Alternate WWE Universe

[Xero]

What do you think is going on in Alternate WWE Universe #1 right now?

Clearly, Chris Benoit is WWE champion and feuding with Mr. Funaki, WWE's number one chairman.

[CSL]

I heard Punk's gonna be on RAW next week now his 60 day wellness suspension is up

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>The Undertaker will once again try to convince people to allow the purity of goodness guide them. No idea if the Lord of the Light will do it.</font>

[Xero]

I heard they'll be giving the tag title match a half hour this week.

Gonna be awesome.

[Savio]

Edge became the first White American champion. Also I heard Christian is holding down John Cena again!

[Xero]

Can't wait for Cena's match with Orton. Fucking two year build and they haven't touched each other. Gonna be EPIC.

[Theo Dious]

I understand the Rock is contemplating taking time off after an unprecedented run of uninterrupted action; meanwhile Bret Hart is being primed for a Wrestlemania submission match with some spot monkey named Kirk Angel. Also that guy who used to be in a tag team with Marty Janetty is rumored to be preparing for a return to in-ring action, and the only question is whether he will be making his return to WWE or whether he will be appearing in WCW to try to derail Goldberg's undefeated streak which now stands at 348,983.

[FourFifty]

It's nice that the internet fans don't have anything to bitch about.

[Triple Naitch]

Owen Hart can fly.


There. Somebody had to say it.

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>lol Vince McMahon RickRolled somebody.</font>

[Xero]

Vince Russo needs to come back. He did WCW wonders back in the late 90s to mid-2000s.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Everyone can see John Cena quite easily.

[GD]

Bret screwed Vince, Shawn and Hunter.

[Xero]

All these sexy, diverse, non-generic Female Wrestlers are awesome. One of the highlights of the show, easily.

[Theo Dious]

Bret screwed Vince, Shawn and Hunter.

He also has dinner three times a week with Earl Hebner.

[Theo Dious]

All these sexy, diverse, non-generic Female Wrestlers are awesome. One of the highlights of the show, easily.

I love how a women's match often gets the main event slot of a PPV, now that fans care so much more about their ability than their hotass factor.

[HBPunk]

if triple h was pushed he cud be great,sad watching him get squashed by Meat and PMS

[Xero]

Unrelated, but I had to have the plumber over. He got his polka dotted shirt dirty and had to take it off. Had this huge fucking splotch on his stomach. Was fucked up.

[Vastardikai]

You know, it's good to see Big Show getting jobbed to Trevor Murdoch.

I promise you, that stable with Murdoch, Ray Gordy, and James Storm is gonna be HUGE.

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Santino Marella is a fucking badass. Love that MMA gimmick.</font>

[TheFallenOneX]

It would be nice, if they would quit having Chavo squash Hornswoggle and punking out the Smackdown guest hosts. Also Flair as the RAW GM EPIC!!!!!

[TLHOPPER]

Jeff Hardy's straight edge gimmick is starting to get old

[Heyman]

This thread sucks. :n:

p.s. In all seriousness though, the WWE needs to get rid of Jericho. Every time the guy gets a chance, he shits the bed. 2008 was a great example of this. Thankfully, Cena returned just in time. :y:

[GD]

Shawn Michaels is proud to be an atheist.

[Shadow]

I'm getting a bit tired of this fued between Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Edge and Chrsitian for the WWE Unified Title. Its been going on for like months now and not one of the foursome has had the title for more then a month.

Also I wish they'd turn Jeff face...his heel run, while brilliant, is getting a bit stale in my opinion.

[Ermaximus]

Scotty 2 Hotty just won his 15th career World Heavyweight Title after he defeated some guy named HHH. Whoever the hell that is.

The Hurricane has won his 3rd WWE Title after beating Gillberg in an I Quit Match.

Most importantly, Shelton Benjamin won his 5th consecutive MITB match. What a record he's got going!!!

[Funky Fly]

Don't forget the 20 year fued between Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat and Saba Simba culminating in an unprecedented 2300 Stages of Hell match. Match of the century.

[Waylander]

It's nice to see an interracial tag team.

