KayfabeMan
04-29-2010, 12:02 PM
So I am sitting through commercials for the Tooth Fairy, Campbell's Soup, Marshall's and Nutri-Grain to bring you this recap of Hogan on The View.
Also, I have a 101 degree fever that just will not break, so hope that I don't die - or if I do - that my life insurance actually pays out so my wife can buy a Ferrari to drive to my funeral.
Joy says, 'Hulk Hogan is back to his wrestling roots, and I don't mean his dye job either'. OH SNAP! She must write for Cena. She says that Hogan will kill her for that comment, but then proceeds to mention Hulk is afraid of her.
Hogan comes out in his light blue bandana and his light blue Praise Jesus Ed Hardy-esque shirt. They get to the subject of his dye jobs. He says he dyes his moustache about halfway through into the process of dying his hair, as if you leave the stuff on your face for too long, it will burn. Funny that Brooke doesn't seem to have that complaint. :shifty:
Sherri points out how hard Hulk's chest is, and grabs it to illustrate that point. Hogan directs her hand below his waist (at least in his mind), changes the subject and points out what a big fan of the View that Brooke is.
He mentions how he met Jennifer in a health food store, and how his life was going when 18-year-old Charlie (aka The Graverobber) stole away his wife Linda (aka The Cryptkeeper). He said he's never seen anyone's eyes who are as pure and clear as Jennifer's. He said he ran into her several weeks later there, thought she worked at the store - but she didn't - and noticed her body on that trip - so he wanted to talk to her again.
They point out how Brooke, Jennifer and Linda are almost like triplets. Hogan says they are all different in bed.
Elizabeth asks how they all remain civil with each other, Hogan said he's tried all he can to do that and it doesn't work - he says they have no communication with each other and that Linda doesn't want to try to communicate on a positive level. He says dealing with her is 'insanity'.
He said that he's absolutely positive now, and appreciates how good things are. Hie shows his tattoo about awareness on his wrist, and walking in the spirit of Christ, and shows his 'I am that, I am' tattoo about what God told Moses when he saw the burning bush. Coincidentally, that's what Hogan used to call Linda.
Whoopi mentions his other break-up, with the WWE - he says that the View is great, but they are missing the boat, because he works for a beautiful lady named Dixie Carter and wrestles for TNA. They make a joke about TNA, being something that they're not sure they want to see. Whoopi promises to check it out with her grandson.
Elizabeth mentions Hogan playing Zeus in Little Hercules, which was filmed about 3 years ago in 3-D and is just now coming out. They show a clip where Hogan is trash talking The Big Show from that movie, and then tries to shoot lightning at Big Show. This was originally written in to happen at WCW during the Dungeon of Doom angle, I'm sure.
Joy asks if he wants more kids with Jennifer, he says no.
He said his marriage was insane, over-the-top craziness, etc. And Sherri cuts him off in mid-sentence to mention how she's glad his son is out of jail and that everything is going well for him. Hogan makes a face. Then they boot Hogan off of the show.
They give everyone in the audience a copy of Hulk's Little Hercules 3D DVD, so keep an eye on eBay for them in the coming weeks - or expect your aunt that attends the View to mail it to you for your Birthday / Christmas.
Also, I have a 101 degree fever that just will not break, so hope that I don't die - or if I do - that my life insurance actually pays out so my wife can buy a Ferrari to drive to my funeral.
Joy says, 'Hulk Hogan is back to his wrestling roots, and I don't mean his dye job either'. OH SNAP! She must write for Cena. She says that Hogan will kill her for that comment, but then proceeds to mention Hulk is afraid of her.
Hogan comes out in his light blue bandana and his light blue Praise Jesus Ed Hardy-esque shirt. They get to the subject of his dye jobs. He says he dyes his moustache about halfway through into the process of dying his hair, as if you leave the stuff on your face for too long, it will burn. Funny that Brooke doesn't seem to have that complaint. :shifty:
Sherri points out how hard Hulk's chest is, and grabs it to illustrate that point. Hogan directs her hand below his waist (at least in his mind), changes the subject and points out what a big fan of the View that Brooke is.
He mentions how he met Jennifer in a health food store, and how his life was going when 18-year-old Charlie (aka The Graverobber) stole away his wife Linda (aka The Cryptkeeper). He said he's never seen anyone's eyes who are as pure and clear as Jennifer's. He said he ran into her several weeks later there, thought she worked at the store - but she didn't - and noticed her body on that trip - so he wanted to talk to her again.
They point out how Brooke, Jennifer and Linda are almost like triplets. Hogan says they are all different in bed.
Elizabeth asks how they all remain civil with each other, Hogan said he's tried all he can to do that and it doesn't work - he says they have no communication with each other and that Linda doesn't want to try to communicate on a positive level. He says dealing with her is 'insanity'.
He said that he's absolutely positive now, and appreciates how good things are. Hie shows his tattoo about awareness on his wrist, and walking in the spirit of Christ, and shows his 'I am that, I am' tattoo about what God told Moses when he saw the burning bush. Coincidentally, that's what Hogan used to call Linda.
Whoopi mentions his other break-up, with the WWE - he says that the View is great, but they are missing the boat, because he works for a beautiful lady named Dixie Carter and wrestles for TNA. They make a joke about TNA, being something that they're not sure they want to see. Whoopi promises to check it out with her grandson.
Elizabeth mentions Hogan playing Zeus in Little Hercules, which was filmed about 3 years ago in 3-D and is just now coming out. They show a clip where Hogan is trash talking The Big Show from that movie, and then tries to shoot lightning at Big Show. This was originally written in to happen at WCW during the Dungeon of Doom angle, I'm sure.
Joy asks if he wants more kids with Jennifer, he says no.
He said his marriage was insane, over-the-top craziness, etc. And Sherri cuts him off in mid-sentence to mention how she's glad his son is out of jail and that everything is going well for him. Hogan makes a face. Then they boot Hogan off of the show.
They give everyone in the audience a copy of Hulk's Little Hercules 3D DVD, so keep an eye on eBay for them in the coming weeks - or expect your aunt that attends the View to mail it to you for your Birthday / Christmas.