Tazz Dan
03-29-2010, 12:54 AM
For those too lazy to find the front page. Plus it's a bit 'rofl'
Source: Triple A
WrestleMania 26 Intro
WELCOME TO TONIGHT’S COVERAGE BY TRIPLE A.
Live from Phoenix, Arizona
Announcer welcomes the “ladies and gentlemen” to WrestleMania.
“Multi platinum recording artist” and “8 time Grammy nominee” Fantasia sings “America the Beautiful” while there are shots of deserts and birds and grains. Some waterfalls.
Some shots of ethnic children.
Army bros.
Crowd cheers for her.
Alright.
WrestleMania intro package is played, hyping up the card and whatnot.
“Slim Jim and WWE present the entertainment spectacular, WrestleMania.”
Some pyro.
Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler announcing.
Michael Cole calls the University of Phoenix Stadium “the big toaster” for some reason.
First match is The Miz & Big Show vs. R-Truth & John Morrison.
The Miz & Big Show vs. R-Truth & John Morrison – Unified Tag Team Title
R-Truth comes out and raps. Some white woman in the crowd really enjoying it.
Gets into the ring and says, “WrestleMania! What’s up!”
Cole welcomes us to WrestleMania again. He, Lawler, and Matt Striker are announcing.
Cole introduces the Spanish announce team. One of them says something in Spanish.
John Morrison comes out.
The Big Show and Miz come out together to no reaction.
The bell rings.
John Morrison and The Miz start off.
K-Kwik jumps in and “fucks up” The Miz but the Big Show is tagged and comes in and gives R-Truth a fall away slam. Shoves Morrison off the apron with one hand. Goes up to the middle rope but is kicked in the face by Morrison. “A lil payback!!!” – Michael Cole
Morrison comes in and does some sweet stuff.
R-Truth jumps to the outside onto Big Show but Show catches him and slams him into the post outside.
Morrison tries to do some moonsault off the rope but The Big Show was tagged in before and he punches Morrison in the face? And he pins him.
what
Winners: The Big Show & The Miz
Recap of WrestleMania Weekend
Bunch of clips recapping all the stuff that happened, including:
Cena on Jimmy Fallon.
Fan Axxess.
Shows a bunch of foreigners who came here “just to see WrestleMania.”
WrestleMania art show.
WrestleMania golf tournament. Sgt. Slaughter “sinks a shot” and says “that’s how you do it, baby.”
WrestleMania “reading challenge” with some lil kids. Some guy talking about changing the lives of individuals with this.
Chris Jericho on Lopez Tonight.
Some other shit.
Next match is Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes
Ted DiBiase comes out first.
Cody Rhodes next.
Orton comes in. Looking very handsome.
Rhodes and DiBiase try to corner Orton but he rolls out of the ring… Rhodes follows him out but Orton quickly rolls back in and clotheslines DiBiase.
Rhodes and DiBiase finally take down Orton and start to “pummel” him as the crowd boos.
They take turns stomping at him.
They take turns holding Orton as the other punches and kicks him.
Crowd booing.
Double suplex on Orton. DiBiase plays to the crowd as they boo.
Taunts Orton, saying things like, “come on Randy!”
Stomping at Orton in the corner as the crowd sounds annoyed.
Orton suddenly gets a new breath and tries to fight back for 8.5 seconds, but DiBiase clotheslines him and down he goes again. Rhodes and DiBiase continue to double team him.
Rhodes goes to the top rope and DiBiase goes for a pin. Rhodes runs down and pulls DiBiase off of Orton and gets in his face, then throws DiBiase out of the ring as the crowd cheers.
Rhodes tries to pin Orton but DiBiase comes in and breaks up the near fall.
They get in each other’s face and DiBiase punches Rhodes, then they start to “brawl” while Orton recuperates. DiBiase runs at Orton but he tosses him out of the ring. Orton “fucking destroys” Rhodes, then Orton.
Orton gets ready to finish Rhodes as DBiase is on the outside. Crowd “loves it.” But DiBiase pulls Orton’s legs down.
DiBiase and Orton stand on the apron outside but Orton grabs both of their heads and gives them a double DDT while their legs hang from the middle rope.
Orton stares down Rhodes with a “crazy” look in his eyes as Rhodes struggles to get up. Crowd cheers. Orton goes to the corner and “kicks the shit out of” Rhodes’s face. DiBiase comes in from behind with the Million Dollar Dream but Orton counters and hits the RKO. 1-2-3.
