Make me an Ezekiel Jackson fan. [Archive]

Anybody Thrilla

11-28-2010, 12:16 AM

I bet you can't, because he fucking sucks.

Aguakate

11-28-2010, 12:20 AM

SlickyTrickyDamon

11-28-2010, 12:21 AM

Some guys in a chat room were talking about big Zeke and that they think he's gonna become King of the Ring.

I told them that it looked like his brain was leaking out of his head cause he didn't have a skull bone.

Anybody Thrilla

11-28-2010, 12:26 AM

His theme song is amazing, but the buck stops there.

Mr. Nerfect

11-28-2010, 12:27 AM

Anybody Thrilla

11-28-2010, 12:32 AM

Aguakate

11-28-2010, 12:36 AM

They should have Zeke in NeXus.

He definitely needs to go heel, that's for sure.

Lock Jaw

11-28-2010, 02:13 AM

His match with Christian at the Royal Rumble was the best match on the card (aside from the Rumble), but that probably had more to do with Christian.

He made a decent heel, but he seems pretty terrible as a face. He needs to seriously stop smiling all the time. In fact, stop smiling at all. Looks goofy as heck when he does. Also, he needs the full beard back.

Tom Guycott

11-28-2010, 02:16 AM

::waves magic wand::

You are now AN Zeke Jackson fan!

Droford

11-28-2010, 03:01 AM

He gets hit over the head and starts to think he's the son of Ahmed Johnson complete with incomprehensible promos, theme music, attire and finisher.

uh..maybe that wouldnt help out that much, but it would be something

Ermaximus

11-28-2010, 03:19 AM

Let's make a quick comparison.

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XPTfou0FKZ0?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XPTfou0FKZ0?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

or

<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/exvYVuZp7Vc?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/exvYVuZp7Vc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>

Rammsteinmad

11-28-2010, 03:46 AM

He's the wildcard in the King of the Ring tournament!!! The other contenders don't know anything about him!!! He's a mystery to everyone!!!

Skippord

11-28-2010, 04:37 AM

you're both African Americans

perhaps there can be some sort of solidarity between you

Dirk Ziggler

11-28-2010, 05:10 AM

Cool King

11-28-2010, 05:50 AM

He needs to seriously stop smiling all the time. In fact, stop smiling at all.

But we all know that's current WWE logic.

Smiling like a crazy person = Face

Some examples:

http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/7406/16741470.png

http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/2994/49708347.png

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/8607/77539395.png

http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/8826/77239929.png

http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/4972/53164443.png

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/2816/94108705.png

http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/8981/48433548.png

And the worst offender....

http://img843.imageshack.us/img843/8677/64535258.png

St. Jimmy

11-28-2010, 06:20 AM

He hits like a truck, he's huge, and he moves. He has nothing but potential.

Tommy Gunn

11-28-2010, 07:00 AM

Would be more likeable if he had a personality and a non-generic big guy move-set.

Triple Naitch

11-28-2010, 08:47 AM

His theme song is all you need.

MoFo

11-28-2010, 08:48 AM

you're both African Americans

perhaps there can be some sort of solidarity between you

lol

Cool King

11-28-2010, 09:07 AM

you're both African Americans

perhaps there can be some sort of solidarity between you

Ezekiel Jackson is Guyanese.

Xero

11-28-2010, 10:17 AM

Xero

11-28-2010, 10:21 AM

Someone seriously needs to make a Zeke/Ahmed mashup theme.

Savio

11-28-2010, 10:23 AM

Ezekiel Jackson is Guyanese.
More like GAY-anese.

lulz

MoFo

11-28-2010, 10:52 AM

thedamndest

11-28-2010, 11:23 AM

I would agree with Lock Jaw that his match with Christian was pretty good. Other than that I can't remember anything he's done, but to be fair he was out for a long time and doesn't get much time now.

erickman

11-28-2010, 12:54 PM

I would agree with Lock Jaw that his match with Christian was pretty good. Other than that I can't remember anything he's done, but to be fair he was out for a long time and doesn't get much time now.

that fued was great an i liked his ecw run. that is about half his wwe run so far, in other words i like him.

