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Old 12-16-2003, 03:48 PM   #41
Jesus Shuttlesworth
 
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Jesus Shuttlesworth got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Jesus Shuttlesworth got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Jesus Shuttlesworth got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Jesus Shuttlesworth got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Jesus Shuttlesworth got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Jesus Shuttlesworth got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Jesus Shuttlesworth got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Jesus Shuttlesworth got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Jesus Shuttlesworth got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Jesus Shuttlesworth got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Jesus Shuttlesworth got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Jesus Shuttlesworth got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveWadding
I wish the mods here would follow their example.
LOL you geek
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Old 12-16-2003, 04:27 PM   #42
XCRS
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Peter: So whats heaven like?
Apparition of Peter's Black Ancestor: Well, Theres a shortage of chairs
(Awkward Silence)
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Old 12-16-2003, 06:45 PM   #43
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Ha

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sascha
IRS Lady: Have you ever had any medical expenses in the past year?
Peter: You can claim those? Had I known that I would'nt have used the discount surgeaon *Flashback*

Surgeon: Oh man...ok...what do I do?
Peter: Ok...take the red one and connect it to the blue one
Flatlines and surgeon un does it
Peter: Did that kill me? ok I thought so.


Anyone remember what the episode was whre peter turned the house into a gian puppet?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TRIPLE A
You dickhead, that was the first one on my list.

Last edited by DXJerky-Version 2.5; 12-16-2003 at 06:46 PM. Reason: made a boo boo
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Old 12-16-2003, 11:09 PM   #44
SukkaChump
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Peter:awh man now that the show is cancled i wont have anything to watch on wensdays... *brief pause* except for the Quality programming on fox

Homer:yeah just throw the raccoon in the arbys dumpster, they'll do something with it
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Old 12-19-2003, 01:01 AM   #45
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Cant remember which actual simpson child said it but I will do it then someone can correct me.

Lisa: "Them Derringer bullets are weak"
Bart: "Powerful weak"
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Old 12-19-2003, 01:25 AM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Apocolyptik1
Cant remember which actual simpson child said it but I will do it then someone can correct me.

Lisa: "Them Derringer bullets are weak"
Bart: "Powerful weak"
It was Nelson and Bart doing a Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn story
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Old 12-19-2003, 04:59 PM   #47
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Yeah, I figured I would get the people wrong, but damn if that wasnt just the most rememorable line....
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Old 12-20-2003, 05:52 AM   #48
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Lois: Why don't you go over there and talk to Joe?
Peter: He's probably being interviewed by Barbara Walters or that DRRREAAADFUL Gene Shalit.
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Old 12-20-2003, 07:07 PM   #49
RGWhat316
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I love the Family Guy episode when Brian goes to visit his mom at the farm. I don't remember every word but here goes
Brian: I came here to see my mom
Farmer: Alright then who are you
Brian: I'm Brian
Farmer: Still don't remember
Brian: I'm the one that can talk
Farmer: Brian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 12-20-2003, 11:42 PM   #50
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Skinner: [talking to hamster that 'helped' get skinner and the kids out of the snowed in school] you did it! now, Chew through my ball sack!

Grounds keeper Willie:Okay, Skinner, that's the last time you'll slap your Willie around

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Old 12-21-2003, 12:51 PM   #51
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Laughing

Dennis Miller: I don't want to go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antietam. I mean when a neo-conservative defenestrates it's like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate...

Peter Griffin: What the hell does rant mean?
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Old 12-21-2003, 02:06 PM   #52
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Homer: Lisa, you and your stories. Bart is a vampire, beer kills brain cells, now let's go back to that building thingy... where our beds and tv... is.

(on a related note I'm throwing in a Futurama quote)
Q-Bert: Alchohol destroys brain cells
Fry: No I'm... doesn't!

Homer: If we wanted to see Japanese people we could've gone to the zoo
Marge: Homer!
Homer: What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese, his name is Tikashi, he's in my book club.
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Old 12-24-2003, 01:01 AM   #53
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Marge: How could you vote for Burns' film?
Krusty: Let's just say it moved me... TO A BIGGER HOUSE! Uh oh, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.
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Old 12-24-2003, 06:37 AM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitchanthropic
Marge: How could you vote for Burns' film?
Krusty: Let's just say it moved me... TO A BIGGER HOUSE! Uh oh, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.
LMAO

Anyways..