[TLHOPPER]

I still can't believe rhodes and dibiase turned on randy orton and revealed chavo guerrero as the new leader of legacy

[GD]

Stephanie McMahon just quit WWE to to pursue other opportunities in the marketplace. I am pretty sure she would have stayed with the company if she had married that wrestler Triple-H like her brother Shane McMahon did. Heard Shane and HHH had a second baby. Nice! :)

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Heard that ECW is gonna get really beefed up at the next draft. That's so typical, only caring about the flagship show.</font>

[Theo Dious]

Shawn Michaels is proud to be an atheist.

If he hadn't turned his back on God and found salvation in pills and booze he'd be dead now.

[Theo Dious]

<font color=goldenrod>Heard that ECW is gonna get really beefed up at the next draft. That's so typical, only caring about the flagship show.</font>

Maybe if Vince cared about somebody's opinions who wasn't Paul Heyman something could be done around here!

[Cool King]

I hear that The Undertaker is going to have a match at WrestleMania....again.

It's pointless seeing an Undertaker match at WrestleMania, you just know he's never going to win. :roll:

He's never really brought anything to the table, he's just been one of the biggest jobbers ever. Instead of his match at WrestleMania, they can have a 10 minute mini concert by guys like Limp Bizkit or P.O.D, now the fans would just love that. :cool:

[Theo Dious]

He'd have been so much better off if he'd never left WCW. They really knew how to use him there.

[Ermaximus]

So I hear Gail Kim is the best female wrestler in THE WWE. Her match with Kelly Kelly last week was voted match of the year. True story!

[FourFifty]

Anyone else get a copy of the new Brock Lesnar dvd? It's amazing that they show evey single F5 and shooting start press that he has done, and he NEVER botches them!
This dvd came out just in thme for the Lesnar vs Sting match.

[Ermaximus]

Man, I'm so sick about hearing how much Michael Hayes loves Bobby Lashley. They talk about their "bromance" all the time on tv. It's sickening.

[Xero]

I'd just like to say that, even after 30+ years announcing, Fink is still going strong and is as awesome as ever.

[Ermaximus]

I'd just like to say that, even after 30+ years announcing, Fink is still going strong and is as awesome as ever.

This is true, but he'll never, ever, be as talented as Lillian Garcia. She's done so much good for Smackdown over the years.

[Savio]

I'm glad TNA is filled with original stars

[Stealth-Icon]

Dixie Carter just bought the WWE. Now maybe with the combined rosters of WWE and TNA they can take on the giant WCW which has dominated wrestling industry for the last 15 years.

[Shadow]

I heard Kane's set to win his 15th WWE Title. How many more guys is he gonna have to cut down in the prime of their carrears bhefore someone says enough is enough?

[Corporate CockSnogger]

They really need to get Adamle back at the announce table. Nobody knew wrestling as much as he did.

[Droford]

Vince McMahon, with the XFL rolling after 9 years announced he's buying the CFL and NFL and merging all 3 for the 10th Anniversary of the XFL.

Vince also announced the return of the World Bodybuilding Entertainment, which will air the two nights a week that WWE isn't on the air.

[Jannettyzilla]

Man, that Miz sure is entertaining. :shifty:

[Cool King]

I'm surprised that Cena's amazing wrestling ability hasn't been mentioned yet in this thread. :?:

Guys like Regal and Jericho can't hold a candle to Cena when it comes to fantastic wrestling abilities.

[XCaliber]

Man I wish Morrison would just give up pursuing the IC title I'm getting tired of seeing him job to Ziggler at every event in like the last 3 months.

[Stealth-Icon]

Since winning the Women's title back in 2000, Stephanie McMahon is still undefeated for almost 10 years. What a first time title run she is having. Of course she lives by the rule of only defending it once a year.

[addy2hotty]

I reckon the WWE might just catch TNA's 10.2 rating this week. Especially if Repo Man comes back to get Deacon Batista.

[ImpactPlayer365]

Wonder if Shawn Michaels still wishes he was Marty Jannetty....Jannetty a 22 time World Champ.

[ImpactPlayer365]

If Hulk Hogan would stop jobbing to everyone and actually go over in a big match once in awhile...he could have been something HUGE!

