10-06-2017, 10:24 PM | #1441 |
Resident drug enabler
Posts: 45,473
|
Not only is that an insanely dumb idea... That is not even close to what "Swiss Cyborg" would sound like with a lisp. Jesus.
|
10-06-2017, 10:27 PM | #1442 |
Posts: 60,996
|
I just have to say: I really fucking hate Eli Drake. I don't know if another personality has ever rubbed me the wrong way as much as he does. He's the perfect example of how you can have mic skills but absolutely no charisma. His catchphrases are not catchy -- they fucking suck. It's annoying he would lampoon his own and think that it's witty. You came up with them and then though of words that rhyme?
Fucking hell, sorry, I just really hate the guy. Actually, it's probably babyface Miz Host of SmackDown bad. It's that completely phony, club promoter, "I think I'm really cool," being loud means you're funny cunt-up of a fucking personality. I would pay money not to watch him. He is an anti-draw to me. |
10-06-2017, 10:29 PM | #1443 |
Posts: 60,996
|
Who is it here that likes him? Simple Fan? Fuck you, Simple Fan. This is one case where you're not allowed to like what you like. He is measles in human form. Fuck anyone that would allow him to spread. Get your kids vaccinated. Turn off on Eli Drake.
|
10-06-2017, 10:36 PM | #1444 |
Posts: 60,996
|
Do we have a thread for wrestlers we just really hate irrationally. I want to ramble more about Eli Drake. Just look at him:
He looks like every insecure dude who hits his 30's, starts losing his hair, so hits the gym and takes cocaine to substitute for a personality. Then he comes off as urgent and needy to women and he can't understand why they won't fuck him because he works so hard at the gym and thinking of pick-up lines. I mean he might genuinely be a sweetheart in real life. Good for him landing a job and whatever. I just fucking hate his guts and I'd cancel any television show he ever appeared on, even if it did have The Rock on it. And I'd burn them in a trash can. Any money he gets paid to be a professional wrestler is money that starving kids in Africa don't see. I want people to remember that when they hear him go "Dummy! Yeah!" five times until it catches on to the mike adamles in Florida that go along to that shit-show that they are supposed to repeat this crap too. Fuck Eli Drake and fuck everyone that has ever invited him to a party so he thinks he's cool. |
10-06-2017, 10:40 PM | #1445 |
Posts: 60,996
|
Eli Drake is like bad Alex Riley. And I have accepted that Alex Riley was not good. I was wrong about that. But give me A-Ry until I'm neck-deep in the Pacific Ocean's rising levels than five minutes of Eli Drake being the absolutely worst personality ever. I'd rather smear Vegemite on my balls until the yeast starts to burn through my actual testes, leaving me infertile and smelling like a lunchbox than know he is going to be on a show in the same town as me. The knowledge that he is there would ruin my life.
Am I making it clear how much I do not like Eli Drake? |
10-06-2017, 10:42 PM | #1446 |
Resident drug enabler
Posts: 45,473
|
Goddamn. Tell us how you really feel, Noid.
|
10-06-2017, 11:57 PM | #1447 |
King of Love and Piss
Posts: 62,989
|
Noid's girlfriend was obviously fucked by Eli Drake.
|
10-07-2017, 01:13 AM | #1448 |
Loque Ja
Posts: 88,005
|
I have literally never heard of Eli Drake before now.
|
10-07-2017, 02:09 AM | #1449 |
Posts: 52,478
|
Who was better
Eli Drake Eli Cottonwood Eli Blu |
10-07-2017, 03:08 AM | #1450 |
Posts: 60,996
|
|
10-07-2017, 03:09 AM | #1451 |
Posts: 60,996
|
Holy shit, what a selection. Has there ever been a good wrestler with the same "Eli?" Might make for an interesting discussion: Worst wrestling name. Like, statistically, which names generate shitty wrestlers and which ones generate good wrestlers. I imagine that "Chris" is probably the best wrestling name.
