Smackdown! Captions (04-29-04)

[CBright7831]

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BONUS PIC:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/postsd.jpg

[Corkscrewed]

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After his duel with the Roadrunner, Kurt Angle was never the same again.

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"I'll get you someday, Superman!!!"

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Thing made a sudden heel turn when he snuck up onto Torrie's shoulder and pulled a lock of her hair off.

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Torrie wasn't exactly sure that a lap dance for Kurt was a part of the Make-A-Wish program, but orders were orders.

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Renee couldn't help but chuckle when Torrie botched walking.

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Renee debuts his Forced Intentional 69 maneuver to the delight of the crowd.

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Realizing Torrie had been traumatized, Cena smartly made her feel a lot better with a nice breast grope.

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Renee was furious. Someone had turned the static electricity generator again!

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Renee: "I'll complete my mission, and the Justice League will be destroyed! Muahahahahahaha!!!"

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Chavo the Directionally-Confused Centaur was back with the WWE.

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Chavo could have taken over Benoit's title as King of Levitators, had it not been for the fact that Chavo Sr. was still HOLDING the belt.

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After RVD and Bubba got themselves stuck during the middle of their night of passion, D-Von found himself presented with a most difficult challenge of how to extricate the two... from each other.

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Things went too far when RVD and Eddie Guerrero joined the anti-internet campaign and called all the smarks homos.

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Gunn: "Whoa, Booker, you okay?? I told you not to do a Brock Lesnar impression!"

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Backstage, Randy Orton found himself with mixed emotions when the WWE brought out Cowboy Bob Orton for a promo.

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Taker: "Made in.... dammit! I can never figure out what that last word is!!!"

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Whoopi Goldberg's run as the Wicked Witch of the West was not as successful as most had hoped.

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Booker T gained even more heel heat when he offered two Big Macs to the Undertaker right in plain view of Paul Bearer.

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Taker was not amused by Booker's whoopi cushion.

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Rico was amazed. Not only had Charlie Haas gained the power of invisibility, he'd also gotten interesting jumping powers!

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Charlie had to get one thing clear. He was half a gecko. Not to be confused with half a GEICO, which can save people tons on their car insurance.

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Rico: Horse Whisperer demonstrates his amazing and unique powers.

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Charlie certainly was proud. Steven Richards was now THIS tall!

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Rico and Danny knew they shouldn't have worn their braces during a wrestling match.

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Somehow, Charlie didn't buy Rico's argument that he was just massaging his thighs.

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Hebner: "Um, Bubba. You should really get that Eddie-Head growth coming out of your leg checked out.

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Eddie: "I'm still being elevated! I'm still being elevated--oh shit."

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"Don't you ever steal my stash again! Don't you EVER steal my stash again! I'm ROB VAN DAM, BITCH!!!"

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Christopher Reeves was intrigued by this new Equestrian Poaching League.

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The celebration was cut short when the Giant Sky Wrench chewed off RVD's hand.

BONUS PIC:
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Eddie chuckled. All he had to do was tell RVD that D-Von was a special brownie and he'd do anything!


Agh. I sucked. I blame it on the pics. :shifty:

[Gone Mad]

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Lil' W symbol tries to cheer up Kurt after he watches "Steel Magnolias."
Kurt: You'd have to be a robot to not cry watching that movie! -bawling-

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Torrie doing her best Anna Nicole impression... or was that a Jessica Simpson..

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Cheech Sr.: Oh, crap. Found the golden ticket here.

Pepe: Hey, it is MY cho-- i mean, belt!

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RVD: Chocolate!

Eddie G.: HOMO!

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Taker: Damn.. what was my wife's name again?

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Rico: Ironic no,that young Mr. Haas has found the last 2 golden tickets which bares the resemblence of the novel of the same name. Is it not, Miss Jackie?

Jackie: Heehee,this say "Ass."

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Angle: You mean nothing to me now. I don't wanna know you, don't wanna see you. Before you go out, I want you to call to let me know the street you walk on so I know not to walk there...(continues to attempt quoting GodFather..)

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RVD: Whoooa.. A skunk caught a bumblebee... Taker's sh#t is awwesome...

[Gone Mad]

Here's the last one again:

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RVD: Whoooa.. A skunk caught a bumblebee... Taker's sh#t is awwesome...

