Marvel/DC: Which Superhero/Supervillain Would You Be A Sidekick To?

[Kalyx triaD]

Even if we're thrown into a comic book universe, and given superpowers, we'd all still be fairly weak sauce against the heavy hitters. So the obvious conclusion is to work for them.

Which hero or villain would you like to work for/with?

[Schlomey]

I'd work for Galactus but wouldn't puss out like Silver Surfer.

[Nowhere Man]

Assuming the endgame for sidekicking is to get good enough to go out on your own, then I'd sidekick for Aquaman. I'd get lots of experience since he'd need somebody who can actually do stuff on land. Plus it's been shown that he "gets by" by digging up sunken pirate treasure, so the paydays would be pretty awesome.

[Schlomey]

Assuming the endgame for sidekicking is to get good enough to go out on your own, then I'd sidekick for Aquaman. I'd get lots of experience since he'd need somebody who can actually do stuff on land. Plus it's been shown that he "gets by" by digging up sunken pirate treasure, so the paydays would be pretty awesome.

LOL so you are not an actual SIDE kick. You are the super hero while he tells you where to go from his ocean prison. Nice.

[Kalyx triaD]

Oh boy.

[Krimzon7]

Assuming the endgame for sidekicking is to get good enough to go out on your own, then I'd sidekick for Aquaman. I'd get lots of experience since he'd need somebody who can actually do stuff on land. Plus it's been shown that he "gets by" by digging up sunken pirate treasure, so the paydays would be pretty awesome.

This was pretty creative until Schloomy shat on your theory.

[Schlomey]

Shat on his theory with reality :)

[Lock Jaw]

Trying to think of one where I wouldn't get horribly killed/maimed/develop a drug addiction/get kidnapped on a bi-weekly basis.

[Corporate CockSnogger]

Does Buffy count?

[Kalyx triaD]

No.

[Corporate CockSnogger]

Oh damn didn't even pay attention to the "Marvel/DC" part of the title. I have no idea then. Iron Man maybe cause he's rich and would probably buy me stuff.

[Kalyx triaD]

Do you see how he treats Happy?

[Corporate CockSnogger]

With a killer paycheck?

[Kalyx triaD]

Well there's that.

[Schlomey]

How about Rick from Walking Dead...DOH!

[ClockShot]

Hmmmmm. This I need to put some thought into.

I'll get back to this.

[DaveBrawl]

Definitely not Robin.

[XCaliber]

I'd say either Spider-Man or Green Lantern.

[ClockShot]

After further review, I'd apprentice under Dr. Strange.

I'd learn a shitload of powerful spells and work with most of the superheroes from time to time. Only problem I might have is that I could be learning from him forever, since he's pretty much immortal.

[Reavant]

Venom cuz eventually he would spawn another symbiot and I would snatch it up

[Kane Knight]

Does Archie count?

[Kalyx triaD]

I'm gonna allow this.

[DaveBrawl]

Green Lantern.

If I at least get my own ring like Sinestro gave Jordan when they started the new 52 I'd go with this.

[JimmyMess]

Batman... but I wouldn't be Robin.

I would be able to learn so much from him, it would be insane.

[Lock Jaw]

I think I will go with Oracle. Seems like the safest place for a sidekick. Plus I would learn so many practical computer skills to fall back on.

[Krimzon7]

Originally, I'd say Olliver North, aside from the heroin thing. Bruce Wayne seems such a common and easy choice...I'm torn between Tony Stark, Spiderman, GA, and Bats.

[Kalyx triaD]

Depending on how things turn out, I would totally be Superior Spider-Man's sidekick.

If not that, X23. I'll just wait for that boring, rainy day.

[Scott Roberts]

Definitely Thor. I'd have a sick hammer and get to run train on Natalie Portman ALL FUCKING DAY.

[Ruien]

Being with the Hulk would be interesting.

[Schlomey]

Definitely Thor. I'd have a sick hammer and get to run train on Natalie Portman ALL FUCKING DAY.

He'd have a sick hammer. You wouldn't be able to lift it. You would probably get gifted the Slingshot of the Gods.

[Fignuts]

Squirrel Girl.

Nobody beats Squirrel Girl. Not even Thanos.

[Kane Knight]

Depending on how things turn out, I would totally be Superior Spider-Man's sidekick.

Would you remain Spidey's sidekick in the inevitable return/retcon?

He'd have a sick hammer. You wouldn't be able to lift it. You would probably get gifted the Slingshot of the Gods.

Still, probably pretty badass.

[Emperor Smeat]

Probably Batman (not as Robin) or the Punisher

[Kalyx triaD]

Would you remain Spidey's sidekick in the inevitable return/retcon?

No.

[mitchables]

Booster Gold. Time-travelling, what what

[Asmo]

The Beast. I get free lodging, good meals, people of my age to chill with, and am still in a college / university environment. I picked Beast over the other X-Men because he's generally always in the background.

[Corporate CockSnogger]

You'd probably have to brush his fur or clean up his droppings.

[VSG]

The only answer is Batman.

[Nowhere Man]

Okay, after some thinking, I've come up with a different answer for which superhero I'd want to sidekick for:

Wonder Woman.

Okay, hear me out.

Yeah, Superman's great for being a moral compass and showing you the finer points of being a genuine hero, but he's hardly the most skilled fighter-- he just throws big ugly haymakers and hopes his super-strength is enough to get the job done. Plus, he's not much for strategy, so unless I'm also a Kryptonian or something similar, training with him wouldn't do much good.

