Kane Knight
06-21-2005, 05:16 PM
Grand Slam and Triple D's: By now, it's no secret that Triple H has eased off the steroids. Inside sources indicate that he has been undergoing hormone therapy, in preparation for a women's title run.
It appears that Triple H was tired of the disregard given to the women's title, and felt a strong champion could save the division. The true lockerroom leader he is, Trips decided to "take one for the team." Expect his new theme to be performed by the re-uniting Spice Girls, and whatever you do, DON'T download the new sex tape.
Corrected: Mick Foley will not be returning to the ring. It turns out he just likes to hang around amusement parks with a mask and sock puppet.
Update: Ric Flair's surgery has been successful. He no longer faces a battle with breast cancer, but he will not be cleared to WOOOO for another 6-8 weeks.
Draft update: Tonight's draft pick was originally expected to be Shannon Moore, but Bradshaw and Holly got him drunk last night, put him in a panda suit, and airmailed him to China. Current plans are unknown, but someone of equal value is expected to replace him. Knowing the WWE's respect for Moore, this will likely be Michael Cole's stylist, or the Spanish Announce Table.
JBL is now hailed as a financial wizard, but can he cut it in the world of politics? This weekend, John "Bradshaw" Layfield announced that he would be backing controversial Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan, functioning as a political advisor. Layfield stated that it was unfair to limit his success to wrestling and finance, and that he had never backed a loser.
JBL will not be at Smackdown on Tuesday, due to head trauma receieved at the same rally. Apparently, his comment that he had never backed a loser were met with skepticism, as the press onhand asked about his support for the "Coleman for President" campaign. JBL was unable to comment, as his head prmotly exploded. No word has been issued on his condition.
Ultimate Warrior Strikes again: In a controversial move, Warrior has changed his name once again. From now on, he will legally be known as "Hulk Hogan." Whether this incurrs legal action from any of the parties related to the Terry Bolea character is yet to be seen.
Bleak Sabbath: Steve Borden has formed a new Christian rock band, titled simple "He." He is expected to debut in six months time, though they have already released a track through MP3.com and Myspace, titled "The Lord is my bat." Theology expert Mel Gibson has confirmed that Jesus Christ is, in fact, spinning in His grave.
And that was the week that was/.
For the latest news, keep tuned to www.ithinkmytesticlesarecancerous.com.
It appears that Triple H was tired of the disregard given to the women's title, and felt a strong champion could save the division. The true lockerroom leader he is, Trips decided to "take one for the team." Expect his new theme to be performed by the re-uniting Spice Girls, and whatever you do, DON'T download the new sex tape.
Corrected: Mick Foley will not be returning to the ring. It turns out he just likes to hang around amusement parks with a mask and sock puppet.
Update: Ric Flair's surgery has been successful. He no longer faces a battle with breast cancer, but he will not be cleared to WOOOO for another 6-8 weeks.
Draft update: Tonight's draft pick was originally expected to be Shannon Moore, but Bradshaw and Holly got him drunk last night, put him in a panda suit, and airmailed him to China. Current plans are unknown, but someone of equal value is expected to replace him. Knowing the WWE's respect for Moore, this will likely be Michael Cole's stylist, or the Spanish Announce Table.
JBL is now hailed as a financial wizard, but can he cut it in the world of politics? This weekend, John "Bradshaw" Layfield announced that he would be backing controversial Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan, functioning as a political advisor. Layfield stated that it was unfair to limit his success to wrestling and finance, and that he had never backed a loser.
JBL will not be at Smackdown on Tuesday, due to head trauma receieved at the same rally. Apparently, his comment that he had never backed a loser were met with skepticism, as the press onhand asked about his support for the "Coleman for President" campaign. JBL was unable to comment, as his head prmotly exploded. No word has been issued on his condition.
Ultimate Warrior Strikes again: In a controversial move, Warrior has changed his name once again. From now on, he will legally be known as "Hulk Hogan." Whether this incurrs legal action from any of the parties related to the Terry Bolea character is yet to be seen.
Bleak Sabbath: Steve Borden has formed a new Christian rock band, titled simple "He." He is expected to debut in six months time, though they have already released a track through MP3.com and Myspace, titled "The Lord is my bat." Theology expert Mel Gibson has confirmed that Jesus Christ is, in fact, spinning in His grave.
And that was the week that was/.
For the latest news, keep tuned to www.ithinkmytesticlesarecancerous.com.