Worst Wrestling "Company" [Archive]

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Swiss Ultimate

07-09-2010, 02:28 PM

I'm counting small regional affairs in this. If they have two-three shows a month I'd call them a "company" or "group".

Which is the worst?

I always thought the Juggalo wrestling company was probably the stupidest of them all but, I'm too lazy to see if they're still operating.

CSL

07-09-2010, 02:34 PM

There are a million indy feds across the world that do nothing but harm the wrestling business with the so-called 'shows' they put on. The kind of shows that make the shit ICP put on look like Vince McMahon's glory days. They all need shooting.

thecc

07-09-2010, 02:34 PM

IWA-MS post 2006

Seth82

07-09-2010, 02:37 PM

XPW

thecc

07-09-2010, 02:37 PM

So, I think I got a new doozy...

Last night, I got to attend STRICTLY HARDCORE WRESTLING out of Corydon, Indiana. Or more importantly, out of THIS:http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs537.snc3/30437_10150210615165177_860510176_13226447_4357569_n.jpg

That is a tin-roofed barn pretty much in the middle of nowhere (as in, it pretty much had its own road). The "parking lot" was the dude's backyard.

So we go inside and find a sign by the door advertising BOLOGNA SANDWICHES. I kinda got hard. The building was EXACTLY what you'd imagine. A literal barn with 30 chairs, 6 of them elevated on this wooden, rickety "bleacher" set-up. The locker room was separated from the crowd via random pieces of sheet metal with SHW spray-painted on it, only it was warped and dented in certain spots and you could see dudes changing into their gear. As former IWA Mid-South wrestler Mitch Page (who was sitting in the crowd, having a great time) put it, "We thought you were crazy, then we saw your balls!". The guardrail is a busted-up wooden farm fencing deal. The middle board on our side was busted up, jagged, and splintery. You probably could've cut your knee bad if you were sitting there in shorts and shifted the wrong way. Also, this was taped up right in front of my seat:
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs517.ash1/30437_10150210615170177_860510176_13226448_1071265_n.jpg
We sat there for FORTY FIVE MINUTES and then the promoter/top babyface, "Sick & Insane" Kyle Cobain, announce to the crowd, "Sorry, the show's gonna start late. A couple of the wrasslers are late comin' here, they're usually reliable, but they're late. I'm dockin' their pay in half too." Then, he comes out to tell pretty much every fan that the late guy was the High Impact Champion Wikkid. Yep, Wikkid.

Cobain goes backstage, as a 15-year-old in a marker-drawn SHW shirt climbs up to the ceiling to run the tripod camera. Then, Cobain comes out to some song about raising the dead and announced the whole card off of his notebook, including almost blowing the mystery stip of one match and forgetting how many matches were on the card. Cobain brought out an ENFORCER for the eight-man, a teenage football-player-looking dude (babyface with a big body) with a barbed wire 2x4 named "The Boss" Ricky Chevy (who we had to assume his name based on his shirt, as the PA system made it sound like he was Ricky Chubby), who called out the heel group for the main event and mumbled something about being the boss and how it was business, not personal, but they had history, and I was confused.

Also, Cobain said something like, "I'm gonna add a stip before the match that'll rock your world" about the main event, but the PA system was horrible and the crowd heard it as "we're gonna rape your girl" and oooooh's and awwww's filled the building.

The opener was a six-man tag with five dudes with muffin-tops, one of whom looks like Chris Hero and Balls Mahoney had a disturbing kid. The highlight was half of the moves in the match being headlocks done on the wrong side. The finish came when Balls Hero reversed a headlock by lifting his opponent up and holding him across his shoulders. We assumed he was going for a Samoan drop, but he just held the dude on his shoulders...and held him...and held him...and then the ref (who was like a 6'+ Darin Corbin, only wearing baggy shorts and a ref shirt cut up into a vest over a white shirt) called for the bell. Turns out that it was a TORTURE RACK, kinda. The heels won via submission.

There was a ten-minute break, during which Cobain announces over the PA system: "Whoever has the goddamn remote for the fuckin' CD player, bring it the fuck back!". After I assume they got it back, Cobain announces, "Attention wrestlers! Whoever's gonna get in this, we're having the battle royal! Get the fuck into the ring!". Cobain, along with the heel group from the opening promo, a dude in an Assassin mask, a drunk guy in a Notre Dame jersey, and a 15-year-old dude who looked all of 11 years old named J-Rex came out. Literally, a SEVEN MAN BATTLE ROYAL. Not only that, but the stips were that you were eliminated when you either went over the top rope or UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE. If that's not ridiculous enough, the ref forgot the rule and, when Cobain eliminated someone under the bottom rope, he had to correct the ref, who shrugged his shoulders and went with it (yet was screwing up spots in the six-man by enforcing tag rules like it was a shoot). It included dudes doing REALLY unsafe double clothesline bumps and a LOT of shots with a fishing pole (including J-Rex crying from getting hit in the nuts with it). The drunk guy in the Notre Dame jersey (think Corp. Robinson meets Pauly Shore) won, I think.

