MAW BEACH PARTY MASSACRE

[The Vindicator]

LIVE FROM SEATTLE, WASHINGTON

BODY-COUNT ELIMINATION CHAMBER QUALIFYING MATCHES:

MICHAEL VINCENT PARSONS
vs.
"BADMOUTH" BOBBY BEAMER

SEYMOUR
vs.
THUNDER

DANNY ELECTRIC
vs.
JEFF CLARK

JAMES STEELE
vs.
LOU P. DAIGHT

TRISMEGISTUS SMITH
vs.
DOUBLE-TALK

SPECIAL ATTRACTION:

RAMPAGE KICKS SONNY IN THE FACE

GAUNTLET TITLE:

PHINEAS DINSDALE
vs.
A.C. SLATER

TAG TEAM MATCH:

LANGSTON ENGLISH AND SUPERMAX
vs.
WES LANG AND RODNEY OCULUS

ANARCHY TITLE #1 CONTENDER'S MATCH:

(UNDER ANARCHY DIVISION RULES)
AVENGER
vs.
TERMINATOR

SINGLES MATCH:

JOB CONQUEST
vs.
"WILD" COLIN POWERS

SINGLES MATCH:

TYLER FROST
vs.
WHOEVER HE WANTS

ALL THIS AND MORE!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Slater, you've got a Gauntlet match coming...



Gauntlet? I love that arcade game. All the running around and stomping on snakes and things while throwing axes at everything that moves.



That's not...



But not that "Seven Sorrows" crap they tried to pass off as a game.



Such a horrible shame what was done to the series with that release.



I mean, they didn't even have any rune stones to find.



I actually found a rune stone once, you know.



I was digging through the storage room of a jewelry shop I was sleeping in and there it was.



It was a pretty little shiny stone. It was hiding in a box labeled "diamonds."



By the way, did you know that there is an elevator in most holy Skybox?



.......

[James Steele]

Mr. Steele, you asked for this interview but I've got to ask...why you have that replica belt?


Just to piss Ted O'Donnell off.



Back on topic, you are in a huge match with Lou P. Daight on Melee with a spot in the Elimination Chamber match on the line.


LPD and you both seem to be distracted by all the personal and professional torment swirling around you instead of each other.


You tried to play some mind games with Lou regarding the situation with Seymour and you've said you want vengeance for the incident that occurred in a ppv title match years ago in GCW.


We all know you've been talking of finally redeeming yourself, but you have seemingly gotten lost in the shuffle again.


Mr. Steele, the question is the same it has been for quite awhile but now the tone is growing much more annoyed and cynical...is THIS the time, is THIS the match, is this FINALLY the time where James Steele permanently gets back on track?


Shut the fuck up, already.


I'm tired of those questions.


Hell, I'm tired of lying and saying what I want others and myself to believe.


Lou and I have been at this awhile and we both are looking to cement our legacy as guys whose careers stretched over generations with dominance.


We've both gotten caught up in these storms of emotion.



But when that bell rings, the thunder will be silent and the lightning will not be all that bright.


We both will go as hard as we can to get a big victory.


Sadly, LPD is too nice and more worried about friends than championships.


Only 1 person in this match is truly willing to do whatever it takes to win.


Everybody likes Lou, even me, but I do not like Lou enough to not cave his skull in with a sledgehammer for a chance to become World Heavyweight Champion.

[James Steele]

Hello, FrostyNation! I'm here with my friends Chet and Bo here at a cupcake store.


I know what you are all thinking, why are you at a cupcake store when you have your 2nd match in MAW against the World Champion?


The answer is pretty simple...


Even communists like cupcakes, right?


...


Anyway, cupcakes are friggin' sweet.


Literally.


Alright ma'am, I'll take that red one. No polar bear ecosystems were destroyed in the making of this cupcake, correct?


Alright guys, I need help coming up with a gameplan for Mr. O'Donnell.


I'd even go as far to say I need a business plan because this match isn't so much a game as it is serious business.


I'm worried that he thinks I am disrespecting him by challenging him.


