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07-04-2010, 10:26 PM
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#1 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,269
  
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TNA Presents: BALLS DEEP
 PRESENTS... NSFW: show The show begins with a huge pyro display.    The camera pans over the crowd.      The camera cuts to the announce table.  BBQ: Welcome to Balls Deep everybody! I’m Good Ol’ BBQ, and alongside me is my good friend Vietnamese Cripper. Crip’, it’s gonna be one Hell of a show tonight!  VC: You‘re damn right, Barb. I can‘t wait to get balls deep in the action! BBQ: That’s… Interesting. ------------------------------- Match 1: HD Title: VIP vs. Damian Phoenix vs. Dante Montague vs. Rampage vs. Job Loser. POETRY IN MOTION  Mixed reaction.       IT'S LOSE-LOSE, BABY  Zero reaction.       THE PHOENIX WILL RISE  Another mixed reaction.    YO IT'S ME IT'S ME IT'S... V I P  The crowd boo.     GINGERS HAVE SOULS TOO  The gingers in the crowd go wild.  Fan: GINGER POWER!     *DING DING* Montague immediately drops Job with a springboard attack.     Job rolls out of the ring, where Rampage picks him up.     He rolls Job back in, straight into VIP's grasp.    After the big move, VIP covers.   1... 2...  Rampage breaks it up, by picking up VIP.     Until Phoenix appears with a chair in hand.  He cracks Rampage's leg with it.  *THWACK*  Montague goes up top.  He goes for a moonsault.  But Rampage rolls out of the way. 
Last edited by NoJabbaNoBogRoll; 07-05-2010 at 05:48 AM. |
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07-04-2010, 10:29 PM
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#2 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,269
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On the other side of the ring, Job hops up to the second rope.
  He goes for a high-risk move, but Phoenix dodges.    Damian covers...  1... 2... 3! *DING DING DING*  BBQ: DAMIAN PHOENIX IS THE FIRST EVER TNA HD CHAMPION!     BBQ: Great job by Phoenix, and now it's time for our nex- VC: Uh... He's still celebrating.     BBQ: Is he done? VC: I don't think so.     BBQ: Now? VC: Yep. Result: Winner by Pinfall, AND NEW HD Champion: Damian Phoenix. ------------------------------- Match 2: World Midcard Championship: Quadrillus Smith’s Soul on a Pole Match: Trismegistus Smith (c) vs. Soultaker. The soul is shown dangling from a pole.  BBQ: There hangs the immortal soul of Quadrillus Smith. VC: I'm just gonna shut up. The lights go out.     *FWOOSH*   Soultaker: YOUR GRANDPAPPY'S SOUL... BELONGS TO MEEEEEEEE!  Ref: Really? Makes sense. He did seem a little off at his 80th birthday party last week.  Soultaker: FOR THE LOVE OF... 1-2-3 GO!  The crowd cheer.   The referee takes the belt.  *DING DING*  Soultaker makes an immediate dash for the pole.  Until both men are stopped in their tracks.      BBQ: What the Hell is this?!      Cocky grabs a mic and enters the ring.  Cocky: Master... I think I broke the toilet in your locker room.         While Soultaker is distracted, Triz heads for the soul.  He quickly pulls it down.  *DING DING DING*    Triz spots something on the TNAtron.   Quadrillus: Grandson, you have saved me. And by freeing my soul, you have taken the last of the Soultaker's power!  Soultaker: NEVER FORGET THE DONGS!  Soultaker: DONG! DONG! DONG! DONG! DO-  *FWOOSH*  BBQ: BAWGAWD! SOULTAKER IS DEAD! VC: HOLY SHIT!   Result: Trismegistus Smith Retains via Reaching Quad's Soul. ------------------------------- Last edited by NoJabbaNoBogRoll; 07-05-2010 at 05:49 AM. |
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07-04-2010, 10:31 PM
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#3 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,269
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Match 3: Intercontinental Championship: Seymour (c) vs. Bobby Beamer.