[Londoner]

Good to know they aren't changing loads of ppv's to gimmick ppv's.

Also good to know they aren't raising the prices of them to stupidly high amounts.

[Droford]

The Main Event of WM 26 is rumored at this point to be a returning to WWE Kevin Nash vs an also Returning to WWE Viscera in the Big Daddy vs Big Daddy match, with Adam Sandler as the Guest Ref.

[IrishBulldozer]

Rumor has it that they are planning to redo the Katy Vick storyline because it was a huge success the first time.

[ClockShot]

I heard that creative wants to do a 1-hour show of just shows. From Piper's Pit, all the way to the V.I.P. lounge.

Should put all those late night guys out of business.

[Droford]

I heard that creative wants to do a 1-hour show of just shows. From Piper's Pit, all the way to the V.I.P. lounge.

Should put all those late night guys out of business.

Old rumor! The new rumor is that Abraham Washington is getting his own show.

[Xero]

I hate Val Venis.

Another fucking short-ass Noid post.

Noid, when are you going to realize that Val Venis has been a multi-time heavyweight champion in all the major promotions for a reason?

[Ermaximus]

Does anyone else remember when Big Show KO'd Floyd Mayweather in 15 seconds? Or when Drew Carey won the Royal Rumble? Or when Pete Rose destroyed Kane?

[Xero]

My favorite was when K-Fed beat Arquette for the WCW title.

Fucking epic match.

[Londoner]

Another fucking short-ass Noid post.

Noid, when are you going to realize that Val Venis has been a multi-time heavyweight champion in all the major promotions for a reason?

:rofl:

[Vastardikai]

I can't wait to see what WWF President Gobbledy Gooker is gonna say about the latest acts of Bastion Booger.

[Londoner]

Isn't it great that jeff hardy is the only straight edge world hevayweight champion ever?

[loopydate]

I told you guys not to worry. I knew that lawsuit had no merit. I'm glad to see the court realized that the Fund's attempt to sue WWF was frivolous and they didn't have to change their name.

[Xero]

Can you believe Jeff Hardy being suspended over not using steroids?

What a moron, he knows the policy.

[Swiss Ultimate]

<font color=goldenrod>The Undertaker will once again try to convince people to allow the purity of goodness guide them. No idea if the Lord of the Light will do it.</font>

Maybe he'll finally win at Wrestlemania!

[Londoner]

I love hornswoggle being wwe champ, his feud with chavo has been amazing.

[Londoner]

Blood is so over-used these days.

[Ermaximus]

Why does everyone always chant "We want tables," when the Dudley Boys wrestle? Don't they know the Dudleys are exceptional at ladder matches? If they want tables, then they need to say that to the Hardy Boys.

[The Jayman]

I'm just tired of watching Smackdown every week and hearing Jerry Lawler talking about how great ECW is. I understand he loves the brand and it's wrestlers but enough with the praise

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>JR needs to stop harping his vegan diet.</font>

[IrishBulldozer]

Talking about JR...I hope management replaces JR with the amazing Michael Cole. His vintage commentating trumps that of Soley & Monsoon.

[Xero]

I hear Terry Funk may return. Don't know why he'd want to taint his retirement. He's managed to stay retired for 20 years.

[IrishBulldozer]

Who is this Kane character I keep hearing about????

Anyways, now I'm off to watch my favorite world champion in history....Isaac Yankem,DDS. That dude is sick!

[The Jayman]

X-Pac just won his 16th WWE Title in a hard fought Street Fight against Big Show

[IrishBulldozer]

I always knew X-Pac was better than Flair!

[The Jayman]

X-Pac is also looking to win his 4th Royal Rumble in a row

[Xero]

Can you guys believe WWE is putting out an M rated PPV? Man, never thought I'd see the day. Gonna be AWESOME!

[IrishBulldozer]

I heard about that M-Rated PPV. I just we get a Vickie Guerrero tit shot ;) Talk about YUM-MEEE

[Ermaximus]

I just wish the WWE would stop putting their girls in Playboy. I mean who really wants to see Maryse, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, Melina, the Bella Twins, Katie Lea, Maria, Tiffinay, Eve, Alicia Fox, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, and Beth Phoenix in a giant orgy? Clearly tasteless. You are so disgusting Vince.

