This forum needs more Warrior styled promos.

[BigDaddyCool]

TPWW, I HAVE LOOKED INTO THE EYES OF THE GALAXY AND I HAVE SEEN! TOGETHER WE WILL DO BATTLE IN THE PLACE OF OUR FOREFATHERS UNTIL WE ARE TORN ASUNDER! WE WILL STEP THROUGH THE AGES AND BE KNOWN BY THE MASTERS OF OLD!

*grunt*

P.S.
Read that aloud, and I do me loud. Try to spit and foam at the mouth while doing it for best effect.

[Nark Order]

LISTEN HERE, THE BIG COOL DADDY OF THE DARKLY SHADED TIDAL WAVES OF GRIM CONSEQUENCES. I AM THE OWNER OF MOUNTAIN TOPS, FROM THE PEAKS OF THE SLIGHTLY BLUE FORMATIONS THAT MAKE MOUNT NIGHTMARION TO THE PLUNDERING DOOMTOPS OF THE GRIEF-STRICKEN ROCKS OF THE BLOODILAYIAN MOUNTAINS. HOW DARE YOU STEP ON THE TURF THAT MY MINIONS OF SNOT-BATHING DEPAIR PAVED WITH THEIR OWN BLOODY GREEN HANDS!! IF YOU WANDER ANY FURTHER, NOT ONLY WILL THE TREE OF FORGOTTEN TRUTH SPEAR YOU UNTIL MUCUS OF THE DAMNED FLOWS FROM YOUR EYE SOCKETS, BUT YOU WILL ONCEEE....AND...FOR...ALLL......SEE THE WRATH OF THE WARRIOR!!!!!

*grunt*

[Nark Order]

Oh, and don't smoke!!

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[BigDaddyCool]

STEP INTO THE LIGHT, Narcissus. OPEN YOUR EYES TO THE WORLD OF TRUTH, Narcissus. BREATH IN THE PREFUMED AIR OF REASON AND DOUBT, Narcissus. ONLY THEN WILL YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS TO OF THE IMMORTALS, Narcissus.

*snarl*

[94 SVT Cobra]

YOU SIT THERE AND YOU QUESTION THE WAYS OF THE MANAGOSH GODS POWER THAT FLOWS THROUGH ME LIKE THE NEVER ENDING SEAS. FOR WHEN YOU HAVE STEPPED ON THE FOOT OF THE WRONG ELDER GOD YOU WILL FORCE HIM AND HIS LEGIONS TO BEGIN THE RITUAL THAT WILL SUMMON THE POWER FROM WITHIN ME AND BRING THEM OUT TO UNLEASH A FURY YOU NOR ANY MORTAL ON THIS PLANE OF EXSISTENCE KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT. I WILL SEARCH FOR YOU FROM ABOVE AND WHEN I FIND YOU I SHALL PART THE HEAVENS THEM SELFS AND BRING ALL THE FURY OF THE ELDERS GODS UPON YOU AND NOTHING WILL SAVE YOU, NOT EVEN A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL HIMSELF.

[94 SVT Cobra]

you think warrior EVER wrote down any of his stuff lol? seems all improv most of the time.

[Goulet]

ARRRRRRGH!!!! THE WARRIOR HAS COME TO TPWW TO ATTACK AND KEEP COMING, BECAUSE THE FAMILY THAT I LIVE FOR ONLY BREATES THE SMELL OF COMBAT, COME WITH ME TPWW DIG YOUR ANCHORS INTO MY BONES, LIE DOWN WITH ME IN THE DESERT AND LET YOURSELVES BE TRAMPLED BY RAGING ELEPHANTS! AND THEN YOU WILL SOON BE CLOSE TO PARTS UKNOWN! AAAAARGHHH! *snort*

[owenbrown]

:rofl: @ this thread.

[BigDaddyCool]

you think warrior EVER wrote down any of his stuff lol? seems all improv most of the time.

