WWE 4/20 RAW Thread sponsored by "Oh crap, we need a thread"

[Dark One]

Sup.

[Lock Jaw]

I really hope RVD doesn't return tonight

[Lock Jaw]

I get to cover a cage match on Friday.... will probably look terrible....

[Lock Jaw]

Sounds like Rollins' theme got slightly remixed...

[Volare]

Rollins' new finisher should be called Checkmate. Only makes sense after that promo.

[Volare]

Orton is a bad ass.

[Lock Jaw]

http://whatistheexcel.com/wooobooru/_images/cd180c1eb4a5f4749ca4be9c83f16ab3/1654%2520-%2520Diamond_Cutter%2520Kanyon%2520autoplay_gif%2520gif%2520wcw.gif

[Dark One]

Randy Orton not a fan of PG.

[Ruien]

Bulls game is on. Is anyone really watching this? o.O

[Volare]

rofl

[Volare]

Dean Fucking Ambrose is on so yes I am!

[ClockShot]

Ambrose should have just stuck with the anarchy symbol. Not work the letter D into it.

[Dark One]

Come on Lock Jaw, go all the way:

<iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="//www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xxhtga" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xxhtga_kanyon-cutter-montage_sport" target="_blank">Kanyon Cutter Montage</a> <i>by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/strobogo" target="_blank">strobogo</a></i>

[Wrestlemania]

Raw is shit, it used to be epic but now it's just SHIT!!!!.

[ClockShot]

Who's the new honey ring announcer?

[Dark One]

I like that Dean Ambrose found a way to refresh the jawbreaker lariat and use it on the outside. I'm not a huge fan of the move, but the outside-the-ring version is kind of cool.

[Wrestlemania]

BREAKING: RAW GET'S CANCELLED.....

[Volare]

...da faq?

[Simple Fan]

Bulls game is on. Is anyone really watching this? o.O

Watching Gotham now, speed through Raw

[Volare]

I'm between RAW and the Wild game.

[Dark One]

Raw is shit, it used to be epic but now it's just SHIT!!!!.

BREAKING: RAW GET'S CANCELLED.....

You're making a really convincing argument. Lots of evidence and well constructed points.

Allow me to offer a counterpoint:

http://i.imgur.com/fNqwxcx.gif

[Fignuts]

I'm with Darkone on this.

[Emperor Smeat]

Missed the first half hour, anything interesting happen?

[Dark One]

I mean, it's not like Byron Saxton is solo announcing, or JR/Kevin Kelly/Michael Cole. Or JR / Jim Cornette.

Listening to the commentary on the first Raw of the "Attitude Era Year" they added to the Network has made me--again, somehow--appreciate current commentary. Holy shit is it brutal.

[Poit]

Orton threatened to RKO Rollins by the end of the night.

... I think that's all so far.

[Dark One]

Missed the first half hour, anything interesting happen?

Seth and Randy Orton talked a bunch. Some threats. Your normal opening segment.

Ambrose and Harper had a pretty great short match that devolved into a brawl outside the ring until Harper fled, probably leading to a match at Extreme Rules.

[KIRA]

So New Day has every reason to go heel people hate them,I really hate them, what are they waiting for?

[Fignuts]

Does Harper even have a personality since breaking from Bray Wyatt? Does he even talk?

Seems fucking pointless to have him on his own when he and Wyatt are heels, and he's literally the same exact guy he was in the stable.

[Dark One]

Hahaha. Sick insight by JBL.

"When you're fighting a lucha, the key is to kick them in the mask, and the reason is because there's a head inside that mask."

[Corndad]

New Day lol

[Dark One]

So New Day has every reason to go heel people hate them,I really hate them, what are they waiting for?

There you go.

They're the black Bo Dallas now.

[KIRA]

Remember when Kingston was over and seemed to have Ortons number?

[ClockShot]

Orton on the RKO rampage tonight.


Haven't had one of those in a while.

[Poit]

The one night a year WWE goes extreme. Other than TLC, Hell in a Cell, etc.

[KIRA]

There you go.

They're the black Bo Dallas now.

I'm happier but only barely cause they won't get to do anything meaningful with it.
like 3MB without the charm

[loopydate]

You're making a really convincing argument. Lots of evidence and well constructed points.

Allow me to offer a counterpoint:

http://i.imgur.com/fNqwxcx.gif

BAH GAWD!!! DARK ONE WITH THE LESNAR EX MACHINA!!!!!

[Dark One]

A+ for remembering that from however many years ago.