THE BEAMCAST IS ON THE AIR  The crowd go wild.    PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT  Decent reaction for the Champ.   Seymour enters the ring, looking miserable.  The ref holds up the title belt.  *DING DING*  Seymour: Let's just get this over with. I don't deserve to live.  Beamer: What's the matter, Champ?  Seymour: I'm sorry, I'm just...  Seymour bursts into tears, and hugs his opponent. Beamer pats him on the back, to comfort him.  Beamer: It'll be alright, little buddy.  Referee: He tapped to the bear hug. Ring the bell! *DING DING DING*  Beamer: What the...  Sonny: You did it, Seymour! You beautiful man!  Seymour: Leave me alone. I'm a disgrace! Result: Seymour Retains via Submission. ------------------------------- Match 4: Street Fight: Madman vs. Sober Joe. YES WE CAN  Mixed reaction for TNA's resident pyromaniac.       NO YOU CAN'T  Another mixed reaction.       Both men seem ready to fight.   *DING DING*  Joe immediately charges in, nailing Madman over the top.   Joe goes out after him.    *SLAM*   Joe places a can over Mad's head, and goes to work with a stick.  *CRUNCH*  Joe then applies a choke.  He eventually breaks it, before addressing the TV audience.  Joe: Watch this.  *CRASH*  BBQ: BAHGAWD! JOE JUST TOSSED MADMAN THROUGH OUR DAMN TABLE! VC: That's totally EXXXXTREEEEEEEME! BBQ: You haven't said that for a few weeks. VC: So, sue me.   Joe closes in, as The Mad One pulls himself off the wreckage.   Mad sees him coming, and is able to shove him into the ring steps.  *CLUNK*  Mad grabs a bag from under the ring, and takes it inside.    BBQ: Thumbtacks!  Mad is straight on Joe, as he gets back in the ring.  Madman goes up top.  Joe has it well-scouted.   VC: Joe has some evil intentions, Barb.     BBQ: THE DESIGNATED DRIVER, RIGHT ONTO THE BAHGAWD TACKS! 
Last edited by NoJabbaNoBogRoll; 07-05-2010 at 05:51 AM. |
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07-04-2010, 10:34 PM
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#4 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,269
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 Joe covers...  1... 2... KICK-OUT!   Mad tries to stand up, and starts to feel the pain of the tacks.   VC: Holy shit!  Joe's anger prevents him spotting Madman's recovery.   BBQ: PSYCHO-CRUSHER!  Instead of going for a cover, Madman heads outside.   He grabs a chair.   He tosses the first chair into the ring, then grabs another.   He places one chair under Joe's head.    Madman: NO... YOU... CAN'T!  *THWACK* *THWACK* *THWACK*  Madman drops the chair, and covers.  1... 2... KICK-OUT!  Madman can't believe it, and heads outside for a table.  He sets the table up, before rolling Joe onto it.  Mad then leaves the ring and grabs a ladder.   BBQ: We've seen Madman use this combination of hardware before!   Madman climbs the ladder, armed with a chair.  *CRASH*  BBQ: BAHGAWD! MADMAN JUST BROKE SOBER JOE IN HALF! 1... 2...  KICK-OUT!  BBQ: What does Madman have to do to put Sober Joe away?! VC: He's hit him everything but the kitchen sink!  Mad quickly sets up a table on the outside.  He then whips out a lighter, and sets it on fire.  BBQ: BAHGAWD! THIS CAN'T BE GOOD!  Joe starts to pull himself up.  Madman continues to stalk him.  Joe: Yes... We...  Madman: CAN'T!  *CRASH*  VC: HOLY SHIT!  Stagehands quickly put out the remaining fire.   BBQ: LOOK AT THE CARNAGE!   Madman slowly crawls.  He flops down, barely covering his opponent.  1... 2... 3! *DING DING DING*  BBQ: Madman found a way to defeat Joe! VC: Both guys are lookin' a little worse for wear, but Madman is gonna be the one feelin' better tomorrow.  Result: Madman Wins via Pinfall. ------------------------------- Main Event: Triple Tower of Death: World Heavyweight Title: Nowhere Man (c) vs. James Steele / TNA Name vs. JWA: Innovator vs. Havok / Danny Electric vs. Manny Rattum.  The camera cuts to the announce table.  BBQ: Folks, we're about ready for the most overbooked and sadistic match in TNA's long history. It's time for the Triple Tower of Death. VC: Why don't you explain the rules, Barb. BBQ: Three singles matches will take place simultaneously, one in each level of this barbaric structure. James Steele will face Nowhere Man, with the World Heavyweight Title on the line, under End of Days rules. This means that Nowhere Man and Steele will need to pin their opponent to the canvas for a 10-count. VC: I'd put money on that match finishing last. Keeping one of these guys down for the count of ten is gonna take something incredible. BBQ: Damn right. In the next cage, Havok and Innovator will battle it out over the name of this great company. Will it be TNA or JWA, by the end of the night? And finally, Danny Electric and Manny Rattum will duke it out for an edge in the race for Intercontinental title contendership. VC: But that's not all! BBQ: You're right, Cripp'. The first man to win his respective match, will be able to join the cage adjacent to his own, and assist his team mate in their match. Should the match in the middle cage finish first, the winner will have a choice of which cage to assist. Then, once a second match has been decided, by pinfall or submission, the winners of both completed matches will be allowed to enter the final cage. VC: So, if your match is the last one still running, you could find yourself the victim of a 3-on-1 beatdown. But, on the other hand, you could find yourself with two partners. Or maybe we'll end up with a 2-on-2 showdown in the final cage! BBQ: Remember folks, superstars may only be involved in pinfalls or submissions, inside their own match. All they can do after that point is assist their team mates.  VC: I'm confused as Hell. BBQ: I think my brain is about to explode.  The camera pans over the impressive structure.  DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU...  The crowd boo as Havok makes his entrance.   Havok psyches himself up.   He then rushes into the cage.   He starts to climb his way to the top cage. 
