Corkscrewed
05-14-2004, 04:37 AM
I guess it's time for another one of my little articles about SmackDOWN! You may recall that a couple of months ago, I did a little bit of fantasy booking for the show, giving my ideas on how the product could be improved (yes, Bradshaw. I actually give ideas.)
I've decided to write again because looking at WWE programming recently, there's been a huge disparity between RAW and SmackDOWN! Though it might not be intentional, all of the recent shows point to RAW being taken as the number one show, while SmackDOWN! has been the little runt that's been ignored. RAW has thrilled viewers with some fantastic main events, it's tantalized viewers by announcing intriguing matchups in upcoming shows, and it's done a lot with its talent.
SmackDOWN! meanwhile has... languished.
Heading into Wrestlemania, both shows had been very tightly focused, with close-knit storylines and solid evidence of clear longterm booking. That has since evaporated a LOT on SD!
That's not to say that it's all been horrible. Contrary to what JR might have you believe, I am an internet fan who DOES praise in addition to criticize. So lets take a look at what the SD! writers have done right lately:
Eddie Guerrero vs John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Smokes alive! I just praised something involving JBL! But lets take a step back here. Lets forget about Bradshaw's wrestling ability for a moment. This feud has actually evolved into something intriguing. Though Bradshaw still has not been established as a legitimate threat to the title, the writers have done the best thing they could have done with this feud: make it personal.
Eddie Guerrero's number charisma skill is his emotion. By introducing the house show incident and revolving the story around that, they've given Eddie a reason to hate Bradshaw and feud with him. They've made JBL affect Eddie, which was lacking earlier. Plus, they made something interesting happen at a house show, which is always a pleasant surprise.
This feud has gotten really intense, with Bradshaw coming off as a big bully, which is great. It fits his character perfectly. The gimmick has been very successful, and JBL has really impressed me with his charisma and mic skills. It may be a feeder feud, but this is about one hundred times better than Hardcore Holly vs Lesnar, which made an Al Gore speech look rousing. Make no mistake about it: fans really want to see JBL get his, and they want their new people's champion, Eddie Guerrero, to give it. Eddie is gold with his emotions, and even though no one thinks JBL has a chance, people will still want to watch the main event to see Bradshaw get his ass kicked and get what he deserves.
John Cena vs Renee Dupree
In another feud that's been built up very nicely, the writers have also played emotions pretty well. Renee hates Cena. At the same time, he presents himself as a great heel with his charisma and his heinous actions. Nothing more effective than powerbombing arguably the most popular guy on the show through a table to get HUGE heat.
The feud itself is a fresh storyline that could turn out to be a great one, especially if the ringwork matches the mic work. Dupree has been reborn on SmackDOWN!, playing off of his talent instead of simply being an anti-American pig. Tazz and Cole have also done a great job, putting him over as a wrestler instead of constantly spouting off patriotic jargon. Cena has also made a few strides during the course of this feud, no longer speaking only in rhyme. He's been really getting the crowd into his promos with simple cheap (but effective) pop techniques, reminding me of Road Dogg while he was with the New Age Outlaws.
Overall, you have the now-veteran Cena going up against the French Phenom, and the best thing is that there is no clear prediction. Cena has the advantage of being a champ, but Dupree seems like he can match up with him really well and stands a great chance of winning, even if he has to cheat. Lack of predictability always helps an angle.
Undertaker vs Booker T
For a feud that was basically the result of not having anything else to do with the two, this has turned out pretty well. Tonight culmination, with Taker's music hitting, Booker leaving the ring, and then Taker appearing "out of nowhere" in the middle of the ring had me marking out for old times, and Booker came out perfectly, looking nervous but not like a total chicken.
He's stood up to Taker, which makes him look strong. He even clocked Taker in the head with an urn! He's not afraid of challenging the Dead Man, and it really supports his "I'm the best guy here in the minor leagues" personality.
I could definitely do without the voodoo stuff, though. The hand from the grave also doesn't make sense, because the announcers haven't mentioned it again, and unless they're going to really do the Booker Shango thing (please Lord, I hope not), that will turn out to be completely useless. If they do go through, it'll make sense, but I won't like it.
