RAW Captions [4-26-2004]

[Corkscrewed]

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[OssMan]

LOL some great pics.

[Corkscrewed]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg
Things got a little ugly when Gail and Victoria got trapped in Jamie Noble's torso portal.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg
Lita never believed the stories her mom told about the "Botch Monster" coming to eat her if she made enough mistakes. Now, she was starting to regret that.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/03.jpg
Sometimes, Coach got a little too into the flea circus on his finger.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg
HHH: "That's right Tajiri, they're homos. ALL of them. That's why I always **** them from behind."
Tajiri: :lol: :wtf:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
Figures that Triple H couldn't tell the difference between something green and bushy all over and his wife.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/06.jpg
Caught in this dire predicament, Rhyno desperately pulled the cable, causing the Triple H Anvil to fall on Conway and give him the win.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/07.jpg
"So I push one of these buttons and someone's push magically disappears? Wow, this Triple H machine is fun!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/08.jpg
Benoit: "If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be? "
Michaels: "Taylor Hanson."
Benoit: "Taylor Hanson is a guy."
Michaels: "Hahaha! You guys are yankin' me. 'Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire.'"
Benoit: "No, he's actually a guy, Shawn."
Michaels: "What? That's insane. That's impossible. *Pause* Oh god. Oh my god. I've got all these magazines. Oh god."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/09.jpg
Christian: "You're not going anywhere Matt! Now, my lovely assistant Trish will just give you a bowl cut and you'll be well on your way!"
Matt: *muffled* "Nooooooooo!!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/10.jpg
Grandmaster Sexay was disgusted when he learned he was going to have to clean Mark Henry's pen, as well as all the droppings...

OR

(offscreen)
Chris: "Oh my god, the feds are here! Run ET!"
ET: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/11.jpg
Trish: "I'll never let go! I'll never let go, Jack!"
Tyson: "Jack? My name's TYSON!"
Trish: "Oh, um... er..."
Tyson: "Screw that! You can suffer in that move!" *lets go*
Trish: "No! *Chris applies more pressure* Ahhhhhh!!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/12.jpg
Christian: "Good job Batista!" *rubs his pecs*
Tomko: "Um, I'm Tyson, not Batista."
Christian: "Sorry, force of habit. You two could be brothers ya know?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/13.jpg
When Triple H summoned up the spirit of Baraka, Liu Kang knew he was screwed.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/14.jpg
The boys in the back said Tajiri was putting a shoe into his mouth after he accidentall badmouthed HHH in his presence. Tajiri didn't think literally though.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/15.jpg
Kane's new ventriloquist act got off to a bad start when he positioned the dummy the wrong way.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/16.jpg
Lita: "Oh Hunter, I offer thee this sacrifice at thy altar in hopes of an undeserved push for yet another year."
Kane: "Um, I'm Kane, not Triple H. Besides, he'd tell you himself that he doesn't take used goods."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/17.jpg
Lita: "Oh no! The Botch Monster is back again!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/18.jpg
King had the biggest hard-on ever until Stacy decided to let one rip right then and there.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/19.jpg
Can't think of anything right now.

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Orton: "Lemme get this straight. You were called 'The King,' but you DIDN'T scream 'PUPPIES!' every five seconds???"

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Rhyno's antics went too far when he put some on Edge's boots after Edge threatened to take them, shine them up real nice, turn them sidewise, and stick them straight up Flair's candy ass.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/22.jpg
Ref: "It's okay, Dave! This time, the camera view is from your left!

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The birthing process was long and difficult, but after a couple of hours, Dave Batista finally pushed out and healthy baby Benoit.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/24.jpg
Edge marvelled at how a man with such saggy boobs as Flair could have such a firm and trim ass.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/25.jpg
Benoit: "Look, a spider Shawn!"
Michaels: "Ha! I'm not afraid of spiders! You can't get me with that tri--"
Benoit: "It's Sting!!!"
Michaels: "What? I hate scorpions! Get it off!!" *taps furiously*

[BigDaddyCool]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg
Ref: No, no, no, it is step, pivot, step, step, jazz hands.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
I don't think any caption can acctually top what really here, ever.

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Kane: Look, I'm going to start kissing the air, and if we make out, it is your own fault.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/17.jpg
Kane: Ok, I warned you.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/19.jpg
Stacey: Here is the 3rd coolest person from Kansas City.
(BDC and Harry Truman are first and second).