Winner: Randy Orton
Backstage Interview: Vicky Guerrero, Santino Marella, Gene Okerlund, Mae Young
“Don’t try this at home” promo.
Drank some coffee, need to take a huge leak right now.
Vicky Guerrero interviewed backstage alongside some “bitches.”
She grabs the mic and says “as we all know, this WrestleMania will be forever…” Crowd boos.
“Excuse me! Will be forever known as Vicky Guerrero’s first WrestleMania match. Tonight I will create a moment that will live in history forever.”
Some blonde chick comes in and sings “Simply the Best.” I have not watched wrestling in so many years. No idea who the F this is, soz.
Santino Marella comes in and says “anything is possible when you bite into a Slim Jim.”
He bites into it and the chick turns into Mae Young. Mae Young tries to kiss him but he takes another bite and Mae Young turns into Mean Gene Okerlund in a dress. He says “you gotta be kidding me! Who did you expect?”
He bites again and Okerlund turns into “Maria.” She smiles and he says “Slim Jim” and they walk off together.
Dunno wtf.
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Kofi Kingston comes out first.
MVP next.
Evan Bourne.
Jack Swagger
Shelton Benjamin
Matt Hardy
Dolph Ziggler
Drew McIntyre
Kane
Christian
Bunch of ladders “chilling” in the aisle.
Everyone just brawling in the ring, battle royal style.
Everyone eventually clears to the outside while Drew McIntyre grabs a ladder all alone in the ring and tries to climb up but Matt Hardy pushes the ladder down.
Evan Bourne climbs the ladder and touches the briefcase, but Kane grabs him and tosses him to the outside.
Matt Hardy and Jack Swagger climb up together but they are knocked down with another ladder by Kofi Kingston.
Christian picks up a ladder and throws it in the corner then monkey flips Kingston into the ladder.
Christian tries to climb up but Ziggler knocks him down.
Ziggler alone in the ring and climbs up but MVP comes in and pulls his leg off violently and Ziggler falls hard to the ring.
Kane comes in and grabs MVP by the throat but Kingston hits Kane with a ladder.
The three black wrestlers grab a ladder and nail Kane with it in the corner.
Benjamin jumps at Kane but he grabs him and throws him down onto a ladder.
More brawling and Shelton Benjamin is somehow left alone in the ring. Climbs up but Jack Swagger comes in with a ladder and knocks him down.
Evan Bourne off the top rope and into Swagger, knocking him down.
Three ladders in the ring.
Evan Bourne and Christian try to climb up the ring after forming a platform of ladders on both sides. Bourne kicks Christian down and is left alone on the ladder but hits some sweet high flying move off the ladder onto Christian. He climbs up and touches the briefcase but Matt Hardy runs in and punches him then throws him down hard off the top of the ladder.
Jack Swagger grabs Hardy as he tries to grab the briefcase and he pushes him and Hardy flips and falls onto the horizontal ladder platform. “Cool spot” there.
Benjamin and MVP fight on the ladder. MVP tries to powerbomb Benjamin but he gives him a hurricanrana to the outside.
Kane hits both of them with a ladder and goes into the ring and climbs up the ladder but Ziggler climbs on Kane’s back and over him. He is touching the briefcase but Kane pushes the ladder and Ziggler falls hard.
Kane chokeslams Ziggler onto the ladder then sandwiches him in between the ladder, eventually ripping the ladder off its hinges.
Kofi Kingston grabs the ladder that was broken in half by Kane.
He uses the ladder as a pair of STILTS. lol
He climbs up and almost reaches the ladder but McIntyre ruins it and knocks him down as the crowd boos. McIntyre grabs a fresh ladder and climbs up, all alone in the ring. He is very close but Matt Hardy runs in and they battle up top. Hardy is knocked down but he gets up and pushes McIntyre down and he falls “crotch first” onto the top rope.
Matt Hardy climbs alone in the ring. He is trying to unhook the briefcase. Kane comes in with another ladder. Christian climbs the second ladder and battles with Matt Hardy atop both ladders. KANE runs up on the other side and grabs them both but he is knocked down.
Christian and Hardy continue to battle on the top of both ladders. Christian hits the Twist of Fate off the top of the ladder.
He starts to climb up but Jack Swagger runs in and pushes him off. Christian touching the briefcase but Swagger battles him on top of the ladder. Swagger grabs the briefcase and slams it into Christian’s head. He grabs it and tries to unhook it for like 30 seconds… then finally does it and he WINS.