Mother Simpson & Lisa: (singing) How many roads must a man walk down,before he becomes a man?

Homer: 7!

Lisa: No dad it's a rhetorical question.

Homer: Rhetorical eh.....8

Also good rep to anyone who can find the quote from the Bi-mon sci fi con from the episode where Homer becomes a bodyguard aswell,btw from that episode...

Bodyguard trainer: BANG

Homer(as he's diving to stop pretend bullet): NO

Trainer:Your dive was good but i didn't believe your NNOOO,remember your NNOOO is what gets you your next job.Now drop and give me 20.

Homer(hands on head): NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO

Trainer: Better.
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Old 12-24-2003, 08:30 AM   #55
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Cult Leader: What do you want?
Stewie: Freedom! What do you want?
Cult Leader: I want to get the hell out of here!
Stewie: Oh I'm sorry, we're fresh out of that. All we have left is untimely death.
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Old 12-24-2003, 12:08 PM   #56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WWEngland
Also good rep to anyone who can find the quote from the Bi-mon sci fi con from the episode where Homer becomes a bodyguard aswell,btw from that episode...
Not sure if this is the one you were talking about, but it's one of my favs from that episode..

Quimby: You call yourselves bodyguards? You're fired!
Guard: Fired huh? Who else are you going to find to take a bullet for you?
Guard 2: ...or have his genitals hooked up to a car batter?
Quimby: I'll tell you who! Him! (points at Homer)
Homer: Woo Hoo!
Marge: I don't think you were listening to what he just..
Homer: (crosses arms) I said woo hoo.
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Old 12-24-2003, 12:16 PM   #57
Wengerland
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Red face

Quote:
Originally Posted by ketchupisyourfriend
Not sure if this is the one you were talking about, but it's one of my favs from that episode..

Quimby: You call yourselves bodyguards? You're fired!
Guard: Fired huh? Who else are you going to find to take a bullet for you?
Guard 2: ...or have his genitals hooked up to a car batter?
Quimby: I'll tell you who! Him! (points at Homer)
Homer: Woo Hoo!
Marge: I don't think you were listening to what he just..
Homer: (crosses arms) I said woo hoo.
Sorry thats not the one i meant,i guess i could be more specific.I meant the actual advert where it has the two people dressed as aliens and one puts on a sort of alien voice and the other speaks normally like "Thats right Phil",but thinking about it that would be funnier as an audio.

Anyway that quote is pritty funny so good rep for you.
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Old 12-25-2003, 05:31 PM   #58
AareDub
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WWEngland
Sorry thats not the one i meant,i guess i could be more specific.I meant the actual advert where it has the two people dressed as aliens and one puts on a sort of alien voice and the other speaks normally like "Thats right Phil",but thinking about it that would be funnier as an audio.

Anyway that quote is pritty funny so good rep for you.
Phil: People of Earth we have traveled all the way from space to attend the most astrotastic event in the entire universe.

Marty: You said it Phil. It's the bi-monthly Springfield sci-fi convention

Phil: That's right, it's Bi-Mon Sci-Fi Con. Come meet all your favorite stars. Mark Hammil, Alf, and many more!

Marty: Plus tag team robot wrestling. It's the mighty robots of Battlestar Galactica versus the gay robots from Star Wars.

Phil: It's Bi-Mon Sci-Fi Con, be there and be square.
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Old 12-25-2003, 07:26 PM   #59
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*peter drops chris off at soccer game, sees quagmire in the stands*
peter: quagmire! what're you doing here!
quagmire: oh you know... soccer moms.
*shows soccer moms sitting in the stands*
quagmire: aha aha... alllllllright.
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Old 12-30-2003, 07:05 AM   #60
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ketchupisyourfriend
Phil: People of Earth we have traveled all the way from space to attend the most astrotastic event in the entire universe.

Marty: You said it Phil. It's the bi-monthly Springfield sci-fi convention

Phil: That's right, it's Bi-Mon Sci-Fi Con. Come meet all your favorite stars. Mark Hammil, Alf, and many more!

Marty: Plus tag team robot wrestling. It's the mighty robots of Battlestar Galactica versus the gay robots from Star Wars.