Bo, it is anything but disrespect. It is out of pure respect for him and elite competition that I challenged him.


Speaking of challenges, what is taking so long on my cupcake? It was already made and in the case.


Hi, ma'am. Where is my cupcake?

You left it on the counter, sir.


Look at that, pure honesty.


I feel so bad for getting upset about my cupcake.


I hate when I let my emotions get the better of me.


My Uncle Otto used to tell me stories about ancient Eskimo warriors who wouldn't cry because they couldn't cry.


Crazy, I know.


Uncle Otto said that the God of War removed their tear ducts and emotions so they could fight until their very last breath without distraction.


People fought like heck over igloos. I guess because they wanted to use them before they melted.


Sadly, some European settlers raped and pillaged my great grandfather's village and I know have the emotions and tear ducts of the white man.


Luckily for me, no amount of interracial coitus could destroy my Eskimo warrior spirit.


I can't friggin' wait to go to war on Melee with the most revered and vicious warrior on the glacial landscape.


Can you please bring me my cupcake?


I've gotten so excited talking about my match on Melee that I can't stand up right now.


Sure. Be right back.

YAY! You rock.


Here you go, sir.


One whole-grain eco-friendly cupcake.


Thank you, ma'am.


HECK YEAH!


Pardon me while I tear into this cupcake like all my young fans on Christmas or whatever other gift-based religious holiday they observe.






There is only one thing that can be sweeter than this awesome cupcake.


Beating Ted O'Donnell.


Mr. O'Donnell, I respect you and am truly humbled and excited for the opportunity to compete against you on Melee.


When the bell rings, we will be like lions and hyenas...mortal enemies.


But before and after the bell, we should be like cupcakes and frosting...


Friends.


Best of luck on Melee, buddy. I have no doubt that we will push each other to the limit and put on a heck of a show for all the fans.


Remember kids, only devour a cupcake every few weeks or you'll get diabetes and lose your leg.


That would suck more than this cake is tasty.


Have an awesome day, everyone!

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

Another video, courtesy of AFTERLIFE:

SPOILER: show

[James Steele]

Don't you mean Afterlife?

[James Steele]

Another entrance video from Afterlife:

SPOILER: show

[Afterlife]

He lies.

[James Steele]

I never took you for a Paul Wall kind of guy, AL.

[Innovator]

SPOILER: show

Tucker: Rejoice, Class! Here comes the Champ!



Class: I wonder what he's going to say in response to Orrin here!





Tucker: Cmon, feast your eyes and fantasize at that image!

Class: You're doing enough fantasizing for everyone here...















Well?...







Tucker: What a statement!

[Corndad]

Seymour, you're right. We are a lot alike. We both have fought for these fans for years. Done what is right. Been role models to kids every where.



We have set a standard for being technically gifted in that ring, yet neither of us has been a World Champion. I won't lie sometimes I think why didn't I just break the rules. Do dastardly deeds. Cheapen my way to the Title.



I just couldn't bring myself to it. Every time I walk to the ring and see those little kids in the crowd salute me. Show me I am their hero. I just can't let them down.



I thought you were the same kind of guy. I couldn't wait for that day you were entering the MAW Hall of Fame. I couldn't wait to shake your hand and thank you for doing it the right way. For being a fellow Role Model like me.



Don't throw that all out the window Seymour. You are way too good for this. You are way too good to be treating Dementia this way. Hell you are too good to be treating Lou this way.



But enough with the therapy talk, maybe what you need is a match. A match that will open your eyes to what can be accomplished still being the good guy.



That match happens at Melee. That match happens with me. We can absolutely blow the roof off this place. The last tournament, I was this close to beating Ted O'Donnell and moving on. This close.



Management must have thought I deserved another shot at it, and I'm not planning on letting them down. I won't let you down either Seymour.



Confused? Well let me explain. You need to see what you would leave behind being the quote unquote Bad guy. You need to see fighting for that higher cause can lead you to Championships.



It can lead you to great heights in this industry. You don't need to treat woman like that Seymour. You went nuts. I can understand that.



