5000 Posts - I Can Book Anyone To The World Title

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

Probably been done before, but name a wrestler and I will book them to win a World Title.

[Skippord]

Elijah Burke

[HaTeR]

The Shockmaster.

[St. Jimmy]

The German, Alex Wright.

[What Would Kevin Do?]

Me.

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

Elijah Burke
Elijah Burke is shown backstage one week, conversing with Bobby Lashley. He tells Lashley that he is impressed, and that he would make a perfect addition to the New Breed. Lashley says he only works alone, or with Donald Trump. Lashley walks away, leaving Burke with a smile on his face.

Next week, Elijah announces a brand new segment on ECW, 'The Extreme Apprentice'. Elijah introduces a group of hopeful young jobbers who will battle it out to become the next member of the New Breed, and Burke's right hand man. He introduces each jobber, and tells them that their first assignment will be next week (During this angle, the rest of the New Breed will be fighting some other battle).

The next week, Burke sets each jobber the task of beating the Hell out of any old school ECW Original they can find. Whoever doesn't succeed will be fired, and they all disappear backstage looking for the Originals. Lashley spots Burke in the corridor, and congratulates him on his new segment. Elijah says Lashley is the one he should be thanking, since it was his idea. Lashley walks away looking puzzled. Dreamer, RVD, and various other originals, are all attacked backstage by the jobbers. One of the jobbers can't find an ECW Original anywhere, so decides to try to impress Burke by attacking Lashley. The Champ sees him coming and beats up the jobber. Later on, the jobber is fired by Burke.

Next week, Lashley tells Burke to make sure none of his apprentices try to attack him again, or he'll make him pay. Burke tosses his plan for the week in the trash (Most likely because it was a task of beating up Lashley) and sets his jobbers another task he comes up with on the fly. He sets them the task of getting him the most extreme cup of coffee in the building. The jobbers race around to the coffee machines. Lashley stops one of them and asks what he's doing. When the jobber tells him, Lashley tells him he can make it even more extreme. Lashley spits in the coffee, but the jobber doesn't have time to find another cup. Burke drinks all the coffees, and almost pukes at the one containing Lashley saliva. He asks the jobber what happened, and he tells him the truth. The jobber is fired, and Burke says Lashley is gonna pay next week.

The next week, Burke sets his jobbers the task of beating the Hell out of Bobby Lashley. Lashley is fighting off jobbers all night long, until he finally confronts Burke about it. Elijah tells him he'll call them off if Lashley does one of two things, either joins the New Breed, or gives him a title shot. Lashley leaves angrily, not wanting to do either. Later in the show, a few of the jobbers team up and catch Lashley off-guard with steel chairs, knocking him out. The jobber who failed to get in a hit is fired.

Next week, Lashley comes out and tells Burke he can have his shot at the ECW Title at the next PPV. Burke comes out and orders his remaining apprentices to face Lashley in a handicap match. He says whichever one of them makes the pinfall will be his new apprentice. Lashley beats them all to a pulp and wins the match. Burke looks pissed and fires the apprentice that was pinned.

PPV comes along, and Lashley dominates Burke for a while until the final 3 apprentices come out and interfere. Lashley fights them off for most of the match, until the numbers game catches up with him. Burke tells his jobbers to beat down Lashley, but the 3 of them begin to argue about who should get in the hits. They begin to brawl amongst themselves, allowing Lashley to knock them all out the ring. He turns around, when BAM, Elijah takes him down with a chair-assisted Elijah Express to the face. He covers, and wins the match. Elijah celebrates and proceeds to fire all his apprentices, saying he doesn't need them any longer.

The Shockmaster.
On an overseas episode of Raw, Vince McMahon is in the ring when he is interrupted by Eric Bischoff. The Bisch pokes fun at Vince's bald head, saying that grey is better than bald. Vince becomes angry, but Bischoff says 'Vince, don't lose your head' in menacing tones. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the Shockmaster slides into the ring and slams Vince down to the mat. Of course his head falls off, but he quickly puts it back on and they edit it out (that's why this is on an overseas taped Raw).

Next week, Vince places Shockmaster into a match with the Great Khali as a punishment. When Khali nails the mighty chop during the match, all it does is knock Shockmaster's head off (By this stage they realise that Shockmaster will never be able to keep his head on, so they decide to use it as part of his gimmick, much the same way that Maria's dumb-dumb gimmick came about). Khali recoils and cradles his hand, and JR speculates as to whether it is broken. Shockmaster puts his head back on and hits a slam followed by a big splash on Khali for the win.

