The Final Raw Thread Of 2013 (Raw Thread - 31/12/13)

[Cool King]

http://www.wwe.com/f/wysiwyg/image/2013/12/raw/20131220_RAW_Preview30th_LIGHT_HOMEPAGE.jpg

Welcome!

Let's hope Raw ends the year on a high, and also let's hope that we don't see Big Show in a nappy/diaper again.

No spoilers please.

[Cool King]

I get the feeling that the turnout here will be pretty low.

[Mr. Nerfect]

Apparently we are getting longer matches on RAW tonight due to some top talent not being around for the show. Here's hoping for Antonio Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan or CM Punk.

[Cool King]

Here's hoping for Antonio Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan or CM Punk.

That would be pretty sweet.

[Mr. Nerfect]

Jack Swagger can take on the other guy. I'm not as into Swagger as I am Cesaro, but man is Swagger sweet in the ring.

[Mr. Nerfect]

I'd mark the fucking fuck out if Triple H made the announcement that The Shield will face each other in a Triple Threat Match with the winner being #30 in the Rumble or something.

[James Steele]

I'd chop my dick off and mail it to Triple H is I could get his address.

[Mr. Nerfect]

They should also do an AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn match, I feel. Put AJ over clean but give us a nod to their epic rivalry from earlier this year.

[ClockShot]

Just to clarify. Is this a live show. Or already taped?

[Corndad]

Nice to have a live Raw tonight again. Let's do this. Rumble season is upon us.

[Cool King]

I was under the impression that it was taped.

[Lock Jaw]

The bug in the corner says Live, so it must be Live. THEY WOULDN'T LIE

[Lock Jaw]

CM Punk needs to cut his hair

[Corndad]

This is live but they already taped Smackdown for Friday

[Lock Jaw]

Shield has been unstoppable, except for all those losses.

[ClockShot]

The bug in the corner says Live, so it must be Live. THEY WOULDN'T LIE


..........Yeah. They would.

[Lock Jaw]

Love The Shield. Never break up.

[ClockShot]

SIERRA..........HOTEL...........INDIA...........ECHO...........LIMA............DELTA..............SH IELD!

[Cool King]

Rollins looking confused as he picked up Ambrose's title.

[Lock Jaw]

Dean Ambrose looking especially moist tonight

[ClockShot]

Wild as it sounds, I wanna see Punk and The Shield get back together.

[Cool King]

Who's the best member of The Shield?

That smells like a future break up.

[Cool King]

Uh oh, Rollins has a mic.

[Corndad]

Well it isn't apparent to me which group is breaking up soon is it?


Wow a Roman Reigns chant

[Lock Jaw]

MAD-OX!

[Cool King]

Ambrose is acting like a crack addict who's missed his fix, in the background there.

[Cool King]

First time ever.

[ClockShot]

We just celebrated The Shield's anniversary and now they wanna break them up.

Who's genius idea was this? Steph's?

[Lock Jaw]

Dean Ambrose reminding me of Billy Kidman as a part of Raven's Flock. Seems perpetually itchy/fidgety.

[Poit]

I'd chop my dick off and mail it to Triple H is I could get his address.

Paul Levesque
1241 East Main Street
Stamford, CT 06902

[Cool King]

This episode of Raw has a lot more coughing than usual.

I'd say 100% more.

[ClockShot]

That's a nifty finisher Rollins got there. Needs to execute it a little faster, imo.

[Lock Jaw]

Pretty sweet match

[Cool King]

New ref.

[ClockShot]

Kane Mask in a Case.

Something for Repo Man to lift.

[Cool King]

Sounds like a Gauntlet match.

[ClockShot]

TERRELL OWENS!?

[Corndad]

Orton Retrospective. I feel so old.

[Poit]

This time they don't even show Benoit's leg.

[Cool King]

I'm going to take a guess and say that the Royal Rumble main event will be Orton vs Batista.

[ClockShot]

I miss Legend Killer Randy Orton.