Sorry is hard word to say. Forgiveness is a trait very few men have.



You have your chance at Forgiveness. Show these fans you still are the old Seymour.



Most importantly, show Dementia you are still the old Seymour.



If not, I may need to beat him out of you at Melee. The ball is in your court...

[Kapoutman]

Steele, give up on the James Steele character and keep going with Tyler Frost. I don't think I have been that entertained by you in 5 years. Good work.

[XL]

Seconded.

[XL]

Thirded.

[loopydate]

Fourthded.

Heck yeah!

[James Steele]

OH MY...


HECK YEAH!


Mr. Quoyle and Mr. O'Donnell, I do hope you forgive me for interrupting this exciting conversation but I have something I need to say to Mr. O'Donnell's face.




Mr. O'Donnell, I respect the heck out of you and am truly humbled that you accepted by contractually binding challenge.


I know you have a lot on your mind being World Champion, but I hope you aren't over looking me.


Don't be threatened by the briefcase. I just carry it around because my mother always told me to never leave home without clean underwear.


True words for the wise.





Motherly advice aside, I want you to know that I am going to give you, FrostyNation, and the entire world my absolute best on Melee.


All the stories about my family, my ancestors, my love of nature, and my love of hopes and dreams coming true will ring with much more conviction upon the conclusion of our match on Melee.


Ted O'Donnell versus Tyler Frost will go down as an important moment in wrestling history.


It will be an avalanche of destiny rumbling throughout the wrestling community.


Nobody will be buried under a mountain of snow, thankfully, but I will have plenty of underwear for everyone because lots of people will poo themselves when I make you tap to the Yeti Snatch or Tundra Deathlock.




On Melee, I will once again prove to every kiddo and kiddo at heart that dreams do come true no matter how many pairs of underwear it takes!







I'll even bring some Lion King underwear for you Mr. Quoyle.


Thank you, young Tyler. You are most kind and considerate.


FrostyNation, let's count it down: 1...2...3! YAY!

[XL]

Danny, while you've made your feelings clear on "Double Talk" and his involvement in the Best of Threeway Match, we're yet to hear your thoughts on Ted O'Donnell becoming World Champion.



That's because nobody has asked me what I think of Ted O'Donnell becoming World Champion. Nobody has asked me the right question...



OK. So...what are your thoughts on Ted O'Donnell becoming World Champion?



Ask and you shall receive.



Ted O'Donnell stole the World Championship from a guy that stole it from a guy that was gifted it. Do you know who the champion was before that?



You were.



I was. The last World Champion to actually earn the title. The last legitimate World Heavyweight Champion.



Ted O'Donnell may be walking around with the belt but it seems The Debt Collector has run up quite a bill for himself.



Parsons, Steele, Smith and yours truly. All feeling cheated, all gunning for that belt and all gunning for Ted.



Four men all with claims to that World Title. Some have strong and legitmate claims, others not so much. Do y'know what I'd do if I had this many men with claims to the belt and vendettas to cash-in?



I'd lock them inside a huge metal cage and let them rip each other apart until one man stands triumphant.



Well, that's exactly what will happen at Body Count. Presuming, of course, that you can first navigate past Jeff Clark.



Ah, Jeff. A guy that's been asking to get his ass kicked almost as much as Ted-O.



Well at Melee - and then at Body Count - it'll be another case of ask and you shall receive!

[Avenger]

Is he back already?

For crying out loud...






YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!!



This crowd are not exactly warming to Avenger tonight.







And I'll begin, shall I?



I've dealt with Terminator already, and I think he showed the whole world just how deluded he is through our last exchange.



I've lost count of how many times he's threatened to "render me unconscious". But after the last time, let's just leave it at that and see what happens at Melee. Huh?



He cost me something very valuable -- and he will pay.





But right now I would like to address Thunder.



Now I'm sure we've all heard Thunderdome harping on about his upcoming match with Seymour. And once again in his attempt to make everyone righteous and honest and just downright good-gosh-golly nice people -- he has come off look like a complete... dweeb.



