|06-04-2006, 08:32 PM||#1|
GCW Monday Night Meltdown 13 (Heat: Page 5)
The show kicks off with a pyro display.
The camera pans over the crowd.
JG: Velcome to Monday Night Meltdown! I am Good Old JG, alongside Vietnamese Crippler! No Man's Land vost a PPV to end all PPVs. Ve vitnessed zome shocking events.
VC: We sure did.
JG: Ist zat all you hef to zay?
JG: Ist it because TNA lost?
VC: Hey, I tried to bring down TNA as much as anyone.
JG: Zen vot ist ze matter?
VC: I bet last month's pay on James Steele beating Avenger.
NO CAPTION, CAUSE THAT’S WHATCHA GOT!
UP AGAINST A McDONALDS TOO STRONG,
GREEDY RONALD-LOVERS BUYING FRIES FROM US ARE – PUPPETS,
YOU’LL FIND YOUR PLACE IN LINE,
STICK A Mc-NUGGET UP YOUR-ASS NOW, BOY,
CAUSE IT’S, JUST A MATTER OF TIME,
CAUSE YOU GOT, NO CAPTION!
NO CAPTION IN HELL!
VC: It's our former boss.
Outsider: Ladies and Gentlemen, after being removed from my position of power by the board of directors, I only have two announcements to make. My final act as GCW owner was to name next month's Pay-Per-View, and that show will be called 'Zero Hour'.
Outsider: And finally, I have been asked by the board to introduce you to the new General Manager of GCW...
I'M BACK, AND BADDER THAN EVER...
WHAT JEW GONNA DO WHEN WE GUN FOR YOU?!
STAND IN LINE!
IT'S SHOWER TIME!
JG: MEIN FUHRER!
VC: God Dammit...
JG: HEIL HITLER! HEIL HITLER!
The Fuhrer makes his way to the ring, to a very mixed reaction.
TNA Marks: FUCK YOU HITLER! *clap clap clap clap clap* FUCK YOU HITLER!
NCW Marks: HEIL HITLER! HEIL HITLER! HEIL HITLER!
Jews: YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
HHHitler: It brings a tear to mein eye. It ist zo gut to be back. Sings vill change around here, und if you do nicht like it... Vot Jew Gonna Do?!
HHHitler: Mein first action as new GM ist to make a metch at Zero Hour... It vill be Loose Cannon... Von on von... Viz... ME, YOUR FUHRER! You vonted it, LC... YOU GOT IT! For such a huge metch, ve can nicht trust a regular referee... Zerefore I vill handpick my own special referee for ze metch.
HHHitler: And as for TNA...
HHHitler: You vill be exterminated!
Match 1: Tag Team Titles: Slater/Seymour (c) vs The ULTIMATE Squad.
And we are......
The ULTIMATE Squad
JG: Only 2 members of ze Ultimate Squad vill be involved in zis metch.
THE ULTIMATE SQUAD, WE'RE ON A ROLL,
WE SURE CAN BEAT SLATER, AND HIS BUDDY FISH-BOWL
LETS HEAR IT FOR THE ULTIMATE SQUAD!!!! WOOOO!!!
AND WE ARE...
WOOOOOOOO STAY IN THE BACK IT’S ME IT’S ME IT’S HOLLA IF YA SMEEEEEEELL THE MAAAAN WHO’S CORKIN’ TO ME ABOUT BOWING DOWN TO THE FUTURE OF VENI VIDI VICI NOT A ROLEMODEL SPITTING IN THE FACE OF ULTIMATE PEOPLE WHO DON’T THUNDERIZE OUT OF THE WATER WHILE RUUUUUULING AT BAYSIDE LIKE A ROCKET QUEEN WHO DOESN’T LOOK INTO MY EYES TO MAKE A FINGER LICKIN’ BEAST OF HIMSELF WHEN HE’S YOUNG DUMB AND UGLY AND HAVE MERCY WHEN THE MILITARY BROKE MY BALLS WHILE SUCKING A RADDICAL NIGGAAAAAA WHO IS THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE IN THE CULT OF DIALEYELAIA AT MOUNT DOOM BECAUSE SOMEBODY’S GOTTA DIE SO I CAN EAT YOU WHEN IT’S SHAGG TIME SO ARE YOU READY TO LIE CHEAT AND CAPTION LIKE A VIR*BUUUURP* SO FEEL THE HEEL COMIN’ THROUGH BECAUSE THE CHAMPS ARE NURRRRRRRR-ADOOOOOOO!