[Frank Drebin]

Orton vs. Goldust

[ClockShot]

Let's not show the Orton vs. McMahon(s) footage.

[Cool King]

Cena?

I'm quite underwhelmed. :-\

[Poit]

So, there's no special stipulation, but it's "victory by pinfall or submission only", which means no-DQ?

[Corndad]

Well least I don't have to watch Cena win the Rumble live lol

[Cool King]

Really hope Fandango wins tonight.

I doubt he will, but if he does, fantastic.

[Frank Drebin]

Wish I could buy the Royal Rumble a-la cart and just watch the 30-man match for, like, $15-20

[Frank Drebin]

Does Batista return as a face or heel?

[Emperor Smeat]

Bryan still makes the most sense winning the Rumble.

Orton retains means Bryan can finally get the upperhand at Mania while Cena winning means Bryan-Cena II and redo that push that was mishandled badly during the summer.

[Cool King]

Hate how the word "epic" is crowbarred into everything these days.

[Frank Drebin]

Justin Roberts, like so many WWE employees, needs to shave his shitty facial hair.

[ClockShot]

Does Batista return as a face or heel?

I know he's returning for the same reason everyone else does. Needs a paycheck.

Oh, and an instant title shot. For old times sake.

[Cool King]

Awesome, Axel!

[Lock Jaw]

They really should give Curtis Axel a Prospector gimmick

[Cool King]

Does Batista return as a face or heel?

From what I've seen, I get the feeling he'll return as a heel.

[ClockShot]

Yeah. Dolph needs a do-over for 2014. 2013 was quite the disaster.

[Lock Jaw]

Dolph with pink highlights in his hair, obviously joined the Hart Dynasty

[Frank Drebin]

I know he's returning for the same reason everyone else does. Needs a paycheck.

Oh, and an instant title shot. For old times sake.

WWE pretty short on money makers heading toward 'mania. Batista just the next dip back into the well.

[Frank Drebin]

Dolph with pink highlights in his hair, obviously joined the Hart Dynasty

Nattie cheating on Tyson Kidd with Ziggler?? Juicy stuff for Total Divas Season 2.

[Emperor Smeat]

WWE pretty short on money makers heading toward 'mania. Batista just the next dip back into the well.

Pretty much their fault on how badly they've handled creating new big money makers outside of Punk recently these past few years.

[GD]

Ziggler wins :eek:

[Cool King]

Going to take a guess and say that Kofi wins the vote.

[GD]

I can't vote on the app :nono:

[Frank Drebin]

Pretty much their fault on how badly they've handled creating new big money makers outside of Cena and recently Punk the past few years.

They really need to bite the bullet and go through a "rebuilding" period. They simply won't do anything like that though. Too easy to call an old guy during the R2WM. They'l keep charging forward until the engine runs out of gas.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Just watched Dolph cashing in for the World Title on WWE.com. The episode of Raw is still on my DVR.

[ClockShot]

Olde School Raw?

Those are always good.

[Cool King]

Raw Old School!

[Frank Drebin]

oh yeah, forgot about old school Raw. All the former talent who are currently agents in the back will be on camera. Goody.

Ill still hope for a shocking appearance by the Ultimate Warrior.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Summer Rae looks primed for a Wardrobe Malfunction. :)

[Frank Drebin]

Damn....Summer.....rrrrrr......:drool:

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Voted for the Great Khali so they can have a promo with Sandow maybe teaching him english.

[Lock Jaw]

Summer Rae looks sizzlin' tonight

[ClockShot]

"Get My Bags" Sign.


Who's that directed at in this match?

[Lock Jaw]

Remember that time where Fandango was primed to win the IC title, but then he got a concussion and so Curtis Axel won it instead?

[Cool King]

Summer Rae has a great body, but her face is just "hmm". :-\

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

"Get My Bags" Sign.


Who's that directed at in this match?

Hopefully not Randy Orton.

[Frank Drebin]

Remember that time where Fandango was primed to win the IC title, but then he got a concussion and so Curtis Axel won it instead?