Last edited by NoJabbaNoBogRoll; 07-24-2010 at 01:26 AM. |
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07-04-2010, 10:36 PM
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#5 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,269
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LOOK INTO MY EYES
WHAT DO YOU SEE? THE NAME OF TNA  The crowd go nuts.        As Inno enters the cage, Havok looks down on him from above.   Inno starts his climb to the top.  MY NAME... IS MANNY RATTUM  The crowd boo heavily.     Manny backs into the cage.  He climbs up to the central cage.   The crowd give Danny a decent pop.     He enters the cage and looks out to the crowd.  He climbs up and joins Manny in the middle cage.  BBQ: Should Danny or Manny win their match in double-quick time, they'll have the choice of which cage to enter next. That's a real tactical advantage these guys are fighting for. VC: You're damn right it is. They could earn the right to assess the situation, and decide which one of their partners needs their help the most. BBQ: That's a great point. BOW DOWN TO THE KING  THE KING OF HEELS  MUA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!     The crowd boo the shit out of Steele.      BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE YOU'RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU DESERVE  The crowd go wild.  Nowhere Man quickly takes his place in the cage.  Steele watches him from across the ring.   As all six men stare down, the cage is locked.  The referee calls for the match to begin. *DING DING*   Havok grabs a steel chair from the cage, and immediately goes for Inno.   Havok grinds the chair into his opponent's face, before Inno can dodge.  In the bottom cage, Nowhere Man splashes Steele in the corner.   He then rains down some right hands.   But Steele counters...   He follows up the spinebuster with a series of mounted punches.  Nowhere Man quickly counters out of the position.   He stomps away at James, until Steele slips out and picks him up.   BBQ: What a backbreaker!  In the central cage, Manny and Danny are duking it out.    Electric pulls some hardware down from the side of the cage, and nails Rattum with it.  He shoves Manny's head into the cage.  Danny then grabs a steel chair.  *THWACK*  BBQ: Manny is busted wide open! |
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07-04-2010, 10:39 PM
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#6 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,269
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In the top cage, Havok is having his way with Inno.
    Havok comes in for a follow-up attack, but Innovator catches him unaware.    After a brief grind, Inno pulls Havok's head back and slams it into the steel.  *KKKSSSHHH*  BBQ: Havok is bleedin' like a stuck NCW fan! Back inside the bottom cage, James Steele is in the process of finding hardware.   After setting up a table, he goes back for more.   He slides back into the ring, armed with the chair.   *THWACK*   *THWACK*  Steele then hastily sets up a ladder.  He climbs it.  Nowhere Man recovers, and goes after him.    BBQ: Nowhere Man with the powerbomb! VC: From Nowhere? BBQ: No... We pretty much saw it coming. VC: I mean, is that the name of the move? BBQ: Fuck knows.  Nowhere Man quickly lays Jimmy on top of the table.    BBQ: BAHGAWD, WHAT IMPACT! STEELE MUST BE BROKEN IN HALF!  In the central cage, Danny Electric follows NM's example, setting up a table of his own.  As he does so, Manny Rattum scoops him up from behind...  And dumps him through the table.  *CRASH* As both men appear groggy, somebody appears at ringside.  BBQ: It's Double-Talk!  DT starts to scale the side of the cage.   As he reaches the second level, Manny spots him.  Manny gives him a nod of approval, as Danny recovers behind him.  Danny tosses a steel trash can to Rattum, and then swings on the ceiling of the cage.  *CRUNCH* The trashcan assisted dropkick sends Manny into the cage, knocking Double-Talk to the floor.   With Manny down, Danny goes for the cover.  1... 2... 3! DANNY ELECTRIC HAS DEFEATED MANNY RATTUM  Danny heads straight for the ladder in the middle of the cage. He starts to climb up. VC: Danny wasn't lying when he said he wouldn't let Jabba change the name of TNA. He didn't even hesitate before heading up to cage number three. As Danny pulls himself up, Havok spots him.  Havok tries to stomp the hands of Electric.  But Inno is quickly on the scene, delivering a bulldog on his opponent, right onto a well-placed steel chair.  *SMACK*  As Danny pulls himself completely into the top level, James Steele has Nowhere Man on the ropes in the bottom cage.  Just as Nowhere Man starts to fight back, Steele pulls something out of his tights and grabs NM's hand.  BBQ: Steele just handcuffed Nowhere Man to the cage!  After a brief grin, Steele starts working over the defenceless Nowhere Man.  Steele then heads to the outside, to bring in yet more weaponry.  He slides the steel steps into the ring.  VC: Uh-oh. Back in the top cage, Danny and Innovator are laying a double beatdown on Havok.  Inno goes nuts.  He chokes Havok out with a chain.   He then continues the stick assault.  Danny gets in on the action.  BBQ: ELECTRIC SHOCK DROP!   Inno grabs a chair.  He smashes Havok with it. *THWACK*  Inno quickly covers...  1... 2... 3! INNOVATOR HAS DEFEATED HAVOK VC: We're stayin' TNA, baby!  Innovator takes a moment to bask in the glory, until Danny reminds him of Nowhere Man's current plight.  Electric: Let's go! Steele continues the beatdown of the helpless Nowhere Man. Inno and Danny quickly make their way through the cages, using the ladders provided. BBQ: Here come the troops! VC: Steele is in big trouble. Steele sees them coming.  Inno immediately launches a chair into Steele's face.   *WHAM* 
