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Old 09-02-2005, 02:19 AM   #1
darkpower
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SMACKDOWN! Captions (9.1.2005)

I get to start the captions thread this time. Here we go:






















































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Old 09-02-2005, 02:50 AM   #2
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Since I started, I might as well get mine done and overwith, too:

HEIDENRICH: Hey, man, come back here. The pudding is one tough opponent. He's was trained by Triple H to never put anyone over. Stay here so I can tell you how to shoot to him properly.


Here, MNM decide to feed Animal to the pudding.



HEIDENRICH: Now my friend, Snisky, will definitly start beating his meat at home. Just remove that other boot and he will definitly blow his load.





While Ken Kennedy pointed out his hooker in the audience, Tony Chimel was daydreaming about how life would be like if he were ever on the same show as Lillian Garcia. He then thanked God he was wearing dark pants.



KENNEDY: He is the man...MR KENNEDY...Keeennnid---mmmppphhhh!


SHARMELL: It's alright, Booker. Sooner or later, Vince will surely stop burying you.


Why was Simon Dean smiling? Well, Batista just got a taste of what Simon Dean REALLY put into that bottle before coming out...and it SURE as hell wasn't milk,



BATISTA: Now, Simon, that milk tasted...different. But let me tell you how to improve that taste. Just take that milk, let it spoil, then pour it into your boot and drink it. I'm sure you'll love it. (think a bit and you will get this one).


Little did Simon Dean know that Batista had a new product of his own, "Batista-wiser," the beer for fitness. It looks as though Simon Dean loved it a little TOO much.


Buchill, SMACKDOWN'S, NUMBER #1, BOTCH-AR!!


RANDY ORTON: And next on the list for the Undertaker Retirement Fund, is this lifelike statue of my own daddy. He's looking great. Hey, he's not quite fit, nor does he escape the washed up has been remarks, but damn it, he's anatomically correct, and that's all that matters.


EDDIE: Please help me, America. Vince has imprisoned me in this hellhole that is the WWE. With your help, I can get out of this prison and into a company that will actually give a fuck about me. Please call 1-888-PRISONSCAPE to send in your donation for my bond now.

-------------------------------------

OK, they're not the best I've come up with. I've been struggling with them these past few weeks. At least I tried this time.
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Old 09-02-2005, 04:03 AM   #3
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Batista: Oh man last night was rough. *takes a swig of milk from his fridge*
Simon: Yeah it was great!
Baista: Dude! My head! My hangover!

You can't Lie,Cheat and Steal and not expect to get caught once in a while.
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Old 09-02-2005, 04:43 AM   #4
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Use your imagination
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Old 09-02-2005, 09:30 AM   #5
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Heindenreich:I'm sorry buddy dont cry i'll be your friend
Mercury:But i loved that puppy sooooooooo much


Heidenreich:You're gonna give me a blowjob and animal is going to watch and then we'll be friends for life


Kennedy:Hey chimmel that guy right there he's a homo.......HOMO


Kennedy proves not only is he talented on the mic he can also levitate....LEVITATE


Sharmell: Booker why in the hell would someone name their kid kennedy kennedy that is just so stupid
Booker:Tell me you did'nt just say that


The real reason chris is laughing is because there was an extra match on smackdown that nobody saw between orlando jordan and josh matthews and oj even lost to him in less than 25.5 seconds


Nick Patrick (Thinking) what would jr say what would jr say oh i got it
Nick:Bah gawd his jaw aint made of chocolate pudding

2 Parter

Sylvan:Sylvan wants a woman to pleasure him

Hardcore: Dont you mean a man to pleasure you cause everybody in the back knows your real name is sylvia.Hey michael cole you like being prison raped so come on up here
Sylvan:Hmmm prison raped sylvia like that idea


Coming to a city near you dave the magician batista with his sidekick barney the purple dinosaur.Dave can produce milk cartons from god only knows where but it is entertaining and wait til you see his trick on how to make triple h disappear

2 Parter

Dave:You know barney
Simon:Uh it's simon
Dave:It's barney now listen to me.You're gonna be my sidekick now and i've got this little bottle of stuff that i found in jbl's locker room that had my name on it so i want you to taste it and see what it does
Simon tasted it and this happened



Dave:HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Meanwhile the ghost of norman smiley comes to the wwe and hits the big wiggle on simon dean


Funaki:Hi mom


Rey: bonzai bitch
Randy:Oh shit


I bet you wont steal somebody's shirt next time will ya eddie....(think about his new shirt)
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Old 09-02-2005, 09:45 AM   #6
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WWE decides to start off Friday night smackdown with a fashion show to hone in on the uber important demographic of 12-18 year old girls




With his big role in the WWE presents the Wizard of Oz coming up, and his stage fright driving him crazy, MNM helps out Animal with his Cowardly Lion faces.