Axel winning the IC Title on Father's Day was kinda cool though.

[Cool King]

Spinning Heel Kick.

[owenbrown]

Did I just see Big E Langston with a vertical leap?! :eek:

[GD]

Fandango reminds me of Psychosis.

[Frank Drebin]

Summer Rae has a great body, but her face is just "hmm". :-\

Give me your top 3 right now. Don't have to be wrasslers.

[Lock Jaw]

Summer Rae has a great body, but her face is just "hmm". :-\

Yeah, it is tough to look "sexy" when you have lazy eyes. She sometimes pulls it off, sometimes not.

[Frank Drebin]

You guys are killing me.

[owenbrown]

that dress is not very PG :shifty:

[Cool King]

Give me your top 3 right now. Don't have to be wrasslers.

Meh, I'll stick with wrasslers.

Don't really have a "Top *Number*" but off the top of my head, I'd say Kaitlyn, Lita and Beth Phoenix.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

It is Pretty Great.

[Cool King]

Yeah, it is tough to look "sexy" when you have lazy eyes. She sometimes pulls it off, sometimes not.

It's her nose that really gets me, along with her very pointed chin.

[Cool King]

Big E wins with that move.

[Frank Drebin]

Dont like the big splash by langston. Especially with Brodus using it too.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Anybody who insults hottness of divas needs to present evidence that they are attractive enough to deny sex if offered by a diva.

[Lock Jaw]

Have no issues with Summer Rae's nose or chin. Mainly the eyes that distract me.

[GD]

Fandango looked solid tonight.

[Theo Dious]

Anybody who insults hottness of divas needs to present evidence that they are attractive enough to deny sex if offered by a diva.

Oh please.

[Frank Drebin]

Summer Rae does not have lazy eyes (see Paris Hilton for lazy eye)

She has lyin' eyes
and her smile is a big disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
there ain't no way she has a lazy eye

[Cool King]

Have no issues with Summer Rae's nose or chin. Mainly the eyes that distract me.

Her nose is the first thing I notice when I see her.

It's like a beacon. :-\

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Punk/Reigns next week. Hell yeah.

[ClockShot]

THE RAW IS WAR THEME!

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Alex Riley sighting.

[Corndad]

Random Alex Riley sighting

[Cool King]

Fuck yeah, Kaitlyn!

[Lock Jaw]

Darren Young quite the ladies man

[Frank Drebin]

Booker getting hair style tips from Oprah or what?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Don't let Rosa get near the champagne.

[Corndad]

Kaitlyn with a wedding band :(

[ClockShot]

NEWSFLASH!

[Frank Drebin]

hahahahaha, he rises from the ashes

[Lock Jaw]

Bad News Pedestal

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

I've got bad news for Wade Barrett...he's got vertigo.

[ClockShot]

Heh heh. Judge Barrett is up there.

[Frank Drebin]

"bucka"

[owenbrown]

the fuck is this shit?

[Cool King]

He's elevating!

Gertner must be loving this.

[Frank Drebin]

Titus has a milk jug of moonshine there?

[Corndad]

I've got some bad news...

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

you lot lol

[Lock Jaw]

I remember the first Old School RAW where Wade Barrett was involved with the main event, and had the interview segment with Mean Gene at the top of the stage.

[Blonde Moment]

Well this is shit
From being a bad ass to just being bad. :/

[Frank Drebin]

Barrett dropping some truth on the cast of Total Divas. Think they'l all realize they've led meaningless lives and leave to go to grad school?

[Emperor Smeat]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Based on the size of Bad News <a href="https://twitter.com/WadeBarrett">@WadeBarrett</a>'s lectern he must have an incredibly small penis. <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23RAWTonight&amp;src=hash">#RAWTonight</a></p>&mdash; WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) <a href="https://twitter.com/WWECreative_ish/statuses/417843040590368768">December 31, 2013</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[Cool King]

Reneeee!