[PureHatred]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg
Lita was terrified by Kane's breathe. But Kane was even more scared that Lita would botch the kiss and kill them both.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
Triple H had blamed everyone else for the low ratings the last few years. It was now Mr. Planty's turn.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/06.jpg
These days, this was the only way to keep Rhyno from wiping out the buffet table backstage.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/07.jpg
Fireworks Guy: Hey don't touch that! You might get fired!

Eugene: Whatever it takes to get out of this lame-ass gimmick..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/12.jpg
"Wow, Tyson, your implants are nicer than Trish's!" *swoon*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/18.jpg
The entire audience is grateful that the camera didn't pick up what Jerry was doing with his left hand.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/24.jpg
To his dismay, Edge finds out the hard way that Ric forgot to wear his adult diapers to tonight's match.

[Rock Bottom]

First of all, I love you Corky for spacing them out ahead of time. :D

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg
That would be the last time these two had a threesome with Rhyno.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg
Lita was the first experiment in Vince McMahon's new "Scared Straight" program, implimented with the intention of scaring straight anyone who botches a move.

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Coach: Then, why don't you go get me some fly lice...
Tajiri: It's FRY RICE, you plick!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg
Triple H decided to take Tajiri under his wing.

Triple H: Ok, so first, you point at them and laugh. It really buries them.
Tajiri: Hai. (Both point and laugh)
Triple H: Then, you unzip your pants, like so...
Tajiri: Hai. (Both unzip their pants)
Triple H: Then, you... (whispers)
Tajiri: (listening)...(Spews green mist) Hai!
Triple H: Well, that works too.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
Triple H: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CRAP. Unbelievable. How DARE you have leaves greener than my face.
Tree: ...
Triple H: Look at me when I'm talking to you, you jobbing piece of shit.

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Conway: I will rip your eyes from their sockets and skull-fuc</>k you!
Rhyno: ...
Conway: How tall are you, private?

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General: President Bush, are you sure? Austrailia has done nothing to us!

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Benoit: And next week, I'm going to defend it for the third time in a row.
Michaels: No way.
Benoit: Way.
Michaels: No... Way!
Benoit: Wayyy.
Michaels: No, way!
Benoit: Way.
Michaels: Alllllllllll righty then.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/09.jpg
(PA comes on)
Triple H: May I have your attention, will the person who is about to do an Ultimo Dragon move please step into my office, thank you.
Christian: Ah shit.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/10.jpg
Lawler: There's Charlie everywhere... WATCH YOUR TAIL, HE'S RIGHT ON YOU! Man oh man oh man... NO! GOD DAMNIT PULL UP! PULL UP! ARGH! (Begins weeping) DIE YOU GOOK BASTARDS! DIE! DIE!!!!!
Christian: I knew I shouldn't have let him do a top-rope move.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/11.jpg
Tomko and Jericho desperately tried to stretch Trish out so that her breasts would be more proportionate to her body.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/12.jpg
Tomko: TRIPLE X DID NOT SUCK. AND FAST AND THE FURIOUS WAS THE SHIT.
Christian: It's okay, calm down, Triple X was the bomb...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/13.jpg
Triple H: Say it... Say it...
Tajiri: Noooooooo!
Triple H: SAY IT... OH GOD SAY IT...
Tajiri: You're still the champ in my eyes! You're still the champ in my eyes!
Triple H: Ohmygod... ohmy... Ohmygod... B... BBBB... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAH.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/14.jpg
Triple H: (Stomp) That (Stomp) will (Stomp) teach (Stomp) you (Stomp) to (Stomp) speak (Stomp) better (Stomp) Japanese (Stomp) than (Stomp) ME.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/15.jpg
Kane: Matt... Meet Mat.
Matt: Yeah, I already know him pretty we- (THUD.)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/16.jpg
Matt: Oh yeah, extra crispy is definitely better than original recipe...
Kane: Mmmm. That's right baby...
Lita: !?
Matt: Lita! It's not how it looks!
Lita: *Runs away crying*
Matt: (Pulls KFC bucket out) Damnit.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/17.jpg
Kane: Oh yeah, you're definitely gonna need three root canals, and you're going to need all of your front teeth pulled.
Lita: Why!?
Kane: Word is, Triple H has taken a liking to your mouth.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/18.jpg
So this is how The King "shines his crown..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/19.jpg
Stacy: So... Is it true what they say about old people?
Race: No, but it's true what they say about viagra.
Stacy: :drool:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/20.jpg
Randy: Harley Race... A WWE legend. Meets Randy Orton, The Legend Killer. But I'm not here to kill you, Mr. Race.
Harley: Why's that..?
Randy: Any man that can piss out of that thing is more man than I'll ever be...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/21.jpg
Flair: See Edge, this is what I'm talking about. Foley is so fat and out of shape, he can't go... more than... five... m... (ZzZzZzZzZ)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/22.jpg
Batista's ripoff of Goldust's "Croc-Hunter" routine didn't go to well.