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07-04-2010, 10:41 PM
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#7 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,269
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Inno follows up.
  He forces his recent nemesis into the corner, where he continues the beating.    Inno whips Steele into the cage.  *KKKSSSHHH*  Steele tries to drag himself up.  BBQ: STEELE IS A BLOODY MESS!  He manages to pull himself back into the ring.  But Danny Electric is immediately on him, armed with a ladder.  *CLUNK*   *CLUNK*  Danny catapults Steele into the ladder.  *CLUNK* VC: James is gettin' his ass kicked, Barb!  While James bleeds, Innovator frees Nowhere Man from the handcuffs. Nowhere Man starts to move in on Steele, when suddenly...  BBQ: BAHGAWD! SOMEBODY JUST TORE THE DOOR OFF THE CAGE!  BBQ: IT'S THE TANK! BAHGAWD! VC: Looks like Jabba has an equalizer, Barb!  Tank stares down Innovator and Danny Electric.  Danny makes the first move, but Tank catches him.  Electric is launched out of the ring.  Tank then clubs Inno down.   The big man follows up with a five-hundred pound legdrop.  Nowhere Man turns his attention away from Steele, and tries to put a stop to Tank's rampage.  Tank slams the Champ to the canvas... Twice.  Innovator leaps up to the top rope.  He flies into Tank's shoulders, but is caught easily.  Tank swings Innovator into the cage.  *KKKSSSHHH*  BBQ: TANK HAS LAID OUT ALL THREE MEN!  After posing, Tank leaves the cage, and makes his way up the ramp.   The crowd boo heavily.  Danny Electric and Inno remain down on the outside.   James Steele takes the opportunity, and crawls out of the cage.  He starts to climb up the cage.   He crawls onto the roof of the first cage, as Nowhere Man gives pursuit.  Nowhere Man closes the distance quickly.  He pulls Steele down, and nails him with a clothesline.  Steele tries to crawl away.  Nowhere Man pulls him up, but Steele shoves NM into the cage.  James stomps Nowhere down.  He then continues his climb to the top.  Steele peers over the edge, looking for his opponent.  He doesn't notice that Nowhere Man climbed the other side, behind him.  He mounts Steele, and blasts him with right hands.   Steele tries to free himself.  He manages to deliver a monkey-flip...   Which sends both men tumbling to the previous level.    BBQ: This has gotta be over! VC: Don't bet on it, Barb. They're gettin' up already!  Both men climb their way back to the top of the cage.   They tie-up, and start a dangerous dance on the highest point of the cage.   Suddenly, Steele pulls away and reveals a weapon.  He swings it violently into Nowhere Man's gut.  *DOOSH*  Steele grab's the Champ's head, and shoves it between his legs.  BBQ: Here it comes!  BBQ: Here comes the Twisted Steele!  Suddenly, the lights go out. BBQ: What in the Hell is goin' on?! |
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07-04-2010, 10:44 PM
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#8 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,269
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VC: Did we get a power out?        BBQ: What the...  The crowd explode.   BBQ: BAHGAWD! IT'S MVP!  BBQ: AND HE'S GOING FOR STEELE!  BBQ: BAHGAWD! MVP HAS THE WALLS OF PARSONS LOCKED IN!   MVP cranks the move, before finally releasing.  The crowd are still going wild, as MVP starts to climb down the outside of the structure.  BBQ: MVP HAS TURNED THE TABLES ON JAMES STEELE!  Nowhere Man gets back to his feet. He pulls Steele up.  Nowhere scoops Steele into the air, and plants him...   Straight through the cage!   *SPLAT*  BBQ: JAMES STEELE JUST FELL FIFTY BAHGAWD FEET!  Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!  Nowhere Man pauses for a moment, before climbing down the hole. He works his way down the ladders. James Steele remains motionless inside the ring, as the crowd continue to go nuts. Nowhere Man reaches the ring, and covers his opponent.  1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! *DING DING DING*  The crowd explode.    The camera cuts to the announce table. BBQ: The TNA originals fought off Jabba's forces once more, but how much longer can they hold out?! VC: As long as it takes, Barb. TNA for life! After KPW.  Nowhere Man celebrates, as the show goes off the air. Result: Nowhere Man, Innovator, & Danny Electric Win. ------------------------------- |
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07-04-2010, 10:44 PM
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#9 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,269
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CARD