[Corkscrewed]

You could have just used the edit button ya know. :roll:

[Rock Bottom]

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Not satisfied with just regular Olympic Gold, Kurt Angle goes for the Special Olympic Gold Medals!

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Kurt: (8)And I've leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeearned...(8) (Begins sobbing) Tito... Get me a tissue...

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Torrie never knew such an innocent little fart would turn into such a noxious cloud. This is why girls don't fart.

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Cena: You smell like ciga-rettes.
Torrie: What are you stupid or somethin'?
Kurt: HEY. DON'T YOU CALL HIM STUPID.

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Rene: BITCHES COME!

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Suddenly, Rene began fingering Torrie while she gave Rene a handjob... Good thing the good ol' ref always carries an invisible camcorder.

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Torrie: EEEEEEK!
Cena: What? What are you screaming at?
Torrie: Oh, whew... For a moment I thought you were Frankenstein...
Cena: You saying I look like Frankenstein?

*Undertaker gong*

Cena: ...Oh shit.

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Rene was enthusiastic about his debut on MTV's new hit series, "MackDown." Especially after all those pointers from Austin. Game face Rene.

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Rene was dead set on making Kurt a proud man by going out there and winning the Naked Olympics.

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When Nunzio was announced as part of the "FBI," Chavo met him with extreme prejudice.

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Chavo called off his open challenge when he was defeated in his first bout against "The World." Apparently, Cheech Marin had a nack for Ladder Matches.

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D'Von: Alright, say your prayers...
(RVD blends in with his surroundings)
D'Von: What the fuc</>k!
Bubba: WHOA! How'd you do that!?
RVD: It's this weed I smoked man, it's called "Chameleon..."

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Eddie Guerrero had to restrain a homophobic RVD.

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The WWE "Simon Says" tournament came to an end, with Billy the victor.
Billy: Ha-ha! The sign didn't say, "Simon Says!"

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The crowd marked out when The Undertaker came out to the Castlevania theme, and began whipping torches and zombies.

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Unfortunately, The Undertaker broke up with his long time woman, Sara. It was especially devastating, because he told her he never wanted to think of her again. That would put a strain on his eyeballs to avoid looking at his neck.

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Booker T wasn't at all frightened by the prank Scare Tactics played on him. When they warned him that there was a huge spider on his head, he replied, "Yeah, yeah, heard that one before."

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Not satisfied, they give it another go on Booker T. They told him that they slipped some vampiric blood in his drunk, and that Van Helsing was coming to get him.

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But that didn't scare him either. What scared him is that Rob Van Dam could give him a bong hit that big, and that he could just sit right back up.

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Jackie was the first person eliminated in the Spelling Bee, when Rico asked her to spell the word "has."

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In order to counter The Bashams' ability to switch, Rico hired himself a new Tag Team partner - Mystique!

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Rico: Okay, now I wanna play a little prank on Batista, but you're gonna have to trust me.
Basham: Alright, I trust ya.
Rico: *Thrust*
Basham: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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Haas: Check out this shadow puppet! My hand does a great job.
Rico: (Whispering) Oh I'd like to give you a hand job...
Haas: WHAT!?
Rico: Er, I'd like to give you a hand, job well done!

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(Basham and Rico kissing)
Basham: Mm, oh yes baby... Hey, what's that!?
Rico: !
Basham: You've been going down on A-Train, haven't you!
Rico: Well I-
Basham: HAVEN'T YOU!

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Not being able to wait until they got back to the locker room to feel each other up, Haas and Rico tried in vain to block all the crowd's view with the Tag Team Belts.

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Even though it was unwise, Eddie just had to check Bubba's butt for a stinger.

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In a valiant effort, D'Von tried to save his brother and Eddie from being made part of the collective of the new "Hoss Borg."

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Bubba: Ahhh! I've got a stinger!
RVD: Hah, I'm not falling for that one!
Bubba: No, no, I have a STINGER!
RVD: Do you think I'm stupid..?
Bubba: NOT A BEE-STINGER - NERVES! STINGER!
RVD: Shit! Are you okay!? (Kneels down to help him)
Bubba: *STINGS* Haha, sucker.
RVD: Fuc</>k you.

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Kurt Angle wasn't really too anxious about taking his turn sniffing Stephanie's dildo.