Batista: Awww, crikey... Lookit the soize of him... I'm gonna punch im in the balls, that'll RILLY piss him off!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/23.jpg
Batista tried to play off of the ref's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to try and win back the Teag Team Championship...

Batista: Okay, Ref, imagine you're at a door... And you see a doorbell. What do you do?
Ref: RINGTHEBELLRINGTHEBELLRINGTHEBELLRINGTHEBELLRINGTHEBELL!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/24.jpg
But Edge grew smart to Batista's game.

Edge: *Spear* Okay, Ref, imagine there is a fly that just won't go away right under your hand... What do you do?
Ref: (Repeatedly slams his hand to the mat)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/25.jpg
Michaels: Jeez these Sharpshooters are starting to kill my credibility... The irony...
Benoit: Credibility? I shit on your credibility! (Begins straining)
Michaels: Oh God...

[PureHatred]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Rock Bottom again

[Fryza]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg

Worst. Unprettier/Reverse DDT. Ever.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg

Kane soon learned it's hard to suck the soul out of one without a soul. Triple H's "Shang Tsung" lessons were false!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/03.jpg

Coach: No, I'M a homo!...Okay, not cool.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg

H: Did he just call himself a homo?
Taijiri: Yeah, he just carred himserf a homo.
H: That is great! HAHAHA
Taijiri: Yeah, dat is rearry great.
H: You know what's funnier?
Taijiri: Rwhat?
H: You jobbed to him!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg

Hunter: HUNTER....MAD! HUNTER....DO BUSHWHACKER DANCE!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/06.jpg

Rhyno: Hera, GIVE ME STRENGTH!
Rob: Not gonna' work..
Rhyno: Dammit....umm...By the power of Gray Skull...I HAVE THE POWER!!!!
Rob: Or that...
Rhyno: ....dammit.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/07.jpg

Technician: Sure..you can't use the Tongan Death Grip on machinary..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/08.jpg

Benoit: Did you hear about Shelton sleeping with Stacey?
Shawn: What?! No!
Benoit: Mhmm girl.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/09.jpg

It was at this moment that poor JR feel out of his chair, a vein on his face bursting, and he himself foaming at the mouth. Though he was gone, his last words were noted to be- "BAH GAWD UNPRETTIER".

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/10.jpg

Brian: Oh sure..Scotty gets the Power Ranger gimmick...and I get to be a cliff diver..argh it's a long ways down. Now I know what Jeff Hardy must feel like..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/11.jpg

Trish's new submission and double team was just plain poor.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/12.jpg

Christian: Oh..wow, I'm a huge fan of you guys. Go Anthrax!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/13.jpg

Hunter: HUNTER...STRETCH!
Taijiri: Oh, for the rove of God, somerun herp me..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/14.jpg

Worst. Swingset. Ever.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/15.jpg

When the jobbers came falling through the glass ceiling, why did they always have to land on Kane?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/16.jpg

Not many people were impressed with Lita's Moses gimmick. Partly due to the fact she couldn't even part jobbers, let alone a sea.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/17.jpg

Kane: Don't be afraid, you'll beat me clean at the next PPV..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/18.jpg

Just then, Stacey remembered her worst nightmare of freezing in place, and she had that 'dream' again.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/19.jpg

Stacey was a little worried. I mean, you'd be too if some random old man grabbed your hand and raised it, then got excited.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/20.jpg

Randy: So..uh...'ow's the wife and kids?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/21.jpg

The Chinese Person Trap made its WWE debute.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/22.jpg

Just then, Dave had an out-of-body experience and saw himself in the clutches of the Crippler Crossface. The sudden moment of hour was surpassed when he remembered that he left the stove on..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/23.jpg

Benoit: Sharpshooter...American...shit..Don't...reveal...Canadian...heritage..
Ref: Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
Benoit: What? Daddy? Mr. Benoit, and he's retired in Calgary...
Ref: Canada?! *rings bells*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/24.jpg

Edge just couldn't help the feel.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/25.jpg

Two days later, some random (Canadian) (Internet) fan had placed the word "Own'd" under Shawn in "defiance" of the '97 SS match.

