Official Raw Thread (7-2-07): DA SAMOAN BULLDOZER VS. DA ITALIAN

[KingofOldSchool]

Raw returns to its regular time of 9/8 CT on USA Network as the flagship emanates from the American Airlines Center in Dallas.

Big news from the desk of Executive Assistant Jonathan Coachman: He has scheduled a Vengeance: Night of Champions rematch for Raw, as Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella will again face the Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga.

Their match at Vengeance was stopped by the referee, as Umaga brutalized the Milan Miracle and was disqualified for ignoring the referee's five-count. The beating continued post-match, as the super-heavyweight crushed the ribs of the champion with a splash from the top rope.

Will Marella manage to rebound and keep the miracle alive Monday night, or will Umaga once again wear Intercontinental gold? Tune in at 9/8 CT on USA Network to find out.

[FourFifty]

I wanna see The Messiah on Raw tonight.
That's all I'm saying in this thread.

[Xero]

This will be a Spicy Meat-A-Ball of a RAW!

[KingofOldSchool]

Yo ah Santino where's ah mah ah pizz-a pie?!

[Xero]

His name actually sounds like a sauce... Or maybe a cheese.

He needs to team up with someone named Ravioli. And put out a shitty line of WWE-themed pastas. Spaghetti-Ortons, Beefaroonis, etc.

[KingofOldSchool]

His name actually sounds like a sauce... Or maybe a cheese.

He needs to team up with someone named Ravioli. And put out a shitty line of WWE-themed pastas. Spaghetti-Ortons, Beefaroonis, etc.

http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/no-holds-barred/pastamania.jpg

[Xero]

YOU KNOW BROTHER, PASTAMANIA IS GOING TO RUN WILD ON YOU WHEN THE 24CM WORMS COME LOOKING FOR YOU, DUDE!

[Innovator]

WHERES MY PIZZA? UMAGA ATE IT

[Xero]

AND HE 'ATE YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO! AND HE 'ATE THE MESS HE LEFT ON THE CARPET!

[KingofOldSchool]

Nunzio and Santino should reform the F.B.I.

[Innovator]

But seriously, which lucky superstar will be fed to the great white hype this week?

[Innovator]

Nunzio and Santino should reform the F.B.I.You bring back Big Salbowski and thats money

[KingofOldSchool]

But seriously, which lucky superstar will be fed to the great white hype this week?

Are you talking about John Cena or Bobby Lashley?

[KingofOldSchool]

:shifty:

[Innovator]

just to get everyone amped for RAW:

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_uxGp-oJAGI"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_uxGp-oJAGI" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

BADSTREET USA BABY!

[Innovator]

Are you talking about John Cena or Bobby Lashley?I thought Cena was the black one?

[KingofOldSchool]

just to get everyone amped for RAW:

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_uxGp-oJAGI"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_uxGp-oJAGI" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

BADSTREET USA BABY!

I'd mark the fuck out if the music hit and out cam Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin to take on Cade and Murdoch.

[KingofOldSchool]

I thought Cena was the black one?

No, that's Khali.

I mean the language Khali speaks is the closest thing to ebonics this side of Ahmed Johnson.

[Corndad]

Evenin fellas. Hope this show gets everything back on track tonight.

[FourFifty]

VINCE IS STILL DEAD TO ME DAMNIT!!!

....:shifty:

[Corndad]

Kennedy wrestling?

[KingofOldSchool]

Whoopie.

Piss break.

[KingofOldSchool]

Oh look it's the Sign Guy Faggot in the front row.

[apokalypse7]

KENNEDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11


BITCHES














KENNEDY!!!!!

[apokalypse7]

guys kennedy just wasn't ready!!!

[KingofOldSchool]

Yay I can kill two piss breaks in one sitting.

[Corndad]

Can you get any whiter then these two lol

[owenbrown]

Great..... Kennedy's gonna job to Cena. :nono: And WHY hasn't Cena been stripped of the title yet?

[KingofOldSchool]

:wtf:

[Ninti the Mad]

cameltoe? lame

[Linkbowler]

Mr. Camel Toe.

