Family Guy Wrestling Gags... (5k) [Archive]

Xero

11-25-2005, 01:32 PM

Yeah, 5k, woo! :D

For wrestling-related goodness, and I know this has sort of been done in Scenes from a Hat, think up wrestling-related Family Guy gags...

*Peter and Chris walk up to the front desk of a mall.*

Loud speaker: May I have your attention please, will the person who owns the red sedan please come to the front desk, someone totaled your ca-ALYALAYALALAAAAA! (Someone starts yelling in Farsi.) NO! *COUGH* DON'T! NO! *COUGH COUGH*

*FCC warning comes onto the screen*

FCC Warning: Due to it's graphic nature, this scene has been cut.

Peter: Wow, what a bunch of nice guys. Helping that poor choking announcer like that.

Tornado

11-25-2005, 02:05 PM

Macho Man: I must be in Quahog, cos all I see is a bunch of hicks!
Peter: How dare you, take that back. Doesn't he make you so mad you want to hit him. Well maybe not, he is pretty big, but fon't you want to hit that guy? Well, not that guy, he's pretty big too, but don't you wanna hit his son?
*Peter hits a small boy*

(NB. Actual Family Guy scene)

Peter: Take THAT Macho Man Randy Savage!

loopydate

11-25-2005, 06:10 PM

BRIAN: Oh, wow. Another Triple H title victory.

PETER: Yeah. Remember when he wasn't the sole focus of the product?

[FLASHBACK]

THE UNIVERSE: BANG!

Xero

11-25-2005, 06:55 PM

(Peter tells a stupid joke)

Brian: That joke is lamer than JR's face.

*Everyone gasps*

Brian: Too soon?

Kane Knight

11-25-2005, 06:58 PM

(Peter tells a stupid joke)

Brian: That joke is lamer than JR's face.

*Everyone gasps*

Brian: Too soon?

OMG! YES!

Nervous Ferret

11-25-2005, 07:01 PM

*All the Griffins are selling lemonade infront of their house*

Guy: Hello. :) I'd like to prchase some lemonade.
..
..
..
AHG! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? You people are sick! SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK! 2sicc even. :shifty: *guy runs away*

Lois: Wait sir you forgot your lemonade!

Peter: Thanks Meg you just scared away another one.

Meg: IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

Pinnacle Charisma

11-25-2005, 09:56 PM

Brillant stuff Tornado, Xero and Loopy. When I saw this thread i was like wtf but this is just greatness. Im at a blank now but i write something later

Optimistic T

11-25-2005, 09:58 PM

Kevin Nash: Do I have to tear a quad to get a dry martini around here?

Peter Griffin: You know those Germans; if you don't join the party, they come get you.
JBL: HEIL HITLER!
*JBL goosesteps*

JR: I love this job more than I love BBQ sauce, and I'm a man who loves his BBQ sauce.

Corkscrewed

11-25-2005, 10:07 PM

UNDERTAKER: So I was talking to this girl, and she asks me what my name is, so I tell him, My name's--

RIC FLAIR: * HONK! *

UNDERTAKER: What? So now I can't say * HONK! * inside of my own * HONK! * house??? What the * HONK! * . Great, this just great. My name's * HONK! * and I can't even say * HONK! * just because this * HONK! * thinks language is supposed to be * HONK! * . You know, you're lucky you can * HONK! * my * HONK! * so well. You know, when you * HONK! * the * HONK! * in the * HONK! * with all that * HONK! * in the * HONK! * Episopalian * HONK! * on top of the * HONK! * after * HONK! * . You know... :naughty:

Corkscrewed

11-25-2005, 10:10 PM

REY: Aw, c'mon. How about some highly innovative match wrestling!

MASTERS: Okay, first we'll

* HONK! *

VINCE: I'm sorry, but that action is highly inappropriate.

REY: What? So we can't have a wrestling match???

VINCE: Oh, you can have a match. Just no jumping, no top rope moves, no DDT's, pile drivers, brainbusters, head trauma moves... well, no wrestling moves in general.

REY: Well, that's no fun... how are we supposed to--

MASTERS: I'm done. G'nite Oscar. zzzzZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZ

Xero

11-25-2005, 10:28 PM

Todd Tucker: And now we go to Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa.

Tricia Takanawa: Tricia here, Quahog NUMBA ONE reporta!

Xero

11-25-2005, 10:34 PM

Peter: Remember that time I met John Cena at McDonald's?

Peter: Oh my God! Oh my God! Mr. Cena! I love your work!

Retard in a wheel chair: Blahewuaaguwaaaa...

Peter: Hehehehhehe! Oh man, you're so damn funny! Oh! Do the thing! Do the thing! YOU CAN'T SEE ME! YOU CAN'T SEE M-

*The real John Cena comes in and FUs Peter. Peter gets up no selling it.*

Peter: What the hell was that? Who the hell are you?

