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Old 03-21-2004, 05:01 PM   #81
The Miz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pegasus Crawford


ok?
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Old 03-21-2004, 05:02 PM   #82
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*english people have invaded the drunken clam*
Peter: Holy crap! It's a gay bar!
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Old 03-21-2004, 05:27 PM   #83
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"Don't worry about that, we'll ignore it, just like we ignore the giant squid."

*smash*

Uh, earthquake....
Truck going by....
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Old 03-23-2004, 05:04 PM   #84
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Barney: I'm with you, Homer!
McAllister: I be with ya too, matey.
Skinner: I'm with you, Homer.
Moe: You're the man, Homer.
Apu: You should do it.
Otto: You're the man, man.
Abe: I'll join! I'm filled with piss and vinegar. At first I
was just filled with vinegar.
Homer: Hmm...sorry, Dad. You're too old.
Abe: [stammers] Too old? Why, that just means I have experience.
Who chased the Irish out of Springfield village in aught
four? Me, that's who!
Irish man: And a fine job you did, too.
Homer: Aw, Dad. You've done a lot of great things, but you're a
very old man now, and old people are useless. [tickles Abe]
Aren't they? Aren't they? Huh? Yes they are! Yes they
are! Tee hee --
Abe: Stop it! That's a form of abuse.
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Old 03-26-2004, 07:02 PM   #85
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(Peter and family go to the nudist's house for the first time)
(Lady nudist comes up to them, her hair is covering her breasts)
Peter: (whispers to Lois) Oh my god Lois! That woman has hair growing from her boobs to her head!
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Old 03-26-2004, 07:21 PM   #86
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Bart: "I met a really nice exotic dancer the other night at Hugh's bacherlor party."
Lisa: "Hugh didn't have a bachelor party."
Bart: "We had one in his honor."
Lisa: ...
Bart: "I had one in his honor."
Lisa: ...
Bart: "I went to a strip club."
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Old 03-31-2004, 02:48 PM   #87
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peter griffin: "hehehe, i'm Gene Shallet now"
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Old 03-31-2004, 02:49 PM   #88
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homer simpson: "i dont care about B.C. i care about M.E., MY ENJOYMENT"
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Old 04-15-2004, 03:45 AM   #89
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Peter: So, what the hell Brian, you cured yet? Cause I don't want to live in a house with plastic on the furniture like some Italian family.
Brian: My therapist thinks he's figured out what my problem is.
Peter: Ehh. Well what does Sigmund FRAUD think it is? (LOL @ this part)
Brian: He thinks I'm in love.
Peter: Oh my God. You can talk.
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Old 04-15-2004, 12:27 PM   #90
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Bart: Can't sleep, clown will eat me.
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Old 03-22-2005, 09:58 PM   #91
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Just bought Season 5 of the Simpsons yesterday, it made me remember tons of brilliant quotes that I'd forgotten about.

Mr. Burns:Smithers, I've designed a new airplane. I call it the "Spruce Moose", and it will carry two hundred passengers from New York's Idyllwild Airport to the Belgian Congo in seventeen minutes!
Smithers: That's quite a nice model, sir.
Burns: Model?
*Later*
Burns: To the plant. And the Spruce Moose will take us there. Hop in, Smithers.
Smithers: But sir, that's just...
Burns: *pulls out a gun* I said, "hop in".

Jasper: *gets zapped by house-laser* Oh... my cataracts are gone. I can see again! All the beauty of natu- *gets zapped again* Ugh. I'm blind... Oh well, easy come, easy go.

Flanders: Who should lead the [vigilante] group?
Man in crowd: YOU!
Crowd: YAY! FLANDERS! FLANDERS! FLANDERS!
Flanders: I don't really have very much experience, but I'll be-
Moe: SOMEONE ELSE!
Crowd: YAY! SOMEONE ELSE! SOMEONE ELSE! SOMEONE ELSE!

