|07-07-2005, 02:39 AM||#2|
Havok injury update.
A pre-taped interview airs.
JG: So Havok, how’s the neck?
Havok: Well it ain’t good. The doctors say I’ve completely shattered the C6 and C7 vertebrae. They’re gonna try a revolutionary new surgery on me, and I hope to be back in the ring in a matter of months… But there’s somebody I want to address… Outsider! Over the next few months, your mocking will be eating my soul and tormenting my very being… So get ready, because when I come back… YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!
Match 3: Corkscrewed/The Ravishing One vs Shaggy/?????
The crowd boo as 2 of the Horsemen appear.
Corky and TRO take their place in the ring, awaiting their opponents.
The crowd cheer for Shaggy as he comes down to the ring.
He stares back down the ramp, wondering who his mystery partner will be…
The crowd look confused.
JG: Zis must be zome kind of joke!
Naitch struts down to the ring, as Shaggy looks on in confusion. TRO wastes no time and nails Shaggy from behind…
Before tossing him out of the ring.
Corky slides out after him, before picking him up and whipping the helpless Shaggy into the steel steps.
Corky and Naitch pick up Shaggy and roll him back into the ring, where TRO picks him up.
He holds him in place for Naitch, who delivers a brutal low blow.
Shaggy falls down to the ropes.
Corky picks up Shaggy and lifts him onto his shoulders.
Before nailing the Vortex!
The Horsemen stand over Shaggy, and all 3 raise their arms in celebration. The crowd boo loudly as the trio make their way to the back, leaving the beaten Shaggy in a heap in the middle of the ring.
The camera cuts to a local hospital.
Doctor: Miss Ilt… The baby will not be coming this week. You can get off the bed now.
Ilt: Look what the damn bed did to my hair!
Slim: Don’t worry, Herbal Essence will make it all better baby.
Doctor: I expect the baby will come sometime next week. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it happened during next week’s Nitro.
Slim: Wouldn’t that be a coincidence.
Match 4: Hardcore Title: Slim (c) vs Fat Doug Mendoza.
The crowd give a good reaction as they hear Fat Doug Mendoza’s theme song.
You can’t eat me...
But I can eat you!!!
Fat Doug appears on the ramp.
Fat Doug is now in the ring.
His theme song slowly fades and Yeah by Usher hits.
The crowd explode for the Hardcore Champ.
The cheers do not tone down a bit as Slim climbs the second turnbuckle and poses with his belt.
Fat Doug immediately goes on the attack. He tries to clothesline Slim, but the Hardcore Champ dodges him and retaliates with a kick to the belly.
Crowd: No-Sell! No-Sell!
Fat Doug bounces out of the ring.
He looks under the apron for a weapon. Slim looks on, curious.
JG: Vot ze Hell? A BED?!
Fat Doug places the bed in the ring, goes outside to grab a microphone, and gets back in the ring. He sits on the bed and starts singing.
Fat Doug: Hand me those nachos bayyyyyyyyyyyyyy-bay!
Slim, not wanting to hear Doug’s horrible singing for one more second, hurries out of the ring.
Doug is not happy.
Crowd: ZOMBIE FACE!
Fat Doug shoves the bed out of the ring and throws the microphone into the audience.
Random fan: Ow!
|07-07-2005, 02:39 AM||#3|
Fat Doug tells Slim to ‘bring it on!’. The Hardcore champs slides back into the ring and throws a high kick straight on Doug’s face. The challenger no-sells the kick. Slim kicks him in the legs, but Doug hardly moves, looking at something in the crowd. Slim looks to see what his opponent has been staring at.
Slim hits another kick in Doug’s back.
The big man finally looks away from the food. Remembering he’s in a match, he turns around. Slim kicks him in the face once more, causing Fat Doug to fall and roll out of the ring. He turns at the crowd again.
Qui-Gon Jinn (backstage):
Slim, who has seen enough, runs and jumps over the top rope, only to land on Doug’s shoulders.
Slim begins to hammer on Doug’s head. The giant realises that there is someone on his shoulders, and motivated by hunger, he tries to take a bite of Slim’s leg.
Slim pokes Doug in the eye and gets off his back in a hurry. The Hardcore Champ kneels to find a weapon under the ring, but with Fat Doug trying to step on him, he rolls under the apron.
JG: Slim hast gone under ze ring!
Himmler: Look at Mendoza!
Qui-Gon Jinn (backstage):
Fat Doug looks at the nachos, but doesn’t eat them.
Fat Doug: ...........
He throws the nachos away.
Crowd: HOLY S##T! HOLY S##T!