[Fryza]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
Triple H: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CRAP. Unbelievable. How DARE you have leaves greener than my face.
Tree: ...
Triple H: Look at me when I'm talking to you, you jobbing piece of shit.

I love you.

[tucsonspeed6]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg

Kane: Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhalitosis!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/13.jpg
HHH just couldn't do anything right on Raw. He even botched the dip in the dance contest. What a shame.... :nono:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg
HHH: You see, that's the deal everyone gets when they come to Raw...you either take what's in my left hand, or you go where my right hand points, which is right the f*** out of my building.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/16.jpg
Worst...fieldgoal...ever!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/20.jpg
Orton (to Stacy): You're never gonna get into this house. Why don't you give up? You're too skinny and your tits are too small...
(to Race) ...and you. You're too.......too......BLONDE!!!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/15.jpg
Matt: Hey! I've found a hole in the glass ceiling!
Kane: Take me with you!!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/21.jpg
Flair: Oh I hate it when my Schwartz gets tangled!!!

[Savio]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
HHH realized the tree was getting over, he put a stop to that.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg
Gaill kim was about to get another push, thank god superman made the save.

[loopydate]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg

GAIL: As the future World Women's Champion, I encourage you from time to time - and always in a respectful manner - to critique my matches. If you're unconvinced that a particular move I've used is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up the fact that I'm a Canadian being announced as "from Korea" as a negative is - I collect your f</>ucking arm. Just like this f</>ucker here. Now, if any of you botchtastic bitches got anything else to say, NOW'S THE F</>UCKING TIME! I didn't think so.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg

LITA: Don't come any nearer! I'll botch the blowjob!
KANE: How do you bo--AHHHHHHHH!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/03.jpg

COACH: Ichigo nazo benjo.
TAJIRI: "Strawberry mystery toilet?!?" :wtf:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg

No, no, guys. The mist that turns people inside out is BEHIND YOU!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg

HHH: Yeah? Well...uh...YOUR roots don't look natural, either!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/06.jpg

RHYNO: Must...slap...Conw--what the hell? Why can't I open my hand?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/07.jpg

TECH: No, Mister Savage. I'm afraid we're out of Slim Jims.
SAVAGE: SNAPINTOITOOOOOOOHYEAH!
JR: Ah like that guy's style, bahgawdstunnerliterallybrokeninhalf.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/08.jpg

CHRIS: No, seriously. I just read this guy's fantasy booking on TPWW, and I'm going to hold these belts for a year, and Edge is going to win the Intercontinental Title, and we're--why are you stifling a laugh?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/09.jpg

Jay "Limbo Instructor" Reso had a tendency to be a little rough on the noobs.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/10.jpg

The Red Baron looked on in horror. That damned beagle brought re-inforcements!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/11.jpg

TYSON: Hi, Trish! Ohmigod, I'm your biggest fan! This is...wow, this is such a thrill. I mean--

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/12.jpg

TYSON: Um...Christian? The fire's been out for, like, fifteen minutes.
CHRISTIAN: *Pat pat* So? *Pat pat* Say, did anyone ever tell you that you have really nice pecs?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/13.jpg

HHH: DIE JOBBER! When I ask you a simple "yes-or-no" question, "Hi" is NOT an option!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/14.jpg

Triple H had read the how-to book cover-to-cover (except for the couple of pages missing from the first section) and even tried it himself, but he just couldn't see what all the fuss was over water skiing.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/15.jpg

KANE: Oh, God! Now it's raining 2000!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/16.jpg

LITA: Botchbait OOH HA HA!
KANE: What the fu--
MATT: Let her be, she saw "Finding Nemo" again last night.
LITA: Okay, a mollusk walks up to this sea cucumber, well he doesn't actually walk, he's just there, and he turns to the sea cucumber, and... Well, wait, there's a mollusk and a sea cucumber and...
KANE: Jesus Christ, she botches jokes, too.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/17.jpg

KANE: Ohhhhhhhh... It all makes sense now!
LITA: What?
KANE: You've got an impaction on your "botchus moonsaultus" nerve.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/18.jpg