[loopydate]

Well, I think we're the ones who created it. You never forget your own memes.

[Dark One]

That is correct.

If only a Lesnar Ex Machina could save us from the backyard fed posts, but even our Lord and Savior of the Suplex isn't that powerful.

[Emperor Smeat]

Remember when Kingston was over and seemed to have Ortons number?

WWE killed that feud off way too quickly. Kofi was good for like 2 weeks and then just fed to Orton. Don't even remember if they had a ppv match for the feud.

[ClockShot]

Fandango back to his old music. The hell's happened these last few weeks?

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: Axel

[ClockShot]

Music botch.

[Poit]

Brand vs. brand match :lol:

[Dark One]

Oops. They used his new--now old--music first.

[Savio]

Why is Axel losing to Fandango? Axel is more over than Fandango right now.

[Dark One]

I'm hoping they'll have Fandango keep going back in time until he returns to being Creepy Johnny Curtis.

http://i.imgur.com/uBsbh.gif

http://i.imgur.com/jIOOJ.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/pvTj8.gifhttp://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxz3axt7Ka1qaiim5o4_250.gif

[ClockShot]

Time for re-re-relaunch of Tough Enough announcement.

Wonder what it could be?

[Emperor Smeat]

Shouldn't the hashtag be #ToughEnoughReturns if this promo is just about Tough Enough

[Dark One]

Time for re-re-relaunch of Tough Enough announcement.

Wonder what it could be?

"We're bringing back Bob Holly! YOU'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD, KIDS."

[Dark One]

Shouldn't the hashtag be #ToughEnoughReturns if this promo is just about Tough Enough

#TripleTougHEnoughReturns

[KIRA]

On A side note its a little disheartening that the WWE just cannot get away from the evil corporate overlord angle.
In Nexus was as close as they've come in recent memory

[ClockShot]

Tell that to Maven, Trips.

[Savio]

#GiveMoreThan5WomenAChance

[ClockShot]

10 guys, 5 girls.

Oh man, there will be anarchy.

[Corndad]

On A side note its a little disheartening that the WWE just cannot get away from the evil corporate overlord angle.
In Nexus was as close as they've come in recent memory

Miss the Nexus. Especially at the start of it. So Unexpected. Made stars instantly. Unfortunately by SummerSlam it was pretty much squashed Cena style.

[Dark One]

TNA-level "earth shattering" announcement there.

[KIRA]

WWE just seems like such a meat grinder sometimes

something about the way they dangle opportunity just disturbs me

[ClockShot]

Kane...........quitting?

Unexpected.

[Corndad]

WE COULD HAVE MADE EL TORITO CHAMPION HAHAHAHA

[Poit]

Poor El Torito. :(

[Dark One]

He tucked his leg between his legs.

[Volare]

EL TORITO AS CHAMPION!!

[KIRA]

Kane is so alpha on the mic when he wants to be

[Savio]

#ElToritoForChamp

[Emperor Smeat]

On A side note its a little disheartening that the WWE just cannot get away from the evil corporate overlord angle.
In Nexus was as close as they've come in recent memory

They teased one for the Nexus before suddenly dropping it with all the higher power talk Barrett did for a while.

[ClockShot]

"Guardian of the Gate"?!

Someone must have watched "Guardians of the Galaxy" recently.

*coughcoughVincecoughcough*

[Dark One]

How many stipulations are they going to layer on to this match?

[Poit]

Paige is "taken out of action"? What the balls.

[Volare]

Naomi looked ok in that neon leopard print.

[Simple Fan]

Just started Raw, Orton saying he was gonna RKO every son of a bitch he sees, I hope happens

[KIRA]

"Guardian of the Gate"?!

Someone must have watched "Guardians of the Galaxy" recently.

*coughcoughVincecoughcough*

I doubt it

Vince's movie watching seems to just barely crack the 1960s

[Dark One]

Gotta go make a shitty movie and kill her momentum. Classic WWE.

Paige: #100000 in the box office, #1 in our hearts.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B-BGx-dIQAA2pK6.jpg:large

[Corndad]

So are the Bellas faces again or what?

[KIRA]

She doesn't have the swagger to be a heel replace her with a real superstar

Alicia

[Dark One]

Just going to assume they're going to give Naomi Victoria's old "Ain't the Lady to Mess With" theme.

[Emperor Smeat]

So is Brie a face now?

[Poit]

No, I think this is just a heel vs. heel match.

[Dark One]

So are the Bellas faces again or what?