And next week, Vince tells Shockmaster that he's putting him against someone whose head is just as hard as his... UMAGA! The match is far from a classic, and ends when the Samoan Spike fails to penetrate Shockmaster's head. Umaga's thumb appears to be broken, allowing Shockmaster to pick up the win with his splash.

Week before a PPV, Vince is insane with anger. He says that Shockmaster has embarrassed him for the last time, so he is placing him into a non-title match with the WWE Champion, John Cena. The fans cheer for Shockmaster over Cena. Cena gets him up for the FU, when suddenly Bischoff appears on the ring apron. Cena drops Shockmaster and pulls the Bisch inside, where he prepares to FU him. Shockmaster recovers and smashes Cena over the head with his own detached head while the ref isn't looking, thus picking up the win. Bischoff gets on the mic and says that Shockmaster is now the number one contender, having pinned the Champ. Bisch goes on to talk about how he will have his revenge for Cena's part in his firing. Vince comes out onto the ramp and accepts that he can't deny Shockmaster a title shot, but he makes it a match Shockmaster surely can't win... A TLC match!

PPV, JR talks up how Shockmaster is too fat to climb a ladder, and how Cena surely can't lose. Bischoff is at ringside, as is Vince McMahon. Cena nails an FU through a table, and the crowd think he has it won. Suddenly, Bischoff grabs Cena's leg. Vince climbs into the ring and wrestles Bisch to the outside. Cena reaches up for the belt, but something heavy hits him in the face, knocking him loopy; It is shown to be Shockmaster's head. Shockmaster pushes the ladder backwards, sending Cena crashing over the top and through the Spanish announce table. Shockmaster starts to climb, but his weight unbalances the ladder. He looks under the ring and pulls out a couple of chains. JR wonders what he's doing with them as he chains the ladder to all 4 ringposts. Shockmaster climbs the ladder, and it does not fall. Cena is back in the ring, but Shockmaster again tosses his head at him to knock him out. Shockmaster grabs the title to a huge pop from the crowd. Shockmaster poses with the belt, and the ref raises his hand along with Eric Bischoff.

[Tazz Dan]

Zach Gowen

[Crossrine]

Damn he knows what he's talking about..

[Xero]

Hulk Hogan.

BUT, he actually uses his creative control and says he DOESN'T want to be a champion, and he WILL NOT change his mind throughout the scenario.

Let's see you book that without a shoot.

[Innovator]

Splaya

[SammyG]

The Great Khali

[LoDownM]

D'lo Brown

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

Zach Gowen
(I was gonna go for the obvious Zach comes in as a pirate with a wooden leg, but I thought the idea I've used would be funnier)

The Undertaker is the middle of a successful title defence, when suddenly all the lights go out. A graveyard scene appears on the titantron, and it shows an unmarked grave in the fog. Undertaker is confused, but continues with his match.

The same thing happens several weeks in a row, and eventually costs Taker a non-title match or two. The Undertaker starts to become irritated. He vows to find the graveyard and find out who has been taunting him.

The next week Taker is shown on the titantron at the graveyard, where he walks over to the unmarked grave with a shovel. He starts to dig it up, and after a minute or so he spots something. Undertaker starts to pull out a leg, while JBL goes crazy calling Taker a grave robber and such. Suddenly, the leg comes away, leading the commentators to think Undertaker snapped it off a dead body. Taker stoops down over the hole he has dug, when suddenly a hand reaches out and grabs him by the balls. Taker collapses in agony, and a figure claws its way out of the ground. He stands on one leg, and rolls his eyes back into his head before the screen turns black.

The next week, a coffin floats down to the ring. The lid bursts open, but Taker is not inside. Zach Gowen stands up on his single leg, and rolls back his eyes. He is wearing make-up so he appears as though he's been dead underground for several months. He hops into the ring and poses in an evil manner for a few moments. Suddenly, the lights go out and the Undertaker comes out. They stare each other down, until Taker delivers a chokeslam. Taker starts to pose, but Gowen just sits right back up. Undertaker is shocked, and Zach then delivers a chokeslam all the way to Hell. He picks up Taker's world title and stares at it.

Next week Teddy Long announces that if Zach Gowen can beat Finlay in a number one contender's match, he will have a world title shot at the next PPV. During the match, Hornswaggle distracts the referee, allowing Finlay to grab his shillelagh. Finlay goes for the chop to the leg with it, but aims for the missing leg. Finlay can't believe it and tries again, swinging at thin air once more. Gowen turns round and delivers a thunderous tombstone to Finlay to pick up the win. Undertaker appears on the ramp and the two exchange zombious stares.

