powerball lottery has become an overnight sensation.

Sascha:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
You mean there's a whole OTHER roster to be buried???

MVP:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/10.jpg
Cade: "I'm going to miss you man."
Jindrak: "I got something for you to remember me by, here's my pants."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/11.jpg
Contrary to the unpopular "Paul-in-a-Box," the new "Nidia-in-a-box" sold like crazy.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/19.jpg
Ric: "Hey look man, when Vince told me to whack you, I didn't know he meant this."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/21.jpg
Batista: "UH OH!"
Booker T: "Tell me you did not just do that."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/29.jpg
That was the last time Eddie gave the Big Show a ride anywhere.

Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/05.jpg
Rene' proves to us all that the French do indeed enjoy being crucified.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/10.jpg
Cade and Jindrak show us footage of where they first became a tag team, at a Star Wars convention.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/11.jpg
Bischoff: Alright, Nidia, it's your turn to draw from the golden box of buried gimmicks!
Nidia: Whoa, Sable's leftover silicon!
Bischoff: Er, that works.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/18.jpg
Rob Van Dam guest stars in Busta Rhymes's new video, "Gimme Some Dope."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/29.jpg
It was cool for Eddie to pick up chicks with his car and all, but did he really need to pick up the fat ones too?

Innovator:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/32.jpg
HHH: Now you're gonna get it Eddie!
Belty: Oh shit I've heard about you
HHH: What the ****?!

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/05.jpg
The draft was neat, the post-show beat down was terrific, but nothing in the show could really top the shocking moment when Renee Dupree climbed out of Chris Jericho's mouth.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/08.jpg
Glen Jacobs reflected on the irony of how he began his career as a dentist and ended it a podiatrist.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/09.jpg
"Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected."
* missile explodes behind him *

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/12.jpg
Heyman was torn. One the one hand, he was happy that Brock had lost weight and had signed an NFL contract. On the other hand ... THE DETROIT LIONS!?!?!?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/13.jpg
Cena: "Put me on Raw or I'm siccing Pikachu on your ass, bitch."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
When Batista complained that he couldn't take his hands off his forehead, Flair and Hunter knew that Rhyno had come to Raw.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/18.jpg
Gloating after savagely beating Whoopi Goldberg, RVD's heel turn was complete.

BigDaddyCool:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
Flair, HHH, and Batista all at once: Oh my god, we all wore the same thing, we are such dorks! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Kane: Girls are funny.

Loose Cannon:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/01.jpg
Heyman: Don't ever tell me about a shortcut ever again.
Bischoff: Sorry, I didn't know they weren't finished installing the road yet.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/02.jpg
Welcome back to WWE Jeopardy.
Host: Okay Paul, How many times has an ex ECW wrestler been buried in the WWE?
Heyman: Three Thousand and Five Times
Host: OOOO, So Close. The correct answer, according to Vince himself, is "What's ECW?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/16.jpg
You knew Trish's heel turn wasn't working out so well when Christian had to demand for the fans to stop chanting "Trish" during matches.


SmackDOWN! [3-25-2004]
faust34:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/08.jpg
On looking back at the show Rene Decides maybe it wasn't the best idea to wear tights and look at Hustler during a match.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/13.jpg
"Yes, I'm the whitest man in American and I said it, So talk to the hand Booker."

Fryza:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/13.jpg
Kurt: Hey Booker, what the five fingers say to the face?
Booker: Oh no you don't Kurt, you done already did that one to me today..
Kurt: *SLAP* I'm an Olympic Gold Medalist, bitch!
Booker: ...Okay man, that's the second time...one more time and I'll break your neck again.

MVP:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/10.jpg
Booker T: "What did you say?!"
Eddie: "I just called you by your name."
Booker T: "That is OUR word, you don't use it. Now say it right!"
Eddie: "Ok, can you pass me the oar N-word Jim?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/23.jpg
Bradshaw: "Hahahahaha once I eliminate the rest of the Latino population, President Bush will be in office for a second term for sure."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/24.jpg
The writers sunk to a new low when Eddie was forced to job the WWE title to the white cowboy hat.

Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/07.jpg
Yo, yo, yo. Don't knock on this man, he isn't that bad. We wouldn't want to make his little poodle mad. And don't hate him because he's French, because all he does is warm the - (holds up the mic)
Crowd: Fu</>ck!
Cena: You're supposed to say bench.
Crowd: ...
Cena: ...I just don't give a -
Crowd: Bench! (huge pop)
Cena: Whatever.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/11.jpg
What a smart Basham. Coaxing D'Von into stinging him, so that a few minutes later D'Von would die.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/12.jpg
And then God said, "Let there be light," and prompted Bubba to move his fat ass out of the way.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/16.jpg
Bradshaw: Alright, Undertaker... This town ain't big enough for the two of us...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/20.jpg
Booker T: Eddie, you're gonna have to hold still.
Eddie: (Screaming)
Ref: Hm, just as I suspected. (gets a machine and sucks out a little worm robot with a Triple H face)
Eddie: HOLY SHIT THAT THING WAS REAL?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/21.jpg
Eddie: Booker, wait!
Booker: Shut up sucka, it's naptime.
Eddie: But our Naptime Enforcer just left to go for the NFL.
Booker: Guess I have to kill you then...

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/11.jpg
Ref: "Riiiiiiicolaaaaaaa!!!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/16.jpg
Bradshaw: "And can you believe it? Nathan Jones took my 'advice' about that Enron stock, and long story short, that's the real reason why he got depressed and went back to Australia."

PorkSoda:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/16.jpg
Bradshaw: And there he was just above my chambored door, he squealed at me like nothing more, he took my boozm's to the bedroom floor, and whacked about on my door. Who was this on my bedroom floor, smacking me like a chambored door? I reached the door, hoping for a glore, it was just Stephanie, poking on my chambored door like a 2 cent baby whore! Quote the Bradshaw, nevermore!

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/07.jpg
Seconds later, the WWE jobbed John Cena to the entire University of Nevada.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/16.jpg
Bradshaw: "... it's a book filled with drama, comedy, and lots of paint-by-number pictures. In conclusion, I highly, highly recommend 'A is for Apple, Z is for Zoo.'"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/24.jpg
Fans marked huge when Bradshaw was sucked down by the perilous Smackdown quicksand.

trnbuckle:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/24.jpg
Eddie fainted when he learned he was the prime suspect in the case of "Who Shot JR's hat"

Nowhere Man:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/09.jpg
Long was touched that Too Cool wanted him to be part of their team, but he wasn't too sure about joining up with a group that used to have a white guy who called himself the "Grand Master" as a member.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/11.jpg
Triple H was always so uptight about Tough Enough and the internet "exposing the business," so I've got to wonder why they let the referees shout out the upcoming spots on live TV.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/13.jpg
Tired of hearing Booker's whining, Angle uses an amazing trick he'd learned from Cena. Booker was stunned and frightened when out of nowhere, he couldn't see Kurt anymore.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/17.jpg
Everyone in the room was focused, hell-bent on their goals. Booker wanted to establish his dominance and make a name for himself. Holly wanted to regain his credibility by taking out a major worker. Funaki wanted his lower torso back.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/18.jpg
Not even the aggressive attacks from the WWE Champion would break Booker T away from his Tai Chi.

Kapoutman:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/02.jpg
It was the end for Charlie Haas, as RVD was trying to rip off his arm, while the ref was going for the head

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/15.jpg
The 69 position was old news. Here, Chavo and Spike try the "96" position, to no success.

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/07.jpg
CENA: YoyoyoYOYO! Chill. I know I made some of you guys mad when I did my Barry Sanders impression on RAW. No worries. Tonight, I'm here in East Lansing, wearing a Spartans jersey, so there will be no imp--*begins choking*

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/09.jpg
TEDDY: I represent the NAACP, and I gotta tell you: Your dancing...it's kinda settin' us back.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/15.jpg
SPIKE: This is sort of refreshing.
CHAVO: Why?
SPIKE: On RAW, our crucifices were invisible.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/16.jpg
BRADSHAW: And now I'm...Jimmy Stewart! "Muh-muh muh mouth's bleedin', Burt!" Ha ha ha! Thank you!
TAZZ: Didn't they used to be a little more discreet about filling TV time?
COLE: Your mic's on.
TAZZ: Well, I'm fired.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/17.jpg
HOLLY: You took my main event push!
GUNN: And my claim to being the biggest tag-to-singles success story.
LONDON: And my TV time!
FUNAKI: And my rugged sex appeal!
BOOK: :wtf:

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/24.jpg
REF: Eddie? Eddie, wake up! Oh, man... I told you not to drink all of that. The hat SAID it was 10 gallons!

tucsonspeed6:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/16.jpg
And then I said to Vince that he should purchase some propane and propane excessories.

[Corkscrewed]

RAW [3-29-2004]
Xero Limit 126:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/08.jpg
Vince was starting to get cheap with the Pyros... HBK had to throw the sparkles in the air now...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/12.jpg
HBK: Uh, here...
Chris: Why are you standing like that? Whats wrong with me!?
HBK: Uh, well, if you can kill Ric with your breath, I wouldnt be too hard...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/13.jpg
Johnny just couldnt believe it... Shawn chose Chris over him!

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/01.jpg
Coach paid dearly for making fun of Shang Tsung's new haircut.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/08.jpg
Shawn: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have had that chili Bret sent me."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/17.jpg
Austin: "Heheh.. and then she said, 'No! I'm not your bitch!' and I said 'Shut up, bitch!' and she's like 'It's over!' and I'm like 'You're breaking my law, bitch!' and she's like 'This isn't wrestling, you moron!' so I stunned her and drank six bears, and when she got up, I stunned her again!' Heheheheh..."
Benjamin: "Um, Steve, you're still drunk aren't you?"
Austin: "...and then the cops decided to stop by for some reason..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/29.jpg
"Holy shit! Our anniversary was yesterday!!!"

Fryza:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/11.jpg
Flair hated the WWE's annual prostate check-ups.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/15.jpg
Benoit: Did you, or did you NOT steal Molly's wig?
Johnny: ...
Shawn: ANSWER HIM!

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/05.jpg
HHH: Oh, shit! There's an "H" on the 'Tron! I missed my cue!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/07.jpg
RHYNO: Love you, too, Stevie. No one must ever know...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/12.jpg
HBK: Ha ha! Now I'M the champion!
GOD: Give it back!
HBK: Yessir.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/17.jpg
STEVE: You wouldn't happen to know where the Divas' locker room is, would you?
SHELTON: Down the hall to the left. Why?
STEVE: No reason. *Cracks knuckles* I'll be back in a minute.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/22.jpg
KANE: Note to self, Chia is NOT edible.

Shaggy:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/19.jpg
Late Breaking News: Trish Stratus tragically died monday night after slipping over the Highlight Reel Logo that was conveniently placed on the walkway. Jericho says he didnt do it but is still being held for questioning.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/24.jpg
Urge to kill rising...rising...rising...

MVP:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/01.jpg
Coach wasn't pleased with RAW's new water fountain.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/08.jpg
The debut of Jubilee on RAW was a huge success.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/09.jpg
Johnny: "C'mon Lillian, can't we just go out once like old times?"
Lillian: "Don't start with me Florence!"
Benoit: "FLORENCE?! Hahahahahahahahaha"
HBK: "Oh man Johnny Nitro's real name is Florence?! Hahahahahaha"
Johnny: "Hey shut up...you all shut up!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/28.jpg
Once word ot out about Shelton's win over Triple H, Vince gave the command for the flamethrower.

Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/08.jpg
(8)Oh..! Oh! Ohhhhhhhhhh! I think I'm cute, I know I'm sexy... I got the looks...(8) Introducing first, from San Antonio Texas, weighing in at two hundred, thirty pounds, The Heart Break Kid, Shawwwwwwwwwwwwwn, Michaellllllllllllllllllls!

(8)Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiist, Suuuuuuuuper Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...(8)
And his tag-team partner, from The Pearly Gates, weighing in at nine trillion, eight hundred, fourty-nine billion, seven hundred, ninety-six million, five hundred, thirty-nine thousand, and one pound, The Allllllllllllllllllmightyyyyyyyyy, Godddddddddddddddddd!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/10.jpg
When Michaels told Ric Flair that his penis was a foot long, Flair didn't believe him. So Michaels grabbed a foot and measured.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/15.jpg
Michaels: I gotta hand it to you Benoit, knocking out the ref when I hooked you in that Sharpshooter was pretty smart, I've gotta get some new material.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/29.jpg
Evolution: And to show our appreciation for everything you've done... Triple H, this, is your life!
(Video plays)
Triple H: Who's your daddy... Who's your daddy...
Steph: Vince McMahon is... Are you in yet?
Triple H: I think I'm gonna... Ohmygod... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH.
Orton: *$&^%&^$&^&#^$ WRONG VIDEO FLAIR, YOU MORON!

faust34:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/19.jpg
Trish was furious when the little blue man in the hamster ball refused to stop following her to the ring.

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/01.jpg
Tajiri never got used to the bold taste of Mountain Dew.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/06.jpg
Shelton had lost the tag titles, lost his partner, and was now on a different show all together, but having to listen to HHH prattle on about his love life was more than he could stand.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/20.jpg
Christian knew it was wrong to cheat on Trish with Molly Holly, but there was something about rubbing his fingers through her bald scalp that made his naughty parts tingle.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/22.jpg
Hundreds of fans tossed their cookies when Kane sneezed on national TV.

gonMad00:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/26.jpg
Shelton: GOT YOUR NOSE!
HHH: I'm doomed.

ColdwaVer:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/10.jpg
HBK: It's a magic trick, see, I steal someone's finisher and the bell rings on its own, haha!

Sascha:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/15.jpg
Benoit: WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR!!!

[Corkscrewed]

MARCH'S MOST POPULAR CAPTIONS:

Nowhere Man:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/16.jpg
HBK: Look, Bret, I know you're probably still upset about the whole--
Benoit: My name's not Bret. It's Chris.
HBK: Oh! Well, I like the new hair color! Looks better than when I beat you last year!
Benoit: Wrong Chris.
HBK: Jeez, how many of you guys are there?!

Rock Bottom:
http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/55.jpg
Benoit: TAP OUT TRIPLE H!
Triple H: NEVER! Why in the HELL would I job the gold to you cleanly at Mania and sell that weak move!? I AM THE GAME!
Benoit: Look Triple H. A spider on the mat right under your right hand!
Triple H: OMG KILL IT! KILL IT! I AM AFRAID OF SPIDERS! (Pounding the mat profusely)

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032904/images/17.jpg
STEVE: You wouldn't happen to know where the Divas' locker room is, would you?
SHELTON: Down the hall to the left. Why?
STEVE: No reason. *Cracks knuckles* I'll be back in a minute.

Sascha:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
You mean there's a whole OTHER roster to be buried???

PorkSoda:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/032504/images/16.jpg
Bradshaw: And there he was just above my chambored door, he squealed at me like nothing more, he took my boozm's to the bedroom floor, and whacked about on my door. Who was this on my bedroom floor, smacking me like a chambored door? I reached the door, hoping for a glore, it was just Stephanie, poking on my chambored door like a 2 cent baby whore! Quote the Bradshaw, nevermore!

[Vega]

Now that I know you are doing these, I might have to actually bother doing some again :)

[Savio]

what about Feb?

[Corkscrewed]

I used an editted reply box.

[Corkscrewed]

Updated. Now with Caption of the Year canidates in blue.

[Savio]

Man I gotta do more of these only one of mine is up there.

[Corkscrewed]

Updated. Anyone want to give suggestions on any captions I should put for the Royal Rumble and this past week's Raw and Smackdown? Or should I not put any of mine in?

:)

[El Santo]

Check out the Smackdown thread for my suggestions. I'll get the Raw ones next. :)

[Loose Cannon]

Wow, Caption of the Year for me. I never expected to get that ever. I don't know though, I mind have to hand over the award to Loopy's "Rico/Vince" one. That one had me laughing so hard, I couldn't breathe.

I'll help you out with yours Cork.

[Nowhere Man]

Wow. I just realized that out of the entire month, I only did captions, like, twice. The new generation has passed me by, and I'm nothing more than a feeble shell of my old self. I'm gonna go find out where the hell Lamuella went and stay over there

[Loose Cannon]

Wow. I just realized that out of the entire month, I only did captions, like, twice. The new generation has passed me by, and I'm nothing more than a feeble shell of my old self. I'm gonna go find out where the hell Lamuella went and stay over there

No......You can't leave the Crew Nowhere

[Corkscrewed]

Well, you can go find Lammy, Nowhere Man, but if you do, drag him back.

Seriously... I'd love the master to come back and put us to shame.

[Corkscrewed]

Updated for RAW 2-2-2004. And yeah, I was a bit partial to myself. Hope you don't mind. :D

[Corkscrewed]

And while we're at it... vote for January Caption of the Month if you haven't already!!!!

;)

[Corkscrewed]

Updated again.

Geez, so much for two posts per month. With the high increase in quality recently, I'm on pace for three... maybe four!

[Loose Cannon]

Cork, I'll help you do these if you want, so you don't have to do everybody. I'll put up a few poster's captions if you don't want to do all of them. And I tell you which ones to put up for yours later.

[Loose Cannon]

sorry

[Savio]

Mine always suck :(

[Corkscrewed]

Cork, I'll help you do these if you want, so you don't have to do everybody. I'll put up a few poster's captions if you don't want to do all of them. And I tell you which ones to put up for yours later.

I'm gonna be a little selfish and say thanks but no thanks. I'm not having a hard time with choosing other people's, it's just my own that I'm not always sure about, since they are mine and I'd be automatically biased no matter what.

[Loose Cannon]

I'm gonna be a little selfish and say thanks but no thanks. I'm not having a hard time with choosing other people's, it's just my own that I'm not always sure about, since they are mine and I'd be automatically biased no matter what.
:y:

[Rock Bottom]

This post reeks of bumpingness.

[Blue Demon]

I find I have my moments..but mine tend to be kinda craptacular too.

[Corkscrewed]

Dammit, I accidentally pressed back three times while adding new pics, thus having to start over again. Grrr.

[Shake]

Wow, I got included this week, thanks a lot. I'm going to leave this thread until the end of the year. Grab a beer, sit back and enjoy - should be AWESOME reading.

[Rock Bottom]

I bump thee.

[Corkscrewed]

updated through Raw 2-23.

[loopydate]

updated through Raw 2-23 (except for loopydate's late entries. What a boner)

Or something like that.

[Corkscrewed]

LMAO.

I'll get the rest up as well as the Caption of the Month ASAP. I've been REALLY busy.

[loopydate]

'Saright. No rush, mate. Just bustin' your chops. After all, what else can you expect from Triple Dave - Nature Killer?

[loopydate]

Sweet. Me gusta el bump.

BTW, there's no chance of me getting anything from the 2/19 SD, is there?

I mean, ONE of those hunks of shit had to make you laugh, right?

Right?

Hello?

[Corkscrewed]

Phew! Now to set up the poll!

[Savio]

Looks like there's no more for this weeks smackdown!

[MVP]

WHOA! I got nominated for one of these things.

I gotta do captions more often.

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through MVP's captions on SD! 3-4-2004

[Savio]

**** it I'm done with captions.

[Rock Bottom]

Special mention also goes out to his entire Kunta Kinte series, which I won't post because it's too long, but it demonstrated very good creativity.

LMFAO

[Rock Bottom]

Update me...

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through SD! last week. Now, for the fun that is sifting through the Wrestlemania captions... I'll do that later.

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through Loopydate on WRESTLEMANIA and El Santo on RAW

Oh yeah, and to give me a better idea of what to post for the Caption of the Month nominations, if there are any in here that you think are absolute guffaws, please do suggest them. I know I messed up with LC last month, picking the wrong one, and possibly with Loopy (IMO, the alien one was hilarious), but yeah, I could always use another eye.

[Rock Bottom]

Updated through Loopydate on WRESTLEMANIA and El Santo on RAW

Oh yeah, and to give me a better idea of what to post for the Caption of the Month nominations, if there are any in here that you think are absolute guffaws, please do suggest them. I know I messed up with LC last month, picking the wrong one, and possibly with Loopy (IMO, the alien one was hilarious), but yeah, I could always use another eye.

Loopydate's Caption:

RIC: Okay, give it to me, Champ.
CHRIS: It's okay. You can stand up, Ric. Triple H doesn't have the belt anymore.
RIC: Oh, thank God...

-------------

I found that to be one of the most hilarious ones I've seen, if not the most.

[BigDaddyCool]

w00t w00t, one of mine made it on! There should be more, of mine thought :mad:

[Corkscrewed]

Whew! Totally caught up now! Now go laugh at my captions.

Please?

[Savio]

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/031804/images/26.jpg
(Paul Heyman turns on his TV.)
(8)When the eyes of the ranger are upon you...(8)
(Paul quickly changes the channel.)

Thats bullshit I had the same thing!

[Rock Bottom]

Thats bullshit I had the same thing!

rofl, it's true.

Fryza did that one at WM anyway.

[Savio]

bump for bumps sake.

[Corkscrewed]

Hey, Nowhere Man, if you can still read this, you have two blue captions which will be considered for caption of the month, the "Too many Chris's" one and the "Booker Can't See Angle" one. Tell me which one you prefer. Or if NM can't respond, you guys tell me. :D

(updated)

[Fryza]

rofl, it's true.

Fryza did that one at WM anyway.

*sees name* What I do?

[Corkscrewed]

Hey, El Santo, which one do you think is your best caption? It's hard choosing among a bunch of 5-stars.

[Rock Bottom]

*sees name* What I do?

The Walker, Texas Ranger caption for 'Taker's return at 'Mania.

[BigDaddyCool]

Why do I only have 2 out of like 8 billion? :mad:

[El Santo]

Hey, El Santo, which one do you think is your best caption? It's hard choosing among a bunch of 5-stars.

For the month? Hard to say, since I'm of my own opinion that none of them were that good. :) I suppose the Lego one and the Pokemon one weren't bad, though.

[Corkscrewed]

okie dokie.

[Savio]

*sees name* What I do?
My taker walker ranger. Its ok you just have friends in high places.

[Savio]

No Raw yet? :(

[Rock Bottom]

Heh, I actually think it's weird that caption made it up, because I really was only using it to build up to my next one, which was way too vulgar to archive, and I knew that. o.O The Exorcist one.

[Loose Cannon]

jeez, I've only done one set of captions this entire month. But I guess I'm living up to the Randy Orton of captions. I just sit back and watch the masters or "Legends" of the group do all the work and then when I'm not feeling lazy, I come in and get my licks in.

[Nowhere Man]

Hey, Nowhere Man, if you can still read this, you have two blue captions which will be considered for caption of the month, the "Too many Chris's" one and the "Booker Can't See Angle" one. Tell me which one you prefer. Or if NM can't respond, you guys tell me. :D

(updated)

Well, it's great to be back for one night only, RIGHT HERE!....At the TPWW Best Captions Thread (cheap pop)

Anyways, I'm gonna have to go with the "Wrong Chris" one if I have to pick. Because A) It's got Chris Benoit in it, and Chris Benoit makes it a thousand times better, and B) Everyone loves Clique jokes (and by "everyone," I mean "me")

Oh, and I've got access to a computer for the weekend, so I'll probably do some captions for this week's SD.

[Corkscrewed]

LOL. Well, it was that one or the other one... I forgot the other one....

I'll update the archive tonight and fix the poll tomorrow or something.