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Eddie: Wow man... That was some good shit... How'd you make that giant supergalactic bong in your left hand?
RVD: Oh you mean this thing? That's nothing... Hoover engine and some PVC piping, spraypaint, christmas lights, and you've got a gem...piping, spraypaint, christmas lights, and you've got a gem...
Eddie: Niiiice.

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RVD: EDDIE! Wait! Do not have anal sex with that man! It's a tr-
D'Von: *STING*
Eddie: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

[Nowhere Man]

Didn't see anyone else's before this, so excuse me if the jokes have already been done.

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Kurt entertains the crowd with his famous Kevin Nash impression.

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Angle succumbs to Heyman's nefarious psychological warfare when Paul E. plays the ending of Old Yeller on the Titantron.

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Shannon Moore's new costume was a smash hit.

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Kurt was saddened when no one else would join in on his raunchy Irish drinking song.

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Torrie was rendered completely helpless in his presence. The sheer aura of Doomed Gimmick that radiated from Dupree was enough to overwhelm anyone.

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Charles Robinson should have stepped in to put a stop to the brutality, but someone in the crowd brought in a boom-box with the Macarena song and, dammit, he just had to dance!

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John Cena saves the day, coming to the aid of the long-lost thrid Olsen Twin.

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Dupree was never really comfortable with the company's policy of broadcasting annual physicals on live TV, especially when it was his turn to cough.

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Renee further solidifies his heel status by joining up with the Legion of Doom. (not the Road Warriors, the other Legion of Doom)

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There was no doubt that Chavo was one of the toughest bastards in the WWE. No one, and I mean NO ONE, has ever withstood the Sicilian Crotch Chomp, but Chavo barely even flinches.

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Chavo: "....so that's 45 dollars for the WWE Cruiserweight Title, do I hear fifty? Fifty? Fifty dollars! Going once....going twice.....Sixty! Sixty dollars! Do I hear sixty five...?"

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WWE Group Therapists always say it's good to work out problems with some role-reversal exercises.

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Remember kids, the top two faces on Smackdown may not always get along, but they both agree on one thing: you're a homo.

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The match hadn't even begun, and Booker had already broken down into a sobbing heap. He was taken backstage by security, who had tapes of his Chris Benoit Best-of-Seven feud waiting nearby. Billy Gunn wasn't too surprised by this, since just about everyone reacts that way once they realize they have to feud with him.

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Paul Bearer was back in full force, and no one would dare stop him, not with the Ghost of Doc Holliday on his side.

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Even Taker himself is :roll: towards his new costume.

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Booker tried his hardest to finish his promo and not pay attention to the fact that he'd been set on fire.

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Booker just didn't get it. The whole point of those ninja smoke bombs is that you run away after throwing them.

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On the other hand, the smoke did allow Booker to yank Taker's chair away before he sat back down.

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Rico was disgusted not only by the fact that Jackie had raided A-Train's locker room, but also that he had such atrocious spelling.

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Just to let you guys know, Haas' pants are best viewed after 5 hits of LSD. They'll blow your freaking mind.

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Y'know, I honestly think a caption would make this picture actually less funny.

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If only Haas had been paying attention to the match instead of calling for the hot dog guy, he could've seen the gigantic metallic Super-Robo-Bee flying down from the skies in time to save his partner from getting stung.

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Rico unleashes his darker side when he suddenly starts eating Basham's face.

On a side note, a psychologist tried to type him once. He ate his liver with some favva beans and a nice chianti.

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The whole Rico "gay" gimmick doesn't bother me, nor does the Head Cheese-esque quality of his team with Haas. But where the hell are those extra arms coming from?!

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Eddie tried to tell him that a flying headscissors was a bad idea, but Bubba just wouldn't listen.

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Eddie wasn't entirely sure why Heyman volunteered to be his tag team partner, but at least he was enthusiastic about it.

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RVD: Dude, wake up! The match has started!
Bubba: Ughhh.....five more minutes...
RVD: Come one, man! We're gonna get in trouble!
Bubba:....I don't wanna go to school today....

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Kurt was caught completely off-guard when Thing attacked him during his promo.

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Eddie knew all those years of pointing at his knees would eventually come back to haunt him, as his legs buckled underneath him right in the middle of the Village People routine.