THE LORDS OF THE ANCIENTS ASK NOT FOR A PAGE OR SCRIBE! THEY NEED NOT THE SCRATCH OF MAN TO CALL FORTH THEIR COMMANDMENT AND GIVE THOSE TO MORTALS FROM VAST PLAINS. NOR DID THEIR MESSENGER NEED THE PAMPLETS OF THE COMMON TO GIVE FORTH THE WORD! IF HE DID HE WOULD NOT BE WORTHY OF THE POWER! *snarl*

So, basically no. He just ad-libed that shit.

[FourFifty]

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're not here to indulge in fantasy, but in political and economic reality.” Michael Douglas, Wall Street, 1987

Now let’s face it. While it’s fun and whimsical to play make believe that we’re all simplistic savages. Is it just too hard to look in the mirror and accept yourself for who you really are? Are we really that shallow that we cannot face reality?
Well I am not, and nor will be a sheep led to the slaughter house we call conformity! For you see if we all do the same and we all act the same all we get is more and more and more of what we’ve been complaining about. The Same. While anyone can savagely grunt and spit it takes a real man to swallow. And where anyone can take what they want from the cornucopia of unorganized otherworldly rants it takes a real man to get in touch with himself.
So all of you, pay homage to someone who isn’t a real man, and get lost in the shuffle. While all of you are being forgotten everyone will remember, and NEVER forget the name of…..
*inhales deeply* FourffffffFiftyyyyyyy *schomp!*

[BigDaddyCool]

MUSTACHE MAN (Goulet)!!!!! YOU HAVE ENTERED INTO WHAT YOU DO NOT KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I AM HERE ONLY TO TAKE AND NOT TO GIVE! ONLY TO FIGHT AND NOT BACKDOWN FOR THE POWERS OF THE DESTRUCISITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! QUEERING DOESN'T MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUNDS. *snarl, spit*

[BigDaddyCool]

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're not here to indulge in fantasy, but in political and economic reality.” Michael Douglas, Wall Street, 1987

Now let’s face it. While it’s fun and whimsical to play make believe that we’re all simplistic savages. Is it just too hard to look in the mirror and accept yourself for who you really are? Are we really that shallow that we cannot face reality?
Well I am not, and nor will be a sheep led to the slaughter house we call conformity! For you see if we all do the same and we all act the same all we get is more and more and more of what we’ve been complaining about. The Same. While anyone can savagely grunt and spit it takes a real man to swallow. And where anyone can take what they want from the cornucopia of unorganized otherworldly rants it takes a real man to get in touch with himself.
So all of you, pay homage to someone who isn’t a real man, and get lost in the shuffle. While all of you are being forgotten everyone will remember, and NEVER forget the name of…..
*inhales deeply* FourffffffFiftyyyyyyy *schomp!*

FOUR HUNDERED FITY THIS IS THE LAND WERE THE GODS DEAR NOT THREAD FOR THEIR IS NO GOLD TO ADORN THEIR ROYAL BODIES! THE MUST MAKE OTHER REALMS FOR AS THEIR PLAY PLACE! *cough, grunt*

In real talk, get out of here with your Golddust shit, this is the Warrior thread. Only Warriors and maybe Macho Man style promos.

[owenbrown]

And to think I used to mark out to this guy....

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[BigDaddyCool]

And to think I used to mark out to this guy....

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What, I would pay upwards of $30 to see him make a return on ppv to TNA and take out Kurt Angle, shake the ropes and give one of those promos.

[Nark Order]

What, I would pay upwards of $30 to see him make a return on ppv to TNA and take out Kurt Angle, shake the ropes and give one of those promos.

Come to thing of it... Batista would actually be the Warrior if he ran more.

[Xero]

Warriorites of TPWW... The TIME IS UPON us... You must DIG DOWN DEEP and FEEL THE POWER... of the WARRIOR. You must FEEL the warrior inside EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU! You must not fret, for when THE WARRIOR is PLOWING YOU DOWN and BEATING YOU, you must BELIEVE, the GODS ABOVE, and the GODS BELOW will NOT LET YOU DOWN. The Warrior will show you, just like when Moses parted the Red Sea, and CONTRARY to Shakespear, parting will not be sweet sorrow, it will be SWEET RELEASE. Sweet release from the land of the free and the home of the brave. THE GODS HAVE GIVEN THE WARRIOR THE POWER. AND THE WARRIOR... WILL BE FOREVER PARTING.

