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Old 12-30-2003, 04:57 AM   #41
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Listen to him. He stresses out words but he does it all calmly and shit. I'm all confused on how to type it. And that's the only one I put an exclamation point on because he gets all excited at the end.
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Old 12-30-2003, 05:08 AM   #42
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Yeah true. I guess you could capitalize parts of words. Like

I was on the Craig Kilborn Show and the next day I flew to Minneapolis. I was at the airport and a guy came up and said, "Dude, I saw you on TV last night." But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good. He just confirmed I was on television.

So I turned my head away from him for about a minute and I turned it back and I said, "dude, I saw you at the AIR... PORT... about a MINUTE... AGO. ... You were gooood."
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Old 12-30-2003, 05:11 AM   #43
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It is weird if you listen to his first CD and then the new one back to back. He sounds really different in the new one. It kinda sucks. He doesn't have the same delivery. He is not stoned in the second one.
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Old 12-30-2003, 05:16 AM   #44
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I think the jokes themselves are better in the second one though.
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Old 12-30-2003, 05:17 AM   #45
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Plus he cusses alot more in the second one and it's always well timed.
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Old 12-30-2003, 05:28 AM   #46
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The first CD is like twice as long though. The second one seems like all the crappy jokes got edited out. I like the first one better. It's more raw and uncut and he sounds funnier.

"Where are all the during photos at? ... That joke's not really ff-layed out... It refers to before and after..."

"Say... get your priorities crooked. That's my sister. That's what I tell her. She's too straight laced. I say get your priorities crooked... Haha alright... I'm stoned man."

"A guy told me he liked cherries... but I waited to see if he was gonna say tomato before I realized he liked cherries... just. Alright that joke is ridiculous. That's like a carbon copy of the previous joke... with different ingredients. I don't know what I was trying to pull off there. That one might be edited."

"How long can a CD be? I might have to do two tonight. No, I'm kidding. That would be too much comedy."
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Old 12-30-2003, 06:24 AM   #47
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Yeah. It is weird listening to the first one after listening to the second one because it sounds like the first is in slow-mo or something, like the speed is messed up cause his voice is so low and he sounds bored. He did alot of rambling in the first one, some of which bordered on unfunny like the whole suitcase cuffed to his wrist thing. Kinda like the uncut comedy central special. He kinda rambled and the audience was all getting quiet and it ruined the mood.

BTW, WTF @ them editing the long hair/cake joke out of the actual special. That joke was GOLD!
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Old 12-31-2003, 03:54 PM   #48
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I want to stop following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask them where they are going and try to hook up with them later.

I like refried beans, but I want to try fried beans. Maybe they are just as good and we're wasting time.

Yesterday I tried to walk into Target, but I missed.


For those that bought the CD/DVD thing where did you get it? Like what store and what section? I went to Best Buy, FYE, Suncoast, and Wal Mart and couldn't find it anywhere. I was kinda lost looking around, I checked in the comedy and special interest sections of the DVD areas and wasn't sure where to check in the CD areas, I just looked around until I saw something that it might be under. Is it in a DVD case or a regular sized CD case?
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Old 12-31-2003, 04:28 PM   #49
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Look in the CD section. Ask someone. I got it from Tower Records.

It's the size of a CD case, but comes in like a cardboard flip out thing, not a jewel case.
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Old 12-31-2003, 04:50 PM   #50
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As a comedian you have to start the show strong and you have to end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You cant be like pancakes...all exciting at first but then by the end youre fucking sick of them.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap
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Old 12-31-2003, 06:10 PM   #51
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I think I spent more on gas looking around for it than I did on the CD itself. I finally got it at the Wherehouse. I tried Best Buy but they were all sold out.
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Old 12-31-2003, 08:14 PM   #52
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lol yeah he is mad funny
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Old 01-01-2004, 02:36 PM   #53
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What section of the CD place was it in. Like was there a comedy section or something? I might just take the easy way out and order it off amazon or something.
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Old 01-02-2004, 01:16 AM   #54
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It was in the very small comedy section.
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Old 01-02-2004, 02:47 AM   #55
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I downloaded some of his stuff. He is quite comical.
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Old 01-02-2004, 01:52 PM   #56
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I've been into his stuff for a long time, but I didn't know he had a CD until I read it in this topic.

I picked it up a few days ago.
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Old 01-04-2004, 02:16 AM   #57
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I feel that ducks impression of me is based on whether or not I have bread. The duck loves bread but lacks the capability to purchase it.

LOL
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Old 01-04-2004, 02:58 AM   #58
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LOL when he ****s up it is the funniest shit.

"If I was a locksmith I'd be fuckin... pimpin that shit out. 'Say, what's goin on, man? Tell you what... I'll trade you... a free... key duplication f-' HAHAHA alright. That joke made me laugh before I could finish it. Which is good, cause there's no ending."
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Old 04-16-2004, 02:55 AM   #59
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*Bump*

Finally picked up the cd today. Funny shit!

"I dont have a microwave I just have a clock that cooks shit."

"I have a oscolating fan and when I look at it, it looks like its saying "no". And I'll ask it questions. Do you keep my hair in place? Will you keep my documents in order? Do you have three settings? LAIR! So I pulled the pin up and now it dont say shit."
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Old 04-16-2004, 10:23 AM   #60
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bo

"I dont have a microwave I just have a clock that cooks shit."