********CARD********
 WORLD TITLE #1 CONTENDER MATCH INNOVATOR vs MADMAN SINGLES MATCH NOWHERE MAN vs THE TANK STRANGE BEDFELLOWS MATCH PART 3: THIS TIME IT'S RETARDED BOBBY BEAMER & DANNY ELECTRIC vs SEYMOUR & MANNY RATTUM HD TITLE TRIPLE THREAT DAMIAN PHOENIX (c) vs VONTAVIOUS IGNACIOUS PORTER vs DANTE MONTAGUE SINGLES MATCH RYAN RAMPAGE vs KIDD JAMISON MVP's HI-LITE REEL RETURNS SPECIAL GUEST: JAMES STEELE DO OR DIE MATCH LOSER WILL BE EXECUTED COCKY vs HELLFIRE BRIMSTONE ********CARD******** Last edited by NoJabbaNoBogRoll; 07-06-2010 at 11:04 PM. |
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07-04-2010, 10:56 PM
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#10 |
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Getting Better.
Posts: 18,807
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My God, Jabba. Never do that again. Too much epic in one show. Also, many a dream was killed tonight.
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07-04-2010, 11:00 PM
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#11 |
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Tazz Dan For God
Posts: 10,210
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WOW.
I kinda saw The Tank return coming but I did not expect MVP. |
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07-04-2010, 11:18 PM
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#12 |
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Getting Better.
Posts: 18,807
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So happy to have MVP back, btw.
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07-04-2010, 11:26 PM
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#13 |
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Hazardous to Your Health
Posts: 18,635
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First time I read a c-fed thread, and it was worth it. Great booking!
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07-04-2010, 11:29 PM
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#14 |
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#1-hhh-fan
Posts: 25,568
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 JS: That went really fucking swell, didn't it? Jabba: ...  JS: I got assaulted by a bunch of fucking midcarders...and then the giant son of a bitch returns and destroys everything and leaves...then my idol makes a fucking epic return to break my heart as I end up plummeting to my demise. Jabba: ...  JS: Jabba, I probably should have gone to the hospital instead of putting on this suit and bandaids and coming here. Jabba: ...  JS: Jabba, you didn't accomplish any of your goals in this match. Jabba: ...  JS: Wait, you knew this shit was going down the whole time didn't you? Jabba: ...  JS: Fucking brilliant... Jabba: How so?  JS: The chase for the belt is always better than just having a dominating reign. Brilliant, I will keep getting closer and closer until I get my belt back in epic fashion. Brilliant! Jabba: Hmm...  Jabba: You do understand that I am not the one who can't get it done, right? JS: ...  Jabba: Destiny is only inevitable if you make it so, and you need to make sure that the destiny you get is the destiny you want. JS: ...  Jabba: I suggest you go to the hospital because things only get crazier from here. JS: ...  JS: I figured that, but we both know what happens next. Jabba: Never trust the bookerman...   |
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07-04-2010, 11:42 PM
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#15 | |
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Tazz Dan For God
Posts: 10,210
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Quote:
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07-04-2010, 11:48 PM
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#16 |
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Whoaball!
Posts: 449
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 Hey, Triz--!  Triz, can we get a few words on your victory?  You people, always wantin' damn words. Yeah, o.k....  Just in case the capacity crowd, the viewers at home, and the boys in the back missed it, I did exactly what I said I would do, and I did it without raising a damn fist.  With haste, determination and sheer skill, I scaled the dreaded pole and captured Papa Smith's soul, raising it high in victory for all the world to see!  And not only did I rescue Papa Smith, but in doing so, I retained my WORLD Midcard championship and subsequently got rid of Janozs Nederlander and his Hot Topc Cult.  By the way, for those of you keeping score at home: Cullen Epic; Jizzton Baldcock; and now The Soultaker makes three. Three men that I've personally banished from TNA.  I've been saying it since I arrived, and I'll say it until I die, I am three times better than anyone else on this roster; I am the One-Man Triple Threat; and I am the WORLD Midcard Champion because nobody here can say otherwise.  Those are my thoughts. Now scram. |
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07-04-2010, 11:58 PM
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#17 |
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Fire Andy
Posts: 13,671
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Man I kinda feel like I have to steal MVP's thunder.
