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08-10-2010, 03:31 PM
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#1 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,288
  
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TNA Presents: HEAT STROKE
 PRESENTS...  The show begins with a huge pyro display.      The camera pans over the crowd.      The camera cuts to the announce table.  Sack: Welcome to TNA Heat Stroke! My name is Ray Sack, and it's both an honour and a privilege to be given the opportunity to call this show. Alongside me is TNA's regular colour man, Venetian Crippler.  VC: Uhh, sure... Anyway, this is gonna be a hot show, Ray. You really picked a good time to enter TNA, because this card is stacked. Ray: It sure is. Before we go on, to show the world just how tolerant TNA is of other races and cultures, let's hand it over to the brand new Spanish announce team. Here are Jorge El Mango, and Carlos Chiquita.  Jorge: Gracias tanto, Ray y Crippler. Hola a todos nuestros espectadores hispanos, como preparamos para la exposición más grande en la historia de TNA. Carlos: Ah sí. Yo simplemente no puedo esperar los iguales para empezar. Las estacas nunca han sido más altas, para muchas superestrellas de TNA esta noche.  Jorge: ¿Entonces qué esperamos nosotros? ¡Sigamos adelante con la exposición! ------------------------------- Match 1: Hellfire Brimstone vs. El Kabong. KABOOOOOOOONG!  No reaction for the newcomer.     YOU WILL BURN IN HELLFIRE  Minimal reaction from the crowd.   Staredown time.   *DING DING*  Kabong: Buenos el referee. El taco stain on your shirto!  Ref: Thanks, buddy.  With the ref distracted, Kabong grabs a guitar.   Kabong: KABOOONG!  El Kabong covers.  The ref slides in to make the count.  1... 2... 3! *DING DING DING*  Result: El Kabong Wins via Pinfall. ------------------------------- Match 2: Kidd Jamison vs. Jeff Clark. I'M DONE KIDDING AROUND  No reaction for Kidd.      EMBRACE THE GRIND  The crowd silence continues.   Sack: Nice push-offs by Jeb Clark!   *DING DING*   They tie up.   Clark gets the advantage.   He grabs Kidd, and nails a huge backdrop.   He continues the assault, ramming Jamison into the corner.   He lines up an Irish whip.   He tries to follow up with a clothesline, but Jamison ducks under it.   VC: I guess Jamison is done Kiddin' around. Sack: And Spark does not look happy about it!   Clark rolls back into the ring, rubbing his nose.  He pins Kidd in the corner.  Jamison manages to kick the bigger man away.   Kidd hops up to the middle rope, and flies. 
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08-10-2010, 03:34 PM
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#2 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,288
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 But Jeff catches him in mid-air, and slams him with authority.   Sack: THE MEAT TENDERIZER! VC: That's Meat Grinder. Ya know, his nickname is "The Grinder".  1... 2... 3! *DING DING DING*  Sack: Impressive showing from the veteran. VC: That was his first match.  Result: Jeff Clark Wins via Pinfall. ------------------------------- HE IS COMING...  TO TNA ------------------------------- Match 3: Damian Phoenix vs. Rodney Oculus. SEEING IS BELIEVING  No reaction for the rookie.      THE PHOENIX HAS RISEN  Mixed reaction for Damian.    Sack: Here comes Daniel Phoenix, the man who has a world title shot in the bag. VC: Unless Jabba can find where he hid the damn HD belt.     Staredown time.   *DING DING*   Rodney gets the better of the slugfest, and hits a nice backbreaker.    Oculus sees the opening, and stomps away at his opponent.   He pulls back, and stalks Phoenix.    Damian ducks under, and rolls him up.   1... 2... Kick-Out!  Sack: Damian Phonesex came close to picking up the win! VC: Yeah...  Phoenix grabs Rodney.  But Oculus powers out of the position.    Phoenix is up quickly.   And knocks Oculus out the ring.   Damian takes a moment to taunt the crowd.  Phoenix: WHICH ONE OF YOU HOMOS IS NEXT IN LINE?!  Fan: BOOOOO!!!  While Damian isn't looking, Rodney hops up top. Unfortunately, Phoenix spots him just in time.  Sack: Nice left hand from Damian! VC: Right hand... Sack: When they broadcast the signal, the picture is reversed. VC: No, it isn't.  Damian goes up.   VC: This looks bad for Rodney!   He nails a huge superplex!  Phoenix springboards.    Sack: What a flipper splash! VC:   He hooks the leg.  1... 2... 3! *DING DING DING*   Result: Damian Phoenix Wins via Pinfall. ------------------------------- Match 4: World Midcard Championship: Trismegistus Smith (c) vs. Rampage. GINGER POWER  Not much reaction for the ginger rookie.    Sack: Fanpage has quite a complexion. VC: Yeah...   1-2-3 GO!  The crowd give some cheers for the champ.    Rampage looks on, as the ref holds up the belt.  
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08-10-2010, 03:37 PM
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#3 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,288
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Staredown time.
  *DING DING*   Triz whips his opponent into the ropes.  He then nails a big shoulder block.  He goes for another whip.  But Rampage grabs the arm and drags him down to the mat.  He locks in a jaw hold.  Triz battles to his feet.  Rampage doesn't let him build momentum, and forces him into the corner.   The referee forces Rampage to break the hold.  Triz pulls himself up.  Rampage comes in, but Triz hits a huge arm drag.   Rampage is up quickly, but walks straight into another one.   Smith keeps the pressure on, and runs his opponent into the corner.   VC: Ouchie-Baba!  Triz follows him to the outside.    *DUNK*  The referee tells Smith to take the match back inside the ring.  Ref: Take the match back inside the ring!  Triz rolls Rampage into the ring, and then follows him in.  As he winds up a big right hand, Rampage counters and scoops him up.    Sack: Nice mat-toss from the challenger!  Rampage covers.  1... Kick-Out!  Rampage doesn't let up, and beats down the champ.   He then lines up.    Sack: Saying Red! VC: Seeing Red.   Rampage circles Triz, pondering his next move.       Smith stalks his opponent.    Sack: And there's the third A.D.D. in a row!  1... 2... 3! *DING DING DING*  VC: That was freakin' amazing! The way Triz turned this match around, that was just outta this world! Sack: It was mind-blowing, alright! I bet they'll never let us show that again!  The crowd cheer for the epic turnaround victory, as Triz celebrates.   After Smith leaves the ring, Rampage gets his senses back.    Somebody jumps the guard rail.   Rampage is still confused, and doesn't see him coming.  *THWACK*   VC: Who is this guy?!   *THWACK*  The man scoots Rampage out of the ring, with the chair.   He admires his handywork, before making his exit. 
