WWE Raw 8/4 Thread featuring Heisenberg, some artistic combat, and Invisible Cena

[KIRA]

But it's only $9.99

*dryly*And just look at the quality programing you'll be paying for (see previous match)

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

BO WINS!

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Truth now is free to join the new BONATION of BOMINATION

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

The Fake Bray ringside is happy his fake brother won.

[Heisenberg]

I BOlieve

[slik]

It has been forever since someone in WWE won via a handful of tights.

I hope next week BO puts his feet on the ropes for leverage.

[KIRA]

So if the WWE network tanks where does that leave Vince cause it seems like they are in dire need of subscriptions.

[Simple Fan]

Randy is gonna bring the punt to the head back for Ray Guy going into the football hall of fame

[slik]

Hope at SummerSlam BO pulls a foreign object out his tights and hits his opponent with it to score the win.

[road doggy dogg]

lol good joke gwen stefani

[Lock Jaw]

http://i.imgur.com/oyFOLZr.gif (http://wrestlingwithtext.com/my-brief-and-uninsightful-recap/wwt-live-short-wwe-raw-2014-8-4)

[Lock Jaw]

$9.99

[road doggy dogg]

@RKO/TDK gif: lol @ Orton's head tilting up right at the end before the close-up

[KIRA]

I cannot believe how hard they are shilling this thing

the real star tonight was the WWE Network.......only 9.99

[road doggy dogg]

actually I don't know who that is that is blowing him, I just assumed it was THE DEMON KANE

[slik]

9.99
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[Simple Fan]

new drinking game on mondays every time the wwe network for 9.99 a month is mentioned take a drink

[Dark One]

Brock Lesnar should do sit down interviews like this for every one of his matches.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

new drinking game on mondays every time the wwe network for 9.99 a month is mentioned take a drink

That's not a new drinking game.

[KIRA]

I'm sure the WWE network's ass has prolapsed the way they've been pimping it all over this show.

For 9.99

[GD]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BuPeoGsIUAAtOTx.jpg

[KIRA]

That's not a new drinking game.

its suicide

[Emperor Smeat]

actually I don't know who that is that is blowing him, I just assumed it was THE DEMON KANE

Reigns

[Lock Jaw]

RVD in the main event.... sorry Heisenberg.....

[slik]

It's actually $10.89 that they charge you. #Surprise

[GD]

Seth Rollins is beating Dean Ambrose in the "beat the clock" challenge as there are only 14 minutes left for the show to end.

[Simple Fan]

That's not a new drinking game.

Well if anyones playing tonight they might have to run to the liquor store

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

The emergency room.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Ladies and gentleman this is your main event.

[GD]

Rollins' theme is sheer garbage.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Except for the bitches signing a piece of paper.

[KIRA]

WHHHOOOOO!!!!

YEAH!

[el bobbo]

WHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SLATER BABBBBYYYYYYYYY!!!!

[Fenix122]

Heath Slater for the win

[Dark One]

I mean, Heath Slater eliminated Cesaro. There's a chance Rollins could lose here.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

SLATORGATOR!

[dronepool]

RVD got screwed

[el bobbo]

Slater gets the main event for RAW. I am fucking psyched. I think he'll pull it off.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

SLATOR IS GONNA WIN BAAAAAYYYBEEEE

[dronepool]

http://i60.tinypic.com/e05ycj.jpg

[Poit]

No Titus O'Neil :(

[Corndad]

Heath Slater is in the Main Event of Raw guys.

[Lock Jaw]

Yes!! RAW saved from RVD!

[Dark One]

Maybe this'll be the time where someone wins Beat the Clock by getting their rival's opponent a win by DQ within the first minute.

[KIRA]

Where is Gertner he would be masturbating to this

Slater in the main event!

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

It's not empty at all.

[Savio]

Where is Gertner?

[Corndad]

Popcorn lol

[GD]

Dean Ambrose disrespecting the prestigious Money in the Bank briefcase. For the love of GOD! Somebody stop him!