[FourFifty]

In real talk, get out of here with your Golddust shit, this is the Warrior thread. Only Warriors and maybe Macho Man style promos.

So yer tellin' me to get outta here?
WHAT!?!?
Yer tellin' me to leave?
WHAT!?!?
Yer sayin' I'm not welcome here?
WHAT!?!?
Well you know what I think about that?
WHAT!?!?!
I'll tell you what I think about that!
WHAT?!?!?
Well it seems to me that with all this trash talkin' and all this Warrior lovin' there's not enough beer drinkin' and ass kickin'!
WHAT!?!?!
You see this nine and a half wide boot right here will fit in any ass I force it into! This nine and a half wide boot will stomp a mudhole in anyone's ass and walk it dry! Stone Cold Four Fifty isn't just gunna sit on the sidelines and drink beer!
WHAT?!?!?
Well I will drink beer, but that's a'nuther story.
WHAT!?!?
I'm gonna drink a beer!
WHAT!?!?
Then a'nuther beer!
WHAT!?!?!
And a'nuther beer!
WHAT!?!?!
And then I'm gunna have a glass of water!
WHAT!?!?!
H20
WHAT!?!?!
Agua!
WHAT!?!?!
And after all of that I'm gonna take a piss!
WHAT!?!?!
I'm gunna piss on this here thread!
WHAT!?!?!
I'm gunna piss on TPWW.net!
WHAT!?!?!
Then I'm gunna piss on video games fourm after I'm done writin' my review for the new SmackDown vs Raw game for the cell phone!
WHAT!?!?!
And if there's any piss left I'm gunna piss in the bathroom!
WHAT!!??
I'm gunna shake it once.
WHAT!?!?
Shake it twice.
WHAT!?!?!
And I'm gunna stop right there because after twice it's playin' with yerself.
WHAT!?!?!
And then I'm gunna flush that sumbitch down like every piece of crap should go down, AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE, 'CUZ FOUR FIFTY SAID SO!!!!!
WHAT!?!?!?
.....I hate that "what" thing....
WHAT!?!?!?

[BigDaddyCool]

FOUR HUNDERED FIFTY YOU HAVE DEFILED THE SANCTUM OF THE ETERNAL! THE GODS FROM BELOW AND THE GODS FROM ABOVE HAVE GIVEN ME A QUEST TO DEFY THE ELDERS AND SET THE SOULS OF MAN ABLAZE. YOU AND I SHALL JOURNY TO THE SERPENT KING AND DRINK HIS VENOM TILL THEIR IS NO MORE POTION IN THE KINGDOM OF THE MASTERS! THEN WE WILL KNOW THE TRUTHS OF THE COSMOS AND THE GODS AND THE FIRE! FOR YOU CAN NOT KNOW THE INNER WORKS OF THE THOUGHTS OF MY MIND IN YOUR OWN IMAGINATION! *snarl, no sell*


...Wait, what?

[BigDaddyCool]

Also, I didn't read a word of what you wrote really.

[FourFifty]

Also, I didn't read a word of what you wrote really.

Wasn't there a rule for the IWC that said you don't have to read someone's post to not like it? Yea, I think I wrote that one.
On a side note I wamt to respond with a Morrison style promo, but I really can't think right now. That Austin one killed a few brain cells.

[BigDaddyCool]

I never said I didn't like it. I just really didn't read it. I could tell where you were going with it so I promoed back.

[KYR]

Wasn't there a rule for the IWC that said you don't have to read someone's post to not like it? Yea, I think I wrote that one.
On a side note I wamt to respond with a Morrison style promo, but I really can't think right now. That Austin one killed a few brain cells.

"...and that even you, Stephanie McMahon Helmsley, a Two Dollar, NO, Fifty Cent, NO, I'LL TAKE ALL THE QUARTERS, NICKELS, DIMES AND PENNIES, PUT 'EM ALL IN A BAG AND STICK 'EM STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY-ASS SLUT!"