[PorkSoda]

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Kurt: Daddy! I wanna go over there! Swing me to there! I wanna see the flowers! The flowers! Ooooh a snake! I wanna pet the snake. Daddy let me see the snake! I hafta go pee-pee! Daddy, where is the toilet! Daddy I wanna ride the Ferris Wheel! Let's go on the swingsets, daddy!

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Even Kurt gets emotional when he watches the last 2 episodes of Friends.

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Kurt: TORRIE! Look what I did! I accidently ripped my cast, and now I can't wrestle again! I'm blaming this on YOU!
Torrie: You know...you could have just hit the Edit Button ya know.
Kurt.....

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Referee: Look! I'm a sailor! Kick-Stroke Kick-Stroke Kick-Stroke Kick-Stroke...uh oh...SHARK! *Dives outta the ring*

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Kurt: The doctor says it will takes two days for this cacoon around my leg to wrap around my whole body, and two more days till I can become a butterfly!

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The Undertaker decided he could not be angry anymore, and decided to burst out with Rene Dupree's French dance, and Paul Beerer joined along...but fell on his ass.

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D-Von: RVD...I am your father *Damn that didnt work!*
RVD: Really?
D-Von: Yeah.
RVD: Cool.

[big_bluto]

Missed out on the RAW captions on Monday, so here goes......


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Kurt's latest gimmick - Larry ' Hustler' Flynt - arrived in the ring amd immediately started his appeal for some ho's.
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And sure enough, the first lady of smackdown eye-candy appeared.
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Kurt: Hey, babe! You wanna do me?
Torrie: Emmm....no thankyou.
Kurt: I'm a love machine! Come on, ride my plaster to the top, baby!
Torrie: Emmm....no thankyou.
Kurt: Hey - I've seen you naked! In fact I'm picturing it now! Want me to tell you what I'm thinking?
Torrie: Emmm....no thankyou.
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Torrie's refusal to 'get dirty' for Kurt caused him to give in to despair and weep like a snotty schoolchild.

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Torrie's evening got worse when Renee Dupree arrived and continued to convince her she actually was a poodle.
Renee: Sit! That's a good Fifi! Stay!
Torrie: I'm not a poodle!
Renee: Fifi! No Barking!.....now then, it's about time we found out if you can lick your own ass.......
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Renee insisted on punishing Torrie for her refusal to play dead, by trying to get her to lie down like a good doggy.
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Thankfully Cena arrived to stop Renee's grand plan to teach Torrie the poodle to sniff his crotch on command.
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So Renee, in a fit of pique, showed that it can be done while standing...

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The Dudley Chiropractors were back in business after Rob got stuck again, however D'von's chicken hearted accountancy was a cause of some concern.
Bubba: Right D'von, give him the bill.
D'von: Yes! I can do it!
RVD: Lost my 'herbs' again. Anybody seen them?
Bubba: Come on, D'von, we talked about this!
D'von: I'm gonna give him his bill!
RVD: 'Herbs'? Anyone seen them?
Bubba: Go D'von!
D'von: ...i...can't....
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Eddie: They didn't bill me either!
RVD: I want to pay!
Eddie:...yeah.......Rob! Quick! That's the guy that's got your herbs!
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/15.jpg
Pall Bearer returns with Rob's 'Herb Casket', and 'The Stoned Ranger'
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/16.jpg
The Stoned Ranger: That RVD has got some good Sh</>it!
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/17.jpg
Quick Pall, Ranger, RVD's lit the mother of all bongs!
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/18.jpg
The Stoned Ranger: Where is the dude with the bong?
Booker T: Don't know, man. Can't find him for the fumes!
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/19.jpg
The Stoned Ranger: He's not down here!
Booker-T: No man, he'll be high by now!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/20.jpg
Backstage, Rico looks on while Jackie gets into Charlie Haas' pants.
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/21.jpg
Meanwhile, Charlie is apparently in Rico's.
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/22.jpg
Rico *singing*: saddle up and ride your pony, saddle up and ride your pony....
Basham: Ref, help! Vince put me in this match for the WWE Singing Homo Title. I didn't even want it!
Ref: Quickly! Sing YMCA!
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/23.jpg
Rico and Charlie can't stop themselves.
While Random Basham belted out YMCA, Rico and Charlie just let rip with the actions.
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/24.jpg
Rhyno's crazy glue struck again, as Rico and a Basham got stuck together, however the crowd agreed unanimously that this was the worst dressed bunch of wrestlers since Doink v The Honky Tonk Man.
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/25.jpg
A quick intervention from Christian and his near miraculous hairdressing skills freed Rico, allowing him to go for the grope on Charlie Haas.
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/26.jpg
Back to the ring with Dudley Chiropracty.
Bubba: We did bill you last week!
Eddie: Finish my neck treatment and I'll pay. I promise!
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/27.jpg
While D'von got ready to finish Eddie's neck and spine massage, Paul Heyman insisted on waiting no longer!
Paul: Fix my hand again! Vince loved it, and now it's sore again!
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/28.jpg
RVD: Where's my bill!
Bubba: Not now......knackered.....Eddie's neck.....Paul's hand.......minor push.....brand switch....very tired.....
RVD: Bill!
Bubba: See....D'von...
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/postsd.jpg
RVD: Give me my bill!
D'von: Can't.....*sob*......hurt's...to.....charge....a...fellow.....ECW.....veteran...
Eddie: Bill the man!
D'von: Aaaaahhhhh...........$25! *sob*....*sob*....*sniff*
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/30.jpg
RVD and Eddie celebrate a result from their 'new and improved' aggressive payment method.