Wow. That really sucked.

[thecc]

I wanna see The Messiah on Raw tonight.
That's all I'm saying in this thread.Wait, are you talking about the same messiah who's wrestled for czw and xpw?

[KingofOldSchool]

Mister Rogers would've been funnier than Mr. Cameltoe.

[owenbrown]

God, I cannot wait for Triple H to come back and take the title from Cena.

[Ninti the Mad]

crappypants??????? jesus

[Corndad]

I did like the Mr Kenny G lol

[Linkbowler]

ALL HAIL KING BOOKER!

[owenbrown]

Can John Cena be any more retarded?!

[KingofOldSchool]

YAY!

Now someone with actual TALENT

ALL HAIL KING BOOK-AH!

[Ninti the Mad]

BOOKER

finally someone to save this segment

[Amaroqwolf]

Hmmm, I woke up from my after work nap, and argued with my Mom for this?

[KingofOldSchool]

Kick both of their asses, Booker.

[Ninti the Mad]

ROFL

2 zero zero 7

I love Booker

[Amaroqwolf]

(Stares blankly) Isn't this how RAW started before Vengence?

[KingofOldSchool]

New tattoos for Orton?

[KingofOldSchool]

(Stares blankly) Isn't this how RAW started before Vengence?

No, because it didn't have Kennedy so that made it better.

[RVDmark]

Can John Cena be any more retarded?!
Wait till you see him wrestle. :roll:

[Amaroqwolf]

Battle Royal for the #1 contendership anybody?

[owenbrown]

Oh great, here comes the roided up unfunny version of Wayne Brady. :roll:

[Amaroqwolf]

And Kennedy has yet to do anything to impress me, shooting your mouth dosn't impress I wanna see some cold hard wrestling.

[KingofOldSchool]

YEAH TELL EM BOOK!

[Corndad]

damn. get that mic away from him lol

[KingofOldSchool]

REGAL

[Amaroqwolf]

REGAL REGAL REGAL REGAL!~!!

[Corndad]

Regal!!!

[owenbrown]

Regal?! wtf?

[KingofOldSchool]

WOOOOO

COMMISSIONER REGAL

[Tb1]

REGAL!

[Amaroqwolf]

(Giggles)

[RVDmark]

calling it now someone goes through the contract signing table

[Amaroqwolf]

Timed battle royal type thingy.....fascinating.

[RVDmark]

Also kinda disappointed, when Regal's music hit I thought he was going to get involved in the ring. :'(

[owenbrown]

****SPOILERS**** Highlight to read....





CENA STILL WINS!!!









:shifty:

[Jura]

I hope Regal will be "running" Raw for longer than just tonight.

[Amaroqwolf]

Yeah, your probably right there....

[Amaroqwolf]

Regal running RAW sounds sweet as hell.

[Tb1]

Regal should take the spot, and face Cena at GAB...




And kill him.

[Amaroqwolf]

Excuse me I need to mark out right now!

[KingofOldSchool]

Yay kill Jeff!

[Tb1]

Well Orton's fucked.

[RVDmark]

Hey Lillian is back, is this her first Raw back?

[Amaroqwolf]

:love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :drool: :drool: :drool:


(looks innocent) I;m a Hardy Mark...can't help it LOL

[RVDmark]

I'm calling 11 restholds this match

[Linkbowler]

I don't think rest holds are advantageous in BTC matches.

[Amaroqwolf]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee GO JEFF!!!

[Innovator]

Orton it's beat the clock, stop with the restholds

[KingofOldSchool]

$5 says Kennedy gets Super Crazy, Lashley gets Snitsky, and King Booker gets The Sandman

[Innovator]

ahahaha JR and King calling Orton an idiot for doing a bearhug

[Innovator]

Lashley will win

[Tb1]

Get ready for Lashley vs. Cena @ GAB.

[Innovator]

I have an idea how to get the girls to root against Cena...put him in there against Jeff. That or all the kids' and girls' heads will implode from the confusion.

