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09-04-2006, 01:45 AM
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#41 |
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I am the cheese
Posts: 51,062
  
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I could quote that whole movie
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09-04-2006, 07:22 PM
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#42 |
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"Ask him!"
Posts: 10,072
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Quotes. Not entire scripts.
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09-04-2006, 07:34 PM
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#43 |
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"Ask him!"
Posts: 10,072
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Futurama:
Zap Brannigan: It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: rock crushes scissors.... but paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper! Kif! We have a conundrum! Search them for paper! And bring me a rock. Fry: Wow! That guy makes Speedy Gonzalez look like Regular Gonzalez. Zap Brannigan: We don't know who they are or where they come from, but we do know that they stand for everything we don't stand for. Also, I heard they said you guys look like dorks. Bender: THEY look like dorks! Richard Nixon's Head: Good evening, ignorant pigs. Put down your crack pipes and your beer bongs and pay attention, as I sign a historic peace accord with ambassador Kong of planet Nintendo 64. Fry: Wait a second, I know that monkey, his name is Donkey! Professor Farnsworth: Monkey's aren't donkeys, quit messing with my head! South Park GUY: Our war support songs will be a thousand times better! RANDY: Oh, you think so? Bring the shizzle! GUY 2: We'll trizzle the shizzle all over the hizzle! MR. BROFLOFSKI: Yeah?! See you Saturday, McKizzer shanazerizzle shazz beyaznatch ghazziza! |
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09-05-2006, 02:25 AM
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#44 |
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I'm Mr. White Christmas
Posts: 44,526
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Carla: You know what your problem is?
Dr. Cox: There are times when I put myself into situ... Carla: Oh my god, who answers that question? You see, *that* is your problem. You think you have the answers to everything, but instead you end up throwing gas on the fire, and everyone else has to pay the consequences. Dr. Cox: That's almost exactly what I was going to say. Scrubs |
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09-05-2006, 02:44 AM
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#45 |
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i'll pimp anything.
Posts: 255
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Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
Peter: I do...you bastard. |
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09-05-2006, 05:34 AM
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#46 |
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Posts: 21,603
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"As far back as I can remember I've always wanted to be a gangster."
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09-06-2006, 08:38 AM
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#47 | ||
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\m/(-.-)\m/
Posts: 1,456
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Unforgiven -
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Quote:
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09-06-2006, 11:51 AM
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#48 |
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LIMITLESS
Posts: 32,273
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South Park: BLU
CartmanDon't call me fat, you fucking Jew! Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word? Cartman: Jew? Kyle: No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass! Mr. Garrison: Kyle! Cartman: Why the fuck not? Mr. Garrison: Eric! Stan: Dude, you just said "fuck" again! Mr. Garrison: Stanley! Kenny: Fuck! Mr. Garrison: Kenny! Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck. Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor? Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls? Mr. Garrison: What did you say? Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was... [picks up a megaphone] Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON? Stan: Holy shit, dude. ___________ Mr. Mackey: I want to know where you heard all this horrific obscenities, m'kay? Kyle: Nowhere. Stan: We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before. Mr. Mackey: Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr Garrison ever said: "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker". |
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09-06-2006, 12:34 PM
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#49 |
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Temporary
Posts: 15,564
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Rookie of the year
[once taken out of the cast, Henry's arm snaps around and hits Dr. Kersten in the nose] Dr. Kersten: [muffled, with hands over his face] Funky, buttloving...! George: Did he say "funky buttloving?" |
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09-06-2006, 03:32 PM
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#50 |
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Posts: 21,603
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Serenity:
"You wanna run this ship?" "YES" "Well,....................you can't." |
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09-06-2006, 03:47 PM
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#51 |
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Triple A
Posts: 133,040
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Futurama:
Fry: "Hey, who's this guy?" Janitor: "I'm the janitor. I'm trying to take a nap here." Fry: "I'm sorry. I thought you were made off wax." Janitor: "I am made off wax. What's it to you?" Fry: "I mean, I thought you were one of the wax robots." Janitor: "Is there some reason a robot made of wax can't take a nap standing up in the middle of a bunch of wax robots? Or does that 'CONFUSE' you?" Vogel: Sir, you seem pretty stable. Have you thought about adopting one of our kids? Fry: Sure haven't. Vogel: Well keep adoption in mind. It's a great way to have a kid without having sex. Fry: (thoughtful) Really? |