Now is this... dweeb... really the kind of man that MAW want representing them as World Heavyweight Champion? I mean, it's not going to happen -- but I have one hell of a problem with Thunder even being in this tournament.



In every exchange that I have had with that bald bastard - I have come out on top. I went into that match as the most recent Anarchy Champion... fighting to retain my title.



In this very ring... lying right here on this mat at Beach Party Massacre, I left Thunder lying here like a piece of meat. A shell of his former self. I smashed his skull and I did my very best to take him out of competition for good... clearly I didn't try hard enough.



And if it wasn't for the fact that I was screwed out of the belt... I would be standing here as a two time Anarchy Champion.



Now I challenge anyone to tell me what the hell Thunder has done in this past few months that merits him getting a place in that tournament?! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!



It should be my name up in lights at ForumMania. I should be one of the six men challenging for the World Heavyweight Title.



This all makes one thing very clear. I need to take Thunder out more than ever. I knew this would happen. I told myself... I told all of you... Thunder is my obstacle. Thunder is my banana skin. Thunder is my glass ceiling.



The powers-that-be at MAW present their own obstacles but to get into that main event, to be picked for these tournaments... I need to give them no choice, no alternative -- I need to remove Thunder from the equation.



So when I'm done with Terminator... I can assure you all - I will not forget any of this. I will not forget being overlooked once more.



I WILL FINISH THUNDER OFF, ONCE AND FOR ALL.



And I will be your World... Heavyweight... Champion.

[Innovator]

Just to make my colleague insanely jealous, here I am with Ted O'Donnell, MAW World Heavyweight Champion.



Ted what are your thoughts on all of the recent comments against you, by Tyler Frost and Danny Electric?





You see the funny thing is, Roger, is that I'm not running some huge bill...



I'm merely collecting on defaults.



Daniel wants to think he's still the rightful Champion, and by all means he can think that way...



Down here in the real world, the Champ stands before you.



I only hope he makes it into the Chamber at Body Count...



That way I can collect on him, again...



And this time see to it he won't be able to open his mouth ever again.



I guess you could say his jaw would be shattered.





As for Tyler Frost, I've already said the kid is in way over his head, and he keeps proving me right.



I really don't want to be the one to cause him to hang himself via extra underwear.



But that might happen after he embarrasses himself, the FrostyNation, his heritage, and his home state, on the biggest stage ever: being in the ring with me.



Even the coldest snow melts under the bright lights. That's what will happen, Tyler.



You will melt, maybe not because of the lights of MAW...but under the brightest star the world has even seen.



Ted O'Donnell, the World Heavyweight Champion.

[Avenger]

...

[Corndad]

Oh Avenger you silly goose you. Gee Golly Cheese Whiz.



That darn management. Putting me in the World Title Tournament. How dare they. They are such meanies.



Dude, you need to get over yourself. Seriously. You have to go home and just look at yourself in the mirror and smile, don't you?



Avenger, you didn't get the job done. You just didn't. True that match wasn't my shining moment but your acting like you dominated it. Really?



Langston was the better man that night. Once you realize this and move on the better. I've learned in the past, the more you linger on things the more it affects you.



I mean I could look at this Tournament chance in a completely different way. Think about it. I still owe Ted O'Donnell a favor. Look what happened to Triz. I could win the whole thing only to have him ask me to lay down for him when I do get a shot.



The one thing I never swore I would do again. Lose a chance at the World Title because I laid down. I am a man of my word and would have to do that. I need to not think that way. I need to use my next match as an opportunity.



What I'm trying to get at is this... Don't look past Terminator. Don't think it will be easy. Prove it in that ring. Earn what I think you crave for the most and don't have at this moment. Respect.



We have unfinished issues. I know this. Our paths will cross. I will make sure of it but you sir need to concentrate on the opportunity in front of you.



This "Dweeb" as you so eloquently called me has an ass kicking all ready for you when you finish that business.



I am your glass ceiling.



One that will shatter all over you...



That is if you get through Terminator first...