Meanwhile....
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/29.jpg
Kurt: I am Larry Flynt and I will nail that bitch!

[CBright7831]

This is all?

[Lamuella]

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/01.jpg

Having played a villain on Smallville, Christopher Reeve is cast as Lex Luthor in the upcoming movie.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/02.jpg

Mrs Angle had to stop halfway through the story to reassure Kurt that eventually the little boy would find The Puppy Who Lost His Way

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/03.jpg

Kelly Ripa's run as a WWE diva did not go well.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/04.jpg

"See this, baby? It's not the only thing I've got that's 3 foot long and stiff!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/06.jpg

Rene Dupree prepared himself for the Torrie Wilson Sock-puppet Show

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/07.jpg

Reactions when Renee had a "wardrobe malfunction" in the centre of the ring varied from person to person.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/08.jpg

Diagnosed with an eating disorder several weeks earlier, Rene now had to wrestle with his jaw wired shut

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/10.jpg

The cover art for Men Alone 4: Standing Room Only was finally ready.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/11.jpg

Chavo Sr cruelly held the belt just out of his son's reach

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/12.jpg

According to the "sniff test", RVD was just fine!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/13.jpg

"By god, you're right! It IS Billy Ray Cyrus!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/14.jpg

Booker wished he had never agreed to judge the farting contest held by Billy and the ref.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/15.jpg

The smell from the ring was so bad it woke the dead.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/16.jpg

"Man alive! How did you turn Baby Back Ribs into THIS?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/17.jpg

"It's been a long contest, but that last effort from Billy takes the win. It's not so much the smell as the fact that it set fire to the arena."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/18.jpg

As the building burned, Booker confessed to the Undertaker that he had no idea where the fire exit was.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/19.jpg

Not willing to follow Booker out of the building, Undertaker sat down and threw a tantrum.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/20.jpg

on the other side of the pants, to avoid any confusion, was the word 'hdiick'

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/21.jpg

Seconds later, PETA beat down Charlie for causing the death of an untold number of peacocks.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/22.jpg

Having been part of the WWE's first gay wedding, Rico was proud to be the first man to give birth on WWE TV. His child's name was, it later turned out, Ted Brogan. (10 points for the reference)

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/23.jpg

Charlie, on the other hand, failed the Sniff Test badly.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/24.jpg

"It's time again."
"For another Rhyno joke?"
"Yup."
"Do we have to?"
"Afraid so."
"Couldn't we just put in this conversation instead?"
"OK."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/25.jpg

The joy of the moment was spoiled when the elastic in Charlie's pants snapped.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/26.jpg

Bubba Ray DEFINITELY failed the Sniff Test.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/27.jpg

Even the combined strength of heyman, Eddy, Bubba and D-Von couldn't hold the Glass Ceiling up for long.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/28.jpg

"Bitch! I told you I wanted 2 sugars in my coffee! Now get in that kitchen and fix me a pot pie!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/29.jpg

"I consider myself very devoted to this company. Why else would I have had a WWE tattoo on my hand?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/30.jpg

After winning the match, Eddy and RVD led the crowd in a rousing chorus of Village People favourites.

