Amish Mafia

[Heisenberg]

http://i1085.photobucket.com/albums/j440/Marc_Oxenreider/1-amish-mafia_zps1188ba82.jpg

I stumbled upon this show a week ago and I'm pretty much hooked and ready for season 2 on the Discovery Channel.

Has anyone else ran across this show yet? I turned the channel to view it thinking it was another Amish documentary, and turns out it is a reality show about a group of Amish guys in a "Mafia-type" stable that help the community of Amish people out in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.

I'm amazed in this day in age that people exist like the Amish with all the advances in technology and shit. This show (real or fake) is entertaining to me for some reason I have not gathered yet. I grew up around a lot of Amish people that are Old Amish Order and I'm pretty sure if they saw this show, they would shun the piss out of these guys.

Buggy races, MMA barn fights, prostitution, drug/alcohol mixers, and all other activities are covered on the show. Some of it is reenacted and they even have an episode where they sit the cast down and question them about the authenticity of the show.


Link to their website(Video would not embed): http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/amish-mafia/videos/season-one-highlights.htm

[drave]

watched the debut and setup a series recording on the DVR. It is great entertainment regardless of the reenactments. I have the Reckoning episode that was aired this Wednesday, but have yet to watch it.

Also, Heisenberg is a badass and Breaking Bad needs to hurry on back.

[Heisenberg]

I watched the Reckoning last night. Merlin was toned down quite a bit, which was surprising. The midget Amish is shown again tearing things up, and it kind of told the viewers what was going on before, during, and after the taping of season one and teased some storylines for season two.

[Heisenberg]

Merlin is a fuckin' nutcase. Alvin looks like Amish Jay Cutler.

[DaveBrawl]

Then I hate Alvin.


I watched an episode of it where they were setting up mixers and they had some guy they called black Amish taking bets on softball games. My mind was just blown.

[Heisenberg]

I feel sorry for Alvin, he acts like Jay Cutler...no emotion, then he will just blow up out of the blue.

[drave]

Alvin is the dude that I bet is fucking insane behind the scenes. Like the type to nail your hand to a table and put some bamboo splinters under your fingernails one by damn one.

[Krimzon7]

Watched this show a couple times, it's amusing how they are taking these fucking goofballs and making it seem like they're the amish sopranos

[Heisenberg]

http://i1085.photobucket.com/albums/j440/Marc_Oxenreider/JayAmish_zps17718522.jpg

Amish Cutler

[DaveBrawl]

Definitely hate Alvin now.

[CSL]

surely being in the Amish Mafia is like being the biggest kid in a creche? I mean, how dangerous can other Amish people really be?

[Heisenberg]

Some of them are bat shit crazy and trash vehicles, which is entertaining to watch.

[Heisenberg]

Season 2 tonight, pretty sure I'm one of the few excited or having knowledge of this show's awesomeness

[Heisenberg]

Lineup credited to Julia Hatmaker, with some added insight from myself.

Levi's Stable

LEVI: The ringleader of the Amish mafia, Lebanon Levi means business. He's blackmailed a bishop, gotten another person shunned and ordered the destruction of property countless times. Alvin is his best friend. In the first season he was in love with Esther before realizing she was using him to help her brother, John.
http://images.lancasteronline.com/local_old/829/255/LebanonLevi_640.jpg


Heisenberg's breakdown: Levi is one of the main event characters in Amish Mafia, people want to be him and he is a big tweener of some sorts. His workrate suggests he is mad over with the community, but has started some feuds due to his unclear motives and ways of handling money that he keeps for himself.
















ALVIN: Levi's right-hand man, Alvin is soft spoken and prone to mumbling. He likes to get stuff done and isn't afraid to use violence.
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Heisenberg's breakdown: Alvin looks like Jay Cutler on Beatle's acid. Crazy as shit and is known to trash buggy carts b/c he does w/e Levi says. I guess between Season 1 and 2 he got arrested in Florida and it is not common knowledge as to why he was jailed. He is mad over with me and I mark out pretty hard when he trashes things.




















CALEB: The latest recruit to the mafia, Caleb has an extensive rap sheet. However, he failed his first task of stealing a horse. This former criminal will have to prove himself if he plans to stick around with Levi's gang.
http://images-cdn.lancasteronline.com/687902_180.jpg


Heisenberg's breakdown: Caleb debuts in season 2 and is young and psycho. Wreckless motherfucker right here, wanting to gain the respect he thinks he deserves, making mistakes and people uncomfortable along the way, he also likes to trash things.