[Afterlife]

So, It kinda looks like Danny Electric is mad at me, mad at me.



Well, I suppose I can understand that, understand that.



In fact, I'll go ahead and assume that Danny would like an apology, apology...



...So, sorry, sorry.



Now, I was stabbed through the larynx by a certain deranged...woman...so, until it's fully healed, I'm not going to talk any more than I have to, have to...



...Which, as you so cleverly pointed out, I already do, already do.



So, if he's just going to be snippy about it, I'm not going to waste my energy, my energy.



But, before I go, I'll give you a question to get you started, get you started:



Why is Double Talk in a qualifying match for Body Count, Body Count?





Let's see what kind of answers you come up with, come up with.

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

What are you doing, Slater?



What is that on your hand?



There is no Slater here. I am Count Grumblebush.



...



You seem to be too busy worrying about murderers.



When you should be worried about the game of Gauntlet you have this week.



I am fully aware that I have a match against you-... against Slater.



But do you have as many rune stones as Slater?



Probably not.



I really should sue you for impersonating an interviewer, but I'm in a good mood right now.





See?



At the risk of sounding like a blond homeless man, some things are more important than championships.



Bobby Beamer is a murdering bastard, and I will stop at nothing to see that the families of Damian Phoenix and Doctor Fly see justice done.



But don't worry, I have Fix working on "Operation: Fire Bobby" this week, so I will be completely focused on my title defence.



Stop that.

[Nowhere Man]

SPOILER: show

Haha, you're gonna get your face kicked in!









Here you go. Am I ever going to be allowed to do something besides just hand you your microphone?

But you're so good at it.



Wow, everybody, joke's on me, huh?



I got kicked out of Beach Party Massacre, and now Rampage is going to kick me in the face!



Boy, I sure am getting what's coming to me now, aren't I? Isn't that just fantastic!









Well, guess what.



Even barred from the arena and kept off of the show, I still managed to put my own personal stamp on the two biggest matches on the card.



I still managed to undermine Golden Flake with the announcement of the Body Count Elimination Chamber match, completely leaving his little loony luau in the dust.



I still managed to prove that I am ten times the GM that Orrin T. Quoyle could ever be!!!



But hey, the greatness of a man in power isn't measured in what he's done......



....but what he's going to do.



And what's Sonny going to do next? What's he going to do in order to bounce back from being booted in the mush and humiliated on live TV in front of millions?



Well, if I told you, it would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?



Let's just say that the fair-minded, even-tempered, merciful and easy-going Sonny that you've all known and loved for so long isn't going to stick around for much longer.



A little-known secret that I'm gonna share with you: I didn't get to where I am today by hard work and smart business decisions.



I got where I am by being a vicious, underhanded, petty, cut-throat, vindictive, backstabbing, slimy son of a bitch.



And since we're setting off on the Road to Mania, I think it's high time you all get a real taste of how much of a bastard I can really be.



So enjoy the one night that I get knocked down a peg. I really mean it. Savor it and swirl it around in your mouth and get as much enjoyment out of it as you possibly can.



Because as of Melee, the gloves are coming off.

[Afterlife]

I say, Miss Swindlehauser! I'm so glad I found you!



Has Mr. MacBane returned our calls yet?

I'm afraid not, Mr. Quoyle. But, it doesn't sound like he's talking to many people at all, right now.



Curses! And Mr. Electric wrote me a decidedly irate letter denying his voluntary cooperation for the meeting I requested.

Shall we move ahead without them?



Well, we certainly can't work with them if they won't work with us...but we daren't move ahead just yet.



If Sonny is as serious as he alluded, we cannot be hasty in our decision. His venomous intentions reach far beyond his physical limitations: we know that, now.



And with Mr. O'Donnell tarnishing the value of our World championship...



...It's a very delicate situation in which we find ourselves.



You're right. It's probably useless to fight.

What? I say, woman, don't be daft.



Obviously, we may not win, but if nothing else, it will be amusing.



Plus, I'll always have a billion dollars, so who cares?

Excellent point, sir.