[Rock Bottom]

jeez, I've only done one set of captions this entire month. But I guess I'm living up to the Randy Orton of captions. I just sit back and watch the masters or "Legends" of the group do all the work and then when I'm not feeling lazy, I come in and get my licks in.

Loose Cannon has a toothache.

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through March. Go vote for the Caption of the Month (http://tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=9214)!!!

[Rock Bottom]

I'm not sure if anyone noticed... but Cork, you're probably gonna run out of room to post captions, between the actual captions and the posts/replies in this thread. Could be a prob... If it comes down to it though, I wouldn't mind deleting all my posts in the thread or anything. Just wanted to point it out before it happened.

[Corkscrewed]

Um.... I can always post a whole bunch of new replies after each other once a new page starts up ya know. So say all the Jan. through Apr. captions would be on page 1. May - Aug. are on page 3. Sept. - Dec. are on Page 5. Or whatever :D

[Rock Bottom]

Cool, just didn't know if you wanted them all together or what. Anyway, this is the best thread ever.

[Corkscrewed]

I

[Corkscrewed]

need

[Corkscrewed]

to

[Corkscrewed]

get

[Corkscrewed]

this

[Corkscrewed]

to page 3.

[Corkscrewed]

APRIL

SmackDOWN! [4-1-2004]
Face Heely:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/27.jpg
Eddie Guerrero proudly unveils the new "Latino Heat Asshat," available now on WWE ShopZone!

Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/04.jpg
Bradshaw: Are you the cruiserweight I'm here to bury?
Driver: No hablo-
Bradshaw: (Cutting him off) Thanks little buddy. Know where I might find this "Hablo" character?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/08.jpg
When your penis is that large, it certainly takes alot out of you to masturbate.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/14.jpg
And thus, Booker one-upped Brock, by disintegrating Holly's entire head with a piledriver.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/19.jpg
Cena: This dog should be the new mascot for the WWE! Not only does it live and breathe WWE, but it shits WWE too!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/23.jpg
Bradshaw: And this pink right here represents some heavy heat and humidity pouring through the area. A little to the west of that, there is some light rainfall, and I guess that giant Mexican guy is like El Nino or something.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/26.jpg
Taker: Well Eddie, looks like putting on that cowboy hat got you a huge pop, guess you owe me 20 bucks.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/15.jpg
Long: "The Man is holding down the brotha. See, D-Von, you didn't even notice that Bubba borrowed some of Rhyno's crazy glue to paste a thermal detonator onto your cheek."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/19.jpg
Cena: "Hey Renee, how come YOU get to hang out with Stephanie?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/20.jpg
The depush of Eddie Guerrero began as he was appointed Official SmackDOWN! Boogers Inspector.

Innovator:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/07.jpg
Haas: Ha! gotcha leg!
RVD: Ha! gotcha push!
Haas: ...dirty mother****er

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/21.jpg
Even the limo threw the horns up for Cena

Big Daddy Cool:
http://capt-apathy.tripod.com/homo.jpg
Cena and Bradshaw agree, he's a homo.

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/19.jpg
CENA: And now I will use my powers to...TURN SYLVAN GRENIER INTO A POODLE!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/20.jpg
After he broke his nose, Eddie knew that the only one who could take care of him was Kurt "Booboo Kisser" Angle.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/25.jpg
LAWYER: Mister Bradshaw, would you please point to whomever it was that put you in the giant marshmallow?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/27.jpg
EDDIE: I'm going to sit on you so hard, your hat will be the only thing sticking out.
BRADSHAW: I'd like to see you try!
(Moments later)
EDDIE: Ow.

Big Vito 22:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040104/images/08.jpg
RVD does his best Kevin Nash impersonation.


RAW [4-5-2004]
MVP:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/02.jpg
Johnny: "Hey remember that time on Nitro when Bret Hart beat you for the World Heavyweight Title?"
Benoit: "You better shut up."
Johnny: "Remember when you got screwed out of keeping World Heavyweight Title at Souled Out?"
Benoit: "Remember that time your arm "spontaneously" broke?"
Johnny: "No...*snap* OWWWWW!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/11.jpg
The new Mick Foley brand toothbrush did not sell well.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/29.jpg
No one jobbed to Chris Benoit in a nappy match.

Wondermouse:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/06.jpg
The chair wasn't all that comfortable, but Christian had to appreciate the state of the art slutholder. Now his hand didn't get all wet from the natural condensation.

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/05.jpg
REGAL: Hello, sunshine.
ERIC: Oh, hi, William. Good to see you.
REGAL: Yes, well, I just thought I'd inform you that I have come to replace Steve Austin as your backstage nemesis, so to speak.
ERIC: Oh. Well, thank you for informing me.
REGAL: You're quite welcome. Now, would you please direct me to the ladies' locker room.
ERIC: Down the hall to the left. Why do you ask?
REGAL: Oh, no reason. *Cracks knuckles* See you soon.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/06.jpg
ANNCR: And the lucky winner is the fan seated in section 1, row 1, seat 1!
TRISH: Did we just win?
FAN: Riiiiiiiigged!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/11.jpg
MICK: This cotton candy looks kind of str--OW!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/25.jpg
Steven Richards: Master Archer

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/26.jpg
ERIC: ...hope you don't mind that I put down in words / How wonderful life is while you're in the world...
MICK: Dude, that was bro awesome man sweet dawg!
HBK: Rubbish. Absolute rubbish.
BENOIT: Hey! Why do I have to be Paula?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/27.jpg
PETER/PAUL/MARY: No need to rub it in, asshole.

JamesSteele:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/15.jpg
Triple H: Who dare sayeth I have a small penis?
Dave (To Ric): That's what Randy Told me...
Ric: I am not telling you anything you don't already know...
Triple H: Who said that?

Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/01.jpg
Shelton had to be the dumbest guy in the planet for agreeing to his rematch with Triple H being a "nose war."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/14.jpg
Shelton: Alright Trips, get ready to go over me.
Triple H: Wait a m-
Shelton: Contract said I'd put you over, didnt say how!

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/01.jpg
Trips: "Heh... don't worry, Shelton. You won't be buried like the Hurricane."
Shelton: "Uh, Hunter... Nose. Growing."
Trips: "Dammit."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/09.jpg
The Ref was at a loss when Steven Richards snatched his Philly cheese steak.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/11.jpg
Mick was kinda perplexed by the size of Big Show's Q-tip.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/13.jpg
There were few things that could faze Hunter, but unsightly earwax buildup just grossed him out.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/20.jpg
When Chris finally realized that he was being stalked by Shelob, it was too late.

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/11.jpg
Mick Foley's heel turn was complete as he revelled in the victory of stealing the Olympic Torch.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/12.jpg
A-Train kicked off his newest angle by running down Orton with a locomotive, doing it "for the Ric."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/29.jpg
Chris was devastated when Triple H took his belt just like that without a match or anything, but at least Evolution gave him a pinfall over a steel chair so that he could retain some of his credibility.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/30.jpg
"At last, the gold is mine agai-- What the? Dammit Invisible Crucifix! I have the belt now! You can stop targetting people that hold gold!"

Sascha:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/21.jpg
Eugene: HHH put a glass ceiling for me right here.
Regal: Then after your match with Hunter, you will go into the golden box.

Innovator:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/05.jpg
Regal: Hello Eric, I'm back
Biscoff: MR. BEAN!!!!!!
Regal:....oh shit

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/06.jpg
I know Christian is enjoying having Trish with him, but he's got to watch out for that Imperial Walker behind him

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/09.jpg
Jericho: Couple more seconds and I've won...
Ref: Sorry Chris, I can't ring the bell for any Canadians anymore, strict rules
Jericho: But I live in NY now
Ref: Oh, in that case *rings bell*
Jericho: sucker


SmackDOWN! [4-8-2004]
Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/05.jpg
Angle had copied Charlie's whopper for the last time.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/12.jpg
Bush: Haha, I got it. I hacked into the votes. My competition won't stand a chance... Now let's see... (Stupified look, starts typing)

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/26.jpg
Eddie: What the hell!? I am the President of the United States!?
(Somewhere in D.C.)
Bush: God... Damnit! What is WRONG with this thing!? (Still typing)

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/15.jpg
Michael Jackson's first Hug a Little Boy foundation meeting was a success.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/30.jpg
Eddie Guerrero had all sorts of things in his pocket to use as an illegal object, including the mummified penis of John Bobbit.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/31.jpg
Eddie Guerrero as a Final Fantasy 1 character was a big success, with equipment such as S. Chair, WWE Belt. But if only the thief chose the right pillar to prove his courage, he could become a ninja.

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/32.jpg
Bradshaw, doing his impression of Neo from the Matrix...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/32.jpg
Ten minutes later...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/32.jpg
An hour after the TV equipment has been packed up...

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/02.jpg
Like the mighty baboon, Rikishi often frightened off his enemies by flashing his vibrant buttocks.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/03.jpg
Scotty's mime gimmick stalled when he couldn't find a way out of his invisible box.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/14.jpg
Say what you want about Theodore Long, but the man could freestyle like a motherf***er.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/24.jpg
Sure, everyone made fun of Eddie's portrait, but no one was laughing when it pulled out two lightsabers.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/03.jpg
It was quite obvious from this picture: Scotty did NOT know Kung Fu.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/12.jpg
Angle: "See? WWE polls are fair! They are NOT fixed!"
Cena: "Yeah... not fixed..." :shifty:

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/32.jpg
Vince: "Hey Bradshaw, I want you to learn some new moves!"

JamesSteele:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/08.jpg
John Cena had Danny Basham beat until he spontaniously broke out into a complete rendition of Michael Jackson's "Thriller"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/31.jpg
Eddie's E-Bay addiction was starting to get the best of him.

Wondermouse:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/01.jpg
Bradshaw was impressed. That was a helluva one-minute manicure.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/05.jpg
Haas: Why didn't you tell me those green shorts were ridiculous!?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/18.jpg
Jindrak was puzzled, when, looking into the monitor, he saw Mick Foley in the stands.

Face Heely:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/02.jpg
Rikishi just couldn’t keep a straight face whenever D’Von started quoting Richard Pryor

Fryza:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/03.jpg
Scotty: IT'S MORPHING TIME!

BigDaddyCool:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/13.jpg
Kurt (thinking): Hmmm, I don't remeber getting a life sized Eddie doll, and more importantly, where is my wallet.

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/01.jpg
KID: Hey, Bradshaw. I have a note for you.
JBL (reading): "John. Sorry to get your hopes up, but your push timer is almost up. Better luck next draft lottery. Vince."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/12.jpg
Big Show was elated. He knew he had voted 20,000 times. His mom's computer was working again!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/15.jpg
REF: So, Spike, you're telling me that on RAW, the referees didn't have to wear these gay armbands?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/19.jpg
KURT: Ladies and gentlemen. It is my pleasure to inform you all that we - the Bears - are the Shufflin' Crew.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/24.jpg
COLE (sobbing): If--if only he hadn't bought Brock that laptop. He might still be here!

Nowhere Man:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/04.jpg
No one was quite sure what the strange Sign Guy meant by "They're Indestructable and Use Them The Wood," but if they had just asked him instead of dismissing him as a lunatic, the horrific Super Termite Invasion of 2006 could have been prevented.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/13.jpg
Eddie was getting pretty tired of Kurt's desperate attempts to one-up the WWE Champion. Yeah, the Olympic Gold Medals were impressive and stuff, but by the time he'd started breaking out his old Pinewood Derby trophies, it was pretty obvious that he was scraping the bottom of the barrel.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/14.jpg
Teddy Long finds your lack of faith disturbing.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/19.jpg
Angle was proud to announce the competitors for the fourth annual Stupid Clothes for White People competition.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/25.jpg
Mixing all of the Undertaker's Dead Man and Biker gimmicks was confusing enough, but making him an undead cowboy biker pimp was the last straw.

[Corkscrewed]

RAW [4-12-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/06.jpg
Regal: "Hello, Trish my dear! I'm training Eugene here in the ways of the authority-figure-who-feuds-with-the-other-authority-figure. Therefore, may you kindly stand right there while Eugene here gives you a royal shiny and then pushes you into that pile of scrap metal?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/24.jpg
Mick: "Hey Earl! Ring the bell! Chris is from Atlanta and Hunter is from near Canada!"
Earl: "Okay." DING DING DING!
Benoit: "Suckers..."

Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/02.jpg
Kane had warned the Blue Meanie to stand back when his pyro went off.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/25.jpg
Long: It's reasons like this I got traded to SmackDown, white man always pissing on the black talent.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/09.jpg
Tajiri proved once and for all to be the champion of Truth or Dare when he removed A-Train's thong with his teeth.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/26.jpg
The ref decided to let this one slide, as Orton was not giving leverage to Triple H for the abdominal stretch. It turned out Triple H was giving leverage to Orton to help him take a shit.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/29.jpg
Triple H: One blowjob, one blowjob, hayabayabaybayba Do I hear one blowjob, haybayabblahblahblah.
Michaels: One blowjob!
Triple H: Two blowjobs, two blowjobs! Do I hear two blowjobs! Hybabayababablahblah.
Benoit: Two blowjobs.
Triple H: Haybahaba two blowjobs, do I hear three blowjobs and your soul? Going once... Going twice... Erm, Shawn?
Michaels: ...Sorry, my soul belongs to Jesus.
Triple H: ...Sold... Benoit retains. :-\

Sascha:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/02.jpg
Kane knew he should've taken Wonka's warnings seriously.

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/23.jpg
Boy, you know it's getting bad when Evolution no-sells a napalm strike.

gonMad00
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/24.jpg
Foley: Hey H, you find that spider yet?
HHH: F*ck you!

Vega
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/05.jpg
Grand Master Sexay's hat was a little overboard this week.

Savior
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/15.jpg
JR: ROCK BOTTOM!

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/02.jpg
It was a night of recycled gimmicks. Unfortunately, the return of Grandmaster Sexay diverted a lot of attention away from Glen "Mood Ring" Jacobs.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/04.jpg
Kane's Banzai Drop From The Rafters didn't do his back much good.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/05.jpg
Kane knew he had to seek shelter. It was raining 1998!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/11.jpg
You knew JR was going to have trouble with this one. If he couldn't tell Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho apart, how could he tell Bitch and Botch apart?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/29.jpg
HBK: Did you order the locker room cancer?
CHRIS: No. I thought you did.
HHH: Somebody has to sign for m--it. It. Sign for it.

SmackDOWN! [4-15-2004]
loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/35.jpg
KURT: Man! Concrete angels are HARD!

trnbuckle:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/15.jpg
Eddie searches aimlessly to find Shawn's lost smile.

Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/01.jpg
It was Kurt Angle's move against Vince McMahon in "Hoss Chess."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/09.jpg
Rico was a dirty guy, and really didn't mind kissing someone, even if their ass had "HHH was here" spray-painted on it.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/22.jpg
The Austin household sure was hectic tonight.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/25.jpg
Meanwhile, at the Austin household...
Austin: God damnit woman! I said go get me a beer!
Girl: (trembling) But Steve, the stores are all closed and we're out!
Austin: I said go get me a god damned beer, not go to the store you stupid bitch!

Vastardikai:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/01.jpg
Big Show was frozen: it's not everyday you get to meet Lex Luthor, JR of Dallas fame AND Thing.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/16.jpg
Desperate measures needed to be taken to save the poor little WWE logo from getting beaten up by the much larger Word Life Logo.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/20.jpg
Eddie can be so cruel. Making fun of Big Show just because he mispelled Sam's name...

tucsonspeed6:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/19.jpg
Tinkerbell: *whisper whisper* "They're all sinners and must feel hell's fury. Burn them! BURN THEM ALL!"
Show: NO! It can't be! They all ate dinners and need to feed Belle curry! BURP THEM ALL!
Tinkerbell: Damn that deafening entrance music!

JT Kool:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/15.jpg
Eddie was suprised to discover that Sean O'Hare wasn't really released, but his cage was just relocated.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/11.jpg
Charles Robinson: "And now... I will turn Rico's underwear.... INTO A THONG! VOILA!"
Rico: "Ha! You can't do th-- :eek: "

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/18.jpg
Sick and tired of Hebner's stupid chicken dance, Eddie decided to take matters into his own hands with a flying cross body.

#1-wwf-fan:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/01.jpg
Kurt: "Alright Show, you know the deal. If you lose, you have to quit. But if you win, you get to eat this giant potato chip off of Bradshaw's head."

Hired Hitman:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/25.jpg
Torrie: What are you doing!?

Big Show: ..You said to fill it up :mad:

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/041504/images/13.jpg
Big Show took things a little too literally when he took a bite out of crime...


Backlash
Shaggy:
http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/34.jpg
Beniot: Look HBK there is a spider right by your hand. Bet you cant kill it
HBK: Oh yea....
HHH: No Shawn No its a trick!!!!!!!

Kapoutman:
http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/06.jpg

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/19.jpg
Orton bought too much balloons at the fair, and Foley tried to keep him grounded to the best of his strength.

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/24.jpg
A ref with ADD was not a good idea for a match so important.
Ref: 1,2...Are these ants red or black?

Corkscrewed:
http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/05.jpg
Tajiri chuckled. They always fell for the Bottom Turnbuckle Inspection gag.

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/09.jpg
Trish knew it was the end for her when she became trapped in Jericho's glass box.

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/15.jpg
This wasn't what Orton had in mind when he suggested Foley "take out the trash."

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/30.jpg
Benoit could take the Sharpshooter. It was Hebner's stupid Matrix impressions that were messing him up.

Rock Bottom:
http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/10.jpg
Jericho: Mmm, so soft... Yet so firm...
Trish: Um... Chris? You gonna fallaway slam me sometime tonight?
Jericho: Mmm, you know what would be even better Trish? If I gave you a hangman's delayed flowing hovering very slow tombstone... Over and over...

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/20.jpg
Randy Orton's punishment for being AWOL from the US Marines was letting special forces use his back as a map of possible terrorist locations.

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/23.jpg
This was just further proof that any retard could capture the French flag.

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/26.jpg
Edge does his Lesnar NFL try-out impression, while Kane does his Lesnar-on-a-bike impression.

Kane Knight:
http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/05.jpg
Tajiri does his best Ultimo dragon impression--Falling flat on his face, then disappearing back to dark matches.

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/31.jpg
HHH: And so I'm pumping away, and Steph is screaming like a banshee...
Benoit: Oh GOD! I give up! You can have the damn title back! Just DON'T finish that sentence!

The Highlander:
http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/01.jpg
At this point, Shelton realized that Charlie had switched his Japanese move scouting tapes with lesbian porn.

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/09.jpg
Jericho, ever the gentileman, stopped mid match to save Trish from Steven Richards's come-ons.

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/12.jpg
At this point, Lita and Victoria realized that Charlie Haas switched their lesbian porn with Japanese move scouting tapes

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/14.jpg
e http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/33.jpg
Benoit: Torn your quad again?
HHH: No.
Benoit: Now?
HHH: No.
Benoit: Now?
HHH: AHHHHHH!!!
Benoit: Finally!
HHH: No, I just noticed you're missing a tooth.

loopydate:
http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/09.jpg
"Stunning" Steve Austin made a surprise return...with unsurprising results.

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/14.jpg
GAIL: Oh, my God...
MOLLY: Ref, how could you let Lita do a piledriver? How COULD you?

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/16.jpg
RANDY: My shirt does not lie!
MICK: Okay, okay! You ARE Voldemort!

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/32.jpg
SHAWN: If I had a hand in the Montreal Screwjob, may I be horribly crushed from above somehow...

PorkSoda:
http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/08.jpg
Christian: Here, let me turn off the shower, Trish! *Turns nob* err! *other nob* Err! OK, lets go watch TV! *Turns TV on with the turney thing* Err! Hey..what are you looking at?

big_bluto:
http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/31.jpg
Benoit: Shawn's looking at my ass isn't he?
Ref: Yep.
HHH: He calls you his special friend, Chris.
Benoit: help me please...
HHH: It'll cost you.
Benoit: I'll give you your title back after your movie deal?
HHH: Done. You distract him, and I'll hit him with my hammer.

http://backlash.wwe.com/matches/final_gallery/images/32.jpg
Benoit (off-camera): Okay Shawn, on your knees, baby.
HBK: Mmmmmmmmm. Canadianssssss.
HHH: Suckers!


RAW [4-19-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/03.jpg
*thinking* Now that I've shaved my hair after escaping from that wretched cage, NOBODY will recognize me!!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/08.jpg
Ref 1: "Pull her off! Pull her off!!!"
Ref 2: "I can't! She's too strong!"
Ref 1: "Well, we can't just give up, we have to try something!"
Ref 2: "Okay... um... Molly! You're a homo?"
Molly: "WHAT?!" *lets go*
Ref 1: "You did it!"
Ref 2: "I did it!"
Molly: "You called me a WHAT?!"
Ref 2: "Oh shit."

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/05.jpg
Once again, Chris Benoit proves that he is the king of the Really Really Short Ladder Match.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/11.jpg
Evolution all had other things on their mind while the YMCA song played. Randy was soaking in the glory of his ascension to Legendhood. Batista was catching grapes. HHH was going through belt withdrawals. And Ric...just had to pee.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/14.jpg
LILLIAN: Okay, Red Contender. You have to take this gun and shoot the target over Gemini's head. Okay?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/22.jpg
Edge and Chris were happy...until the ref started turning into Agent Smith.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/24.jpg
Edge was thrilled...until the cage lowered. It was time for Bonesaw!

big_bluto:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/09.jpg
Orton: Can you get him to make me look more over?
Edge: Course, dude! He's my brother. Now, how over would you like?
Orton: Very over please.
Edge: You'll have to lend me your title for the period of 4 weeks.
Orton: Only if he can make me look very over and give me a real finishing move.
Edge: Hey! He's a hairdresser, not a miracle worker!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/12.jpg
Vic Flair: Quick, I've got him pinned down, you find out where he keeps that bloody mist!
Ref: Right!

Funky Fly:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/04.jpg
Christian: Ron Harris? Who let you in here?

Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/05.jpg
Benoit makes a huge heel turn even in Calgary, when he reveals that it was HE who had Michaels's smile all along.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/09.jpg
Edge: I've been gone, forced to sit here and watch for fourteen months. And I've hated it. But there is one instance that gets me the most, Orton. That Jesus of Nazareth joke was TOTALLY unacceptable. LISTEN TO ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU.

NCHIGHFLYERS:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/12.jpg
Ref: wow...this Tajiri keg really gives the best beer

Kane Knight:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041904/images/08.jpg
It was foolish of Vince to think that the fans couldn't tell the difference between Austin and a couple of refs.

[Corkscrewed]

SmackDOWN! [4-22-2004]
Vastardikai:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/heyman.jpg
Paul: Your check is in the mail... What?

gonMad00:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/19.jpg
If anyone can carry Cheech-- i mean, Chavo Sr. through a match, it's Forrest-- I mean, Cena.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/21.jpg
Now it was Haas' turn to be in a cage. To make it worse.. with Rico.

Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/05.jpg
D'Von's "Captain Obvious" gimmick was a success, as he called Bubba and RVD homos mid-coitus.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/12.jpg
Bradshaw: My financial advice team will do their very best to make sure you get the soundest, most efficient advice. Just ask one of my many satisfied clients.
(Clip shows)
Bradshaw: So you see, as long as you write bad checks, you don't have to pay the wrestlers...