The crowd cheer, as the Champs pose with their belts.
All 5 members of the ULTIMATE squad completely disregard the rules and launch a 5 on 1 assault on Slater.
The referee tries to stop it, but they turn their attention to Seymour instead.
VC: These guys are stupid.
The ref has seen enough.
*DING DING DING*
SURE WE LOST, BUT IT WAS BY DQ
WE DID IT ON PURPOSE, SO SCREW YOU!
JG: Vot a bunch of clowns.
Result: Slater/Seymour Retain via DQ.
RATED ARRRRR SUPERSTAR
The crowd pop for Steve.
Steve: Now J-Dogg, if ye would, comedown to t'ring. I've a present for ye.
J Dogg: I dunno what you're tryina pull here, Steve...
J Dogg: But I aint fallin' for it.
Steve: Now now J-Dogg, tis just a gift to help you in your misguided career towards championship gold...
J Dogg: And what the fuck is this?
Steve: Tis a cutlass, t'will serve ye well.
The crowd are confused as Steve leaves the ring.
Last edited by NoJabbaNoBogRoll; 06-16-2006 at 02:49 PM.
|06-04-2006, 08:33 PM||#2|
Match 2: James Steele vs Reno Valentine.
Boos ring out as newcomer Reno Valentine enters the ring in his debut match.
A mic lowers from the rafters as the lights dim in preparation for Valentine's speech.
Reno: As I come to grace all of you crackpots with my presence, I should demonstrate my incredible powers of self-introduction. Therefore, without further ado, I present myself to you as the NEXT GREAT THING in Caption Entertainment...
THE HEEL OF THE GODS...
THE MASTER OF THE SHOOT...
THE KING OF HEELS...
THE ULTIMATE HEEL...
THE SADISTIC SCOUNDREL...
JAMES FUCKING STEELE
IT'S STILL HEEL TO ME DAMMIT!
Valentine is choked as James Steele makes his appearance to a surprising amount of cheers. Reno quickly takes off his suit and unveils his wrestling gear as the King of Heels makes his way to the ring.
The bell rings as the two men face off. They quickly lock up.
Steele uses his strength to shove the newcomer down.
Reno quickly jumps back up and takes out his frustration at the corner turnbuckle.
The two lock up once more.
But this time, Reno delivers a stiff punch to the face!
Pissed off, Steele charges and takes Reno down to the mat!!
Steele knocks the rookie around with some punches to head in retaliation before relenting when the ref tells him to break the move.
Pausingly only for a second, Steele then picks his opponent up and takes him to the corner before slamming his head into the turnbuckle.
As Reno staggers back toward the middle of the ring, Steele kicks him in the gut and sets up for his finisher!
But the young gun has enough presence to drop down and out of the move, rolling to the outside. After a brief rest period, Reno rolls back into avoid getting counted out. For a third time, the two lock up.
But Valentine feigns and pokes Steele in the eye, applying some heelish practices of his own! Reno then uses the opening to work on James' arm.
Reno flips Steel over with a snapmare before going to work with another wrenching armbar.
Steele does not tap out, however, so Valentine switches to punches to the head.
After being forced the break the hold, Valentine brashly poses at the ropes, much to the chagrin of the fans.
The rookie mistake of turning your back to your opponent comes back to haunt young Reno, however, as he steps off the ropes, turns around, and walks straight into a big back body drop!
Steele pounces upon his opponent again, stomping him toward the ropes, then using the ropes to choke the young man with his boot!
Steele follows the offense up with a vertical suplex!
Then applies an armbar back onto Valentine!
Out of nowhere, however, Reno twists out of the move, then hoists Steele onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry position!!
JG: Ist zhis hist finishing move?
Before the audience has a chance to find out, however, James counters the move by sliding off Reno's back and pushing him into the referee, knocking him out!!!
Steele follows this with a blatant low blow (the ref is out of it but still standing at this point)!
This allows the perfect setup for the Twisted Steele!!