And yeah, Batman's the ultimate badass and he's also known for training lots of sidekicks, but he's also known for being a paranoid abusive psychopath who's infamous for treating his apprentices like shit and generally being a genuinely awful human being. Plus, the opening pitch for this thread said I'd have superpowers, and Batman's always come off as irrationally prejudiced against metahumans.

But Wonder Woman? Wondy is hands-down one of the most absolutely badass fighters in the entire DC Universe. She's taken down entire armies by herself, she's picked fistfights with literal gods and won-- and yes, she's even straight-up kicked Batman's ass. And only a portion of that badassery comes from her superpowers; she's got a lifetime of training from the greatest warrior society on the planet. She's steeped not just in mythical martial arts that compliment having superpowers, but also in large-scale tactics and strategy. When Supergirl first came to Earth (pre-reboot) and everyone realized she was going to have to learn how to fight, they didn't let Superman or Batman or anyone else train her; they sent her to Diana, and by the end of her training, she was able to hang in a battle with Darkseid (particularly in the animated movie). If there's anyone who can get the absolute best out of someone's abilities in a short amount of time, it's Wonder Woman.

The fact that I'd probably get a couple of handy magical weapons out of the deal, not to mention the fact that said training would happen on a gorgeous tropical island populated by the hottest women on Earth, certainly doesn't hurt.

[Kalyx triaD]

You realize a) You will not be allowed to live on Paradise Island and b) She may not be allowed to share with you Amazonian secrets because... well... she and her people have their prejudices against males just as Batman looks at metahumans with a stink eye.

I see all your points about her ability, but there may be a 'Girls Only' sign at the start.

However, I think you can get very similar lessons from Ras Al Gul. He's a semi-immortal warrior with centuries of experience on not only intimate fighting and war, but you may even pick up economics and psychology. If I went the villain route I'd go with the Demon's Head for sure.

[Krimzon7]

Okay, after some thinking, I've come up with a different answer for which superhero I'd want to sidekick for:

Wonder Woman.

Okay, hear me out.

Yeah, Superman's great for being a moral compass and showing you the finer points of being a genuine hero, but he's hardly the most skilled fighter-- he just throws big ugly haymakers and hopes his super-strength is enough to get the job done. Plus, he's not much for strategy, so unless I'm also a Kryptonian or something similar, training with him wouldn't do much good.

And yeah, Batman's the ultimate badass and he's also known for training lots of sidekicks, but he's also known for being a paranoid abusive psychopath who's infamous for treating his apprentices like shit and generally being a genuinely awful human being. Plus, the opening pitch for this thread said I'd have superpowers, and Batman's always come off as irrationally prejudiced against metahumans.

But Wonder Woman? Wondy is hands-down one of the most absolutely badass fighters in the entire DC Universe. She's taken down entire armies by herself, she's picked fistfights with literal gods and won-- and yes, she's even straight-up kicked Batman's ass. And only a portion of that badassery comes from her superpowers; she's got a lifetime of training from the greatest warrior society on the planet. She's steeped not just in mythical martial arts that compliment having superpowers, but also in large-scale tactics and strategy. When Supergirl first came to Earth (pre-reboot) and everyone realized she was going to have to learn how to fight, they didn't let Superman or Batman or anyone else train her; they sent her to Diana, and by the end of her training, she was able to hang in a battle with Darkseid (particularly in the animated movie). If there's anyone who can get the absolute best out of someone's abilities in a short amount of time, it's Wonder Woman.

The fact that I'd probably get a couple of handy magical weapons out of the deal, not to mention the fact that said training would happen on a gorgeous tropical island populated by the hottest women on Earth, certainly doesn't hurt.

The one caveat to this whole story: Your training would probably start with your castration.

[VSG]

The last 2 posts pretty much summarized what I was going to say- Wonder Woman is a HORRIBLE choice.

[Nowhere Man]

Well, the "Amazons don't train guys" thing is a rather embarrassing oversight on my part, not to mention a painfully obvious one.

But I'm going to stick with it. Mostly because I feel like being stubborn, but also because the possible shenanigans involved in making that happen are too entertaining to pass up.

I mean, the ridiculous lengths you'd have to go to just to get your foot in the door have the potential to be comedy gold. Sure, there might be some kind of cross-dressing involved, or convincing one of the more magic- or cosmic- based folks to give you a magical disguise, not to mention figure out a way to get around the whole Truth Lasso thing, but at least it would make for a funny story.

And then once you're on the island, there's no shortage of potential for wacky and/or sexy hijinks. And hey, part of being a superhero is concealing a secret identity; how good could you get at that if you're able to spend all that time concealing the fact that you're a dude? You're still learning how to be a kickass warrior and crime-fighter and stuff, but now it's also got kind of a raunchy-1980s-comedy thing going on with it too.

Sure, you'd probably meet a very unpleasant fate if you got caught, but if you pulled it off, maybe you could even impress the Amazons enough to get them to re-think their whole "No Boys Allowed" thing. Like Mulan, only in reverse.

Plus, Wondy herself isn't nearly as anti-male as the rest of her folks, so even if you did get caught, the worst she'd probably do is throw you off the island.

Is it unnecessary and ridiculous and bordering a bit too much on gender-bending? Yeah, probably. But at least it's entertaining.

[Fryza]

Think I'd happily sit out of it and not do a thing. Live a nice average life away from all that shit.

[Kalyx triaD]

Zatanna could help you with the gender swap thing.

[slik]

Nightwing.

[Nowhere Man]

Nightwing.

Sidekick of a former sidekick. Interesting.

[Miotch]

Not really.