Just seconds before this picture, Lawler had been sitting directly behind Stacy. At this moment, he made a mental note: No more Cheesy Gordita Crunches for Ms. Keibler.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/19.jpg

STACY: Ohmigodohmigodohmigod! It's Powder!
RACE: :wtf:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/20.jpg

Race humored the kid (and admitted he had some talent), but...he just didn't see how "Nose Composer" could possibly get over as a gimmick.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/21.jpg

When Flair couldn't roll himself to the ropes, it was time for the Evolution Brand Omnifan!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/22.jpg

DAVE: *Sniff*
CHRIS: Not falling for that again!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/23.jpg

REF: Hey, remember when I turned into an Agent last week? That was awesome!
CHRIS Now...*grunt*...isn't the time!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/24.jpg

EDGE: Ric, do you have something hidden back here?
RIC: Depends.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/25.jpg

Gaston may have been a dick, but damned if he didn't do the best Sharpshooter in all of rural France.

[loopydate]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg
Lita was terrified by Kane's breathe. But Kane was even more scared that Lita would botch the kiss and kill them both.
:D

[PureHatred]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg

GAIL: As the future World Women's Champion, I encourage you from time to time - and always in a respectful manner - to critique my matches. If you're unconvinced that a particular move I've used is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up the fact that I'm a Canadian being announced as "from Korea" as a negative is - I collect your f</>ucking arm. Just like this f</>ucker here. Now, if any of you botchtastic bitches got anything else to say, NOW'S THE F</>UCKING TIME! I didn't think so.

That was f*cking genius

[Hired Hitman]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg

priceless.

[Savio]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/09.jpg
Worst unprettier ever.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/11.jpg
Trish: oooooooo ow ow ow oooooo I can't breath.
*cuts to JR and the king*
King: Wow she acutally looks hurt
JR: No I think she is
King: well we'll check on her
JR: wel be back after this break I- She's Broken in half Baw GAWD, GOOD GOD O MIGHTY!
(You probably won't get this if you haven't seen the ROFL thread)

[Nowhere Man]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg

Vince knew it was a bad idea to hire evil warlocks as referees. but by the time they had started fusing the entire Women's Division together into one horrific monster, it was too late to stop them.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg

Ever the master of reverse psychology, Kane unveils his new gimmick: a reverse on the old Isaac Yankem character, where he is an evil dentist patient who won't relent until someone fixes his cavities.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/03.jpg

Tajiri didn't mind Coach gingerly stroking his goatee, but when he started singing "Sexual Healing," it just really started to get creepy.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg

The classic Triple H/Tajiri Unenthusiastic Disco Contest ended in tragedy when both men were killed in a surprise nerve gas attack.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg

Hoping to cut costs, all Evolution promos will now just be conducted by Triple H doing a grumpy-old-man impression, accompanied by green facepaint and plants to symbolize Orton and Batista.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/06.jpg

Not even Conway's vicious reverse chinlock could hold down Rhyno's Black Power for long.

On a strange side note, Teddy Long was recently seen gluing people and things together, while Rob Conway was recently found shot in the ass. Coincidence?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/07.jpg

I gotta say, Terry Gordy looks great these days. What's his diet?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/08.jpg

Benoit knew his promo skills were weak compared to Michaels, so he sabotaged the Heartbreak Kid by shoving lemons into HBK's mouth just before the cameras rolled.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/09.jpg

Jerry had to be embarrassed. In his day, he was one of the biggest wrestling superstars in the world, and now his son can't even do a snapmare right.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/10.jpg

The horror that struck Grand Master Sexay when he learned his goggles were stuck to his head was only matched by the horror that struck him when he learned that his hands were now stuck to his goggles. If he'd only watched more Rhyno matches while he was out.....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/11.jpg

The whole idea of "making the save" didn't really dawn on Tyson until just after he and Jericho had ripped Trish in half.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/12.jpg

Dux: For the last time, Christian, I do NOT need a mammogram!!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/13.jpg

Tajiri figured he could withstand the pain of an abdominal stretch, not expecting his left bicep to spontaneously explode while in the hold.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/14.jpg

Y'know, considering how long Trips had been hanging around with X-Pac, you'd think eventually he would've picked up on how to do the Bronco Buster.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/15.jpg

Not satisfied with the direction he'd taken his character in earlier, Glenn "Evil Dental Patient With a Midcarder for an Arm" Jacobs decides to add a new dimension to the gimmick.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/16.jpg