[Heisenberg]

Merlin's Stable

MERLIN: Power-hungry Merlin is determined to broaden his influence and take over Levi's operation. He's spent time in prison and it was there that he became the cold, calculated man he is today. In the last season, Levi had Merlin shunned. However, with the help of his sister, Rosa, and favored henchman, Wayne, the shunning verdict was revoked.
http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/amish-mafia-merlin-300x267.jpg


Heisenberg's breakdown: This guy debuted huge towards the end of Season 1 and is feuding with Levi right now for getting him shunned, which is a big no no on the Amish circuit. He wants everything that Levi has, the power, the money, the championship. He doesn't look like he is showing any slack and has a very destructive stable that will heed his call, and not a phone call, because that takes too long at times for the Amish. Huge heel on the show.















WAYNE: Merlin's sidekick, Wayne may be a small guy but he can pack a powerful punch. It was he who smashed in Levi's car's windshield with an ax in the first season.
http://netstorage.discovery.com/feeds/brightcove/asset-stills/dsc/135732618775413914001201197_104TheAmishWay.jpg


Heisenberg's breakdown: Wayne is a crazy dwarf who sworn allegiance to Merlin and smashes vehicles and milk products with his trusty ax. He has a short temper and demands respect from the viewers. He's no Hornswoggle, he's Amish Christian Bale dwarf edition. Relegated to mid-card, but could carry a main eventer in a feud if given the chance.













ROSA: Merlin's sister, Rosa has a way with pies. Her cool-headedness and ability to calm Merlin down played a major factor in getting her brother unshunned.
Heisenberg's breakdown: I don't know much about Rosa at all, she may be in Amish development and has yet to make an appearance on the main show, but is credited with helping her brother get out of being shunned.

[Heisenberg]

The Schmucker Stable

ESTHER: The femme fatale of the show, Esther is always scheming to figure out ways to increase her station in the community. She wants her brother John to take over Levi's position, which used to be her father's. She's not afraid to use her feminine wiles to get what she wants either. In the first season she seduced Levi, had an affair with Jolin and is rumored to have done something with Merlin as well.
http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/amish-mafia-esther-300x267.jpg


Heisenberg's breakdown: The main diva of Amish Mafia, Esther kind of gives you the deceitful and smart side of evil that is needed to keep you glued to her when she is running wild all over people's asses. She seduces Amish men with her workrate and sweet knitting abilities. She forms mini-stables that knit with her and tell her things. Her brothers are fuck ups within the community and she is cutting promos like her career depends on it to prove to everyone that she is the real deal Holyfield of the land.















JOHN: Esther's simple brother, John has a lot of ambition but knows he doesn't have the sharpest wit. He leaves most of the planning to Esther, and with good reason. John is always getting in trouble and even his best laid plans never turn out right. In the first season he managed to anger both Levi and Merlin, meaning he's now a don-wannabe without a mafia.
http://images.bwwstatic.com/columnpic6/1352816534.jpg


Heisenberg's breakdown: John turned heel on Levi last season and joined up with Merlin. He ended up in jail between season 1 and 2 and is totally not ready to manage himself in a feud at all. Mafucka can't even stay in a stable, let alone clean the poop from his poopypants. Unless he starts producing for his sister soon, I can see John's run in anything important coming to a dangerous end.
















FREEMAN: The brother of Esther and John, Freeman doesn't talk much. He is rumored to be possessed by demons and has mastered the "crazy eyes" look.
Heisenberg's breakdown: Man, this guy right here debuting in vignette fashion. Similar to the Wyatt vignettes that ran, minus all the wait. He shot onto the scene straight up in the first season 2 episode and apparently he is unstable and might break a lot of shit in the coming episodes. Potential to be a fan-favorite who is supposed to be vilified.

[Heisenberg]

Free Agents

JOLIN: A Mennonite with ambition, Jolin dreams of rising in the mafia organization. After it becomes clear he won't ever get promoted due to his religious status, Jolin ditches Levi and strikes out on his own. He had a brief affair with Esther and has a penchant for weapons. In the last episode of Season 1 he believed he had found his calling: saving people.
http://glueimg.s3.amazonaws.com/stickers/huge/discovery/amish_mafia_jolin.png


Heisenberg's breakdown: Jolin left Levi's stable to be a better person, and help mafuckas out. He secretly dated Esther for a bit, but I'm not sure what the hayell that was about. He likes to shoot weapons and do MMA stuff. I see some promise in his storyline. A pocket favorite for me when he shows aggression.

















ALAN: Referred to as the "black Amish" on the show, Alan is in-and-out of prison. A former mafia member, he blames Levi for his incarceration and will stop at nothing to make him pay.
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Heisenberg's breakdown: Alan is another danger to Levi and wants to chokeslam him straight to hayell. Alan had a lot of time to think about his revenge. The tension is building going into season 2 with Alan cutting heel ass promos on the cameramen and audience. I don't expect his run as a heel to stop anytime soon, nothing but evil is going to be shown when Alan steps into the mix.