So far, their date was going extremely well. All the advice Rene got from the guys in the locker room seemed to work.
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/15.jpg
That is... Until he got to Austin's advice.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/16.jpg
That would be the last time Torrie starred in a porn with Gangrel.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/25.jpg
Bradshaw knew that smell my finger trick would work after fingering Stephanie McMahon.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/15.jpg
Cole: "No Austin! Don't that poor, innocent woman!"
Tazz: "That's Renee Dupree, not Steve Austin!"
Cole: "Sorry. Force of habit."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/23.jpg
Eddie: "Suck my balls, D-Von! That's right, I'm EDDIE GUERRERO, BITCH!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/24.jpg
As his promo reached his twelfth hour, Bradshaw couldn't help but notice people weren't paying as much attention as before.

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/03.jpg
Bubba: "Look, Paul, I agree we have to take drastic measures to bring Smackdown's ratings up, but 'Rob Van Dam, the White Afro Thunder' is just not going to go over."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/04.jpg
RVD: "All right, I'm a horse! Vince HAS to push me now!"
D-Von: "Um, Rob..."
Bubba: "Let him be, D-Von. Let him be."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/06.jpg
Sure, Rikishi was always game for flag football! Unfortunately, he'd misheard the "flag" part.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/09.jpg
Fans were shocked when, suddenly, Rikishi pooped out Liberace!
JR: "Mah God, King! He was NEVER dead! He was just up Rikishi's ass all this time!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/10.jpg
Haas: "Oh God! Powerful... magnets! Trying... to take... belts... away! .... Ah hell, might as well have fun. Wheeeeee!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/11.jpg
At this moment, Haas started to suspect that there was something weird about his new ring valet.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/15.jpg
Renee was torn. Torrie ... or Fifi? Decisions, decisions...

big_bluto:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/12.jpg
Paul: Look, Taker, you've been told that you've got a match against Booker T at Judgement Day.
Bradshaw: Paul, I'm Bradshaw!
Paul: No. Taker is the cowboy on SD.
Bradshaw: No. I'm JBL now, and I've got a title shot on Judgement Day.
Paul: WTF?
Bradshaw: Me v Eddie. Main Event.
Paul: I'm gone 3 weeks and this is the crap that happens. Jesus! I'm gonna see Vince!!!

tucsonspeed6:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/07.jpg
Rikishi found out the hard way that the world where time runs backwards was not all it was cracked up to be when he attempted to do his pre-match ritual of taking a big stinky crap...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/16.jpg
Moments later, the doors to the arena slammed shut and a mysterious blaze roared through the building, incinerating everyone in attendance.

Vastardikai:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/14.jpg
Rene: You're the world's worst actress, aren't you?

Torrie: You Remembered! :love:

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/06.jpg
RIKISHI: So THAT's what my feet look like!

RICO: MY CREDIBILITY! I knew I left you somewhere!
Charlie couldn't help but weep. In just two short months, he'd gone from one-half of the World's Greatest Tag Team to one-half of the Ambiguously Gay Duo.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/12.jpg
JBL: ...which would be the perfect opportunity to sell. Now, when the NASAQ...
PAUL (thinking): That DOES look like a giant potato chip!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/18.jpg
CENA: You were in "Selena!" You were responsible for J-Lo's career taking off!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/23.jpg
D-VON: Why, yes, Eddie. That blonde in the front row is ho--OW, MY EYE!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042204/images/24.jpg
JBL: ...down 3 3/4. Now, would you like me to tell you about the top tech stocks in the--Eddie? Dammit, I've done it again.


RAW [4-26-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg
Lita never believed the stories her mom told about the "Botch Monster" coming to eat her if she made enough mistakes. Now, she was starting to regret that.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/07.jpg
"So I push one of these buttons and someone's push magically disappears? Wow, this Triple H machine is fun!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/08.jpg
Benoit: "If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be? "
Michaels: "Taylor Hanson."
Benoit: "Taylor Hanson is a guy."
Michaels: "Hahaha! You guys are yankin' me. 'Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire.'"
Benoit: "No, he's actually a guy, Shawn."
Michaels: "What? That's insane. That's impossible. *Pause* Oh god. Oh my god. I've got all these magazines. Oh god."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/20.jpg
Orton: "Lemme get this straight. You were called 'The King,' but you DIDN'T scream 'PUPPIES!' every five seconds???"

PureHatred:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg
Lita was terrified by Kane's breathe. But Kane was even more scared that Lita would botch the kiss and kill them both.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
Triple H had blamed everyone else for the low ratings the last few years. It was now Mr. Planty's turn.

Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg
That would be the last time these two had a threesome with Rhyno.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
Triple H: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CRAP. Unbelievable. How DARE you have leaves greener than my face.
Tree: ...
Triple H: Look at me when I'm talking to you, you jobbing piece of shit.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/10.jpg
Lawler: There's Charlie everywhere... WATCH YOUR TAIL, HE'S RIGHT ON YOU! Man oh man oh man... NO! GOD DAMNIT PULL UP! PULL UP! ARGH! (Begins weeping) DIE YOU GOOK BASTARDS! DIE! DIE!!!!!
Christian: I knew I shouldn't have let him do a top-rope move.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/14.jpg
Triple H: (Stomp) That (Stomp) will (Stomp) teach (Stomp) you (Stomp) to (Stomp) speak (Stomp) better (Stomp) Japanese (Stomp) than (Stomp) ME.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/21.jpg
Flair: See Edge, this is what I'm talking about. Foley is so fat and out of shape, he can't go... more than... five... m... (ZzZzZzZzZ)

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg
GAIL: As the future World Women's Champion, I encourage you from time to time - and always in a respectful manner - to critique my matches. If you're unconvinced that a particular move I've used is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up the fact that I'm a Canadian being announced as "from Korea" as a negative is - I collect your ****ing arm. Just like this ****er here. Now, if any of you botchtastic bitches got anything else to say, NOW'S THE ****ING TIME! I didn't think so.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
HHH: Yeah? Well...uh...YOUR roots don't look natural, either!

Nowhere Man:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg
The classic Triple H/Tajiri Unenthusiastic Disco Contest ended in tragedy when both men were killed in a surprise nerve gas attack.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/10.jpg
The horror that struck Grand Master Sexay when he learned his goggles were stuck to his head was only matched by the horror that struck him when he learned that his hands were now stuck to his goggles. If he'd only watched more Rhyno matches while he was out.....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/11.jpg
The whole idea of "making the save" didn't really dawn on Tyson until just after he and Jericho had ripped Trish in half.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/17.jpg
Finally, the two find solace and romance with one another, and spend the rest of their lives happily inspecting each other's teeth.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/21.jpg
People always bust HHH's chops for not selling anyone else's offense, but Flair taking a nap while Edge has his own finisher on him is really crossing the line.

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
HHH: "You march on Isengard, dammit, or all Middle Earth is lost!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/10.jpg
GMS: "Oh my God! I came back to the WWE, and I have no wrestling skills whatsoever!" Pounds head. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/11.jpg
Things got horribly surreal when "The Magician" Tyson Tomko pulled Trish Stratus out of Jericho's ass.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/18.jpg
JR: "And on the ring ropes, ladies and gentlemen, is the tightest ass I have ever seen! ... And Stacy's there, too."

Vastardikai:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg
The bookers learned a horrible lesson that day: Lita's bad acting can cause projectile vomitting.


SmackDOWN! [4-29-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/18.jpg
Booker T gained even more heel heat when he offered two Big Macs to the Undertaker right in plain view of Paul Bearer.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/19.jpg
Taker was not amused by Booker's whoopi cushion.

Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/01.jpg
Not satisfied with just regular Olympic Gold, Kurt Angle goes for the Special Olympic Gold Medals!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/09.jpg
Rene was dead set on making Kurt a proud man by going out there and winning the Naked Olympics.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/11.jpg
Chavo called off his open challenge when he was defeated in his first bout against "The World." Apparently, Cheech Martin had a knack for ladder matches.

Nowhere Man:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/02.jpg
Angle succumbs to Heyman's nefarious psychological warfare when Paul E. plays the ending of Old Yeller on the Titantron.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/06.jpg
Charles Robinson should have stepped in to put a stop to the brutality, but someone in the crowd brought in a boom-box with the Macarena song and, dammit, he just had to dance!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/08.jpg
Dupree was never really comfortable with the company's policy of broadcasting annual physicals on live TV, especially when it was his turn to cough.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/10.jpg
There was no doubt that Chavo was one of the toughest bastards in the WWE. No one, and I mean NO ONE, has ever withstood the Sicilian Crotch Chomp, but Chavo barely even flinches.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/17.jpg
Booker tried his hardest to finish his promo and not pay attention to the fact that he'd been set on fire.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/28.jpg
RVD: Dude, wake up! The match has started!
Bubba: Ughhh...five more minutes...
RVD: Come one, man! We're gonna get in trouble!
Bubba: I don't wanna go to school today...

Lamuella:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/02.jpg
Mrs Angle had to stop halfway through the story to reassure Kurt that eventually the little boy would find The Puppy Who Lost His Way

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/20.jpg
On the other side of the pants, to avoid any confusion, was the word 'hdiick'

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/18.jpg
Despite initial hesitation from internet smarks, the WWE's first "Steaming Bowl of Milk" Match was a surprising success.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/19.jpg
Taker: *getting up* "Hold on a second... BRADSHAW's getting the main event a Judgment Day?"

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/06.jpg
Charles Robinson was terrified. Torrie was in trouble, and here he was, trapped in this damned invisible box!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/12.jpg
D-Von knew he should have finished off RVD, but damned if he didn't feel like Chicken Tonight.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/15.jpg
The Undertaker was tough before, but now that he had his own pet Oompa Loompa...

[Corkscrewed]

MAY

RAW [5-3-2004]
tucsonspeed6:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/14.jpg
Jericho: Guys! Seriously, get down here and help me find my contact lens!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/15.jpg
Lita: *sobbing* He's gone forever! We'll miss you Benoit
Matt: No, wait! I think I can still hear him!
Benoit: *Voice sounds distant and echoey* Hello? Can you hear me?
Matt: We can hear you, Benoit! Where are you?
Benoit: ...I think I'm somewhere beyond the glass ceiling...
Matt: Really? What's it like?
Benoit: ...Have you ever seen that movie: Tron?
Matt: No
Lita: No
Sound Guy: No
Cameraman: No
Lita: Yes....wait, I mean no.

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/03.jpg
Orton: "Oh crap, Dave, you all right? I TOLD you Steph was a squirter!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/22.jpg
Chioda: "Okay, okay, Shawn, check this out. What did... the five fingers say... to the face?"
Michaels: "...not... the... time...!!!"
Chioda: *SMACK* "RICK JAMES, BITCH!!!!"

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/09.jpg
MATT: So...do you like my new oxstar pants?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/10.jpg
LITA: I don't know about this, Vince.
VINCE: Nonsense, Lita. The Bride got herself out of a coffin. And you're a WAY better fighter than her!
LITA: Ow!
VINCE: What?
LITA: I just botched being inside a box...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/21.jpg
REF: Hey! There's a hole in your head!
Poke
CHRIS: OW!
Poke
CHRIS: DAMMIT!
Poke
CHRIS (thinking): I almost miss Earl just arbitrarily ringing the bell.

Lamuella:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/09.jpg
"Chris, I'm happy to see you too, but could you please get Mini-Jericho to stop hugging my leg?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/11.jpg
Kane decided to find out why HHH had liked humping that mannequin so much.

big_bluto:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/20.jpg
HBK: Hey, baby.
Benoit: Stop it! I'm don't like you that way, Shawn.
HBK: But you're my special friend. Of course you do!
Benoit: HAVE YOU GOT A BONER?!!?!

Nowhere Man:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/03.jpg
Unbeknownst to Orton, Edge sets up for his most devastating finisher yet: the Human Enema.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/09.jpg
Hardy had seen a lot in his career, but even the Sensei of Mattitude was awed by the sheer majesty of Jericho Crossing the Delaware.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/14.jpg
Christian and Tomko were getting ready for an intense showdown, when Jericho's infamous narcolepsy kicked up again.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/22.jpg
The most bizarre tag team match comes to its conclusion when Benoit makes Shawn tap to the Crossface, and Mike Chioda simultaneously knocks out Steven Richards with a vicious karate chop.

Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/02.jpg
Tajiri shows Orton exactly why he is called the "Japanese Lovesaw."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/03.jpg
Randy: Dave, what is it? What's wrong, Dave? Why is there Evolution Kool-Aid all over your mouth?
Dave: NO! Don't look at me! Just leave me alone! Stay back!
Randy: Oh my goodness... Your face... It's turning into Triple H's...
Dave: GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE... I can't stop it... I'm sorry Randy, I'm ab-... ab-... b-.... BUUUUUUUUUUAH.
Randy: :eek:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/12.jpg
Meet Kane. A seven-foot monster of a wrestler, but he was lacking confidence in "other" areas. Choosing to do something about it, Kane began using our product. Now he's got a seven-foot monster of his own, finally getting a little respect from the locker room community.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/14.jpg
In our next episode of Double Dragon, Billy Lee takes a huge heel turn when he joins Aboabo in attacking his brother, Jimmy Lee!

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/06.jpg
Rob Conway demonstrates to the viewers at home the incredible power of mitosis.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/12.jpg
Rinka-dinka-doo! Ha-cha-cha!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/14.jpg
Chris breaks down as Christian and Tomko tell him how much they HATED his YJ Stinger commercials.

gonMad00:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/050304/images/25.jpg
HHH: GOT MY NOSE!


SmackDOWN! [5-6-2004]
El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/01.jpg
For one night, we should all salute Mrs. Guerrero, a brave woman who must live with the pain of a rosebush growing out her left shoulder.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/02.jpg
Bradshaw, ever the Republican, schocks Mrs. Guerrero with his radical proposal to eliminate medicare.

M-A-G:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/04.jpg
Cena was out to promote the effectiveness of his 'Hookt on Phonix' program.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/13.jpg
'Taker, Texas Ranger was on the case again, this time hunting for a criminal in a late night rave party.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/23.jpg
And really, who wouldn't be jealous of a penis shaped like John Cena?

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/08.jpg
Chavo figured no one would EVER find his Cruiserweight push if he shoved it up his ass, but he didn't factor in Jacqueline's resourcefulness.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/09.jpg
Chavo didn't like how Jacqueline had been taking blow job lessons from Lita.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/14.jpg
That was the bad thing about this new Undertaker. He didn't sell your hugs either.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/28.jpg
When all was said and done, Eddie stood tall in the Chair Bong Smoking Contest.

Vastardikai:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/17.jpg
The latest Iraqi Prison Abuse picture was the most disturbing of all...

big_bluto:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/20.jpg
Dawn-Marie: You f*ckin bitch! It was you that posted those photo's of me on TPWW!
Torrie: No, no, no, it wasn't me!
Dawn-Marie: It WAS you! And you didn't even have the decency to post up decent quality jpegs!
Torrie: It wasn't me, I swear!
Dawn-Marie: As if that wasn't enough, you cheap slutty bint, you didn't even have the common courtesy to airbrush my tits up!
Torrie: Take it from me - it's not worth it!

Credit also goes to his Life of Brian spoof. That was awesome.

Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/06.jpg
Cena: God damnit Lt. Dan, you are on my last nerves. Maybe I will leave you out here to die, you unappreciative asshole.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/13.jpg
(8)Oompa, Loompa, Doompity-Doo, I've got a Texas Ranger for you(8)

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/20.jpg
When Vince told Torrie that they usually took care of operations to boost a Diva's "charisma," she went ahead and ordered herself a nosejob. Boy did she regret it.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/21.jpg
Rene: Zat will teach you to wear ze same colors as me to a party, you beetch!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/25.jpg
RVD: Ok, which one of you am I supposed to fight? The guy in blue, the guy in yellow camo, or the little guy with the big nose and the pipe?

Lamuella:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/04.jpg
Cena realised that beating up the little WWE symbol had been a mistake when he came back with his two big brothers and a Frost Giant.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/13.jpg
The fat kid in the suit looked solemn, but inside he cackled with glee. When the hired muscle was finished with them, those bullies would regret the day they called him Lardass.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/15.jpg
With 'taker's help, Nunzio could see right into the sorority shower room. These photos would turn out great!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/19.jpg
After being hit on the head once too often, Torrie earnestly believed that she was a little teapot, short and stout.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/23.jpg
Renee Dupree proved his boast that "My penis is so big it has to wear jeans!"

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/17.jpg
TAKER: Somebody had to get the ref out of the ring. Then I noticed he was sitting on his sweet can. So I licked his sweet can. Ohhhh, just thinking about his can, I wish I had his sweet, sweet, s-s-s-sweet can.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/18.jpg
VOICE: I'm... not... telling... you... anything... you... didn't... already... know!

thuganomicalcrippler:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/05.jpg
"YOU WILL WATCH GIGLI!"


RAW [5-10-2004]
Head:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/05.jpg
"Stone Cold...as your friends, we're worried about you. You've been wearing that wig for 6 weeks straight now. Please Steve, we wouldn't be confronting you about this if we didn't love you."

Nowhere Man:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/05.jpg
Michaels knew he could take all of the referees without any trouble, but when they got the assistant janitors on their side, he had no choice but to back down.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/27.jpg
The Cage Match was well on its way to becoming a classic, when suddenly Christian was assassinated by the notorious Mid-Card Sniper.

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/27.jpg
XIAN: I could have won by going out the door? Boy, is MY face red!

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/01.jpg
Evolution may have played the prank of the century, but they were hardly prepared for Shelton's fury after they'd stolen his pants.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/05.jpg
HBK had no choice. He had to stop ... in the name of love!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/13.jpg
Randy's victory was tarnished by the return of a gigantic Tammy Lynn Sytch.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/14.jpg
Eric: "What's that you have behind your back?"
Regal: "The secret to pushing Eugene after his feud against Conway is over!"
Eric: "Brilliant!"
Regal: "Brilliant!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/17.jpg
Kane: "Sorry to bug you there, Matt ... Lita ... but, have either of you seen my other eye?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/22.jpg
Y2J: "Hey, Problem Solver! What's the square root of 58392?"
Tomko: "Uhhhhh..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/27.jpg
Until he saw the footage, Christian didn't understand why his mom would go into nervous convulsions from seeing his Gatorade ads.

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/03.jpg
Triple H was doing well in the Spelling Bee Finals until he had to spell "credibility."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/09.jpg
The spirit of competition is one thing, but pitting a blonde against an Asian in a calculus contest is just plain unfair.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/23.jpg
Jericho dazzled the audience with his spectacular top cage moonwalking skills.

Vastardikai:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/05.jpg
HBK was gonna have a hard time now that the prison guards have joined forces with the escaped Convicts.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/14.jpg
William: I found a way to keep Eugene in line.
Eric: How's that?
Eugene: Hey, William, I've stuck my hands to my head again!
William: Let's just say that Rhyno owes me one...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/26.jpg
Ref: 18, 298, 9, 234, 90, 69, 4, 29...
Christian: DAMMIT! I lost count! Now I have to start all over again!

Lamuella:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051004/images/20.jpg
In an unannounced cross-promotional move, William Regal brought out the winner of this year's Survivor. And didn't she look lovely?

[Corkscrewed]

SmackDOWN! [5-13-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/03.jpg
At this moment, D-Von thanked his lucky stars for TPWW and their ever-useful invisible crucifix gags.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/07.jpg
"That's right, that's the person who stole my watch. He's also a homo."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/09.jpg
It was a sad day when the Cruiserweight Title was defended by a woman who'd hardly been on TV the past year against a random drunken hobo in the middle of a field were people practiced Falon Gong.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/11.jpg
Charles Robinson's aria didn't wow the pants off of Chavo Classic, so Jacqueline had to step in and do it manually.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/19.jpg
Eddie knew he should be selling this more seriously, but how could you keep a straight face when you were being arrested by William Hung?

Vastardikai:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/21.jpg
Ref: Bob, calm down. He's actually paid his dues.

PorkSoda:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/06.jpg
Rey: This is how many people are going to order Judgement Day on Sunday to watch on Pay Per View

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/20.jpg
JBL: There he is! Lock him up inside his chambored door where the wolves go when they revive their roar! Put him high above the kitchen floor, where the baby stays for a midnight glore. Lock him away above the chambored door, make him squeel like nothing more, and lock him with Stephanie, that baby whore! Quote Bradshaw, nevermore.

trnbuckle:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/02.jpg
D-Von tries for an RVD field goal.

Ferocious:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/16.jpg
Booker: OMG that is the biggest shit I've ever seen
Guy in Crowd: No Booker thats Hardcore Holly

Sascha:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/08.jpg
Guy In Crowd: Why did all the dinosaurs die?
Chavo: Because you touch yourself at night!!

Lamuella:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/16.jpg
Booker regretted asking to see Sable without her makeup.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/22.jpg
Cena realised that beating up a Yakuza member was a mistake, so tried the unconventional tactic of hiding behind his own hand.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/28.jpg
It wasn't so much the amazing array of flips and swings that JBL and Rey did that was so impressive as the fact that they sang showunes in harmony as they did them.

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/11.jpg
It wasn't a pretty job, but SOMEONE had to help Quasimodo get dressed in the mornings.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/12.jpg
What Kurt sees: Eddie Guerrero's bloodthirsty eyes. What Kurt doesn't see: Eddie Guerrero stealing his wallet.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/17.jpg
Undertaker knew better, but --- dammit --- NO ONE in the world could resist the Everlasting Gobstopper.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/051304/images/20.jpg
JBL: "For the last time Eddie ... if you don't want to go to jail, then PULL MY GODDAMNED FINGER!!!"


Judgment Day
trnbuckle:
http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/09.jpg
Sean? What are you still doing up there?

Vastardikai:
http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/08.jpg
Mordecai was caught red handed in his attempt to steal a prop from the Judgement day backdrop.

http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/26.jpg
And Undertaker wins the Dark Side Paper-Rock-Scissors Match.

Nowhere Man:
http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/04.jpg
Unable to wrestlefull-time anymore, Kurt wows the audiences through other means, like shoving the microphone completely up his nose.

http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/08.jpg
YOU.....SHALL NOT.....PASSSS!!!!!

http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/09.jpg
Mordecai sure is an intimidating sight. A huge, powerful, zealous fanatic, who can hold his breath like nobody's business. Hear him. Fear him. Just don't poke his cheeks while he's doing that.

http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/12.jpg
Ref: Put 'er there, pal!
Haas: I can't really do that right now. I'm in the middle of--
Ref: I said put 'er there, pal, and when I say put 'er there, you damn well better PUT 'ER ****ING THERE!!!!
Haas: Allright, allright!
*puts 'er there*

http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/29.jpg
Bradshaw and Eddie entertain the fans by re-enacting every Steven Seagal movie ever.

Fryza:
http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/07.jpg
Charles Robison proved he had more in common with Tony Danza than Torrie would have liked to known.

http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/23.jpg
'Taker figured he could do a Spear better than Goldberg anyday of the week. He also figured wrong.

http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/28.jpg
JBL was having that dream again. He was in a World title match when all of the sudden, his pants disappears.

Corkscrewed:
http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/01.jpg
Rey REALLY didn't appreciate Bubba wearing his ass for a hat.

http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/19.jpg
Deciding his Dead Cowboy look was a bit too stale, Undertaker decided to put Queen Amidala to shame with his own headdress.

http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/25.jpg
Booker's "Rod stuck up your ass inspector" was off to a shaky start with Taker, but he was sure he'd find something once he got to Bradshaw.

http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/31.jpg
Needless to say, after this incident, Bradshaw was fired by the American Red Cross.

gonMad00:
http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/32.jpg
You can do anything to this referee... But if you dirty his shoes... you unleash hell.