Draven

11-25-2005, 11:03 PM

Peter- Wow Lois, I really love that John Cena character. His rhymes are so Coolio-esq.

<font color="red">* Cena is shown celebrating a WWE Title win in the ring and a bear attacks and mauls him*

Xero

11-25-2005, 11:35 PM

Peter: Remember that time I walked into computer-related therapy?

(Flashback)

Host: Now, what is everyone here for?

Matt: I post on message boards to get fired and rehired with pay bonuses.

Shelton Benjamin: I play video games at work.

Kane: Me too.

Brock: YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF GEEKY FAGGOTS!

Peter: Uhhh... This isn't the bathroom, is it?

Corkscrewed

11-26-2005, 01:26 AM

BRIAN: Peter, you never were good at game shows.

*** FLASHBACK ***

ANNOUNCER: The password is... 'FLAMING'

PETER: You....

PALUMBO: Wrestler.

PETER: You....

PALUMBO: Former WWE Superstar.

PETER: You....

PALUMBO: Tag partner.

PETER: You....

Corkscrewed

11-26-2005, 01:28 AM

JR: Hello, guys. This is Mr. Levesque. He's here to pick up the 26 pushes you found.

JERICHO: Aww!

BENOIT: AWW!

MYSTERIO (just like Linus.. or is it Rerun?): AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

46 & 2

11-26-2005, 02:10 AM

Lois: Oh no!

Meg: Oh no!

Chris: Oh no!

Shockmaster: OH YEAH!! (trips, helmet falls off - everybody looks at him strangely - puts helmet back on, steps back through hole)

Corkscrewed

11-26-2005, 03:43 AM

:lol: How could I have totally forgotten that?

Pinnacle Charisma

11-26-2005, 06:38 AM

The family are watching Raw on TV.

Peter- Didn't that cena guy sing that song about ice a few years ago.

Brain- No Peter that was Vanilla Ice

Xero

11-26-2005, 09:29 AM

Peter: Jeez, these reality shows are getting out of hand...

(Cut to TV)

Announcer: Welcome back to Take My Wife.

Matt: You can have her.

Edge: You sure?

Matt: Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

Edge: C'mon, man, I don't WANT her.

Matt: No, no, I insist.

Edge: *Sigh* FINE.

*Edge goes off screen, comes back in a radioactive suite and holds Lita's hand.*

Crashnburn

11-26-2005, 10:28 AM

JR: "My gawd, King! Peter is really taking a pounding! He's getting whooped like a government mule! He's getting taken to the wood shed! This is a real slobberknocker! ...I guess the point I'm trying to get at is that Peter is getting beat down inside the ring."

King: "Yeah, I think we got that, JR. .....PUPPIES!!!"

JR: "Peter needs to get back to his corner to tag in his partner, Pet Rock. What's this?!?! Pet Rock is refusing to tag in!"

King: "Not only that, JR, but I think Pet Rock just pissed all over the place. hahaha... He's smarter than I gave him credit, JR. He knows he doesn't want to get in that ring! ......PUPPIES!!!"

JR: "Peter starting to fight back.... What? NO! Someone just ran in through the crowd..... It's a giant chicken!!! NO!!!! Not like this!!! He just knocked Peter out cold with that steel chair!!!! OH MY GAWD!!!! That chair ain't made out of Bar-B-Q sauce!!!"

King: "....PUPPIES!!!!"

Stewie walks out from under the titan-tron with a ladder and sets up next to King's end of the announce table. He then climbs up the ladder and punches King in the face, knocking him out.

Stewie: to King who's now down on the ground "THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

Xero

11-26-2005, 11:25 AM

Peter: Remember that time I posed as a doctor?

(Flashback to hospital)

Peter: Okay Mr. Nash, now bend you knee.

(Nash bends his knee)

Peter: Okay, more... More... More... More... More... More..

Nash: IT CAN'T GO ANYMORE!

Peter: Sure it can!

(Peter starts pushing on it)

Peter: More... More...

*SNAP*

Nash: AARRRGGHHHH MY QUAD!!!!!

(Peter keeps pushing while Nash is screaming)

Peter: More... More... More... More...

Pinnacle Charisma

11-28-2005, 12:06 AM

Not such a wrestling reference more like a TPWW reference

Peter is on bed.

Peter- Lois, Lois the WWE forum show is on.
Lois hops on the bed.

WWE forum host- We are talking about raw now and I will be gladily be taking your calls.

Caller 1- Raw rules.

Host- Yes it does Your so right. Next caller please.

Caller 2- Uhhh yeah ummm wwe sucks. TNA and CZW is better.

Host- Huh ?

Caller 2- Yeah violence that’s what wrestling should be about. That and all cage ppv’s.

Host – Hang on a sec your that poster from TPWW. Sadistic get out.

Scene 2.

Peter, Chris and Brain are watching the new season of their favourite show Gumble2Gumble.

Peter- I heard this season is when the gumble brothers get moved to a new city.