Don't fret, Olivia, we can still make this work. I just need you to trust me...



...and make one more phone call.

[Graveler]

Wes, you successfully defeated Rodney Oculus and now have control of him for three weeks. You must feel on top of the world.



You would think that? After all I defeated a member of the House.



But that exchange with Rodney left me a little disappointed.



I've never seen someone as beaten down as this kid. To live with the curse of his visions and the abuse of his fellow members of the House.



He has all the potential to be the biggest star of MAW, but he chooses to take crap from those schmucks in the House. It's disheartening.



That's understandable, but you also paired with him to face Langston English & Supermax. Any thoughts?



As far as I'm concerned, they aren't the issue in my eyes. One can't talk and the other is so bland that even natural water is more interesting than him.



I got more important things to deal with. Like saving a young man from himself and that ain't no joke.

[MVP]

Has losing the World Title distracted me going into Melee?



Of course not. I have all the confidence in the world after carrying Trixie Smith in the greatest match of his career.



See, I have a killer instinct in me.



Not the same killer instinct that Bobby Beamer has though. I always knew that guy was a little unstable when we were in the Rebel Alliance.



But I never thought he'd resort to deliberately murdering people who stood in his way.



I'll admit that I've done a lot of things that I'm not proud of throughout my career, but I've never killed a man to get ahead.



And I have a pretty good recollection of all of my matches... although my brief stint in GCW is kind of a blur.



If Bobby thinks he's gonna pull a fast one and make The Living Legend, The Dead Legend, he's got another thing coming.



Because I'm gonna make quick work of him so I can focus on the Elimination Chamber match and take back what Teddy-O stole from me.



And Bobby Beamer will never kill anyone... ever... again.

39% of fans agree that Killer Instinct is their all-time favorite fighting game.

[Savior]

Tucker: This is Big Indian! he is going to make is dark match debut in just a few moments



Class: I hear he is indestructible!



*Suddenly a wild puddle appears!*



Newbies: OH MY LETS GET HELP!



BI: MY KNEE! MY KNEE!



Colin: Look at this, another accident in this unsafe working environment known as TNA. That puddle didn't just appear, its been there for hours, I've been watching it. Sure I could have cleaned it up but I wanted to use it to prove a point.



No one in TNA cares about safety in TNA except us in P.A.I.N. and from this day forward there will be no more puddles.....Except a puddle of Job Conquests blood.....Which will get the match called off......because he has Hep-C

[Legacy]

Rodney, by order of Wes Lang, you are to translate a SuperMax promo.



Bring it on.



Rodnicles journey dress shortcomings. Single double down pantsholder Peter Pan deja vu.





Rodney looks good in a short dress. I like when he takes his pants down and watches a Peter Pan marathon.



Black writing male genitalia.



SuperMax y LangyWangy scarlet sad snow Jewish chicken horse.





I like black men. Langston and I are the product of crossbreeding on Noah's ark.



Brainstored.



Hotrod beef molestation or music booking.







The spirits told me this interview is over.

[Fangel]

Might be the most creepy fucking picture I have ever seen.

[Alan The Rapist]

Strange... It sounded like MVP said he carried me through our match.



I can only assume he didn't mean the world title match in which I beat him so thoroughly that he was down and motionless long enough for a six-foot rectum to mosey down the ramp and steal my victory.



But, since that's clearly not what MVP was saying, let's move on to what someone else isn't saying...



Double Talk.



I don't know you.



I don't like you.



And I don't care about you, what you say or what you do!



You wanna play mystery games with Danny? Go right ahead! Waste everybody's time!



But I'm not wasting anything on you, and that inclueds my opportunity to win the World Heavyweight Championship--



--again!



Why do you have a qualifying match on Melee? I can think of only three reasons...



#1, Michael is afraid to face me...



#2, Somebody doesn't like that you're back. Or, #3...



Plain old bad luck!



I hope you've enjoyed your return, Denton. Because it's damn near over.

[loopydate]

I've been doing this a very long time.



I had my debut match in NCW November 25th, 2004.