Fat Doug, having to wait until after the match to eat, goes on a rampage. He takes a random cameraman and throws him in the crowd, then looks for Slim to take out his frustrations on. He looks under the ring.
Slim, who had been waiting for this, smacks a chair on Doug’s face and runs back to the inside of the ring.
JG: Now Doug ist REALLY angry!
Himmler: Vait... Vot does Slim have zere?
JG: A... Cake?
Fat Doug enters the ring and looks at the cake.
Slim slams the cake over his head. Fat Doug collapses, causing the ring to shake and nearly explode into pieces.
Slim covers Fat Doug Mendoza...
*DING DING DING*
Slim grabs the cake and shows everybody the steel pipe that was hidden inside.
JG: Fat Doug’s passion for food cost him ze match.... Again!
The Champ poses, as the camera cuts away from the arena.
Result: Slim Wins via Pinfall.
One Night In Owen: Part 3: Co-Starring Splaya.
The camera cuts backstage.
Owen: Slimmy, you certainly changed quickly after your match. I am impressed… Almost as impressed as Paul was when I penetrated his… ‘Wall’.
Slim: Look man, I want you to do whatever it takes to make sure Splaya is never the same again. I want you to violate him the same way you did Paul, and the same way you tried to get me. I want you to stay up aaaaall night, you dig?
Owen: Oh Slimmy, I dig.
Slim walks away, leaving Owen to find Splaya’s locker room.
The camera then cuts to where Splaya and Corky are talking.
Splaya: You know I can’t believe TRO is getting married tonight.
Corky: Well just make sure WB is the only one getting it in the ass tonight.
Splaya: Don’t worry man, I got it all under control.
A woman walks in.
Corky: Whoa check that ass.
Splaya: Damn she’s hot!
The woman turns around…
Owen: Good evening Splaya. It is I, your date for this evening.
Corky: Hey gimme back my belt you sicko.
Corky grabs the belt.
Corky: I’m outta here. Good luck dude.
Owen: Thank you Corkscrewed, but I won’t need lu…
Corky: Not you! I was talking to Splaya.
Corky barges out of the room, leaving the 2 lovebirds alone.
Owen: Well Splaya, it is time for our date. We should get moving, we don’t want to be late. I booked the most romantic table, so feel free to serenade me.
Splaya: Hey get off me. Let me get one thing straight right now… No touching!
Owen: Not even during our passionate escapades late into the night?
Splaya: You’re sick, you know that right?
Splaya: Come on, let’s get this date over with.
Both men walk out of the door, and make their way to the arena exit as a taxi pulls up outside.
They climb in, and the camera follows the taxi down the street to a restaurant.
Splaya pays the driver, as Owen pulls him into the restaurant.
Splaya: Look man, I said no touching!
Owen: Playing hard to get I see… I like that.
Owen: Here, take my coat.
Splaya grabs Owen’s coat.
Owen: I’ll get us some drinks.
Splaya begins to complain, but then smirks and allows Owen to get the drinks.
Owen: *whispers* Time for some fun. *whispers*
Owen orders a couple of drinks, and then a side dish of nachos. As the bartender’s back is turned, Owen pulls out a bottle.
Owen: Splaya’s ass is going to be a delight.
Owen drops a couple of the elephant viagra pills into his drink, before injecting a clear liquid into the other drink.
Owen takes the drinks, and the nachos, back to the table.
Splaya: Hey man you only got cheese nachos? I wanted bacon flavour.
Owen rolls his eyes and heads back to the bar, leaving the drinks behind.
Splaya: Let’s see what this does for your sweet tooth.
Splaya switches the drinks around, just before Owen returns to the table.
Owen: You will NOT believe it. They only serve cheese flavour.
Splaya: Don’t worry about it man, just sit down and have a drink.
Owen smiles and takes a seat, slowly sipping his drink.
Owen: Come on now Splaya, bottoms up.
Splaya smiles as he downs his drink.
Owen: That was wonderful… But I’m not really in the mood for food… My appetite is for something else entirely.
Splaya: Good idea… I’m not really hungry either.
Owen: I rented the apartment right above the restaurant for the night… What do you say we head up there?
Splaya: That’s a great idea.
Owen starts to fade, and eventually falls unconscious in his chair.
Splaya: Take that, bitch! Now let’s get you upstairs where I can tie you up and leave you there to rot!
Splaya drags Owen out of the restaurant and up the stairs. He finds the room, and takes the key out of Owen’s pocket to open the door.
Splaya tosses Owen down onto the bed, and looks at him.
Splaya: WHAT THE F##K?!
Splaya looks down as he senses activity in the trouser department.
Splaya: But I’m not even gay…
Splaya stares at the elephant-sized bulge.