[Lock Jaw]

I hope they do the top of the ramp interview/segment next week, they didn't do it at the last one. I like the backdrop of fans.

[Cool King]

So is Barrett's gimmick just that of a buzzkill?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Vote for Khali for easy victory for Sandow.

[owenbrown]

I hate to say this... but Bad News Gertner is probably > Bad News Barrett :-\

[parkmania]

Is Barrett injured? Seems like they're desperately trying to keep him relevant while not putting him in the ring.


Or is it a case of "creative not having anything for him"?

[owenbrown]

Sandow must be in the doghouse

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Worse. This is creative having something for him.

[Frank Drebin]

I hate to say this... but Bad News Gertner is probably > Bad News Barrett :-\

I don't know which emoticon to use here

[Emperor Smeat]

Is Barrett injured? Seems like they're desperately trying to keep him relevant while not putting him in the ring.


Or is it a case of "creative not having anything for him"?

Probably the latter and been like that ever since he had visa issues a few months ago.

[Cool King]

"Look at this NFL player holding a toy version of a defunct championship!"

[owenbrown]

oh ffs they are acknowledging the Lebron wants a title belt stuff :roll:

[Frank Drebin]

Good gravy. Lebron better hope no one at WWE headquarters gets ahold of his phone number.

[owenbrown]

Sandow gonna job :'(

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

JBL has hated football for years I guess.

[Lock Jaw]

UMALAKHALAMAHAKALO

[Cool King]

Saving Miz/Kofi for later....again.

[Frank Drebin]

Imagining the WWE trying desperately to get Lebron to appear on TV now, leaving 50 voice mails like a stalker chick - each one sounding more desperate than the last.

[GD]

Motherfucking Khali :yes:

[ClockShot]

Hey, remember when Batista quit?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Too bad the Heat were in Boston for a basketball game during WrestleMania weekend two years ago.

[Crimson]

Good gravy. Lebron better hope no one at WWE headquarters gets ahold of his phone number.

:lol:

[Frank Drebin]

"Ok ok....tell you what, Lebron, how about you send out a few touts??"

[parkmania]

JBL has hated football for years I guess.

Probably ever since he didn't make it in the World League of American Football.

http://www.tradingcarddb.com/Images/Cards/Football/14197/14197-146Fr.jpg

http://www.tradingcarddb.com/Images/Cards/Football/14197/14197-146Bk.jpg

[Lock Jaw]

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[Frank Drebin]

"Hi Lebron, its me again. Listen, I was just thinking that maybe if you didn't want to appear on TV or send out a few touts, you could be our Social Media Ambassador for a night? Hows that? K. Call meeeee."

[Cool King]

I would love to learn Latin.

[GD]

This is the most I have seen Khali wrestle this year.

[Lock Jaw]

Collie

[parkmania]

Would love to see Sandow lose and come back in a mask.

[Frank Drebin]

Want to see how Khali looks when he jumps rope

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

His shoulder was up.

[ClockShot]

That shoulder looked up to me.

[Lock Jaw]

Ref: Yeah... his shoulders are up, but I don't really want this match to continue so.....

[Cool King]

Khali's shoulder was up!

[owenbrown]

lol WWE has NFL-esque refs

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Didn't think they'd mention an obvious botch.

[Lock Jaw]

Great Khali Screwjob

[Frank Drebin]

His shoulder was up.

That shoulder looked up to me.

Ref: Yeah... his shoulders are up, but I don't really want this match to continue so.....

Khali's shoulder was up!

Makeup call from when the refs didn't rule him out when he walked over the top rope during that battle royal.

[Lock Jaw]

Great Khali Screwjob

http://i.imgur.com/aVPkg.gif

[parkmania]

OK, so due to the ref's incompetence, we get a rematch next week with Sandow's career officially on the line, right?

[rockman725]

Hey, remember when Batista quit?

Only thing I remember from that time is how sorry I felt for all those poor bastards that spent $50 to watch Cena wrap Roidtista's ankles in duct tape.

