12-16-2003, 03:48 PM | #41 | |
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12-16-2003, 04:27 PM | #42 |
Sexy Member
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Peter: So whats heaven like?
Apparition of Peter's Black Ancestor: Well, Theres a shortage of chairs (Awkward Silence) |
12-16-2003, 06:45 PM | #43 | ||
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Ha
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Last edited by DXJerky-Version 2.5; 12-16-2003 at 06:46 PM. Reason: made a boo boo |
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12-16-2003, 11:09 PM | #44 |
Leader of my own Fanclub
Posts: 495
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Peter:awh man now that the show is cancled i wont have anything to watch on wensdays... *brief pause* except for the Quality programming on fox
Homer:yeah just throw the raccoon in the arbys dumpster, they'll do something with it |
12-19-2003, 01:01 AM | #45 |
Posts: 345
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Cant remember which actual simpson child said it but I will do it then someone can correct me.
Lisa: "Them Derringer bullets are weak" Bart: "Powerful weak" |
12-19-2003, 01:25 AM | #46 | |
You know that’s right
Posts: 52,684
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12-19-2003, 04:59 PM | #47 |
Posts: 345
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Yeah, I figured I would get the people wrong, but damn if that wasnt just the most rememorable line....
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12-20-2003, 05:52 AM | #48 |
Guest
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Lois: Why don't you go over there and talk to Joe?
Peter: He's probably being interviewed by Barbara Walters or that DRRREAAADFUL Gene Shalit. |
12-20-2003, 07:07 PM | #49 |
YesYesYes!
Posts: 4,163
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I love the Family Guy episode when Brian goes to visit his mom at the farm. I don't remember every word but here goes
Brian: I came here to see my mom Farmer: Alright then who are you Brian: I'm Brian Farmer: Still don't remember Brian: I'm the one that can talk Farmer: Brian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
12-20-2003, 11:42 PM | #50 |
The Next Great One н²
Posts: 18,684
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Skinner: [talking to hamster that 'helped' get skinner and the kids out of the snowed in school] you did it! now, Chew through my ball sack!
Grounds keeper Willie:Okay, Skinner, that's the last time you'll slap your Willie around |
12-21-2003, 12:51 PM | #51 |
Posts: 12
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Dennis Miller: I don't want to go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antietam. I mean when a neo-conservative defenestrates it's like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate...
Peter Griffin: What the hell does rant mean? |
12-21-2003, 02:06 PM | #52 |
I Hate Bottles
Posts: 4,362
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Homer: Lisa, you and your stories. Bart is a vampire, beer kills brain cells, now let's go back to that building thingy... where our beds and tv... is.
(on a related note I'm throwing in a Futurama quote) Q-Bert: Alchohol destroys brain cells Fry: No I'm... doesn't! Homer: If we wanted to see Japanese people we could've gone to the zoo Marge: Homer! Homer: What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese, his name is Tikashi, he's in my book club. |
12-24-2003, 01:01 AM | #53 |
bonjour
Posts: 27,809
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Marge: How could you vote for Burns' film?
Krusty: Let's just say it moved me... TO A BIGGER HOUSE! Uh oh, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet. |
12-24-2003, 06:37 AM | #54 | |
Theo Zagorakis
Posts: 7,148
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Anyways.. Mother Simpson & Lisa: (singing) How many roads must a man walk down,before he becomes a man? Homer: 7! Lisa: No dad it's a rhetorical question. Homer: Rhetorical eh.....8 Also good rep to anyone who can find the quote from the Bi-mon sci fi con from the episode where Homer becomes a bodyguard aswell,btw from that episode... Bodyguard trainer: BANG Homer(as he's diving to stop pretend bullet): NO Trainer:Your dive was good but i didn't believe your NNOOO,remember your NNOOO is what gets you your next job.Now drop and give me 20. Homer(hands on head): NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO Trainer: Better. |
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12-24-2003, 08:30 AM | #55 |
Slackette
Posts: 9,928
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Cult Leader: What do you want?