"It's fun to stay at the Y...MCA"

[El Santo]

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/01.jpg

After his unfortunate amputation, Kurt made a mental note not to trust Dr. Jho with prosthetic legs.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/02.jpg

Kurt: "Don't... don't get me started on 'Mask'. Cher loved that little boy soooooooo much!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/03.jpg

Torrie thought it was grotesquely unfair for Kurt to challenge her to a hair vs. hair match.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/04.jpg

Kurt: "Eliza, where ARE my slippers?"
Luther: "Guh huh huh... that's my favorite movie, boss."
Kurt: "Shut up, you."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/05.jpg

Torrie was a little worried when Renee was temporarily possessed by the disembodied spirit of Ric Flair.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/06.jpg

Renee: "Mon Dieu, Monsieur Robinson, Playboy centerfolds don't just fall out of the sky! ... Ha ha ha... It worked!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/07.jpg

"But... I don't get it, John. Is it chicken or fish? I know it's tuna. But it says chicken. By the sea. I'm so confused!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/08.jpg

"Sacre bleu! I must now be known as the 'Liberty Phenom' now? Merde!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/09.jpg

Kurt: "Now, Renee, attach me the fusion cannon! That's a good lad."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/11.jpg

Fans were shocked when, in the middle of a promo, Chavo Sr. turned on his own son by clobbering him with his own belt!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/13.jpg

Eddie: "I want you ... to say no to drugs."
RVD: "What the --- Eddie, you sold me out!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/14.jpg

At first, Billy had laughed his ass off when he tied Booker's kneepad string together. But now, the joke had gone TOO FAR.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/15.jpg

Taker and Paul Bearer felt pretty silly when they took a wrong turn at the exit and ended up at the Metallica concert.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/16.jpg

Taker's reaction to announcement that next week, he'd be wrestling Hardcore Holly.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/17.jpg

*sniff* "Aw, geez, that'd better not be my pants."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/18.jpg

Despite initial hesitation from internet smarks, the WWE's first "Steaming Bowl of Milk" Match was a surprising success.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/19.jpg

Taker: *getting up* "Hold on a second... BRADSHAW's getting the main event a Judgment Day?"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/20.jpg

Rico and Miss Jackie share a good laugh when they discover that Charlie's mom writes his name on his undies.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/21.jpg

Oddly, this outfit is less gay then what Charlie usually wears.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/22.jpg

Vince: "What's that? The Bashams are being grossly underused? And Rico wants a ride to the ring like Eddie and Bradshaw? ... Wait a minute, I've just had a BRAINSTORM!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/24.jpg

Rico: "I know it was you, Danny. You broke my heart. You broke my heart."
Doug: "Ummm... It's Doug."
Rico: "Whatever."

[JT]

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/13.jpg

It obvious but...

RVD (as Eddie points): YOU'RE A HOMO!!!

or

RVD: Those mother fu</>ckers stole our week and tequila! Homos!!!

[Champion of Europa]

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/02.jpg

You mean to tell me the X-Men fad ended last year? Shit.

[Savio]

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/09.jpg
Dr. X: Recruits 'The Flesh' from "Action leage now!".
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/13.jpg
RVD: Geezus I can't beleive that goo-back
Eddie: He took yer JOB!

[Wondermouse]

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/22.jpg

Even though it was weak, Basham sold Rico's camel clutch well.

[Corkscrewed]

LOL at El Santo's Undertaker Reaction to Bradshaw's Push

[BigDaddyCool]

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/02.jpg
The look on Kurt Angle's face after finally putting together that him losing his wallet and the life sized Eddie action figure were indeed connect, but only if he could figure out how.


http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/22.jpg
Rico (singing in an over-done Disney musical style): By the way, did I say?
did I ever get to say that I was gay?

Back up singers: That you're gay?

Rico: That I'm gay!

Back up singers: That you're gay?

Rico: Yes, that I'm very, very gay.
Infact I would say,
I would my a cock out of clay
and then ram it up my ass all the day.
Yes, I would ram is right up my butt,
You can call me a slut,
but never forget that I'm gay.

Back up singers: That he's gay.

Rico: That I'm gay

Back up singers: That he is gay.

Rico: Yes, very, very, very, very, gay.
I would take a dick
Lick it till it's slick
Suck it till it cums
Then stick it up my bum
Just so you remeber that I'm gay

Back up singers: That he's gay

Rico: That I'm gay!