[Corndad]

HAHAHAHAHA SLATER WINS!!!!!

[el bobbo]

SLATER WINS

[Savio]

SLATER WINS THE MAINEVENT OF RAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[KIRA]

i just died

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

WE'RE A 3 MANNNN BAANDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[Poit]

Slater wins the main event of Raw!

[GD]

SLATER WINS! SLATER WINS! SLATER WINS! BAH GAWD! HE'S BROKEN IN HALF! THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THERE! BAH GAWD! SLATER WINS!

[Corndad]

Justin Roberts is losing it.

[Lock Jaw]

SLATER WINS! SLATER WINS! SLATER WINS!!

[Simple Fan]

Slater wins awsome

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Justin Roberts Corpsing?

SEND FOR THE MAN!

[Dark One]

LONG LIVE THE TITTYMASTER.

[Corndad]

3 man band... BA----BAY!

[Dark One]

All right, so, again, for posterity I just want to post this so it's archived somewhere:

Tonight on Raw, Heath Slater won the last match and Brie Bella and Stephanie in a contract signing is main eventing to close the show.

[KIRA]

3 MAAAANNN BAAAAAAANNND! :heart::love:

[MIZantine Empire]

All right, so, again, for posterity I just want to post this so it's archived somewhere:

Tonight on Raw, Heath Slater won the last match and Brie Bella and Stephanie in a contract signing is main eventing to close the show.

Apparently we are in a glitch in the matrix where raw is watched in reverse order. I posted this from my tpww network app which I got for under $10!

[Dark One]

Pretty sure the reason they had Kane take the mask off is that if they're going to say "9.99" this many times, they won't have enough time to fit in thirty "DEMON KANE"

[Lock Jaw]

#StephsLegs

[Corndad]

Holy REDDDDDDDDD

[Savio]

Wow brie looks terrible tonight

[Theo Dious]

I can't believe that two Raws in a row are ending with non-wrestling segments featuring a pair of cunts.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

brie mode.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=brie%20mode

[el bobbo]

So much talk of the WWE Network, yet I am not renewing my subscription...

[MIZantine Empire]

I can't believe that two Raws in a row are ending with non-wrestling segments featuring a pair of cunts.

It's better if you pretend they are going to do butt - stuff with each other on that table

[Theo Dious]

It's better if you pretend they are going to do butt - stuff with each other on that table

No it isn't.

[Dark One]

I can't believe that two Raws in a row are ending with non-wrestling segments featuring a pair of cunts.

I mean, I'm sure the Miz and Alex Riley ended a few Raws back in 2011.

[Corndad]

It's kind of annoying for those who already have it, and are planning to renew anyways.

[MIZantine Empire]

No it isn't.

Did u try on mute? I can see sound being a mood killer lol

[Corndad]

I can't believe that two Raws in a row are ending with non-wrestling segments featuring a pair of cunts.

Trish and Lita are on line one for you... Line one.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Big Beulah McGillaslutty.

[Lock Jaw]

Not only am I going to beach you, I'm going to embarass you.

[Innovator]

Brie stole Nakamura's pants

[GD]

Are we going to hear "bitch" in this segment?

[Corndad]

I would cry if she said she was gonna make her vomit

[Theo Dious]

Trish and Lita are on line one for you... Line one.

When did they close out two in a row?

[Corndad]

CM Punk chant LOL

[GD]

Big Beulah makes a surprise appearance at SummerSlam, Stephanie McMahon gets distracted, Brie wins with a rollup.

[Dark One]

Are we going to hear "bitch" in this segment?

Figured karma was going to be a bitch.