[IrishBulldozer]

But did you see Great Khali in Playgirl!? That dude was hung like a donkey! I'm not gay it's just what I heard online ;)

[Cool King]

I hate wrestling.

[IrishBulldozer]

Is it just me or do those Kiss Cam segments go by way to quickly?

[Xero]

Remember when wrestling was terrible? Jobbers like Rock and Austin running the main event? I mean, there was nothing good about that era!

[IrishBulldozer]

Now is the golden age of wrestling...Now that King X-Pac is going for #17 and finally ridding the world of that nobody Flair.

[Phenomenal 1]

Big Dick Johnson just won the ECW Title after squashing Big Van Vader in 30 seconds in a Last Man Standing Match....it was epic!!

[Ermaximus]

Scotty Goldman and Braden Walker. These guys have "future of the business" written all over them!

[Phenomenal 1]

This just in...Triple H and John Cena....both have just been given their "future endeavors" by WWE....now the real main eventers have more room for TV time....I'm so glad that Hornswoggle and Santino Marella are gonna headline Wrestlemania in a 10000 Thumbtacks match...with Scott Hall as the sober referee

[XCaliber]

Has anyone noticed all the 2nd and 3rd gen wrestlers never get pushed?

[IrishBulldozer]

I read on PWPix that Teddy Hart is due for a world title run in 2010.

[Londoner]

This just in...Triple H and John Cena....both have just been given their "future endeavors" by WWE....now the real main eventers have more room for TV time....I'm so glad that Hornswoggle and Santino Marella are gonna headline Wrestlemania in a 10000 Thumbtacks match...with Scott Hall as the sober referee

I don't think that news about cena/hhh is true, Vince doesn't like releasing wrestlers.

[Xero]

Speaking of which, anyone else get a raise recently from Vince?

So glad he hired us and put us all on the payroll. :cool:

[IrishBulldozer]

I'm getting paid in layered gum...as requested.

[GD]

Let's see how Chris Masters has developed after the WWE drug policies have become liberal

Before:

http://nodq.com/images/masters09.jpg

Now:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HT4DQmYVGvA/RlqkhbcOhHI/AAAAAAAAAOE/4TmZSPw30dw/s400/chrismastersold.jpg

[IrishBulldozer]

thank god! Last weeks titty dance would not have been as impressive if he had to do it manually with his hands.

[Londoner]

I reckon hornswoggles been on steroids to.

[The Show Off]

If only the WWE had more money they could keep all their home grown stars and not have to worry about them going to the corporate conglomorate ECW.

Man that Paul Heyman is a financial genius but the guy knows shit about wrestling.

[The Show Off]

It's bullshit that Mickie James is getting buried because og how thin she is.

[Londoner]

I can't wait to buy the best of raw 2009.

[The Jayman]

The Batista DVD was epic

[Xero]

Speaking of DVDs, they need to stop with the Jericho releases. I mean, one or two is fine, but 12? Come on...

[The Jayman]

I wish HHH and HBK would reunite as DX. It has been so long and it needs to happen

[Xero]

Yeah, but Shawn doing the crotch chops all the time now sort of cheapens any possible DX reunion. We get it, you have copious amounts of sex, drugs and you have a huge wang. You're not in DX anymore. :roll:

[The Show Off]

Man it's awesome that how cool one is is directly proportionate to how much wrestling knowledge one has.

I get sooo much pussy reciting the entire history of the WWF European championship.

[The Jayman]

I just figured they could at least join up to battle the tag team champs The Mean Street Posse

[Ermaximus]

So did anyone else hear about how Mr. Kennedy got Randy Orton fired on the night of his return? Apparently Orton worked stiff. Who knew?

[IrishBulldozer]

Man it's awesome that how cool one is is directly proportionate to how much wrestling knowledge one has.

I get sooo much pussy reciting the entire history of the WWF European championship.

Really? You too? I just got a rim job for naming all 16 of Flairs World Title opponents.

[Ermaximus]

Really? You too? I just got a rim job for naming all 16 of Flairs World Title opponents.