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09-06-2006, 04:56 PM
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#52 |
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Angel Headed Hipster
Posts: 37,942
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Clone High
Shadowy Figure: Listen, we've all done things we're not proud of after a good cross country meet, but that riot was unacceptable. Scudworth: Unacceptable? Did you see the pool? They flipped the bitch! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gandhi: (forces himself to undergo a JFK-like transformation) Fowah suppah I want a pawtty plattah. JFK: Wait a minute! Throw some 'er's and 'uh's in there. What's your hurry? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scudworth: When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons and make SUPER lemons. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mr. Butlertron: Shouldn't you be saving some of this money instead of having me gold-plated and lowered? Scudworth: Stop getting all up in my business, Mr. B. I saw the first two-thirds of the MC Hammer Behind the Music, and if there's one thing I learned about money, it's that it never runs out. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Shadowy Figure: [menacing] I think this is an issue we should talk about... in person. Scudworth: [excited] Maybe we could have dinner. Perhaps the Olive Garden. It's like eating in the private kitchen of a delightful Italian stereotype! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- JFK: Are uh you drunk enough to sleep with me? [Joan of Arc kicks JFK in the face] JFK: Answer the question -------------------------------------------------------------------- Abe: I'll sleep when I die... Joan of Arc: You'll die if you don't sleep. Gandhi: Abe, remember how excited I was to see the movie "American Pie" that I didn't sleep the night before? And remember that scene where the guy has sex with the pie? Well, I don't. Because I fell asleep in the theatre. [dramatic pause] Abe: Why don't you just rent it? [Gandhi runs out of the room] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ JFK: Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys. [car flips over] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ JFK: I didn't see it coming either. And by 'it,' I mean ME. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ JFK: I'm a Kennedy. I'm not accustomed to tragedy. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Principal Scudworth is seeking funding for his evil side-project, "Cloney Island"] Mr. Butlertron: Perhaps you could get Clone High a corporate sponsor. Those Pumas were rather fresh. Scudworth: Sell out? And turn the school into some profit-hungry corporation? (Beat) Why, that idea's as foolish as getting new brakes from anywhere but Midas. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Abe: How am I gonna get the beers? Gandhi: I've got an idea. Tell him he heard you wrong - tell him what you actually said was "I'll get the *beards*..." Abe: That doesn't make sense. Gandhi: But if you think about it, it would still be a pretty sweet party. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Joan of Arc: Abe, I'm so mad at you I could kiss you! Abe: What did you say, Joan? Joan of Arc: I said, I'm so mad at you I could piss glue. Abe: Really? It sounded like you said "I could kiss you." Joan of Arc: No, I said: "I could piss glue." It's a very common expression. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Narrator: Last year, Abe said he was 15 years old. Now he claims to be 16. Which is it, Abe? Better keep your story straight. He'd also like you to believe he's not a baby eater. But he's never gone on record saying he isn't. Maybe he's too busy eating babies! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Police Officer: Well, well, well. If it isn't my old friend, underage drinking. So, we meet again. How are you, underage drinking? Besides illegal! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scudworth: I first got the idea for Cloney Island after seeing the movie Jurassic Park 3. But my ill-conceived amusement park will be filled with human clones instead of zoo animals. It's as fool-proof as the amusement park in the movie itself! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- JFK: Hark! That sounds like the gentle knock of a vulnerable teenage girl. [door opens; Joan is standing in the rain] JFK: You're wet. Allow me to dry you off... with my pants! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gandhi: Abe, I just polled everyone in the girls' bathroom - you're ahead! Abe: I knew the poll - did you say I was winning? Gandhi: Straight up, man. Numbers don't lie. [the Number 4 runs across the library] The Number 4: I'm the number five! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mr. Butlertron: Are you A: handsome; B: smart; C: scrap metal; or D: all of the above? Scangrade: That's easy! I'm A and B. But not C... So I can't be all of the above, but... you can't fill in two ovals! Noooooooo! [explodes] Mr. Butlertron: The answer is C... you fuckwad. |
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09-06-2006, 06:13 PM
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#53 | |
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\m/(-.-)\m/
Posts: 1,456
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BLOOD, GUTS, BULLETS, AND OCTANE -
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09-09-2006, 11:59 AM
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#54 |
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Posts: 21,603
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Everybody forgot one of the most famous quotes in movie history. You know who said it.
"I'LL BE BACK" |
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09-10-2006, 11:23 AM
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#55 |
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Posts: 4,668
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Futurama:
Fry: Hey Bender, Why Are those kids following you? Do you have candy stuck to your ass? Bender: No! LOL Last edited by Mikey; 09-10-2006 at 11:37 AM. |
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09-10-2006, 11:33 AM
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#56 |
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ELF ANGEL
Posts: 39,476
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Monty Python : I don't likee SPAM!!!