This horrible new monster of a character could only be put to a stop by one person: Lita, the One-Person Southern Baptist Revival

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/17.jpg

FInally, the two find solace and romance with one another, and spend the rest of their lives happily inspecting each other's teeth.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/18.jpg

Jerry would've been a lot happier had Stacy not eaten at the Taco Hut that night.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/19.jpg

Harley Race: Seven Time NWA World Champion, Wrestling All-Time Legend, and the best damned Intergender "Red Rover Red Rover" competitor who ever lived.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/20.jpg

Orton: Hi, Mister Race, my name's Randy, and I was wondering. Could I, um, y'know, borrow your heat for a little while? I mean, you're not using it anymore, and Mr. Flair and Mr. Foley were nice enough to give me theirs, so....y'know....
Race: This is how you make main-eventers these days?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/21.jpg

People always bust HHH's chops for not selling anyone else's offense, but Flair taking a nap while Edge has his own finisher on him is really crossing the line.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/22.jpg

As World Heavyweight and World Tag Team Champion, Benoit was now the focal point of the whole show, and the pressure was on. His matches had to be more exciting, his suplexes crisper, his chops louder, his "Guess Who's?" more violent. Yessir, it's not easy being champion, but damn if Benoit can't do it.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/23.jpg

Triple H can blab on all he wants about his workout regimen, but in my book, NOBODY does push-ups more hardcore than Benoit.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/24.jpg

Earl Hebner winds up to bitch-slap the hell out of Edge for grabbing Flair's ass like that.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/25.jpg

To cope with the horrible pain of the Sharpshooter, HBK begins to eat his own hair to distract himself.

-----

Bleh. I've done better.

[loopydate]

LOL, NM.

I loved the lemons one and all of the HHH/Tajiri captions. Great stuff.

[Savio]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/24.jpg
You are wearing that thong I gave you :love:

[Innovator]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg
Gail: AH! OK! You're the pitcher and I'm the catcher!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg
Lita "Gonerria Spreader" didn't go over too well

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/03.jpg
Coach: M-A-R-S, bitches

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg
HHH, always believe a Japanese guy when he says Godzilla is coming...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
Hunter is often delirious after eating at "Buffet de Steph"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/06.jpg
Rhyno: Let's wait for a minute and do the bump
Conway: :wtf:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/07.jpg
Eugene: Michael Cole!
Cole: dammit, back to SmackDown

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/08.jpg
Benoit: IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEEEL EL EL EL EL EL! What the Crippler......IS COOKING! *cocks Crippler's Eyebrow*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/09.jpg
Ultimo looks different, doesn't he?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/10.jpg
You'd have the same face if you saw Randy "Legend Pleasurer" Orton at work

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/11.jpg
Dr. Tomko is very swift at deliveries

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/12.jpg
Christian: Hey Tyson...how much ya bench?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/13.jpg
Tajiri: OH MY GOD! HHH! My mother in law is never gonna believe this
HHH: Thats cause she's never gonna find out *snap*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/14.jpg
HHH: You do not spit better than me!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/15.jpg
Kane's Michael Jackson wasn't going too well, I mean did Hardy have to be the baby?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/16.jpg
Kane drops V-1 when his idol Avril Lavigne shows up

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/17.jpg
Kane: *sniff* Binaca?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/18.jpg
Even God stops and admires a full moon once a while

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/19.jpg
Stacy and Harley got into RVD's stash, They were dancing around a maypole...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/21.jpg
Edge: TAP!
Ric: *snore*
Edge: Hey look! Theres Raven drawing a crowd!
Ric: What!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/22.jpg
Benoit: AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Batista: AH *taps*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/23.jpg
Benoit: **** YO COUCH NIGGA!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/24.jpg
Edge: I'll never let go Ric...
Ric: AH! LET GO!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/25.jpg
HBK: How many more sharpshooters do I have to give up to?
Benoit: Until Bret comes back
HBK: Ah shit

[Batsu]

LMFAO at the Benoit-Rick James reference.

[Rain Man]

<img src="http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/12.jpg">
Damn and I thought Trish's were big!!!!

[OssMan]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/25.jpg

THE FINAL ENCOUNTER between centaur Benoichaels and giant Chicken Man.

[Gone Mad]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg
Lita tries to avoid Kane but her stiff acting reminded him of that girl Katie.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg
HHH: Um, I think your credability went that way.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
HHH: Nobody puts Baby in the corner.