[Jeritron]

Well you see Michael Cole, the fact of the matter is this....


oh wait thats HHH














ON THE EVE OF MY MOTHERS LAST MENSTRUATION, I SUMMON FROM THE HEAVENS ABOVE THE POWER TO SAUNTER MY COCK

TANGLED IN THE CLUTCHES OF A BOWFLEX AND TAKE THE LIFE FROM MY OWN KIN BEFORE A CASE OF THE MONDAYS

oh wait that's Chris Benoit's last promo....




*SNARL* YOU TRANNY SLUT! I BRING SELF INTO THE KITCHEN AND MAKE THE MOST APPOCALYPTIC OF SANDWICHES. SING THE POWERS OF THE MUSTARD! I DECLARE THAT FATES STEAM ROLLING LOCOMOTIVE HAS CRASHED INTO MY OWN COCK AND IMPACTED ITSELF INTO THE NOTHINGNESS OF EVERYTHING. FEEL IT. LOVE IT. THE MONEYS ON THE DRESSER. I WILL HAVE MY ETERNAL JUDGEMENT IN THE CARNAGE STREWN SEWAGE FILLED AIRS OF THE REALM THAT ALL THINGS GO AFTER BEING SLAIN BY THE WARRIOR....C SPAN

[KYR]

Well you see Michael Cole, the fact of the matter is this....


oh wait thats HHH














ON THE EVE OF MY MOTHERS LAST MENSTRUATION, I SUMMON FROM THE HEAVENS ABOVE THE POWER TO SAUNTER MY COCK

:rofl: That is GOLD!

[PorkSoda]

WHEN I WAS SPEAKING TO THE GODS FROM THE HEAVENS ABOVE, AS THEY SPOKE TO ME AND HIT ME WITH A PASH OF FINAL EXISTANCE, I KNEW THAT MY TURMOIL WAS NO LONGER ABOMISHED INTO MY SOUL! FOR I AM NOW A TPWW'ER AND I SHALL VOTE FOR DAVE YOUELL INTO PRIME EXISTANCE OVER A TRAGEDY CAUSING THE EARTH TO SHAKE! AND WHEN I GET BIG ENOUGH AND MY VEINS POP OUT OF MY EYES, I SHALL REIGN SUPREME AND DIG MY OWN FINGERS INTO MY BLOOD SO THE POWER OF THE FORUMS WILL LIVE ON THROUGH EXISTANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[FourFifty]

No I had him!
His throat was there beneath my hand.
I had swear I had him!
His throat was there and now he'll never come again.
When? Why do I wait?
You told me to wait -
Now he'll never come again.
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
But not for long...

They all deserve to die.
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because in all of the whole human race
Mrs Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two
There's the one they put in his proper place
And the one with his foot in the other one's face
Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.

Now we all deserve to die
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us death will be a relief
We all deserve to die.

And I'll never see Joanna
No I'll never hold my girl to me - finished!
Alright! You sir, you sir, how about a shave?
Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.
You sir, you sir? Welcome to the grave.

I will have vengenance.
I will have salvation.
Who sir, you sir?
No one in the chair, come on! Come on!
Sweeney's waiting. I want you bleeders.
You sir - anybody.
Gentlemen don't be shy!

Not one man, no, no ten men.
Not a hundred can assuage me -
I will have you!
And I will get him back even as he gloats
In the meantime I'll practice on dishonorable throats.
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again.

But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!

[BigDaddyCool]

450, I'm going to punch you in the dick. We are not doing Hidenrich style poetry promos.

[FourFifty]

That was Sweeney Todd... Won a few Tonys.... The movie comes out on Dec 21st..... just trying to whore it out a bit.

[BigDaddyCool]

That was Sweeney Todd... Won a few Tonys.... The movie comes out on Dec 21st..... just trying to whore it out a bit.

Oh, well that is even worse. Where do you live, I need to get travel arrangements. You are getting a dick punch now.

[FourFifty]

29 Palms, CA. Make sure to do it between the hours of 8:00am-5:00pm at Stater Bros Markets, 'k? I'll be the dude wearing the jester style Santa hat in the red arpon cursing life, 'k?