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09-11-2006, 01:57 AM
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#57 |
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Triple A
Posts: 133,040
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Simpsons
Hank: Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you? Homer: Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks. Hank: Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third. Homer: Uh-huh. Hank: There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There? Homer: Mm-Hmm. Hank: That's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third. Homer: Oh, the hammock district. Hank: That's right. |
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09-11-2006, 02:13 AM
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#58 |
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History's Greatest, Mr. E
Posts: 42,425
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Narrator: And Michael was getting an update on how his newest employee, Nellie, was working out.
Michael: (Into phone.) ...Really? And all the guys like her, huh? That is, that is, that is great. Uh, you mean “away,” though, right? Because otherwise it sounds a little different, but, uh, that’s, uh, that’s outstanding... You forgot to say “away” again... But listen, let me call you back in a bit, okay? Bye. (To Lindsay.) Nellie has blown them all away. |
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09-11-2006, 02:23 AM
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#59 |
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Posts: 24,512
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Hank: Hey, look at my feet. You like those moccasins? Look in your
closet; there's a pair for you. Don't like them? Then neither do I! [throws them out] Get the hell outta here! Ever see a guy say good-bye to a shoe? Homer: Yes, once. |
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09-11-2006, 12:01 PM
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#60 |
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Posts: 4,668
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Jerry is bathing his crippled left hand in a bowl of ice-water. The phone
rings and he picks up JERRY: Yeah? GEORGE: (panicked and rushed) Jerry! The Japanese guys had sake in the hot-tub! You gotta get 'em outta the drawers and get 'em down here, or I don't have a focus group to sell the pilot to Japanese TV! JERRY: (kidding) Uncle Leo? GEORGE: (scream) Jerry!! George begins hammering the phone against the kiosk. Jerry lifts the phone away from his ear at the noise. |
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09-15-2006, 09:58 AM
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#61 |
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\m/(-.-)\m/
Posts: 1,456
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KLATU, VERATA......NE - HEH - HEH - HEM
okay then... |
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09-15-2006, 11:02 AM
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#62 | |
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\m/(-.-)\m/
Posts: 1,456
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FIRE IN THE SKY
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09-15-2006, 11:39 PM
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#63 |
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I'm Mr. White Christmas
Posts: 44,526
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Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts! Homer: Explain how! Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services! Homer: Woo-hoo! |
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09-16-2006, 02:50 PM
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#64 | |
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oooooh yeaaaa
Posts: 356
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Quote:
The office Michael: This is our receptionist Pam, if you think she's cute now you should have seen here a couple years ago. |
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09-16-2006, 03:05 PM
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#65 |
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Tîm Defaid
Posts: 6,646
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*Stan walks into a Synagog and finds Kyle*
Stan: Dude, what are you doing here, everybody's looking for you. Kyle: Do you know what happened to me this morning Stan? This morning, I woke up and felt a sharp pain in my ass. I felt down there and found this big sore lump. On my ass, Stan. I couldn't even sit down so I had to tell my mother which was humiliating. She took me to the doctor which was even more humiliating, and he told me...I have a hemroid. It's like an infected blood vessel on your ass. I'm nine years old and I have a hemroid Stan. I have a hemroid, and Cartman has his own theme park. Stan: Kyle, I understand what you mean, but... Kyle: Do you?! Do you Stan?! Because all my life I was raised to believe in Jehovah, to believe that we should all behave in a certain way and good things will come to us. I make mistakes, and every week I try to better myself. I'm always saying "You know, I've learned something today", and what does this so called God give me in return? A hemroid. It doesn't make sense. WHAT IS YOUR LOGIC?! *feels ass" Ouch. |
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09-19-2006, 03:05 PM
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#66 |
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\m/(-.-)\m/
Posts: 1,456
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"it smells like Bigfoot's dick!"
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09-19-2006, 06:52 PM
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#67 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,087
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Cosby: Kids meet your grandpa murphy!
Kid: But we have 3 grandpas already Cosby: But this ones a great jazz musician kid: OH THEY ALL ARE! ----------------- the clip: http://youtube.com/watch?v=FanZdYuNw-c Last edited by Savio; 09-19-2006 at 07:02 PM. |
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09-19-2006, 07:10 PM
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#68 |
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bonjour
Posts: 27,809
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Homer: Stealing?! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's-His-Name?! We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those "Police Academy" movies? For fun?! Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you?!... Well, except at that guy who makes sound effects, heehee... [makes sound effect noises] Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze.
