WWE Network Watch Diary/Open Blog

[James Steele]

I'm hoping to do a weekly entry here doing a play-by-play analysis and humerous op-ed that will be updated live as I watch one of the many many video offerings on WWE Network.

I invite others to do the same. Any suggestions for what video I should do first?

[screech]

I was doing this for the 1999 WWF PPVs. Then I realized I was "missing out" on the shows (I had never seen them).

Maybe the final PPVs of WCW to see if they were as ridiculous as everyone says?

[Evil Vito]

Maybe the final PPVs of WCW to see if they were as ridiculous as everyone says?

<font color=goldenrod>I have next to no desire to watch WCW Sin or WCW Superbrawl Revenge, but WCW Greed (WCW's final PPV, 8 days before the final Nitro) was actually a pretty solid PPV.</font>

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>I'm going to slowly work my way through the Clash of the Champions. Watched the first one. Highly recommended. WWE is lucky to get one really good tag team match on a show, and this one had two with The Fantastics vs. The Midnight Express and The Horsemen (Tully & Arn) vs. Windham and Luger. A ton of action and the crowd was shit hot for both. And of course the main event is Flair vs. Sting for the NWA Title and it's pretty much the moment where Sting became a bona fide star.</font>

[Razzamajazz]

Triple H's documentary is the only answer.

[James Steele]

Triple H's documentary is the only answer.

I thought that'd be too predictable. I was thinking WCW BattleBowl 93.

[James Steele]

Paul Roma and Erik Watts make a perfect duo with hindsight being 20/20.

[James Steele]

WCW's old blue, black, and yellow ropes are fucking with my eyes.

[James Steele]

Watching Fall Brawl 2000, and all I've got to say is this:

JIM DUGGAN HEEL TURN

[James Steele]

The theme WWE dubbed over for MIA is completely inappropriate for the stable.

[James Steele]

Holy shit, Scott Hudson is worse than Matt Striker and Mean Gene just stood up to NBT. You need to watch Fall Brawl 2000!

[Lock Jaw]

How many WCW themes are dubbed over on the network? Pretty sure that would ruin the entire experience for me.

[James Steele]

HOLY SHIT, PAUL ORNDORFF IS COMPETING AT FALL BRAWL 2000!

[James Steele]

Sanders' stickball stick may be my new favorite weapon.

[James Steele]

Even with only 1 good arm, Orndorff looks awesome in this match.

[James Steele]

Fuck, Paul Orndorff broke his neck or something in this match. They stopped the match and announced they had to stop the match so EMTs could attend to him.

[James Steele]

God, Mark Madden and Scott Hudson are making Tony Schiovanie seem like Gordon Solie. Also, every promo has cursing shoe-horned in it and the announcers shoehorn shocking/offensive language into commentary for no reason. Maybe PG isn't so bad. It actually means something when bitch is only said a few times a year. I just heard bitch 10 times in 2 minutes leading into this Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson vs Kidman/Medusa scaffold match. Yes, this is a MIXED TAG TEAM SCAFFOLD MATCH...in the Midcard.

[James Steele]

Apparently Douglas hung Kidman and fractured his larynx at the last PPV, but Kidman healed in just 3 weeks. Billy Kidman is god.

[James Steele]

Shane Douglas kicked Medusa off the ladder and she landed hard on the crash pad below. Mark Madden said that pad didn't have much give to it. Apparently it is an elimination scaffold match where you can win by throwing opponents off or by climbing down ladder to the floor below.

Douglas throws Kidman to another crash pad that caves in. Apparently, you have to win by throwing opponents off and climbing down the ladder. DONKEY KONG RULES SCAFFOLD MATCH!!!

[James Steele]

Scaffold matches are fucking stupid.

[James Steele]

Sting vs Muta vs Vampiro next.

Wow... Promo is about tomorrow's mAtch sting has for world title.

Jeff Jarrett assaults Sting. OkurlAnd calls jeff Jarrett a crazy bastard.

[James Steele]

Tenay going to David flairs house to discuss the failed wedding between him and Miss Hancock. Tenay refuses to sit down, eat, or drink in his house.

[James Steele]

David Flair putting the mailman in the figure four in his front yard because the mail man may have knocked up Miss Hancock. First, he Accused his 11 year old brother Reid of fucking Miss Hancock. (RIP)

Muta comes out to early 90s WCW Japanese wrestler music.

[James Steele]

WWE dubbed over his Metallica theme with his original Crow theme. Doesn't fit his entrance at all.

[James Steele]

Fuck me, ICP is on commentary. Mike Madden and ICP doing all the talking. I want to die now. ICP and Madden shilling JCW and calling Sting "Stink". Apparently, Schiovanie took off his headset and left. Poor Tony...

[James Steele]

The fat ICP guy just said "he just landed on his gluteus assimus"

[James Steele]

Sting/Muta/Vampiro should be awesome. It is not. This is fucking awful in the ring and on commentary. Please let me go deaf soon.