Still, if things go the way I hope they go--namely, Mordecai chooses Taker as his first "sinner" to target and costs him the match against Booker, who goes on to feud with Eddie, this feud could be a great springboard. Call it a set-up feud, if you will.
Mordecai:
He's had some AWESOME promos, and he's been pretty well set up as the heel to uses the name of religion to justify his heinous deeds. Think of it as D-Von's reverend gimmick, but a lot darker. Mordecai has an amazing look to him, and his little cross icon thingy is just killer. A feud with Taker really wouldn't be that bad, because he could feasibly lose the feud and still come out looking credible if he gives Taker the battle of his career. Heck, he could lose the rubber match, then take out Undertaker after the match is over, thereby allowing Taker to vacation again while making himself into a huge threat.
But it's not all good in SmackDOWN!land, as I indicated before. Aside from those four angles, the Judgment Day PPV is looking extremely flimsy. You have a Torrie vs Dawn Marie match that is so blatantly filler they didn't even bother to gimmick it. I mean, if you're going to throw a match together, at least make it something that can thrill fans. Maybe a Cruiserweight tag match, or something between Akio and Paul London that might steal the show. I mean, put your egos away, for goodness sakes.
Also coming from the left field bleachers is the Tag Titles match between Rico/Haas and Holly/Gunn. Am I the only one confused as to where the heck this came from? Maybe I missed a #1 contenders match on Velocity, but still! What buildup has this had? Absolutely nothing. You have two months to build toward a PPV. Even if you don't use every week to build toward an angle, you can at least use every other week. Right now, the interest is in how Haas and Rico get along, not if they'll win the match (which they will because Holly beat Rico on the last show before the PPV). The tag division is just stagnant because of things like this: throwing together a team and then immediately giving them a PPV spot. Fans will be confused by this inconsistency. Why don't the Bashams get a shot? Why don't Rikishi and Scotty get a rematch? Heck, they could have added the other two teams and made this a fatal-fourway and I wouldn't be as confused, even if we just had a fourway match last PPV.
Of course, compared to the Cruiserweight Division, the Tag Scene is roasted coals. The Cruisers have been deader than ice, and now you make a match between the former champion and... a woman who hasn't even been on TV in over a year. So you have some GREAT wrestlers in Kidman, Ultimo Dragon, Paul London, Akio, Jamie Noble, and Rey Mysterio, and the person who ends up winning the title from the most dominant Cruiser in recent memory is JACQUELINE??? Sure, it was a fluke win, but that doesn't help matters. There's good unpredictable, and there's bad unpredictable, and this ranks up there with David Arquette as putrid examples of surprise title changes.
Which leads me to one way SD! can put together great shows while they slowly build up their main event scene: The Cruiserweight Division. It really irritates me that they have not even tried to push it in the two, three years they've had it. A division means that you have several feuds within it, not just one. This is not "take turns appearing on TV." While Chavo feuds with someone for the title, you can have two other Cruisers feud for other reasons. You could have tag team Cruiserweight matches. You can have several Cruisers feud for the number one contendership. You also have Cruiserweight matches be more than normal wrestling matches featuring small fast guys. Look at what WCW did: they let their wrestlers do unique things. They let them write POETRY in the ring. It wasn't just telling a story, it was telling POETRY. Matches were absolutely graceful.
If you're going to brag about your division, give it something to brag about. "We have these Cruisers only on SmackDOWN doing amazing moves you will not see on RAW." THAT is the way you make things intriguing, increase ratings, and attract viewers. Why should fans be interested in watching a wrestling match that two bigger people could do exactly? Just LET the smaller guys perform innovative maneuvers, or use chain wrestling and flow them into spots that merge back into psychological matchwork. It's like the writers expect us to be impressed just because a Cruiser launched himself over the top rope onto a guy on the mat. I'm sorry, but we've seen THE UNDERTAKER DO THAT. After seeing Mysterio do a hilo to the outside for the 73rd time, it loses its novelty. It's not about Spots. It's about the whole thing.