This was followed with a five minute intermission. Why? Mitch Page yelled for it as a joke and Cobain came on the mic to say, "Since it was requested, we're going to intermission".

We got a three-way with Killjoy (a dude in camo shorts and a t-shirt), J-Rex, and a heel I can't remember in a Falls Count Anywhere match. Within ten seconds, the heel and J-Rex exit the ring, go outside the barn, and flop down into a kiddy pool full of water. J-Rex got pinned in the water, leaving Killjoy and the heel to do...stuff. It was INSANELY confusing because you had Killjoy, his second Wikkid, the heel, and the heel group all at ringside, posturing around and swinging at each other. I think Killjoy won with something.

They followed with another heel (who was literally talking out a spot with a plant in front of the crowd during the match before) against Cobain in a First Blood match for what I assumed was the SHW Hardcore belt, since Cobain came out with it. The match was five minutes long, including completely reckless chairshots, a random barfight sequence (with NASTY, ridiculous headbutts that would make Mickie Knuckles go, "That's just stupid"), and the heel getting the edge of a chair thrown right at his balls. Cobain got busted open hardway barely (not really trickling, just a small surface wound) and the ref stopped the match. Cobain grabbed the mic and said, "Why did I book myself in a First Blood match? I always bleed in my matches". Wrestling, folks.

Then, we had Shaq Daddy (of IWA-MS Pro-Am and "We Are Family" fame) against another heel in THE REMATCH FROM HELL, as it was billed. In reality, it was Fans Bring the Weapons. The only weapons I remember being used were lighttubes, which were too close for comfort since front row was insanely close to the ring and they broke the glass RIGHT in front of us, as opposed to in the ring where it'd be safe. This would be the worst match at King of the Deathmatches and just a generically bad deathmatch, which made it the best match on this show.

This was followed up with some skinny-ass dude that looked like Shane Helms with Down's in kickpads and a shirt with a bunch of crosses on it coming out for an open challenge. Problem was, he spent ten minutes on his promo because my friend Nick threw him off-course for his promo by humping the barrier and making fun of the guy's lisp. Instead of ignoring it or insulting him once and moving on, the guy let this completely derail him and he spent a good five minutes going, "Yeah, whatever..." and fake-blowing Nick off. It was a mess and a half. Anyway, a dude that looked like Hardcore Donkeylips (5'8, probably 375 pounds legit, Gathering of the Juggalos shirt) came out to answer the challenge. I guess he's one-half of the tag champs with the masked guy from the battle royal, as they came out with toy foam WWF belts with SHW scratched over the WWF logos. Side-note: the other belts were foam WWF toy belts, but taped to weight-lifting belts so guys could wear them.

Anyway, the fat guy cuts a promo about just getting out of prison and how he doesn't want to put up with guys trashing SHW. He slaps the dude, beats him up some, and the following exchange happens:

Donkeylips: "Hey, can I add a stip?"
Ref: "*scratches chin*...Um, sure?"
Donkeylips: "This is Last Man Standing!"

So, it becomes a LMS match and they immediately go to the outside. Somehow, the skinny dude gets the advantage and finds a CINDER BLOCK. He misses a shot to the fattie's face with it, then Donkeylips suplexes him on the floor. He goes outside and grabs a SLEDGEHAMMER, then swings it to smash the skinny dude's head in, but misses and smashes the block, then shrugs and goes, "Would've been cooler if he didn't move". The skinny dude gets back on offense and grabs a thumbtack snowboard. He bridges it across the barrier and the apron...but a fan scooted the barrier back so it fell. He walks over and puts it back up...and he does it again. So, skinny dude gives up and grabs THE HOOD OF A CAR out of the corner of the building and bridges it between two chairs in the ring. Fattie gets back on offense, yells "SH FUCKIN' W" and does a Tommy Dreamer DVD onto the hood. The dude bounces off of the metal and somehow lands where his feet are over his head. Instead of the big reaction they were hoping for, one fan yelled "STOP SUCKIN' YOUR OWN DICK!" and that was it. The fat dude won.

This was followed by High Impact Champion Reaper (whose 4-year-old daughter sat next to me, along with the other small children in the front row) against WORLD CHAMPION Wikked in a HIGH IMPACT match, or as Cobain explained it, "You can only go for a pin after you hit your finisher or something cool from the top rope or something higher". These two went maybe two minutes, doing backyard-level flippy stuff, including a random-ass top rope version of the Malachi Jackson stunner, before the heel group ran out and attacked both. Then, ALL the faces ran out to send them packing in what was a shockingly hot deal. Cobain grabbed the mic again and said the masked dude would be on the heel group's team in the eight man main event since, "They only got three guys and I booked you, but I forgot to put you in a match".