VC: Here it comes! The king of heelish finishers!
JG: Vait a moment, vhat ist zhat?!
PKO BY SPLAYA ON STEELE!!!!
JG: Zhe ref never saw it!!
VC: Well duh, fagnuts. He was unconscious.
Splaya springs back up and poses as the crowd looks on, shocked and speechless.
Then, as the ref begins to stir, he slides out of the ring and backs up the ramp. Meanwhile, Reno staggers back up. Noticing Steele down and out, he climbs the top rope and comes off with a sky high leg drop!!!
Reno Valentine with the cover!
* DING! DING! DING! *
JG: Mein gott, vhat a huge upset!! Reno Valentine has picked up a vin on hist first match thanks to Splaya!!!
Reno groggily celebrates his big win!
Winner by Pinfall: Reno Valentine
AVENGER INJURY UPDATE
Avenger: Fans, I got some great news. The doctors have cleared me to return to the ring. So I'll be fit and ready to defend my Title on Heat this week.
Avenger: That's right, I'm issuing a challenge to the man that just beat James Steele... Reno Valetine, it's time I gave you your big break. Your chance to rub shoulders with a true Champion inside the ring. When I beat you, 1-2-3, you'll learn to respect this business... The hard way.
Bod: LC, how does it feel to watch your arch nemesis become your new General Manager?
LC: How do you think it feels?
LC: It feels great.
LC walks away, leaving Bod confused.
Last edited by NoJabbaNoBogRoll; 06-08-2006 at 08:46 AM.
|06-04-2006, 08:37 PM||#3|
Match 3: Tag Match: Thunder/Terrance vs Azriel/Voldemort.
DEAD MAN WALKIN'
Part of the crowd marks out for the TNA representative while others boo.
Huge pop for the most technical captioner in the business!
Both men have their respective wizards on the ring-apron as the ref calls for the bell.
The two rivals go at it. Azriel manages to slam Thunder to the ground, viciously.
Azriel pounces on the fallen Thunder and applies a tight headlock.
However Thunder is able to use his perfect technique to get behind Azriel and slam him to the mat.
Thunder quickly goes for the Thunderlock but Azriel manages to get to his feet and hits an Enziguri.
Thunder rolls under the ropes to get a breather. However Azriel follows him and attempts a sick German Suplex to the outside.
Thunder holds on for dear life and eventually elbows Azriel and gets a reprieve. Thunder goes back into the ring and Azriel follows. Azriel goes for a clothesline but Thunder ducks and hits the Thunderslam!!!
Thunder goes for the cover but Voldemort interferes blasting the Thunder with one of his spells.
JG: Zis is all legal folks.
Azriel takes advantage of the situation by locking in the Crossface!!!
However Terrance plays the same game as Voldemort and blasts Azriel before any damage could be done.
Azriel gives Terrance the look of disgust.
Which gives Thunder time to recover and hit a German Suplex!!!
Thunder goes for another but Azriel counters and hits one of his own.
Azriel keeps the hands locked but Thunder reverses and hits another German Suplex!!!
Azriel blocks another one and hits his second German Suplex!!!
Thunder reverses and hits another suplex!!!
And Azriel then counters and hits his third suplex!!!
With Thunder in trouble, Terrance tries to help by blasting Azriel. However he doesn't notice that Voldemort has moved behind him!!!
Voldemort blasts Terrance who goes flying through a nearby table!!!
Back in the ring Thunder manges to reverse the Crossface that Azriel attempted and locks in the Thunderlock!!!
Azriel tries to reach the ropes but has no luck as Thunder tightens the screw!!!
Unfortunately Voldemort notices and blasts Thunder again!!!
JG: Thunder is in serious trouble now!!!
Azriel applies a sharpshooter!!!
And in a swift movement Azriel changes into the Crossface!!!
However with sheer guts, Thunder fights out of it and kicks out at Azriel, who is stunned. Voldermort tries another blast but Thunder ducks and gives him the eyes!!!
Before nailing a vicious Thunderslam!!!
Thunder stands in the middle of the ring in defiance as the crowd erupts!!!
But Azriel is back up!!!
Thunder tries to fight but Azriels tightens the hold!!!
Thunder's hand starts to waiver!!!
Azriel is suddenly blasted!!!