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08-10-2010, 03:40 PM
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#4 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,288
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 Sack: He certainly made a statement with that steel pipe!    The man looks back to see Rampage squirming in pain.   Result: Trismegistus Smith Retains via Pinfall. ------------------------------- Match 5: World Tag Team Titles: Danny Electric & Sober Joe vs. Manny Rattum & The Tank.  MY NAME... IS MANNY RATTUM  The crowd boo, much to Manny's amusement.      WEEEEEELL... IT'S THE TANK, Y'ALL HE'S BIG, HE'S BAD HE'S GONNA GETCHA STROLLIN' ALONG, OH YEAH GET OUT THE WAY, DAWG HE'LL RUN YOU OVER 'CAUSE HE'S SO BIG, 'N' STUFF YEAH, AND WHEN YOU THINK HE'S DONE HE RUNS YOU OVER SOME MORE, DAWG 'CAUSE HE CAN'T BE STOPPED ON ACCOUNT OF HIM BEIN' BIG AND FAT, Y'ALL NO, REALLY JUST TRY TO STOP THIS SUMBITCH DAWWWWWG   Sack: Here comes The Plank! VC: I give up.        The crowd cheer loudly.      Sack: Harry Electric has a chance to strike a blow for TNA.   YES WE CAN  The cheers continue.     Sack: Soda Joe looks intense, tonight.      All four men stare down across the ring.  The referee holds up the brand new TNA Tag Team Title belts.  *DING DING*  Danny immediately goes after Manny.  He shoves him onto the middle rope.   He takes a run-up.   And leaps onto Rattum's back.   Electric then slingshots over the top rope for a rope-assisted neckbreaker.    Manny catapults into the middle of the ring.  Danny goes in after him, and picks him up.  Manny ducks his head, and scoops Danny up with his neck.     Sack: Smooth move! VC: I think Manny learned that one from his Daddy.   Rattum crawls into a cover.   1... 2... Kick-Out!  He drags Electric over to his corner, and tags in the Tank.    Tank immediately holds Danny in the corner, and pummels him.   
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08-10-2010, 03:43 PM
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#5 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,288
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 Tank tries to pick Danny up, but is met with an eye gouge.  It is enough to put the big man down, temporarily.  Danny climbs up top.  He waits for Tank to get back up.   Danny flies, but the Tank catches him.  And plants him down hard.   Tank yells incomprehensible babble at the crowd, while stomping the shoulder of Danny.   Sober Joe looks on from the ring apron.  The Tank tags Manny back into the match.    Manny goes for a big clothesline, but Danny has the same idea.    Sack: Both men are out cold! Ring the bell! VC: Uhh... Actually, they're getting up...  VC: See?  Manny tries to throw a punch, but Danny ducks underneath and lifts him up.    Danny crawls to his corner, and reaches out for Joe's hand.  Joe just stares at Danny, and doesn't extend his arm.  Danny tries to move closer, but Joe walks away from the corner.  Sack: What is this!? Sober Jack refuses to be tagged in!  Manny starts to laugh.  Joe gives another dismissive glance in Electric's direction.   Rattum climbs to the top rope, and starts to celebrate.    Suddenly, an evil look comes across Joe's face.  He comes up behind Manny.     Sack: The Disgruntled Driver!   The Tank sees the development, and gets visibly angered.  Joe rushes him with a high kick, knocking the big man out of the ring.   Danny crawls over to Rattum, in the middle of the ring.  He hooks the leg.  1... 2... 3! *DING DING DING*  VC: TNA bringin' home some gold, y'all!   Result: Winners by Pinfall, and NEW TNA Tag Team Champions: Danny Electric & Sober Joe. ------------------------------- THE HOTTEST FREE AGENT IN C-FED HISTORY  COMES HOME IN TWO WEEKS ------------------------------- Match 6: Intercontinental Championship: Seymour (c) vs. Bobby Beamer. THIS SUPERSTAR BROUGHT TO YOU BY  NATURAL LIGHT! MAKING IT OK FOR MEN TO HAVE EMOTIONS WITHOUT GETTING TOO TOO GAY ABOUT IT  The crowd go nuts.  Crowd: BOBBY! BOBBY! BOBBY!   Sack: The people really dig "Loudmouth", don't they? VC: Whatever.   PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT  Mixed reaction for Seymour.      The referee takes the belt, and shows the world what is up for grabs.  *DING DING*   They tie up, in the time-honoured fashion.  Bobby applies a headlock, before shooting Seymour into the ropes.   Seymour ducks under the clothesline, and keeps going.   Beamer tries to drop down to allow Seymour to pass over him, but the Champ takes him by surprise with a roll-up.   1... 2... Kick-Out!   Beamer applauds the impressive move. 
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08-10-2010, 03:46 PM
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#6 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,288
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They lock fingers.
 Beamer gets the advantage, and sends Seymour into the corner of the ring.  Seymour springs up above his opponent.  But Bobby catches him with his shoulders.  Sack: Nice rack! VC:   Seymour spins his legs out, and traps Bobby's head.   Seymour cranks up the pressure.  Beamer manages to clutch the ropes, and the ref orders Seymour to break the hold.   Seymour signals for a high-impact move.   He tries to lift Beamer up, but is reversed.  But not for long, as Seymour goes a victory roll.  1... 2... Kick-Out, but Seymour flips straight into another pin.  1... 2... Bobby turns the tables, into a cover of his own!  1... 2... Kick-Out!  Bobby is up first, and stomps away at the Champ.   After a brief stalk, he shoves Seymour into the corner.   Beamer climbs up top, and takes Seymour with him.    Seymour reverses.     Sack: The Sayonaracanrana! VC: That would actually be a pretty cool name for that move... I'd be impressed, if it didn't already have a different name.  Seymour covers...   1... 2... KICK-OUT!  Seymour can't believe it.  Suddenly, Sonny appears on the apron.  Sonny: Hey! Referee, look at me! I'm poised to interject myself into this match, illegally!  Seymour: What are you doing? I don't need your help.  Ref: Stay out of the ring, Sonny! I'll keep my eyes firmly locked on you for about thirty seconds, just to make sure you don't try any funny business!  Dementia rolls into the ring with a steel bar, and goes straight for Bobby.  *BONK*  VC: Beamer is out cold!   Dee: Yay! I did good! Yeee-Haww!  Sonny: Quickly, make the cover! The match is yours!  Seymour: No way. I won't be a part of this.  As Dementia finally leaves the ring, the referee turns round and spots Bobby's unconscious body.  Ref: He's out. The match is over! *DING DING DING*  The crowd boo, as Sonny parades the IC title around the ring.  Seymour looks on, disapprovingly.   Beamer's eyes finally open, allowing him to observe Sonny hugging the reluctant victor.  Result: Seymour Retains via KO. ------------------------------- Match 7: Loser Will Never Show Their Face In TNA Again: Innovator vs. Havok. REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH  The crowd cheer.    Sack: Here comes Incubator. His name will forever be associated with TNA.    DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU...  The crowd boo.     Sack: Haddock really looks like he means business! VC: Haddock?! I wondered what that smell was.   
