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Here is a revised "Fuck it, they'll probably actually do Triple H vs. Rollins and Cena vs. Undertaker card":
WWE World Championship
AJ Styles (c) vs. Goldberg
-I'm also working under the assumption that Vince McMahon decides to keep Goldberg and Lesnar separate in order to have two special attractions that are larger than his roster. I can see Brock getting eliminated by Goldberg (he's still the only guy that can beat him) and then having a temper tantrum the next night on RAW when he finds out that Goldberg is using the Rumble shot to jump over to SmackDown to work for the bosses he actually likes. Styles plays the chicken-shit well and the presumption is that Goldberg is going to Styles his own personal James Ellsworth.
Yes, This Happens
Brock Lesnar vs. Shane McMahon
-Shane is treated like a star by the WWE. He is good at getting his ass kicked and Brock is good at kicking ass. This is rehab for the Goldberg losses. You couldn't exactly have Brock beat Goldberg and then pretend to be challenged by Shane. The Goldberg frustrations lend Brock/Shane more parity.
The Franchise vs. The Phenom
John Cena vs. The Undertaker
-I'm not stoked about this, but I can see Vince being stubborn about it.
Ugh
Triple H vs. Seth Rollins
-This happens and Seth is booked down to Triple H's level. The crowd will at least pop for Triple H getting beaten by his own move, but it's possible that Triple H gets out of that and there is some murky ending with Shawn Michaels or The Rock getting involved and helping Rollins win with something else. Maybe that superkick to a kneeling opponent comes back?
Not Entirely Sure This Happens, but Let's Prepare for the Worst Match
Big Show vs. Shaq
-Hopefully Shaq has secretly been training for years and this is better than expectations would allow.
Universal Title
Kevin Owens (c) vs. Finn Balor
-This gets planted firmly in the mid-card, although Michael Cole drills in that this is a World Title match representative of the New Era. Owens thinks he is getting a night off as all his enemies end up with opponents and Finn Balor returns as The Demon King to claim the prize he never lost. Owens is terrified because Balor is the guy who beat him for the NXT Championship.
SmackDown Tag Team Championship
The Wyatt Family (c) vs. American Alpha
-I can still see this match happening, and this being the final moment where Orton turns on Wyatt & Harper. I imagine that Orton & Harper will be the team that end up losing the belts, so Wyatt doesn't need to take another dive at WrestleMania here, although he will probably end up eating an RKO.
RAW Women's Championship
Charlotte (c) vs. Bayley vs. Spider Lady (Sasha Banks under a mask)
-Charlotte continues on as Women's Champion (maybe trading it with Bayley a few times) before Ric Flair introduces us to wrestling legend "The Spider Lady." Bayley still has bad blood with Charlotte. It's obvious to the fans who Spider Lady is and Charlotte complains, but Mick Foley grants Spider Lady a WrestleMania title shot against Charlotte just like Bayley -- and the two faces vow that Charlotte isn't walking out champion. Dana Brooke is counteracted by Nia Jax who shows up and is suddenly a babyface because she's The Rock's cousin and isn't like most girls.
SmackDown Women's Championship
Special Guest Referee: Alexa Bliss
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Nikki Bella
-Becky wins back the Women's Title from Bliss, who just got a run because she is hot and they want to earmark her as a future star. Nikki Bella gets her comeback story and Lynch and Bella are all friends, but then Alexa Bliss, wearing a skimpy referee's uniform because Women's Revolution comes out and says that the fate of the SmackDown Women's Revolution will be in her hands. Nikki and Becky both act like they want her to call it down the middle for the sake of the title, but Bliss starts stirring shit implying that they have both come to her and begged for favors.
United States Championship
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Roman Reigns
-I seriously think this could happen. Jericho is one of the best wrestlers in the company and Reigns is going to get a big singles match so why not give it the best chance it can have of being entertaining. Jericho helps Owens retain the RAW Title at the Rumble and Owens pays Jericho back by helping him win the US Title. Jericho works really hard to make this a fun affair.
RAW Tag Team Championship
Sheamus & Cesaro vs. The New Day vs. Gallows & Anderson vs. Enzo & Cass
-It's the yearly tradition of four teams fighting it out in a clusterfuck. They don't usually swap the belts in these things, so Cesaro & Sheamus probably retain.
David vs. Goliath
Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman
-If they drag this out for this long, kudos to them, frankly. It'll probably actually be a hot little affair. Strowman wins because he's big.
Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship
The Miz (c) vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin vs. Kane vs. Kalisto vs. Apollo Crews
-The match that ended Daniel Bryan's career and the ultimate test to prove that The Miz is a true fighting Intercontinental Champion. The Miz makes Daniel Bryan vow that if he wins, this all ends and Daniel Bryan admits that The Miz is a wonderful Intercontinental Champion and has to kiss his ring or something.
Cruiserweight Championship
Neville (c) vs. Kota Ibushi
-Neville wins the CW Title from Swann because Vince gets bored of him and tears through all the babyfaces, necessitating the living legend coming with enough money offered to get him to agree to something resembling enough of a contract for Vince to allow this.
The only person left off this card is Rusev. You can always throw him into the Ladder Match and say his RAW contract expired, stick him in The Rock segment where he gets beaten up or have a Battle Royal on the Kickoff show (probably still dedicated to Andre) where he wins by beating up a lot of cruiserweights, jobbers, etc.
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