MVP:
http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/33.jpg
Eddie: "I'm an internet fan too essa! Do I look like a fat, out-of-shape wannabe?!"

Sascha:
http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/24.jpg
Undertaker did not like being told he couldn't supersize

loopydate:
http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/01.jpg
Burning crosses in the background... being lifted by a pasty white good ol' boy... Rey knew he wasn't in San Diego anymore.

http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/29.jpg
Man! That is one hardcore noogie!

http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/32.jpg
This was the last time Vince would let Quentin Tarantino book a pay-per-view main event.


RAW [5-17-2004]
HBK:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/09.jpg
Matt: *choke* This would be a good time to *choke* remember your lines.

Fryza:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/05.jpg
The Pro-Bush commercial aired on RAW seemed more frightening than planned.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/10.jpg
Kane: You know, you look like this girl I once knew...her name was Katie...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/20.jpg
Hunter: Get back guys, I'll take this one.

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/09.jpg
Lita: "Wow! You did it! Teach me how to properly put away an EZ Fold Chair!!!"

Savior:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/20.jpg
Randy: ok flair take the bling fold off.
*Flair takes it off*
Flair: What this isn't a bunch of women I can flash!
HHH: I know this is an intervention...

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/03.jpg
JR: Bah Gawd! Trish LITERALLY tore off Lita’s head, broke a few ribs, insulted her parents, kicked her dog named Fluffy, shaved her pet gerbil, farted in her general direction, and gave her computer some horrible spy ware!
King: When I was wrestling, we called that a “chin lock...”

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/08.jpg
After this segment Kane suggested that the WWE hires a new beer man so mid-carders won’t get pegged when Kane is thirsty.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/15.jpg
Coach: Don’t worry, you won’t remain a storyline tool forever.
Eugene: Really?
Coach: Yeah, really! Why, in a few weeks you’ll go over to SmackDown, turn heel, and main event at their next PPV.
Eugene: Can’t.
Coach: Why not?
Eugene: Bradshaw is already SmackDown’s retard.

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/02.jpg
Invisible Leprechaun: "You've done grand, lass! Now ya know what ya have ta do! BURN THE RING DOWN! Burn 'em ALL!!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/05.jpg
Gotta hand it to Kane: even after the Ebola virus had devoured half his face, he's still smiling.

Vastardikai:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/09.jpg
Matt wondered which was worse: being choked with a chair, or Lita's hideously off-key rendition of "I Will Always Love You."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/14.jpg
The Crossface hurt, but when Randy's freehand started punching him in the face, the Legend Killer knew his time was up.

thuganomicalcrippler:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/20.jpg
Triple H: Ok, Val, you and Rosey get to work on taking my pants off. Randy, Ric, Dave, you guys will look on and gyrate suggestively. Chris, when the pants are down, do that thing that you did just before our Championship Match. Try and put more bite into it this time. Kane, you are going to be excused, once a day is enough. Rhyno, you're going to be the one who handles my ass cheeks and....why are you laughing?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/25.jpg
RHYNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/02.jpg
Lita's matches have been known to create narcolepsy among wrestling fans. Including Lita.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/09.jpg
KANE: So what's your answer?
LITA: Yesps.
KANE: What?
LITA: Yope.
KANE: I don't--
LITA: Yis! Yas! Yus!
MATT: (Choking to death) Jesus Christ, she even botches saying "Yes."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/20.jpg
As the Evolution promo entered it's fourth day, the RAW locker room said "Enough!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/051704/images/23.jpg
As the "Diesel" music hit, the fans knew that the last seven years were all one big, massive swerve!




SmackDOWN! [5-20-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/07.jpg
Gandalf noted that the Balrog was a lot more impressive last time.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/11.jpg
Chavo had mixed emotions. He'd just won the Cruiserweight Title, but was it really worth becoming a homo?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/14.jpg
The bawling was plenty when both Cena and Dupree found out that Bananas in Pajamas had been cancelled.

thuganomicalcrippler:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/03.jpg
When I find who put postage stamps on my head and tried to airmail me to Botchnia.......

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/08.jpg
Mordecai was shocked. He knew that the WWE was killing the Cruiserweight division, but didn't think they'd do it literally!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/09.jpg
Chavo sighed. Once again, he loses his belt in an intense game of Rock-Paper-Scissors.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/15.jpg
Renee: "Are you so disgusted by ... how you Americans say it ... my Supersize French fry?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/22.jpg
In the match of the night, Eddie takes on Antman.

gonMad00:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/07.jpg
Gandalf: You should have killed me when you had the chances,CHARLES!!....
... wait a minute..

Lamuella
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/14.jpg
Cena and Dupree are told that they can't watch Yu Gi Oh until they finish their homework. They don't take it well.

Xero Limit126:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/16.jpg
Seconds later, Shawn Michaels debuted on SmackDown, kicking the shit out of Funaki for calling God a homo...

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/06.jpg
The new WWE Pull-String Love Dolls had a tendency to be a little overzealous.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/14.jpg
And now, we return to "WWE Midcarders Watching the Undertaker and Kane versus Kronik."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/19.jpg
Yes, it was morphin' time, but...where was the rest of his costume?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/23.jpg
EMT: Check this out, guys! (Deep voice) Eddie? It is not your time... You still have your three-month feud with Hardcore Holly and Billy Gunn to finish...

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/08.jpg
Mordeai's new finisher: the Showtune from Hell.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/12.jpg
"OH MY GOD! IT VIBRATES!"

Sascha:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/12.jpg
This is the last time Chavo Classic accepts favors from Fifi

[Corkscrewed]

RAW [5-24-3004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/05.jpg
Vince's search for the next Cruiserweight champion was going well.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/18.jpg
Bischoff entertains the RAW lockerroom by literally holding down Gary Coleman.

Kane Knight:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/04.jpg
As Triple H waited for the ambulance, he cursed himself sitting in Rhyno's chair.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/07.jpg
Now, Hurricane understood why they were called "Silent But Deadly."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/09.jpg
Orton: Hey Chris.
Jericho: What?
Orton: Did you see Rhyno near my belt backstage?
Jericho: You're stuck, aren't you?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/12.jpg
Hey trish! how do you keep a blonde in suspsense?
[insert same picture 10 more times]

gonMad00:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/07.jpg
Rosie: Shane warned you! He said "stay in the back"! And look what happened?!

Lamuella:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/02.jpg
"The following contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time is EDGE! And his opponent making his way to the ring, is a giant orange cat with glowing blue eyes!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/11.jpg
King and JR were unimpressed by Trish, even when she blew fire out of her nostrils.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/19.jpg
Eugene was the winner of WWE's Biggest Tongue competition for the second month in a row. Suddenly he became much more popular with the womenfolk.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/20.jpg
HHH finally knew the shame Janet Jackson had felt. Curse that Justin Timberlake!

Raising Kane:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/14.jpg
No one in the back wanted to work with Tomko after he debuted his new move..."The Blowjob from Hell".

Savior:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/20.jpg
HHH: I wanna go out there!
Orton: No Hunter you must stay in the back, There's a hurricane coming through.

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/13.jpg
Shelton tried to hold in his lunch when he realized that the old adage was true: white men really couldn't dance.

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/20.jpg
Halfway through his Incredible Hulk transformation, Triple H sees the desert cart, and calms down.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/05.jpg
Vince: Thank You, Fab 5! Your "Queer Eye" make over has done wonders for me!

cream:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/03.jpg
REF: and thats what you get for making that stewardess touch your weiner!

big_bluto:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/05.jpg
Welcome to Vince McMahons new and improved XXXFL, now featuring naked lesbian football players!


SmackDOWN! [5-27-3004]
Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052704/images/main.jpg
Paul: So this is where Vince puts gimmicks that go over too well?
Voice from urn: I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052704/images/main.jpg
Though deep in the heart of Iraq, Heyman smiled. once he planted the weapons of Mass Destruction, it would all be over...

[Corkscrewed]

JUNE

SmackDOWN! [6-3-2004]
c4g2:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/060304/images/main.jpg
Heyman: *speaks to speaker* 1 small pepperoni, please...
Speaker: Mumble mumble telling mumble already mumble...
Heyman: Come again?
*taps the screen*
Speaker: I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/060304/images/main.jpg
PAUL: For the last damned time, these are not the droids you're looking for!

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/060304/images/main.jpg
When Heyman challenged the Dudleyz to make an impact, he didn't mean for them to sign up with NWA-TNA...


RAW [6-7-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/19.jpg
Orton further cements his status as a heel when by stealing Shawn's smile...

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/04.jpg
Let's read everyone's thoughts...
RANDY: Okay, take careful aim. Line up the shot. Swivel the hips, and swing the belt. Easy. You're not going to miss...
RIC: Ah, holding the brother down. This takes me back.
DAVE: [Crickets chirping]
SHELTON: Wow! I could be the next African-American Intercontinental Champion! I could join the elite ranks of Ahmed Johnson, and...uh...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/11.jpg
EDGE: Hmm... Maybe if I allowed people to know more, they might actually know me instead of just thinking they know me...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/18.jpg
Coachman pinched himself. This had to be a dream. Here he was, in a public place, surrounded by retards, uppity Brits, idiot rednecks, and what had to be a 1930s gangster.

PorkSoda:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/04.jpg
Randy: Come on Shelton, read the title. Who's name is printed on it? What does it say?
Shelton: Made In Tawaiin.
Randy: What?

Vega:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/08.jpg
REF: Maybe next time you will listen when I tell you to stay in the back, Albert.

Nowhere Man:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/22.jpg
The Michaels/Triple H feud was heated enough, but things finally reached the breaking point when Hunter brought that paintball gun to the ring.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/23.jpg
Compared to "The Game," "The Legend Killer," and especially "The Nature Boy," being hailed "The Disco King" just isn't quite as cool.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/24.jpg
HBK took particular offense when Orton accused him of foul play the day he helped Marty jump through that window.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/26.jpg
Michaels was in charge of bringing the furniture to the Evolution Mass Suicide. Unfortunately, he showed up a little late.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/13.jpg
What's that? Egad! A comet is about to hit the Earth! Chris Benoit, AWAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!

Fryza:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/11.jpg
Benoit: You sure this will work?
Edge: Trust me, the beached whale is the most feared animal alive.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/26.jpg
HBK: OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED EVERYONE! IT'S LIKE A HOLOCAUST! DAVE, DAVE, SPEAK TO ME!
Dave: ...huh..wha..
*HBK slams the chair onto Dave, sending him unconscience*
HBK: DAVE, SPEAK TO ME!

Loose Cannon:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/06.jpg
Rock: You didn't happen to see my newest movie did you?
Girl: No
Rock: Me neither.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/14.jpg
Benoit: Why are we fighting again?
Kane: Cause I'm in love with Lita
Benoit: Wait, What?

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/09.jpg
Chris Benoit was faced with a hard task tonight… but it was worth it… All he had to do was find who stole Sylvain’s and Rob’s pants, and he could have the titles.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/22.jpg
HBK seriously takes a moment to question his faith when the stigmata sets in…

Mayo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/03.jpg
Now the answer to the long pondered question "What happens when The Hulk has an orgasm?".

Joey Radd:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/02.jpg
"Who put the dead horse in the ring?"

gonMad00:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/13.jpg
Benoit: DAMN YOU, KAL-EL!!
:flies into crystal prison and floats away for eternity:

Kane Knight:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/04.jpg
Evolution tries to recreate the "Bradshaw Shower Scene."


SmackDOWN! [6-10-2004]
Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/05.jpg
Nick: No! Chavo! Don’t do it! I don’t want the spoilers!
Chavo: But I must find out who he is!
Rey: For the last time I’m NOT Spiderman!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/08.jpg
Bradshaw botches eating.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/09.jpg
The ref was relatively unimpressed with the debut of the “Little Under Two Minute Warning.”

Savior:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/15.jpg
Shit I locked my keys in the car.

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/08.jpg
Layfield's contract stated that his push only lasted as long as his stock tips earned money.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/13.jpg
"John, you're down by fifty-three points. Why not just give up?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/17.jpg
Heyman: That's funny. When the kids on TV scream "It's Morphin' Time!" it always seems to work.

Innovator
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/04.jpg
I know Rey likes to interact with the fans, but jumping into a fan's arms is just too much

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/18.jpg
Undertaker does a killer "Loose Cannon meeting Randy Orton" impression

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/08.jpg
At the time of his despicable actions in Munich, Bradshaw could never have anticipated the fury of Jewish Romaine Lettuce everywhere.

OR

Cameraman: "Dammit Bradshaw! Didn't I tell you not open the door to peek at the salad dressing???"

Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/06.jpg
Chavo Jr: Dad, are you SURE it vibrates?

Bricktop:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/08.jpg
After years of wasted pushes, Vince finally learns his lesson; you can't fix a broken wrestler that someone else threw out. Bradshaw was then returned to the dumpster in which Vince found him.

big_bluto:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/04.jpg
Rey thought the guy in the front row with the white T-shirt was ready to catch him, so it came as a huge surprise to learn that he was actually doing Lemmings II impressions.

XeroLimit126:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/01.jpg
Taker's druids had been out of work since March... They were desperate for work, but didnt expect to carry the debuting Kenzo through the match...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/08.jpg
The fridge at Pee Wee's Playhouse didnt take too kindly to Bradshaw's actions...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/14.jpg
Dupree was pissed... He KNEW Cena was out by a mile a way... But the ref thought otherwise...

PorkSoda:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/17.jpg
Paul Heyman: Wow! A Chartaker! Go Pokeball!

Mayo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/01.jpg
The ancient centennial sacrifice of the best Japanese warrior to the alien spaceship was about to commence.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/08.jpg
Bradshaw microwaves his salad for a few seconds to make it soggier, but he should have taken the metal fork out first.

Alienoid06:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/01.jpg
Kenzo Suzuki's gimmick of being proud of his Japanese cultural roots was fine, until the WWE brought in the new Japanese tactical assault planes complete with optical neautralising lasers, and "Goku" fired a Spirit Bomb into the crowd.


Bad Blood
Always450:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/20.jpg
The dual spinaroonie contest was tragic to say the least.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/26.jpg
Dave: Hey Trips… Ric and I have something to tell you…
HHH: What is it?
Ric: Well… We… like you….
HHH: That’s cool. I like you two also.
Dave: No… We like, like you.
HHH: …
Ric: This just got awkward, didn’t it?
HHH: Yep.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/28.jpg
HBK: Well, I’ve lost my smile… HHH is going to go back to feud with whoever in the hell has the world title, and I’m going to hide in the cave of solitude… So you in three months!

gonMad00:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/11.jpg
The girls couldn't understand it. Why was Jessica Simpson there and why did she continously ask why is it a Chicken Wing if there are no chickens.

Nowhere Man:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/05.jpg
Kane didn't take it too well when he found out Edge hadn't been flossing.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/12.jpg
Right in the middle of the Women's Title match, Mike Chioda heard a transmission from the Alliance Fleet, and jumped to hyperspace to help the Rebel fighters at Endor.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/15.jpg
Eugene's gimmick took a turn for the worse when Vince decided that a wrestling retard wouldn't draw, but a wrestling retarded zombie would.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/21.jpg
Michaels was pissed that WWE cut costs and only built the top three feet of the cage for their match. More impressive, though, was the fact that they were able to keep it in the air like that.
HBK: Just how the hell are they doing that?
Benoit: Ancient Canadian secret....*snickers*

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/22.jpg
In retrospect, both men should have realized it was a bad idea to have shoot match with Jericho.

loopydate:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/08.jpg
Shelton and Randy's interpretive dance, while appreciated by purists, left the masses scratching their heads.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/10.jpg
RHYNO (backstage): :lol:

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/18.jpg
When people talked about Vince requiring Benoit to jump through hoops to retain the title, I don't think this is what they had in mind.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/21.jpg
P.A.: This is not a drill! The bottom has fallen out of the cage! Sean O'Haire is loose! Repeat, Sean O'Haire is loose!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/24.jpg
The Supernovakick gets 'em every time.

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/16.jpg
Eugene had this match won until Coach summoned up his powers and hit the Static Shock.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/21.jpg
That's weird, Shawn thought, usually the glass ceiling is invisible...

Kane Knight:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/05.jpg
That was the last time anyone would cut in front of Kane at Space Mountain...

big_bluto:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/25.jpg
HHH, The Game, The Cerebral Assasin, meant it when he warned Shawn that he was going to 'Fuck With His Head'

[Corkscrewed]

RAW [6-14-2004]
Back Stabbbed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/061404.jpg
Benoit does his George Bush/pretzel impression.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/10.jpg
Lita: Lets see - Means no baby. + means baby. = means hand.

Mayo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/05.jpg
Once the centaur got onto its back, it was really tough to get upright again.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/07.jpg
Wow, the Repo Man really let himself go.

Raising Kane:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/14.jpg
The first annual WWE Twister Tournament ended in disaster when Stacy’s boot got caught in Gail’s hair and in retaliation Gail decided to remove Stacy’s head.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/19.jpg
To make sure the wrestlers were well rested for their matches, the WWE instituted a mandatory afternoon nap.

Krow:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/07.jpg
The writers grew tired of S.H.I.T., but were certain that Rosey's new S.C.A.T. gimmick would go over well.

big_bluto:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/16.jpg
Mike: What's this one called.
Flair: Here it's called a blowjob. Backstage it's called a main-event push!

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/13.jpg
The first ever Rocky Horror Picture Show Match was a resounding success.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/19.jpg
Tragedy struck when Flair Tony Danza'ed Benoit.

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/07.jpg
Rosey: W-O-R-M!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/08.jpg
Another victim of hearing Vince’s logic for pushing JBL.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/21.jpg
Chris: So Ric, do you promise not to make people touch your no-no zone?
Ric: Hell no!
Ref: *SMACK!*
Chris: Let’s try this again… Do you promise not to make people touch your no-no zone?


SmackDOWN! [6-17-2004]
El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/01.jpg
Trying yet again to show that they can make an impact, Bubba Ray --- the new World's Strongest Man --- tows the entire wrestling ring backstage.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/05.jpg
The Mafia delivers a warning to their nemesis, Count Dracula.

Innovator:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/11.jpg
Rey: STOP!
*Rey stops in mid-air*
Rey:....Hammer time!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/12.jpg
Rey Mysterio, new "find the cream filling" champion

MVP:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/10.jpg
Eddie: "You can't wrestle for shit essa!"
Bradshaw: "Hey wrestling is just as easy as tieing a tie."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/18.jpg
Taker was furious when he found out that Paul Heyman stole his eyebrows.

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/06.jpg
The Bashams' initiations had become increasingly bizarre.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/16.jpg
The WWE's rendition of Peter Pan flopped when Dupree learned he couldn't fly after all.

Edge:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/08.jpg
Spike: Kenzo, I have something to tell you
Kenzo: Mysterio?
SPike: I have been sleeping with your wife
Kenzo: MYSTERIO !!!!!
Spike: Honestly, can you stop with the MYSTERIO please
Kenzo: Mysterio?

big_bluto:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/05.jpg
This is what happens when you break Kayfabe. The coffin should never have talked!

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/14.jpg
Uncle Sam's Extreme Makeover was spectacular, to say the least.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/10.jpg
Bradshaw: "'Word life, this is basic shrubanomics?' What the heck is that supposed to mean???"

Cooler Tom Schuler:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/04.jpg
"I've got more talent in my finger than...wait, nevermind, there it goes."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/07.jpg
In an amazing moment, three different fans came up with great ideas at the same time.

parkamania:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061704/images/08.jpg
Suzuki: Hold your head up and PROJECT! Now, once again...
Spike: BanZAAAAAII!
Suzuki: Better.


RAW [6-21-2004]
Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/05.jpg
Trish: Hey Victoria, I’m cold… Why don’t you warm me up?
Victoria: Sorry Trish, ever since I lost the hot psycho gimmick I’ve also lost my heat.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/18.jpg
“When it comes crashin’ down and it hurts inside! Dun dun dun du nu nu nu! You gotta take a stand it don’t help to hide!!! Dun dun dun du… what do ya mean the camera is on?”

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/19.jpg
She meant to kiss Matt’s little boo-boo on his finger tip.
She ended up biting it off.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/20.jpg
When breast feeding goes horribly wrong.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/17.jpg
Moments after this shot was taken Lita leanred NOT to stand too close to someone who who is about to do a spinaroonie.

Vega:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/19.jpg
Then Matt realized. They hadn't had sex yet!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/23.jpg
That was the last time Benoit and Eugene would play musical chairs with Triple H.

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/07.jpg
Trish puts male wrestlers everywhere to shame by kicking out so hard Victoria actually flips

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/09.jpg
Everyone agreed it was sweet of Tazz to want to do something special to welcome Regal back to the active roster, but unleashing his battle aura wasn't what most had in mind.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/20.jpg
This was digusting. I mean, pretending to be his friend was bad enough, but did Triple H really have to convince Eugene that he was Barney?

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/02.jpg
Rock: "Let me ask you this, Orton: Where the hell are the Rock's $500 shirts?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/03.jpg
The Rock would have stayed longer, but it was League Night, and his bowling team wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/10.jpg
Arrived at ring. Accidentally stepped in path of oncoming marathon. Kane have bad day.

Mayo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/03.jpg
Security: Show us where you saw the escaped prisoner hiding.
Rock: Okay follow me... O'Haire's not really dangerous, right?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/09.jpg
Regal: They still haven't found that O'Haire? This siren is getting bloody annoying!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/11.jpg
Ref: Inigo Montoya, I'm sorry to tell you that your father is dead.
Kane: Where is the six fingered man???

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/19.jpg
Macaulay Culkin has a new look for his latest movie 'Home Alone 10: Lost At The Strip Club'.

Raising Kane:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/11.jpg
Kane was unimpressed with Regal's impersonation of Al Wilson.

#1-wwf-fan:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/16.jpg
IT'S PRONOUNCED LA-SHAY! NOT LATCH-EY, NOT LACK-EY... LA-SHAY!!!

big_bluto:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/17.jpg
Matt: Lita, I'm starting to get sick of telling you!
Lita: Sorry, Matt.
Matt: If you're gonna wear mens trousers, you have to do up the zipper!
Lita: Sorry, Matt.
Matt: And stop saying Sorry Matt every 2 seconds!
Lita: Sorry, Matt. Dammit, I wasn't meant to say Sorry, Matt, was I? Sorry, Matt......Dammit!
Matt: Do you know what I have in my hand here?
Lita: Is it a ring, Matt?
Matt: No, it's a clue! Get one!
Lita: Sorry, Matt.
Matt: :nono:


SmackDOWN! [6-24-2004]
gonMad00:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/20.jpg
Luther: I didn't know that one wasn't marsh--
Angle: AAHHH! You know I could only afford one--ahh..

The Critic:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/05.jpg
The storm, dubbed "Hurricane Hunter," seemed to go straight for the cruiserweights as it began its path of destruction...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/11.jpg
The Abominable Snowman was pissed. Where WAS the cream filling?

Coldwaver:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/07.jpg
Turns out someone had covered the 'buckle with cocaine...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/10.jpg
Heyman laughs sinisterly: he had just stolen the plans to make the world's first working TIE fighter.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/11.jpg
Gimme back the last five commandments, you bastard!!!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/14.jpg
Do not make fun of Yu-gi-oh in front of Kenzo.