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08-10-2010, 03:48 PM
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#7 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,288
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 They stare down, as the ref searches them for foreign objects.     *DING DING*  They tie up, and Havok shoots Inno into the ropes.  Inno ducks his attack, and lands a big kick.  Havok quickly recovers and grabs a headlock.  He picks his opponent up for a suplex.  Inno manages to slide off unharmed, but Havok takes him into the corner.    The big man lands a couple of solid shoulder thrusts.   He allows Inno to stand back up.  Havok comes in, but Inno ducks under and hoists him up.  VC: Inno could go for the IPS! Havok manages to power off, and shove his opponent out of the ring.   Inno clutches his leg in pain.   Ref: One... Two... Three...  Inno makes it back into the ring, but Havok is waiting for him.  He scoops Inno up.   After the big slam, he covers.  1... 2...  Kick-Out!  Havok charges in, but Inno ducks and sends the big man into the turnbuckle.  Inno takes a run-up.   He connects with a flying knee.   While in position, Inno hops up top, and turns Havok around.  Sack: He's in position for Pure Immolation!  Havok muscles free, knocking Innovator to the mat.   VC: Looks like both men know how close that was!  Inno regains his composure first, nailing a dropkick.   Inno goes up top.   He flies, but Havok catches him in mid-air.  Inno squirms out between the big man's legs, and rolls him up.   1... 2... Kick-Out!  Both men work their way back to their feet.    Inno rushes in, but Havok catches him with a stiff clothesline.   Havok follows up by applying a camel clutch.    Innovator struggles, and refuses to tap.  Havok breaks the hold, and pulls his opponent up.   He sets him up.  Inno grabs the top rope, to avoid being bombed.  Havok eventually pulls him free.  Innovator manages to slide down Havok's back.  He hits the big man with a nice kick.   Havok rolls to the outside.  He grabs a sledgehammer.  Havok tosses the hammer into the ring, right in front of the referee. Ref: Hey, you're not allowed to do that.  Ref: Don't let me catch you trying to break the rules, Havok. |
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08-10-2010, 03:50 PM
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#8 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,288
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 Havok watches as the referee calls someone down to collect the hammer.  Ref: Someone come down to collect this hammer!  VC: Havok's got a chair in his other hand! Turn around, ref!  Inno spots Havok wandering on the outside, and goes for a high-risk move.   Havok swings the chair, with the ref's back still turned.  *THWACK*  Sack: Immo just got clocked!  Havok rolls Inno back into the ring.  He goes in after him, and stalks his wounded opponent.   As Inno pulls himself up, Havok boots him in the gut.    Sack: Here it comes!   Sack: The N-Bomb!  Havok covers. 1... 2... 3! *DING DING DING*  VC: Holy s##t! Innovator is done! He can never show his face in TNA again!   Sack: He served TNA well. In-Line Skater will be sorely missed.   VC: I can't believe what I'm seeing. Innovator has been the face of TNA for years!   The crowd boo Havok, while also applauding the efforts of Innovator.    Result: Havok Wins via Pinfall. ------------------------------- Match 8: Steel Cage Match: James Steele vs. Michael Vincent Parsons.  Sack: There's the steel cage, everybody.  Sack: Boy, I'd sure hate to be stuck inside that thing.  Sack: Two men will enter, but only one will leave as Champion. VC: There's no belt on the line. Sack: ... Man, that cage looks brutal!  BOW DOWN TO THE KING... THE KING OF HEELS  MUA-HAHAHAHAHA!!!!  The crowd boo the house down.    Steele enters the cage.      The crowd start to cheer.   Suddenly, Steele races up the ramp and blindsides MVP.   Steele immediately pulls him back up, and tosses him into the railings.   James heads off to grab a steel chair.   MVP pulls himself up, as James stalks him.  MVP spots him coming, and nails a big right hand.   Parsons takes a second to shake the cobwebs out.  He then starts dismantling the announce table.  He pulls Steele up, and rolls him onto it.   MVP goes up with him, and prepares to deliver a big move.  Steele lands a couple of shots to the gut, as both men struggle for position.  They both go for a move at the same time, with disastrous results.  *CRASH*  Sack: Pearson and Stale just went through that table!   As MVP pulls himself up, James rolls to the apron and searches for hardware.  He pulls out a barbed wire bat, followed by a sledgehammer.   James hooks the weapons onto his arm and tights, and then starts to climb the cage.  
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08-10-2010, 03:53 PM
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#9 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,288
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MVP is close behind him.