Phil: It's Bi-Mon Sci-Fi Con, be there and be square.
haha thats the one,i guess an audio would be better so you can hear the accents but still good none the less.Already repped you recently though.
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Old 01-03-2004, 10:42 PM   #61
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Homer: "You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and
then I can continue killing you with beer".

Homer's Brain: "It's a deal!"

or


Homer: "Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or
the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when
they bark, they shoot bees at you"?
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Old 01-06-2004, 09:11 PM   #62
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Peter: "Listen Lois, I know you're a feminist and I think thats adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man."
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Old 01-06-2004, 11:19 PM   #63
Jason Cage
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Peter: (to the Godfather/mafia father/boss): Oh please, I'll do whatever you want. Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack Off a guy?

the scene where hes drawing nude people, and he goes every time

"do i..have to draw the penis?"

(Peter and mafia guy are walking out and there is a drive-by shooting, the mafia guy gets shot in every possible way. Bullets everywhere, the camera sticks on him as he is being shot for over 30 seconds on camera. Finally the mobsters stop and leave. Peter runs up to the dead mafia guy..)

Peter: Holy crap! Hey, are you okay?
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Old 01-07-2004, 08:42 PM   #64
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Stewie (being carried off by an airport security guard while trying to fly to South America to raise an army)
"I knew it, you're one of them! What are they paying you? I'll double it! I'll give you anything you want! Money! Women! ...Men?

Thug 1 in next motel room: Show me the stuff.
Thug 2: Show me the money.
Thug 1: You don't get the stuff till I see the money!
Thug 2: You don't get the money till I see the stuff!
Stewie: Oh there's only one way to put an end to this HE'S WEARING A WIRE!
(Gunshots)

Stewie and his miniature anti-sperm ship:
Stewie: Engine status?
Ship: Nominal.
Stewie: Fuel supply?
Ship: Full.
Stewie: Air Supply?
Air Suppy song kicks in

Stewie to Lois after being left in day care:
You soulless witch! This is a biogenetical experimentation facility! Admit it! Look, if this is about the whole 'me killing you' thing, it was a bit! I was doing schtick I tell you! (Is carried out the door by the day care worker then sticks his head back out) Homina homina homina!
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Old 01-07-2004, 08:59 PM   #65
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Willy: Yeah I bought your little mutt.... And I 'ate him. I 'ate his little face, I 'ate his guts, and I 'ate the way he's always barking. So I geeeve him to the church

Bart: Oh, you hate him so you gave him to the church?

Willy: Aye.. I also 'ate the mess he left on the rug. You heard me!
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Old 01-09-2004, 04:21 PM   #66
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lol seinfeld in family guy is hilarious
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Old 01-09-2004, 07:34 PM   #67
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Lois: Stewie I told you, you can't leave the table till you've finished your brocolli.
Stewie: Then we'll just have to sit til one of us expires, and you've got a good 40 years on me, woman.
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Old 03-17-2004, 08:07 AM   #68
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Peter: I don't know about this, Lois. What if something happens to you? I'm too old to start dating again.

*Dating Game*

Girl: Okay, Bachelor #1, I'm an ice cream cone. How are you gonna eat me?

Bachelor #1: I'd invite my friend Rudy over and the two of us would give you a double dip.

Girl: Ooooh. Okay, Bachelor #2?

Bachelor #2: I'd lick off all the cream and give you my special whipped topping.

Girl: Ha, sounds good. Bachelor #3?

Peter: Ah, well, I would try to eat you really fast before I got flaccid.
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Old 03-17-2004, 12:28 PM   #69
WeAdZ
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Homer : Kids, let me tell you about another so-called 'wicked' guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was ... I forgot .. . but the point is ... I forgot ... Marge, you know who I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car.


Homer: Don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love.


Homer: [leaves a video tape for Marge] Marge, if you are watching this, that means I've got this camera working.
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Old 03-17-2004, 05:02 PM   #70
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Mas Vagina Porfavor
 