Savior:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/11.jpg
Mordecai: Your talent is mine!......Thats funny I don't feel any different.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/07.jpg
Tension mounted as the staring contest between Jamie Noble and Jimmy the Flea reached its ninth hour.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/13.jpg
Well, the ref HAD wanted to know if Kenzo smoked after sex...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/20.jpg
Kurt: "WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Bring them back!!!"
Luther: "I'm sorry! I didn't *mean* to tape over your Powerpuff Girl episodes!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/25.jpg
Renee: "Mon dieu! So ZIS is where Zach Gowen's other leg has bien!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/11.jpg
"Dammit Holly. When I say you shall not pass, you DON'T! FUCKING! PASS!!!"

Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/16.jpg
And somewhere out there some pimp is standing on the corner, wondering where the hell his ride is.

c4g2:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/05.jpg
The search for Paul Bearer continues.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/19.jpg
Eddie: Shit! I shouldn't have backed England to win!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/28.jpg
Worst. Gore. Ever.

Bo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/31.jpg
Being the rebel as always Cena refused to be like the ref and Undertaker by not following the instructions on the sign behind them.
ver:
...actually, Cena was just the only one smart enough to realize that the sign didn't say "Simon Says."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/16.jpg
Venue Owner: What the hell did he do to the Zamboni?!?!?!

Krypton Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/20.jpg
Luther felt absolutely awful about accidentally giving Kurt some 'Kevin Nash Kool-Aid' before the match.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/062404/images/12.jpg
Kenzo: "I did it, for The Rock."

[Corkscrewed]

The Great American Bash
The Naitch:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/42.jpg
Apparently, Paul Bearer is not a big fan of oatmeal

Tornado:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/39.jpg
Eddie: "Oh crap..the Jedi's are really going to feel this one"

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/12.jpg
Rey Mysterio: yet another victim of Kevin Kool-Aid.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/19.jpg
Torrie: "Oooh, Funaki, are you checking out my ass? Teehee!"
Funaki: "Yeah, I figure that's where your acting skills come from..."

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/20.jpg
Even though he was in the middle of a match, Billy Gunn couldn't resist calling for a martini--shaken, not stirred.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/29.jpg
Billy: "Hey, c'mon! *punch* Can't ya just lemme *punch* pass? *punch* Pleeeeeeease??? *twack*"

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/42.jpg
Offscreen: "But Paul! The oatmeal will help lower your cholesterol!"
Bearer: "LOWER cholesterol? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/33.jpg
After Eddie lost the title and reverted back to alcholism, the writers took the hint and had him unveil his new gimmick: Ed "The Extra-Long Garden Snake" Guerroberts.

gonMad00:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/31.jpg
Mordecai: Pull my finger,Sean.
O'Haire: I'm not telling you any-
Mordecai: I didn't ask for a psalm! Pull it!

Raising Kane:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/14.jpg
Chavo didn't think it would be THIS hard to help Rey figure out how to do a cartwheel.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/50.jpg
I wonder what this lever does... oh shit.
*whistles as he walks away*

Always450:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/02.jpg
That was a lot more impressive when Vader did it.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/13.jpg
Chavo: One week you’re Spider Man, and the next week you’re the Silver Surfer! Who are you?

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/32.jpg
JBL: FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT A NAZI! THE FUEHRER WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR THAT!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/34.jpg
The red cross feels awfully silly for giving JBL a second chance at his job with the blood bank.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/46.jpg
Taker: AND THAT’S FOR STEALING MY FUGGIN’ CREAM FILLING!!!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/39.jpg
Belty:NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!


RAW [6-28-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/01.jpg
Hunter: "That's right! If you join the Nazi party, we'll make YOU the next WWE Champion in two months!"
Eugene: "Yay!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/08.jpg
Batista: "Randy? You okay? I told you not to try Lita's version of a drop kick!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/10.jpg
The Great Donut Scramble was one of the all-time classic segments on RAW.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/12.jpg
Eugene: "My wrist's a homo?"
Regal: "No, that man's a homo!"
Brock Lesnar: "Homos? KILLLLLLLLLLLL!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/14.jpg
Eugene demonstrates his "Brock Lesnar meeting a homosexual internet geek" impression.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/15.jpg
"Heh heh heh... nothing better than some cream filling with a glass of Evolution Kool-Aid!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/16.jpg
A bitter referee Mike Chioda had the company logo tattooed on his anus so that everytime his boyfriends were around, they could fuck the WWE.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/20.jpg
Benoit: "If I'm getting buried next month, I'm taking you down with me!!!"
Kane: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/09.jpg
Jericho: Come on Ref! Clean pin here! Trying to restore my credibility!
Ref: Be quite Chris! Lassie is trying to tell me something! What’s that girl… Jimmy is stuck in a burning well? LET’S GO!

gonMad00:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/07.jpg
Jericho Ranger : COME! LIONZORD ACTIVATE!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/thegreatamericanbash/images/52.jpg
Bearer: Um..guys?..hello? I'm still here...

Raising Kane:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/18.jpg
His reply to the casual forum “Post your orgasm face” thread…

Mayo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/08.jpg
Batista: Randy, get up. You don't have to try so hard, you are already almost identical to The Rock.
Orton: If I could just get this nip up thing right...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/11.jpg
HHH: Now listen Eugene, you have the grip down perfectly, but thats not what I told you to play with.
Regal: :nono:

[Corkscrewed]

APRIL'S MOST POPULAR CAPTIONS:
Fryza:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/040804/images/03.jpg
Scotty: IT'S MORPHING TIME!

Savior:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/15.jpg
JR: ROCK BOTTOM!

Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
Triple H: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CRAP. Unbelievable. How DARE you have leaves greener than my face.
Tree: ...
Triple H: Look at me when I'm talking to you, you jobbing piece of shit.

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg
GAIL: As the future World Women's Champion, I encourage you from time to time - and always in a respectful manner - to critique my matches. If you're unconvinced that a particular move I've used is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up the fact that I'm a Canadian being announced as "from Korea" as a negative is - I collect your ****ing arm. Just like this ****er here. Now, if any of you botchtastic bitches got anything else to say, NOW'S THE ****ING TIME! I didn't think so.


MAY'S MOST POPULAR CAPTIONS:
Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/12.jpg
"OH MY GOD! IT VIBRATES!"

Savior:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/20.jpg
HHH: I wanna go out there!
Orton: No Hunter you must stay in the back, There's a hurricane coming through.

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/050604/images/18.jpg
VOICE: I'm... not... telling... you... anything... you... didn't... already... know!

Nowhere Man:
http://judgmentday.wwe.com/matches/post_jday/images/08.jpg
YOU.....SHALL NOT.....PASSSS!!!!!


JUNE'S MOST POPULAR CAPTIONS:
loopydate:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/21.jpg
P.A.: This is not a drill! The bottom has fallen out of the cage! Sean O'Haire is loose! Repeat, Sean O'Haire is loose!

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/14.jpg
Eugene demonstrates his "Brock Lesnar meeting a homosexual internet geek" impression.

Back Stabbed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/10.jpg
Lita: Lets see - Means no baby. + means baby. = means hand.

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/060704/images/11.jpg
EDGE: Hmm... Maybe if I allowed people to know more, they might actually know me instead of just thinking they know me...

Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/061004/images/08.jpg
Bradshaw botches eating.


Caption of the Year Qualifiers:
Loose Cannon:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/012904/images/04.jpg
Kurt, "Wow, what's this golden box"
Heyman, "Well that's where Vince keeps his buried gimmicks. Go ahead Dawn, open her up."
Voice from Box, "I'm not telling you anything you don't already know."

Rock Bottom:
http://www.wrestlemania.com/wm_xx_results/images/55.jpg
Benoit: TAP OUT TRIPLE H!
Triple H: NEVER! Why in the HELL would I job the gold to you cleanly at Mania and sell that weak move!? I AM THE GAME!
Benoit: Look Triple H. A spider on the mat right under your right hand!
Triple H: OMG KILL IT! KILL IT! I AM AFRAID OF SPIDERS! (Pounding the mat profusely)

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/052004/images/12.jpg
"OH MY GOD! IT VIBRATES!"

loopydate:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/badblood/images/21.jpg
P.A.: This is not a drill! The bottom has fallen out of the cage! Sean O'Haire is loose! Repeat, Sean O'Haire is loose!

Sascha:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
You mean there's a whole OTHER roster to be buried???\

Savior:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/041204/images/15.jpg
JR: ROCK BOTTOM!

Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
Triple H: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CRAP. Unbelievable. How DARE you have leaves greener than my face.
Tree: ...
Triple H: Look at me when I'm talking to you, you jobbing piece of shit.

Corkscrewed:
http://www.wwesmackdown.com/results/010804/images/33.jpg
Holly: "Stupid. Chair. Dammit... Easy-Fold my ass!"

Savior:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/052404/images/20.jpg
HHH: I wanna go out there!
Orton: No Hunter you must stay in the back, There's a hurricane coming through.

Back Stabbed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/10.jpg
Lita: Lets see - Means no baby. + means baby. = means hand.

[Corkscrewed]

*whew! updated through all of SmackDOWN! last thursday! I got the thread at exactly 15000 characters! :D

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through SD! 4.15.2004

[Savio]

Wait what does the blue mean?

[Rock Bottom]

Caption of the Month canditate.

[Savio]

Woof!

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through SD! of this week (my second batch not included... so pick my best ones BITCHES!!!) :p

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through April. Please vote for Caption of the Month (http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=11761). :)

Thanks to Savior for saving CotM!

[Savio]

Yes I beleive that means I give the honorary 5 point lead right?

[Corkscrewed]

Give the five point lead? Sure. In fact, give them to me. :D

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through RAW 5/3 and SD! 5/6. We also have our first CotM nomination. If there are any other ones that people feel should be, go ahead and suggest them. ;)

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through last week's RAW and SmackDOWN!

I just browsed through the archive and I realized that two of our very popular running gags, the invisible crucifix and the Sean O'Haire in a cage, were both done on the January 5th episode of RAW. :lol:

Just thought that was interesting.

[Savio]

No smack down! pics :(

[Azriel]

I know. wassupwitdat?

Oh, btw, Cork, I feel honored that I finally got some of my captions on here. You rock. :y:

[Corkscrewed]

Vote for May Caption of the Month (http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=13949)!!!

[FourFifty]

I gotta be honest. Take off my caption with Paul Haymen holding the urn. I just realized that someone else did that joke a few months ago with the gimmicks that go over to well in the golden box. It's not my joke, but as pleased as I am to be one of the two people to get a caption for the SmackDown without pics, I can't take credit.

[Back Stabbed]

Thread: Update me corky.....please![/high voice]

[FourFifty]

Thread: Update me corky.....please![/high voice]

<font color=cyan>
Ha! Two vs One! Now you HAVE to update it, so :p

Seriously, thanks for all your hard work with this, you are the man, and I'm NOT saying that to kiss ass so some of my lame captions can be posted :naughty:

[c4g2]

I finally have a caption mentioned by Corky in June!!! :D

I love you Corky :love:

[Corkscrewed]

caught up through last Monday! *phew!*

[Savio]

RAW [6-14-2004]
Back Stabbbed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/061404.jpg
Benoit does his George Bush/pretzel impression.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/10.jpg
Lita: Lets see - Means no baby. + means baby. = means hand.

Wooo I got 2 up there.

[Corkscrewed]

Oops... musta been a mistake. Gotta go take those too off.. :p

[Gone Mad]

I have to point a mistake. The last Bad Blood pic is not mine (I wish it was,it was funny as hell) about "f*cking with you head".Credit must be giving to original poster.

[FourFifty]

<font color=blue>
<img src=http://badblood.wwe.com/gallery/images/22.jpg>
In retrospect, both men should have realized it was a bad idea to have shoot match with Jericho.




<img src=http://badblood.wwe.com/gallery/images/21.jpg><font color=blue>
P.A.: This is not a drill! The bottom has fallen out of the cage! Sean O'Haire is loose! Repeat, Sean O'Haire is loose!

<font color=cyan>
Okay, let's not fool anyone... Caption of the month is gonna be a one on one race. :rofl: Alas, I shall never win.

[Savio]

<font color=cyan>
Okay, let's not fool anyone... Caption of the month is gonna be a one on one race. :rofl: Alas, I shall never win.
:foc:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/061404/images/10.jpg
Lita: Lets see - Means no baby. + means baby. = means hand.

[Mayo]

I'm honored to be nominated :)

Thanks for the recognition Cork. There are so many better captions than mine. I bow down to the usual caption suspects Corky, Nowhere Man, El Santo, Kane Knight, and Loopydate. These guys are great week after week.

[Cooler Tom Schuler]

Shameless bump.

[Corkscrewed]

Gotcha catch up... don't worry Tom, I'll get you in, along with a horde of others. Last week and this week's SD! caps have been amazing. Raw was good, but the SD! caps were like.. platinum.

[Corkscrewed]

updated through post #20 of SD! 6/24 captions

[Raising Kane]

Pssst

The Macaulay Culkin one was Mayo's not mine. :kiss:

[Mayo]

Pssst

The Macaulay Culkin one was Mayo's not mine. :kiss:

Thanks for the credit, RK. Any ordinary woman would have taken all of the glory for herself ;)

[Corkscrewed]

Crud... anyone care to do some work for me and tell me who gets credit for the captions that I gave the wrong credits to?

Sorry.

[Raising Kane]

Post #87 (last pic)
The one GonMad00 says wasn't his... is big_bluto's

gonMad00:
http://badblood.wwe.com/gallery/images/25.jpg

HHH, The Game, The Cerebral Assasin, meant it when he warned Shawn that he was going to 'Fuck With His Head'

Post #88
Gave me credit but it belongs to Mayo


http://raw.wwe.com/results/062104/images/19.jpg
Macaulay Culkin has a new look for his latest movie 'Home Alone 10: Lost At The Strip Club'.

Those were the two I saw mentioned. Dunno why the BB pic didn't load though. At least for me... weird.


<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through June. CotM will come in a day or two, but look for the Qualifying round for Caption of the Year. The twenty four qualifiers will be narrowed down to ten, which will go onto the Caption of the Year tournament. Nominees for the Qualifying Round are listed in the "Best Captions of [insert month here]" posts on page 1 and 3.

[Corkscrewed]

Okay, fixed. Thanks RK!!! :love:


Crap, they moved the Bad Blood pics. I hope they didn't do that for all the PPV pics, but if they did, I gotta redo all of them. :(

[Raising Kane]

Okay, fixed. Thanks RK!!! :love:


Crap, they moved the Bad Blood pics. I hope they didn't do that for all the PPV pics, but if they did, I gotta redo all of them. :(

NP :D

Figures they'd move them. :( Hopefully it was just that batch.

[Savio]

Vote for me RK if you don't I will spirtually kill you! :lol: :shifty: :wavesad: :$ :love: :drool: ;) :heart:

[Corkscrewed]

^ How NOT to hit on a woman. ;)

[Savio]

So RK how about we go back to my place kill a lamb smear its blood all over us then have sex on a bunch of mouse traps?

[Raising Kane]

So RK how about we go back to my place kill a lamb smear its blood all over us then have sex on a bunch of mouse traps?:wtf: As lovely as that sounds... I think I'll pass. BTW... If you kill me I will haunt you for all eternity. ;)

:kiss: Corky... Thanks for including mine in here. I am honored.

[FourFifty]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/062804/images/15.jpg
"Heh heh heh... nothing better than some cream filling with a glass of Evolution Kool-Aid!"


:'(<font color=cyan>Why isn't this one on this page? Dude, it's funny as hell... Okay, that is so gonna be my new sig!

[Corkscrewed]

You really think that was hilarious? Okay, I guess I"ll add it in.

I still can't believe the "cream filling" thing has caught on. It's so random! :lol: Not that I mind... now I actually have a running gag that's mine. ;) (please don't stop using it)

[Corkscrewed]

Go vote for June Caption of the Month!
http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=15939

And congratulate me for actually making it halfway through this whole caption archive thingy. Only six more months to go! :D

Also, repping is highly welcomed, if possible. :D

[FourFifty]

You really think that was hilarious? Okay, I guess I"ll add it in.

I still can't believe the "cream filling" thing has caught on. It's so random! :lol: Not that I mind... now I actually have a running gag that's mine. ;) (please don't stop using it)

<font color=cyan>Well I'm gonna use it as my sig anywho... if you don't mind. It's funny because it's random. I was at work today and someone asked me what isle the "kool-aid and the little cakes with the cream filling" are... Dude, they wanted cream filling and kool-aid! :D

[Corkscrewed]

lol! it's cool. I'm a big fan of random humor. ;)

[Corkscrewed]

July

SmackDOWN! [7-1-2004]
c4g2:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/26.jpg
HEADLINES: WWE fan suffers from stroke after watching the Great American Bash.

PorkSoda:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/01.jpg
Ever since JBL became president of the USA, the ratings of the White House have gone down.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/02.jpg
Bradshaw greets the Baby With the World's Largest Mullet.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/04.jpg
The WWE production of Peter Pan was huge hit except for the casting glitch on the part of Wendy.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/20.jpg
And now, The WWE Vault brings you the historic beginning to that classic feud between a young Ric Flair and Cheech Martin.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/22.jpg
Brock: "Don't you ever take off your shirt in front of me again, you gay sicko!!!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/29.jpg
JBL: "I realized that earlier on my show, you insulted me. Now you shall pay!" *gets out bazooka*
Eddie: "Um...your shoes are untied!"
JBL: "From this view they appeared to be tied, but I will move in for a closer inspection."
*Six hours later after Eddie's gotten in a Taxi to the airport...*
JBL: "Upon further inspection, these are loafers.

Transplant:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/02.jpg
JBL: who's a boo? who's a booboojooboo?
Baby: Im Not Telling You Anything You..
JBL: WHA?
gonMad00:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/24.jpg
Kenzo: So he's responsible for the downfall of the new Star Wars movies! Thanks, Amidala... or something.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/26.jpg
Bradshaw: Bring out your dead!
Spike: I'm not dead. Actually,I feel quite better. I feel happy, I feel - (STOMP!)

Kane Knight:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/04.jpg
WWE Swan Lake was a smash hit until RVD's Ballet shoes got caught in Booker's dreads.

Fryza:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/13.jpg
"And now we'll go to our Mexican in the sky for the weather. Mexican?..."

RAW [7-5-2004]
The Playa:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/36.jpg
HHH: No Eugene, you don't understand, I retired Cactus Jack. There is no more Cactus Jack
Eugene: But Ric said he wa....
HHH: Nevermind what Ric said
Ric: BANG BANG!
HHH: Ric damn it, stop it.

MVP:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/02.jpg
Coach should've learned his lesson the first time he tried to drink from the Tajiri fountain.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/19.jpg
Molly knew she couldn't compete with Gail Kim's pole dancing abilities.

Mayo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/07.jpg
It was yet another bad move by the WWE when they hired Lita to spellcheck the signs on everyone's office.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/08.jpg
Both men lost every shred of dignity when Vince forced them to Eskimo kiss on national TV.

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/02.jpg
You would think that by now Tajiri would know how to hold his sake.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/14.jpg
Jericho's gravity-defying spear was still a wonder to behold.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/15.jpg
Dave took it pretty hard when he heard they were out of chocolate cake.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/19.jpg
Is it just me, or did they used to try harder to keep the Oscar ballots secret?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/23.jpg
Chris Benoit's new Doctor Octopus gimmick might have worked better if they'd given him cooler arms.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/26.jpg
This photograph proves that, yes, Edge does throw the best damned supersonic spear in the business.

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/09.jpg
Ref: "What's wrong with him?"
Batista: "He's been like that ever since the Lita pregancy storyline."
Ref: "Really? Wow."
Batista: "Yeah. Just sits there all day, watching Maury Povich. That's all he does."
Ref: "Such a shame... and he was really such a nice boy before, too."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/10.jpg
Matt: "Inigo Montoya! They've shot you!!!"
Kane: ....
Matt: "Who did this to you????"
Kane: ....
Matt: "SPEAK TO ME!!!!"
Kane: ....
Matt: "DAMN YOU SIX FINGERED MAN!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/11.jpg
When you didn't use Listerine, the consequences were quite severe.

deadlyheaven:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/03.jpg
Ric: WOOOOOOOO!
*Strutting Ric*
Jericho: Ric, you lost.
Ric: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Ric still strutting*
Tomco: No, really Naitch. You've been eliminated.
Ric: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/13.jpg
This match was rather difficult for Jericho; not only did he have to deal with Randy Orton, but he also had to worry about the referee and his history of sexual assaualt.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/32.jpg
Benoit: Aw how cute, look at the little retarded kid playing with the cha...
*Knocked out cold*

big_bluto:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/18.jpg
Orton's push was getting ridiculous now.
He didn't even have to fully enter the ring before the pin was getting counted.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/23.jpg
WWE would like to issue a product recall on the following product:
Rabid Wolverine Chris Benoit Action Figure
When used in proximity to HHH figure, the benoit action figure has a tendency to fall over, and may injure small children.
Please return to the retail outlet you purchased from where a full refund will be given.
*please note that WWE accepts no responsibility for broken characters, storylines, or poor quality products.

Savior:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/11.jpg
The WWE re-acts the way Mary-Kate Olsen is fed.

Raising Kane:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/15.jpg
But Daddy!!! I don't want to take a nap!

Kane Knight:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/02.jpg
This is why you don't grab Tajiri's crotch.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/19.jpg
The catwoman promos were gettig ridiculous.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/25.jpg
O-Benoit Kenobe: Use the Force, Chris.
Edge: But I'm not Jericho.
Benoit: You're not? Damn. Maybe Hunter had a point about the hair after all.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/070504/images/32.jpg
"I take it back! Charmander is WAY better than Pikachu!"


SmackDOWN! [7-8-2004]
Fryza:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070804/images/16.jpg
So this is how they keep getting into the damned country..

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070804/images/12.jpg
That was, without a doubt, THE most devastating noogie ever delivered on live television.

Savior:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070804/images/16.jpg
JBL: Where'd those nigg*rs go?

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070804/images/09.jpg
SATAN: Bring me a sweater, dammit!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070804/images/10.jpg
The display of sportsmanship was nice, but...Stamboli calling them all homos kinda stole the spotlight. Especially when Brock came in and killed all four of them (and Holly for going on the Internet).

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070804/images/23.jpg
PAUL: It was the best of times...it was the blurst of times?!?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070804/images/27.jpg
On today's edition of WWE Olympic Theatre: The 1992 Winter Olympic Figure Skating qualifying.
CENA: Why? (Sob) Whyyyyyy?

Vastardikai:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070804/images/15.jpg
JBL: What do you mean I can't Goose Step here?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070804/images/27.jpg
Someone in the front row was impressed by Kurt Angle's Erection...

WWE Vengeance
Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/21.jpg
Eugene does his best Hardcore-Holly-When-He-Doesn't-Get-What-He-Wants impression.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/24.jpg
Much to his glee, Steven Richards found out his new Ass Darts worked like a charm.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/27.jpg
Kane should have known better than to trust Lita with the redesign of his mask.
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/45.jpg
Triple H took it to a whole new level when he called for a meteor shower to help take out Benoit.

[Corkscrewed]

(continued)

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/50.jpg
Benoit: "Pikachu!"
Eugene: "Charmander!"
Benoit: "Pikachu!"
Eugene: "Charmander!"
Triple H: "Jigglypuff!!"
Benoit and Eugene: "WTF?!"

El Santo:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/27.jpg
Tired of being stuck in crappy storylines, Kane unsuccessfully tries to hide under the stairs.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/29.jpg
And the day was saved when it started raining giant Legos.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/37.jpg
God: "Hey, just got back from the restroom, what did I miss?... Crap, Loose Cannon's gonna kill me."