JG: TERRANCE IS BACK UP!
JG: AND NOW ZE THUNDERLOCK!!!
Thunder is then blasted!!!
Voldemort: It's not going to be that easy!!!
Terrance: Bring it on!!!
JG: EVERYONE IS OUT!!!
(Terrance just happened to fall back into table)
Ref: Ring the bell!!!
*DING DING DING*
Announcer: This match has been declared a No Contest!!!
JG: All ze carnage and none of ze four men can continue!!! Ze rivalry betveen Azriel und Thunder goes on!!!
Result: No Contest.
Last edited by NoJabbaNoBogRoll; 06-08-2006 at 08:48 AM.
|06-04-2006, 08:39 PM||#4|
Debra316: Please eat these delicious 316 Cookies. They'll make you feel better.
Disturbed: If I try one, will you shut the fuck up?
Disturbed: That cookie tasted like shit.
Disturbed: I can feel it comin' back up...
Debra316: My hair!
Disturbed: Gotta get outta here...
Disturbed: Help... Me...
Steele: Get him the fuck outta here before he pukes on me too.
Match 4: International Title: Legend Killer (c) vs Shaggy.
IT'S SHAGG TIME
"The End of Heartache" hits as Shaggy makes his way to the ring for competition!
Suddenly, out of nowhere...
LK comes flying out of the stands with a huge leaping forearm, taking Shaggy to the ground!
LK follows it up by performing an impressive standing leaping hurricanrana outside of the ring!
Shaggy crashes into the barrier in pain before LK picks him up and roughly shoves him into the ring, where another person is waiting...
JG: It ist Madman!!!
GONNER BY MADMAN!!!
The camera pans out, revealing Azriel perched on the top rope!
He flies forward with a flying headbutt!!
And connects full force on a prone Shaggy, leaving him rolling in agony!
Meanwhile, LK has set a table up in the corner of the ring. He and Azriel pick Shaggy up and hold him in front of it as Madman measures him up for another Gonner!
STRAIGHT INTO THE TABLE!!!
Not finished, LK picks up his battered opponent from the wreckage and delivers a sick German suplex!
JG: Mein gott vhat impact to zhe neck!!!
Azriel pounces upon a downed Shaggy by locking in the Crossface!!!
Shaggy screams in excrutiating pain, but Az doesn't let go! Meanwhile, LK, sporting a temporary blue shirt, taunts his downed opponent.
JG: Stop it! You are going to break hist neck!!!!
Outside, Madman sets up a table. He rolls back in as Azriel finally breaks the hold, then picks Shaggy up in preparation for a pile driver!!
JG: No, please don't do vhat I zhink zhey are going to do!
PILE DRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!
LK poses as the crowd rains boos.
With his TNA brethren behind him, Legend Killer grabs a mic.
LK: Little Shaggy thinks he stands a chance against the greatest Intercontinental Champion ever? He thinks he stands a chance agaist the greatest FORCE ever? In case you've forgotten, TNA is here to stay, and we will only grow stronger.
LK: Shaggy was simply a statement. All who oppose TNA, look at this idiot. Let this be a warning! We WILL take what is ours. Because THE FUTURE IS NOW! THE FUTURE IS TNA!!!
Officials and refs come to the ring to check on Shaggy, who seems to have been seriously injured.
Inno: TNA is indeed the future... But we are also the present... And speaking of presents... Madman, for your work helping TNA to re-establish itself... I present you with this...
Inno: THE TNA X-TREME TITLE!
Madman is overcome with joy.
Madman: I accept this gesture of faith in the Mad One... Inno, you truly are the cornerstone of TNA...
I'M BACK, AND BADDER THAN EVER...
WHAT JEW GONNA DO WHEN WE GUN FOR YOU?!
STAND IN LINE!
IT'S SHOWER TIME!
HHHitler: Who in ze HELL do you sink you are?!
HHHitler: TNA are an inferior race zat vill be viped out!
HHHitler: Und as for your 'X-Treme' Title... I hereby nullify zat belt... I vill nicht sanction any metches for zat piece of garbage!
HHHitler: Madman, as punishment for your acceptance of zis atrocity... At Zero Hour... You vill be annihilated... By my son-in-law... LPD!
The crowd pop.