Splaya: But I guess just once couldn’t hurt.
Splaya shuts the door, and approaches the unconscious Owen.
|07-07-2005, 02:39 AM||#4|
During the break, a commercial airs for the ‘Bash At The Bulge’ PPV.
Main Event: LPD/Seymour/Marcyo/Cool King vs J Dogg/Adrian Moore/Hurri-Pimp/Remy.
The crowd boo as the as yet unnamed stable of rebels make their way down to the ring.
All 4 men look at the crowd with anger in their eyes.
The atmosphere changes, as the crowd blow the roof off the arena.
The MIC quickly enter the ring, as the other team flee to the outside. The referee orders 3 MIC members out of the ring, and Marcyo elects to get the match started with Adrian Moore.
Marcyo looks at the opposite team, trying to think of a plan to take down Moore. Marcyo dodges a clothesline and slaps Moore in the back of the head. Moore looks dazed at first, but the confusion quickly turns to anger and he takes Marcyo down with a quick elbow to the face. He turns and taunts the MIC, causing Lou P. Daight to try and enter the ring, but the referee stops him from doing so. Marcyo hits a blatant low blow on Moore as the ref has his back turned and locks in a submission.
Moore refuses to tap and gets to his feet, causing Marcyo to run in the opposite direction, accidentally knocking J Dogg off the apron.
Marcyo runs at Moore and attempts to dropkick his knee, but Moore dodges him and tags in the Hurri-Pimp. He runs at Marcyo and hits an easy clothesline.
The Hurri-Pimp gets Marcyo back up and after a quick Hurri-Stab in the eye, and rolls him up…
Marcyo kicks out!
Marcyo runs to the other side of the ring, but Hurri-Pimp trips him.
Marcyo gets back up and kicks Hurri-Pimp in the midsection, before nailing a suplex.
He then runs to his team and tags in Seymour before collapsing.
Seymour hits a quick kick to the head followed by an amazing roll-up.
Hurri-Pimp kicks out!
Hurri-Pimp gets to his feet, but Remy begs him to tag him in.
Hurri-Pimp tags him. Remy’s eyes fill with anger, and he charges at Seymour. Remy misses with a crazy kick attempt.
JG: How ze heck did Seymour get up there?
Terrance (backstage): Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Seymour rolls down into a pinning combination…
Remy kicks out!
Seymour jumps up and quickly tags in LPD, as Remy manages to tag in J Dogg. Both men charge at each other, and J Dogg is immediately…
JG: Zrown for a LOOP!
LPD pulls back, but the move is broken up by Adrian Moore. LPD gets up to his knees, and begins Loopin’ Up as Moore nails right hands. LPD makes his way to the corner…
Where he nails the…
Crowd: ANGRY FACE!!!
Moore ducks out of the path of the move, but J Dogg is sent flying out of the ring.
All 8 men pile into the ring and engage in a huge brawl.
Himmler: Ze referee hast lost control of ze metch!
Hurri-Pimp launches himself off the top rope.
He lands on Seymour, bundling both men out of the ring.
Back in the ring, Marcyo legally tags himself in from the apron. Adrian Moore clotheslines Cool King over the top rope, but flies over with him.
Remy knocks LPD down, before hopping up to the top rope.
He launches himself into the middle of the ring, but Lou rolls out of the way. Both men slowly get to their feet and engage in a fist fight, which eventually spills through the ropes to the outside. Marcyo and J Dogg, the 2 legal men, exchange right hands in the middle of the ring. Out of nowhere, J Dogg rolls up Marcyo…
J Dogg grabs the ropes…
Marcyo kicks out!
J Dogg pulls Marcyo up, but is rolled up by the Mexican.
Marcyo gets his feet on the ropes…
*DING DING DING*
Marcyo quickly gets his feet off the ropes before the referee can spot it, as J Dogg goes into a frenzy in the corner.
He slides out of the ring, where he lays out LPD on the ramp.
He then grabs a steel chair from under the ring.
Dogg rolls into the ring and smashes Marcyo across the skull with the chair.
Adrian Moore whips Seymour into the steps on the outside, while Remy beats down Cool King on the floor.
Adrian rolls into the ring, where he poses.
The crowd boo as the MIC lie beaten in and around the ring.
Result: Misfits In Caption Win via Pinfall.
|07-07-2005, 02:40 AM||#5|
The Ravishing One & Writer’s Block: The Wedding.
After a short commercial break, the show comes back on as the wedding is ready to begin.
The crowd boo as the groom makes his way down to the ring.
He waits in the ring, as the wedding march begins to play.
The priest beckons TRO and WB closer to him, and begins the ceremony.