Winner: Jack Swagger
WWE Hall of Fame Stuff
They recap the Hall of Fame ceremony last night.
Howard Finkel is in the ring and welcomes the WWE hall of fame class of 2010.
They come out and stand at the entranceway.
The Hart Family is there representing Stu Hart.
Wendi Richter.
Mad Dog Vachon in a wheelchair.
Feeling really sad right now.
Antonio Inoki.
Bob Uecker
Betty Wagner, former wife of Gorgeous George, holding onto a walker.
Feeling depressed.
The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase gets the biggest pop.
Triple H vs. Sheamus
Sheamus comes out first, then Triple H.
Sheamus yells something about being “the future” to Triple H.
Triple H slaps Sheamus.
Right hands by Triple H. Quickly goes for the Pedigree but Sheamus escapes.
Fucking so pale.
Triple H knocks down Sheamus and “delivers” a knee.
Battle goes to the outside and Triple H throws him into the barrier, then rolls him back into the ring.
Triple H locks on the figure four leg lock and the crowd “whooo’s.”
Sheamus grabs the rope and crawls to the outside.
Triple H follows Sheamus to the outside but Sheamus ducks and throws Triple H into the steel steps.
Back in the ring, Sheamus hits a nice backbreaker on Triple H.
And another one.
Sheamus controlling the match.
Puts on a sleeper hold but Triple H finally fights back and hits a belly to back suplex.
Sheamus runs at Triple H but HHH hits a DDT.
They “exchange rights.”
Triple H with a high knee. Seems “pumped.”
Facebuster to Sheamus.
Triple H goes for the Pedigree but Sheamus counters… Triple H hits a neckbreaker.
Triple H fights Sheamus on the rope but Sheamus goes for “The Razor’s Edge.”
Triple H counters… Sheamus hits a huge boot and goes for the pin. Near fall.
Sheamus “can’t believe it.”
Goes for the fall away slam again but Triple H counters and hits a spine buster. Kick out at 2.
Both seem “winded.”
“An old west shoot out here in the desert.” – Michal Cole
Sheamus kicks Triple H in the face and both men fall to the mat.
Sheamus picks up HHH slowly but Triple H out of nowhere kicks him in the stomach and hits the Pedigree… 1-2-3.
Winner: Triple H
Some zany Slim Jim commercial with Edge.
Source: Triple A
WrestleMania 26 Intro
WELCOME TO TONIGHT’S COVERAGE BY TRIPLE A.
Live from Phoenix, Arizona
Announcer welcomes the “ladies and gentlemen” to WrestleMania.
“Multi platinum recording artist” and “8 time Grammy nominee” Fantasia sings “America the Beautiful” while there are shots of deserts and birds and grains. Some waterfalls.
Some shots of ethnic children.
Army bros.
Crowd cheers for her.
Alright.
WrestleMania intro package is played, hyping up the card and whatnot.
“Slim Jim and WWE present the entertainment spectacular, WrestleMania.”
Some pyro.
Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler announcing.
Michael Cole calls the University of Phoenix Stadium “the big toaster” for some reason.
First match is The Miz & Big Show vs. R-Truth & John Morrison.
The Miz & Big Show vs. R-Truth & John Morrison – Unified Tag Team Title
R-Truth comes out and raps. Some white woman in the crowd really enjoying it.
Gets into the ring and says, “WrestleMania! What’s up!”
Cole welcomes us to WrestleMania again. He, Lawler, and Matt Striker are announcing.
Cole introduces the Spanish announce team. One of them says something in Spanish.
John Morrison comes out.
The Big Show and Miz come out together to no reaction.
The bell rings.
John Morrison and The Miz start off.
K-Kwik jumps in and “fucks up” The Miz but the Big Show is tagged and comes in and gives R-Truth a fall away slam. Shoves Morrison off the apron with one hand. Goes up to the middle rope but is kicked in the face by Morrison. “A lil payback!!!” – Michael Cole
Morrison comes in and does some sweet stuff.
R-Truth jumps to the outside onto Big Show but Show catches him and slams him into the post outside.
Morrison tries to do some moonsault off the rope but The Big Show was tagged in before and he punches Morrison in the face? And he pins him.
what
Winners: The Big Show & The Miz
Recap of WrestleMania Weekend
Bunch of clips recapping all the stuff that happened, including:
Cena on Jimmy Fallon.
Fan Axxess.
Shows a bunch of foreigners who came here “just to see WrestleMania.”
WrestleMania art show.
