#BROKEN Hasney
02-10-2011, 06:36 PM
As prestigious as always, the awards committee have once again voted in private to give these awards and will stand the test of time. <s>100</s> 98 of TPWW's most active, reputable and long-serving posters have voted for this.
Comeback Of The Year
http://midatlanticgateway.com/images/TEMPfront/TEMP_090121_flair_hogan_0812_250w_wm.jpg
Amazingly, we have a tie. Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair shocked fans and mutants alike by not shitting on their careers and coming back for TNA. Ratings have skyrocketed since as Vince Russo has written them into believable and entertaining storylines, such as Abyss and his obsession with rings. Compelling stuff.
Best "I have hit puberty, honest!" Beard Award
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a366/hollywoodh/gab.gif
Tough contest, but it swung to Justing Gabriel. Proving that if you have a babyface, but you're not a babyface, you have to grow a beard to be evil. Advice his pre-pubesant ginger girlfriend should probably take.
Best Dreadlocks On A Jobber
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/Superstars/bio/16152830
The votes had been cast before Matt Hardy burst on the scene again to a rapture of "Who? Oh that guy. The one that MVP made look good then fucked off to insignificance and now he's back? Didn't he kill a dog?". Tyler is deserving of this award for his dreads, even if a burning hammer sounds like a constipated shit after a chilli dog.
The submission holds are shit and you'll never get over because you're dull and come out to royalty-free music sponsored by Just For Men... of the year award
http://www.gerweck.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/americandragon.jpg
Come on, even the play-by-play guy hates him because he's a vegan nerd. I do look forward to his trade to Smackdown followed by his future endeavours though. Maybe he'd learn some stamina and not have to go for rest holds all the time. Submissions my arse.
Best impersonation of TPWW poster The Mask award
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/15200000/Wade-Barrett-wade-barrett-15219605-800-600.jpg
No-one really competed looks-wise this year, but this guy nailed the accent to a tee. Big things are expected from him just for this one trait.
Black man of the year
http://tgif.staradvertiser.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/0818_sheamus.jpg
Bit of an upset, I have to say. Thought this would be Santino's year, but the gangbanger from Harlem and current king of the ring Sheamus pulled it off. Must take a lot of skin whitener to pull off his current Irish gimmick. Hope it comes off, his gimmick is getting stale.
Wrestler most likely to do voice dubbing for a low-budget Japanese video game 2010 sponsored by Shenmue 3
http://www.tvfanatic.com/files/john-morrison.jpg
If you've played Shenmue, think of an angle where John Morrison needs to find some sailors. Yes, Ryo Hazuki himself, John Morrison can deliver your monotone lines on command. He's that damn good.
Wrestler of the Year
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_FBDd8oNqiSQ/S7w4QgBM1pI/AAAAAAAAAXo/jCJ0yiebKWY/s1600/The-Marine-john-cena-02.jpg
Despite one member of the committee yelling that he would "expose these awards as a sham if Triple H didn't win this despite only bothering to show up for half the year" (Side note: pretty sure you can tell these are legit by the winners), John Cena won this in a landslide. Some of the technical classics he's put on this past year have been second to none and showed wrestlers like Daniel Bryan and CM Punk what they need to do to actually get over one day and go in the ring at the same time. God bless you John Cena, I love you and your poop jokes.
Comeback Of The Year
http://midatlanticgateway.com/images/TEMPfront/TEMP_090121_flair_hogan_0812_250w_wm.jpg
Amazingly, we have a tie. Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair shocked fans and mutants alike by not shitting on their careers and coming back for TNA. Ratings have skyrocketed since as Vince Russo has written them into believable and entertaining storylines, such as Abyss and his obsession with rings. Compelling stuff.
Best "I have hit puberty, honest!" Beard Award
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a366/hollywoodh/gab.gif
Tough contest, but it swung to Justing Gabriel. Proving that if you have a babyface, but you're not a babyface, you have to grow a beard to be evil. Advice his pre-pubesant ginger girlfriend should probably take.
Best Dreadlocks On A Jobber
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/Superstars/bio/16152830
The votes had been cast before Matt Hardy burst on the scene again to a rapture of "Who? Oh that guy. The one that MVP made look good then fucked off to insignificance and now he's back? Didn't he kill a dog?". Tyler is deserving of this award for his dreads, even if a burning hammer sounds like a constipated shit after a chilli dog.
The submission holds are shit and you'll never get over because you're dull and come out to royalty-free music sponsored by Just For Men... of the year award
http://www.gerweck.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/americandragon.jpg
Come on, even the play-by-play guy hates him because he's a vegan nerd. I do look forward to his trade to Smackdown followed by his future endeavours though. Maybe he'd learn some stamina and not have to go for rest holds all the time. Submissions my arse.
Best impersonation of TPWW poster The Mask award
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/15200000/Wade-Barrett-wade-barrett-15219605-800-600.jpg
No-one really competed looks-wise this year, but this guy nailed the accent to a tee. Big things are expected from him just for this one trait.
Black man of the year
http://tgif.staradvertiser.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/0818_sheamus.jpg
Bit of an upset, I have to say. Thought this would be Santino's year, but the gangbanger from Harlem and current king of the ring Sheamus pulled it off. Must take a lot of skin whitener to pull off his current Irish gimmick. Hope it comes off, his gimmick is getting stale.
Wrestler most likely to do voice dubbing for a low-budget Japanese video game 2010 sponsored by Shenmue 3
http://www.tvfanatic.com/files/john-morrison.jpg
If you've played Shenmue, think of an angle where John Morrison needs to find some sailors. Yes, Ryo Hazuki himself, John Morrison can deliver your monotone lines on command. He's that damn good.
Wrestler of the Year
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_FBDd8oNqiSQ/S7w4QgBM1pI/AAAAAAAAAXo/jCJ0yiebKWY/s1600/The-Marine-john-cena-02.jpg
Despite one member of the committee yelling that he would "expose these awards as a sham if Triple H didn't win this despite only bothering to show up for half the year" (Side note: pretty sure you can tell these are legit by the winners), John Cena won this in a landslide. Some of the technical classics he's put on this past year have been second to none and showed wrestlers like Daniel Bryan and CM Punk what they need to do to actually get over one day and go in the ring at the same time. God bless you John Cena, I love you and your poop jokes.