Classic Wrestling Captions
 

Since there is no live Raw tonight, I thought I'd do some classic captions instead.

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Tantaka, "I think I got some over there."
Billy, "Aw Gross, what did you eat."
Bart, "Holy shi** this stuff is glowing."

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Tugboat just found a coupon in his pocket for a free hamburgar with a purchase of a large soda.



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Val was pissed when he found out that the belt he actually recieved was the International Heavyweight Title, a belt which had been defunct for quite some time.



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And I want you to be a Four Horseman, call 1800-555-Flair.

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Hall, "Hey knock knock."

Nash, "Who's there"

Hall, "WCW"

Nash, "WCW WHO"

Hall, "Exactly"


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The angle was originally suppossed to be Jake DDTing Macho Man on the steel steps, but Jake was a little high that day.

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Bad News knew he shouldn't of attempted a sunset flip.

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Someone gave these guys the wrong directions. They were suppossed to be heading to a Black Sabbath concert.


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Smash, "Hey AX, who is this guy."
Ax, "I don't know, don't look."



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Sting, "This trophy is for a guy called Sting"
Camera guy, "That's you"
sting, "No Kidding"

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Needless to say, this wasn't exactly the response Booker T was going for when he asked for a push.

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BART: Are you okay, man?
TATANKA: I just had a vision of the future. Bart, you win a "shoot" tournament, then get your ass kicked by Butterbean. I'm out of the wrestling mainstream altogether...
BILLY: What about me?
TATANKA: You...are an Ass Man!
All scream.

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Tugboat once again proved that he was the world's best Invisible Sword Swallower.

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The Beast was happy he has won the European Title. Now if he could just get those stupid villagers to stop trying to torch his castle...

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FLAIR: Hey, you. Yeah, you. The one who's reading these captions. You got something on your shirt.

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HALL: And I said, don't worry Booker. You'll be WAY more over if you go back to G.I. Bro!

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Jake was confused. He'd heard of Trouser Snakes before, but...aren't they supposed to come out the front of the trousers?

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Bad News Brown knew to dive and roll over the logo. Bret didn't see it and tripped.

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Okay, everyone in the ring with talent, raise your hand.

That's what I thought.

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SMASH: Isn't that your belt, Ax?
CRUSH: No, it's mine.
AX: I had a watch when I left the locker room...

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STING: How am I supposed to wear this around my waist?

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The hamburger coupon owns!


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FLAIR: NO, YOU'RE A HOMO! (classic pic with classic caption :y: )

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HALL: And he just got back into the ring, only to get injured again! Ha!
Nash: hey wait a minute...

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Jake tried desperately to keep the snake from biting, as the guy in the audience used parselmouth to exact his revenge on macho.


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STING: How the hell am I supposed to fit a whole Heinken Magnum in here? Huh? Tell me!

[QUOTE=Loose Cannon]Since there is no live Raw tonight, I thought I'd do some classic captions instead.

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No matter how irate he got, Tatanka could always be calmed down with a soothing belly rub.

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"Curses! The saleslady said that stripes would have a slimming effect!"



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Val knew that he shouldn't have had that prune juice before the match.



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Ric starts off his career as the ONE TIME, ONE TIME --- whoo! --- ONE TIME World Heavyweight Champion.

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Nash always got a big laugh with Hall's --- ummm --- special brand of puppetry.


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Jake: "Awww, dammit! You landed on my snake."

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As Undertaker sees his Ministry for the first time, he begins to wonder what the hell he did to piss Vince off.


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Smash: "C'mon, strike a pose! Honestly, you two are the worst showgirls I've ever seen!"