WrestleMania golf tournament. Sgt. Slaughter “sinks a shot” and says “that’s how you do it, baby.”
WrestleMania “reading challenge” with some lil kids. Some guy talking about changing the lives of individuals with this.
Chris Jericho on Lopez Tonight.
Some other shit.
Next match is Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes
Ted DiBiase comes out first.
Cody Rhodes next.
Orton comes in. Looking very handsome.
Rhodes and DiBiase try to corner Orton but he rolls out of the ring… Rhodes follows him out but Orton quickly rolls back in and clotheslines DiBiase.
Rhodes and DiBiase finally take down Orton and start to “pummel” him as the crowd boos.
They take turns stomping at him.
They take turns holding Orton as the other punches and kicks him.
Crowd booing.
Double suplex on Orton. DiBiase plays to the crowd as they boo.
Taunts Orton, saying things like, “come on Randy!”
Stomping at Orton in the corner as the crowd sounds annoyed.
Orton suddenly gets a new breath and tries to fight back for 8.5 seconds, but DiBiase clotheslines him and down he goes again. Rhodes and DiBiase continue to double team him.
Rhodes goes to the top rope and DiBiase goes for a pin. Rhodes runs down and pulls DiBiase off of Orton and gets in his face, then throws DiBiase out of the ring as the crowd cheers.
Rhodes tries to pin Orton but DiBiase comes in and breaks up the near fall.
They get in each other’s face and DiBiase punches Rhodes, then they start to “brawl” while Orton recuperates. DiBiase runs at Orton but he tosses him out of the ring. Orton “fucking destroys” Rhodes, then Orton.
Orton gets ready to finish Rhodes as DBiase is on the outside. Crowd “loves it.” But DiBiase pulls Orton’s legs down.
DiBiase and Orton stand on the apron outside but Orton grabs both of their heads and gives them a double DDT while their legs hang from the middle rope.
Orton stares down Rhodes with a “crazy” look in his eyes as Rhodes struggles to get up. Crowd cheers. Orton goes to the corner and “kicks the shit out of” Rhodes’s face. DiBiase comes in from behind with the Million Dollar Dream but Orton counters and hits the RKO. 1-2-3.
Winner: Randy Orton
Backstage Interview: Vicky Guerrero, Santino Marella, Gene Okerlund, Mae Young
“Don’t try this at home” promo.
Drank some coffee, need to take a huge leak right now.
Vicky Guerrero interviewed backstage alongside some “bitches.”
She grabs the mic and says “as we all know, this WrestleMania will be forever…” Crowd boos.
“Excuse me! Will be forever known as Vicky Guerrero’s first WrestleMania match. Tonight I will create a moment that will live in history forever.”
Some blonde chick comes in and sings “Simply the Best.” I have not watched wrestling in so many years. No idea who the F this is, soz.
Santino Marella comes in and says “anything is possible when you bite into a Slim Jim.”
He bites into it and the chick turns into Mae Young. Mae Young tries to kiss him but he takes another bite and Mae Young turns into Mean Gene Okerlund in a dress. He says “you gotta be kidding me! Who did you expect?”
He bites again and Okerlund turns into “Maria.” She smiles and he says “Slim Jim” and they walk off together.
Dunno wtf.
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Kofi Kingston comes out first.
MVP next.
Evan Bourne.
Jack Swagger
Shelton Benjamin
Matt Hardy
Dolph Ziggler
Drew McIntyre
Kane
Christian
Bunch of ladders “chilling” in the aisle.
Everyone just brawling in the ring, battle royal style.
Everyone eventually clears to the outside while Drew McIntyre grabs a ladder all alone in the ring and tries to climb up but Matt Hardy pushes the ladder down.
Evan Bourne climbs the ladder and touches the briefcase, but Kane grabs him and tosses him to the outside.
Matt Hardy and Jack Swagger climb up together but they are knocked down with another ladder by Kofi Kingston.
Christian picks up a ladder and throws it in the corner then monkey flips Kingston into the ladder.
Christian tries to climb up but Ziggler knocks him down.
Ziggler alone in the ring and climbs up but MVP comes in and pulls his leg off violently and Ziggler falls hard to the ring.
Kane comes in and grabs MVP by the throat but Kingston hits Kane with a ladder.
The three black wrestlers grab a ladder and nail Kane with it in the corner.
Benjamin jumps at Kane but he grabs him and throws him down onto a ladder.
More brawling and Shelton Benjamin is somehow left alone in the ring. Climbs up but Jack Swagger comes in with a ladder and knocks him down.