It's pretty simple to see how this would help out SmackDOWN! Through the draft and through misfortune, the SmackDOWN main event has been reduced to Eddie and... that's all, really. Angle is out with injury. Big Show "quit" (to heal his injuries). Brock Lesnar is out trying to get on a Viking team that doesn't care about him. Benoit jumped to Raw. Edge was taken by RAW. Triple H went back to RAW. There's Undertaker, but he's a face and couldn't feud. There's also Booker T, who's the other main eventer, but he's stuck with Taker for the moment.
So the writers have to fabricate this JBL character (granted, a great character) and push him into a main even feud. The problem is that we still haven't been convinced that Bradshaw can beat Eddie. All we know is that he's a bully, he's a coward, he's arrogant, and he can destroy a Cruiserweight. Heck, even an impressive win over Rikishi would have helped, but we don't even had that.
Eddie faced this a few months ago, but he actually beat Brock and Angle to make himself credible. He also had the underdog angle going for him. JBL has... Wall Street?
Make no mistake about it, he belongs in the upper middle card. He'd make a great US champ, but definitely not the WWE champ.
As for Booker T, if the writers have any iota of logic, they will have Eddie feud with him after Judgment Day. These are two great workers who can put together a solid three or four month feud that will thrill viewers in terms of entertainment and wrestling. Furthermore, during this time, they can build other stars like Cena or Rob Van Dam into main eventers who will pose a legitimate threat to the title by the time the feud ends (preferably with Booker winning the strap by around Summerslam). Undertaker would feud with Mordecai, who cost him a match and is convinced that he's a sinner, in an entertaining angle pitting "good vs evil." Fans are definitely marking out for Taker's supernatural powers, so giving Mordecai some wouldn't hurt either, as long as they're not too over the top.
There's also Mark Jindrak. Yeah, remember him? He was heading toward high places before he suddenly go the O'Haire treatment and vanished. This guy really impressed me (a drop kick off a person on the top turnbuckle is always awesome), and he should have been given a person to destroy at Judgment Day. It wouldn't have been that hard: just have T. Long brag about him, then have someone stand up to him and challenge him. Then have Jindrak destroy the challenger or at least defeat him solidly (someone who isn't just a Spike Dudley... I was thinking maybe Holly before tonight). He's a future main eventer in the making, but it seems like the writers suddenly got amnesia again.
Seriously, it sounds elementary, but the writers should really just draw a diagram of al the shows leading up to the next PPV. Then list all the feuds they want to promote on any show. The major ones are promoted every week. The secondary ones are promoted every other week, or three weeks out of five. Make sure you have seven or eight good storylines that can be solidly built up going into a pay-per-view. If you forget something, add it in or move space around! It's not that hard!
Call me arrogant, but I really do believe I could do a better overall job of planning out storylines than they're doing right now. And I've actually demonstrated how in this article.
So to close it off, what I'd like to see in the upcoming months (with some repetitions):
- Eddie beats JBL, feuds with Booker T.
- Booker T defeats Taker with help from Mordecai, DOES NOT become a voodoo guy, goes on to feud with Eddie
- Taker feuds with Mordecai
- Cena continues his feud with Dupree for another month or two before eventually dropping the strap and moving up to the main event.
- The tag division is developed. Your teams: Haas/Rico, Rikishi/Scotty, Dudleys, Bashams, Akio/Sukoda, and I guess Gunn/Holly (now)
- Get the belt off Jacqueline as fast as possible and back on Chavo. Then get the open challenge right and have Paul London beat him for the belt.
- At the same time, create a running feud between another pair or group of Cruisers. Noble, Kidman, Ultimo can be used.
- Jindrak is a star in the making... use him. Or at least use him so it doesn't look like you just forgot about him. He's a great athelete and could definitely be an entertaining wrestler.
- Another alternative is to turn Taker heel and reform the ministry... but I'm not sure the fans would be receptive to that so soon. Maybe do that at the end of the year.
- You could also have RVD turn heel (if you can't beat them, join them) and join Heyman's stable. It wouldn't be called ECW, but we all know that it would represent the old fed anyway (kind of like how Evolution basically was the Four Horsemen, at least at the onset).
As usual, I welcome all thoughts, praises, criticisms, and such.