So is Brie a face now?

For this week? Sure.

[KIRA]

why can't naomi just be a really aggressive face that would be a nice change

[Emperor Smeat]

For this week? Sure.

Guess so with the crowd being on her side.

[Dark One]

Guess so with the crowd being on her side.

Also, you know, it turns out you can't make someone nobody cares about and that hasn't really had a character other than "married to an Uso" for like a year into somebody people care about just by having her beat up someone people do care about.

[KIRA]

Hey he said everyone bystanders don't count?

[Emperor Smeat]

Zack Ryder is going to be pissed. Randy destroyed part of the catering area.

[Dark One]

Orton going full Kanyon.

Also, Heath Slater and Erick Rowan should form SLATER SHEEP.

[OssMan]

Omg... it's haggening... KANE reverting to hellfire and brimstone KANE......

[Dark One]

Omg... it's haggening... KANE reverting to hellfire and brimstone KANE......

Demons don't put in two week notices.

[KIRA]

I can't bo lieve it!

[Lock Jaw]

BOMAN REIGNS!!!

[Emperor Smeat]

http://i.imgur.com/KHbt2ap.gif

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Tried to stick it out but this show is so fucking boring.

I'll give the PPV a shot, hopefully it'll be one of those shows that surprises in spite of shit build like many of the ones in mid-2014.</font>

[Poit]

Bo Dallas with the cheap Episode 1 heat.

[Emperor Smeat]

Bo looks weird with a goatee.

[Poit]

I think he looks a bit more like his brother.

[Droford]

Cole calling Fandango Curtis was amusing

[Dark One]

Tim Tebow of the WWE lol

[Dark One]

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/564961761204637697/Wjax5dIw.jpeg

[OssMan]

fuck Heath Slater

[Dark One]

Oh boy. Roman Reigns and Big Show in a match with a stip that requires them to take turns standing around.

http://i.imgur.com/rhVGUrY.gif

[Corndad]

Oh Ryder. Just turn around now.

[Dark One]

Zack Ryder is going to be pissed. Randy destroyed part of the catering area.

It's about to get worse.

[Dark One]

http://wrestlingonearth.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/ryder-wheelchair-death.gif

[Corndad]

Sheamus is SO much better as a heel.

[Corndad]

This would be a 1 2 3 kid moment if Ryder wins this.

[Corndad]

...or not.

[Corndad]

Zach Ryder will make a great living on Indy Shows in 6 months.

[Maluco]

Sheamus is great, have him take the IC title off Bryan now!

[OssMan]

Seamus kicking Zach Ryder's @$$

[OssMan]

john cena holds up a towel that say "never give up"

john cena: "always, always, always"

[Emperor Smeat]

Russian Chain match sounds way less interesting now that it got explained.

[KIRA]

Waiting to see what hideous abomination Cena turns that belt into.

that message is YOU CAN(NOT) ADVANCE

points to whoever gets that reference.

[OssMan]

if heath slater doesn't appear again on this monday night raw... does that mean he went there just to be filmed getting RKO through a table backstage... or did they film that at another day

[OssMan]

CHOKE SAM

[Dark One]

Thank God he was choking him with a chain and not a tie.

[Dark One]

That still image is not okay.

[Emperor Smeat]

Makes sense why they didn't bother to put this on ppv.


:lol: random RKO.

[Dark One]

Just going to repost this for the Summer Rae turn.

Also, you know, it turns out you can't make someone nobody cares about and that hasn't really had a character <strike>other than "married to an Uso" for like a year</strike> into somebody people care about just by having her beat up someone people do care about.

[Dark One]

Also:

http://i.imgur.com/qUq6z1C.gif

[#1-norm-fan]

lol Gonna need a pic of Miz' face after that RKO.

[#1-norm-fan]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CDFRXpNUsAAUNCL.jpg

RIP Miz

Killed by an RKO out of nowhere.

[Droford]

Maryse should have come back

[Dark One]

I like Bray Wyatt, really, I do.

But I just tune out all of his promos now because they basically build to nothing, and that sucks. You can't do mysterious, cryptic pre-recorded backstage promos for six months without a real target. Sure, the Undertaker was finally named--for like a few weeks--but what now?

[#1-norm-fan]

WWE has successfully made me not care about Bray Wyatt. There is no intimidation factor anymore. He has no aura. The "new face of fear" would carry some weight if he wasn't a big fat loser who shouldn't really strike fear into anyone.