[Amaroqwolf]

(gets ready) (Falls asleep)

[BigDaddyCool]

Haha, Commisioner Regal is back!

[BigDaddyCool]

It is funny. My girl friend hates the way JR talks.

[Linkbowler]

Orton in at 7:06.

Not gonna do it.

[IC Champion]

OMGZ Lashley on the mic.

[Loose Cannon]

LOL @ Booker

"Wha the hell is beat the clock?"

[Tb1]

What a great time for Orton.

[Amaroqwolf]

No not gonna do it and if you put Jeff Hardy against Cena...I'd buy that PPV....

I am a Girl, and a Hardy Mark...(Grins)

[IC Champion]

Regal is the man.

[BigDaddyCool]

Orton looks so gay, and in the bad way.

[IC Champion]

Orton is gay.

[IC Champion]

Also WWE should have a Starcade, I mean they own the rights to the name don't they?

[Tb1]

Also WWE should have a Starcade

:y:

[6to1]

ROFL

2 zero zero 7

I love Booker
thats king booker

[Tb1]

Candice is the Women's Champion?

[Volchok]

wtf did Melina just do?

[Corndad]

Does Candine look different tonight or is it just me?

[Amaroqwolf]

**Falls asleep**

[Tb1]

Indeed she does.

[KingofOldSchool]

Does Candine look different tonight or is it just me?

She's looked like that since she came back.

I keep on getting her confused with Maria.

[Tb1]

BTW, great commentary by Candice in this match.

[owenbrown]

wtf?:wtf:

[owenbrown]

That sounded like the theme from "The X-Files" there at the beginning of that Triple H video :lol:




BTW, PLEASE COME BACK TRIPLE H!!!

[KingofOldSchool]

CODY RHODES

[Volchok]

I miss Triple H.

[owenbrown]

Who's Duggan gonna job to tonight?

[KingofOldSchool]

Did Orton just say "Fathered in my father's footsteps?"

[Volchok]

Lol didn't say Killer.

[KingofOldSchool]

So Santino's been champ for almost 3 months now? :eek:

[ClockShot]

Good evening, gentlemen.

[owenbrown]

Looks pretty obvious Umaga is gonna regain the title tonight.

[KingofOldSchool]

Looks pretty obvious Umaga is gonna regain the title tonight.

Nah, I see Regal taking the title from him.

[Innovator]

Maybe a Jackass guy costs Umaga the match?

Nah too early, WWE can't book 2 months in advance

[owenbrown]

HEY MORONS AIRING THE TRANSFORMERS SPOTS!! THE MOVIE PREMIERES ON THE 4TH! TOMORROW IS THE 3RD! :foc: :nono:

[ClockShot]

Uh. Owen. They bumped it up a day.

[owenbrown]

Nah, I see Regal taking the title from him.

I'd love for Regal to hold singles gold again. :D

[KingofOldSchool]

HEY MORONS AIRING THE TRANSFORMERS SPOTS!! THE MOVIE PREMIERES ON THE 4TH! TOMORROW IS THE 3RD! :foc: :nono:

Actually, it does debut tomorrow.

[KingofOldSchool]

Maybe a Jackass guy costs Umaga the match?

Nah too early, WWE can't book 2 months in advance

I was thinking the exact same thing.

[Innovator]

If Umaga starts giving promos, he'd be the most over guy on the roster

[Linkbowler]

Raw's not sponsored by Skittles anymore.

Fruity Fruity Fruity.

[Amaroqwolf]

(snorts and wakes up) What I miss?

[Innovator]

I think the only way the IC title can get back to credibilty would be for a title for title match

[KingofOldSchool]

If Umaga starts giving promos, he'd be the most over guy on the roster

AAARRGGH SAMOA POTATOS!1!1 BWAAARRRGH CABBAGE CENA FACE!11! AAAARRGGHH SAMOAN SPIKE!11!1 RAAAWWWR KILLLLLL!!!

[Corndad]

This reminds me of the Thunderlips Rocky Fight in Rocky III...


"COME HERE MEATBALL!"