[MIZantine Empire]

I guess "brie mode" stands for cheesy.. sweet disses #bigbeulah

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Whoever decided Brie Bella needs to get a lot of mic time should really be out of a job. I shudder to imagine the promos when the inevitable Nikki heel turn happens and we get them arguing back and forth.</font>

[Innovator]

Steph makes a lot of sense

[Savio]

Nikki will turn on Brie at Summer Slam

[Emperor Smeat]

Steph makes a lot of sense

Yeup

[Savio]

maybe not

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Yapppaddaooo

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

or not

[Dark One]

Triple H is a great COO.

[Innovator]

A+ Pedigree

[Corndad]

Nikki will turn on Brie at Summer Slam

This.

[Lock Jaw]

Brie not trying too hard to get out.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Stephigree.

[Dark One]

Steph is phenomenal.

[Innovator]

I'm gonna say it, she does it better than Trips

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Steph rape kisses Triple H.

[rockman725]

Mega props to Steph for doing that without knee pads

[Evil Vito]

maybe not

<font color=goldenrod>Nah she pretty obviously will. Part of the "master plan!"

The promos between Brie and Nikki are going to be so bad.</font>

[KIRA]

Lets just Take Heath Fucking Slater in THE MAIN EVENT WINNING and call it a good ending.

[Savio]

Nah she pretty obviously will. Part of the "master plan!"

The promos between Brie and Nikki are going to be so bad.The pedigree wont makes sense but....that hasn't stopped WWE before.

[Corndad]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>I'm waiting for Triple H to say &quot;there's always a plan Double D...&quot; before Nikki turns on Brie. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RawAustin?src=hash">#RawAustin</a></p>&mdash; Big Nasty (@ThisIsNasty) <a href="https://twitter.com/ThisIsNasty/statuses/496492075769016320">August 5, 2014</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Corndad]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BuPlWXuIAAA6zXl.jpg

[Innovator]

Heath Slater won THE main event of RAW

[Sepholio]

Plan D-cup.

[Droford]

Stephanie (c) vs Charlotte at WM 31

need another McMahon vs Flair match

[Simple Fan]

Whats up with ending shows without a match the last two weeks both wwe and tna have had lack luster endings due to that.

[mhirn3]

Didnt catch much of the show, but why did it end with a bland contract signing?

Loved the Ambrose part with the briefcase.....I bet it will suck to carry that through the airport for Rollins haha

[Lock Jaw]

I will come out and say that I am excited for the Stephanie McMahon/Brie Bella match.

[FourFifty]

Heath Slater beat Seth Rollins...
words.... fail.... me....

[FourFifty]

Triple H cornered Brie, physically restraining her, while Stephanie hit the pedigree on Nicki Bella.

Be a star, kids. Be a star.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Triple H cornered Brie, physically restraining her, while Stephanie hit the pedigree on Nicki Bella.

Be a star, kids. Be a star.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/uw5P2up5bL4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[James Steele]

I'm excited about Brock/Cena.

[Bad News Gertner]

Best Raw in history

[Bad News Gertner]

Heath Slater beat Seth Rollins...
words.... fail.... me....

Suck it jew

[Heisenberg]

I got turned on last night watching Steph pedigree those two.

Very awkward and great show last night.

I wasn't pleased with the people I sat by, they were obese and made it seem like I was an inconvience whenever I had to move by them. Seriously, the lady of the obese stable dropped her phone and waited 2 matches until she attempted to get it off the ground.

[Heisenberg]

I was seen on the Tron during the Bo Dallas entrance per sources. I was probably marking out so that's ok. It was during a part where these guys were holding some Bo sign.

[Innovator]

I looked for you during the WE THE PEOPLE, thought they would pan the camera to you losing your shit

[drave]

I'll see if I can spot you on my Tuesday 90 minute action packed Hulu edition. Fuck cable and/or streams.