Raising Kane:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/19.jpg
Flair hated napping with La Resistance. They never stayed on their own side of the ring and always ended up kicking someone in the nuts.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/50.jpg
How many wrestlers does it take to open a folding chair? Three. Two holding the chair and one to dive head-first into the seat.

Shaggy:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/28.jpg
Kane: Do I have to signal this out for you. Lets....get...a...bunny.

Mayo:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/15.jpg
Conway had to sit back and watch Eugene's brilliant moonwalk.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/52.jpg
Benoit: Haha, I avoided the crucifix all night and still beat Hunter. Hey, what does this little button on the belt do?
*Benoit disintigrates in front of the entire audience*
HHH: I love it when a backup plan comes together.

Vastardikai:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/12.jpg
Batista: This bending thing is cool, what's it called?
Ref: A knee.


RAW [7-12-2004]
Corkscrewed
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/01.jpg
Chris knew he should have fallen for Dave's "check my kneepads" routine.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/32.jpg
Eugene regretted running into HHH's nose.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/27.jpg
JR: "Rock Bottom!!!"
King: "Whoa! You actually got a move right!"
JR: "What? Oh, I mean BAW GAWD STUNNER!!!!"

asphyXy:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/21.jpg
"Hello. I am the hottest woman alive."

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/02.jpg
“Five time… You can’t see me… Five time… You can’t see me… It’s the same damn thing!”

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/03.jpg
Edge “successfully” pulls off the “LitaBomb.”

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/18.jpg
Ric: And then Doc Ock does thi----
Hurricane: SHUT UP! I HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET!!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/25.jpg
Eugene knew it was all a set up when Vince came to the ring, yelling “RING THE BELL! RING THE BELL!”

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/26.jpg
Chris: OWWWIE! You mean THIS is what I’ve been doing to people? This fuggin’ HURTS!!!!

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/14.jpg
Kane: "So, you know... I mean, if you're in the mood, could you, um, lie down in a coffin and hold your breath for about ten min-... what?"

Mayo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/09.jpg
This is what RVD saw watching on a tv backstage.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/24.jpg
Eugene could try as he might, but he would never do the Tickler like Dupree.


SmackDOWN! [7-15-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/071504/images/21.jpg
After about five minutes stuck in that position JBL figured maybe he should have gone to Sean's final lecture of cage escape.

Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/071504/images/02.jpg
Cena: WHAT!!! YOU MEAN AFTER ALL THIS TIME YOU REALLY COULD SEE ME!?!?!?!
Kurt: It was just your hand…

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/071504/images/06.jpg
EXTREME PROCTOLOGY!!!!

Nowhere Man:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/071504/images/04.jpg
Rey really would have liked to finish the match, but unfortunately, the rest of the Justice League was calling for him.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/071504/images/08.jpg
Bubba and Noble use visual aids to interpret the handling of WWE's Cruiser Division.

The Playa:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/071504/images/28.jpg
Eddie: Dammit Vince, I am not Sean
Security: Ok folks, you can relax Sean is back in the cage
Eddie: Damn you people


RAW [7-19-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/08.jpg
Hurricane was beyond grateful when RC Cola Man came to his rescue.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/10.jpg
Dave: "Whooooooooo!!! Yeah!!! Oh yeah! Ride me! Ride me Randy boy!!!"
Chris: "Um... I'm Chris, not Randy. And we're in the middle of the ring, not backstage."
Dave: "...awkward."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/12.jpg
Skydiving was fun, but Benoit still needed to work on his landing skills.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/19.jpg
Dave: "And don't you EVER say Jigglypuff sucks again!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/28.jpg
Things went to hell when Edge tried a Lita Nelson.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/29.jpg
(bad Japanese dubbing voice) "Ha-HA! I have defeated the evil villain and retained my prized belt, and my hair is still silky and smooth!"


Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/06.jpg
Helms was proud to introduce his new sidekick, the Whorricane!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/12.jpg
When Triple H told Batista to make sure Benoit was in no condition to win their match next week, Batista did the smartest thing possible... He tied Earl Hebner to the Canadian champ.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/15.jpg
Lita knew she found her true love when Matt Hardy botched fondling her tits.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/19.jpg
Double Dragon Jimmy Lee had suffered the wrath of Aboabo.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/20.jpg
USA retaliated against the Middle East by producing the first ever Weapons of Mass Erection.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/21.jpg
Ref: Look Randy, I'm going to explain this to you one more time. Sometimes worthless people who will never draw any money will get the title too. It's part of the business.
Randy: Wait, but how can a jobber like that go over ME!
Ref: *Sigh* Look Randy, I'm going to explain this to you one more time. Sometimes worthless people who will never draw any money will get the title too. It's part of the business.
Randy: Yeah, but how in the hell is Edge going to go over Randy Orton?
Ref: Look Randy... Hey, is that a My Little Pony?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/22.jpg
Authorities say that Loose Cannon was seen fleeing the scene with a tire-iron wrapped in barbed wire. More to come as this story develops.

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/07.jpg
I knew that women in the WWE were passed around like currency ... but this is ridiculous.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/16.jpg
Jericho: "Wait a minute. Hair vs. hair match? That's not fair?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/20.jpg
Writer: "Alright, Chris, we talked to Dave, and we've decided to put you back in the rotation. You have to job to the following divas."
Jericho: "I have to job ten times to skinny, untrained ... shapely, sexy women? ... I could live with that."
Writer: "No. We're going to have them all pile on you in a single rumble type match."
Jericho: "... better."

Raising Kane:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/07.jpg
Trish: Our next item up for bid... a life size, anatomically correct Stacy mannequin. Who'll start the bidding?
Silence....
Trish: Come on people! Even I'm worth a dollar Canadian... Oh wait...

[Corkscrewed]

SmackDOWN! [7-22-2004]
Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/13.jpg
“Now this belt means somethin’ to me! I had to trade my Jigglypuff and Meowth cards for this belt from Shane! Had to give ‘em my blue eyes white dragon to keep it last week!”

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/20.jpg
Walker, Texas Janitor: Uhhh… JBL… We’re turning off the lights. The show has been over for 6 hours… isn’t it time to ended your promo?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/21.jpg
And after this, Mark was never allowed to eat Mexican food before a show, ever again.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/35.jpg
In an attempt to outshine Zach Gowen, Rey became the first wrestler to wrestle without a head.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/44.jpg
Vince: Are you sure this is how we play baseball?
Kurt: Of course! Lita taught me!

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/14.jpg
JBL may be the Champion, but he could never beat the local jobbers at thumb war.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/42.jpg
Kurt: "You wouldn't hurt. um... a ONE-LEGGED MAN, would you?"
Vince: "Hasn't stopped me before."
Kurt: "Damn."

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/01.jpg
Kurt Angle unveils his new Catholic Priest gimmick.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/05.jpg
Billy: "Okay, so I cock the gun and the trigger is right--"
*BANG!*
Bubba: "OWWWW!!! Not the good cheek!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/22.jpg
Bradshaw learned the hard way: NEVERbadmouth the Amish.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/47.jpg
Vince: "So, Eddie... we're gonna be doing this for The Rock?"

parkmania:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/08.jpg
Angle: Look, Booker, I promised the Board of directors I wouldn't tell anyone, but - It's full of chocolate.

hulkamania320:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/03.jpg
Spike had the misfortune of being handcuffed to the ring and forced to watch "From Justin to Kelly".

Porksoda:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/43.jpg
Vince: Kurt, I got one thing to say to you....YOUR SSSSSSEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXY!
Kurt: What?
Vince: Huh? Oh - YOUR ON FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIRE!

Mayo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/07.jpg
The war between the two front seat fans escalated after the guy wearing the Bubba jersey called the guy with the sign a homo.


RAW [7-26-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/07.jpg
Things got interesting when Peter Parker joined the fray from the rafters and started randomly taking out wrestlers.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/14.jpg
Richards and A-Train: "DAMMIT, YOU SAID SO YOURSELF! STAY IN THE BACK!!!"

Evolution:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/17.jpg
Kane: "But my name really IS Indigo Montoya!"
All: "That's it, you were warned! Out you go back to mid-card Hell!"

Hulkamania320:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/25.jpg
Kamala stared in horror as the baby he had eaten hours before began to kick.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/35.jpg
After Benoit took off like and airplane and Triple H started skipping after him, the WWE decided that an hour was a little too long from now on.

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/16.jpg
After this night Rhyno never attempted the 619 ever again.

Mayo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/03.jpg
The RC Cola Man's sidekick couldn't take a punch very well.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/29.jpg
The Ref practiced hard for the 'wrestler toss' at the Summerslam Olympics.

Innovator:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/02.jpg
Flair was a little uneasy to get into the ring of Bret Hart fans, but orders are orders

http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/15.jpg
Maven: AND THATS FOR FOLEY!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/25.jpg
Kamala: Oh god, this is what I look like! No wonder I wasn't taken seriously

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/01.jpg
Coach couldn't believe it. Either he needed new glasses, or the Spice Girls were multiplying like crazy!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/03.jpg
After so many years being bald, Kurt felt his new head of hair was a bit top-heavy.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/16.jpg
As Rhyno and Batista can attest, Randy's farts were damn powerful.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/18.jpg
This day being Maven's birthday, Randy obliged by delivering the customary birthday spanking.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/36.jpg
Eugene: "Evolution my ass! God created the world in seven days, fool!"

The Highlander:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/31.jpg
(at a home cookout)
Shawn: Hey, do you remember when I had this on...
Bret: I reccommend you not finish that sentence.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/072604/images/36.jpg
Eugene was delighted. The old 'pull the chair' away trick still works.


SmackDOWN! [7-29-2004]
hulkamania320:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072904/images/01.jpg
For the first time, Booker T is introduced into the world of natural male enhancement.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072904/images/09.jpg
And then, before Spike's very eyes, Bubba Rey and D-Von came out on national television.

Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072904/images/24.jpg
Luther: Don’t you ever call them the powder puff girls, ever again! It’s power puff!

Transplant:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072904/images/01.jpg
Just before Booker T could eat his Giant Invisible Sandwich, he spotted Viscera attempting to Banzai drop him from the rafters.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072904/images/11.jpg
Kurt:.....
Teddy:....
Kurt:....
Teddy:....
Kurt: ....Hey Teddy
Teddy:....What, man?
Kurt:....I think the weed is making me feel weird, man....
Teddy:....yeah man, It does that, man.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072904/images/10.jpg
"Hey, got some black in you..."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072904/images/17.jpg
"Hey Zach! I found your missing leg!!!"

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072904/images/03.jpg
"Wha--? Whadda ya mean WE lost the war?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072904/images/04.jpg
The John Cena/Ultimo Dragon feud reached an all time low when he showed up at the arena wearing a "You Slipt, Shortie" T-Shirt.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072904/images/09.jpg
Sure, the present was nice, but what in the hell was Spike supposed to do with an oversized novelty wristwatch?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072904/images/17.jpg
"You know, I just got a crazy idea to turn this thing into a lamp."

[Corkscrewed]

August
RAW [8-2-2004]
hulkamania320:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/12.jpg
Edge hesitated. He'd never cut off another man's arm before; he wasn't to sure what to do next.

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/03.jpg
Rob's glory leap into the endzone was foiled when Rhyno and Tajiri slammed him down just one inch from a touchdown.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/07.jpg
"That'll teach you to drink Pepsi or Coke, BITCH!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/21.jpg
Bischoff: "Look, man, I know you lost all of your money in my casino reality show, but you're taking it a bit rough..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/22.jpg
Things got downright bizarre when Imhotep was introduced into the Lita angle.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/25.jpg
Trapped in the figure four, Benoit calls for backup in the form of a comet strike from the cheap seats.

Mayo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/20.jpg
Hunter heard that women dug black guys cocks, but this was just ridiculous.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/21.jpg
Eric: Hello, stranger.
HHH: You looked over when we were taking a piss Eric; you broke the guy's code.
Eric: But... WHY WAS IT BLACK?
HHH: :$

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/23.jpg
Kane: Go back to Hollywood, we don't need you around here!
Maven: But I'm not him!
Kane: LIES! Who's walking tall now?
Maven: NOOOOOOOOOOO

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/24.jpg
Kane: Oh, and Johnny Bravo is going to suck!

Innovator:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/01.jpg
HHH really needed to take Orton up on his high fiber diet

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/06.jpg
Matt: I love you Lita
Lita: I love you Jeff...Kane...Shane...Matt, yeah that's it

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/10.jpg
Thankfully Rosey got in the way of the goose step before we had Bradshaw V 2.0 on Raw.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/22.jpg
Kane: For the last time, OPEN WIDE!!!
Lita: Is this wide enough. Dr. Yankem?
Kane: You’re not even opening your mouth!
Lita: Oh! My mouth!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/24.jpg
“You see this? You see Maven right here? This is what happens when you don’t floss!”


SmackDOWN! [8-5-2004]
Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/080504/images/05.jpg
Steve Blackman enjoys his new position as “Cleavage Inspector.”

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/080504/images/19.jpg
And somewhere in Minnesota, Brock is having a heart attack.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/080504/images/21.jpg
In the dual spinaroonie contest, The Undertaker is up by 3.

Savior:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/080504/images/19.jpg
Hilary: Hi I'm hom- OH MY GOD WHY BILL WHY!?
Bill: I did it because I could!

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/080504/images/19.jpg
Samichna was already mad when Rhi rejected him for a threeway, but when he found out the two people she had selected, he was REALLY pissed.

gonMad00:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/080504/images/17.jpg
Taker botches aging.

Rock Bottom:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/080504/images/12.jpg
Rey: O...OMG. Are those... PUBES!? LET ME SEE!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/080504/images/14.jpg
Rey: Is it!? Is it!?
Spike: Sorry Rey, that's just your tattoo. No pubes yet.
Rey: *sob*

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/080504/images/18.jpg
Bradshaw: "I'm going to keep walking in this direction, thrusting my hips. If your mouth gets in the way, it's not my fault."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/080504/images/21.jpg
Mark was usually patient with underprivledged persons, but after 15 minutes of this midget staring at him while jerking off, he had to say something.


RAW [8-9-2004]
What Would Kevin Do?:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/080904.jpg
Randy: *Sigh* I give up... You're going to have to get Batista to show you the Macarena.

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/04.jpg
Benoit: "You! You're the one who hacked the Casual Forum last night!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/09.jpg
The result of Lita botching the divorce was not pretty, as she found herself Kane's new wife, mother, and official bedtime story teller.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/13.jpg
The results were disastrous when Edge lost control of his pogo stick.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/29.jpg
"Don't you ever trick me into driving to Hawaii again!!!"

Innovator:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/04.jpg
Bad things happen at the WWE dentist when the staff runs out of novacaine...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/06.jpg
Needless to say, the Divas were impressed with Shannon's new look

Rock Bottom:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/02.jpg
"...Why will I beat Chris Benoit? Because it is my destiny... Well, that and Triple H promised me a rare My Little Pony he got off of E-Bay if I win."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/06.jpg
All the Divas were pissed when they found out Trish was hiding two dodge balls in her shirt.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/09.jpg
Kane: "NO! Fucking christ! THE DOTTED LINE. SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/23.jpg
Benoit: "Hey! Now just a damn minute. I never agreed to this match."
Triple H: "Well, it's either this or you face Lita in a falls count anywhere match."
Benoit: "Er, ring the bell."

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/06.jpg
Ref: THANK YOU ENZYTE!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/11.jpg
Kane was envious of Matt’s new really huge Nintendo controller.

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/02.jpg
Love it or hate him, you gotta admit Randy did one mean Porky Pig impersonation.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/11.jpg
Kane: "Hey, isn't this kinda... stupid?"
Matt: "Who cares! They're jobbing to us! They're jobbing to us! Turn around, that one's getting away!"
Chair #3: "Run run run...!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/17.jpg
*sobbing* "No oh ooh! Li'l Brudder. That *sniff* little guy. He's got the heart of a champion!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/19.jpg
*sobbing* "Oh oh, Tenderfoot. *sniff* Can you tell me how to get the most out of life?"

Mayo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080904/images/18.jpg
Although Regal tried his best to stand still after banging Steph, pretending to be a lamp wasn't the best place to hide.

[Corkscrewed]

SmackDOWN! [8-12-2004]
Quick1:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/07.jpg
Nunzio: Ok, ok guess who I am?
Chavo: Brock lesnar?
Nunzio: Nope Ultimo

Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/15.jpg
Rene faints when he sees how high his odds are of getting a push.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/13.jpg
Jackie botches touching her head, shoulders, knees, and toes.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/15.jpg
That's the 10th kind of Suplex Hass has shown us today, Rene down by 9.

El Santo:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/01.jpg
Judging the "Stars of the 80's" contest was pretty intense, but JBL had to go with the guy dressed up as Emmanuel Lewis.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/05.jpg
While D-Von was indeed a skilled ventriloquist, his brother, Bubba, still needed to get past Step One: getting a puppet.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/11.jpg
WWE Presents: Battle of the World's Most Nearsighted Wrestlers

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/12.jpg
Maybe it was the championship, or maybe it was his time on the Olympic team, but for some reason Darko Milicic looks different this year.

juanker:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/07.jpg
Chavo Gets Disqualified For Dropkicking Nunzio's Head Off

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/07.jpg
Chavo awakes from his nap just in time to see the tragic results of Nunzio's Lita Star Press.

gonMad00:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/07.jpg
Nunzio - First ever death by spin-aroonie.

MVP:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/03.jpg
Orlando: "WOW I'm getting a huge push, some TV time, and a new suit. I must be dreaming."
Vince: "Shit he's catching on, lower the cage."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/07.jpg
The glass ceiling wasn't bad enough; now Velocity workers had to deal with quicksand.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/14.jpg
Shaniqua's return as U.S. champion did not go well with the fans.

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/05.jpg
The Dudleys' nWo impression was impressive, what with Bubba Ray's "Diesel" taunt, Spike's Syxx-Pac tongue wag, and D-Von's Scott Hall "Wondering where the hell I am."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/07.jpg
NUNZIO: I can too do a better ostrich impression than you!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/11.jpg
EDDIE: And it was me who replaced your moisturizer with Rhyno's! ... Dammit.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081204/images/15.jpg
It was nice of WWE to put a running score of the USA-Puerto Rico basketball game on the bottom of the screen. Good thing Iverson hit that free throw...


RAW [8-16-2004]
Innovator:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/17.jpg
Triple H: Randy for the last time, YOU'RE NOT JOHN CENA!

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/06.jpg
The lowlight of the night was when they showed JR's baby pictures.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/14.jpg
Batista: "And THAT'S for insulting Bilbo!!!"
Sir Ian Holmes: "You tell him, Dave!"

Chuck Jones:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/02.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/07.jpg
This was, perhaps, the weirdest 69 position ever.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/08.jpg
Well, someone has to make sure Trish never does Standup comedy ever again.

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/02.jpg
CHRIS: You may have beat me last night, but there's one thing at which you'll never be better than me.
RANDY: Oh, yeah? What's that?
CHRIS: Pointing to your knees!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/05.jpg
LITA: Why are your pants buzzing?
JAZZ: And where's my present?
TRISH: ...excuse me.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/10.jpg
LITA: Why! Won't! You! Tap! Out! Dammit!
KURT ANGLE: (watching at home) Now, that's just sad...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/21.jpg
All the pundits agreed. They'd never seen anyone counter the Sharpshooter quite like Orton's Banshee Scream.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/24.jpg
It's common knowledge that the pain caused by the Crippler Crossface can lead to hallucinations. Here, we see Randy reach for that last damned bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red.

deadly heaven:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/07.jpg
In a gruesome scene, Victoria is slowly devoured by Gail Kim's butt.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/14.jpg
(Looks at the lifeless body. Starts contemplating...)
Flair: No...
Batista: Why not? Trips did it...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/26.jpg
After the match the real fight begun with the 'HHH is GOD" sign holder and the "Hail Orton" mark.

Fryza:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/15.jpg
Just moments after Batista destroyed Flair, Hunter called him saying "Attack the guy with long hair", not "Attack the old guy Flair". Shoulda used Sprint Wireless Connection.

Quick1:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/27.jpg
HHH Does an impression of his penis.

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/11.jpg
Matt: I KILLED YOUR FATHER, AND I’LL KILL YOU TOO!
Kane: *gasp!* The Six Fingered Man!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/12.jpg
Kane: Don’t worry Lita, I’ll be gentle.
Lita: Thank you.. this is my first time…
Kane: Really?
Lita: Yes, really….
Kane: In that case, let’s start… ya ready?
Lita: I think so…
Kane and Lita: Over, under, around and through, and that is how you tie your shoe!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/27.jpg
“I never had your nose! It was just my thumb all along!”


SmackDOWN! [8-19-2004]
Always 450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081904/images/16.jpg
Teddy Long was too wrapped up in his game of pacman to concentrate on his promo.

gonMad00:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081904/images/06.jpg
Kidman: London! To TNA, before they forget our pu--
Announcer: Your winner and new tag champs -Funaki and this rock!
Kidman: Blast!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081904/images/01.jpg
Bradshaw: ..And that is why you don't try to imitate JR to his face.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081904/images/09.jpg
Kurt's excitement at finally pranking Eddie with a joy buzzer quickly faded when he realized he'd brought the fall-asleep buzzer instead.

Chuck Jones:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081904/images/04.jpg
"Dudley Bowling" was a sucess. "Dudley Football" needed more work though.

PorkSoda:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/081904/images/10.jpg
Eddie was too enthusiasted about meeting Uncle Sam

[Corkscrewed]

RAW [8-23-2004]
Xero Limit 126:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/23.jpg
Where will you be when your explosive diarrhea acts up?

Innovator:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/09.jpg
Randy: Lets see, title belt, check...cocky persona, check...pants,...shit!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/10.jpg
Hogan and Nash seem a bit different...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/16.jpg
Ric: Comas ain't so bad, I slip in and out of comas all the ti............................

The Critic:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/14.jpg
Flair: HEEEERE COMES THE GATOR!
Regal: Nooooooo!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/23.jpg
Matt Hardy v.2 comes complete with Jet Pack Ass action.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/24.jpg
Naptime...TO THE EXTREME!!

Nowhere Man:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/12.jpg
NM: Man, is it just me, or does Chris Benoit look different tonight?
LC: That's not Benoit. That's Randy Orton.
NM: *shoves fingers in his ears* Yeah, I think Chris got a new haircut. Looks good on him.
LC: I'm serious. Randy Orton is the World Champion.
NM: LA-LA-LAAAAAA NOT LISTENING! Chris Benoit is still Champion! NOT LISTENING! LA-LA!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/16.jpg
Ref: Hey, what's that in your ear?
Regal: Not right now, please.
Ref: Hold on....is that.....a QUARTER? TA-DAAAA!!!!!
Regal: ....God, I hate you.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/21.jpg
Y'know, I wasn't too excited when I heard they were remaking Pac-Man with the DooM 3 engine, but now that I've seen the screenshot, I gotta say I'm impressed.

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/05.jpg
Kane: Do you know the muffin man?
Lita: Yes, I know the pumpkin man.
Kane: No, the Muffin Man.
Lita: Oh, the crunchin’ man.
Kane: NO! The MUFFIN MAN!
Lita: Wow, fairy tales are hard.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/07.jpg
Seconds later Jericho was Dqed for launching a photon-torpedo out of his ass.