 James reaches the top, and rolls over to the top rope.  MVP grabs his arm, and pulls it through the side of the cage.  Steele tries to free his arm, but MVP cranks on it.   Steele manages to pull his arm free, and climbs down to the mat.  MVP reaches the top of the cage, with James keeping a close eye on him.  Steele starts to climb up to cut him off.  MVP makes it all the way over, but Steele grabs him by the ankles.  MVP starts to unload punches on Steele.  Steele grabs MVP's legs.  MVP clutches the cage for dear life.  Steele manages to break his grip, and plants him in the middle of the ring.   VC: Whoa! That's gotta hurt!  As Steele stands over his opponent, the referee finally locks the door and starts the match.   *DING DING*  James wraps a steel chain around his hand.   MPV staggers up, but has no idea where Steele is.  James clocks MVP in the side of the head, with the chain.  *SMACK*  Steele laughs, causing the crowd to break out in boos.  He pulls MVP up, and shoves his head between his soft tender thighs.   MVP is having none of it, and reverses him.  Sack: Here come the Halls of Parsons!  Steele uses his strength to counter.   He catapults MVP.  But Parsons manages to land safely on the middle rope.  Steele doesn't give him time to mount an offence, and grinds him into the cage.  Steele then starts stomping away for good measure.  James heads to the other corner, and grabs the barbed wire 2x4.   MVP starts to pull himself up.  Steele comes at him with the weapon.  But MVP takes him by surprise, kicking it back in Steele's face.  *SHRED*  Sack: John Steele is bleeding like a Jamaican mule!  After a quick stomp, MVP weighs up his options.  He goes for an MVPeonsault.   But Steele kicks the referee into the ropes, sending MVP down hard.  Steele crawls to MVP's body.  He makes a cover.  1... 2... Kick-Out!  Steele mounts MVP and starts laying down serious punishment.  He covers again.  1... 2... Kick-Out!  Steele backs off momentarily, allowing MVP to stand up.  As Steele comes in for another attack, MVP catches his leg.  Parsons stomps away at Steele.  He stops a moment to pump up the crowd.  Steele starts to crawl towards the edge of the ring.  With a sudden burst of life, James springs up and starts climbing over the cage.  MVP is quickly on him, and drags him down onto the top rope.  Steele isn't done, and pulls MVP down between his legs.  MVP wriggles free of the position, and drops into the middle of the ring.  Steele follows up quickly.  He pulls MVP into position again, this time with a steel chair below them.   VC: Not on the steel chair!  MVP counters.  Sack: He's got the Malls locked in! |
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08-10-2010, 03:55 PM
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#10 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,288
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 MVP cranks it up.  MVP: Tap out, bitch!  *Tap-Tap-Tap*  MVP continues to crank the hold, until the referee breaks him off.  *DING DING DING*  As the crowd go wild, MVP climbs to the top of the cage to pose.   Sack: MVD did it! He defeated Janice Steele!   VC: Chalk another win up for TNA, baby!  Result: MVP Wins via Submission. ------------------------------- Main Event: World Heavyweight Championship: Nowhere Man (c) vs. Madman.  The camera cuts to the announce table.  VC: Ray, we're live! Sack: Sorry everybody... Just finishing my burrito. VC: Well... Uhh... Time for the main event, folks!  THE FOLLOWING MATCH IS RATED M  Mostly boos for the Mad One.   Sack: Nadman has the opportunity to become TNA Champ once again! VC: But, you're not even in this match. Sack: I don't get it.    BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE YOU'RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU DESERVE  The crowd explode.  Crowd: YEEEAAAHHH!!!        The referee takes the belt, and displays it for the crowd.  *DING DING*   After a brief staredown, they go at it.  Madman starts a corner beatdown.  Nowhere Man turns the tables, and rams his opponent's head into the turnbuckle.  He then runs him to the other corner, to sample a different buckle.   Madman drops to a knee, and NM then uses the middle turnbuckle.  Nowhere whips Madman into the ropes.   And clotheslines him over the top.    Sack: Knitwear Man is on fire!  Mad tries to crawl away, but NM is on him.   *CRASH*  NM lifts his opponent up.   And backdrops him on the floor.   NM pulls Madman up once more, and rolls him into the ring.   VC: The Mad One needs to turn the momentum, and fast!  Nowhere Man gets back on the attack.    Madman pulls himself up in the corner, as NM charges in at him.   Suddenly, Madman explodes.  Sack: Psycho-Cashier!  1... 2... KICK-OUT!  Madman is in disbelief. 
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08-10-2010, 03:57 PM
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#11 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,288
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Suddenly, someone appears on the ramp.
 VC: Not this shit again...    Job leaps onto the apron, and takes off his jacket.  He catapults towards Madman.   But the Mad One easily ducks out of the way.     Job rolls out the ring to lick his wounds.  Madman forces NM into the corner, and punches him in the head.  Mad twists an arm, and climbs to the top rope.  NM manages to shake him off, causing Mad to land on the rope.  VC: Right in the nuts!  NM nails the splash from Nowhere.  Mad collapses on the mat.  Nowhere Man makes the cover.  1... 2... Kick-Out!  NM wastes no time, and grabs Madman by the legs.   He locks in the Deathlock from Nowhere.   Madman cries out, and frantically tries to reach the ropes.  NM sits back on the move.  The referee asks Madman if he's had enough.  Madman's hand hovers over the mat.  Sack: Will he tap out?! Suddenly...    VC: HOLY S##T!  Nowhere Man breaks the hold and looks out at the ramp, as more men come down to the ring.   They circle the ring, and point their bats inside.  NM and Madman look as though they don't know what to make of it.   The men dressed as Nowhere Man swarm the ring, beating the crap out of both competitors.  *DING DING DING*   VC: Who the f##k are these guys?!  The mystery men toss Madman and Nowhere Man out of the ring.     The crowd are in stunned silence, as the show goes off the air.  Result: No Contest (Nowhere Man Retains). ------------------------------- |
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08-10-2010, 03:57 PM
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#12 |
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Gnome Laughing Matter
Posts: 12,288
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CARD
********CARD********
 LIVE FROM BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS WORLD TITLE REMATCH NOWHERE MAN (c) vs MADMAN SINGLES MATCH HAVOK vs MVP SINGLES MATCH DANNY ELECTRIC vs THE TANK SINGLES MATCH JAMES STEELE vs SOBER JOE TAG TEAM TITLE #1 CONTENDER TOURNAMENT 1 THREE-LINE STANZA: TRISMEGISTUS SMITH & DANTE MONTAGUE vs RED HOT: RYAN RAMPAGE & HELLFIRE BRIMSTONE TAG TEAM TITLE #1 CONTENDER TOURNAMENT 2 BEAMOUR: BOBBY BEAMER & SEYMOUR vs EYE-BALLIN': RODNEY OCULUS & VONTAVIOUS IGNACIOUS PORTER SINGLES MATCH DAMIAN PHOENIX vs KIDD JAMISON MIDCARD TITLE #1 CONTENDER MATCH JEFF CLARK vs EL KABONG TNA'S NEXT TOP ANNOUNCER TRY-OUTS SIGN UP IF YOU WISH TO ENTER ********CARD******** Last edited by NoJabbaNoBogRoll; 08-10-2010 at 06:18 PM. |
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08-10-2010, 04:29 PM
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#13 |
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Future Endeavored
Posts: 11,337
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Great show Jabba. Glad to finally have a win at Heat Stroke too.