I am not referring to Corndad btw. |
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07-05-2010, 12:22 AM
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#18 |
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Tazz Dan For God
Posts: 10,210
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COMING SOON
The C-Fed C-Section |
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07-05-2010, 12:23 AM
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#19 |
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Tazz Dan For God
Posts: 10,210
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Also, whatever happened to LK's review segment? That lasted all of 2 weeks.
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07-05-2010, 12:24 AM
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#20 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,269
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You'll have to ask him.
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07-05-2010, 12:26 AM
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#21 |
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Future Endeavored
Posts: 11,337
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Great way to end the show. Yes I'm back for a good long stint and I should thank Legend for making me want to come back after reading The Return.
I'll post a classic MVP return promo in the next day or so. |
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07-05-2010, 06:49 AM
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#22 |
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Dangle
Posts: 38,089
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Epic Jabba, Epic.
Also, question. Where is that records page that shows who won what titles and when and stuff? |
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07-05-2010, 06:53 AM
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#23 |
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Tazz Dan For God
Posts: 10,210
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DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU...
 BBQ: Here comes HavoK, he can't be in the best of moods following his loss in the Triple Tower of Death match last night at Balls Deep.  VC: Indeed. It might be time to duck and cover, this guy has a real bad temper.  *HavoK just stands in the ring, staring at the ground*  What can I say? Regardless of the circumstances, I didn't have what it takes to match Inno man for man.  I didn't get the job done. I couldn't get the job done.  TNA, it was nothing personal. I'll see you around.  BBQ: What does this mean for HavoK?  VC: I think he's out of here BBQ.  *HavoK stops on the ramp to remove his jacket*  *HavoK raises his hands to the crowd*  *And bows down before them* BBQ: This is HavoK paying his respects to the TNA faithful. VC: It's good to see that. BBQ: For HavoK this whole thing was about proving his worth against Inno. He doesn't hold ill-will towards TNA or its fans. VC: I guess all I can add is to wish HavoK well in his future endeavors and let him know that the door is always open for him to return here in TNA.  *HavoK leaves the TNArena* |
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07-05-2010, 07:16 AM
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#24 |
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swear count: infinity
Posts: 11,712
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holy shit
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07-05-2010, 08:53 AM
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#25 |
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Getting Better.
Posts: 18,807
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 BBQ: Is that Rattum? VC: Where's his music?  This is not what was supposed to happen.  I was supposed to beat Danny... HavoK was supposed to beat Inno...  This company, right now, should be renamed The Jabba Wrestling Alliance.  But it's not.  And it's... all my fault.  I just hope that Jabba finds it in his heart to give me another chance. I don't really deserve one, but...I owe him one. And I know I can make it up to him... or my name isn't--  ...  Oh, forget it. |
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07-05-2010, 09:32 AM
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#26 |
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Whoaball!
Posts: 449
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 O.k., so like, here's the deal...  So, as you know, Madman cracked my ribs and stuff, right? And then I had this match, see, with Damian Penis, and he totally broke my ribs. Like, completely.  O.k., and so, like, I wasn't supposed to be at Balls Deep last night, 'cause I'm not medically clear to compete, or whatever. Only, I showed up and a buncha guys kept hitting me in the torso? And now I'll be out for three months instead of two.  I mean, like, I guess it's cool, or whatever. 'Cause the doctors had me on, like, 16 different painkillers, and I thought I travelled thru time and was wrestling bears. So the insurance company says it's not really my fault, or anything.  But the fact remains, y'know. Madman injured me, and that's totally lame. And, like, I'm not saying anything. O.k.? But all I'm sayin', is like...dude's gonna regret it.  For serious. |
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07-05-2010, 01:06 PM
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#27 |
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Zombified
Posts: 3,434
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WEELLLLLLL ITS THE TANK!!