[James Steele]

Muta and Vampiro turn on each other going for the pinfall. ICP gets off commentary to get them on same page. sting beats them with baseball bat and gets pinfall. Huge momentum going into title match tomorrow on NITRO. Dark carnival EXPLODES!!! SChivanie and Hudson back on commentary. 70s Man mike awesome promo now. He's in a bunkhouse brAwl with Jeff Jarrett. Gary Coleman is with Mike Awesome.

[James Steele]

Jarrett being a vintage heel. Wearing Tennessee titans jersey in buffalo, NY taunting Bills players a year or so after the "Music City Miracle". Apparently, Scott Hudson is a huge Buffalo Bills fans.

[James Steele]

Line of the night by Jarrett... "I can't help it that the Buffalo Bills suck ass." Jarrett spends 5 minutes riding the cheap heat football team gimmick. Damn, Jarrett threatened to kill mike awesome and the 70s.

[James Steele]

"Come as you are" Bunkhouse Brawl. Jarrett in jeans and a football jersey while Awesome is in tights and boots.

[James Steele]

Did I mention that Mark Madden is fucking atrocious?

[James Steele]

The bills players Jarrett has been shit talking to just jumped the rail. Jarrett is bumping like crazy. Madden using every buffalo bills joke he knows twice.

[James Steele]

This is now a buffalo bills lumberjack bunkhouse brawl match according to Scott Hudson.

[James Steele]

GARY COLEMAN RUN-IN!!!! Low blow by Gary Coleman.

[James Steele]

EL KABONG ON GARY COLEMAN!!!

STING RUNS IN NOW TOO!!!! Awesome wins after scorpion death drop.

[James Steele]

Next up, heel Goldberg vs babyface Scott Steiner. Both men attacked the others girlfriend.

[James Steele]

Apparently Goldberg is a face despite jackhammering a woman through a table.

[James Steele]

Steiner promo with Okurland delivered. Okurland called Steiner a crazy bastard. Okurland has said bastard like 10 times tonight.

[James Steele]

How is Goldberg the face and Steiner the heel? Goldberg jackhammered Midajah through a table and Steiner fights Goldberg because he "cares about his freaks".

[James Steele]

Steiner wearing a black s&m broken nose mask thanks to Goldberg breaking his face with a lead pipe.

[James Steele]

Goldberg is the face. Steiner brings tigers to the ring with him on Thunder, and he's the heel?

[James Steele]

Announcers putting over how Steiner is willing himself through this match in spite of a broken face. Again, Steiner is the heel...I think.

[James Steele]

Vince Russo runs in and attacks Goldberg. A good hoss vs hoss match is ruined.

[James Steele]

Goldberg is making a comeback from a steel pipe attack, being slammed through a table, and the Steiner Recliner. Making Cena look like Brooklyn Brawler right now.

[James Steele]

Goldberg now being beaten with a baseball bat and a steel pipe. Super belly to belly suplex...and Goldberg still kicked out. Sweet Jesus....

[James Steele]

Goldberg fights out of the Steiner recliner again!

[James Steele]

Goldberg counters a chairshot into a neckbreaker. Russo runs in again. Steiner beats him with a lead pipe and puts him in Steiner recliner. GOLDBERG IS KO'd. Steiner wins and avenges his freaks who got jackhammered through a table.

[James Steele]

Next up, World Title Steel Cage Match: Booker T. Vs Kevin Nash (c).

Michael Buffer introductions. Buffer says that Nash is the undisputed greatest big man in the history of pro wrestling.

[James Steele]

WCW's steel cage looks weird.

[James Steele]

Announcers make note of Nash wearing outsiders singlet and not his normal NASH singlet. The wonder if Scott hall is around.

[James Steele]

Apparently, Kevin Nash demanded they use the smaller cage instead of the larger cage/HIAC ripoff cage.

Orndorff only had a stinger. Thank god.

[James Steele]

After real life update on Orndorff by Hudson, madden makes a joke about a medical update on Vince Russo.

[James Steele]

Good little match so far.

[James Steele]

KEVIN NASH IS DONNING THE CRIMSON MASK!!!

[James Steele]

Booker T. Countered jackknife into a bookend. Booker T wins title and faces sting tomorrow for the belt. Scott Hudson had an orgasm.

[James Steele]

Good PPV. 2 Hs out of 3.

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Mark Madden is probably the worst commentator in wrestling history. No idea how anybody in WCW thought he was good, especially considering he essentially replaced Bobby Heenan who got relegated to Thunder. How the fuck do you relegate BOBBY FUCKING HEENAN to the B-show?</font>

[James Steele]

Watching WCW Sin 2001. It's not entirely bad, it's just a clusterfuck. The penalty box match and the "first blood/chain ladder match" are examples of this.