Bradshaw et al: you can kiss my ass. Stop being so ignorant as to say that all internet fans are puny nerds who criticize but never offer ideas and only live to bash the WWE.
I've decided to write again because looking at WWE programming recently, there's been a huge disparity between RAW and SmackDOWN! Though it might not be intentional, all of the recent shows point to RAW being taken as the number one show, while SmackDOWN! has been the little runt that's been ignored. RAW has thrilled viewers with some fantastic main events, it's tantalized viewers by announcing intriguing matchups in upcoming shows, and it's done a lot with its talent.
SmackDOWN! meanwhile has... languished.
Heading into Wrestlemania, both shows had been very tightly focused, with close-knit storylines and solid evidence of clear longterm booking. That has since evaporated a LOT on SD!
That's not to say that it's all been horrible. Contrary to what JR might have you believe, I am an internet fan who DOES praise in addition to criticize. So lets take a look at what the SD! writers have done right lately:
Eddie Guerrero vs John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Smokes alive! I just praised something involving JBL! But lets take a step back here. Lets forget about Bradshaw's wrestling ability for a moment. This feud has actually evolved into something intriguing. Though Bradshaw still has not been established as a legitimate threat to the title, the writers have done the best thing they could have done with this feud: make it personal.
Eddie Guerrero's number charisma skill is his emotion. By introducing the house show incident and revolving the story around that, they've given Eddie a reason to hate Bradshaw and feud with him. They've made JBL affect Eddie, which was lacking earlier. Plus, they made something interesting happen at a house show, which is always a pleasant surprise.
This feud has gotten really intense, with Bradshaw coming off as a big bully, which is great. It fits his character perfectly. The gimmick has been very successful, and JBL has really impressed me with his charisma and mic skills. It may be a feeder feud, but this is about one hundred times better than Hardcore Holly vs Lesnar, which made an Al Gore speech look rousing. Make no mistake about it: fans really want to see JBL get his, and they want their new people's champion, Eddie Guerrero, to give it. Eddie is gold with his emotions, and even though no one thinks JBL has a chance, people will still want to watch the main event to see Bradshaw get his ass kicked and get what he deserves.
John Cena vs Renee Dupree
In another feud that's been built up very nicely, the writers have also played emotions pretty well. Renee hates Cena. At the same time, he presents himself as a great heel with his charisma and his heinous actions. Nothing more effective than powerbombing arguably the most popular guy on the show through a table to get HUGE heat.
The feud itself is a fresh storyline that could turn out to be a great one, especially if the ringwork matches the mic work. Dupree has been reborn on SmackDOWN!, playing off of his talent instead of simply being an anti-American pig. Tazz and Cole have also done a great job, putting him over as a wrestler instead of constantly spouting off patriotic jargon. Cena has also made a few strides during the course of this feud, no longer speaking only in rhyme. He's been really getting the crowd into his promos with simple cheap (but effective) pop techniques, reminding me of Road Dogg while he was with the New Age Outlaws.
Overall, you have the now-veteran Cena going up against the French Phenom, and the best thing is that there is no clear prediction. Cena has the advantage of being a champ, but Dupree seems like he can match up with him really well and stands a great chance of winning, even if he has to cheat. Lack of predictability always helps an angle.
Undertaker vs Booker T
For a feud that was basically the result of not having anything else to do with the two, this has turned out pretty well. Tonight culmination, with Taker's music hitting, Booker leaving the ring, and then Taker appearing "out of nowhere" in the middle of the ring had me marking out for old times, and Booker came out perfectly, looking nervous but not like a total chicken.
He's stood up to Taker, which makes him look strong. He even clocked Taker in the head with an urn! He's not afraid of challenging the Dead Man, and it really supports his "I'm the best guy here in the minor leagues" personality.
I could definitely do without the voodoo stuff, though. The hand from the grave also doesn't make sense, because the announcers haven't mentioned it again, and unless they're going to really do the Booker Shango thing (please Lord, I hope not), that will turn out to be completely useless. If they do go through, it'll make sense, but I won't like it.
Still, if things go the way I hope they go--namely, Mordecai chooses Taker as his first "sinner" to target and costs him the match against Booker, who goes on to feud with Eddie, this feud could be a great springboard. Call it a set-up feud, if you will.