At the PPV, both men slug it out. Gowen and Taker have a battle of no-selling, and the crowd are eating it up. Undertaker goes for old school, but Zach counters with a one-legged dropkick that sends Taker out of the ring. Once the fight gets back in the ring, Gowen goes for the tombstone. Taker drops backwards and reverses into the tombstone position, but Gowen reverses once more and hits the tombstone. Zach covers, but Taker kicks out. Taker sits right up and immediately tombstones Zach. Taker covers, but Zach kicks out. Taker goes out the ring and grabs the steel steps, then picks up Gowen for another tombstone. Zach reverses and hits the tombstone onto the steps. Gowen covers Taker for the win. The crowd go wild for their new undead one-legged hero.

The Great Khali
John Cena survives an epic title match with HBK on Raw following Backlash, when suddenly he is taken out by Khali, who chops him into oblivion. The big Indian freak gets on the mic and cuts a barely English rap on John Cena. It goes a little like this:

CEEEEEENAAAAAARRRRRRGGG
YOOOOUUUUU CHAAAMMMMMMPPGGGGG
BUHT YOOOOUUUUUGGG NORRRRRRGGGT GREEEEEAAAAGGGGTHHHT KHHAAAGGLI

It goes on like that for another twenty minutes, but those are the only lines that sound even remotely English. Also, funnily enough, those lines have the best rhyming scheme of the whole rap. Khali then holds up the WWE title, and gives it a little spin with his finger. He seems amused by the spinner belt, before dropping it on Cena's unconscious body.

Next week, out comes Cena to call out Khali. He says that only a crazy retarded talentless wannabe would call out a 7 foot 3 Indian monster, but he just happens to be a crazy retarded talentless wannabe. He throws his shirt in the crowd and soon Khali comes out to the ring. Khali gets on the mic and starts another rap, when Cena cuts him off and tells him he's not black. Khali gets mad and snatches the mic back, before biting the top off it. Cena shrugs and attacks Khali, but is overpowered and tossed out the ring.

The next week, JR and the King show the world Khali's new rap album, and a track is played on the broadcast. The rap is terrible, but the video features Khali having sexual intercourse with Hilary Clinton, so everybody loves it. Cena comes out and tells the world that he heard Khali's CD and thinks the guy has some talent. He challenges Khali to a battle rap next week.

Next week, Khali and Cena face off for a battle rap. Cena goes first, and it goes like this.

Yo, Khali, you're a seven foot three Indian freak,
My whole body ain't as big as your ass cheek.
Your goofy hair gets in your eyes so you can't see,
Which is appropriate, because YOU CAN'T SEE ME.
Some people don't think I can beat you, but I'll take the chance,
The look on your face tells me you just pooped your pants.

At this point, the crowd boo the Hell out of Cena for using a poop joke, and Khali takes the mic.

RAAAAARGRGGGGHRRHRGGHHGGRRRR
CEEEEEEENNNAAAGGGFHHHGHGGFHF

The crowd are loving it, but Cena smashes Khali with a steel chair. The shot has little effect, so Cena delivers another 4 chairshots. Khali eventually falls over the top rope and shakes his head to get the cobwebs out. Cena challenges Khali to a match at the PPV for his WWE title, but adds the stipulation that whoever loses must never release another album. Khali accepts.

Along comes the PPV, and Cena is overpowered early on by Khali. Cena battles back after using a chair, and gets Khali up for the FU. While on Cena's shoulders, Khali delivers a devastating chop to the head. He then picks up Cena and delivers the two-handed chokeslam for the win. Khali celebrates by rapping one of the tracks from his album.

[thedamndest]

The Berserker

[Jordan]

You suck.

[Theo Dious]

Skinner

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NOT Seymour

[Xero]

Thought you could book anything?

Can't see how you couldn't see firing Hogan, declaring him the champion and then stripping him of said championship.

JABBA FAILS.

[Impact!]

Kevin Thorn (Congrats on 5000 btw :y: )

[SammyG]

lmao @ the Khali booking. Gold

[FourFifty]

Tovo

[What Would Kevin Do?]

Hey, what about me?

[tucsonspeed6]

I don't care for your Zach Gowen book. It didn't involve his mom in any way. I think wrestling hasn't been the same since we stopped seeing Zach Gowen's mom.

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

Anyone I've missed out so far, I'm just doing them in the order I come up with ideas.

[DAMN iNATOR]

Sabu.

[Jeritron]

Dennis Stamp

[The Ravishing One]

Len Wagner

[Goulet]

Irwin R Schyster

[Theo Dious]

Fifi.