Vince's "Operaman" idea failed miserably,forcing Fred Ottman to go
to WCW,where he wore a mask to hide his shame....
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Once again one of Vince's ideas fails,as he couldn't get Val Venis
over as "Macho Man 3000".....
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Nash couldn't control his laughter as Scott Hall asked him to drop
the title to someone else.....
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Jake Roberts' new job as WWF Fashion Consultant failed miserably,
after he attacked Randy Savage for not matching his boots with his
tights....
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Judging by the looks on their faces,even The Ministry had no idea
where the hell this angle was going...
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A rare picture of the ORIGINAL Demolition group is seen below (from
left to right): "The Shooter" Dean Malenko; Duane "Gillberg" Gill; and
Steve Blackman.....
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The sad thing is,Sting had this picture taken yesterday :( :nono:
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Let me try this captioning stuff again...

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Tatanka informed Tobey Keith and Tim McGraw which direction their careers would be going.

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This was the third time this week that Tugboat stole the poor referee's lunchmoney.

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Venis: Lost ANOTHER loan to Ditech!

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Flair points at the funniest looking guy he's ever seen.

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Jericho just told Scott and Kevin that he won't be held down in the WWF.

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Jake: and don't EVER put out another Rap album again, GET IT?

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While Bad News tries to explain how a kick to the head will end his career, Bret exits the ring to talk to Vince, who he feels will never betray him.

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Mark's mom grounded him for a week. He should have known that he and his friends should act out D&D scenes in the living room.

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Smash: But a Biker Gang from Hawaii doesn't make sense!

Crush: It'll work and that's the end of it! Go Steal a Car or something!

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<font color=#33ffff>Farooq: "UH....OH!"

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Hall: I think im a good wrestler

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Studies show that this is not the missing head of Rey

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Kane: Fr.....fr....friend??

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Billy: We just got our asses beat, didn't we?
Bart: Yeah, but I've got great news.
Tatanka: We get a rematch?
Bart: No, I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
Billy: I can't feel a heartbeat.
Tatanka: That's my stomach, jackass.

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A disgruntled fan shot Tugboat in the back, but the big sailor was saved by a salami he was aging in his tank top.

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Val tries out for the title belt discus team.

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Somebody shoot YOU in the head!

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Hall: And then Vince said we'd crawl back to WWF someday!
Nash: I think I tore my quad.

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Savage later insisted that Jake and the snake were sent after him by "Hulk Hogan's people."

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Luckily Bret reached for the Canadian penny just in time.

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The Undertaker insisted on a booth in the nonsmoking section, so the Ministry had to wait.

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Smash: Holy crap Crush, that's one hell of a blade job.

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Wow, if I put this in my pants I'll look really hung!

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This severed head represents a graphic depiction of Vince's plan for the Cruiserweight division.

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Kane exhibits his ability to produce midcarders from his crotch.

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Tatanka needed to get serious medical attention after he saw "THE VINCE"

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Tugboat didn't win the match, but he did just save money on his car insurance.

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Venis was going to kill D'Lo for putting that HEAT RUB in his jock.

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Flair obviously cannot point to his knees. :D

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Hall: And then as he carried our bags, Hunter whined, "I'm going ta be a main eventer sometime. You'll see."

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Kid w/ Glasses: It's FAKE!
Jake: WHOA! IT LOOKS SOOOOO REAAAAAAL!

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The BEGINNING of the END

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When HHH came on stage back in the good old days, this is the wonderful reaction he got from his competitors.

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Smash: Look I didn't steal Axe's watch! I have NEVER stolen and I will NEVER STEAL ANYTHING!
Axe: Wanna bet?

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As you can see, Val Venis did NOT use Preparation H.

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Bart: I'm going to Japan the WWF sucks..
Tananka: I need a real job, I'm tired of playing an Indian..
Billy: Screw this where's Vince? I need a new gimmack.

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Val Venis was angry to find out that the "Big Show" name was given to Paul Wright instead of him when in fact he's a no show..

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Axe: I want a belt.. Lets get the WWF to make a six man title.
Smash: Sh*t he's gone nuts, this isn't WCW!
Crush: You think I care?

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Tugboat realized the Earthquakes begin each time he eats White Castles!