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View Full Version : Two Sharks vs Austin at Mania - BOOK IT!


Xero
04-26-2010, 12:55 AM
From Austin's Twitter:

so anyway there i was with 900 lbs on the bar...the first rep came up so easy i went for another one...big mistake...3 sharks crashed...

through the front door of the gym...i still had 900 lbs in my hands so i could only fight them off by kicking at them...big mistake...

the biggest of the sharks...a 14 footer bit my left leg off at the knee...that really pissed me off!! i did 3 more reps and threw the bar...

at the shark that bit my leg off...the weight pinned him down and i was able to retrieve my leg from his mouth...too busy to sew it...

back on i threw it in my beer cooler so it wouldnt spoil...i now have to battle the other 2 sharks on only one leg...not an easy task...

austin vs. 2 sharks is a dream match for wrestlemania and instead its happening in a gym...clearly this an anything goes fight to the death.

being a method actor i revert back to jack conrad, john brickner, and of course stone cold....these sumbitches dont stand a chance...

the gym explodes in a violent display of brutality, violence, calamity, and blood...lots and lots of blood---shark blood dammit....

im using dumbbells, barbells, cables, everything but the kitchen sink, and i would use the kitchen sink but there is not a kitchen...

i have exhausted all of my weapons...except my double custom one of a kind nickel plated glock .45... that is filled with movie blanks!!!!

i cant kill anything shooting blanks!!! (not those kind of blanks)...so with no other option i drag myself to the cooler...

people let me tell you ive lost a lot of blood...the sharks seem to be gaining strength...in a last hope of pure instinct and survival...

i open my cooler..reach in and pull out a cold steveweiser...and my leg..i pop the top and pour the cold nutritious beverage down the hatch.

it tastes so good i grab one more...guzzle it down...my body feels the rush of energy...its like popeye eating a can of spinach...hell yeah-

i jump up on my one good leg and start swinging my other leg around...clubbing everything in sight...the size 13 nike shock is causing...

maximum damage...and finally ...its all over...the sharks are dead...hold it...WHAM!!!! one of them was playing possom..not any more...

i reach into the cooler and grab a cold one...i grab my leg and head out to my Ford Bronco...the one and only George Strait is playing...

one of my favorite songs.....there is smile of victory on my face...time to break out a needle and thread...ive got a leg to sew back on...

well i got some good news and bad news...the good news is i got my leg sewed back on..the bad news is i sewed the damn thing on backward...

more bad news...with this leg sewed on backwards i tried to get a beer out of the cooler but i cant reach it cause i keep WALKING IN CIRCLES

The Franchise
04-26-2010, 12:58 AM
LOL wtf. I'm going to sign up for twitter just to follow Austin

James Steele
04-26-2010, 12:58 AM
:rofl:

How many beers does it take for Stone Cold to post on Twitter?

Xero
04-26-2010, 01:00 AM
lol updated.

Jeritron
04-26-2010, 01:02 AM
I like the cut of this guy's jib

Supreme Olajuwon
04-26-2010, 01:09 AM
Well it proves one thing, Mr. Hooper. It proves that you wealthy college boys don't have the education enough to admit when you're wrong.

Jeritron
04-26-2010, 01:12 AM
farewell and adieu to you fair spanish ladies

Jeritron
04-26-2010, 01:12 AM
farewell and adieu to you ladies from Spain

Droford
04-26-2010, 01:15 AM
http://www.incredible8.com/img/SharkBoy_big.jpg

and

http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported_assets/273943/theshark.jpg

R.I.P.

James Steele
04-26-2010, 01:37 AM
http://twitter.com/steveaustinbsr

James Steele
04-26-2010, 01:39 AM
# only the names have been changed to protect the innocent... i bid you all good night. 2 minutes ago via web
# alright ladies and germs...with the conclusion of the summary of my day...and for the record, everything you have just read is true... 3 minutes ago via web

Favre4Ever
04-26-2010, 02:14 AM
lol

kareru
04-26-2010, 11:08 AM
stone cold = deepsea dan ?

TGR
04-26-2010, 03:35 PM
In the words of RVD...

"Dude...What have YOU been smoking?"

tjmidnight420
04-26-2010, 03:42 PM
I was thinking somewhere along the lines of PCP...

AKin3D
04-26-2010, 05:34 PM
lol.

He updated with a new tale

DaVe
04-26-2010, 08:52 PM
lol

If you read it the right way it could easily be an Austin promo from 2001.

im using dumbbells
WHAT
barbells
WHAT
cables
WHAT
everything but the kitchen sink, and i would use the kitchen sink but there is not a kitchen...

and then the WHAM.
:lol:

Loose Cannon
04-26-2010, 10:59 PM
I skimmed over the opening sentence of the topic at first and really believed Ausitn benched 900lbs. I thought dam, he can help me move my dryer and washing machine at the same time