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08-10-2010, 04:35 PM
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#14 |
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Hockey Superstar
Posts: 11,385
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Glad to see the shows are still as good as when I left.
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08-10-2010, 04:42 PM
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#15 |
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Fire Andy
Posts: 13,676
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That's a really cool ending.
Lol Innovator lost. |
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08-10-2010, 04:56 PM
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#16 |
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Zombified
Posts: 3,435
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 MVP: Guess us TNA fellows really kicked your asses earlier, didn't we?  I mean, you really honestly thought we'd let you and Manny be TNA champions? To represent US?!  Ha. You really think you and Manny really deserve to be TNA?  You're even lucky to be able to step foot in our after party you worthless..  ..Oh look theres Havok..What a bitch. I'd like to kill him for what he did to Innovator.  Now what was I saying, oh yeah..thats right, you NCW are nothing more than waste of skin and it will be a matter of time before we get rid of you. Enjoy your night, loser.  Oh GOD!! What is that?!  Hm. Looks to me like the Salmon is a couple years old. Last edited by Kid Zombie; 08-10-2010 at 05:17 PM. |
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08-10-2010, 04:56 PM
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#17 |
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Tazz Dan For God
Posts: 10,227
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OMG. Jabba, take a bow.
That was the best show I have read in ages. I'd even put it above Mania. And it looks like a stacked Raw too. Sure you wanna put all that effort into a RAw? Promo coming up shortly. |
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08-10-2010, 05:16 PM
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#18 |
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Dangle
Posts: 38,090
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Amazing.
Fucking absolutely amazing. |
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08-10-2010, 06:28 PM
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#19 |
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Tazz Dan For God
Posts: 10,227
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 *The entire TNA roster is positioned at the top of the ramp*  VC: Ladies and gentlemen you join us on a sad, sad day for TNA.  Sack: That's right, HeatPoke saw the debut match of Jeff Clark. VC: No you moron. HeatStroke saw the last match of TNA Legend Innovator. *We join HavoK leading proceedings in the ring*  Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to pay our final respects to our friend and colleague, Innovator. As you will see we have been joined by TNA stars past and present...  *The camera pans through the group and picks out an upset Tank*  *...Azriel...*  *...Thunder...*  *...Loose Cannon...*  *...and The Naitch*  Sadly, one man could not make it here in person. But he did send in this message...   Inno, you were the best this industry has seen. You being here makes me better, makes me want to keep proving that I am as good as you. Inno, you were the measuring stick by which we should all be judged.  *Steele wipes tears from his eyes*  Inno, I'm sorry to see you go old friend. But rest assured that I will not stop until that sack of shit HavoK pays for wh--  OK, that'll do. Heralded as one of the very best this industry has ever seen, his accomplishments include a TPWWE Championship reign and right here in TNA he is a former TNA Tag Team Champion, a 2-time TNA X-Division Championship and a 2-time TNA World Champion. Innovator lived for TNA. He was it's beating heart.  And at HeatStroke I ripped that heart straight out of the chest of TNA and I held it in my heart as it slowled to a stop.  But please, do not hate me. I have done all of you a favor. Innovator was a sociopath. What kind of example is that to the world's children?  If one child is spared a life of bullying because his or her classmates will no longer feel compelled to mimic Innovator's cruel tactics then all this will have been worth it.  But tonight is not about that. Tonight we put to rest the career of "The Ace" Innovator.  *The audience break down in tears*   In Loving Memory Innovator 2004 - 2010 |
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08-10-2010, 06:47 PM
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#20 |
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Zombified
Posts: 3,435
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Man..How long are we gonna be out here?  I knew I shouldn't have eaten that Salmon.. |
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08-10-2010, 09:13 PM
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#21 |
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Hockey Superstar
Posts: 11,385
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 Clark: Hey! Teddy! What's up? Teddy Schlong: Not much, what about you? Clark: Well, if you're asking what's up, it's my penis, because I'm excited that I just won my first match...  Clark: ...or maybe it's because I just saw a pretty little blonde thing. Hey Teddy, who's the hottie next to you? Teddy: It's Tiff, she works here. Tiff: You talking about me as if I wasn't there disgusts me.  Clark: That's because you see me as a rookie still. Tiff: No, it's your manners more than anything. Clark: You say that now, but how would you like to go on a date with the guy who might get to be the guy who might get to be World Midcard Champion??? Teddy: That's a pretty good deal if you ask me!  Tiff: That's still pretty far away from being champion. Plus, you kinda smell funny. Are you still wearing your wrestling outfit? The PPV has been over for a while. Clark: ..it's been like, what? Half an hour, an hour maybe? Teddy: More like 7 or 8 hours, Jeff. Clark: ...but who's counting, really?  Clark: Plus, this isn't about my body odors. This is about my match against El Kabong! I have been in this federation for two weeks, and I'm already in line for a chance to be in line for a title belt! Teddy: Gotta say that's impressive. But do you know that Kabong guy well? He seems dangerous with his guitar and everything.  Clark: See, that's why I haven't changed yet! When they announced the match for Raw, I was so excited that I went to catering to get myself a sandwich while I watched all the tapes of El Kabong's matches in TNA in order to study his style! Teddy: You mean you rewatched the first two minutes of the PPV again? Clark: ...Yeah! I didn't even have time to finish my sandwich!  Teddy: So, how are you gonna counter his devastating guitar? Clark: ...I haven't really figured it out yet. I thought about buying a couple of guitars to bash myself in the head with, you know, to build resistance or something. That's pretty expensive though.  Clark: OH WAIT I GOT IT! Tiff: Really? And what is it gonna be?  Clark: ...I'll just duck the damn thing. Come on guys, it wasn't that hard to come up with.  Clark: Anyway, I'm gonna go shower now. Stay sharp little lady, if you're lucky, I might take you out for a beer when I win the Midcard Title! Tiff: We'll see about that. Teddy: ...I'd go for a beer if she doesn't. |
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08-10-2010, 09:36 PM
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#22 |
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Fire Andy
Posts: 13,676
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I am offended by Havok's promo.
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08-10-2010, 10:07 PM
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#23 |
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Getting Better.