Eight days later, I was World Champion.



Think about that, I was a champion in less than two weeks.



Long-time loopholes will remember that before my wrestling career, I was a writer. And a damn good one.



...until my girlfriend turned out to be the physical manifestation of Writer's Block.



My career crumbled around my ears and my personal life fell with it.



I fell in love with the most amazing girl, only to have the Horsemen try to claim her, then find out she's the daughter of the biggest megalomaniac in the history of this industry (or any other, really, if you look at the history)...



...that was also the day I found out that my friend's girlfriend gave birth to a baby that turned out to be mine.



But Angie and I got married, and we've raised Bruce to be a hell of a young guy.



The point I'm trying to make--



--and, yes, I do have one--



--is that I have been a wrestler for two thousand seven hundred eight days. And for two thousand seven hundred of those, I've been a champion or former champion.



And I want more!



My life has been anything but easy, particularly lately. But I've overcome worse, and I will overcome worse. In seven-and-a-half years, I won't even remember this promo or this match with James Steele.



But I'll damn sure remember the night I won my fourth World Championship.

[Savior]

Rampage: zzzz.....Hellfire....zzzz....I have a soul....



Nightmare Colin: Hello Ryan, safe dreams! Mwahahahahahahahaha!



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

[Afterlife]

THIS INTERVIEW
BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

LUCKY'S LAST CHANCE
BAR AND GRILL!



Bobby, on Melee you go up against the former World Heavyweight Champion, MVP. What would be your strategy in going up against a competitor of his caliber?



His "calibur"? He won the title immediately after and by way of a screwjob, and then lost it after being thoroughly pulverized.



So you're not concerned?



Oh, I'm concerned! Controversy seems to swarm this guy, lately!



I could beat him, no doubt about that -- but chances are, I won't get a match without a screwball count or a blatant run-in!



Hopefully, I can beat him in record time, before Loki smiles upon him and reigns chaos from Asgard.



Point taken. However, I have to ask: his comments about the recent deaths surrounding you...did they get under your skin?



O.K., first of all? "Recent death". Singular. Damian Phoenix was forever ago.



Secondly, yeah, I'm getting sick and tired of this "murderer" crap.



I got that Fix idiot harassing me, Slater planting dead bodies near my locker room, Methusela literally asking me to end his life, and now MVP acting all holier than thou.



But, hey, who knows? Maybe Parsons has a right to scared. Maybe... this could be Parsons' last match.



Heck, it may just be his last day on Earth! After all, I'm a loose cannon! A live wire!



And, since losing the Gauntlet Title, this match with MVP is my Last Chance to get at the World Heavyweight Championship!! I'm a desperate man!!



And I'm a deadly opponent. Right? So, I guess, maybe, I'm feelin' pretty lucky, after all.



Are you?

[Innovator]

SPOILER: show

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOING DOWN THE HOUSE*









Tucker: Ted is coming to the ring!





Class: I really hope the tightening of your pants isn't a side effect of that.



Tucker: I'm happy.







Well...



So many things to discuss with oh so little time...



I'm not one to embellish, but Triggles did start this ordeal.



I asked him to not get involved when I tried to deal with the Maxwell problem...



But Triple Righteous had to stick his nose in my business.



Ever since then, I've made him my business.



Get that through your thick meathead skull.



I hope you make it into the Chamber, Trismegitops, because then I can pin you for the 2nd time.



Just so you'll beg to be beaten a third time.



Moving onto...





Tyler Frost.



I almost feel bad darkening the spark in your young eye.



Almost.



Nothing you mastered in Alaska can help you on Melee.



So take your cupcake and shove it in your Yeti Snatch.







*Debt Collector sense...tingling*

[Innovator]

SPOILER: show

*SERIOUS ENGAGE*

















Well, Maxy...



I don't know if you forgot...



But we don't like each other.



So why come to the ring on my time?



Supermax enter entertainment circle para vinyl 45 placement straightedge.



Supermax innerheartspeak to apoloonogize to Masked Smallbeing.



