Teddy Long: Uncut [Archive]

NoJabbaNoBogRoll

11-23-2011, 08:48 AM

Smackdown is a taped show, so is there any particular reason they don't edit out the painfully long pauses in Teddy Long's speech pattern?

This becomes especially annoying when he's making incredibly predictable and cliched announcements (which make up 98% of his mic time).

If a six person brawl breaks out, with sides made up of Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show against Christian/Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry, they really do not need to waste ten minutes announcing tonight's six-man main event tag match.

EXAMPLE:

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"Hold on just a minute, playas."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"You guys wanna fight, well tonight..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"It's gonna be..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"The World's Strongest Man..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"Mark Henry!"

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"Teaming with..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"Christian!"

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"And..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"The Intercontinental Champion..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"Cody Rhodes!"

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"And their opponents..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"Will be..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"The world's largest athlete..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"The Big Show!"

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"And his partners..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"The Celtic Warrior...."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"Sheamus!"

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"And..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"The Viper..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"Randy Orton!"

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"And that match..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"Is gonna be..."

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"Tonight!"

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/153/z154840525displayimage.jpg

"Holla holla!"

whiteyford

11-23-2011, 09:17 AM

I just read that entire post in Teddys voice,you might be onto something here.

Aguakate

11-23-2011, 11:03 AM

This thread is good for LULZ.

Lock Jaw

11-23-2011, 12:39 PM

Don't forget that he looks down at his shoes for advice between every thought.

Anybody Thrilla

11-23-2011, 01:16 PM

They're usually some pretty nice shoes though, if you notice.

Spaff

11-23-2011, 01:18 PM

Anybody Thrilla

11-23-2011, 01:19 PM

Is there any particular reason they let THIS air?

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ztv4IaOaicI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Lock Jaw

11-23-2011, 01:36 PM

Because it was gold.

Anybody Thrilla

11-23-2011, 01:38 PM

Oh yeah, I forgot.

Lock Jaw

11-23-2011, 01:42 PM

Anybody Thrilla

11-23-2011, 01:45 PM

:lol:

I know Teddy's been in the business for a long time, but is there no other job they could give him? Possibly not on television?

Lock Jaw

11-23-2011, 01:46 PM

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p218/Dark_Overlord_Of_The_Universe/ohnoezteddy.gif

Lock Jaw

11-23-2011, 01:46 PM

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r269/nottombosley/PhotoShops/teddyhasnitskybabypunt.gif

Anybody Thrilla

11-23-2011, 01:49 PM

Oh wow

Lock Jaw

11-23-2011, 01:57 PM

http://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/305446_542193071706_312500728_1344913_1437976451_n.jpg

Poit

11-23-2011, 02:36 PM

Jabba, you forgot to include "tag team match!"

Emperor Smeat

11-23-2011, 02:45 PM

With the time savings edits, another quick or squash match could be added to the show every week.

Aguakate

11-23-2011, 02:47 PM

I just noticed Teddy Long looks somewhat like Herman Cain.

11-23-2011, 02:57 PM

And this match will take place...

RIGHT NOW!

JimmyMess

11-23-2011, 03:10 PM

I definitely read that whole thing as Teddy.

How right you are, sir.

Anybody Thrilla

11-23-2011, 03:26 PM

That joke has already been done in this thread, Guru Dave. More effectively, mind you.

Juan

11-23-2011, 03:39 PM

I've never noticed tbh

SlickyTrickyDamon

11-23-2011, 03:53 PM

MoFo

11-23-2011, 04:05 PM

h8 him in general...

Worst authority figure of all times...

Rammsteinmad

11-23-2011, 04:32 PM

I admire Jabba's dedication to his post with the effort he made.

11-23-2011, 04:45 PM

That joke has already been done in this thread, Guru Dave. More effectively, mind you.

I can't resist.

11-23-2011, 04:48 PM

Still waiting for this exchange...

Teddy: "Now hold on a minute, Kristin!"

Christian: "Who the hell is Kristin!?"

BollywoodSingh

11-23-2011, 05:21 PM

Haha, I have always felt this way about Teddy Long. It's unbelievable that he has been the Smackdown GM/authority figure (on-and-off) for more than 7 years. The pauses are so annoying. I use to feel the same way about Randy Orton promos.

tjmidnight420

11-23-2011, 11:16 PM

They should make his ass officiate again. Put somebody new in charge of the blue show.

Theo Dious

11-23-2011, 11:19 PM

Teddy Long is fucking awesome.

Also, I read the title "Teddy Long Un-cut" and thought this had something to do with him not being circumsized.

Theo Dious

11-23-2011, 11:20 PM

<img style="-webkit-user-select: none; ████████ -webkit-zoom-in; " src="http://www.obsessedwithwrestling.com/pictures/s/skyscrapers/07.jpg" width="372" height="289">

I can think of three people who probably wish this photo did not exist.

Theo Dious

11-23-2011, 11:22 PM

Smackdown is a taped show, so is there any particular reason they don't edit out the painfully long pauses in Teddy Long's speech pattern?

And the answer is that it would look completely retarded if they kept clipping to crowd or in-ring shots every 1.7 seconds during his announcements.

NoJabbaNoBogRoll

11-24-2011, 08:38 AM

They pretty much do this anyway.

starfox8500

11-24-2011, 11:59 AM

I can think of three people who probably wish this photo did not exist.

None of who are reading this thread right now, playa' ;)

Theo Dious

11-24-2011, 12:04 PM

None of who are reading this thread right now, playa' ;)

Holla!

Theo Dious

11-24-2011, 12:11 PM

Seriously, Teddy looks like the bastard child of MLK and Arsenio Hall in that shot, Mr. Calaway looks like a muppet, and Spivey looks like the poor man's Stunning Steve Austin.

Anybody Thrilla

11-24-2011, 01:18 PM

Seriously, Teddy looks like the bastard child of MLK and Arsenio Hall in that shot, Mr. Calaway looks like a muppet, and Spivey looks like the poor man's Stunning Steve Austin.

I'd watch your mouth, Tedious. Lives are gonna be in Dan Spivey's hands...know what I mean?