HHHitler: Und LK, do nicht sink I hef forgotten about you. I still remember how you disrobed und jumped back to TNA in ze glory days of NCW... Zo I am putting you into a metch you can nicht vin... At Zero Hour... You vill defend your Title... Against ze last NCW Vorld Chempion... Disturbed!
The crowd cheer.
HHHitler: TNA... Your days are numbered... I vill nicht rest until every last von of you ist destroyed!
Result: Match Never Started.
|06-04-2006, 08:42 PM||#5|
LIVE GAY SEX: Rob Roider & Johnny Vegas.
IT'S JOHNNY V
The crowd pop as the Doctor of Faganomics slides into the ring.
VC: King size, baby!
HOLLA, IF YA QUEER ME
HOLLA, IF YOU'RE NOT A FAG
Crowd: LIVE GAY BUTTSECKS! *clap clap clap clap clap* LIVE GAY BUTTSECKS!
JG: Zis should be interesting.
VC: Yeah, we're so comfortable with our sexuality that we can watch this.
JG: I can nicht vait to zee Rob's hot azz.
VC: Way to blow our cover, Fagballs.
Roider: Johnny, we don't have to do this.
Vegas: We can't break the contract.
Vegas: But there's something I need to tell these people first... I need to tell them your secret.
Roider grabs the mic.
Roider: You people don't really wanna hear that, do ya?
Crowd: TELL US VEGAS! *clap clap clap clap clap* TELL US VEGAS!
Vegas: I'm gonna give the people what they want.
Vegas: It all started a couple of decades ago... Rob was only a young man... He was ninet... Well, let's just say he was a year over 18.
Vegas: Rob wanted more than anything to become a wrestler, but wrestling schools don't come cheap... And Rob's family were dirt poor.
Vegas: Rob needed money so he could live his dream... He was willing to do anything...
Roider: Please... Don't tell them...
Vegas: There's only one tiny little part of the story left to tell...
Vegas: To get the quick cash he needed... Rob took drastic action...
Vegas: HE MADE A GAY PORN MOVIE!
Vegas: Let's see some footage from Rob's debut movie: 'Queer No Evil'.
Vegas: Play the tape!
Vegas: Just thinking about it makes me so damn hot.
Vegas: Grab your popcorn, it's about to start!
Vegas: Here we go...
JG: MEIN GOTT!
VC: He's beatin' the Hell out of his own partner!
JG: Vot a suplex!
VC: He's lookin' at the chair...
JG: NEIN! DO NICHT DO IT!
JG: Rob, vot are you doing?!
JG: ROID RAGE!
Vegas screams in pain, until Rob releases the hold.
Last edited by NoJabbaNoBogRoll; 06-08-2006 at 08:49 AM.
|06-04-2006, 08:45 PM||#6|
VC: This is gettin' ugly.
JG: NEIN! NICHT ZE CHAIR AGAIN!
JG: NEIN! SCHTOPP! SOMEBODY HELFEN!
VC: This guy has totally lost his mind.
Roider: LISTEN UP, BITCHES!
Roider: I AM NOT... A FAG!
JG: Somebody call ze EMTs!
JG: DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!
VC: I guess this means we won't be seeing any gay sex this week.
The camera cuts backstage.
Gene: Well folks, I am joined at this time by the World Heavyweight Champion. The man whose opponent for Zero Hour will be decided in our next contest. He is, of course, 'Action' Jack Icon. Jack, first off, what are your thoughts on the actions of your stablemate, Rob Roider?
Icon: Rob clearly has some issues, but I'm confident we can get through them together. What happened tonight was the result of a lot of stress. Hell, I'd be stressed if I was shown up as a Gay pornstar... But about my World Title... As usual, Gene, it seems the deck is stacked against the Champion... But every time the you back a wild beast into a corner, it comes out fighting, and that's exactly what I plan to...
Gene: Excuse me, but what do you mean 'as usual, the deck is stacked against the Champ'? As I recall, energy drinks helped you retain your Championship in two different bouts... Not to mention that time you used a time machi... Wait, there's no way I'd know about that is there?
Icon: Okay, better make this good...
Icon: Think damn it...