I'll truly be disappointed if he doesn't come back with duct tape in hand. Cause you know, you're suppose to learn from past mistakes. :y:

[James Steele]

:lol: The joke was that Khali was going to shove his big hand up Vince McMahon's rectum.

[dronepool]

RAW sucks so far... well I missed the first 40 minutes... the middle of that Orton promo was when I started watching.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

so you missed CM Punk Vs. Seth Rollins. Raw sucks for you then.

[ClockShot]

Jackson Hewitt sponsoring the Rumble. Totally putting money on I.R.S. being a mystery contestant.

[James Steele]

Am I the only one who thinks it is weird as fuck that a tax preparer is sponsoring the Royal Rumble?

[Cool King]

Brodus is the one going through a complete character change but yet he gets the jobber entrance?

[parkmania]

Brodus is the one going through a complete character change but yet he gets the jobber entrance?

Because they're probably wanting to get us to stop associating "Funky's on a Roll" with him, but haven't gotten new music made for him yet.


Just so his new music doesn't start with a Pterodactyl "screech".

[Cool King]

Am I the only one who thinks it is weird as fuck that a tax preparer is sponsoring the Royal Rumble?

Maybe they wanted to sponsor the PPV so it would act as a reminder to people to pay their taxes?

[Lock Jaw]

Brodus needs to get the win over these dastardly heels

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Are they ever going to get rid of the "tons of funk" logo when they come out?

[ClockShot]

I guess I missed the episode where the cheerleaders ditched Brodus.

[James Steele]

Hate to be a cliche smark, but here is another example of a WWE babyface being a complete dick.

[Lock Jaw]

I kind of want to see Brodus Clay built up to an IC title match vs Big E Langston. Could be a "good" match.

[James Steele]

BEST PART OF RAW IS COMING UP NEXT!!!!!

[Poit]

Hey STD, check the Survivor thread, there's a question for you there.

[Cool King]

"The non-Total Divas" (AKA "The Divas we don't give a flying fuck about because they're not on Total Divas")

[Corndad]

Always love Old School Raws

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Come on Kaitlyn take out these sluts.

[Cool King]

Because they're probably wanting to get us to stop associating "Funky's on a Roll" with him, but haven't gotten new music made for him yet.

They could have just gave him his old theme in the meantime.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/jsZe2LT2yoY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Lock Jaw]

Celebrate the new year by celebrating the past, WWE Old School

[James Steele]

Fuck, Triple H looks quite dapper in that suit.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

They could have just gave him his old theme in the meantime.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/jsZe2LT2yoY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/JgZBEcEo1cU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[ClockShot]

BROCK!

[dronepool]

oh hi Brock.

[Cool King]

Lesnar!

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

HOLY SHIT.

[James Steele]

OH SHIT...EPIC RETURN!!!

[Corndad]

HHH introing Brock Lesnar. Nice.

[Lock Jaw]

DAMN. Lesnar!!!!

(Was hoping it was gonna be Christian)

[Poit]

Well then.

[Cool King]

And he's brought Heyman with him! :D

[Corndad]

Here comes the Pain.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Where's Brock arm pose fan?

[ClockShot]

Pauly got a mic.

[Corndad]

JBL- "Head the size of a Buick!" LOL

[James Steele]

TRIPLE H AND BROCK HAVE SO MUCH HISTORY, BUT TRIPLE H IS SO DEDICATED TO HIS ROLE AS COO AND DOING "WHAT IS BEST FOR BUSINESS" THAT HE WILL BRING BACK HIS ARCH NEMESIS FROM THE PAST YEAR OR SO. WHAT TRULY AWE-INSPIRING STORYTELLING!!!!

Thank you, Vince. Thank you for letting your son in law bloom into the creative daisy of excellence that he was destined to be.

[Emperor Smeat]

Heyman has to be happy he got a competent Heyman Guy back

[James Steele]

:lol:

#BestForBusiness in the top left bug.

[Lock Jaw]

Brock's ears freakin me out

[Cool King]

"Brock Lesnar is back to with the Royal Rumble match", say it Heyman!