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/13.jpg
"Whaddya mean you bet on the U.S. over Lithuania????"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/16.jpg
Neither Batista nor the ref could figure out how a game of Twister could have gone this wrong.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/23.jpg
After this display of burnination, Trogdor knew he had nothing on Matt Hardy.

Cooler Tom Schuler:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/01.jpg
The newly install mood ring displays its anger.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/06.jpg
Ref: Whatcha gonna d-
Edge: You're not serious, are you?
Ref: Of course I...well...I...no, I guess not.

Mayo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/06.jpg
Crowd reactions were poor to the debut of the new Three Tenors stable.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/14.jpg
Although Flair was in his 50's, he could still Flashdance with the best of them.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/18.jpg
Lita: *to mirror* Congratulations on your wedding day! You look so pretty in that dress! Hey, wait a sec... you look awfully familiar. Mom, is that you? Oh my God, I've been sent 30 years back, like that movie 'Back to the Past'.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/25.jpg
Lita: Officer, your gun is digging into my hip.
Kane: No you idiot, it's your gun that is digging into my hip- wait, you don't have a gun!


SmackDOWN! [8-26-2004]
The Critic:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/082604/images/19.jpg
The Hulk Hogan Impression Contest was off to a roaring start.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/082604/images/15.jpg
There was hell to pay when Mace Windu finally got his hands on Darth Vader.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/082604/images/11.jpg
John: "HEIDENREICH!!!"
Josh: "Heinecken?"
John: "HEI-DEN-REICH!!!"
Josh: "Heinz Ketchup??"
John: "HEI!!! DEN!!! REICH!!!"
John: 'Haduken?"
John: "HEI!!! DEN!!! REICH!!!!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/082604/images/06.jpg
Kidman: "Hey Chavo! You've been drinking lots of milk lately, right?"
Chavo: "Why do you ask?"
Kidman: "Oh no reason..."

Innovator:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/082604/images/04.jpg
JBL: Waddya mean I'm not over
Long: Sorry JBL, the crowd doesn't like you
JBL: BUT I DRANK BEER, WHAT MORE DO THEY WANT FROM ME?!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/082604/images/15.jpg
Orlando: Ok so I'm gonna attack the Undertaker first right?
JBL: Yes try to form a shield around me, Operation Human Shield Go!
Orlando:...you've ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
JBL: No I don't listen to hip-hop

gonMad00:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/082604/images/11.jpg
Heidenreich: Where have you put Little Johnny?!
Josh: ....
Heidenreich: Answer me!
Josh: ...
Heidenreich: Answe-- FUCK! **runs to the back and hissy fits ensue**

Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/082604/images/04.jpg
JBL: Do you have any idea how degrading that song “Springtime For Hitler” is? I mean, they’re taking a former world leader, and making fun of him! What did he ever do wrong!!!
Orlando: …
Teddy: …
JBL: What?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/082604/images/14.jpg
And now we see Kurt preform the newest move in the WWE, The Litatamer!

Xero Limit 126:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/082604/images/02.jpg
Carrier #1: EARTHQUAKE! **Shakes platform**
Carrier #2: Just stop it dude...

[Corkscrewed]

September

RAW [9-6-2004]
Kayfabeman:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg
Flair realized he had lost the 2004 Chest Chopping Competition when Rhyno took on the spirit of Tatanka....

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg
Flair takes a breather from laughing after convincing Rhyno that he is indeed a little tea pot, short and stout.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg
Nobody ever dared mess with Nidia again after she killed Trish with her patented "Explode Your Face Punch."

Funky Fly:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg
Nidia: Hey, you've got a piece of string on your face. Lemme get it for you.
Trish: No wait! That's from my nose jo... vlachhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Xero Limit 126:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/03.jpg
Batista: Where are we!?
Flair: Oh no... I think... WE'RE IN MIDCARD HELL!
Batista: No... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Benoit: Very funny guys...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/21.jpg
Christian (Mumbling): Make me change the fucking light bulb... I'll show them...

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg
Rhyno finds out what it feels like to get glue...down there.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/12.jpg
JINDRAK: Yes!
STAMBOLI: All right!
PALUMBO: Whoo-hoo!
O'HAIRE: Follow me, my brothers! Follow me...TO FREEDOM!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/17.jpg
EDGE: ...and that's the last time I'll let Lita give me a foot massage.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/24.jpg
Upon learning that the RAW Diva Search had been extended another week, wrestling fans committed the largest group projectile vomiting the world has ever seen.

gonMad00:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/11.jpg
HHH: Aurora boriealus? In this hour of the day,in this part of the country, directly planted in your office?..
Bishoff: Um..yes..
HHH: May I see it???
Bishoff: ... um,..ok?

El Santo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/01.jpg
Bischoff: "And now, introducing your new ... WWE ... Inter-CON-tinental Champion ... this Inanimate Velvet Chair!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg
You know, some people shouldn't even try biting into a habanero pepper.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg
Up next on Celebrity Deathmatch: Britney Spears vs. Janet Jackson!

Mayo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/11.jpg
HHH: Say Iron Maiden sucks again, and you'll be drinking your food through a straw.
Eric: The Iron skillet I got last week that was Maiden Taiwan really sucks.
HHH: You're testing my patience, little man.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/21.jpg
Even after using visual aids, Christian still couldn't explain the concept of holding someone down to Tomko.

Always450:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/07.jpg
Trish: You know Lita, I’ve gotta hand it to ya… no angle is better than yours.
Lita: Hey! I know you’re being sarcastic!
Trish: No, Lita, literally, no angle is better than your angle.
Lita: Oh, that’s nice…. Say, what angle are you in?
Trish: Me? I’m in no angle.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg
And after this tragic event, no wrestler was ever allowed to do the old “I got your nose” gag ever again.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/25.jpg
Ref: You wanna tell him, Lillian?
Lillian: I don’t have the heart. He’s having too much fun.
Ref: Well he seriously thinks he’s a composer. He’s no longer playing composer.


SmackDOWN! [9-9-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_090904/images/05.jpg
Angle: "Look at me! I'm a hairy jungle monster! RRRROOARRRRR!!!!"
Eddie: "All right, back to Dr. Jho for you!"

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_090904/images/09.jpg
Big Show: "Hey! Somebody gimme a Heineken!"
John: "The name... is... HEI!!! DEN!!! REICH!!!"
*throws a hissy fit*

El Santo:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_090904/images/01.jpg
Kenzo and Renee tryout for the role of Sugar Plum Fairy in the WWE production of "The Nutcracker Ballet."
Meanwhile, Paul London passes out when he buys a shirt that was four sizes too small.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_090904/images/05.jpg
Eddie may have reacted violently, but DAMMIT, he wasn't going to let another guy pull a Nazi salute to steal his push again!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_090904/images/08.jpg
Paul Wight returns to Smackdown as St. Big Show, Healer of the Blind.

Innovator:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_090904/images/01.jpg
Paul: Ah sweet canvas, how my shoulders have missed you

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_090904/images/02.jpg
Spike: And now to remove this protective potato-head mask

Fryza:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_090904/images/07.jpg
Gotta love that WWE censorship. When they say 'Get the 'F' out', they mean to the crowd signs too.

loopydate:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_090904/images/01.jpg
It was bad enough that he'd been betrayed by his tag team partner, but the ring shaking from the dual French Ticklers was starting to make him nauseous.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_090904/images/06.jpg
BREANA: Look, honey, there's a sign in the crowd with our names on it!
TYLER: That's great, dear, but I'm more interested in who turned off gravity.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_090904/images/09.jpg
SHOW: Aaaaaaaaaave Mariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiia!


Unforgiven
gonMad00:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/wwe/images/unff11.jpg
Jericho: Damn it,O'Haire! I need gold badly!!! PLEASSEEE!!
RKO: I killed him. Now give me that!
Jericho: He's not a legend!
RKO: ...I need credability again.

Mayo:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/wwe/images/unff10.jpg
Jericho: He said to pull the cord after 10 seconds. How long has it been?
Christian: 30 seconds.
Jericho: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

loopydate:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/wwe/images/unff11.jpg
Triple H's coronation got off to an auspicious start with the ceremonial Canadian Sacrifice.

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/wwe/images/unff13.jpg
History was made as Kane became the first wrestler ever to be caught in the glass trash compactor: Vince's permanent solution to those pesky midcarders.

El Santo:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/wwe/images/unff8.jpg
God, it was bad enough he got back the Championship. Did he have to force Mr. Socko to give him a blowjob as well?

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/wwe/images/unff13.jpg
He may be involved in Raw's most tired storyline, but God, did Kane love his invisible Pod Racer!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/wwe/images/unff15.jpg
Lita loved having her fingers licked.
Shawn loved the yellow powder that comes off of Cheetos.
It worked for both of 'em.


RAW [9-13-2004]
Transplant:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw11.jpg
Mr McMahon: Mr Cake! YOUR FIRED!!
Triple H: But Vince, Im not Ho...
Mr McMahon: Your not gonna fool me this time, Mr America my ass.

gonMad00:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw7.jpg
Signs that Batista has a cold.

Innovator:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw1.jpg
God: Cmon Luc, how many times does he have to have the damn thing
Lucifer: Says here on his contract that he gets it another 20 times

El Santo:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw1.jpg
Hunter's celebration was cut short when, sick and tired of his damn title reigns, an entire galaxy blindsides him from behind.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw7.jpg
The night was made even more memorable when a flock of birds took a simultaneous dump.

Sascha:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw4.jpg
Hey, this isn't the women's locker room....

[Corkscrewed]

SmackDOWN![9-16-2004]
Always450:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_091604ks/images/10.jpg
Gangrel: Can I have a job?
Vince: ……………………I guess so…………
Gangrel: SWEEEEEET!!!!

gonMad00:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_091604ks/images/10.jpg
Gangrel: (thinking) ...they think they know me..they think they know me..
Viscera: ..Hmm.. Where we REALLY on a mission..or was it a journey...??

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_091604ks/images/11.jpg
JBL was so pleased now that he had finally found a human shield... and WHAT A shield!

Xero Limit 126:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_091604ks/images/02.jpg
Show: What's this "take out Randy Orton" clause here?
Teddy: Ya know, playa... It's just that if you go to RAW and take away all of Randy Orton's credibility, you get a title shot!
Show: HOT DOG!... **Signs contract** You know, I really COULD go for a hot dog right about now...

Transplant:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_091604ks/images/02.jpg
Show: ...and I, Big Show, promise that will never again I....do I have to carry on?
Teddy: Yes.
Show: eat 4000 pounds of Seafood Sam's squid leg, even if it is an All-You-Can-Eat buffet or Vince McMahon is paying. I also apologize for eating other patrons plates, as it was uncalled for and the china gave me terrible indigestion.
Teddy: Thank You.

Savior:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/sd_091604ks/images/11.jpg
"We hacked the forum!"

RAW! [9-20-2004]
Always450:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_8.jpg
Ric: Keep that bastard away from me!
HHH: I’m trying, Naich, I’m trying!
RKO: YOU SONOFA BITCH! VINCE SCREWED BRET!!!!!

http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg
Lita: Ohmigod, Kane, you really loved me, didn’t you? You really wanted to start a family, and now because our baby was lost, you’re crying….
Kane: Thank you, *sniff*God! This angle is over! *Sob* This angle is over! THANK YOU GOD!!!! *sniff*

Gouda:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_2.jpg
Eugene: Purple Monkey Dishwasher.
Vince: WHAT?! They shall all pay for this!

http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg
Kane: No! She's dead! I killed her! Not again!! Now HHH is going to have to have sex with HER too!

tucsonspeed6:
http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg
And now, for your entertainment: Lita botching Hide and Go Seek.
Kane: ...Twenty-Eight!......Twenty Nine!.....Thirty! Ready or not, here I come!

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_6.jpg
This would prove to be the slowest Finger Poke of Doom in history, but nevertheless, 89 seconds later, the cameraman would be sprawled out on the ground grabbing his face.


SmackDOWN! [9-23-2004]
Corkscrewed
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/02.jpg
Booker Heidenrape impression, complete with assault and battery, garnered great heat with the fans.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/07.jpg
Needless to say, Spike would never ride a sybian again.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/21.jpg
Desperate to get into Theodore Long's good graces, Angle decided to try and shoot someone in the ass.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/23.jpg
Big show was doing fine until the last baby he ate suddenly started to kick.

gonMad00:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/12.jpg
Heidireich: ... And that's how I got banned from Poetry.com. Whattaya think?
Vince: Um, you just came in here and said " And that's how I got banned..". You didn't explain how or why.
Heidireich: ........Can I have some talent???

Xero Limit 126:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/08.jpg
Rey: Oh yeah...
RVD: Are you... WTF!? ARE YOU FANTASIZING ABOUT ME!?
Rey: Oh yeah... OH YE... Wait, what?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/12.jpg
Heidenreich: MARY had a little LAMB! Whose FLEECE was WHITE as SNOW! And EVERYWHERE that MARY...
Vince: John, that's not orignal...
Heidenreich: Not... ORIGNAL!!?!?!?!?! **Throws hissy fit** RAAAR!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/24.jpg
Kurt pulls a Heidenreich...

Evolution:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/05.jpg
You'd be shocked too if your penis donned a mask and came up to talk to you.

parkamania:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/08.jpg
RVD: Don't worry, Rey. I shall avenge your death. Those terrorists won't make it out of the arena alive.
Mysterio: Don't you think you're taking this Van Dam thing too far?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/12.jpg
Vince (to himself): This was a GREAT idea! I'm gonna make ALL my hoss's into poets so that they can have their lines written down on paper right in front of them!

Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/10.jpg
Taker: Vis… Why are you eating the chair?
Vis: Ric told me that there’s crème filling in it!
Taker:…
Vis:…
Taker: Carry on.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/16.jpg
Even though Luther begged him not to, the twinkle in his eye said it all… Kurt was going to pee on the electric fence.

Sascha:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/02.jpg
Much to Paul's dismay, Sean had started his period....

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/05.jpg
KENZO: That's Mysterio? Man, no wonda my promos made no sense!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/07.jpg
Spike prepared for a top rope maneuver until that damned Imperial Sniper shot his dick off.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/12.jpg
HEIDENREICH: "The rain in Spain falls main on the ground!"
VINCE: That's...very good.
HEIDENREICH: "I once knew a man from Nantucket. He was really nice!"
VINCE: I think I've heard all I...
HEIDENREICH: "Roses are red. Violets are kinda bluish-purple!"
VINCE: Get out, please.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/22.jpg
Vince's idea of the "Midcarder Skeet Match" was a big hit with the boys.

WORLDLIFEMUTHA
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/092304/images/13.jpg
CODE RED! CODE RED! Stone Cold Steve Austin has Attacked Again!!!


RAW [9-27-2004]
Xero Limit 126:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_092704/images/11.jpg
Dave: Stevie... What happened!?... Yeah... Yeah... THAT SON OF A BITCH!
Triple H: **Holds up belt then bolts**

El Santo:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_092704/images/02.jpg
The real reason Snitsky was brought in: to enfoce the new WWE conduct code that no one ever do the tired "Whassup" ever again.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_092704/images/03.jpg
Snitsky: "Oh God... there's a porn star on my leg! Get it off get it off get it off!"

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_092704/images/11.jpg
Batista: "So... the 'ad infinitum' part in my contract mean ... what exactly?"
Flair: "Hey, check this out, Trips.... I'm going to give Dave one motherf****r of a wedgie!"

Gouda:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_092704/images/02.jpg
Snitsky: What? I'm choking Val Venis to death? That may be... But IT'S NOT MY FAULT. He's just at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Ref: He can't help it. It's called a match...
Snitsky: IT'S NOT MY FAULT DAMMIT!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_092704/images/11.jpg
Batista: By God... I have hands!

gonMad00:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_092704/images/01.jpg
"Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

parkamania:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_092704/images/04.jpg
Christy: Don't pull a Janet... Don't pull a Janet...

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_092704/images/03.jpg
Val scored a 9.8 for flexibility and reaction time in the World Stylistic Shoe Biting Championships.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_092704/images/08.jpg
Blueshirt scored a 0.4.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_092704/images/10.jpg
On this day, Orton found out why they called him Ric "Sybian Foot" Flair.

[Corkscrewed]

SmackDOWN! [9-30-2004]
gonMad00:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/10.jpg
Heidenreich: "Dear Mr. Heidenreich, this is a final notice. If you continue to use this service, we will be forced to actions of.." ..DAMN YOU, POETRY.COM!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/11.jpg
Booker, with his new powers of moving glass ceilings, forgot it was daytime and that Gangrel and friends were around.

trnbuckle:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/06.jpg
And as the John Cena vs. the television audience staring contest goes into its 40th hour, Cena begins to show signs of fatigue.

Corkscrewed:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/10.jpg
"This is a poem... by HEIDENREICH!!!!

I am a loser WITH no skill.
And YET I am on TV STILL.
I BULLY cruisers WITHOUT remorse
I repeat MY name till MY throat is HOARSE.
I'm THE guy who did rape Michael COLE.
Yes I STUCK my cock into his ASS hole.
Now LISTEN TO ME! I gots LOTS to say.
I'm well AWARE I appear very GAY.
But don't FORGET, I've been on TV SINCE
My Little JOHNNIE got to pleasure VINCE!

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: HEIDENREICH!!!!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/21.jpg
Flair's antics finally crossed the line when he tricked Orlando Jordan into driving to Mississippi.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/25.jpg
Shouldn't have left Lita in charge of lighting.

Gohan3k:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/21.jpg
Triple H was here

parkamania:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/10.jpg
Heidenreich: It's... not... my... fault.
Vince (backstage): DAMMIT! Who switched the script?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/18.jpg
Bradshaw shows us the pose that got him over with Vince.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/20.jpg
JBL: You're right, Taker! There ARE 3 letters visible above my hat! Now can we cut this Sesame Street crap?

Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/05.jpg
Brock: Homos!!!!
DDP: Don’t worry Brock, that’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a good thing!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/11.jpg
Booker T knew he was fucked when Trogdor came to ambush him from the side.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/14.jpg
Kidman: And that’ll be the last time you ever insult the complex nature of Homsar!

Xero Limit 126:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/01.jpg
Kurt and Luther: WE ARE THE NATION... OF DOMINATION!
Jindrak (At the same time): EVOLUTION IS A MYSTERY!
Kurt (Looking at Mark): You see, this is what happens when you miss rehearsal...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/05.jpg
(Jackie and Dawn moan)
Vince: What's going on in there!?
Jackie and Dawn: NOTHING!
Jackie: We're uh... Doing homework... Yeah...
Vince: Oh, carry on...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/08.jpg
Josh: Bradshaw, is it true? Are the allegations true?
Bradshaw: I... Did not have... Sexual relations... With that Nazi...

MVP:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/20.jpg
Desperate to gain ratings, WWE tried having the Undertaker revive the Four Horsemen.

Innovator:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/21.jpg
Orlando needed work on his "how many KKK members does it take to screw in a light bulb" joke

loopydate:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/01.jpg
WACKY ANNOUNCER: If you thought "Dudley Bowling" was fun...
ANGLE: Oh, shit...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/18.jpg
JBL: Now can you dig that? Nig--(Doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo...)

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/21.jpg
Instantly, OJ regretted asking JBL "Where the white women at?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/093004/images/25.jpg
The National Terror Alert was raised to "Big Show's Eyes" this week.

[Corkscrewed]

JULY'S MOST POPULAR CAPTIONS:
Savior:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070804/images/16.jpg
JBL: Where'd those nigg*rs go?

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/vengeance/images/27.jpg
Kane should have known better than to trust Lita with the redesign of his mask.

Transplant:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/070104/images/02.jpg
JBL: who's a boo? who's a booboojooboo?
Baby: Im Not Telling You Anything You..
JBL: WHA?

Nowhere Man:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/071504/images/04.jpg
Rey really would have liked to finish the match, but unfortunately, the rest of the Justice League was calling for him.


AUGUST'S MOST POPULAR CAPTIONS:
Innovator:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/082604/images/15.jpg
Orlando: Ok so I'm gonna attack the Undertaker first right?
JBL: Yes try to form a shield around me, Operation Human Shield Go!
Orlando:...you've ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
JBL: No I don't listen to hip-hop

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/081604/images/10.jpg
LITA: Why! Won't! You! Tap! Out! Dammit!
KURT ANGLE: (watching at home) Now, that's just sad...

Mayo:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/080204/images/23.jpg
Kane: Go back to Hollywood, we don't need you around here!
Maven: But I'm not him!
Kane: LIES! Who's walking tall now?
Maven: NOOOOOOOOOOO

Xero Limit 126:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/082304/images/23.jpg
Where will you be when your explosive diarrhea acts up?


SEPTEMBER'S MOST POPULAR CAPTIONS:

[Corkscrewed]

overflow post

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through RAW.

Now, there's a 24 image limit on the forums that finally decided to enforce itself when Triple A updated the board recently. So for now, the rest of the pics will have to stay partially coded (rather than completely, since that would actually produce an image) until he raises the limit.

Please join me in lobbying to raise the limit to 100, as it would let me put as much images as I need and this whole Caption Archive thing to work. If not, this thread is almost as good as dead.

Go to the forum suggestions thread and voice your support. 24 pics is way too little for captioning.

Thank you.

[Mayo]

Updated through RAW.

Now, there's a 24 image limit on the forums that finally decided to enforce itself when Triple A updated the board recently. So for now, the rest of the pics will have to stay partially coded (rather than completely, since that would actually produce an image) until he raises the limit.

Please join me in lobbying to raise the limit to 100, as it would let me put as much images as I need and this whole Caption Archive thing to work. If not, this thread is almost as good as dead.

Go to the forum suggestions thread and voice your support. 24 pics is way too little for captioning.

Thank you.

I gave my support in the thread you made in forum suggestions. Great work on all the captioning stuff Corky, you rock :wave:

[Savio]

I can't see half of them :(

[Mayo]

Savior, re-read Corky's last post, it'll help you out.

[Savio]

Read it!?!?!? fine

[PorkSoda]

Just a question, Corkscrewed, do you decide on whos captions are funny and do you put the good ones here? If so, who decides on your captions? Theres so many of yours - that are hilarious - that are there. Just wondering :)

[Savio]

asphyXy:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071204/images/21.jpg"
"Hello. I am the hottest woman alive."
Funny? :?:

[Corkscrewed]

PorkSoda: I would definitely appreciate help on my own through, say, replies to the RAW and SD! caption threads themselves? *hint hint* Usually I just got by which ones I personally like. :)

Savior: Not necessarily funny, but I liked it. Basically because it is so damn true. :wave:

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through this past Monday's RAW.

Just to let you know, due to the image limit, I'll have to be a little pickier than in the past, so that would explain the fewer captions.

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through last RAW.

This month has been kind of a drag... :-\

[loopydate]

Updated through last RAW.

This month has been kind of a drag... :-\
Prolly 'cause I haven't done many captions.

:shifty:

[Corkscrewed]

Prolly. We still have yet to have a repeat CotM winner... or even a 2 time CotM winner for that matter I believe.

[loopydate]

I believe you're right.

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through this past Monday, the 2nd.

Vote for July Caption of the Month
http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?p=502126&posted=1#post502126

[Quick1]

what are the canidates so far?

[Corkscrewed]

Been busy with work and transition back to school, so I'll update the two weeks of stuff tomorrow hopefully.

[Savio]

I noticed How youy didn't put my caption in your sig for caption of the month!? :foc:

CS: Paul give it a rest.