[Innovator]

Delirious vs. Umaga, promo war

[owenbrown]

Uh. Owen. They bumped it up a day.

Well, they need to make up their minds. Movie premieres here in the U.S. are usually on a Wednesday or Friday. Not on Tuesday.

[KingofOldSchool]

This reminds me of the Thunderlips Rocky Fight in Rocky III...


"COME HERE MEATBALL!"


Heeeyyy there Meathead!

Oh wait, that's Archie Bunker.

[Innovator]

Sick Samoan Drop

[RVDmark]

so is Vince still "dead" or what?

[KingofOldSchool]

YAY!

[Innovator]

wow Santino got buried, HARD

[KingofOldSchool]

Back to Louisville for Mr. Marella.

[Innovator]

Santino, don't forget to turn the lights out when you leave

[owenbrown]

I missed it. Did Marella show any offense whatsoever?

[Innovator]

oh yeah, good luck in your future endeavors

[Loose Cannon]

Thank You god. I hated that guy. He was top 3 worst IC Champions ever.

[KingofOldSchool]

Back to Louisville for Mr. Marella.

Get there in 30 minutes or less or your first title match is free.

[KingofOldSchool]

Wouldn't it be funny if Umaga sent Marella back to OVW via SlowEx ala DX and the Spirit Squad?

[RVDmark]

So Santino's been champ for almost 3 months now? :eek:
At last, the writers being lazy finally had a positive effect on someone's career.

[RVDmark]

When Umaga was holding the title after winning I trhought he was going to start biting chunks out of the strap.

[Corndad]

i'm actually looking forward to that Nitro/Punk fued

[RVDmark]

Lol @ King frightening JR with the thumb.

[RVDmark]

i'm actually looking forward to that Nitro/Punk fued
Benoit v CM Punk woulkd have been better. :'(

Yes I know he's a c**t for killing his wife and son.

[RP]

Booker T is amazing as this charachter. I really hope he gets a title run.

[Corndad]

Val lol

[Tb1]

HELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO LADDDDIIIEEEESSSSSSSSSSS

[KingofOldSchool]

ROFL VAL VENIS

[ClockShot]

HA HA HA HA!

[KingofOldSchool]

Booker wins in 2:50

[Amaroqwolf]

O_O

[Linkbowler]

Alienoid to the red courtesy phone, Alienoid, red phone.

[RVDmark]

Wow Val Venis on Raw. I love the way they're completely ignoring the possibility of any of these matches ending with the guy not going for the title winning.

[KingofOldSchool]

HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLOOOOOOOOO JOBBER!

[owenbrown]

Val Venis on RAW? :eek:

[Reavant]

VVVVVVVAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL

[KingofOldSchool]

King Booker is just toying with Val

[RVDmark]

O_O
What is that meant to be? The worlds shortest penis?

[owenbrown]

Way to make a cheap 4:20 reference, Lawler.

[KingofOldSchool]

VAL IS ON OFFENSE!!!

[Nikkolas]

Sandman made an appearance yet?

[NeanderCarl]

Boy, has Raw been boring. They could have kept this McMahon Whodunnit going, just dropped the "death" aspect of it. Who blew him up, rather than who killed him...

I know it's a bit touchy but it's the best thing they've had going recently, and now it's over and we're back to boredom.

[KingofOldSchool]

I REPEAT, VAL FUCKING VENIS IS ON OFFENSE!

[Amaroqwolf]

This RAW is barley holding my interest...I am sad.

vINCE IS STILL DEAD TO ME DAMNIT!!!!

[RVDmark]

King Booker is just toying with Val
Given this is a time challenge that is pretty stupid surely.

[KingofOldSchool]

Well, Val, see you next job.

[owenbrown]

Stop giving Sharmell a mic.



(2,000th post)

[KingofOldSchool]

SUPER CRAZY IS WEARING A PONCHO!1!1!

[RVDmark]

Boy, has Raw been boring. They could have kept this McMahon Whodunnit going, just dropped the "death" aspect of it. Who blew him up, rather than who killed him...