Stewie: Freedom! What do you want? Cult Leader: I want to get the hell out of here! Stewie: Oh I'm sorry, we're fresh out of that. All we have left is untimely death. |
12-24-2003, 12:08 PM | #56 | |
I Hate Bottles
Posts: 4,362
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Quimby: You call yourselves bodyguards? You're fired! Guard: Fired huh? Who else are you going to find to take a bullet for you? Guard 2: ...or have his genitals hooked up to a car batter? Quimby: I'll tell you who! Him! (points at Homer) Homer: Woo Hoo! Marge: I don't think you were listening to what he just.. Homer: (crosses arms) I said woo hoo. |
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12-24-2003, 12:16 PM | #57 | |
Theo Zagorakis
Posts: 7,148
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Anyway that quote is pritty funny so good rep for you. |
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12-25-2003, 05:31 PM | #58 | |
I Hate Bottles
Posts: 4,362
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Marty: You said it Phil. It's the bi-monthly Springfield sci-fi convention Phil: That's right, it's Bi-Mon Sci-Fi Con. Come meet all your favorite stars. Mark Hammil, Alf, and many more! Marty: Plus tag team robot wrestling. It's the mighty robots of Battlestar Galactica versus the gay robots from Star Wars. Phil: It's Bi-Mon Sci-Fi Con, be there and be square. |
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12-25-2003, 07:26 PM | #59 |
Clutch Poster
Posts: 11,997
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*peter drops chris off at soccer game, sees quagmire in the stands*
peter: quagmire! what're you doing here! quagmire: oh you know... soccer moms. *shows soccer moms sitting in the stands* quagmire: aha aha... alllllllright. |
12-30-2003, 07:05 AM | #60 | |
Theo Zagorakis
Posts: 7,148
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01-03-2004, 10:42 PM | #61 |
IT'S ALL ABOUT OUR THING
Posts: 4,521
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Homer: "You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and
then I can continue killing you with beer". Homer's Brain: "It's a deal!" or Homer: "Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you"? |
01-06-2004, 09:11 PM | #62 |
TAKE IT EACE
Posts: 27,417
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Peter: "Listen Lois, I know you're a feminist and I think thats adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man."
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01-06-2004, 11:19 PM | #63 |
shut the FUCK UP, Donnie
Posts: 9,040
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Peter: (to the Godfather/mafia father/boss): Oh please, I'll do whatever you want. Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack Off a guy?
the scene where hes drawing nude people, and he goes every time "do i..have to draw the penis?" (Peter and mafia guy are walking out and there is a drive-by shooting, the mafia guy gets shot in every possible way. Bullets everywhere, the camera sticks on him as he is being shot for over 30 seconds on camera. Finally the mobsters stop and leave. Peter runs up to the dead mafia guy..) Peter: Holy crap! Hey, are you okay? |
01-07-2004, 08:42 PM | #64 |
Darth Teedious
Posts: 4,634
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Stewie (being carried off by an airport security guard while trying to fly to South America to raise an army)
"I knew it, you're one of them! What are they paying you? I'll double it! I'll give you anything you want! Money! Women! ...Men?> Thug 1 in next motel room: Show me the stuff. Thug 2: Show me the money. Thug 1: You don't get the stuff till I see the money! Thug 2: You don't get the money till I see the stuff! Stewie: Oh there's only one way to put an end to this HE'S WEARING A WIRE! (Gunshots) Stewie and his miniature anti-sperm ship: Stewie: Engine status? Ship: Nominal. Stewie: Fuel supply? Ship: Full. Stewie: Air Supply? Air Suppy song kicks in Stewie to Lois after being left in day care: You soulless witch! This is a biogenetical experimentation facility! Admit it! Look, if this is about the whole 'me killing you' thing, it was a bit! I was doing schtick I tell you! (Is carried out the door by the day care worker then sticks his head back out) Homina homina homina! |
01-07-2004, 08:59 PM | #65 |
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Willy: Yeah I bought your little mutt.... And I 'ate him. I 'ate his little face, I 'ate his guts, and I 'ate the way he's always barking. So I geeeve him to the church
Bart: Oh, you hate him so you gave him to the church? Willy: Aye.. I also 'ate the mess he left on the rug. You heard me! |
01-09-2004, 04:21 PM | #66 |
Lets get serious
Posts: 1,717
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lol seinfeld in family guy is hilarious
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01-09-2004, 07:34 PM | #67 |
Slackette
Posts: 9,928
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Lois: Stewie I told you, you can't leave the table till you've finished your brocolli.
Stewie: Then we'll just have to sit til one of us expires, and you've got a good 40 years on me, woman. |
03-17-2004, 08:07 AM | #68 |
Guest
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Peter: I don't know about this, Lois. What if something happens to you? I'm too old to start dating again.
*Dating Game* Girl: Okay, Bachelor #1, I'm an ice cream cone. How are you gonna eat me? Bachelor #1: I'd invite my friend Rudy over and the two of us would give you a double dip. Girl: Ooooh. Okay, Bachelor #2? Bachelor #2: I'd lick off all the cream and give you my special whipped topping. Girl: Ha, sounds good. Bachelor #3? Peter: Ah, well, I would try to eat you really fast before I got flaccid. |
03-17-2004, 12:28 PM | #69 |
Probably a Legend
Posts: 2,028
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Homer : Kids, let me tell you about another so-called 'wicked' guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was ... I forgot .. . but the point is ... I forgot ... Marge, you know who I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car.