[Corkscrewed]

Updated through August. I guess they're not gonna put last monday's RAW pics up, so those won't be included.

[Corkscrewed]

Damn, that took like two hours! :(

Updated through Monday, Sept. 27.

Not too many good ones... if anyone sees any CotM nominees FROM THE ARCHIVED CAPTIONS ABOVE, go ahead and list them, especially for those who don't have any blue captions right now.

[loopydate]

That "Code Red" one from last week's SD isn't mine.

[Corkscrewed]

Dammit. Whose is it?

[loopydate]

WORLDLIFEMUTHA

[Corkscrewed]

Thanks. Sorry WORLDLIFEMUTHA

[Savio]

Isn't it time for a COTM winner we can trust? Savior for COTM winner
-----------------------
I smell a repeat this month :D

[Gone Mad]

After a month hiatus from captions, it is great to be nominated. Because of this, for you the voting public, I have written you all a poem. It is called ..."gonMAD" in hiaku form (probably)... Enjoy!

Anger, Madness, Jobbing,

Nomination awesome, hate green hosses,

thanks to Corky, funny caps man as well,

Naruto great, Simpsons references ...

HEI ... DEN... REICH! ...I mean, gonMad!

Ummm... :shifty: ..Vote for me!

[Savio]

Where's the poll?

[Corkscrewed]

October

RAW [10-4-2004]
Xero Limit 126:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/01.jpg
Triple H (Rapping): Yeah... Yeah... We are the men in black!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/03.jpg
Belty: Who the FUCK are you!?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/18.jpg
Rosie's attire shows us which way Hurricane will be going... Down, and a little to the left...

Splaya:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/02.jpg
HHH could not help but laugh at the "I'm HHH's bitch" sign on the back of Ric Flair

http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/10.jpg
Snitsky: My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Kane: What the hell is up with people doing this

http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/13.jpg
Orton was pissed as hell when Flair had security come out to take him away, and then he was confused as hell when he saw the Road Dogg Jesse James lying on the rampway

Porksoda:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/05.jpg
Christian takes after Mike Tyson: If ya cant beat em, eat em.

gonMad00:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/16.jpg
Christy/Eugene (thinking): RRRRHHHHHYYYNOOOO!!!
Eugene (thinking): ...Wait! ..Nevermind... hehe..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/21.jpg
Signs Molly has a fetish.

Corkscrewed:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/07.jpg
Lita: "Something's missing."
Todd: "Missing?"
Lita: "In the bedroom."
Todd: "In the WHERE?!"
Lita: ...
Todd: ...
Lita: ...
Todd: "Isn't the Trojan Man suppose to gallop in?"
Lita: "I dunno. I gave him directions to this place last week..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/09.jpg
Pipe: "Hey, you were supposed to mail me to the North Koreans last week! Now when are they gonna get their uranium?"
Snitsky: "It's NOT MY FAULT!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/11.jpg
Not satisfied with invisible crucifixion, Triple H resorts to scalping.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/15.jpg
Christy: "So where's the other FF X-2 chick?"
Carmella: "I dunno. She found out the only way her heart will go."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/19.jpg
Everyone: "What do you mean, 'Rigged?'"

Transplant:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/09.jpg
Pipe: Your chicken crapped in my yard.
Snitsky: I told you, ITS NOT MY FOWEL!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/13.jpg
Randy: OK, so who ordered the jelly doughnuts?

tucsonspeed6:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/09.jpg
Gene: It's.....Not.....My......Fff--. Dammit, why'd they write my lines so small on this thing?!?"

impact player:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/09.jpg
what will your face look like when you realise your penis is a lead pipe

Innovator:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/09.jpg
Nancy Kerrigan: WHY?! WHY ME!?
Gene: ITS NOT MY FAULT!

loopydate:
http://raw.wwe.com/results/100404/images/13.jpg
First Cat Stevens, now Randy Orton. You'd think Homeland Security would have something better to do with themselves.


SmackDOWN! [10-7-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/images/11.jpg
"Ahahaha! Yup, you got me. I'm really Kurt Angle under a giant wig. Hahahaha."

Aussie_Skier:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/images/02.jpg
Rey: "619!"
Rene: "You idiot, your meant to kick me in the head"
Rey: "But I a....oh right, wrong head!"

El Santo:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/images/02.jpg
Rene: "Not a stickler for a tickler, eh, mon amis?"
Rey: "Nope, not a tickler stickler."

Big Vito 22:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/images/01.jpg
Scary Spice makes her WWE debut.

Mayo:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/images/07.jpg
Joey Radd's didn't react well after he seeing his penis all over the internet.

M-A-G:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/images/02.jpg
Rey takes a breath of fresh air after escaping from the belly of Rene Dupree.

impact player:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/images/02.jpg
everyone had heard the rumors, but you still cant help to be shocked when you see renee dupree's large french fry wearing a mask


RAW [10-11-2004]
Xero Limit 126:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/01.jpg
Vince: ... So this is where I will be when my explosive diarrhea acts up...

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/12.jpg
Kane loved watching his Male Breast Feeding with Gene Snitsky DVD...

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/17.jpg
Edge: HA! DOUBLE you can't see me!

gonMad00:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/14.jpg
Medic: People, does he have a name?
Crowd: Umm... I dunno.. never seen him before.. I think he's new..
A fan from crowd: ...WITCH! HE'S A WITCH! BURN HIM!
Crowd: BURN HIM!!
Test: Phew.. glad I didn't go out there..

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/18.jpg
After a night with Heidenreich, you'll never feel the same again!

Gouda:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/12.jpg
Snitsky: WTF Kane! I'm busy breastfeeding my baby! Whachu lookin' at?
Kane: It's not my f-
Snitsky: HEY!

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/10.jpg
Lawler: "'Brock Lesnar to return with Ultimate Warrior gimmick; Also, hot pics of Stephanie in the shower! Turn to Page 5.' Huh."

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/11.jpg
Eugene: "Hey... girl hugging my waist... lower."

Jorgha:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/02.jpg
Trish shows poor sportsmanship after loosing the Hokey Pokey championship.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/09.jpg
Thinking you're Triple H, just another side effect of hunger. Grab a Snickers.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/12.jpg
Kane, like most cows, learned to sleep standing up.

Apprentice:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/12.jpg
Kane had another reason to be mad when he cut his head after watching Snitsky's "How to cut your own hair" video.

Fryza:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/18.jpg
And the first ever 'Touch Your Balls' Iron-Man competition is off to a great start!


addy2hotty:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/18.jpg
Michaels - 'I told you we'd catch something over here in England'

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/09.jpg
Jericho ran head first into the new 'Rocky-like' Batista statue being proudly unveiled in the ring

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/11.jpg
Yes, it's true. English girls will do anything for money.

El Santo:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/13.jpg
No one was more surprised than Kane when Rosey suddenly shot a white-hot fireball out his ass.

[Corkscrewed]

Taboo Tuesday
Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/05.jpg
There was hell to pay when Austin's old girlfriends found him and got their revenge, forcing him into a thong and a tutu.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/09.jpg
She may have won the title, but Trish wasn't sure of the "being tied to a leash and treated like a bitch" first prize that Vince had set out.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/11.jpg
Kane: "GAHHH!!! MY STOMACH!!!"
Gene: "Well, that's your problem, Glenn. Your intestines are made of chains."

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/28.jpg
Flair wasn't too impressed with Orton's T-Rex impression.

Xero Limit 126:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/05.jpg
Steve Austin didn't think this was his ideal comeback match...

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/06.jpg
Victoria: **PUSH** TIMMMBERRRRR!
Molly and Trish: STOP THAT!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/08.jpg
Victoria didn't exactly have Taker's "flip-over-ropes" move down...

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/25.jpg
Triple H: Help me God! Help me defeat...
God: Shut up Hunter...

addy2hotty:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/01.jpg
The two fans were later ejected for throwing a couple of midcarder's in the ring

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/27.jpg
The Dentist In A Cage match was a raging success

Innovator:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/08.jpg
Hottest. 619. Ever

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/25.jpg
Triple H: God?
God: Wrong guy Hunter!
Buddha: It's ok...I'm used to it

Jonster:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/16.jpg
Bischoff (singing): Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes.

PorkSoda:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/16.jpg
Bishoff: LITA HAS TO CUT MY HAIR?!?!?!?!?!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/27.jpg
Orton was told not to go inside and pet the gorilla, now look what happened.

Always450:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/07.jpg
What a naughty boy, that Harry Potter! Taking advantage of his cloak of invisibility like that!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/14.jpg
We all know that Nick Dinsmore is a talented wrestler, but when he was told that he could have carried WCW’s excess baggage, he took it a little to literally…

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/24.jpg
HHH: Hey Shawn, I can do The People’s Elbow better than The Rock, can’t I?
HBK: Yes Indeed!!!!! You, sir, are the man! Please don’t send me to midcard hell! You rule the ring, Hunter!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/19.jpg
Eric knew he was going to be sorry when he argued that Pat Patterson was the best IC champion ever.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/taboo_tuesday/images/03.jpg
And at this point Mark Henry thanks Dean Simon for helping him get in shape to win the title!


SmackDOWN! [10-14-2004]
Xero Limit 126:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/101404/images/1014b.jpg
John: You are getting very sleepy...
Paul: I am getting very sleepy...
John: When I snap my fingers, you will give RVD a push or be fired...
Paul: When you snap your fingers, I will give RVD a push or be fired...
John: **Snap** So Paul, how do you feel?
Paul: I feel the strange urge to be fired because I feel something is impossible...

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/101404/images/1014p.jpg
(Seconds later)
Luther: Oh yeah... OH YEAH! DO IT TO ME BABY!
Kurt: YEAH BITCH! SWALLOW!
Eddie: Muh ma muh muf...
Mark: Yeah bitch, eat that cupcake!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/101404/images/101404cover.jpg
Kurt: Wait! Wait! I DIDN'T do it! I didn't shoot Bambi!
Big Show: YES YOU DID YOU MONSTER!!!!!

Superslim:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/101404/images/1014a.jpg
Billy: Oh no. You caught it. You caught the Kevin Nash syndrome.

gonMad00:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/101404/images/1014i.jpg
Angle: Hey, a glass ceiling.. didn't know it was day already..
Gangrel/Viscera: NOOOOO!!! **burns up, KABOOMS! **

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/101404/images/1014a.jpg
Haas: "AGH! My knee!!!"
Kidman: "Not again! DAMN YOU TANYA HARDING!!!"

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/101404/images/1014h.jpg
Carlito: "Tsk tsk tsk. Shouldn't have said Nancy Kerrigan was better."

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/101404/images/1014l.jpg
Rey might be overcompensating a bit for his no-pubes complex.


SmackDOWN! [10-21-2004]
Always450:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/01.jpg
Torri: If elected president of the United States Of America, I will do my acceptance speech topless!
Carltio: She has my vote.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/02.jpg
That would be the last time that Rico glued a wig on Kurt.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/04.jpg
Long: Wow Mark Henry! You really lost a lot of weight after going on the Simon System!
Booker:Are you even listening to me! I am not Mar---
Long: How would you like a title shot, Mark Henry?
Booker: I’ll teach JBL why I’m the world’s strongest man!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/09.jpg
Mark: And then he told me to go fuck myself for using insider terms!
Eddie: That’s how Flair responded to you introducing yourself?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/10.jpg
Heyman: You think Blacks have it bad? What about the Jews!?!?! Oh, so your people picked cotton. Well my people built the pyramids!!!!
Long: Must… Control… Fist…. Of…. Rage….
Heyman: Your people had a war to stop slavery! What did MY people have?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/14.jpg
Vince: This isn’t want I meant when I told Booker T to carry JBL in the match!
Random Backstage Guy: But Mr. McMahon, ratings are on the rise!
Vince: This is exactly what I meant when I told Booker T to carry JBL in the march!

Xero Limit 126:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/01.jpg
Torrie: And then he stuck his (BEEEP) in my (BEEEEP) and we (BEEEP)ed all night long!
(Carlito stops mid-chew and drops some apple out of his mouth...)
Carlito: Now THAT'S cool...

Jonster:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/07.jpg
"So that's where Little Johnny's got to..."

Savior:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/10.jpg
"You want me to join the Black Panthers?"

gonMad00:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/08.jpg
Teddy: Stop doing your Peter as Jabba the Hutt impression!
CCC: Bodabodo solo Nipple pinchy.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/10.jpg
They came together to attempt to form a vase. Instead, they got a lamp.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/07.jpg
Heidenreich: Now, do you remember the first thing I told you, Gary..so, do it! oooOOh! Ok, I can trust you now.
PorkSoda:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/102104/images/01.jpg
Stumbling through the museum of fine arts, CCC discovers a statue of Dr. Ruth giving the young girls a look at how they should enhance their sex lives.

[Corkscrewed]

RAW [10-25-2004]
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_102504/images/12.jpg
PWN'ED!

gonMad00:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_102504/images/03.jpg
Ref: Wow... I've got to do that to my wife sometime.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_102504/images/10.jpg
M. Bison (in crowd): Ah, my move was better!
Orton: ...Father???

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_102504/images/07.jpg
Christian displays his best Southerner impression.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_102504/images/11.jpg
Here you see how Hunter traps midcarders to feed to his lions.

Krypton Knight:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_102504/images/11.jpg
Introducing our newest product, The Fly Hunter 5000! Now with chair swatting action!

SammyG:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_102504/images/07.jpg
It appears Christian has not been introduced to Right Guard

Xero Limit 126:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_102504/images/12.jpg
Triple H: No... I'll give you anything...
Randy: ANYTHING?
Triple H: ANYTHING!
Benoit: I want a 1 year title run follwed by 10 years in the main event.
Triple H: Done...
Randy: I want you out of the main event forever...
Triple H: Done... Now can I have the tape back?
Randy: What tape?
Triple H: .............. SHIT!

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20041026/capt.vgej11510260334.radio_music_awards_vgej115.jpg
Hogan: That's right Vince! She can be all yours if I get one more run!
Vince: Mmmmm... DONE!
Brooke: BUT... BUT DAD!
Hogan: It's okay hon, it'll all work out in the end!
Vince: C'mon hon, I want to start NOW!
(Vince starts to drag Brooke off)
Brooke: DAAAAAAAAAAD!!!
Hogan: Have fun!


SmackDOWN! [10-28-2004]
Xero Limit 126:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/102804/images/06.jpg
Kevin Nash (At home): Zzzzap!
Eddie: OH MY LEG! I THINK MY QUAD IS TORN!
Triple H (With Nash): ... And so it begins...

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/102804/images/07.jpg
Dawn: I have 3! Do I have 4? 4! Do I have... 6!? Okay! I will now attempt to suck SIX at once!
Torrie: ... Shit...

Innovator:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/102804/images/10.jpg
Orlando: Sir, Human Shield failed...

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/102804/images/05.jpg
Rey's childhood regression illness quickly reached serious heights when he tried to simulate his own birth with Kurt Angle.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/102804/images/13.jpg
Peter Pan: "Fuck! Now I DO want to grow up!!"

ColdwaVer:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/102804/images/01.jpg
Al Snow: Unfortunately, due to Vince's interperetation of the Diva search ratings, you're all going to put on bikinis and roll around in jello.

Transplant:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/102804/images/10.jpg
..."You're right, I should have carried the 2"

[Corkscrewed]

November

SmackDOWN! [11-4-2004]
Drakul:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/110404/images/06.jpg
Heidenrich debuts his new gimmick..The Underraper

Innovator:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/110404/images/08.jpg
Black guy: *ding*
Guy in the middle: *ding*
Shockey look a like: ......DING

loopydate:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/110404/images/01.jpg
KURT: You call that a vase?!? I should kick your ass!

Xero Limit 126:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/110404/images/07.jpg
The penis size contest was off to a great start... Atleast until a drunk Al Snow wandered in...

PorkSoda:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/110404/images/06.jpg
Guy: (reading) Triple H was here....what the...??

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/110404/images/06.jpg
Heidenreich: "WATCH ME USE MY TONGUE!!!! LAAAAA!!!!"
Haas: "Oh no, please don't let--hey, it really IS a little Johnny..."


RAW [11-8-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/13.jpg
Maria: "Wow! A symmetrical vase!"

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/15.jpg
Benoit: "Give.. me.. back.. my FURBY!!!!"

Transplant:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/07.jpg
Tomko: Oh Shit, the Iraqis are attacking from the sky....Operation Human Shield GO!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/10.jpg
Snitsky: So I found this baby on the front step of my house one day. So I nursed it as my own. The only weird thing is that whenever I ask him if he wants a nappy change or a warm bottle of milk, it always replies with "Im not telling you anything you dont already know"

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/12.jpg
Trips: I told you, microphone beats everything.
Snitsky: Even Paper?

impact player:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/06.jpg
urge to kill rising

Xero Limit 126:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/03.jpg
Batista does his best Kirby impression, and it was working! He was starting to suck Randy's face off!

gonMad00:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/07.jpg
Tomko: Well, hey there, little guy! Looks like you fell out your cage. Go back in now.. **places Benj back in O'Haire's cage** Good boy. RING'S FOR BIG PEOPLE. :)

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/09.jpg
Note to Trish: Never touch Rhyno's stuff.

Always450:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/10.jpg
The new public breast feeding champion.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/12.jpg
Gene: I’ve punted more babies than you!
HHH: I’ve held down more people than you.
Gene:…touché…..

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/14.jpg
Batista: So Trips, what are you going to do with your week of owning Raw?
Triple H: Oh, it’s going to be an awesome face turn!
Batista: How the hell can someone like you pull a face turn?
Triple H: Well, first I’m going to trade Steven Richards for Hardcore Holly under the stipulation that Richards gets a US title run.
Batista: You’re going to need a lot more to turn face.
Triple H: Then I’m going to fire Holly.
Batisa: That’ll get it done.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/new/2004_11_08_raw/images/15.jpg
Benoit: Hey Edge remember when you said it would be a cold day in hell when the Sox win the world series?
Edge: Yeah.
Benoit: And remember when you said it would be a cold day in hell when I could have sex with your wife?


SmackDOWN! [11-11-2004]
gonMad00:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/111004/images/05.jpg
Ref: WOW! A Lionsault by Mysterio on top of the man who invented it!
Spike: Um, I'm not Jerich--
M. Bison (in the crowd): That had to be the worst Psycho Crusher ev--
Mysterio: It's not a P-- (looks at ref) Nick Carter?!
M. Bison: Wait, why the hell am I still here?!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/111004/images/06.jpg
Oh, that Mr. Magoo. Always walking into trouble.. and Eddie's dropkicks.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/111004/images/09.jpg
Big Show does his best impression of Tara Reid at a party.

Xero Limit 126:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/111004/images/02.jpg
Torrie (Thinking): Damn Santa is HOT! No wonder mom was kissing him!

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/111004/images/09.jpg
The bitch slap from Hell.

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/111004/images/06.jpg
Suffice to say, this was the most violent invisible pole dance Eddie had EVER done.

trnbuckle:
http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/results/images/111004cover.jpg
Angle: Damnit ref, I said shoot him in the ass, not the knee.


RAW [11-15-2004]
Always450:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_111504/images/01.jpg
Jericho: Maven, Mave, wake up.
Maven: *mumble mumble* Is Triple H done with his promo yet?

Aussie_Skier:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_111504/images/05.jpg
Christy: "Your cute, wanna fuck?"

Transplant:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_111504/images/08.jpg
Maven and Trips didnt know what to do when they caught each other masturbating.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_111504/images/01.jpg
RAW's Tough Enough competition came with a Last Man Standing After Watching Footage Of Bradshaw And Edge In The Shower Match

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_111504/images/02.jpg
After 5 minutes, Maven is eliminated and Snitsky has the upper hand in a triple threat Soul Extracting match.

Rock Bottom:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_111504/images/09.jpg
Benoit: MUST (Yank!) SOLVE (Yank!) SCOOBIE-DOO (Yank!) Mystery!

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_111504/images/05.jpg
Here in the unrated adult version of The Polar Express, you see the Santa come to an unfortunate end when his hos finally get tired of his abusive pimping.

[Corkscrewed]

SmackDOWN! [11-18-2004]
Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/111804/images/05.jpg
When Anal Fisting Goes Wrong II.

El Santo:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/111804/images/01.jpg
Cena's dark, homophobic side surfaces when --- in a regrettable moment --- he catches Carlito in a push-up bra.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/111804/images/02.jpg
We know that wrestling can get hardcore, but Cena using the latest Harry Potter book as a weapon? That's going too far!

loopydate:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/111804/images/02.jpg
Here, Carlito falls for the classic "Hey, look at the blinking light on the camera!" trick.


RAW [11-22-2004]
gonMad00:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_112204/images/03.jpg
RKO: How 'bout now, Hunter? Can you find Waldo now?!
Maven: Yeah, he's not behind me.. oh, yes, he is. Nevermind...
RKO: :nono:

Transplant:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_112204/images/03.jpg
Randy: WHAT DO WE WANT?
Wrestlers: MORE WORLD TITLE REIGNS IN THE NEXT THREE YEARS
Randy: WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
Wrestlers: IN THE NEXT THREE YEARS

Sascha:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_112204/images/03.jpg

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_112204/images/02.jpg
Flair: So....which one's career haven't you started to ruin yet
HHH: Uhhhhhhhh.....


SmackDOWN! [11-25-2004]
Gouda:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/112504/images/04.jpg
Joy: Yeah, the funniest thing happened. I poked the Pillsbury Dough Boy and he..... kind of exploded. Yes. Nothing sexual was going on. Nothing at all. :shifty:

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/112504/images/06.jpg
Haas: I believe they call it.... menages trois.

Corkscrewed:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/112504/images/02.jpg
Hilarity strikes when Big Bird gets access to the rafters.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/112504/images/03.jpg
The new WWE Anti-Semen Protective Mask wasn't that efficient.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/112504/images/04.jpg
Sure, Joy is hot and all, but she can't apply mousse for shit.

http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/112504/images/05.jpg
This would be Kurt's greatest test yet in the Put the Body Parts Back in Correct Order Contest.

[Corkscrewed]

RAW [11-X-2004]

[Corkscrewed]

December

SmackDOWN! [12-X-2004]

[Corkscrewed]

SmackDOWN! [12-X-2004]

[Corkscrewed]

RAW [12-X-2004]

[Corkscrewed]

OCTOBER:

Always450:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/102104/images/04.jpg
Long: Wow Mark Henry! You really lost a lot of weight after going on the Simon System!
Booker:Are you even listening to me! I am not Mar---
Long: How would you like a title shot, Mark Henry?
Booker: I’ll teach JBL why I’m the world’s strongest man!

Big Vito 22:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_102504/images/12.jpg
PWN'ED!

Fryza:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw_101104/images/18.jpg
And the first ever 'Touch Your Balls' Iron-Man competition is off to a great start!

Mayo:
http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/smackdown/100704/images/07.jpg
Joey Radd's didn't react well after he seeing his penis all over the internet.

[Corkscrewed]

Overflow space.


And um... oh yeah, I updated the archive through the end of September.

[V]

sweet, i made the thread, even if it's just one caption, i'm glad i've made some sort of archive on tpww

[Corkscrewed]

It appears that WWE moved just about all of their pictures to another URL, so I'm not sure I'll be able to continue this, since basically the whole first six months have been lost.

[Savio]

Woo Whooo! No repeats!

[PorkSoda]

Cork, just continue it the way it is even though the others seem to be lost :) :yes: :wave: :y:

[Corkscrewed]

November up. Bleh.