GIRD: Gay Indian Rain Dancing



BATISTA THIRSTY...mmmmmmm


Two Thumbs, One Hole: The Simon Dean Dilemma
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Old 09-02-2005, 09:48 AM   #7
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Call 1-800-555-WWE1 now, and adopt a Guerrerro before its too late
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Old 09-02-2005, 11:08 AM   #8
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Mercury: Damn, man, this cucumber makes me feel uncomfortable.

Nitro: I don't mind it. I mean, hell, as long as she thinks it's real...



Let it be known, if you want to start wrestling. It may look good when you're young, but save your money. It doesn't nearly look as good when you look like THIS...






Not even Cole can bring himself to look at how far Animal has fallen.



Nothing says "Celebrity Superstar" like stomping people down with wind-blown hair.



Mr. Kennedy: I'm about to deep throat this microphone...



Booker T stops him before he had the chance.



When wrestling in Cartoon world, you should never look down...



Ass fisting, as one can tell, is a devastating counter for a cross body block.



Sharmell chokes the Booker Man for telling him she screams like a Banshee.



Orlando: Low Five!



Benoit revealing his thoughts about Shawn whining about how Hulk used Politics to hold him down.



You should NEVER reveal myself to be a green rookie on WWE Television.



And HERE'S WHY!



Even old men need their milk every now and then.



Dave: For the fan that loves me, I'm gonna have to kill you!



Simon: What have I done? I used to be over when I was Nova...



Dave: What's this? An Invisible Crucifix?

Hunter: (Over the PA) I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!



The Number one Announcer on Smack Down is fired after revealing how many times he saw Randy on his knees in McMahon's office.



Randy's bed time story puts Rey to sleep.



Rey: WHY MUST THIS GUY GET A PUSH?



Tragically, Rey dies when his invisible airplane crashes into Mount Orton.



Not satisfied with being Daddy's boy on National Television, Randy finally decides to dress like a 15 year old.



Bob: Let me raise your arm in victory, son... OWWW, MY BACK!



George Micheal has really let himself go.
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Old 09-02-2005, 03:38 PM   #9
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Melina: Ooh! Man boobs!


Mercury: Mommy? Why is this clown feeling me up?
Heidenreich: Friend...


MNM make the ultimate sacrifice: throw Animal to the fury of the X-Pac Sucking Machine.


Heidenreich: I TOLD you not to let Snitsky near your feet! Where's your other shoe?
Melina: My GOD, I don't KNOW!!


Kennedy: That guy right over there?
Chimel: I know what's coming next...


Booker: You gonna eat this microphone, SUCKAAAAAA!!!!
Kennedy: Hey, that's not-- GULP!!


Booker decides to let Kennedy discover the glass ceiling for himself...
Kennedy: "Where? I can't feel it??"
Booker: "Above you."


Kennedy: "Get Black Madusa off of me!!!"


Sharmell: "Booker! How many fingers am I holding up?"
Booker: "I don't know, you're holding them behind me, idiot!"


Orlando: "Oh, hey Mom! Now's not really a good time..."


Chris: "Hee hee! Lookie what I found! It has a flag on it!!"


For his next trick, Sylvain will now burp Stevie Richards while singing the Star-Spangled Banner!


Holly: "I used to be a race car driver."
Sylvain: "No way— Hey, what did that fan just say? I'm the WHAT?"


Dean: "Hey! HA HA!! YEAH!!! Chug, baby!!"
Batista: "Urgh... Batista not feel so good..."


Batista: "Simon...are you, or are you not, touching my butt right now?"


Kid with belt: "Booo! My ScooterMatic 3000 is WAY faster than your piece of junk!"
Dean: "Don't say that! That hurts me inside..."


Batista: "Which thumb should I sick up Simon's butthole?? Huh???"