I know it's a bit touchy but it's the best thing they've had going recently, and now it's over and we're back to boredom.
This whole Chris/Nancy/Daniel angle is a work. When he comes back he's gonna have HEAT. :shifty:

[311]

Sandman comes out and knocks himself out with a beer can to give a quick win?

25-1 odds.

[ClockShot]

Ah bummer. And I thought Val was gonna give Booker a run for his money.

Kennedy vs. Super Crazy.....

[owenbrown]

This will be a huge backfire. :nono:

[Corndad]

Well that tells me Kennedy aint beatin Bookers time lol

[KingofOldSchool]

Did I call Kennedy vs. Super Crazy or was it Booker vs. Super Crazy?

[Amaroqwolf]

How is that....GO SUPER CRAZY!!

Kennedy still hasn't impressedme!!

[KingofOldSchool]

I'd ROFL if Crazy beats Kennedy.

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Crazy won't understand what Kennedy is saying. Then he'll finally lay down after about a minute

Then Lashley will win in 15 seconds or something :|</font>

[Amaroqwolf]

(Yawns and waits to see) This is his ONE chance to Impress me, after this all bets are off.

[KingofOldSchool]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

[KingofOldSchool]

ROFL

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

[Amaroqwolf]

Bwahahahahaahahahahahahah!!! *falls down from laughing so hard* UNIMPRESSED!!!

[KingofOldSchool]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA

[Volchok]

Is Kennedy still hurt?

[ClockShot]

What the fuck just happened?

[Corndad]

Looks like Kennedy isnt ready to wrestle yet. Was suprised they even teased it lol

[KingofOldSchool]

MIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR

CRRRRRRAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYY

[owenbrown]

WTF?!
DOES THIS MEAN SUPER CRAZY HAS THE TIME TO BEAT?!

[KingofOldSchool]

....CRRRAAZZZYYY

[RP]

And now i just turned the channel. They almost kept me watching this time until that load of shit.

[Linkbowler]

So does Super Crazy have the time to beat now?

[ClockShot]

HOLY SHIT! TED DIBIASE IS ON FOX NEWS!

[Amaroqwolf]

Kennedy sucks! Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!

[KingofOldSchool]

WTF?!
DOES THIS MEAN SUPER CRAZY HAS THE TIME TO BEAT?!

Super Crazy for WWE Champion.

Of course the Spinner Belt centerpiece will be a sombreo or a jalepeno.

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Has Kennedy even been medically cleared to wrestle? That might explain it.

Anyways, WOOOOO Super Crazy has the time to beat.</font> :shifty:

[RP]

If Crazy doesnt have the time to beat now, this is a joke. This whole thing. The whole " you have to beat this person in such and such time " is dumb. Its not a given that they'll beat those opponents. Yah i know its scripted but if you're basically announcing that Jeff Hardy is jobber and the opponents dont stand a chance, then why in the holy fuck would i wanna watch your fucking product. Learn to fucking put together a show for fuck sakes.

[Amaroqwolf]

Supah....>CRAZY!!

[owenbrown]

Super Crazy for WWE Champion.

Of course the Spinner Belt centerpiece will be a sombreo or a jalepeno.

Probably the Mexican flag. :shifty:

[Amaroqwolf]

He's just pissed cause Kennedy got his ass handed to him by Super Crazy.

[owenbrown]

That's not right.... It should be Super Crazy to beat with only 40 seconds.

[NeanderCarl]

If Crazy doesnt have the time to beat now, this is a joke. This whole thing. The whole " you have to beat this person in such and such time " is dumb. Its not a given that they'll beat those opponents. Yah i know its scripted but if you're basically announcing that Jeff Hardy is jobber and the opponents dont stand a chance, then why in the holy fuck would i wanna watch your fucking product. Learn to fucking put together a show for fuck sakes.

.... and... breathe.

[Amaroqwolf]

ROFLMAO!!

[KingofOldSchool]

Shelton's gay for our King.

[Xerzes]

Mmm, chocolate chip contract.