TREE: ...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/07.jpg
Eugene star-struck as he finds T.V's Superman, Dean Cain!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/11.jpg
ZOMBIE SCOTT IAN?!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/13.jpg
AsHHH: Hail to the King, Baby.

Taj: ...BaBy-deska?!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/18.jpg
Stacy: Haha, He's the King, and I'm in the corner and my name's not Baby.Heehee.. I don't get it.

King: .................Puppies!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/22.jpg
Benoit: Peek-A-Boo! Guess who?

Batista: I know it's you, Ben-

Benoit: PEEK- AH- BOOO!
OR

Ref: Rest In Peace... SUCKA!!
OR

Batista: Damn you,gonMad! Damn you and your crappy captions!

[Corkscrewed]

Nice Kill Bill read, Loopy! Now tell me which one of mine were good! :p

:y: :y:

[Blue Demon]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/08.jpg

Chris: Shawn...only who can prevent forest fires?

[El Santo]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg
Ref: "Oh, God... what do I go for, tits or ass? Aw hell, I'll have them both!!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg
Lita was relieved that Steven Richards ad saved her from a sex-hungry Kane, but, at the same time, she gasped in horror at the horrible price he had to pay.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/03.jpg
Coach: "You know, Tajiri, I've always had a thing for Asians."

Impaired Judgment: another side effect of hunger. Grab a snickers.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg
In a heartwarming moment, both Tajiri and HHH broke kayfabe to give props to the Fonz.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
HHH: "You march on Isengard, dammit, or all Middle Earth is lost!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/06.jpg
Rhyno: "Damn you, Elmers! Where are you in my time of need?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/07.jpg
The tech grows frustrated as Eugene proves to be his better at Rock-Paper-Scissors.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/08.jpg
Benoit: "Unforgettable... that's what you are... take it away, Shawn..."
HBK: "Ummmm...."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/09.jpg
Christian knew that something was mentally screwed up with Brian Christopher when he started sucking his thumb midmatch.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/10.jpg
GMS: "Oh my God! I came back to the WWE, and I have no wrestling skills whatsoever!" Pounds head. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/11.jpg
Things got horribly surreal when "The Magician" Tyson Tomko pulled Trish Stratus out of Jericho's ass.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/12.jpg
Christian, ever a champion of decency, saves the world from another wardrobe malfunction.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/13.jpg
The brutality of HHH's attack reached a new level when Tajiri's left forearm snapped clean off!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/14.jpg
Tajiri: "Gah!!! You're crushing my neck with your hee----!"
HHH: "Shhhh! Godammit, not in public! Not while Ric's around!"
Tajiri: "Oh, um, you're crushing my neck with your bad guy?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/15.jpg
Kane just loved his new Matt Hardy doll!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/16.jpg
Kane was just not amused with the new "Zombie Lita" gimmick.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/17.jpg
Kane: "For the love of God, Lita, how many times have I told you... if you don't floss, you're more susceptible to the gum disease known as gingivitis!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/18.jpg
JR: "And on the ring ropes, ladies and gentlemen, is the tightest ass I have ever seen! ... And Stacy's there, too."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/19.jpg
Stacy: Ow, wow! Andy Rooney! I love you on 60 Minutes!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/20.jpg
Harley tried to stay in a good mood, but he never was a fan of hiphop, and he was damn sure that Randy wasn't the one with the rap gimmick.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/21.jpg
Edge discovered the Figure Four Leglock's true secret: it's user had the power to go Super Saiyan!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/22.jpg
The Ref was disappointed that nobody wanted to play "Where is thumbman?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/23.jpg
The Ref was also chagrined when nobody wanted a piggyback ride.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/24.jpg
Edge: "Aw, geez, I didn't know that anyone left an elephant rug in the middle of the ring."
Ric: "Jackass."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/25.jpg
Benoit's theory that "HBK" was a evil doppleganger proved to be true when Shawn's face melted away.