Lionel Hutz: Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.
Marge: But we did win.
Lionel Hutz: That's okay, the box is empty!

Lisa: Mr. Hutz, why are you burning all your papers?
Lionel Hutz: Heh, you see kids, from now on, Lionel Hutz doesn't exist. Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!

Lawyer: Well, what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, "Die, Bart, Die"?
Sideshow Bob: Haha, oh no, that's German for, "The Bart, The".
Parole Judge: No one who speaks German can be an evil man! Parole Granted!

Skinner: Any sign of the burglar yet?
Homer: He'll show.
Skinner: How's that?
Homer: It's his job.
Skinner: How's that?
Homer: He's a professional burglar.
*Dragnet theme and much nodding*

Dr. Hibbert: Well, only one in two million people has what we call the "evil gene". Hitler had it, Walt Disney had it, and... Freddy Quimby has it.
Lionel Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert. I rest my case.
Judge: You rest your case?
Lionel Hutz: What? Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech. Case closed.

Homer:What does "sequestered" mean?
Skinner: If the jury is deadlocked they're put up in a hotel together so they can't communicate with the outside world.
Homer: What does "deadlocked" mean?
Skinner: It's when the jury can't agree on a verdict.
Homer: Uh huh. And "if"?
Skinner: A conjunction meaning "in the event that" or "on condition that".
Homer: So if we don't all vote the same way, we'll be deadlocked and have to be sequestered in the Springfield Palace Hotel--
Patty: That's not going to happen.
Jasper: Let's vote. My liver is failing.
Homer: --where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool, free HBO... ooh! Free Willy!
Skinner: Simpson, justice has little, if anything, to do with a disobedient whale.
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Old 03-22-2005, 10:04 PM   #92
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitchanthropic
Just bought Season 5 of the Simpsons yesterday, it made me remember tons of brilliant quotes that I'd forgotten about.

Mr. Burns:Smithers, I've designed a new airplane. I call it the "Spruce Moose", and it will carry two hundred passengers from New York's Idyllwild Airport to the Belgian Congo in seventeen minutes!
Smithers: That's quite a nice model, sir.
Burns: Model?
*Later*
Burns: To the plant. And the Spruce Moose will take us there. Hop in, Smithers.
Smithers: But sir, that's just...
Burns: *pulls out a gun* I said, "hop in".

Jasper: *gets zapped by house-laser* Oh... my cataracts are gone. I can see again! All the beauty of natu- *gets zapped again* Ugh. I'm blind... Oh well, easy come, easy go.

Flanders: Who should lead the [vigilante] group?
Man in crowd: YOU!
Crowd: YAY! FLANDERS! FLANDERS! FLANDERS!
Flanders: I don't really have very much experience, but I'll be-
Moe: SOMEONE ELSE!
Crowd: YAY! SOMEONE ELSE! SOMEONE ELSE! SOMEONE ELSE!

Lionel Hutz: Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.
Marge: But we did win.
Lionel Hutz: That's okay, the box is empty!

Lisa: Mr. Hutz, why are you burning all your papers?
Lionel Hutz: Heh, you see kids, from now on, Lionel Hutz doesn't exist. Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!

Lawyer: Well, what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, "Die, Bart, Die"?
Sideshow Bob: Haha, oh no, that's German for, "The Bart, The".
Parole Judge: No one who speaks German can be an evil man! Parole Granted!

Skinner: Any sign of the burglar yet?
Homer: He'll show.
Skinner: How's that?
Homer: It's his job.
Skinner: How's that?
Homer: He's a professional burglar.
*Dragnet theme and much nodding*

Dr. Hibbert: Well, only one in two million people has what we call the "evil gene". Hitler had it, Walt Disney had it, and... Freddy Quimby has it.
Lionel Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert. I rest my case.
Judge: You rest your case?
Lionel Hutz: What? Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech. Case closed.