At that point, Cobain announced ANOTHER intermission. It was 10:50 PM, and they had the main event plus a 30-minute Iron Man Tables match coming up. My girlfriend and I had a 3-hour drive ahead of us (we were in the area visiting friends and we went to the show because it was close and cheap) plus we had to be up at 8:30 AM, so we bailed. Of course, the building is so out in the middle of nowhere that it took 40 minutes for me to get signal for the GPS on my phone, but that's another matter. But, I asked Nick tonight what happened when we left, and I guess in the main event (an 8-man "Kill 'Em All" elimination deathmatch), one of the heels fell on Cobain's leg doing a B-Boy dropkick and Cobain legitimately attacked the guy with a wiffleball bat, taking advantage of the guy's body and trying to hurt him really bad over stupid crap and things got really nasty with people in the crowd realizing what was going down and wanting to get into things.

So yeah...that was STRICTLY HARDCORE WRESTLING. I will NEVER be back obviously, but I'm glad I experienced it this one time so I have the story to tell.

Razzamajazz

07-09-2010, 02:39 PM

whoever clox works for

Swiss Ultimate

07-09-2010, 02:48 PM

thecc that was epic.

Razzamajazz

07-09-2010, 02:54 PM

http://worldofwrestling.ning.com/group/strictlyhardcorewrestling

wow

"One thing that we ask, is that when you leave our arena, ask yourself one question: do you still think its fake?..."

Razzamajazz

07-09-2010, 02:56 PM

and it's great when the promoters email address contains 187 and 420 in it

VSG

07-09-2010, 02:56 PM

"We are always looking for new talent... You will get paid, but it might not be much, you may not even get enough to pay for your gas to drive out..."

Atleast he is being honest about it.

CSL

07-09-2010, 03:01 PM

tna

07-09-2010, 03:07 PM

WWE, WWF Was Great but when they changed to WWE they fucked up!!!

Razzamajazz

07-09-2010, 03:10 PM

who'd have thought that someone named tna would bash the wwe!

Gertner

07-09-2010, 03:36 PM

Chikara

Swiss Ultimate

07-09-2010, 03:47 PM

Chikara

I can see that, honestly.

glanville6

07-09-2010, 03:59 PM

as soon as I saw the title, I thought JCW like the original poster said. Crazy how they have used some pretty good names too.

Mooияakeя™

07-09-2010, 05:41 PM

Chikara I would usually agree with when you look at it. Like "The colony". I mean. Fucking "Worker Ant". But yet, I just love that. I'll admit I don't watch indy wrestling that much, I read more news than I watch of them, but I just love watcing Youtube clips of Chikara.

I think it's like a 'it shouldn't work', but it's nice to have something of a change.

Nicky Fives

07-09-2010, 06:25 PM

The backyard promotion where the cunts "wrestle" on the ground and break lightbulbs over each other.....

Razzamajazz

07-09-2010, 06:46 PM

Swiss Ultimate

07-09-2010, 06:55 PM

What's the hardest part about being a backyard wrestler?

Xero

07-09-2010, 07:03 PM

Telling your parents you're gay.

The Pope

07-09-2010, 08:17 PM

CZW

Testicle

07-09-2010, 08:19 PM

XPW

James Steele

07-10-2010, 12:29 AM

http://www.gardentoursandtransportation.com/TNALogo.jpg

The Gold Standard

07-10-2010, 01:00 AM

http://www.gardentoursandtransportation.com/TNALogo.jpg

YOU BEAT ME TO IT!!

The Gold Standard

07-10-2010, 01:01 AM

I am not a fan of CZW either.

TNA just stinks, there is no convincing me the other way.

James Steele

07-10-2010, 01:21 AM

I do mean TNA. Considering everything TNA has, it is inexcusable that they are so shitty.

Favre4Ever

07-10-2010, 03:09 AM

Razzamajazz

07-10-2010, 04:51 AM

Mooияakeя™

07-10-2010, 07:48 AM

I do mean TNA. Considering everything TNA has, it is inexcusable that they are so shitty.

QFT.

Supreme Olajuwon

07-10-2010, 08:39 AM

LOL @ Balls Hero. Fantastic.

Rammsteinmad

07-10-2010, 12:12 PM

Chikara is probably my favourite indy promotion. The lucha libre style they use in their matches and characters is a breath of fresh-air compared to most American Indys that take themselves too seriously and just try to prove that 'wrestling's real' and 'WWE sux'.

Plus, F.I.S.T. and The Colony are two of the best stables around today imo.

As for actual worse company, that Strictly Hardcore Wrestling one sounds like a contender, but I'm not too familiar with a lot of them, so I'll just say whoever Ian Rotten is wrestling for today is probably the worst Indy promotion out there.

RiX1024

07-11-2010, 06:10 PM

XPW

Savio

07-11-2010, 06:44 PM

WSX