Gold 
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09-19-2006, 07:29 PM
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#69 |
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bonjour
Posts: 27,809
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Homer: Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night.
-------------------------- Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart? Homer: New glasses? Marge: No... he looks like something might be disturbing him. Homer: Probably misses his old glasses. Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then I'd be afraid of smothering him. Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair. Marge: That's not what I meant. Homer: It was, Marge, admit it. So much goodness. 
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09-26-2006, 05:34 AM
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#70 |
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You know that’s right
Posts: 52,690
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Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, 'Smashing Pumpkins'."
Homer: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely." ---------------------------------------------- Bart: I smell a museum. Homer: Yeah, good things don't end with 'eum,' they end with 'mania' or 'teria.' |
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09-26-2006, 05:40 AM
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#71 |
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Posts: 21,603
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Homer: "DOH!"
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09-26-2006, 09:13 AM
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#72 |
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adjective noun
Posts: 30,416
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I swear, if nobody's posted the cock pussy quote from Bull Durham, I'll take someone's fucking head off.
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09-26-2006, 09:20 AM
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#73 |
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adjective noun
Posts: 30,416
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Oh, on closer inspection this is more a "TV Based" thread.
Tomorrow, I will fill it with Seinfeld 
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09-27-2006, 11:41 PM
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#74 |
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Loque Ja
Posts: 87,927
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"Where am I?"
"In the Village." "What do you want?" "We want information." "Whose side are you on?" "That would be telling. We want information... information... information!" "You won't get it." "By hook or by crook... we will." "Who are you?" "The new Number 2." "Who is Number 1?" "You are Number 6." "I am not a number, I am a free man!" "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" |
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09-28-2006, 12:46 AM
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#75 |
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Less Talk, More Rokk!
Posts: 3,555
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How about we bump the bet up to 20 G's
Excuse Me? You heard me Chico I don't know where you're going Johnny but you need to watch your mouth. No, you need to watch mine, because you don't want watch me play Pool, I been beating this Johnny Walker looking Motherfucker, that he can't even see straight, So how about it Chico 20 G's? Pause Oh, Did I strutter, a few minutes ago, It was like an Evening at the Apolo in this motherfucker, now it's Quiet as an church...Come on Joe, Theses Guy wouldn't bet five dollars if they were Black Poolhall Junkies |
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09-29-2006, 02:10 PM
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#76 |
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"Ask him!"
Posts: 10,072
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FEAR DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO, DOES IT?
No Sensei! PAIN DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO, DOES IT? No Sensei! DEFEAT DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO, DOES IT? No Sensei! WHAT DO WE STUDY HERE? The way of the fist, sir! AND WHAT IS THAT WAY?! Strike first, strike hard, no mercy, sir! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! STRIKE FIRST, STRIKE HARD, NO MERCY, SIR! |
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09-30-2006, 12:41 AM
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#77 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,087
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Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa. Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product. Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy? Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning. Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart. Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out. Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me either and secondly I heard what you said. Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case. Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to. Homer: Bart, go to your room!! --------------- Homer: (trying to buy fireworks in a low-key way) Hi... um, let me have some of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of those panty shields, rope, and someillegalfireworks, and one of those disposable enemas. Eh, make it two. (later, when Marge is going through Homer's purchase) Marge: I don't know what you have planned for tonight, but count me out. Last edited by Savio; 09-30-2006 at 12:58 AM. |
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10-09-2006, 12:06 AM
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#78 |
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aka Aussie_Skier
Posts: 526
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I love Cartman telling Kenny's parents that he died while re-enacting the civil war.
Cartman: "Dear Mr and Mrs. (kenny's parents...forget their last name.) Today I come to you with terrible news that your son has died in the re-enactment of the civil war. But it has not come in vain, because his death will lead to me winning my bet with Kyle and Stan, which is good, because I hate those guys, I hate them, so very very much." - only seen the episode once, but it was brilliant. Of course Stewie Griffin when he talked condesendingly to Brian is brilliant to..."So, how you going with that novel youi've been working on. Been talking about that for three years now huh,..." - BRILLIANT. And when Stewie locks up his babysitter's boyfriend in the back of Brian's car. Stewie: "oh holy crap, Jake's still in the trunk!!! oh, yeah, yeah, he's dead now...definatly dead..." other random quotes: Brian Griffin: "In your fucking face fuck-wad!" Homer Simpson: "Weel crying isn't going to get your dog back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So, you could sit around all day eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like food that your dog will come back, or you can go out there and find your dog!" Bart SImpson: "You're right!" (Bart runs out of the room) Homer Simpson: "Drats, I almost had him eating dog food." |
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Linear Mode