Homer: Don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love. Homer: [leaves a video tape for Marge] Marge, if you are watching this, that means I've got this camera working. |
03-17-2004, 05:02 PM | #70 |
Mas Vagina Porfavor
Posts: 11,343
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Lois: Peter did you take care of it?
Peter: What, oh you mean that growth? Yeah I took care of it. ~At the doctor's office Doctor: Mr. Griffin, that's not a growth, that's your penis. Peter: Oh, but what about the... Doctor: Testicles. Peter: Hmmmm. |
03-17-2004, 07:38 PM | #71 |
Clutch Poster
Posts: 11,997
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YOU'RE A GREAT BIG PHONY
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03-17-2004, 09:00 PM | #72 |
WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,227
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Lois: peter, can you please do the laundry?
Peter: I dunno...I always lose stuff *flash back* Peter: ok...shirt...pants...socks...oh wait...crap...where's the other one *starts looking in dryer and falls through a hole in the back* Mr. Tumnus: Welcome to Narnia I'm Mr. Tumnus Peter: Hey...gimme back my sock you goat bastard |
03-17-2004, 11:54 PM | #73 |
Yipee Kai Yay!!!
Posts: 5,705
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For me to post my favorite Family Guy quotes on here I would have to take up like 4 or 5 pages. My cousins and I always watch family guy and everytime I go over there we watch my Family Guy DVD's We almost have every word to every episode memerized. All the greatest quotes come out of E-Mission Impossible. Thats one of the funniest episodes out there.
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03-18-2004, 03:41 PM | #74 | |
Mas Vagina Porfavor
Posts: 11,343
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03-18-2004, 08:04 PM | #75 |
Butterscotch McWilkens
Posts: 586
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*Peter and a few business men are staring at a dead stripper*
Peter: Ok stay calm. She may have died when you stuffed allt hose dollar bils down her throat I don't know. She may have died when you hit her with the chair. I'm not a doctor. But I'll tell you what didn't kill her,...smoking. I don't know if thats exactly how he says it but I'm pretty sure it's close. |
03-19-2004, 03:11 AM | #76 |
Yipee Kai Yay!!!
Posts: 5,705
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Say David Banner I Just Slashed Your Tires
RAHHHHHHHH....he he he he im priceless |
03-19-2004, 04:22 PM | #77 |
Tedious Inevitability
Posts: 7,521
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"Hey You. Porker. Yes, thats right, i'm calling you a porker and theres nothing you can do about because i'm protected by my impentratable cereal box fort.
Hey You. Drunkie. Yes, thats right, i'm calling you a drunkie and theres nothing you can do about because i'm protected by my impentratable cer*Brian breaks the fort* |
03-20-2004, 12:56 PM | #78 |
Posts: 10,880
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*Social Worker laying in bed*
Social Worker: Glen honey, I have a question for you. What do you do for a living? *Quagmire walks in* Quagmire: I've got a question for you too. What are you still doing here? *In Joe's Police Van, everyone is listening to Lois' conversation through the headphones, and Peter turns up the power when he starts to lose reception* Quagmire: Damn this itches...I bet that skank gave it to me when I gave her a ride to the gas station. That's the last time I do someone a favor... Oh god, I think they heard me! OH GOD, I can hear me!!! BUM MUNUH MUNUH MUNUH!!!!!!!! Quagmire: Is it possible that she is a whore, but you know, only on weekends...to pay for her mother's kidney dialisis...like in my fantasy... You know what, let's start over. Hi, I'm Quagmire! Quagmire: *standing naked in front of Peter* Does this look like a Q? Peter: No. Quagmire: *shifts slightly* How about now? |
03-21-2004, 06:30 AM | #79 | |
Damn me and my charisma
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03-21-2004, 04:59 PM | #80 |
Strength beyond strength
Posts: 144
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Dunno if these have been said already, but...
Peter: I don't wanna embarrass her (Lois) again. You gotta help me Brian, teach me how to be a gentleman. Brian: Well, Peter its not really that hard. Lets start with polite conversation, for example: "Its a pleasure to see you again. Lovely weather we're having," now you try. Peter: Its a pleasure to see you again. After "Hogan's Heroes," Bob Crane got his skull smashed by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex...how was that? Brian: Wow, perfect, my work is done! But just for the heck of it, lets try again. [Later] Brian: Okay Peter, I was hoping we wouldn't have to resort to shock therapy, but your progress has been...well who are we kidding? You haven't made any progress. Brian: Face it Peter, you're addicted to television. And you're not exactly "Mr. Cold Turkey" either, remember that time you tried to quit candy? [Flashback] Willy Wonka: Okay, I'll ask you again. Are you sure you didn't eat any candy from my factory? Peter (Purple and rotund, shaped liked a ball): No. Wonka: Are you sure, cuz... Peter: What are you calling me a liar?! Wonka: No! I was... Peter: Hey shut up Wonka! |