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View Full Version : JR Retiring, breaking news inside.


Kane Knight
04-19-2005, 06:01 PM
It is being reported that after raw went off the air Monday night, JR was handed a microphone. He said he wanted to set a few things straight.

First, he addressed his recent "food-related" comments, which broke the WWE's policy of specifically addressing the internet. He felt it was in poor taste to make fun of such it, and decided to reveal why. Good Ole Jim Ross is now 3 months pregnant. The food cravings are merely indicative of his condition.Expect a 90 lb bouncing baby sooner in October.

Second, he addressed the recent backstage politics, and voiced extreme displeasure with the fan's reaction to Lita. He reminded them that she had recently lost a baby, and that this likely contributed to her behaviour. Obviously, he was not so glib, and slipped up a few times (Shouting "Stunner!")

Last, with the WWE's blatant disregard to the safety of his unborn child, Jim Ross announced his immediate retirement. He said the work conditions were intolerable enough without the imminent physical harm he was being subjected to.

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I would like to offer my best wishes to JR in all future endeavors.

Some notes:



Rumours backstage indicate that HHH Begged him to have an abortion. This match was evidently booked in retaliation.
Ross is not showing yet, but that's to be expected from a man whose breasts are larger than most toddlers.
I personally caught up to Ross' ringside partner, Jerry "The King" Lawler this afternoon. When I asked him if he knew who the father was, he kicked me in the balls and ran.

adamwwe
04-19-2005, 06:14 PM
LMAO... funny stuff

Crashnburn
04-19-2005, 06:14 PM
Damn you for getting my hopes up! I've been waiting for them get JR out from behind the announce table for long time now.

Now that that's over I would like to speculate on who the father of JR's child is. I bet it's Edge. After his recent actions it deffinately seems like he will nail anything that walks upright (and a few things that don't).

Fignuts
04-19-2005, 06:21 PM
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Kane Knight again.

Nervous Ferret
04-19-2005, 06:43 PM
JR is pregnant? :?:

PureHatred
04-19-2005, 09:31 PM
BAH GAWD NO MORNING AFTER PILL!!

Corkscrewed
04-20-2005, 12:11 AM
Buahahaahha!!! :rofl:

KK cracks me up.

Kane Knight
04-20-2005, 12:16 AM
BAH GAWD NO MORNING AFTER PILL!!
Sadly, he's catholic.

M. Banana
04-20-2005, 12:18 AM
The hell started these food jokes?

loopydate
04-20-2005, 12:19 AM
BAH GAWD, THAT MORNING SICKNESS AIN'T MADE A PICKLES!

Mmm... Pickles.