Homer:What does "sequestered" mean?
Skinner: If the jury is deadlocked they're put up in a hotel together so they can't communicate with the outside world.
Homer: What does "deadlocked" mean?
Skinner: It's when the jury can't agree on a verdict.
Homer: Uh huh. And "if"?
Skinner: A conjunction meaning "in the event that" or "on condition that".
Homer: So if we don't all vote the same way, we'll be deadlocked and have to be sequestered in the Springfield Palace Hotel--
Patty: That's not going to happen.
Jasper: Let's vote. My liver is failing.
Homer: --where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool, free HBO... ooh! Free Willy!
Skinner: Simpson, justice has little, if anything, to do with a disobedient whale.
I NEED that DVD.
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Old 03-22-2005, 10:05 PM   #93
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Season 5 is the single greatest season of the Simpsons EVER. Yes, you do need it.
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Old 03-22-2005, 11:07 PM   #94
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I need Season 6...I don't wanna wait until June
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Old 03-23-2005, 02:01 PM   #95
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Peter:You Know what my Problem is?.. I love to much!!. Can't you feel it Lois We're ALIVE!!

Lois:Peter your starting to scare me.

Peter: GOOD!. Embrace the fear.. Dance with Lois Dance the Dance of life

*Crash*

Peter: Yeah your right maybe we should call a marrage Counceller.
---

Lois:Oh No!
Meg:Oh No!
Chris:Oh No!
Brian:Oh No!
*Big jug thing crashes through wall*
Big Jug:OH YEAH!
------

Prisonor: YOUR ALL DEAD!! ALL YOU YOUR DEAD!!

Peter: *Phew* Thank god he thinks we're Zombies. He wont hurt us.
----------
(I forget the Black guys name)
The Episode where the Ku Klux Klan are chasing them.

:That Truck is getting awfully close to us.

Peter:My God! Do you see what i see

:I sure do

Peter: We're Being chased by Ghosts!!

*Gives Peter an odd look*
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Old 03-23-2005, 02:11 PM   #96
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitchanthropic
Season 5 is the single greatest season of the Simpsons EVER. Yes, you do need it.
Got mine today
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Old 03-24-2005, 01:37 AM   #97
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Gonna throw in some Futurama quotes since Ninti posted a thread about it and it's made me all sad and missing it.

Fry: You could just bend the hatch off this steam pipe!
*Bender opens valve, steam sprays out*
Fry: No good, it's full of steam!

Bender: You look greasy. Real greasy. You been up all night?
Fry: Of course I've been up all night! Not because of caffeine; it was insomnia. I couldn't stop thinking about coffee. Oh man, I need a nap. *snore* COFFEE TIME!
*Bender pulls out Le Grande Cigar*
Bender: Ahh, mighty fine smokable.
Fry: Fancy cigar. Why don't you smoke it already? Puff puff! Gogogogogo!!!

Zoidberg: I can never repay Fry his 10 dollars, so I must take the only honourable option, what with the killing myself!
*Zoidberg steals Chairman Koji's sword*
Zoidberg: Here I go, already!
*Zoidberg tries to stab himself and the sword crumples on his shell*
Chairman Koji: ARGH! THAT SWORD... COST FIVE THOUSAND DORU!!!!
Zoidberg:... Fry did it! *Woop woopwoopwoopwoopwoop*

Professor Farnsworth: Bah. Let's just steal the damned microwave dish!
Fry: But... won't that change history?
Farnsworth: OH, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm-my-own-grandpa!

Farnsworth: Oh, if only he'd chosen a mainstream religion, like Oprahism or Voodoo!

Fry: I heard one time you single handedly defeated a horde of rampaging somethings in the something something system.
Zapp: The Killbots? A trifle. It was simply a matter of outsmarting them.
Fry: Wow, I never would've thought of that.
Zapp: You see, the killbots have a preset kill limit; knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shut down.
Bender: It was a dark day for robotkind. Ahhhh, we can always build more killbots.