Posts: 18,815
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THIS VIGNETTE
BROUGHT TO YOU BY  FLEXI! THE LEADER IN LEADS! AND NOW HEEEEEEEERE'S YOUR HOST!  So, instead of just manning up and wrestling me...you got your woman to do your dirty work again.  And then you decided to celebrate? Really?  Well, pardon me for being a cynical prick, but I don't think our team's going to do so well in that tag team tournament. You already have your team, and I'm not on the roster. I get it.  I've bent over backwards trying to make things work with you. And you don't want it? You'd rather slink around and turn what could be a lucrative partnership into a pit of festering rivalry? Fine, do what you want.  But, as I sit in my studio with another concussion, I will say this with aaaaaawwwll the severity I can muster: Whatever happens on Raw, Seymour...  Keep your little bitch on a leash. |
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08-10-2010, 10:39 PM
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#24 |
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Getting Better.
Posts: 18,815
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 Well done, Danny: you finally got a partner that wasn't entirely worthless. Your angry team of Luddites is really shaping up.  Just think! Your next partner might be able to wrestle without injuring people with sloppy maneuvers! Won't that be grand?  And in that respect, well done Joe: you gave Danny the win by spraining my neck with that clumsy Designated Driver. You may be the best plan Danny's got: send the lumbering dumbass into the fray and simply break everyone with a respect for the future.  Well, guess what, you fat piece of crap: You'd better enjoy your revenge while it lasts, because as soon as I'm cleared to compete, I'm laying your gelatinous ass out once and for all! ForuMania, Heat Stroke -- they'll be footnotes compared to what I do to you next.  You came this close to taking me out permanently and -- once again -- you fell short of getting the job done.  Well, I've had it! No more Mister Nice Guy! When I'm back on my feet, the Dukes -- no, the Sentinels are coming-- *crack*  nnnnn~!  Watch your backs, boys.  Now you've pissed us off. |
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08-11-2010, 12:18 AM
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#25 |
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I'm Brllnt!
Posts: 3,112
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  Here comes Kabong!  Little to no reaction for the newest superstar  El Kabong: Mi victoria over Fugeo de Infierno Brimstone was step uno in mi quest to glory!  El Kabong: Now then, I have una message for senor Clark!  El Kabong: I will defeat you! And if senor Triz is watching,I have una message for him: You are about to witness the hombre that you take your Midcard Championship! You don't believe me? *sees the Cowboy behind him* KABONG! *nails him*  El Kabong: That awaits the both of you! |
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08-11-2010, 12:49 AM
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#26 |
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DEAD
Posts: 11,712
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lol Jabba
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08-11-2010, 01:59 AM
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#27 |
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Oh no, there goes Tokyo.
Posts: 7,895
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Awesome show, Jabbs. Expect to hear from the World and IC champs very soonish.
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08-11-2010, 04:42 AM
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#28 |
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Whoaball!
Posts: 449
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 Triz! If I could get your thoughts on your victory at Heat Stroke and the assault on Rampage after the match...?  Rampage is a tough son of a bitch, no doubt about that. But I did what I said I would do: I took him on face to face, I overpowered his unfocused rage, and I walked out with my WORLD Midcard Championship. Whatever happened afterward is no concern of mine.  Oh. O.k. Well, what's your strategy heading into the Tag Team Tournament on Raw?  Another match pitting yours truly against The Red Menace, Rampage. Another chance to prove that anger alone does not a wrestler make. Another chance to knock the virginger down a peg on the title shot list. I'm looking forward to it.  But wait! He's teaming with the monstrocity called Hellfire Brimstone! And I'll be partnered with...Dante...Montague.  I'll put it out there right now: I don't want to be on a two-man team. But in a tournament of three matches, when during the last bout my team has won, thus having three titles between us... That sounds just fine by me.  But we know that I can handle Rampage; that means, by simple deduction, that I can handle Brimstone. But can Dante? Will Dante even bother showing up? Or will he run at the sight of a challenge, like so many others before him?  I'm already a champion, Dante. Do you have what it takes? |
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08-11-2010, 05:03 AM
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#29 |
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Time to Nut Up or Shut up
Posts: 2,804
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 I thought I had it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,after all this time I thought I had this match won. After all this time I thought I could get you fans attention. That I could show you that I wasn't a fluke.  That I wasn't just another guy. Because I am not just another guy. Who am I? I am Kidd Jamison. I am the guy who single handedly took out VIP on his own show. And yet still, still I'm being looked at as some joke. I'm being looked at as just another average Joe.  Well let me tell you something I am more then just some average Schmuck with good hair, good complexion , and great well, darn near everything else. I am more then just a man who has had sex countless times. Unlike maybe for example Jeff Clark.  Who I am still not convinced that he 's either not gay or not a Virgin. But, what is done, is done. Kidd never dwells on the past. What I am going to do however is take all my frustrations take all my anger, take all my  Take all my energy put it into a box and do something that VIP couldn't do and that is beat Damian Phoenix. But with all this pain and frustration beating around in my head. I don't think I'm really content on just beating Damian. I am going to destroy Damien Phoenix.  Cause now I have got something to fight for, Now I have got something to seek revenge for. In the losing circle is not my Natural Habitat. I have always been a winner for as long as I can remember. And that's exactly what I'm gonna be at Raw. A winner! Rest assured with this kid come Raw there will be no kidding around |
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08-11-2010, 09:55 AM
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#30 |
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Zombified
Posts: 3,435
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WEEEEEELL...