[KingofOldSchool]

Orton vs. Dusty Rhodes at GAB

[Loose Cannon]

dam, Dusty looks rough

[Linkbowler]

Orton vs. Dusty next week?

GO DWEEM!

[Corndad]

Sandman promo lol

[KingofOldSchool]

ROFL

[311]

Dusty Rhodes is the goddamn shit.

[Linkbowler]

DAMN

[KingofOldSchool]

The Sandman transformed into Ron Simmons, it's a secret shill for the Transformers movie.

[Amaroqwolf]

(giggles and bounces around like a Kangaroo on Crack)

[owenbrown]

Can I have my 2 hours back with this RAW sucking so bad tonight?

[Nark Order]

Sandman beer spit of doom.

[Nark Order]

btw, I was hoping that Regal would make more than one 2 minute appearance considering he's the GM for the night. Guess not :(

[owenbrown]

RAW house show coming to Evansville, Indiana on August 17th. :roll:

[RP]

" hey how bout this, lets take probably are best talent in the business right now and put him in a match with a fat 60 year old waste of space. Have him completely destroy him for no real reason and totally waste 2 weeks of build up time to our next ppv . "


" That'll work "

[Nark Order]

Oh, and has Cody Rhodes trained as a wrestler? Just wondering.

[ClockShot]

LOL!

"Embarrassed Carlito Fan" sign.

[KingofOldSchool]

RAW house show coming to Evansville, Indiana on August 17th. :roll:

You from Indiana?

[What Would Kevin Do?]

You know, I think this show would be better if I was mildly retarded.

[Corndad]

They should have Sandman's entrance on beat the clock lol

[Tb1]

btw, I was hoping that Regal would make more than one 2 minute appearance considering he's the GM for the night. Guess not :(

Fireworks booth?

[Nark Order]

I like Sandman on Raw because it makes sense.

Wait.. no it doesn't. Nevermind.

[Nark Order]

Fireworks booth?

Just got home, MOM! It was boring as crap so I got out of it early.

[Amaroqwolf]

Blagh

[Innovator]

Oh, and has Cody Rhodes trained as a wrestler? Just wondering.He's money down in OVW

[owenbrown]

You from Indiana?

No but I live about 20 minutes from Evansville on the other side of the Ohio River in Kentucky.

[What Would Kevin Do?]

Nothing says main event like a squash.

[Loose Cannon]

every time I see Lashley, I think that's the Brahma Bull on the back of his tights.

[What Would Kevin Do?]

BTW, I'd rather watch a Super Crazy/Cena feud.

[What Would Kevin Do?]

Or grass grow.

[What Would Kevin Do?]

Pretty sure I would have been better off watching porn.

[Nark Order]

every time I see Lashley, I think he's a bull.

[KingofOldSchool]

LOL WTF?

"Lashley SGT. BAD ASS"

:wtf: :rofl:

[What Would Kevin Do?]

Shelton would have been a better ECW champ. Just sayin.

[KingofOldSchool]

It would've been smarter if Benjamin went back in the ring for half a second to break up the count before moving back out.

[Amaroqwolf]

Blagh,

[owenbrown]

I wonder who edited Wikipedia's WWE page to include Cody Rhodes on RAW when he isn't on any active roster.

[KingofOldSchool]

Nice.

[Corndad]

NICE DDT!!

[Nark Order]

HUGE

[Amaroqwolf]

Nice Move by Benajamin.

[KingofOldSchool]

I wonder who edited Wikipedia's WWE page to include Cody Rhodes on RAW when he isn't on any active roster.

Well I guess the person assume that Cody is officially on the main roster now. Which won't surprise me since he has been working the house shows lately.

[Nark Order]

I wonder who edited Wikipedia's WWE page to include the death of Cody Rhodes wife.

[Corndad]

That was actually nice too.

[KingofOldSchool]

NICE

[What Would Kevin Do?]

Vinnie Mac just blew his load.

[Volchok]

yay

[owenbrown]

Super Crazy would probably make a MUCH better champ than Cena.