[FourFifty]

Do that one WCW ppv Hogan & Savage vs EVERYONE in a triple stacked cage.

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>lol Uncensored 1996. Actually watched that match last week cause I had the weird desire to watch a total clusterfuck. I didn't even realize the cage wasn't set up over the regular ring and that they set up a different ring near the entry way solely for that match. I'm sure half the audience couldn't see shit.</font>

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

SNMEs coming tomorrow.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

I was watching WCW PPVs but couldn't get past where they stopped putting Bobby Heenan on the PPVs.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Are we talking about the live stream or whatever watching now?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

GAB 2000 on the live stream. Just saw Reid Flair give the DX chop to Vince Russo. RIP Reid.

[Corndad]

SNMEs coming tomorrow.

:drool::drool::drool::drool::drool::drool:

[FourFifty]

Sin 2001
So, they edited out Sid's injury.

[Innovator]

You're a sick bastard

[Heisenberg]

Props to 2000 Big Show for having a big speaker fall on his leg and cinderblock broke over his head while getting jumped by Bull Buchanan, Big Bossman, T&A etc. during his match with Shane O' Mac. I always enjoyed their feuds.

[Droford]

I watched the first two Saturday Nights Main Events having never seen them before, but to be honest they were pretty terrible. I'm still scratching my head on the Uncle Elmer wedding thing.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Props to 2000 Big Show for having a big speaker fall on his leg and cinderblock broke over his head while getting jumped by Bull Buchanan, Big Bossman, T&A etc. during his match with Shane O' Mac. I always enjoyed their feuds.

WHICH WAY HE DID GO?!

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Watching Countdown and trying not to be pissed about the logic of the order of things listed. Beers help.

[The Condor]

Main Event of WCW Uncensored '99 is perversely entertaining. First blood cage match between Flair and Hogan. Flair says "cunt" a few times.

[James Steele]

The new episode of WM Rewind isn't just one of CM Punk's MITB wins, but BOTH of his MITB wins.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Wonder how far ahead they have made these. Been great seeing Punk in WWE stuff on these documentaries.

[Droford]

The best part of Wrestlemania rewind is I get to hear Gary Throne.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

He says entertainment weird.

[Droford]

He's probably drunk when he does the recording. He says a lot of words/names weirdly.

[Fignuts]

Anyone catch the Monday Night Wars preview episode last night?

Pissed it's not on demand, but whatever.

[Cuse8]

<font color=goldenrod>lol Uncensored 1996. Actually watched that match last week cause I had the weird desire to watch a total clusterfuck. I didn't even realize the cage wasn't set up over the regular ring and that they set up a different ring near the entry way solely for that match. I'm sure half the audience couldn't see shit.</font>

this match was the biggest cluster i think wcw ever produced. wrestlers had no proper footing and couldnt even stand up right. its all basically punches and walking their opponent to the cage to slam their head against it

[Anybody Thrilla]

Just started a Raw from 1993 with Randy Savage v. Doink as the main event.

The Steiner Brothers are taking on Barry Horowitz and Duane Gill in the opener. No clue who's going to win this. Early Gillberg was vicious.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Scott Steiner looked so much less ridiculous.

Scott pins Gill with the Frankensteiner, and everyone is completely shocked at this huge upset.

UP NEXT: A segment called "Who is Lex Luger?"

[Anybody Thrilla]

And the answer appears to be "a douche bag"

[Anybody Thrilla]

Adam Bomb (w/ Johnny Polo) vs. Some dude named Tony or something. This can't be good.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Tony Roy. Roy.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Did Adam Bomb have to eat a popsicle before each match to get his tongue all red like that? Sweet job.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Adam Bomb wins. No one cares.

HERE COMES DOINK THE CLOWN! He has a unicycle, but he's not riding it. Just carrying it.

Savage enters next in some very patriotic attire. The arena becomes unglued.

I think this might actually be pretty good.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Savage has dedicated this match to Crush. Was there a storyline reason that Savage and Crush were friends?

Smart move to start the match as the Macho Man checks under the ring to make sure there weren't any extra Doinks in hiding.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Doink is playing a special brand of a CONFIDENT chickenshit heel. Intriguing to watch.

[Anybody Thrilla]

What the fuck...

Savage crawls under the ring, and out from the other side crawls a midget Macho Man. How do I not remember this?

Savage wins with a roll up off the distraction.

[Anybody Thrilla]

http://webpages.charter.net/cowgirltoffee/macho-miget.jpg

Apparently it was the same dude who would later become Dink. Interesting.

[Anybody Thrilla]

They're running down the Summerslam card. Might watch that next for the fuck of it.

[Anybody Thrilla]

The card boasts a Giant Gonzalez v. Undertaker "Rest in Peace" match.

I definitely will not be watching that.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Oh snap, Jim Cornette's debut. Heenan is apparently a huge fan.