BobBitchen
11-13-2005, 09:50 PM
From Lords of pain
Unsolved Mysteries of the WWE: Part 1
Who broke Edge's neck?
The setting: No Way Out 2003
The backstory: The main event to Wrestlemania 19 had been set. Brock Lesnar would challenge Kurt Angle for his WWE Championship. Kurt Angle had also recently brought in two cronies, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas, to do Kurt's dirty work. Then General Manager Stephanie McMahon set up a six-man tag team match for No Way Out between Team Angle and Brock Lesnar, Chris Benoit, and Edge. However, on the night of the Pay-Per-View, Edge was assaulted backstage by an unknown assailant. Not only did this brutal attack take him out of the match, but caused him to miss a year of action while he recuperated (in the storylines anyway).
The answer: The mysterious assailant was never revealed, and Edge never seemed to care about finding out who did it either. The storyline was quickly forgotten, but I know the real answer.
Logic might say that Team Angle had the most to gain by removing Edge from the match. After all, without Edge, it became a 3-on-2 handicapped match. Kurt Angle also had a long history with Edge. First they were best of friends as part of Team ECK, then they had a lengthy feud in the middle of 2002. However, Angle was feuding at that time with Brock Lesnar, who was the number one contender. Wouldn't it make more sense for Team Angle to take out Lesnar, if they were behind it? So I don't think it was them.
The man who took out Edge was none other than Nathan Jones. At the time of No Way Out, Nathan Jones was just getting ready to debut. As a matter of fact, although it might be hard to believe now, there was a lot of positive buzz around the debut of Nathan Jones due to a series of vignettes. He had just escaped from Australian prison, and was ready to tear a new one in Smackdown superstars everywhere.
The absence of Edge created a big void in the very crowded Smackdown upper card. You could not ask for a better time to debut a potential superstar like Nathan Jones. Jones was propelled immediately into a Wrestlemania program alongside the Undertaker. Quite a rub for just a rookie. If Edge had been around, there might not have been room for Nathan Jones at Wrestlemania. Jones knew this, and that's why he clobbered Edge backstage at No Way Out.
Of course, by the time Edge returned to action, Jones was already out of the company, so the dream feud everyone wanted never happened.
Who attacked Eddie Guerrero, Kurt Angle, and Chavo Senior in a series of backstage attacks on Smackdown?
The setting: Smackdown, February 2004
The backstory: In the wake of the feud between Eddie and Chavo Guerrero, a series of strange backstage attacks occured during Smackdown tapings. First was Eddie. Chavo pleaded innocent to the attack, but Rey didn't believe it and proceeded to beat the tar out of him. This misunderstanding started the Rey-Eddie feud. However, that same night, Eddie returned from the hospital just in time to beat Kurt Angle and become the number one contender in a battle royal. Two weeks later, Kurt Angle and Eddie are scheduled to take on Brock Lesnar and Big Show in the main event, when Angle is taken out with a chairshot backstage. Next week, Chavo Senior was supposed to be the referee a match between Chavo Jr and Eddie Guerrero when he was taken out. Kurt Angle replaced Chavo Senior in that match and took the opportunity to beat the Hell out of Eddie and turn Heel on him.
The answer: Well, it might seem on the surface as if Kurt Angle was behind all of these attacks. After all, in hindsight, all of these attacks hurt Eddie Guerrero, either directly or indirectly. The jealous Kurt Angle first tried to prevent Eddie from becoming the number one contender, then tried to take his title. Also realize that by faking his own beating, he could have thought he was putting Eddie in a handicapped match. All three attacks have clear-cut motivation for Kurt Angle. Yet, there's only one problem with this answer. Kurt never fessed up to the attacks. Even after turning on Eddie, he never admitted to the crime. In fact, the attacks were never brought up again, ever. The initial Eddie-Angle feud was SO rushed, and so crappy, that you'd think that the WWE would have granted the opportunity to add fuel to the fire by adding history to Angle's hate. So because the WWE couldn't possible be that stupid (*cough*), that must mean that Kurt Angle did not commit those attacks. So who did?
The perpetrator was none other than Ernest "The Cat" Miller. Yes, it was the Cat. Why was it the Cat? Because he needed to do it to save his job. The Cat was one of those former WCW guys who was given another chance in the WWE, but he was pretty much misused. He did a few dances, but he never wrestled or was involved in any storylines. The creative team not having anything for him, he knew he was on the chopping block. His best chance to save his job was to win the Smackdown Royal Rumble, so out of desperation, he attacked one of the favorites of the match, Eddie Guerrero, to better his odds. Unfortunately, the plan didn't work, as Miller lost the match and Eddie won anyway.
Now REALLY desperate, the Cat tried the opposite approach and tried confiding in Eddie. Eddie had no idea that it was the Cat who attacked him, and so the Cat was able to convince Eddie that he had his back if he ever needed it. Thinking that he had Eddie's confidence, he took out Kurt Angle backstage and tried to insert himself in the Smackdown main event. If he and Eddie managed to beat Big Show and Brock Lesnar, there was no way they'd fire him. Unfortunately, Eddie chose John Cena as his replacement partner, and the Cat was jilted once again.
Now with having done nothing meaningful, and with unemployment imminent, he decided to cut his losses by taking a pay-off from Kurt Angle, who also oddly was unaware that the Cat was the one who had attacked HIM. He learned of Angle's plans to double-cross Eddie, so he took ten dollars to take out Chavo Guerrero Senior and let Kurt Angle become the new referee. This would be the Cat's only reward, as he was fired soon thereafter. He took that ten dollars and bought himself a Happy Meal.
Tune in next week as I get to the bottom of more unsolved mysteries. I don't want to give away too much, but I'll just say that yes, Katie Vick is involved.