[FourFifty]

Hell, feel free to call ahead of time to see if I'm there. (760) 367-6535. Ask for Daniel, or ask a goddamn stupid question because the fucktards I work with won't know the answer unless it's "are you open?"

[FourFifty]

THE GODS ABOVE DO NOT WANT ME TO SEEK REVENGE, AND SO I BECOME AN ATHEIST!!! THE COSMIC FORCES AROUND ME CAUSE ME TO BE MORE POWERFUL THAN GOD HIMSELF AND HULK HOGAN!!! WHEN YOU TEAR WHAT SHOULD BE INTO BITE SIZED PIECES YOU END UP SHITTING WHAT IS!!!! THE WARRIOR KNOWS THIS BECAUSE THERE SHOULD BE NO NAZIS, GAYS, JEWS, OR CANCER!!! YOU SEE THE POWER OF THE WARRIOR COMES FROM LITTLE PINK PILLS SENT TO ME BY THE GODS ABOVE AND A SHADY GUY IN NEW YORK!!!! AND THE PINK PILLS ALLOW ME TO SEE WHAT IS REAL FOR AMONG THE SHADOWS OF THE FAKE!!!! THE GODS ABOVE HAVE SUMMONED US WHEN THEY CRIED OUT FROM ABOVE AND SAID "WARRIORS, COME OUT AND PLAY!!!!" YOU WILL FEEL THE POWER OF VARIOUS DURGS FLOWING THROUGH YOUR SYSTEM AND YOU WILL FEEL THE POWER OF THE WARRIOR!!!

[Mister Sinister]

THOSES AND THE MANY WARRIORS WHO CAME BEFORE US, INJECTED THE ESSEANCE OF THE WWE INTO OUR VEINS, WE GRUNTED AND SNARLED, LAUGHING THAT THE GODS HAVE ABDANDON US. I WENT TO THE GODS WHO TOLD ME TO WHIP THE ASS OF THE SLACK JAW OPEN MOUTH WORM WHO BROKE NOMAR GARCIAPARRA HOME RUN RECORD. I TAME THE BEAST THRU THE USE OF OF THE SHINING ON DVD, AND ASK HIM, WHY WARRIOR BEFORE ME. WHY HAVE THE GODS FORSAKEN US, AS i SAT ON THE TOILET OF THE WARRIOR BEFORE US, I GRUNTED AND SNARLED, UNTIL i HEARD A MIGHTY PLOP, AND LIKE THE NAMEKIANS ON EARTH, WHO WERE WIPED OUT BY THE GIANT CAN OF FULL THROTTLE THAT RUNS THRU THE VEINS OF ALL THE WARRIORS, I HEARD ANOTHER PLOP,

[BigDaddyCool]

Hell, feel free to call ahead of time to see if I'm there. (760) 367-6535. Ask for Daniel, or ask a goddamn stupid question because the fucktards I work with won't know the answer unless it's "are you open?"

You mind sending me plane tickets and a limo to pick me up. After the dick punch we can go to a dave and busters for some skee ball.

[KYR]

Vince: So, listen Warrior, we’re coming up to contract negotiation time, so let’s have a chat.
Warrior: BY THE MILK OF THE GODDESSES THAT HAVE RAINED DOWN UPON ME, FED ME AND MOLDED ME INTO THE GOD THAT I AM. BY THE POWERS OF THE COSMOS AND THE FORCES OF THE UNIVERSE, I STAND BEFORE YOU AS YOUR SUPREME SAVIOUR.
Vince: Ha ha, yeah that’s great Warrior, but in all seriousness, we’ve got SummerSlam ’91 coming up and I see big things for you. I’m thinking that you team with Hogan and have you feud with Slaughter and Mustafa.
Warrior: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBT THAT THE GODS AND THE SWEAT OF THEIR SPAWN CAN FALL FROM THE HEAVENS TO NOURISH AND EMPOWER THE WARRIOR TO SLAY ALL BEFORE HIM AND ONCE AGAIN…
Vince: Yeah, yeah, good one, but really, I’ve got this contract here for you to sign…
Warrior: THE GODS HAVE SPOKEN TO ME AND APPEARED IN MY VISIONS. THE POWERS THEY HAVE BESTOWED UPON ME REQUIRE SLAKING.
Vince: For God’s sake, can you just speak normally for once!!!
Warrior: I need a one-off payment of $1.2m for SS and the new contract will be for $2m per annum plus expenses plus I maintain all creative control plus I maintain ownership of the name "Ultimate Warrior".
Vince: Ah, OK. Look, I’ve got to dash right now, but we’ll talk again after SummerSlam and finalise all these minor contract matters. Oh, and that ownership of the Warrior name, yeah, I like that, good luck with that hey.
(Vince leaves)
Vince: Yeah, good luck ever using that name outside of here.