IT'S THE TANK, Y'ALL HE'S BIG, HE'S BAD HE'S GONNA GETCHA STROLLIN' ALONG, OH YEAH GET OUT THE WAY, DAWG HE'LL RUN YOU OVER 'CAUSE HE'S SO BIG, 'N' STUFF YEAH, AND WHEN YOU THINK HE'S DONE HE RUNS YOU OVER SOME MORE, DAWG 'CAUSE HE CAN'T BE STOPPED ON ACCOUNT OF HIM BEIN' BIG AND FAT, Y'ALL NO, REALLY JUST TRY TO STOP THIS SUMBITCH DAWWWWWG  Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!      Tank: LIVE From Boston Massachusetts!!! VC: Um..we're in Nebraska...  We bring you Total Nonstop Action right to your living rooms! To your Digital TV SETS! To you, you old men in their underwear. To you little ones about to break each others necks trying to imitate us. To you mothers out there..trying to get rid of our sport! VC: What is he trying to say?  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!! WELCOME TO RAW IS JABBA!!!!! Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! VC: It's not Raw yet.  A lot of superstars and folk around here say I'm not TNA. Pft..I just saw a sign up sheet in the back to be the next TNA commentator. So I signed up and I was just practicing.  You want me to do it again?  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Dear god..Please no.   Gee..I guess you are saying that it is perfect!! WELL THEN!!! HAha! For all of us at TNA, and FLEXI, the Leader in leads...Thank you and GOOD NIGHT!! |
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08-11-2010, 11:15 AM
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#31 |
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Future Endeavored
Posts: 11,337
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  Out comes MVP to roars from the crowd. Sack: It's the Live Legacy, Michael Vincent Parsons! VC: That's Living Legend...  Sack: Whatever his name is, he looks like he's proud of his decisive win for TNA last night.  MVP: At Heat Stroke I single-handedly beat Jimmy Steele by making him tap out to the Walls. That win wasn't just for me or the MVPeons, but for TNA itself.  MVP: I'll admit that Steele gave me a run for my money, but I came out of the cage victorious because that's what Living Legends do.  MVP: So it's safe to say I've eliminated one of the threats to TNA. Danny Electric and Sober Joe made TNA proud by defeating Fanny Rattum and The Skank for the Tag Team titles.  MVP: And although he probably doesn't need my help, I've got Danny Electric's back any time he needs it.  MVP: But there's one person who can't ask for my help because he's not in TNA anymore...and that's Innovator.  MVP: Inno and I put on some of the best matches of my career. He and I were allies in Hollywood Connection and later he was the guy to beat me for the TNA World title. Inno was the embodiment of TNA's glory and it's a huge loss to us all that he was forced to retire.  MVP: Which brings me to my next point. HavoK, you've been unsuccessfully trying to kill TNA since you came back. I was preoccupied with Jimmy Steele, but now you've made an enemy out of me.  MVP: You had no place coming here and trying to end the career of a TNA legend. I take that as a slap in the face to me, the fans, and TNA itself.  MVP: I will avenge Innovator by defeating you one-on-one in the ring on RAW.  MVP: And don't think you can call Jabba's lapdogs to help you either. The rest of them couldn't beat the true blood of TNA, and I'm in the best shape of my career.  MVP: Inno and I climbed to the top of the ladder at the same time. I will continue his legacy by making you tap out on RAW, just like I did to Steele.  MVP: And then you and your boys will realize why TNA is #1. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 69% of MVPeons believe that Innovator was MVP's greatest opponent. |
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08-11-2010, 05:32 PM
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#32 |
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Tazz Dan For God
Posts: 10,227
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 Hey there. You must be TNA's MVP.  It sounds like you already know who I am, but let me remind you...  I am the man who single-handedly killed the career of "The Ace". I am the man that ripped out the heart of this company, the man that tore down the foundations of TNA. And I will be the man that stands tall as TNA crumbles around him.  Whilst "Jabba's Boys" Steele, Manny Rattum and The Tank all limped away from HeatStroke defeated, I stood victorious.  I did exactly what I said I was gonna do and ended the career of the beloved Innovator.  And on Raw, MVP...you're...next. Don't say I didn't warn you... Last edited by XL; 08-11-2010 at 06:03 PM. |
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08-11-2010, 09:04 PM
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#33 |
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Time to Nut Up or Shut up
Posts: 2,804
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 VC: Well folks we welcome you back to TNA. And it seems like our resident ghost whisperer is here to say something. I like this guy for one.  Now, I know that most of you probably think I'm out here to bitch and moan. About how I deserved to be at that PPV. And I know I deserve to be in more then just a tag team. I know that you people might think I'm out here to see dead people.  But, no I am not out here to do any of that. I am a man who takes care of business. VIP is all about business. And that's why I am out here. I want to end this whole J Dogg thing right fucking now.  I know some one is behind this and I wanna know who it is right now. I am not fucking crazy. Somebody is just trying to make me think I am. Someone is trying to make me crack. And then they can watch my decline. I've got my own ideas who this person is and after this match at Raw I am going to find out who is doing this to me if I have to take out any and every wrestler until I get an answer. After I win the match with Rodney I will find out every piece of info that I can. VIP is not crazy. But once I find who this person is I'm gonna kick his ass |
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08-11-2010, 10:19 PM
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#34 |
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Getting Better.
Posts: 18,815
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 Double Talk, thanks for giving us a moment of your time. Can you give us your reaction to Heat Stroke?  There were certainly some surprises, Tom, surprises, Tom. I really didn't expect Steele to lose his match, lose his match. Truth be told, I didn't expect HavoK to win, to win. And that main event, main event...that went pretty crazy, pretty crazy.  Overall, I'd say it was hell of a show, of a show.  What about Manny's match? And is he o.k.?  Manny's match was great, until he got duped, got duped. If I were Manny, I'd've wanted someone ringside to make sure goofy stuff like Joe's antics didn't screw up the match, up the match.  Manny's fine, though, fine, though. A little pissed, but he'll be back in action in no time, no time.  That's great! When will you two be back to Raw? Oh, I'm headed to Boston now, Boston now.  I do have priorities outside of Manny, of Manny. I'm not his butler, or something, or something.  Anyway, I gotta get goin', champ, goin', champ. I've got, uh...stuff to do, stuff to do.  Awesome! What kinda stuff?  It's a secret, secret. What kinda secret?  Don't make me slap you, slap you. |
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08-12-2010, 02:22 AM
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#35 |
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Whoaball!