YEAH Its the TANK, strolling along! YEAH ITS TANK!! No good can come from wrong. YOU'D BETTER GET OUT OF THE WAY, MAN!! THE TANK IS HERE AND YOUR GONNA PAY, MAN!! ITS THE TANK!!!  *The Crowd BOO*     GIMME The mic!  THE TANK IS FIRED UP!! WOOOO!!! Jabba asked the right guy to come back to lend a hand to James Steele when he was in trouble and I downright hate it when it's unfair!  Now. . .You all know and I know who is the biggest man is in this business. It sure as hell isn't V. I. P. No.. It isn't MR. "BAD MOUTH BEAMER"...no, it's not Tris or Damien. Its Jabba!! Sure, his name was wiped away from the RAW LOGO but we still know who he is and it's greatness! *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*  Yeah. You call me what you want but everybody not on The JABBA TEAM will pay the consequences. STEELE, MANNY, and I will make sure of that and rest assured, if Nowhere Man has something to say about that, then I will run over him like I did last night.  For those of you who don't remember, I was The NCW Hardcore Champion and I am THE TANK! TANK!! TANK!!! |
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07-05-2010, 11:52 PM
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#28 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,261
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Wow, great show, Jabs! Expect a promo from the Mad One tomorrow or page 2.
Trust me on that 
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07-06-2010, 11:04 AM
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#29 |
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Getting Better.
Posts: 18,807
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THIS SUPERSTAR
BROUGHT TO YOU BY:  PUFFS PLUS! A NOSE IN NEED NEEDS PUFFS PLUS, INDEED! AND NOW, HEEEEEEEERE'S YOUR HOST!  *Bobby appears in the ring in the crowd explodes*  Hello, TEE ENN AAAAAAAAAY!  BADMOUTH! BADMOUTH! BADMOUTH!  So. That title match didn't go so smoothly, did it? Never before have I wanted to strangle a referee so thoroughly.  My little buddy Seymour was breaking down on live tv -- I would have offered him a box of Puffs Plus tissues, now with lotion -- but I left mine backstage. So I gave him all I had: A warm hug and an assuring pat on the back.  Well, I know that Seymour knows that wasn't a submission! And I know that Seymour will have no problem whatsoever in giving me another match for the Intercontinental Championship!  As for teaming up with Dirty Electric on this coming Raw...  *Mixed reaction from the crowd*  After everything we've been thru; after all the crap you've done to me... If we can co-exist long enough to defeat a pairing like "The Secret Badass" Seymour Buttz and "The Name" Manny Rattum... I dunno. That might just--  --SHOCK! THE! WORLD!  *The crowd goes nuts at the tease* |
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07-06-2010, 12:32 PM
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#30 | |
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Future Endeavored
Posts: 11,337
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   MVP emerges from the locker room suited up.  The crowd is going berserk for the King of Captions  The fans aren't used to seeing MVP all dressed up. Did somebody die? MVP takes the mic.  MVP: TNA!!! THE KING OF CAPTIONS IS BACK!!!  Massive pop from the fans, especially the frat guys.  MVP: First off, I should apologize for leaving all of you so suddenly after my last run. The recession hit, and like most celebrities, I had some gambling debt in Vegas to hedge my losses in the financial market.  MVP: So because of that I had to lay low for a while. In fact, the last time you saw me I was in a very awkward situation that got me in hot water with the wife. Quote:
 MVP: But those voices aren't telling me to kill anymore. No, they're telling me that TNA needs yours truly once again to put a stop to Jabba's reign of terror.  MVP: Let's be honest, Nowhere Man, Innovator, and Danny Electric didn't need me to win that match. I could have won all three of those matches with my arm tied behind my back. C'mon look who they were facing.  MVP: First we have Manny "Who Gives a Rattum's Ass". While his mother was tucking him into bed at night, I was out winning championships.  MVP: Then there's HavoK who I never actually worked with, but he looks like a hairless ape with gay tattoos. Also has a strange resemblance to Corkscrewed and I don't like that.  MVP: Finally there's James Steele, my old protege who I thought would continue my legacy and make it better. Instead, he's making all the same mistakes I made...and making them even worse.  MVP: Steele you've got balls to try and take down TNA with this "Jabba's Wrestling Club" or whatever you called it. Just like I tried to do with KPW, but it ain't gonna work chump. I helped build this company with the other legends like Nowhere Man, Innovator, and Danny Electric.  MVP: I'm not gonna stand by while you and Jabba try to piss all over what we worked our asses off to create. MVP: So Steele, I invite you to be my guest on the Hi-Lite Reel on RAW. I'll give you a chance to face me man to man and admit your mistakes to the MVPeons around the world. I won't lay a hand on you if you won't, and that's a promise.  MVP drops the mic and walks out to huge cheers. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 17% of males in the audience were members of fraternities. |
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07-06-2010, 02:48 PM
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#31 |
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Zombified
Posts: 3,434
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THEY SAY I'M COCKY AND I SAY WHAT?! IT AINT BRAGGIN MOTHER FUCKER IF YOU BACK IT UP..