Back up singers: Tha't he's gay.

Rico: Yes very, very, very, very gay.
That I'm gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

[Vastardikai]

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/01.jpg

Professor Xavier is led to the ring by an unshaven Collossus, who's in a BAD MOOD!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/02.jpg

Not even Kurt can handle the thought of a Bradshaw World Title Push.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/03.jpg

As Torrie walks down the aisle, she thinks of how she acts everytime Smackdown comes to Stepford...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/04.jpg

Kurt: And I'll frog you AGAIN if you give me any lip!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/05.jpg

Rene's fear subsides when Torrie's Bulemia acted up.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/06.jpg

(before the pic was taken) Rene: Hot chicks with big tits don't just fall out the sky, you know...

now

Rene: Buckets of snails just don't fall out of the sky, you know!

(Yes, it's based on BOTH El Santo and Dogma, sue me)

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/07.jpg

Nothing cant top Lamuella, here.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/08.jpg

Rene: Feel...too...small. Need...Roids...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/09.jpg

Kurt: So, you took Vince's advice, good for you!

Rene: Thanks, Kurt! I feel much larger, now...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/10.jpg

Chavo's new Nunzio 3000 Semi Automatic Blast Cannon had devastating effects

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/11.jpg

Chavo tries to outdo his father in an attempt to win the WWE Crooning Title.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/12.jpg

One of these days, Vince will learn to listen to Bubba when he says that putting people in the Full Nelson makes him want to take a shit.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/13.jpg

Eddie points to the next person that RVD, the new Net Assassin, is going to take out.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/14.jpg

Seconds later, Stevie springboards off of Booker T's back to take down Billy wih a Crossbody block.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/15.jpg

Bad things happen when you invite Van Helsing and Rush Limbaugh to your party...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/16.jpg

Taker: God, this hat really does look silly!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/17.jpg

Booker: She's a Superfreak, Superfreak, she Super Freaky, ow!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/18.jpg

Booker T fights his way out of the Invisible Crucifix.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/19.jpg

Undertaker looks at Booker T: Down songs don't need literal interpretation (rep for he/she/it who guesses the song I'm referring to...)

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/20.jpg

Rico: How did you get a WWE.com article when you can't even spell Has? (ripped, I know...)

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/21.jpg

The Macho Man's new look wasn't quite over with the crowd...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/22.jpg

Maynard James Keenan: (off screen) I need, you, to feel this! I can't stand to burn too long! Release in Sodomy. But for one, sweet, moment I am whooooooooooooole!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/23.jpg

Macho Man: OOOOOOOH Yeah!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/24.jpg

Um, WHERE are the ref's HANDS?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/25.jpg

With his look change, Macho decided that the valet should carry him on his shoulder, not the other way around!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/26.jpg

Eddie: SAVE ME FROM THE CHICKEN LEGS!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/27.jpg

Eddie was about to fall to the DOUBLE DOOMSDAY DEVICE!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/28.jpg

RVD used his educated feet to brutally impale Bubba.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/29.jpg

Kurt: mmmm... bacon!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/30.jpg

Eddie and Rob recreate the WWE Logo in celebration.

BONUS PIC:
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/postsd.jpg

Strange: putting people in the full nelson makes Bubba shit, but being put into the full nelson makes D-Von puke...

[Wondermouse]

Lammy,

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Phillips, you're the proud parents of a brand new healthy 37-year-old man."

[loopydate]

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/01.jpg

KURT: That's right. With the new "Hoss Soss," you too can grow to an acceptable size for WWE competition. Tell 'em about it, Peter Dinklage!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/02.jpg

Kurt always had the same reaction to the Beatles' "She's Leaving Home."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/03.jpg

Torrie Wilson - Queen of the Subtle Cleavage Shot

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/04.jpg

Torrie was as shocked as the rest of us. Steve Austin had become the new Master of Disguise!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/05.jpg

RENE: 'Ave you ever ridden Space Mountain?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/06.jpg

Charles Robinson was terrified. Torrie was in trouble, and here he was, trapped in this damned invisible box!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/07.jpg

TORRIE: OMG, it's loopydate! *Swoon*
JOHN: Dayumn, that dude's fly.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/08.jpg