"I have a oscolating fan and when I look at it, it looks like its saying "no". And I'll ask it questions. Do you keep my hair in place? Will you keep my documents in order? Do you have three settings? LAIR! So I pulled the pin up and now it dont say shit."
Classic great lines. Funny as hell.
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Old 04-16-2004, 10:30 AM   #61
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Yeah he is the man
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Old 04-16-2004, 10:40 AM   #62
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"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen bannana, I said no, but I'll want a regular bannana later, so I said yeah."
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Old 04-16-2004, 04:54 PM   #63
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Man, I haven't watched his stand up in a while.
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Old 04-17-2004, 02:35 AM   #64
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The other day at school during Gym class we were all sitting in the hall way not doing Gym Class stuff. Well this one guy goes to the bathroom and comes out to his friends. He says something along the lines of, "I just realized something. Ya see while I was taking a piss I saw this Pringles can. And I realized that the Pringle company was orignally going to make tennis balls..." and you know how the rest goes. Well towards the end I ****ed with him. I was all hey that is pretty funny man(now I never talk to this kid cause he is a loser). And then I was all to bad your ass stole it from Mitch Hedberg you ****ing tool. It was funny, all his loser friends laughed at him and he was pretty mad because he is one of those guys who tries not to be a tool. I also apologize for my lack of spelling, grammar and whatever else is wrong with this post and I don't feel like giving an excuse.
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Old 04-17-2004, 05:24 AM   #65
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Quote:
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If you had a friend who was a tight-rope walker, and you saw him trip and fall on the sidewalk, that would be totally unacceptable.
lmfao
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Old 04-21-2004, 11:11 PM   #66
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wooo Mitch is coming to Cincinnati in June
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Old 04-21-2004, 11:37 PM   #67
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Quote:
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wooo Mitch is coming to Cincinnati in June
SEE HIM!

I saw him back in January, and laughed my ass off.
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Old 07-10-2004, 10:09 AM   #68
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Sweet I just found out he is coming to the local comedy club in about a month. Going to see him.
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Old 08-29-2004, 12:42 AM   #69
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Well just got back from seeing him live. Its fucking rocked. Some new stuff he siaid was.

"Bridges are just reminders that cars cant swim."

"Ever noticed that all the pictures of Bigfoot are blurry. Its not that the pictures are bad, Bigfoot is actually blurry as hell. It would be like "hey is that bigfoot?" I dont know cuz that fucker is blurry."
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Old 09-05-2004, 11:25 PM   #70
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I have his cd, Strategic Grill Locations, I listened to it like everyday for a month.
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Old 09-06-2004, 01:33 AM   #71
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I love Mitch. I have a friend who is so obsessed with him that he's like, adopted his vocal mannerisms.
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Old 09-06-2004, 02:01 AM   #72
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"I play sports, no I don't, what the fuck"

"I play tennis. the thing that's depressing about tennis is no matter how good I get, I'll never be better than a wall. I played a wall once, that fucker relentless."
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Old 09-06-2004, 03:07 AM   #73
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Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
lol, downloaded his CD and his thing from conan + letterman, fucking hilarious
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Old 09-06-2004, 03:10 AM   #74
Buzzkill
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Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
I sit at the hotel at night and think of something thats funny, then I go get a pen and write it down. Or, if the pens too far away, I gotta convince myself that what I thought of, aint funny
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Old 04-06-2005, 01:30 AM   #75
Buzzkill
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Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
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Old 04-06-2005, 01:30 AM   #76
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Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Buzzkill got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
I have been saved by the buoyancy of citrus.
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Old 04-06-2005, 01:33 AM   #77
Triple A
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triple A
The first CD is like twice as long though. The second one seems like all the crappy jokes got edited out. I like the first one better. It's more raw and uncut and he sounds funnier.

"Where are all the during photos at? ... That joke's not really ff-layed out... It refers to before and after..."

"Say... get your priorities crooked. That's my sister. That's what I tell her. She's too straight laced. I say get your priorities crooked... Haha alright... I'm stoned man."

"A guy told me he liked cherries... but I waited to see if he was gonna say tomato before I realized he liked cherries... just. Alright that joke is ridiculous. That's like a carbon copy of the previous joke... with different ingredients. I don't know what I was trying to pull off there. That one might be edited."

"How long can a CD be? I might have to do two tonight. No, I'm kidding. That would be too much comedy."
lol
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Old 04-06-2005, 01:35 AM   #78
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If I was a locksmith I'd be fuckin... pimpin that shit out. 'Say, what's goin on, man? Tell you what... I'll trade you... a free... key duplication f-
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Old 04-06-2005, 01:36 AM   #79
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Damn I feel like a huge fag who got into him really late or whatever.
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Old 04-06-2005, 08:27 AM   #80
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My buddy was all "Mitch has a cottage near me in Haliburton (Mike Myers has one by there as well, mad celebs love the Canadian cottage country) and he told me he was doing the same thing Pauly Shore did and he isn't dead"

The guy has never lied to me before, but I DUNNO, we shall see I guess hopefully he isn't lying.
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