    Those were some BIG BALLS from everyone at BALLS DEEP you know but MINE are bigger than them all...ha ha..yeah, I'm not kiddin... Tris, last night, you said you banished Jizzton Baldcock? I was never Banished son, but sure Soultaker was a big dumb shit but he brought me back and I can't forget that. I'm sort of confused but I guess what I'm asking Tris, what do you say you and me, on RAW, in a good old fashion match, not as enemys?  IF YOU PEOPLE WANNA SEE TRISMEGLISTUS VS THE NEW "COCKY" give me a...  FUCK THAT, YOU'RE GONNA WATCH IT GODDAMNIT, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!  So Jabba, you will put us on the card for Monday night in the Main event and I also want Clamato Juice at every TNA event from now on! MARK IT DOWN!! DON'T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE TO YOUR LOCKER ROOM!     
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07-06-2010, 04:49 PM
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#32 |
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Whoaball!
Posts: 449
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 Hey, dumbass! What?  No. |
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07-06-2010, 05:16 PM
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#33 |
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Zombified
Posts: 3,434
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    You disappoint me, TRIS. Your balls have just shrunk down to little bitty pellets.  |
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07-06-2010, 09:14 PM
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#34 |
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Tazz Dan For God
Posts: 10,210
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 Right off the back of an epic Triple Tower of Death Match at the PPV and I am joined by one of the victorious parties, Danny Electric.  Danny, you must be elated. Not only did you win your part of the match but TNA is still alive and well.  That's right! The TNArmy marched into battle and we left victorious! A clean sweep. I beat Manny Rattum and then went on to help Inno defeat HavoK and keep the great name of TNA alive.  Danny Electric has gone down in history as a small part of saving TNA. Y'know, it's so hard to describe how that feels. In fact...come on...  Wait, Danny, where are you going?  *Danny makes his way into the arena as the crowd begin to chant*   *DE surveys the crowd as the volume increases*  This is our house!  *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *TNA* *DE returns backstage*  WOW! You can't beat that feeling.  The TNA name kept intact, Nowhere Man is still World Champion. Is everything as it should be in TNA.  Everything is perfect. NM is still champ. TNA is still TNA. And with the return of MVP the TNArmy is stronger than ever. Well let's not forget that Jabba has recruited The Tank to his ranks.  Have you been hanging out with Dante Montague!? Jabba may well have added The Tank but he's lost HavoK, Manny is moping and Steele seems to be losing faith. Trust me TNA is better than ever and Danny Electric is excited to see what the future holds.  Errrrrrrr...Danny, you do realise that by beating Manny Rattum you are now the Number One Contender to the Intercontinental Championship?  I am!? Man, that must have slipped my attention with all the other stuff going on in the Triple Zinger Tower Burger of DOOM Match. Yes Danny, you have an opportunity to face Seymour for his IC Championship.  Seymour, huh? He seems like a pretty good dude. Should be a fun little match. I'm surprised you're taking that view Danny. It wasn't so long ago that you were adamant about getting the title off an NCW guy...  Wait! What? Are you telling me Seymour is NCW!?  Listen here you no-good, God damn NCW son-of-a-bitch! I'm comin' for ya! I'm gonna rip ya limb from limb! Who the hell do you think you are walking into TNA and taking one of our belts?  Seymour you are in for a world of hurt whenever we meet. I'm gonna send you and all your weirdo buddies into another dimension - a dimension of pain and suffering. No. Wait. Deep breathes Danny, deep breathes. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone off like that. Please continue.  Well that's all from me, here with Danny Electric who will team with "Badmouth" Bobby Beamer to face Seymour and Manny Rattum this coming week on Raw.  Wait! What? Beamer!?!?! Last edited by XL; 07-07-2010 at 06:08 PM. |
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07-06-2010, 09:25 PM
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#35 |
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Getting Better.
Posts: 18,807
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LARGE FONT.
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07-07-2010, 06:32 AM
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#36 |
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Tazz Dan For God
Posts: 10,210
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For the whole thing? It looks fine to me!?
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07-07-2010, 07:47 AM
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#37 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,269
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After the large TNA chant, everything is huge.
I thought the joke was that they were shouting, to be heard over the crowd. |
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07-07-2010, 08:08 AM
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#38 |
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#1-hhh-fan
Posts: 25,568
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 DANNY ELECTRIC CLASSIC IS NOT PLEASED... |
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07-07-2010, 08:13 AM
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#39 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,269
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Neither is the Holy Bible Kid, by the looks of it.
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07-07-2010, 08:34 AM
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#40 |
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#1-hhh-fan
Posts: 25,568
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DE Classic > The Holy Bible Kid
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