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Lois: Peter did you take care of it?
Peter: What, oh you mean that growth? Yeah I took care of it.
~At the doctor's office
Doctor: Mr. Griffin, that's not a growth, that's your penis.
Peter: Oh, but what about the...
Doctor: Testicles.
Peter: Hmmmm.
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Old 03-17-2004, 07:38 PM   #71
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YOU'RE A GREAT BIG PHONY
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Old 03-17-2004, 09:00 PM   #72
Blue Demon
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Lois: peter, can you please do the laundry?
Peter: I dunno...I always lose stuff
*flash back*
Peter: ok...shirt...pants...socks...oh wait...crap...where's the other one
*starts looking in dryer and falls through a hole in the back*
Mr. Tumnus: Welcome to Narnia I'm Mr. Tumnus
Peter: Hey...gimme back my sock you goat bastard
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Old 03-17-2004, 11:54 PM   #73
Shaggy
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For me to post my favorite Family Guy quotes on here I would have to take up like 4 or 5 pages. My cousins and I always watch family guy and everytime I go over there we watch my Family Guy DVD's We almost have every word to every episode memerized. All the greatest quotes come out of E-Mission Impossible. Thats one of the funniest episodes out there.
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Old 03-18-2004, 03:41 PM   #74
MVP
Mas Vagina Porfavor
 
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MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Miz
YOU'RE A GREAT BIG PHONY
LOL
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Old 03-18-2004, 08:04 PM   #75
Shylox
Butterscotch McWilkens
 
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*Peter and a few business men are staring at a dead stripper*
Peter: Ok stay calm. She may have died when you stuffed allt hose dollar bils down her throat I don't know. She may have died when you hit her with the chair. I'm not a doctor. But I'll tell you what didn't kill her,...smoking.

I don't know if thats exactly how he says it but I'm pretty sure it's close.
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Old 03-19-2004, 03:11 AM   #76
Shaggy
Yipee Kai Yay!!!
 
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Say David Banner I Just Slashed Your Tires

RAHHHHHHHH....he he he he im priceless
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Old 03-19-2004, 04:22 PM   #77
Tornado
Tedious Inevitability
 
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"Hey You. Porker. Yes, thats right, i'm calling you a porker and theres nothing you can do about because i'm protected by my impentratable cereal box fort.
Hey You. Drunkie. Yes, thats right, i'm calling you a drunkie and theres nothing you can do about because i'm protected by my impentratable cer*Brian breaks the fort*
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Old 03-20-2004, 12:56 PM   #78
Silent
 
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*Social Worker laying in bed*
Social Worker: Glen honey, I have a question for you. What do you do for a living?
*Quagmire walks in*
Quagmire: I've got a question for you too. What are you still doing here?

*In Joe's Police Van, everyone is listening to Lois' conversation through the headphones, and Peter turns up the power when he starts to lose reception*
Quagmire: Damn this itches...I bet that skank gave it to me when I gave her a ride to the gas station. That's the last time I do someone a favor... Oh god, I think they heard me! OH GOD, I can hear me!!! BUM MUNUH MUNUH MUNUH!!!!!!!!

Quagmire: Is it possible that she is a whore, but you know, only on weekends...to pay for her mother's kidney dialisis...like in my fantasy... You know what, let's start over. Hi, I'm Quagmire!

Quagmire: *standing naked in front of Peter* Does this look like a Q?
Peter: No.
Quagmire: *shifts slightly* How about now?
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Old 03-21-2004, 06:30 AM   #79
Pegasus Crawford
Damn me and my charisma
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Miz
YOU'RE A GREAT BIG PHONY
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Old 03-21-2004, 04:59 PM   #80
Sin Harvest
Strength beyond strength
 
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Dunno if these have been said already, but...

Peter: I don't wanna embarrass her (Lois) again. You gotta help me Brian, teach me how to be a gentleman.
Brian: Well, Peter its not really that hard. Lets start with polite conversation, for example: "Its a pleasure to see you again. Lovely weather we're having," now you try.
Peter: Its a pleasure to see you again. After "Hogan's Heroes," Bob Crane got his skull smashed by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex...how was that?
Brian: Wow, perfect, my work is done! But just for the heck of it, lets try again.
[Later]
Brian: Okay Peter, I was hoping we wouldn't have to resort to shock therapy, but your progress has been...well who are we kidding? You haven't made any progress.

Brian: Face it Peter, you're addicted to television. And you're not exactly "Mr. Cold Turkey" either, remember that time you tried to quit candy?
[Flashback]
Willy Wonka: Okay, I'll ask you again. Are you sure you didn't eat any candy from my factory?
Peter (Purple and rotund, shaped liked a ball): No.
Wonka: Are you sure, cuz...
Peter: What are you calling me a liar?!
Wonka: No! I was...
Peter: Hey shut up Wonka!
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