Eli Cottonwood had the most potential by the way. |
10-07-2017, 03:18 AM | #1452 |
Resident drug enabler
Posts: 45,473
|
I'm just gonna throw this out there...
I've seen very little of Eli Drake but based on what I have seen... He's WAY more entertaining than most of the TNA/Impact/GFW roster. |
10-07-2017, 03:26 AM | #1453 |
Resident drug enabler
Posts: 45,473
|
Guy seems like a natural |
10-07-2017, 03:33 AM | #1454 |
Posts: 60,996
|
I'm not acknowledging your attempts to bait me, #1-wwf-fan.
|
10-07-2017, 03:33 AM | #1455 |
Posts: 60,996
|
Ken Anderson is less annoying than Eli Drake. Ken fucking Anderson.
|
10-07-2017, 03:35 AM | #1456 |
Posts: 60,996
|
Although, to find truth in your statement, most of the TNA/GFW/Impact roster does probably suck a big one. Most people got a clue that they're better off working for an indy that they can get plucked by the WWE from. Every left are either no-hopers or guys with histories of domestic violence.
|
10-07-2017, 03:43 AM | #1457 |
Resident drug enabler
Posts: 45,473
|
Ken Anderson? As in Mr. Anderson??? As in Mr. Kennedy!?!?!?!
Alright, now we're definitely at an impass. Mr. Anderson was fucking great. |
10-07-2017, 03:47 AM | #1458 |
Posts: 60,996
|
For a while. I was his first Fanderson on here. But then it turned out he was the problem.
|
10-07-2017, 03:47 AM | #1459 |
Posts: 60,996
|
I'm not going to lie and say I always hated the guy though. I fell for the act for a long while.
|
10-07-2017, 04:00 AM | #1460 |
Resident drug enabler
Posts: 45,473
|
He got by on his over-the-top personality. Which is the same vibe I get from Drake to a lesser extent. The guy is comfortable and cocky when he talks in a way that isn't all that common nowadays. I can't see people just kinda not caring for him but for someone to HATE him with such passion, especially considering the boring-as-fuck personalities we get up and down the line in wrestling nowadays, seems... odd.
|
10-07-2017, 04:08 AM | #1461 |
Resident drug enabler
Posts: 45,473
|
I WISH more guys could pull off a cocky heel promo like this. |
10-07-2017, 04:53 AM | #1462 |
Posts: 60,996
|
I'm not watching it. I was exposed to an Eli Drake promo once and it scarred me for life. "Dummy! Yeah! Dummy! Yeah!" What the fuck does that even mean? Fuck him. TNA is going down the drain exclusively because of him.
|
10-07-2017, 05:28 AM | #1463 |
Posts: 60,996
|
Anyway, that is more anyone has ever talked about Eli Drake in his life, and more than they should. Let's change subject: You know who I wouldn't mind WWE bringing back from that dumpster fire that is TNA? Bobby Lashley. They were pushing him way too hard and there was some resistance to accepting him. But he would no doubt be a lot better now, and have a lot more of an organic personality, surely.
I'd accept Bobby Lashley as my WWE Champion. |
10-08-2017, 01:44 AM | #1464 |
3 Dicks Out For Trips
Posts: 29,688
|
Noid has a secret man crush on Eli Drake and is feigning hatred to try and subside his true feelings.
|
10-08-2017, 02:26 AM | #1465 |
Posts: 60,996
|
That's not true at all. If I develop a man crush on someone I will admit it like a man. Eli Drake couldn't pay for my time if I needed the money for a life-saving operation.
|
10-08-2017, 04:35 PM | #1466 | |
King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
|
Quote:
Seems pretty generic to me. |
|
10-08-2017, 04:36 PM | #1467 |
King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
|
Actually, it was like he was just trying to be Ric Flair and failing.
|
10-08-2017, 04:42 PM | #1468 |
Loque Ja
Posts: 88,005
|
I got trying to be Bobby Roode trying to be Ric Flair.