[Heisenberg]

Heath Slater was a little bit too over last night, not a bad thing, just surprised since the crowd was mostly in kayfabe during the Authority segments

[Innovator]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Please..... Don't Sleep on Slater... I love proving people wrong.. Thanks <a href="https://twitter.com/WWEUniverse">@WWEUniverse</a> for the support.. Woooo I will slate!!!!!</p>&mdash; Heath Slater (@HeathSlaterOMRB) <a href="https://twitter.com/HeathSlaterOMRB/statuses/496514650607853569">August 5, 2014</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[Innovator]

I sat down to watch it on my DVR at 10:45, caught up live around 11:03 after watching and rewatching Slater's triumphant main event victory

[Volare]

Slater made me mark as Hard as CM Punk starting the 434 day reign as champion on my birthday.

[Bad News Gertner]

MasterSlaters unite!

[Innovator]

http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/jbl-9-99.png?w=650&h=405

GO INTERNET GO!



http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/jbl-dickbutt.jpg?w=650

http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/jbl-mexicans.jpg?w=650

http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/r4g3cws.jpg?w=650

http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/juiorca.png?w=650

http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/kpdq3zj.jpg?w=650&h=487

[Shadrick]

This is really a hard feud to work with. Normally, I'd be all like USA USA USA, but I f'in hate Obama so I have to side with anyone who's against him, so yeah, I guess I'm supporting Russia? Wait, what? My head hurts.

Hate is an interesting word to use. Regardless, even if you disagree with politics, decisions, practices, etc, you understand the office.

You can be pro-USA and not be a supporter of the leader. It's very possible.

[erickman]

Heath Slater won THE main event of RAW

guess he will get released next week

[Innovator]

Guess he will main event Night of Champions.

The Beast vs. The Band

[FourFifty]

When Adam Rose was looking into the mirror to see himself as a lemon, I was sure it was either going to be CJ Parker, Tyler Breeze, or Leo Kruger.

[drave]

$9.99

[Heisenberg]

http://i.imgur.com/YZZaoLZ.jpg


Forgot this gem my friend took, it was by the front row where that good Bray Wyatt lookalike was at

[Bad News Gertner]

I bet he has a CM Punk on underneath

[Dark One]

I bet he has a CM Punk on underneath

Could probably fit at least seven CM Punks underneath that.

[Cool King]

http://i.imgur.com/YZZaoLZ.jpg


Forgot this gem my friend took, it was by the front row where that good Bray Wyatt lookalike was at

That must have been the guy I saw speeding around as Justin Roberts was explaining the stipulations of Seth Rollins' match.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/7wIKTya3YTw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

You see him at 1:30, coming in from the bottom left of the screen.

[Heisenberg]

You are correct, this person was driving around quite a bit, this was quite the scene plus a special needs guy being told by security to stop trashing JBL for a good amount of the show.

I was a little embarrassed with this crowd as I've been to Austin RAWs quite a bit and had good people there. This one from waiting outside to leaving was filled with troublesome creatures

[Heisenberg]

Not those two, but I had bad luck being around other people that had no reason or defect. I sat by a very obese family and they made it seem like a burden when I had to go to concessions and stuff.

I always expect the WWE fanbase to be kind to one another, but alas packing thousands into a dome brings out the demons

[XL]

Depends how many times you got up?

[Heisenberg]

Once, not counting the time I had to convey to them that I sat 6 seats into the row they were blocking up.

[Sepholio]

You should have come back from the concession stand with a sign that said #Thinspiration.

[Innovator]

Heisenberg and his fat shaming

[Heisenberg]

shaming them for being lazy and rude

[Big Vic]

I hate going to live events because of wrestling fans.

[drave]

I hate going to live events because of wrestling fans.

Alcohol makes it more fun.

[Innovator]

shaming them for being lazy and rude

Yup

[Heisenberg]

Was I supposed to take it or something? I could have punched one of them, but then I'd be out of the show

ADR was already backstage doing that

[Innovator]

Nah I think you were right.

Thinspiration

[Heisenberg]

People can be obese, that's their choice, but common courtesy is expected. :-)

[DAMN iNATOR]

WE'RE A 3 MANNNN BAANDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

If he's going to go back to just being a singles competitor they need to bring back his One Man Band theme.