Priest: We are gathered here today, to celebrate the union of 2 people… The Ravishing One and Writer’s Block. I understand that each of you has prepared your own vows, *cough* how original *cough*, so Wri you may go first.
WB: I’m not really one for speeches… For some reason I can never think of the right thing to say. But please, know that this comes straight from the heart.
WB: TRO, from the moment I saw you, I knew you were the man for me. Big, handsome, rich… Everything I looked for in Lou, but never found. Sure he’s tall, but in the bedroom he comes up just a little… Short!
WB: And handsome? Gimme a break, Lou’s horse face could wake the dead. If I wanted someone who could do that… I would’ve married Terrance.
WB: And finally, rich… Sure Lou has money, but he doesn’t bring in the kind of cold hard cash that the Horsemen do. Rolex endorsements, multi-million dollar appearance fees… Lou just can’t compete with that. But with all that said, none of this would matter if I wasn’t truly and deeply in love with you TRO.
WB: And because of this, I vow to love you and cherish you forever, until death do us part… Or until the steroids cause enough shrinkage that you can’t satisfy me anymore.
Priest: TRO, you may now make your vows.
TRO: WB, this has all happened so fast. When you decided you wanted to marry me, my first thought was ‘What about all the women out there in the world who love to be ravished, by The Ravishing One?’
TRO: But then I realised, none of us guys have any chance with women out there in the world anymore. Ever since Corky became the world’s number one bachelor, no woman will look twice at another man. But you, Wri, you’re different. You love me like I love the Naitch promoing for me. You love me like Splaya loves posing for gay magazines. You love me like Wils’n loves being a retarded piece of shit. And you know what… I love you too.
Priest: Do you have the ring?
TRO smiles and slips the ring onto WB’s finger.
Priest: If anyone knows of all reason why these 2 should not be joined in holy matrimony… Speak now, or forever hold your piece… I mean peace.
JG: Vot ist zis?
TRO and WB smile as Corky enters the ring.
Corky grabs a mic.
Corky: Look man, I don’t mean to interrupt you like this… But there’s one thing missing from this wedding… A BEST MAN!
TRO: You know somethin’, you’re right… This all happened so fast it totally slipped my mind… Corky, will you be my best man?
Before grabbing a bunch of flowers.
Himmler: Corky ist ze best man!
Corky takes out TRO!
JG: MEIN GOTT!
Himmler: Corky, vot are you doing?!
JG: NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!
Crowd: HOLY S##T! HOLY S##T!
Corky: You think I forgot what happened at Auschwitz?! I beat you fair and square! And if it wasn’t for you blasting me with the sledgehammer, I would be the NEW World Heavyweight Champion!
Naitch: Look at you man, you used to be great. It saddens me, TRO, to see what you have become… A JOKE! You used to be THE MAN, but now… You’re not even A MAN! You can’t even promo for yourself, and know know what?! I’m sick of carrying your ass from show to show! As of right now, The Ravishing One is hereby excommunicated from the NWA Horsemen!
The crowd are stunned, as the show goes off the air.
|07-07-2005, 06:34 AM||#9|
Yipee Kai Yay!!!
Wow good show....
I got the crap beat out of me...
TRO kicked out of The Horsemen...
Splaya has a gay moment...
One of the funniest pics ever.....atleast I think its pretty funny looking
Good show...Was very surprised to see it up already. Guess I lost track during the week or something.
|07-07-2005, 03:56 PM||#15|
leaen to goosfraba
Good show, Jabba.
I was completely ed at the finish. I honestly did not see that coming. So, I guess my dream of a three-way War Games match between the Horsemen, the MIC, and Old-School NCW will never come to fruition.
Ah, well. Enough of that. Time for the real wedding!
|07-07-2005, 04:04 PM||#16|
|07-07-2005, 04:08 PM||#17|
OLY SHIT!!! I did NOT expect that to happen!
On the other hand, this makes me look SUPER cool for taking out the LEGENDARY TRO. Thanks for the rub, Jabba. And thanks to TRO I guess. Too bad it didn't last.
This came up fast. I didn't think you'd actually post it today. Guess I've been used to the recent slower pace.
Amazing show, Jabba! One of your best Nitros in a while!
|07-07-2005, 04:17 PM||#19|
Is Not Impressed
Seymour,Marcyo,LPD,Moore,J Dogg,Hurri-Pimp and Remy
*Seymour, Marcyo and LPD are in the locker room*
Seymour: Hey, where’s Cool King?
LPD: I dunno man but I called him on his cell phone but he didn't answer....what the hell happened to your foot, Marcyo?