RENE: My name! Is...FRANKENSTEIN!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/09.jpg

RENE: I cannot sank you enough, Mssr Angle. Wiss you sitting down and me towering over you, Mssr McMahon is sure to sink I am an 'oss!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/10.jpg

Chavo needed to be careful. The match had been going on longer than its alloted time, and Vince had already fired the rockets from the nosebleed seats.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/11.jpg

CHAVO: That's right! I can beat Stevie in a test of strength ONE-HANDED!
SENIOR: You da champ!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/12.jpg

D-Von knew he should have finished off RVD, but damned if he didn't feel like Chicken Tonight.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/13.jpg

RVD: No, YOU're Perry Como!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/14.jpg

BOOKER (to self): Wiggle your big toe. Wiggle your big toe.
BILLY: Ah'm Billy, and I'm here to fu--wait. That don't rhyme.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/15.jpg

The Undertaker was tough before, but now that he had his own pet Oompa Loompa...

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/16.jpg

Undertaker, upon finding that rumors were going around about Lex Luger returning to WWE.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/17.jpg

Black man, white glove, microphone...oh, no...

BOOKER: Shamon!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/18.jpg

PAUL: Oh, noooooooo.
BOOKER: Yo, dawg, keep the lid on that damned thing.
TAKER: Hehe. This is like that scene in "The Big Lebowski."
BOOKER: Aren't you supposed to be dead?
TAKER: Oh, right. Uh...rest...in...peace.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/19.jpg

The Undertaker gives new meaning to "Smokin' in the boys room."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/20.jpg

And this is why Charle Haas shouldn't have taken Charlie Brown up on his offer to pitch for his team.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/21.jpg

On the bright side, this was the first time RVD sat transfixed through an entire Charlie Haas match.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/22.jpg

Rico's new Torso Rip finisher was incredibly devastating.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/23.jpg

Charlie, in a shocking swerve, turns on Rico and forms the Nation of Anal Penetration.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/24.jpg

The Ultimate Warrior has no time for subtlety!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/25.jpg

RICO: Wow! You're excitable, aren't you?
CHARLIE: That's my femur.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/26.jpg

HEBNER: My! You need a manicure!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/27.jpg

WWE's first ever Totem Pole Match wasn't as successful as it should have been, since the participants got confused as to who was partners with whom.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/28.jpg

RVD: ...and then it's rolled into what's called a "joint," and...Bubba? Dammit, I've done it again!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/29.jpg

Thing = WWE For Life!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/30.jpg

Sure, Eddie and RVD had won the match, but next time, would RVD be able to count on the powers he'd stolen from Cut Man?

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/postsd.jpg

RVD: Hey, look! I'm Ultimo Dragon! Whoops!
EDDIE: Hey, ese, Funky Fly's gonna kill you!

[Corkscrewed]

LMAO at the Taker's pet Oompa Loompa! :rofl:

[Azriel]

Savior, shouldn't it be more like "They took your JERB!" :lol:

[Lamuella]

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/042904/images/22.jpg
Rico (singing in an over-done Disney musical style): By the way, did I say?
did I ever get to say that I was gay?

Back up singers: That you're gay?

Rico: That I'm gay!

Back up singers: That you're gay?

Rico: Yes, that I'm very, very gay.
Infact I would say,
I would my a cock out of clay
and then ram it up my ass all the day.
Yes, I would ram is right up my butt,
You can call me a slut,
but never forget that I'm gay.

Back up singers: That he's gay.

Rico: That I'm gay

Back up singers: That he is gay.

Rico: Yes, very, very, very, very, gay.
I would take a dick
Lick it till it's slick
Suck it till it cums
Then stick it up my bum
Just so you remeber that I'm gay

Back up singers: That he's gay

Rico: That I'm gay!

Back up singers: Tha't he's gay.

Rico: Yes very, very, very, very gay.
That I'm gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

props for the Brain Candy ref

[Lamuella]

Lammy,

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Phillips, you're the proud parents of a brand new healthy 37-year-old man."

you get the points.

"we were going to call you Michael."
"Yeah, well it's Ted. Brogan."

[Corkscrewed]

Hehe. That was from SNL right? With Will Ferrel?

Or maybe I'm just totally off.

[Azriel]

No, you're right Cork. By the way, where's the poll voting for the Caption of the Month.