Mordecai:
He's had some AWESOME promos, and he's been pretty well set up as the heel to uses the name of religion to justify his heinous deeds. Think of it as D-Von's reverend gimmick, but a lot darker. Mordecai has an amazing look to him, and his little cross icon thingy is just killer. A feud with Taker really wouldn't be that bad, because he could feasibly lose the feud and still come out looking credible if he gives Taker the battle of his career. Heck, he could lose the rubber match, then take out Undertaker after the match is over, thereby allowing Taker to vacation again while making himself into a huge threat.
But it's not all good in SmackDOWN!land, as I indicated before. Aside from those four angles, the Judgment Day PPV is looking extremely flimsy. You have a Torrie vs Dawn Marie match that is so blatantly filler they didn't even bother to gimmick it. I mean, if you're going to throw a match together, at least make it something that can thrill fans. Maybe a Cruiserweight tag match, or something between Akio and Paul London that might steal the show. I mean, put your egos away, for goodness sakes.
Also coming from the left field bleachers is the Tag Titles match between Rico/Haas and Holly/Gunn. Am I the only one confused as to where the heck this came from? Maybe I missed a #1 contenders match on Velocity, but still! What buildup has this had? Absolutely nothing. You have two months to build toward a PPV. Even if you don't use every week to build toward an angle, you can at least use every other week. Right now, the interest is in how Haas and Rico get along, not if they'll win the match (which they will because Holly beat Rico on the last show before the PPV). The tag division is just stagnant because of things like this: throwing together a team and then immediately giving them a PPV spot. Fans will be confused by this inconsistency. Why don't the Bashams get a shot? Why don't Rikishi and Scotty get a rematch? Heck, they could have added the other two teams and made this a fatal-fourway and I wouldn't be as confused, even if we just had a fourway match last PPV.
Of course, compared to the Cruiserweight Division, the Tag Scene is roasted coals. The Cruisers have been deader than ice, and now you make a match between the former champion and... a woman who hasn't even been on TV in over a year. So you have some GREAT wrestlers in Kidman, Ultimo Dragon, Paul London, Akio, Jamie Noble, and Rey Mysterio, and the person who ends up winning the title from the most dominant Cruiser in recent memory is JACQUELINE??? Sure, it was a fluke win, but that doesn't help matters. There's good unpredictable, and there's bad unpredictable, and this ranks up there with David Arquette as putrid examples of surprise title changes.
Which leads me to one way SD! can put together great shows while they slowly build up their main event scene: The Cruiserweight Division. It really irritates me that they have not even tried to push it in the two, three years they've had it. A division means that you have several feuds within it, not just one. This is not "take turns appearing on TV." While Chavo feuds with someone for the title, you can have two other Cruisers feud for other reasons. You could have tag team Cruiserweight matches. You can have several Cruisers feud for the number one contendership. You also have Cruiserweight matches be more than normal wrestling matches featuring small fast guys. Look at what WCW did: they let their wrestlers do unique things. They let them write POETRY in the ring. It wasn't just telling a story, it was telling POETRY. Matches were absolutely graceful.
If you're going to brag about your division, give it something to brag about. "We have these Cruisers only on SmackDOWN doing amazing moves you will not see on RAW." THAT is the way you make things intriguing, increase ratings, and attract viewers. Why should fans be interested in watching a wrestling match that two bigger people could do exactly? Just LET the smaller guys perform innovative maneuvers, or use chain wrestling and flow them into spots that merge back into psychological matchwork. It's like the writers expect us to be impressed just because a Cruiser launched himself over the top rope onto a guy on the mat. I'm sorry, but we've seen THE UNDERTAKER DO THAT. After seeing Mysterio do a hilo to the outside for the 73rd time, it loses its novelty. It's not about Spots. It's about the whole thing.
It's pretty simple to see how this would help out SmackDOWN! Through the draft and through misfortune, the SmackDOWN main event has been reduced to Eddie and... that's all, really. Angle is out with injury. Big Show "quit" (to heal his injuries). Brock Lesnar is out trying to get on a Viking team that doesn't care about him. Benoit jumped to Raw. Edge was taken by RAW. Triple H went back to RAW. There's Undertaker, but he's a face and couldn't feud. There's also Booker T, who's the other main eventer, but he's stuck with Taker for the moment.