[Azriel]

:lol: Damn you guys. Cork has his work cut out for him. Great stuff all around

[loopydate]

Now tell me which one of mine were good! :p

:y: :y:
Okay.



http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg
Lita never believed the stories her mom told about the "Botch Monster" coming to eat her if she made enough mistakes. Now, she was starting to regret that.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg
HHH: "That's right Tajiri, they're homos. ALL of them. That's why I always **** them from behind."
Tajiri: :lol: :wtf:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/06.jpg
Caught in this dire predicament, Rhyno desperately pulled the cable, causing the Triple H Anvil to fall on Conway and give him the win.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/07.jpg
"So I push one of these buttons and someone's push magically disappears? Wow, this Triple H machine is fun!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/15.jpg
Kane's new ventriloquist act got off to a bad start when he positioned the dummy the wrong way.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/20.jpg
Orton: "Lemme get this straight. You were called 'The King,' but you DIDN'T scream 'PUPPIES!' every five seconds???"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/22.jpg
Ref: "It's okay, Dave! This time, the camera view is from your left!

[Blue Demon]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/16.jpg

Kane: Ohhh....red head....nice and purdy.

[Vastardikai]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/01.jpg

ref: Come here for a hug you gorgeous, mishapen freak, you!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg

The bookers learned a horrible lesson that day: Lita's bad acting can cause projectile vomitting.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/03.jpg

Coach: I've got a booger up my nose? Yeah, right.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/04.jpg

Trips and Tajiri laugh, not knowing that the Green Lantern has them where we wants them!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg

Trips: Mmmm... Minty!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/06.jpg

Conway: Where's my Popcorn?

and an old joke makes its return...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/07.jpg

Eugene discovered the whereabouts of long lost Livewire host Todd Pettingill.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/08.jpg

Benoit smirks at Shawn's Bitter Beer Face

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/09.jpg

People started realizing that Christian had hung around Brian Knobbs a little too long when he started giving people his version of the Pit Stop

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/10.jpg

Brian Christopher takes a deep breath: Having to help Steph with her "Freshness" is a dirty job, but SOMEBODY had to do it...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/11.jpg

Tomko lost his first match: A tug of war challenge against Chris Jericho.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/12.jpg

Sexual Harassment, Panda!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/13.jpg

Fans were tired of seeing Triple H distribute pushes in ring...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/14.jpg

Triple H, holding people down even while taking a shit...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/15.jpg

Kane is elevating Matt Hardy. It's about time the old guys tried to make some new stars...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/16.jpg

Lita got what she always wanted: a Life sized Jobber...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/17.jpg

Kane: I wanna f*** you like an Animal...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/18.jpg

Jerry "the King of Pedophiles" Lawler strikes again.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/19.jpg

Lex Luger had underwent some changes ever since taking Harley Race as his manager...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/20.jpg

Randy: I am Randy Orton...Legend Ki...

Harley: I still have $25,000...

Randy: Nevermind. *gulp*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/21.jpg

Foot fetish: Redefined...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/22.jpg

The ref chose the damndest times to request a handshake...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/23.jpg

Benoit tries everything he can to take Charlie Haas' Hardcore Pushup title...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/24.jpg

Maynard James Keenan: (off-camera) Finger deep withing the borderline...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/25.jpg

Even though he was in the Sharpshooter, HBK wanted to get to his plate...

[Corkscrewed]

Thanks Loopy! El Santo, you were on FIRE! :rofl: on the Isengard bit! :y: :y:

[Loose Cannon]

My captions were so good this week, I think I'll archive all of them.

[Corkscrewed]

Especially the Family Guy ones *cough cough*

[loopydate]

I think I'll archive this whole thread.

[rob11]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/05.jpg
vince changes style and dyes his jizz green this week.

[Nowhere Man]

My captions were so good this week, I think I'll archive all of them.

We're so humble, aren't we?

[targo_the_sho_stopa]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/02.jpg
Kane knew it was time for a gimmick overhaul when he contemplated the Shang Tsung angle.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/12.jpg
Tomko: No, that hurts, I have a wound!
Christian: Don't spoil it, this works for both of us.
(Kung Pow: Enther The Fist Reference)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/15.jpg
Kane: No, the HHH tractor beam. You can't have him, PLEASE!!!! I need this one at least. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/17.jpg
It got worse, Kane was trying to tap back into the Isaac Yankem gimmick

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/18.jpg
OK, who's the bigger ass???

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/19.jpg
Stacy: Harley, try deodrant
Harley: What d'ya mean
Stacy: The sweat thing just doesn't work
(OK scraping the barrel for that)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/21.jpg
I know there's something I wanna say about this, but its not comin to me

http://raw.wwe.com/results/042604/images/23.jpg
Chioda and Batista were disgusted to learn that Chris had "followed through"