Seymour & LPD: Oh.
*Meanwhile somewhere in the arena*
Cool King: Oh man, where the hell is my bag? I leave it to go to the bathroom for ONE SECOND and it gets stolen.
*Meanwhile in another locker room*
Moore: I did it guys I got one of there bags!
J Dogg: Alright Moore! *Pats Moore on the back*
Hurri-Pimp: Who's bag is it?
Moore: I'll read the tag. *reads it* I can't read this....it's all in some funny language.
Remy: Hmmmm, Looks kinda Scottish.
Everyone: Cool King!
*Moore tries to pronounce what's on the tag but makes an ass out of himself*
Hurr-Pimp: Let's see what Cool King has in his bag.
Moore: OK *reaching in* I feel some....T-Shirts....and....Socks....
J Dogg: Boring, I have better stuff in my vomi....
Moore: WAIT! I feel a....DVD!
Remy: Cool! Pull it out!
*Moore pulls it out*
Remy: "Inside The Girls Locker Room"?!
*Everyone looks at Hurri-Pimp*
*The camera cuts to a break*
|07-07-2005, 10:33 PM||#25|
Total Non-stop Owen
*Wils'n creeps up from behind*
*Wils'n is still creepin"
Cocky: Bah gawd it's freakin' WILS'N!
Cocky: And the next time you pop up out of nowhere and scare me like that I will kick your sorry little ass you understand that you retarded piece of dog crap!
*Fans laugh at Wils'n*
Cocky: Stop crying you big baby! Who are you? Disturbed316? Crying about Cocky beating the living crap out of him and becoming the new Sheriff in town? Well don't cry, atleast you're not splaya!
*Fans start a splaya sucks chant*
*Splaya makes his way out to a chorus of boos*
Splaya: Crocky, sorry to spoil your fun with your only fan, Wils'n, but I'm gonna get straight to the point. I have a couple of pictures of you. I got a couple of pictures of Crocky at his best. Let's have a look see....
Splaya: There you are. Out of money. You went to the bank machine and it said you had insufficient funds. And there you are, calling your mom to transfer the extra cash
Splaya: And there you are. J. Lo is ignoring you as usual. You're trying to be cool by splashing water on her, but she's actually thinking of me. And P. Diddy (OOC: I will use Dany pics for J. Lo from now on )
Splaya: And you're so cool right here. An actual Crock fan trying to look cool with his stupid camera phone trying to get a picture of Crock in his rental car. Crock, you are so ugly and your fans are even uglier. Who's that kid anyways? Paul Carrington's brother?
Splaya: HAHA! Crocky got a ticket. Sorry Crock, but the officer didn't know who you were so he gave you another ticket for being a complete NOBODY!
Splaya: And look at you here. Standing there waiting for Brad Pitt to pick you up. Little did you know he sold you out to have sex with Angelina Jolie behind Jennifer Aniston's back. And once again, you had to get mommy to give you a ride home! PATHETIC!
Splaya: And last but not least. Here's The Austrain Bloke. You and Arnold have one thing in common...shitty movies. And what's next? Are you gonna run for Governor? Governor Cock would probably legalize marriages between human and sheep, because we all know Crock is a sheep fucker. And last but not least....
Wils'n: SHUT UP YOU IGNORANT ASS!
*Fans start a Wils'n chant*
Cocky: Splaya, where did you get those pics? From Outsider? You wanna play like that? Cool. Alright homeslice, let's see what splaya was up to this weekend! SHOW THE PICS!
Cocky: There we have splaya signing autographs for a "fan" at the PRIDE PARADE last weekend. This pic was from Bi-Weekly Times. Awesome!
Cocky: And here's splaya with "his girlfriend he is conveniently using as a diversion to hide his closet homosexuality from his parents" And what's worse, is that splaya is 23 and she is 13. I'm calling statutory rape on this one.
Cocky: And last but not least...
OWN3D BY PAUL CARRINGTON!
Wils'n: AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE CUZ STONE COLD SAID SO!!!!
Cocky: Wils'n, from here on in, you are banned from the microphone! Go study for your retest or something, cuz this is how we do it....
|07-07-2005, 10:39 PM||#26|
E - F E N D E R s
Deafening boos as the 56k and Dialup, the E-FENDERS make their way out.
DIAL UP: You people make me sick! You just sit there and allow the discrimination against low speed connections, when you should be rushing this thread to page 2! This is the latest example of the hate at the prejudice I, and those like me, encounter every day. You see not everyone in the world has a high speed connection, no matter what your biased media tells you! I ask... No, I demand that you change you ways, and get this thread to page 2, so that people like me can be treated fairly and in a just fashion!