So the writers have to fabricate this JBL character (granted, a great character) and push him into a main even feud. The problem is that we still haven't been convinced that Bradshaw can beat Eddie. All we know is that he's a bully, he's a coward, he's arrogant, and he can destroy a Cruiserweight. Heck, even an impressive win over Rikishi would have helped, but we don't even had that.
Eddie faced this a few months ago, but he actually beat Brock and Angle to make himself credible. He also had the underdog angle going for him. JBL has... Wall Street?
Make no mistake about it, he belongs in the upper middle card. He'd make a great US champ, but definitely not the WWE champ.
As for Booker T, if the writers have any iota of logic, they will have Eddie feud with him after Judgment Day. These are two great workers who can put together a solid three or four month feud that will thrill viewers in terms of entertainment and wrestling. Furthermore, during this time, they can build other stars like Cena or Rob Van Dam into main eventers who will pose a legitimate threat to the title by the time the feud ends (preferably with Booker winning the strap by around Summerslam). Undertaker would feud with Mordecai, who cost him a match and is convinced that he's a sinner, in an entertaining angle pitting "good vs evil." Fans are definitely marking out for Taker's supernatural powers, so giving Mordecai some wouldn't hurt either, as long as they're not too over the top.
There's also Mark Jindrak. Yeah, remember him? He was heading toward high places before he suddenly go the O'Haire treatment and vanished. This guy really impressed me (a drop kick off a person on the top turnbuckle is always awesome), and he should have been given a person to destroy at Judgment Day. It wouldn't have been that hard: just have T. Long brag about him, then have someone stand up to him and challenge him. Then have Jindrak destroy the challenger or at least defeat him solidly (someone who isn't just a Spike Dudley... I was thinking maybe Holly before tonight). He's a future main eventer in the making, but it seems like the writers suddenly got amnesia again.
Seriously, it sounds elementary, but the writers should really just draw a diagram of al the shows leading up to the next PPV. Then list all the feuds they want to promote on any show. The major ones are promoted every week. The secondary ones are promoted every other week, or three weeks out of five. Make sure you have seven or eight good storylines that can be solidly built up going into a pay-per-view. If you forget something, add it in or move space around! It's not that hard!
Call me arrogant, but I really do believe I could do a better overall job of planning out storylines than they're doing right now. And I've actually demonstrated how in this article.
So to close it off, what I'd like to see in the upcoming months (with some repetitions):
- Eddie beats JBL, feuds with Booker T.
- Booker T defeats Taker with help from Mordecai, DOES NOT become a voodoo guy, goes on to feud with Eddie
- Taker feuds with Mordecai
- Cena continues his feud with Dupree for another month or two before eventually dropping the strap and moving up to the main event.
- The tag division is developed. Your teams: Haas/Rico, Rikishi/Scotty, Dudleys, Bashams, Akio/Sukoda, and I guess Gunn/Holly (now)
- Get the belt off Jacqueline as fast as possible and back on Chavo. Then get the open challenge right and have Paul London beat him for the belt.
- At the same time, create a running feud between another pair or group of Cruisers. Noble, Kidman, Ultimo can be used.
- Jindrak is a star in the making... use him. Or at least use him so it doesn't look like you just forgot about him. He's a great athelete and could definitely be an entertaining wrestler.
- Another alternative is to turn Taker heel and reform the ministry... but I'm not sure the fans would be receptive to that so soon. Maybe do that at the end of the year.
- You could also have RVD turn heel (if you can't beat them, join them) and join Heyman's stable. It wouldn't be called ECW, but we all know that it would represent the old fed anyway (kind of like how Evolution basically was the Four Horsemen, at least at the onset).
As usual, I welcome all thoughts, praises, criticisms, and such.
Bradshaw et al: you can kiss my ass. Stop being so ignorant as to say that all internet fans are puny nerds who criticize but never offer ideas and only live to bash the WWE.