To be concluded...
Unsolved Mysteries of the WWE: Part 1
Who broke Edge's neck?
The setting: No Way Out 2003
The backstory: The main event to Wrestlemania 19 had been set. Brock Lesnar would challenge Kurt Angle for his WWE Championship. Kurt Angle had also recently brought in two cronies, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas, to do Kurt's dirty work. Then General Manager Stephanie McMahon set up a six-man tag team match for No Way Out between Team Angle and Brock Lesnar, Chris Benoit, and Edge. However, on the night of the Pay-Per-View, Edge was assaulted backstage by an unknown assailant. Not only did this brutal attack take him out of the match, but caused him to miss a year of action while he recuperated (in the storylines anyway).
The answer: The mysterious assailant was never revealed, and Edge never seemed to care about finding out who did it either. The storyline was quickly forgotten, but I know the real answer.
Logic might say that Team Angle had the most to gain by removing Edge from the match. After all, without Edge, it became a 3-on-2 handicapped match. Kurt Angle also had a long history with Edge. First they were best of friends as part of Team ECK, then they had a lengthy feud in the middle of 2002. However, Angle was feuding at that time with Brock Lesnar, who was the number one contender. Wouldn't it make more sense for Team Angle to take out Lesnar, if they were behind it? So I don't think it was them.
The man who took out Edge was none other than Nathan Jones. At the time of No Way Out, Nathan Jones was just getting ready to debut. As a matter of fact, although it might be hard to believe now, there was a lot of positive buzz around the debut of Nathan Jones due to a series of vignettes. He had just escaped from Australian prison, and was ready to tear a new one in Smackdown superstars everywhere.
The absence of Edge created a big void in the very crowded Smackdown upper card. You could not ask for a better time to debut a potential superstar like Nathan Jones. Jones was propelled immediately into a Wrestlemania program alongside the Undertaker. Quite a rub for just a rookie. If Edge had been around, there might not have been room for Nathan Jones at Wrestlemania. Jones knew this, and that's why he clobbered Edge backstage at No Way Out.
Of course, by the time Edge returned to action, Jones was already out of the company, so the dream feud everyone wanted never happened.
Who attacked Eddie Guerrero, Kurt Angle, and Chavo Senior in a series of backstage attacks on Smackdown?
The setting: Smackdown, February 2004
The backstory: In the wake of the feud between Eddie and Chavo Guerrero, a series of strange backstage attacks occured during Smackdown tapings. First was Eddie. Chavo pleaded innocent to the attack, but Rey didn't believe it and proceeded to beat the tar out of him. This misunderstanding started the Rey-Eddie feud. However, that same night, Eddie returned from the hospital just in time to beat Kurt Angle and become the number one contender in a battle royal. Two weeks later, Kurt Angle and Eddie are scheduled to take on Brock Lesnar and Big Show in the main event, when Angle is taken out with a chairshot backstage. Next week, Chavo Senior was supposed to be the referee a match between Chavo Jr and Eddie Guerrero when he was taken out. Kurt Angle replaced Chavo Senior in that match and took the opportunity to beat the Hell out of Eddie and turn Heel on him.
The answer: Well, it might seem on the surface as if Kurt Angle was behind all of these attacks. After all, in hindsight, all of these attacks hurt Eddie Guerrero, either directly or indirectly. The jealous Kurt Angle first tried to prevent Eddie from becoming the number one contender, then tried to take his title. Also realize that by faking his own beating, he could have thought he was putting Eddie in a handicapped match. All three attacks have clear-cut motivation for Kurt Angle. Yet, there's only one problem with this answer. Kurt never fessed up to the attacks. Even after turning on Eddie, he never admitted to the crime. In fact, the attacks were never brought up again, ever. The initial Eddie-Angle feud was SO rushed, and so crappy, that you'd think that the WWE would have granted the opportunity to add fuel to the fire by adding history to Angle's hate. So because the WWE couldn't possible be that stupid (*cough*), that must mean that Kurt Angle did not commit those attacks. So who did?
The perpetrator was none other than Ernest "The Cat" Miller. Yes, it was the Cat. Why was it the Cat? Because he needed to do it to save his job. The Cat was one of those former WCW guys who was given another chance in the WWE, but he was pretty much misused. He did a few dances, but he never wrestled or was involved in any storylines. The creative team not having anything for him, he knew he was on the chopping block. His best chance to save his job was to win the Smackdown Royal Rumble, so out of desperation, he attacked one of the favorites of the match, Eddie Guerrero, to better his odds. Unfortunately, the plan didn't work, as Miller lost the match and Eddie won anyway.
Now REALLY desperate, the Cat tried the opposite approach and tried confiding in Eddie. Eddie had no idea that it was the Cat who attacked him, and so the Cat was able to convince Eddie that he had his back if he ever needed it. Thinking that he had Eddie's confidence, he took out Kurt Angle backstage and tried to insert himself in the Smackdown main event. If he and Eddie managed to beat Big Show and Brock Lesnar, there was no way they'd fire him. Unfortunately, Eddie chose John Cena as his replacement partner, and the Cat was jilted once again.
Now with having done nothing meaningful, and with unemployment imminent, he decided to cut his losses by taking a pay-off from Kurt Angle, who also oddly was unaware that the Cat was the one who had attacked HIM. He learned of Angle's plans to double-cross Eddie, so he took ten dollars to take out Chavo Guerrero Senior and let Kurt Angle become the new referee. This would be the Cat's only reward, as he was fired soon thereafter. He took that ten dollars and bought himself a Happy Meal.
Tune in next week as I get to the bottom of more unsolved mysteries. I don't want to give away too much, but I'll just say that yes, Katie Vick is involved.
To be concluded...