XL

11-28-2010, 01:04 PM

He does have badass theme music <s>if</s> and nothing else.

Razzamajazz

11-28-2010, 01:44 PM

this here is what we call domination
it's a combination of skill and concentration

itsmeJD

11-28-2010, 02:18 PM

So rise to the occasion, do something amazing
'Cause anything that I do, I dominate it.

Purgatory

11-28-2010, 03:30 PM

I really couldn't sell you on him unless I'm sold on him. All I see is a modern Ahmed Johnson.

Volare

11-28-2010, 04:10 PM

Has anyone even beat Zeke yet since his return?

Razzamajazz

11-28-2010, 04:12 PM

i don't think they've even mentioned him as the last ecw champion

Xero

11-28-2010, 05:30 PM

He should start coming out with the title saying he was screwed. He was on top of the world (kayfabe peoples) and the brand just folded.

Go on a crusade claiming that he shouldn't have to wrestle scrubs and all that, because he was and is the ECW Champion of the World.

Cool King

11-28-2010, 05:32 PM

i don't think they've even mentioned him as the last ecw champion

Cole has, once.

Purgatory

11-28-2010, 05:35 PM

i don't think they've even mentioned him as the last ecw champion

Didn't he win the ECW title on the it's very last show? I would have been insulted, personally.

Xero

11-28-2010, 05:36 PM

I wonder if he got to keep the belt?

Tommy Dreamer probably has it...

4 knuckles up

11-28-2010, 05:59 PM

this here is what we call domination
it's a combination of skill and concentration

This here is what we call masturbation, it's a combination of porn and lubrication...

:naughty:

My Final Heaven

11-28-2010, 06:08 PM

Anybody Thrilla

11-28-2010, 10:20 PM

Has anyone even beat Zeke yet since his return?

Not yet.

i don't think they've even mentioned him as the last ecw champion

They did in passing.

Anybody Thrilla

11-28-2010, 10:21 PM

He should start coming out with the title saying he was screwed. He was on top of the world (kayfabe peoples) and the brand just folded.

Go on a crusade claiming that he shouldn't have to wrestle scrubs and all that, because he was and is the ECW Champion of the World.

That could work.

Anyway, I wasn't really impressed with his ECW run. Yes, the match with Christian was good, but almost everybody's been in at least one good match.

Anybody Thrilla

11-28-2010, 10:23 PM

Ahmed's theme was pretty sweet too.

Testicle

11-28-2010, 10:26 PM

Are you talking about the Rumble match or the last ECW title match?

IMO the last ECW match with Christian was better. With that said, the guy is green as fuck and there is really no reason to be behind him at this point.

Anybody Thrilla

11-28-2010, 10:30 PM

I was talking about the Rumble match, but that one was OK too. I give the credit to Christian though, since almost every match he had in ECW was somewhere between good and awesome.

I kinda want to watch that Swagger/Christian match now where Christian was selling 'nerve damage'. Great stuff there.

Tom Guycott

11-29-2010, 05:10 AM

He is already in the Ahmed mold... a big black guy with red ring gear that's a little too small. Just change his tron to the one Xero posted and give him armbands and like 3 or 4 pairs of kneepads. Instant Sand Rippa 2.0

Volare

11-29-2010, 06:45 AM

Has anyone even beat Zeke yet since his return?

Not yet.

I asked cause I couldn't remember. I was thinking though, that since he is, and all of his matches have been squash matches, you think he could maybe be a type of lesnar/lashley carbon copy?

I mean if he blasts through KOTR, it could be a credible threat to Miz and if Miz goes over it gives credit to his character and Zeke gets a nice push out of it. In the end WWE has created another upper Mid-Card/Lower Main Event guy, and built guys up further.