Zapp: Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love: hard and fast.

Fry: We didn't need your electric can openers to get to our food. All you needed was a trusty swiss army knife!
*Fry pulls out a knife and tries to open a can of leek. He breaks the blade*
Fry: OW!
*Fry drops the knife and starts to bash the can against the bench. He quickly gives up and breaks down crying*
Fry: ... I'm hungry.

Mom: Jam a bastard in it, you crap!

Zoidberg: *dressed as Jesus* I help those that help themselves!

Fry: It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?

Bender:You may need to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. By 'devil' I mean robot devil and by 'metaphorically' I mean get your coat.

Fry: Oh wow. This is like that drug trip in that movie I saw when I was on that drug trip.

Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! There's a news report on TV showing some incredibly bad news!

Morbo: ...and that's why the third grade class at PS 118 is Morbo's... Vermin of the week!

Bubblegum Tate: This food looks funky... but it tastes funk-aaaaay.
Morbo: The challenger's ugly food has shown us even the most hideous of things can be beautiful on the inside. *Breaks down crying*

Zapp:Teenagers all smoke, and they seem pretty on the ball.

Morbo: And now, a man who has been showing the world how to cook for 20 years, but uh, apparently, my wife wasn't listening.
*Crowd laughs*
Morbo: I WILL DESTROY HER!

Lurr: This concept of 'wuv' confuses and infuriates us!

God, thousands more too. Gotta rewatch all the episodes and stuff.

Once I'm finished with Simpsons season 5.
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Old 03-24-2005, 01:39 AM   #98
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eunos
Judge: Peter Griffin, I sentence you to five (or however many it was) years in jail.
Lois:Oh No!
Meg:Oh No!
Chris:Oh No!
Brian:Oh No!
*Big jug thing The Kool-Aid Man crashes through wall*
Big Jug Kool-Aid Man:OH YEAH!
See: Avatar.
--------

Cat in the Hat: Now you're SURE you don't want me to clean up this mess before your parents get home?
Peter: Nah, nah... Go. It'll be fun.
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Old 03-24-2005, 01:47 AM   #99
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Monkey 1: Let's see... a "something" by any other name?
Monkey 2: Carnation?
Monkey 3: Daisy?
Monkey 4: Rose?
Monkey 1: Rose? Did you say rose? Yeah, I like that. Moving on.
Monkey 5: Hey, what about tulip?
Monkey 1: Rose is fine. Moving on.

Hitler:If you are going to be in the Los Angeles area and would like to be on the Hitler show, call 213-DU-WERDEST-EINE-KRANKENSCHWESTER-BRAUCHEN!
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Old 03-24-2005, 05:26 PM   #100
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lol, that translates to 213-YOU-WILL-A-NURSE-NEED!

I'm guessing I would need a nurse if I went
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Old 03-24-2005, 05:43 PM   #101
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Burns' lawyer: So Mrs Simpson, what do you think about doctor Nick Riviera?
Marge: Well, my mother always said if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
Homer to Lionel Hutz: Will that hold up in court?
Hutz: No, I've tried it before.
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Old 03-24-2005, 11:35 PM   #102
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Lionel Hutz: I rest my case
Judge Schnieder: You rest your case!?
Lionel Hutz: Oh im sorry i thought that was just a figure of speech..........case closed
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Old 03-25-2005, 09:11 AM   #103
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Death: Well, I'll be seeing you folks... real soon.
*Awkward silence*
Death: Hahahaha, is he kidding? Ahahahaha, ahhhh. I'll see you later.
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Old 03-25-2005, 11:06 AM   #104
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RemyRed is "reptacular" (2,500+)RemyRed is "reptacular" (2,500+)RemyRed is "reptacular" (2,500+)
Homer- Thanks Jesus..
(up in heaven)
Jesus- Actually it wasn't me. It-
Ganesha- It's ok. I am used to it.
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