[Cool King]

Brock's ears freakin me out

I was just looking at them and thinking similar things.

[James Steele]

...to be WWE World Heavyweight Champion?

[Corndad]

"Hey Paul Say Something Stupid"

[ClockShot]

Whoa. World Heavyweight Champion. That's one of 2 belts there.

[James Steele]

I'd actually like to see Brock/Cena II.

[James Steele]

*cue Ken Shamrock music*

[Lock Jaw]

Brock, just let Paul talk for you

[Cool King]

Lesnar vs Batista, that might be a good'un.

[James Steele]

*cue Doink the Clown music*

[dronepool]

Bryan or Taker?

[Mr. Nerfect]

I'm still thinking we get Brock Lesnar vs. Batista at WrestleMania.

[James Steele]

Early batista return would be amazing.

[GD]

Would love to see Brock Lesnar destroy Randy Orton.

[dronepool]

lol Henry

[James Steele]

MARK HENRY!!!!!!!!!!!

GETTIN' YO WIG SPLIT

[Cool King]

Now, THIS I would like to see!

[Corndad]

Good Santa for the save

[James Steele]

THAT'S WHAT HE DO!!!!!!!!!!

[ClockShot]

Ooooh. ooooh. I know what happens next. I know what happens next!

[Mr. Nerfect]

Nattie cheating on Tyson Kidd with Ziggler?? Juicy stuff for Total Divas Season 2.

I've been thinking they should do this for a while. Well, just have Ziggler beat Tyson Kidd on RAW one week and be a total dick about it, and then he starts hitting on Natalya and talking about how he can have any woman he wants. Would be a decent under-card program for the Rumble or Elimination Chamber.

[Lock Jaw]

Still hate bald Mark Henry. Ten times less badass looking.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

That scream hahahaha.

[James Steele]

Sweet Jesus, that "tackle through the barrier" spot never gets old.

[Crimson]

Damnit DirecTV has effed up this whole segment.

[dronepool]

Brock screams like a pterodactyl

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Holy shit.

[ClockShot]

RAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[Cool King]

Just laughed at the second Lesnar scream. :lol:

[Mr. Nerfect]

Unlikely as all fuck, but what if Big E. Langston steps to Lesnar and Brock wins the IC Title and takes it into the WrestleMania World Title match? They've got the US Title as a mid-card title. The IC Title can officially become part of the Undisputed Unified Universal World Heavyweight Championship.

[James Steele]

Brock can't even act out a primal scream right.

[Corndad]

Taker vs Brock at Mania would be so sick.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Henry just got his back split.

[Lock Jaw]

Where was Mark Henry's friend Big E Langston to help him?

[Heisenberg]

DirecTV fuckin fucked up the feed for Lesnar here

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

He's no moron.

[Emperor Smeat]

Thought Lesnar was going to F-5 Henry onto the table.

[GD]

I love the "physicality" of Brock Lesnar.

[Lock Jaw]

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[GD]

Big E must have a bad case of déjàvu.

[#1-norm-fan]

Seems like Lesnar vs Cena for the title is one possible WrestleMania match that hasn't been discussed much.

[GD]

I always thought that "Feeling Good" was Muse's song.

[Cool King]

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<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/VBiHuzduzQA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[#1-norm-fan]

Big E must have a bad case of déjàvu.

Not sure how Big E's psychic gimmick is gonna work out but I'm intrigued.

[Cool King]

Where was Mark Henry's friend Big E Langston to help him?

He's probably hard a work trying to think up a better finishing move.

[Lock Jaw]

I wish Christian had come out instead of Henry and taken out Lesnar

[Cool King]

I look forward to seeing Lesnar/Henry in the near future.

[Corndad]

Eva Marie even looks awkward walking down the ramp

[Cool King]

I wish Christian had come out instead of Henry and taken out Lesnar

You know what they're doing, right?

They're keeping Christian off TV so he can be a surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble match and go on to win said match.