That or JoMo, both guys have beaten each other, and seems still like the best fit.

XL

11-29-2010, 07:29 AM

He did get pinned in the Bragging Rights match, after a Mysterio botch no less.

Volare

11-29-2010, 08:39 AM

He did get pinned in the Bragging Rights match, after a Mysterio botch no less.

Alright, then say it's a single's match win streak, which is what KOTR is.

Triple Naitch

11-29-2010, 09:36 AM

I think Christian is the only person to ever pin him in a singles match.

jskinnyg

11-29-2010, 11:21 AM

His theme song is all you need.

There u have it...

Mr. Nerfect

11-30-2010, 02:12 AM

I prefer Zeke when he is paired up with someone. Personally, I'd take Alex Riley out of his pairing with The Miz (you've sort of got to punish the DUI stuff, don't you?) by having Orton punt Riley on his attempt to regain the gold. At TLC, Ezekiel Jackson comes down mid-match, and dominates Orton. Jackson calmly holds Orton in a camel clutch like move as The Miz climbs the ladder and retrieves the WWE Championship, retaining.

On RAW, The Miz reveals that he has agreed to mentor Ezekiel Jackson. Jackson comes out with the ECW Championship belt, and pretty much plays the awesome silent bad-ass type and Miz's new back-up with Alex Riley out. As part of Jackson's payment to study at The Alter of Awesome, he gives The Miz the ECW Championship belt. Meanwhile, you can have guys like Jerry Lawler on commentary saying "Ezekiel Jackson could be a huge star on his own; he doesn't need The Miz." So The Miz either orders Zeke Jackson to beat them up, or gets Zeke to beat them up and toss them to The Miz to be beaten up further. William Regal can be included in this.

The Miz also gets a new WWE Championship belt, and adds it to his collection of the spinner belt and platinum belt. When Alex Riley has spent sufficient time laying low, and selling the punt -- he can return and team with Ezekiel Jackson. That would be interesting stuff, and hopefully gives Jackson some time to come along in the ring. Eventually you have the inevitable face turn for Zeke, where The Miz blames him for one too many losses, and Jackson teaches The Miz all about "Domination."

Anybody Thrilla

11-30-2010, 12:29 PM

Why do you have to punish the DUI stuff?

Anybody Thrilla

11-30-2010, 12:31 PM

Also, I kinda hate that idea...mostly because Zeke sucks.

Volare

11-30-2010, 12:33 PM

Zeke is still undefeated since his return...

itsmeJD

11-30-2010, 05:11 PM

Zeke has a fucked up looking head....I didn't know that many rolls, hills, and divots in a person's head was possible. Looks like it's made of playdoh

Tom Guycott

12-01-2010, 09:21 AM

Zeke has a fucked up looking head....I didn't know that many rolls, hills, and divots in a person's head was possible. Looks like it's made of playdoh

He's at least a "7 hotdog bouncer".

Watch the movie "The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down" if you didn't get that joke. It's on Netflix instant watch.

Cool King

12-01-2010, 09:41 AM

Zeke has a fucked up looking head....I didn't know that many rolls, hills, and divots in a person's head was possible. Looks like it's made of playdoh

You clearly haven't seen the back of Batista's head then.

Damian Rey

12-01-2010, 03:40 PM

Also, I kinda hate that idea...mostly because Zeke sucks.

Well, the plus side of Noid's idea is it puts Zeke in an enforcer type of role, which would likely limit him to just jumping in the ring and squashing Miz' opponents, rather than actually trying to work a match.

Maximizes what little long term use he may have.

BigDaddyCool

12-01-2010, 03:49 PM

I hate the smiling faces. It looks so gay.

Cool King

12-01-2010, 03:56 PM

http://www.yakyuweb.com/mt/archives/images/rico.jpg

Anybody Thrilla

12-01-2010, 04:04 PM

Zeco?

Mike Honcho

12-01-2010, 04:12 PM

I hate the smiling faces. It looks so gay.

agreed.