Supermax destroyandahmed Masked Smallbeing and DemyDem.



Supermax no closedeyeteenagedream.



Stomach fuel tasty icky.



Supermax was icky with Supermax.



Alls para DemyDem.



Supermax innerheartspeak to make leftie rightie.



You know, Maxipad...



The champ, that's me, doesn't care if you want to make things right with Dementia or Seymour.



But you did just shine light upon a great opportunity for me.



For that, I thank you. You are kinda related to me.



Somehow.



The not eating, not sleeping, hating yourself, goes away with time when you see the end results.



Especially with me, Max, the ends always justifies the means.

[Nowhere Man]

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*



Class: Wow, I'm not sure who the crowd hates more tonight, Ted or Seymour!

Tucker: Whatever it is, he'd better have a damn good explanation for interrupting the champ!



So you wanna "make things right," do you, Max?



After months and months of pining after what was mine and treating me like I wasn't even a factor, after getting involved with my personal business, after finally driving a wedge between Dee and myself that split us up for good, now you want to "make things right?"



Well, I'd hate to break it to you, but by sticking your nose where it didn't belong and forcing me to kick Dee to the curb......



.....you already did make things right



You showed me how much of an unreliable, untrustworthy, unpredictable wreck of a human being that Dee is. You showed me that staying with her was like juggling mason jars full of nitroglycerin: it doesn't matter how careful you are, eventually it's all going to blow up in your face. But most of all?



You showed me that only a moron could love Dementia.





But y'know, you're not the only one who says he's going to set things straight with me.



Thunder says I shouldn't be treating a woman the way I did, no matter how many concussions and massive head wounds she deals out, no matter how many careers she shortens and lives she ruins. That the fact that she has a second X chromosome gives her a free pass to hurt me and everyone around me all she wants, because she's off-limits.



And y'know, I get that he wants to put that whole gender on a pedestal to be a gentleman, or more likely because he never actually dealt with his dead wife and projects his own feelings of guilt and fear of loss onto them. But that's not what bothers me.



What bothers me is that he said I need to show Dementia that I'm "still the old Seymour."



Are.....are you kidding me?



The old Seymour was weak. The old Seymour held himself back, because he was too scared of what people would think of him if he said what was really on his mind or took matters into his own hands. The old Seymour was ignored and laughed at and left to toil in the lower card while scum like Manny Rattum and wastes of breath like Percy were given World Title shots!



I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT! NEVER!!!



No one is going to hold me back! No one is going to shut me down! No one is going to be untouchable, and damn sure no one is 'off-limits' to me anymore! And everyone who says they want me to go back to being the hapless dope with the wool over his eyes? Only does so because they know something they're afraid the world to see:



I AM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU!



Which leads me back to the beginning of this little tirade. Making things right.



You can't make things right for me, Max. Hell, you can't even make a sentence right.



But I can make things right. I can put everything in its right place, make things the way they always should have been. And I intend to do just that.



At Melee, I'm going to show that jarhead Thunder exactly what the reward is for being the 'good guy' in this business.



And then I'm going to finally set things right at Body Count, Ted, when I step into the Elimination Chamber......



.....and step out with that belt around my waist.

[Graveler]

Inno & Nowhere Man, your pics aren't showing up

[Innovator]

Wow, Max, what an asshole.



Seymour, I've been saying this for years, there are no saints in this business.



Only some have honor.



You want more knowledge? There are no fresh starts, lives carry on.



Deep down you still are the hopeless delusional douchebag you always have been.



Just like deep down, I'm the greatest man to grace this business with his presence.



If you make it to Body Count, we'll see what really motivates you.



...and why is he still here?

[Graveler]

You know what Rodney? I've had you spill the secrets of the House, discuss your "psychic" abilities, & translate the ramblings of an idiot.



But despite all of that, I respect you on some level.



When we wrestled at Beach Party Massacre, I felt like I was wrestling a legend in the making.



But when I see you hanging with these clowns in the House, it saddens me to see such wasted potential.



So I need to hear exactly why you associate yourself with the House

[Avenger]

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