Posts: 449
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 Oh, hey, Madman. What's up?  Queer.  So, check it: My ribs are healing, right? So my stupid doctors are cutting down my medication and stuff. But it looks like their stupid asses are finally blessed with a smart...ness. But not for them -- for you!  Only, you might not think it's so smart at all. You might think it's stupid. But it's not. You're stupid. And it's good for me, so I say it's great! And smart!  I don't even care, like... Um...  Hold up...  ...  God! I was totally going somewhere! It was all hardcore, too!  Screw it. I'll tell you later. Dingus. |
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08-12-2010, 11:12 AM
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#36 |
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Eye of the Storm
Posts: 236
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I've got my own ideas who this person is and after this match at Raw I am going to find out who is doing this to me if I have to take out any and every wrestler until I get an answer. After I win the match with Rodney I will find out every piece of info that I can. VIP is not crazy. But once I find who this person is I'm gonna kick his ass SEEING IS BELIEVING    Vonty, I gotta hand it to ya........ You are crazy.  Crazy talented.  Somebody may be messing with you, but now is not the time to play detective.  You need to see the bigger picture. We're only two matches away from a shot at tag team gold.  We couldn't ask for a better start. Our opponents don't see eye to eye on anything.  While they're busy keeping one eye on each other, we'll be keeping our eyes on the prize.  It's time for us to let TNA see exactly what the future looks like. |
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08-12-2010, 12:01 PM
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#37 |
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Zombified
Posts: 3,435
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 Well, Mr. John...Hellfire...Brimstone. Was beating that old woman out in the parking lot worth it? Now you don't look so tough, big shot. I gotta an eye to knock your ass out and teach ya some manners. Where I come from, YOU DON'T HIT A FUCKING BITCH!!! YOU CAN CALL THEM A SLUT BITCH! CUNT! WHORE! AND SKANK! BUT NEVER LAY A FUCKING HAND ON EM! Unless of course you're tapping that ass. You know what I mean? Heh heh.  .......  Officer Long...Mr. Brimstone has a match on TNA Raw that he needs to get to. No one can make bail and he doesn't have any money. Oh, yeah..You's a Rastler? Who ya rastlin' big boy? Hm?  Its a tag team match and I am team up with a guy name Rampage and we are facing a Mid-Card Champion, Trismeglistus and poet named Dante. Huuhaha! Their names make em sound like a couple a queers. Huuhuaha! As I was saying..If all goes well, we might become the New TNA Tag Champions. Aw hell, you can't stay here, you gotta get to your match. Just don't hit anymore old broads. K?  You're free to go.  UGH! After being there, I'm am no longer gay.  Hey there..Don't I know you? You're on TV right? YES! Come on baby let's go and I will fuck you till it hurts so I can release my RAGE!!  I will beat your ass instead of old bitches for driving too slow! |
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08-13-2010, 04:25 AM
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#38 |
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Oh no, there goes Tokyo.
Posts: 7,895
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 Seymour: So Beamer's still all mad because you keep interfering in my matches with him, to the point where he's starting to use bad language like he's hinting at a heel turn. And he said that when we're tagging on Raw, I need to "keep my little bitch on a leash." So I guess you know what that means.....  ....you're not allowed to come to the ring with me this time, Sonny.  Sonny: First of all, screw you, Seymour. Secondly, he was clearly talking about Dementia, what with her propensity to make with the blunt force trauma on Bobby's skull. And thirdly, I wouldn't bother coming to your match even if you begged me, because frankly, I've got better things to do on Raw.....  ....like becoming TNA'S NEXT TOP ANNOUNCER!!!!!  Terrance: If I may....Sonny, there's no way you can be TNA's Next Top Announcer. You have no virtually no experience on the headset, you've got a voice like two cats having sex while being thrown into a blender, and frankly, everyone hates you. I mean everyone. HATES you. Plus, I should be the one trying out, since I was an announcer for a spell....if you'll pardon the Necromancy pun.  Sonny: Exactly! You've already been an announcer before! Which means it's my turn!  Seymour: Okay, well, I'm still not particularly comfortable about my match. I mean, Beamer and I were actually working pretty well as a team for a little while, but now he's all angry and cussing out my girlfriend. And then I've got my actual opponents to worry about.  Dementia: Oooh! I can bring out a cheese grater and shred VIP's balls if you want!  Seymour: Okay, one? Don't, just...don't ever do that to any man, ever. Second? Beamer really doesn't want you out there, and if you show up he might go all stupid and cost us the match. And third? Considering VIP got his balls shrunk by Terrance the last time he and I were in a match together, I think the poor guy's scrotum has gone through enough trauma at our hands.  Dementia: Ugh, Beamer's still mad at me?! All I did was hit him over the head with a crowbar on numerous occasions! Why does he have to go and be such a whiny little wuss about it?  Seymour: Dee, Bobby's on our side this time. If you start with the name-calling, he's just going to--  Dementia: ATTENTION, BOBBY BEAMER! QUIT WHINING LIKE A LITTLE SISSYPANTS! I ABUSE SEYMOUR WAY WORSE THAN THAT AND HE NEVER COMPLAINS! TAKE YOUR MASSIVE HEAD WOUNDS LIKE A MAN!!!  Seymour: Thanks, Dee. I'm sure that really.....smoothed things over.  Dementia: YAAAY! I'm a vital contributor to this program!  Seymour: .....yup, you sure are......*sigh* |
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08-13-2010, 04:39 AM
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#39 |
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Dangle
Posts: 38,090
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 Rampage: Terminator, who the *BLEEP* do you think you are? You come down to the ring... MY RING!!! And attack me?  Rampage: You are a *BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEEeeeee.... Goddamn Fucking Bitch Audio Technician: He broke the fucking censor... Rampage: When I get my hands on you, I will snap that freaky ass little fucking neck.  Rampage: You for weeks now have interrupted my promos with your cryptic goddamn messages. If you were anything but a pussy fucking sneaky bastard, you would have faced me mano-o-mano and actually fought a fight not attack me from behind with a fucking chair.  Rampage: So I am telling you right now, you creepy little fucker, get your goddamn ass down to the ring before I have to come looking for it cause you are going to pay and pay dearly for being such a BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!! Audio Technican: Hey, got it working again! |
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08-13-2010, 04:54 AM
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#40 |
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Dangle
Posts: 38,090
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 Damian: My my my, Rattum Oddball, you really got nothing do you. I dont know why I waste my time with such lackluster challenges.  Damian: Jabba really needs to get his shit together and give me a match worthy of my talents and not against some homo who spent more time looking at my ass during the match then trying to kick it.  Damian: So Jabba, I implore that you give me someone who isnt going to want to stick his cock in my rear during the match. Damian: Then again, that doesnt leave many people for me to face, so I guess Jabba does what he has to do to keep me occupied.  Damian: So when someone with a bit of talent wants to face me, by all means please come forward and give me a challenge. Since my return to TNA I havent had ANY worthwhile competitors, ANY worthwhile challenges and I am wrestling a bunch of brainless retards. Hell my sister is dating this redneck who slept with his sister and had some kid who is completely fucked in the head. I may show him to Jabba, hell he will likely be main event in this federation. I can see where Jabba is coming from, he has vision and there are a select few in TNA who are worthy of my facing me but Jabba needs ratings and me beating the everloving crap out of one of my fellow superstars is likely not what he has in mind.  Damian: So for now I guess, I will waste my time fighting homos and retards until I pass this arbitary deadline Jabba has in his head and finally face someone with some real talent.  Jamie Benn: Werent you crapped out of Lardo's ass at one point in your career? Damian:...  Damian...... ..... ..... I got nothing. |
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