[Blue Demon]

WE NEED THE POWER! :shifty:

[FourFifty]

Vince: So, listen Warrior, we’re coming up to contract negotiation time, so let’s have a chat.
Warrior: BY THE MILK OF THE GODDESSES THAT HAVE RAINED DOWN UPON ME, FED ME AND MOLDED ME INTO THE GOD THAT I AM. BY THE POWERS OF THE COSMOS AND THE FORCES OF THE UNIVERSE, I STAND BEFORE YOU AS YOUR SUPREME SAVIOUR.
Vince: Ha ha, yeah that’s great Warrior, but in all seriousness, we’ve got SummerSlam ’91 coming up and I see big things for you. I’m thinking that you team with Hogan and have you feud with Slaughter and Mustafa.
Warrior: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBT THAT THE GODS AND THE SWEAT OF THEIR SPAWN CAN FALL FROM THE HEAVENS TO NOURISH AND EMPOWER THE WARRIOR TO SLAY ALL BEFORE HIM AND ONCE AGAIN…
Vince: Yeah, yeah, good one, but really, I’ve got this contract here for you to sign…
Warrior: THE GODS HAVE SPOKEN TO ME AND APPEARED IN MY VISIONS. THE POWERS THEY HAVE BESTOWED UPON ME REQUIRE SLAKING.
Vince: For God’s sake, can you just speak normally for once!!!
Warrior: I need a one-off payment of $1.2m for SS and the new contract will be for $2m per annum plus expenses plus I maintain all creative control plus I maintain ownership of the name "Ultimate Warrior".
Vince: Ah, OK. Look, I’ve got to dash right now, but we’ll talk again after SummerSlam and finalise all these minor contract matters. Oh, and that ownership of the Warrior name, yeah, I like that, good luck with that hey.
(Vince leaves)
Vince: Yeah, good luck ever using that name outside of here.

1000 Points!!!!:rofl:
God, that was worthy of Scenes From A Hat!

[U-Warrior]

I do say gentlemen, this is all very much uncalled for.

[BigDaddyCool]

I do say gentlemen, this is all very much uncalled for.

I started this because Warrior is the best promo man in the biz-nass.

[FourFifty]

I started this because Warrior is the best promo man in the biz-nass.
WHAT!?!?!

[BigDaddyCool]

No one gives better promos than warrior did.

[BigDaddyCool]

The only person that comes close to Warrior's amazing mic skills is Scott Stiener.

[Jeritron]

The best is when Scott Steiner ripped Flair, buried the entire WCW promotion and told the audience to turn on Raw and watch Stone Cold Steve Austin...and when he came back through the curtain was told "that's the best promo of your career" by management.

[BigDaddyCool]

The best is when Scott Steiner ripped Flair, buried the entire WCW promotion and told the audience to turn on Raw and watch Stone Cold Steve Austin...and when he came back through the curtain was told "that's the best promo of your career" by management.

Stiener and a live mic = awesome.

[Jeritron]

Steiner recliner on Beetlejuice (of Howard Stern) is the biggest markout moment of all time

[BigDaddyCool]

Steiner recliner on Beetlejuice (of Howard Stern) is the biggest markout moment of all time

Why did Steiner put a retarded black midget in a submission hold?

Answer: Because no one can stop Steiner.

[Jeritron]

That is correct, and you maintain control of the question board.

"Because he felt like it" and "Because he was a retarded black midget" would have also been accepted as answers

[BigDaddyCool]

Woooooo. By board do you mean forum? And I'm king, so of course I remain in control.