Damn, I just got a bj for naming all the guys Undertaker has beaten at WM.

[IrishBulldozer]

you go boi!

[The Show Off]

Really? You too? I just got a rim job for naming all 16 of Flairs World Title opponents.

So having wrestling knowledge also gets you dates in the gay community as well?

That's so weird because everyone talks about how hetro wrestling is.

[Londoner]

I wish we had guest host gms, that would solve all the problems.

[Droford]

Damn, I just got a bj for naming all the guys Undertaker has beaten at WM.

That must have been really easy since he hasn't beaten anyone.

[IrishBulldozer]

So having wrestling knowledge also gets you dates in the gay community as well?

That's so weird because everyone talks about how hetro wrestling is.



1. You don't have to be gay to enjoy this.... :wave:

2. After last nights show, it is easily to conclude that Chavo Guerrero will make the best wrestler turned boxer...ever.

[Ermaximus]

That must have been really easy since he hasn't beaten anyone.

EXACTLY!!! He's gotta be one of the biggest all time jobbers at WM. It was amazing how he put The Goon, Bastian Booger, and Abe "Knuckleball" Schwartz over.

[Innovator]

Man that JBL is such a great lockerroom guy, all I hear about is how he is everyone's best friend, always looking out for the little guy

[IrishBulldozer]

He even scolded Triple H for shitting in Ortons bag!

[XCaliber]

The MITB winners never seem to use an opportune time to cash in the briefcase no wonder they've all failed.

[Swiss Ultimate]

That incest angle was fantastic. Can you believe Stephanie actually considered rejecting the idea?

[Theo Dious]

Talking about JR...I hope management replaces JR with the amazing Michael Cole. His vintage commentating trumps that of Soley & Monsoon.

God man Monsoon was shit. Don't sully Cole's name by placing them anywhere together. Monsoon's comeback on Raw last week only served to further disgrace an already unsalvagable career.

[Theo Dious]

The MITB winners never seem to use an opportune time to cash in the briefcase no wonder they've all failed.

Seriously, the matches are absolutely unwatchabe as it is, and then the idea never pays off. They need to replace that at Mania with more triple cage matches. Those are awesome and all of them have been mad classics.

[Indifferent Clox]

I like wreslting but maybe they should decide who wins the match beforehand sometimes.

[parkmania]

I like wreslting.

What are you, high? The Event Center promos are the stuff of LEGEND!

I'm also sick and tired of Tony Schiavone trying to bring everyone down by mentioning that every night is the worst night in the history of professional wrestling.

[ImpactPlayer365]

President McMahon has just signed a bill that makes all Professional Wrestlers to live tax free and have free healthcare.

[Indifferent Clox]

I think wrestlers should sell less.

[Ermaximus]

I think John Cena should sell less.

[IrishBulldozer]

ECW was great last night. World Champion William Regal is my favorite ever!













:'(

[The Mackem]

if triple h was pushed he cud be great,sad watching him get squashed by Meat and PMS

i love posts like hbpunk's one.dude you have 100+ posts on a wrestling site and then you complain about Meat and PMS' push like your too cool to watch it.how fucking old are you,7?
clown

[Ermaximus]

ICP is the greatest wrestling tag team of all time.

[The Jayman]

ICP is the greatest wrestling tag team of all time.

while the Mean Street Posse is the most dominant stable

[Ermaximus]

But don't forget the Oddities are the most calm, normal, and collected group the WWE has ever seen. Plus they have Luna aka the world's hottest Diva.

[The Jayman]

IDK that Mae Young is the hottest thing going

[Ermaximus]

Yea but the fact that Mark Henry gave birth to her baby was oh so scary.

[XCaliber]

For those who didn't know Lance Hoyt who recently debuted in TNA used to be known as Vance Archer in WWE you know that queer looking guy. :rofl:

[The Show Off]

I'm so fucking sick of the WWE depushing everyone that is good at selling merchandise and instead push people who are talented wrestlers.

[Evolution]

Rumours are that Owen Hart will face Eddie Guerrero for the WWF title at WrestleMania (Owen winning the Rumble)

[Sixx]

Chris Benoit was voted dad of the year.