Cut to Gumble2Gumble

The two gumbles walking into their new station.

The officer- So you are the two guys right.

The gumble brothers nod.

The officers punches both of them.

“You two better watch yourselves you hear”

Cuts back to the family.

Chris- Dad why did that man punch those gumble brothers.

Peter- Well son because when someone is new to a place the people who have been there a long time feel its their duty to uhh punish them so they can pay their dues.\
Chris- I don’t understand.

Brain- Chris just think that cop is the television version of KaneKnight from tpww/
Chris- Oh I get it

Destor

11-28-2005, 12:13 AM

LOL at the KK part. The rest was shit. [runs before the kk flaming begins]

Pinnacle Charisma

11-28-2005, 12:29 AM

Well I re-enacted it from two family guy scenes so I guess I did take a while.

But I don’t think that kk should go on a flaming rage as it was not a joke designed to cause anger but rather a joke that can be enjoyed by both sides.

Us aussies tend to do that.

rob11

11-28-2005, 02:07 AM

Vince is watching a match and suddenly he sees a cruiserweight do a high flying move. Vince runs out and shouts at the cruiserweight.
Vince:Stop it, Stop it, ok?
Cruiserweight: ok
Vince:Alright

rob11

11-28-2005, 02:09 AM

Tom Tucker:Now it's time for the Monday Night Raw forecast with Ollie Williams.

Camera switches to Ollie Williams who is standing in front of a poster of Val Venis.
Ollie:He Gon Job!
Tom Tucker:Thanks Ollie

Both were dumb but whatever.

Boondock Saint

11-28-2005, 02:22 AM

LOL kind of liked them both.

Xero

11-28-2005, 08:41 AM

Xero

11-28-2005, 08:46 AM

Brian: Not all wrestlers make a lot of money, Peter.

Peter: What are you talking about Brian, all wrestlers make a TON of money!

(Peter walks up to the counter at Blockbuster)

Peter: Hey Nick.

Nick: Hey Peter! I'm gonna check you out, TO THE EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME!

*Nick takes the DVDs, runs off screen, gets a ladder, wraps himself in Barbed Wire, gets out a tank of piranhas, climbs the ladder, jumps off, falls in the tank, scans the videos, jumps out the window, runs into the middle of the street, and gets hit by a car.*

Brian: ..... Well, it was bound to happen.

Peter: Yeah................. You want to get some ice cream?

rob11

11-28-2005, 12:09 PM

Scene starts at a street corner where Peter and some guy are arguing.

Peter:That's it, lets go.
Other guy:Ok, I'm going to kick your ass

The other guy punches Peter in the face but Peter does not seem phased. The guy then kicks peter in the stomach but once again Peter acts like he wasn't even hit. Then Peter throws a punch and the other guy goes down.

Peter:Lucky for me I remembered to wear my Hogan No Sell Skin Lotion today.

Kurt Angle is wrestling some jobber on Raw when he looks to taunt the first row of fans. Meg Griffin is sitting there. The jobber also looks and both look like they are about to puke.

Kurt: Did somebody open the Ark of the Covenant?
Kurt: I'm sorry. This is too much!
Kurt: I mean, I can handle ugly. But this is like circus ugly

Xero

11-28-2005, 03:16 PM

Doctor: I'm sorry to tell you, but... You have X Pac heat.

Peter: OH NO!

Lois: OH NO!

Meg: OH NO!

X Pac: OH YEAAAHHHH!...... Hey Joanie, what are you doing here!?

Meg: EWW! GET AWAY FROM ME!

rob11

11-28-2005, 03:34 PM

Doctor: I'm sorry to tell you, but... You have X Pac heat.

Peter: OH NO!

Lois: OH NO!

Meg: OH NO!

X Pac: OH YEAAAHHHH!...... Hey Joanie, what are you doing here!?

Meg: EWW! GET AWAY FROM ME!
That gets a rep

Corkscrewed

11-28-2005, 03:59 PM

STEWIE: Oh, I hope I don't make any social faux pas like I did at Chris Jericho's birthday party.

*** FLASHBACK ***

STEWIE: Hey everybody, sorry I'm late but I just got back from a VIP tour of the Crystal Cathedral and they let all of us walk on top of the glass.... ceil....ing....

Ohhh...... awkward.....

rob11

11-28-2005, 04:02 PM

Xero

11-28-2005, 04:06 PM

Stewie: Ugh, this is more career-ending for another person than the first time I got drunk...

(Flashback to Triple H and Stewie sitting in a bar.)

Stewie: So, Hunter... Hunter. Heh... Hunter, you know that dude Jericho? *Hick* Yeah, well, I think I saw him hugging *HICK* Stephanie last night at the arena... *HICK*

(Triple H gets up looking very angry, picks up his sledgehammer and walks out of the bar)

Stewie: *Hick*.... Or maybe it was *Hick* Vince... I dunno.. Haha, remember that tim-... Hunter?