Burchill: "Here, let me help you, your face was on crooked..."
Funaki: "Oh, thank you... Wait...!"


Rey: "Hey...is that hair real?"
Orton: "Damn straight!"
Rey: "Gurgle..."


Rey: "What have I DONE?!?!"
Referee: "Um...I don't know, what HAVE you done? Feuded with Eddie for a couple of months...regained custody of a child that's really yours to begin with..."
Rey: "ENOUGH!!!"


The referee finally decided that watching a threesome involving Orton, Rey, and Richards was enough for one day and soon left after this picture was taken.


Orton: "And if anybody knows where I can get a cool hat like my dad over here, let me know!"


Bob Orton teaches his son the basics of the crucifix, to prepare for Triple H's return.


"You too can help save an Eddie Guerrero from being put down needlessly. Adopt a Guerrero today!!"
(Warning: Kerwin White is not included in this Adopt-a-Guerrero program.)
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Old 09-02-2005, 04:12 PM   #10
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Booker: Hey Ken, I'd like to show you a new magic trick I learned...it's called SHOVING THE MIC DOWN THE NEW GUY'S THROAT!!
Nick Patrick: oh SNAP!
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Old 09-02-2005, 04:56 PM   #11
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TerranRich is a caption GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD LOL
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Old 09-02-2005, 05:46 PM   #12
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he stole my adopt a guerrero caption!
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Old 09-02-2005, 06:11 PM   #13
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In the grand tradition of wrestling pranksters, no one was safe from... Melina Perez, tickle monster!



JOEY: I can't...

HEIDENREICH: You can! Look at the SVR 2006 roster!

JOEY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



COLE: Irish whip by M--

[Thunk!]

TAZZ: It's the Glass Wall, Cole!



Heidenreich applies the scientific principle to Nancy Sinatra's classic "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" with his thesis entitled "If I take one boot off, will she just spin around in circles?"



JOEY: Um... Should we stop?

JOHNNY: No, he said to keep doing it until he heroically threw us off.

JOEY: I think he's really hurt.

[Johnny stomps.]

JOEY: Hey!



KENNEDY: ...Kennedy!

CHIMEL: Oh, man... Where's a grassy knoll when you need one?



Booker just couldn't stand Kennedy introducing himself as being from "Walla Walla! ... Walla Walla!"



KENNEDY: SPACE CAMP ROCKS!



POWERMAN 5000: And this is what it's like when midcarders collide!



SHARMELL: I'm sorry, baby. What can I do to make it better?

BOOKER: Ugh... You can start by taking your knee off my balls.



BENOIT: THIS IS FOR ALFALFA!



VINCE: Heh. You thought winning it in less than thirty seconds was something...



SYLVAIN: Anyone who remembers who I am, raise your hand. Anyone?



HOLLY: So. You're the new guy with the gay gimmick, right? Well, Vince sent me out here to make sure that it's...believable.



SIMON: That's right! With the new Simon System, you can drink an entire gallon of milk in less than an hour without thr--

BATISTA: [Vomits]



BATISTA: Hey, didn't you used to be over?



SIMON: Dave's so mean! Rocket pogo stick awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!



Not surprisingly, WWE received thousands of angry letters for the "Simon Dean prays to Mecca" segment (despite the fact that Batista seemed to think it was a-okay!).



FUNAKI: Word to the wise. If Vince can exploit your nationality, let him do it. You'll stay around longer.

REF: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

FUNAKI: Uh... Numba one announca! Indeed!



Try as he might, those cookies just weren't coming out.



Not surprisingly, Vader found Rey's lack of faith disturbing.



It's WWE Chicken Fighting! Stevie Richards and his partner, Rey Mysterio versus Randy Orton and his partner...Stevie Richards!



RANDY: Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great privilege that I introduce Tex, the Narcoleptic Cowboy!

TEX: ...

RANDY: DAMMIT!



BOB: No no no! If you're going to punch out the invisible giant, you need to aim higher!



EDDIE: Whoa. Flashback.

Last edited by loopydate; 09-02-2005 at 07:09 PM.
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Old 09-02-2005, 07:05 PM   #14
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Powerman 5000 sings "When Worlds Collide"

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Old 09-02-2005, 07:10 PM   #15
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I know that...
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Old 09-02-2005, 11:29 PM   #16
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LMFAO loopydate, must spread rep and all that crapola.
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