Also, wow.... light/neon green ropes are hideous....... Also I see Chris Masters is there too now....... |
10-08-2017, 04:43 PM | #1469 |
King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
|
I was actually originally going to say "Triple H trying to be Ric Flair" but I just went with "Ric Flair".
|
10-08-2017, 04:44 PM | #1470 |
Loque Ja
Posts: 88,005
|
Trying to be Bobby Roode trying to be Triple H trying to be Ric Flair
|
10-08-2017, 04:51 PM | #1471 |
King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
|
I look forward to the day when we see someone trying to be Eli Drake trying to be Bobby Roode trying to be Triple H trying to be Ric Flair.
|
10-08-2017, 05:06 PM | #1472 | |
Resident drug enabler
Posts: 45,473
|
Quote:
Point is, he seems more comfortable than most on the mic. Like... the worst you would expect of a reaction toward the guy is "Meh. Not a fan." Not "I want him to die a slow death." |
|
10-08-2017, 07:55 PM | #1473 |
Celestia's Left Hand
Posts: 17,359
|
|
10-09-2017, 01:02 AM | #1474 | |
Posts: 60,996
|
Quote:
I'm actually not game to watch those videos. I believed someone who said he was a good promo, and it was absolutely obnoxious (and not in the good way) catchphrases that didn't mean anything. I can see what you mean about The Rock thing, because I remember thinking that it was like they got this guy who was on this show hosted by The Rock and told him to act like Rock, but he has none of the charisma that makes The Rock The Rock. If he's doing Bobby Roode doing Triple H doing Ric Flair now, more power to him. At least he's not trying to be the most charismatic man on the planet anymore. I mean, I get your appreciation for someone trying, but it's fucking gross. He should try and actually promo to get a point across before he tries and acts like some larger than life personality he can't live up to. I remember him trying to wrestle like The Rock too. It was fucking hilarious. If Abyss is their like Asylum Films parody of Kane, and Eric Young was their Asylum Films parody of Daniel Bryan, then Eli Drake is their Asylum Films parody of The Rock. |
|
10-09-2017, 06:29 PM | #1475 |
King of Love and Piss
Posts: 62,989
|
|
10-09-2017, 06:47 PM | #1476 |
Let me talk to ya
Posts: 11,749
|
Let me talk to ya. Eli Drake is awsome. Has all the confidence that a pro wrestler should. Love those catch phrases and even have his dummy button app.
|
10-09-2017, 07:01 PM | #1477 |
Let me talk to ya
Posts: 11,749
|
Sorry Noid but he's really my favorite wrestler right now. I mean he's a heel and your not supposed to like him so I guess he's doing something right. Although I believe you are stuck on one promo you heard from the guy when he was on his Dummy button. Has come a ways since then but that was still entertaining stuff. Damn though man, you are really passionate about wrestling and I'd love for you to find something that fits your taste.
|
10-09-2017, 07:50 PM | #1478 |
Posts: 60,996
|
I admire your moxie, and I'm glad you get enjoyment out of Eli Drake. I don't though. He doesn't get a good reaction out of me. I will go out of my way to avoid whatever show he is on.
|
10-09-2017, 08:42 PM | #1479 |
Let me talk to ya
Posts: 11,749
|
More power to you, you're not the only one not watching Impact. I doubt Eli Drake is the reason most people don't watch though. He just commands attention and I think that is one of the best qualities a pro wrestler can have. His catchphrases may be cheap and low brow but its better than alot of scripted stuff I see in WWE every week.
|
10-09-2017, 09:32 PM | #1480 |
Let me talk to ya
Posts: 11,749
|
By the way I recommend the Eli Drake Dummy Button app. You get the Dummy Yeah button plus other catchphrases and access to fis social media and merchandise of course. It's .99¢ though but can be very entertaining at times.
|