Icon: What I was trying to say, Gene, is that no matter what I come up against, I always come out on top. All through my career, I've fought in epic battles... I've dropped the leg on guys bigger and stronger than anyone on the GCW roster today.
Icon: This crystal ball can see into the future, and I see the Iconamaniacs celebrating another comprehensive victory.
Gene: Would it be fair to say that the crystal ball is nothing more than your hands cupped into the shape of a globe?
Icon: COME ZERO HOUR, WHETHER IT'S CORKY OR INNO... YOUR ASS IS GRASS, NIGGA!
Icon: Tell me I didn't just say that.
|06-04-2006, 08:47 PM||#7|
Main Event: World Title #1 Contender Match: Corky vs Inno.
YOU CORKIN' TO ME?!
JG: Corky viz anozer chance to face Jack Icon if he vins tonight.
VC: Third time is the charm. But gettin' past Inno won't be easy.
FIRE IT UP
LET THE ENGINES ROLL...
LOOK INTO MY EYES
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
THE CULT OF PERSONALITY
The crowd boo as the leader of TNA makes his entrance.
The 2 men stare each other down, as the ref calls for the match to begin.
They quickly tie up, and Corky uses his strength to force Inoo into the corner.
The ref breaks them apart. Inno charges out of the corner but Corky as it well scouted and scoops the leader of TNA up and over.
Corky pulls up Inno and whips him into the ropes, but is caught with a clothesline.
Corky is up quickly, But Inno nails a dropkick.
Corky is sent tumbling out of the ring to the floor.
Inno follows him out and delivers a coupleof stiff chops by the crowd barrier.
Inno rolls Corky back into the ring and sets him up in the centre. Inno then goes up top...
Corky rolls out of the way!
Corky stalks Inno as he pulls himself up.
VC: Behind you!
The dropkick knocks Corky to the canvas. Inno pulls him back up and stands him in the corner.
VC: High impact comin' up!
JG: Vot a move!
Inno pulls Corky up to his feet again, but the big man lifts him onto his shoulders.
JG: Ist Corky going for ze Vortex?!
Inno manages to escape onto the top turnbuckle.
Corky wastes no time and is on him quickly...
But Inno grabs Cork's head and sets him up for Pure Innovation.
VC: Here it comes!
Last edited by NoJabbaNoBogRoll; 06-08-2006 at 08:42 AM.
|06-04-2006, 08:49 PM||#8|
Inno spots somebody on the ramp.
JG: Vot are Azriel und LK doing out here?!
The ref exits the ring and tells Azriel to leave.
Inno looks on.
JG: GONNER! GONNER! GONNER TO INNO!
The Mad One poses.
Madman is out of the ring before the referee turns around, as Corky pulls himself up out of the corner.
He stalks Inno, who very slowly gets up to his feet.
JG: Zumbs down!
Corky makes the cover...
*DING DING DING*
Corky celebrates his victory.
He spots the TNA members on the ramp.
JG: Vy vould Team TNA attack zeir own leader?!
VC: Corky looks happy.
Team TNA slide into the ring with steel chairs.
JG: MEIN GOTT!
Madman: Inno, you're probably feeling confused right now. That's not because of the chairshot to the head, it's because Team TNA have just shown you exactly what we think of you. Your leadership of TNA has been nothing but a failure, and now instead of moulding us into a tight unit, you strive for personal glory.
Inno starts to get up.
LK grabs him.
JG: KILLER CLASH!
Azriel goes up top...
JG: FLYING HEADBUTT!
LK then goes up top.
JG: SPIRAL TAP!
Madman: We don't blame the powers that be for holding TNA down... We don't blame HHHitler for holding TNA down... WE BLAME YOU FOR HOLDING TNA DOWN! Without you, we will become a force to be reckoned with, and we will take our rightful place at the top of this industry... AND YOU CAN TRUST US ON THAT!
The crowd are stunned as the show goes off the air.
Result: Corky Wins via Pinfall.
|06-04-2006, 08:56 PM||#9|
Head on a Rollercoaster
ROIDER: woooo....not gay
ROIDER: ...mmhmmm..love NOT being gay.....american idol comes on tonight....FUCK...stop....
ROIDER: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS...?!?!
ROIDER: Who the fuck did........Dear Robert...just wanted to give you this as a token of..........autographed.........