Evan Bourne off the top rope and into Swagger, knocking him down.
Three ladders in the ring.
Evan Bourne and Christian try to climb up the ring after forming a platform of ladders on both sides. Bourne kicks Christian down and is left alone on the ladder but hits some sweet high flying move off the ladder onto Christian. He climbs up and touches the briefcase but Matt Hardy runs in and punches him then throws him down hard off the top of the ladder.
Jack Swagger grabs Hardy as he tries to grab the briefcase and he pushes him and Hardy flips and falls onto the horizontal ladder platform. “Cool spot” there.
Benjamin and MVP fight on the ladder. MVP tries to powerbomb Benjamin but he gives him a hurricanrana to the outside.
Kane hits both of them with a ladder and goes into the ring and climbs up the ladder but Ziggler climbs on Kane’s back and over him. He is touching the briefcase but Kane pushes the ladder and Ziggler falls hard.
Kane chokeslams Ziggler onto the ladder then sandwiches him in between the ladder, eventually ripping the ladder off its hinges.
Kofi Kingston grabs the ladder that was broken in half by Kane.
He uses the ladder as a pair of STILTS. lol
He climbs up and almost reaches the ladder but McIntyre ruins it and knocks him down as the crowd boos. McIntyre grabs a fresh ladder and climbs up, all alone in the ring. He is very close but Matt Hardy runs in and they battle up top. Hardy is knocked down but he gets up and pushes McIntyre down and he falls “crotch first” onto the top rope.
Matt Hardy climbs alone in the ring. He is trying to unhook the briefcase. Kane comes in with another ladder. Christian climbs the second ladder and battles with Matt Hardy atop both ladders. KANE runs up on the other side and grabs them both but he is knocked down.
Christian and Hardy continue to battle on the top of both ladders. Christian hits the Twist of Fate off the top of the ladder.
He starts to climb up but Jack Swagger runs in and pushes him off. Christian touching the briefcase but Swagger battles him on top of the ladder. Swagger grabs the briefcase and slams it into Christian’s head. He grabs it and tries to unhook it for like 30 seconds… then finally does it and he WINS.
Winner: Jack Swagger
WWE Hall of Fame Stuff
They recap the Hall of Fame ceremony last night.
Howard Finkel is in the ring and welcomes the WWE hall of fame class of 2010.
They come out and stand at the entranceway.
The Hart Family is there representing Stu Hart.
Wendi Richter.
Mad Dog Vachon in a wheelchair.
Feeling really sad right now.
Antonio Inoki.
Bob Uecker
Betty Wagner, former wife of Gorgeous George, holding onto a walker.
Feeling depressed.
The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase gets the biggest pop.
Triple H vs. Sheamus
Sheamus comes out first, then Triple H.
Sheamus yells something about being “the future” to Triple H.
Triple H slaps Sheamus.
Right hands by Triple H. Quickly goes for the Pedigree but Sheamus escapes.
Fucking so pale.
Triple H knocks down Sheamus and “delivers” a knee.
Battle goes to the outside and Triple H throws him into the barrier, then rolls him back into the ring.
Triple H locks on the figure four leg lock and the crowd “whooo’s.”
Sheamus grabs the rope and crawls to the outside.
Triple H follows Sheamus to the outside but Sheamus ducks and throws Triple H into the steel steps.
Back in the ring, Sheamus hits a nice backbreaker on Triple H.
And another one.
Sheamus controlling the match.
Puts on a sleeper hold but Triple H finally fights back and hits a belly to back suplex.
Sheamus runs at Triple H but HHH hits a DDT.
They “exchange rights.”
Triple H with a high knee. Seems “pumped.”
Facebuster to Sheamus.
Triple H goes for the Pedigree but Sheamus counters… Triple H hits a neckbreaker.
Triple H fights Sheamus on the rope but Sheamus goes for “The Razor’s Edge.”
Triple H counters… Sheamus hits a huge boot and goes for the pin. Near fall.
Sheamus “can’t believe it.”
Goes for the fall away slam again but Triple H counters and hits a spine buster. Kick out at 2.
Both seem “winded.”
“An old west shoot out here in the desert.” – Michal Cole
Sheamus kicks Triple H in the face and both men fall to the mat.
Sheamus picks up HHH slowly but Triple H out of nowhere kicks him in the stomach and hits the Pedigree… 1-2-3.
Winner: Triple H
Some zany Slim Jim commercial with Edge.