[tman220]

Roman Reigns

[Dark One]

FINALLY! FOOD FIGHTS BACK AGAINST BIG HUNGRY.

[Emperor Smeat]

I like Bray Wyatt, really, I do.

But I just tune out all of his promos now because they basically build to nothing, and that sucks. You can't do mysterious, cryptic pre-recorded backstage promos for six months without a real target. Sure, the Undertaker was finally named--for like a few weeks--but what now?

Thought its been obvious who he's facing soon.

http://i.imgur.com/KHbt2ap.gif

To be serious, completely agree. Hasn't been the same since the Cena feud last year.

[#1-norm-fan]

Ryback: The King of the Anti-joke

[Dark One]

What the fuck is going on.

Ryback just Shellshocked a banana and a hotdog, then asked "What did the banana say to the hot dog?" and then Rosa showed up to console Adam Rose.

I know it's the 4/20 Raw and all, but how fucking high is the writing team?

[Dark One]

How fucking high am I? Is this real life?

[Dark One]

Hahahaha. "Private conversation" on Twitter. Subtle reference to his little Twitter debacle.

And by "little Twitter debacle" I mean his penis.

[KIRA]

lot of swearing on this show mild but it's there

[Lock Jaw]

Wish Cole would stop saying that in the Sheamus/Ziggler match that the loser will "Kiss My Arse" of the winner.

I know it is a "Kiss My Arse" match, but when describing the stipulations, one must take into account the pronouns. Should be "kiss the arse" of the winner.

[Dark One]

Wish Cole would stop saying that in the Sheamus/Ziggler match that the loser will "Kiss My Arse" of the winner.

I know it is a "Kiss My Arse" match, but when describing the stipulations, one must take into account the pronouns. Should be "kiss the arse" of the winner.

Loser will actually have to kiss Michael Cole's ass, which is probably even a little worse than the other two possible outcomes.

[KIRA]

Ziggler in the main event?

[KIRA]

What the hell was that?

[Dark One]

Yeah, that finisher looks like shit compared to the Curb Stomp.

[Corndad]

Miss the Curb Stomp already.

[Poit]

Can't he just use the Skywalker again?

[Corndad]

Orton under the ring

[Emperor Smeat]

At least no worries about Rollins getting impaled this time with the cage coming down.

[Dark One]

Can't he just use the Skywalker again?

I don't really buy that as a main event finisher. Too convoluted and "assisted."

Probably better than whatever the fuck that swinging, falling forward, DDT-kinda thing that was, though.

[Poit]

That was, at least, a pretty awesome RKO.

[KIRA]

Avada Kadavra Seth C'MON

That finisher was like the bastard of the double arm ddt and the implant buster

[Dark One]

You can definitely feel the void of the "part timers" we had in the months leading up to Wrestlemania. Triple H calling out Sting to respond to him calling him out to respond to his calling out a few weeks before may have been kind of silly, but it's been replaced by Bo Dallas getting superman punched and Fandango beating Curtis Axel.

So.

[Lock Jaw]

So Rollins new finisher is Dean Ambrose's finisher but with only one arm?

[Emperor Smeat]

Rollins should just stick with the turnbuckle powerbomb as his finisher since the Curb Stomp is gone.

Better yet, should have done something storyline-wise to get the move banned instead of doing it OUTTA NOWHERE.

[Lock Jaw]

http://i.imgur.com/4VEVrNy.gif (http://wrestlingwithtext.com/my-brief-and-uninsightful-recap/wwt-live-short-wwe-raw-2015-04-20)

[Lock Jaw]

http://i.imgur.com/Dbfffnl.gif (http://wrestlingwithtext.com/my-brief-and-uninsightful-recap/wwt-live-short-wwe-raw-2015-04-20)

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Just saw a GIF of Rollins' finisher. Fucking lame.

And did I read it right that he still does the turnbuckle powerbomb right before it? So now instead of taking the move and winding up face down on the ground as they have for months, the opponents will conveniently now remain standing and stumble into the move. Awful.</font>

[Simple Fan]

Man I thought we would get way more RKOs. He should have had 5 in the first hour.

[Simple Fan]

The turnbuckle powerbomb seem more dangerous than a curb stomp.

[Dark One]

Here's the "I don't know what, but I can't buy this being a long term replacement," which is still a better name than "the kick that won Del Rio a world championship."

http://i.imgur.com/5WW9ucd.gif

It looks like they told him like six hours before showtime "Hey, don't ever do the Curb Stomp again" and he had to come up with something.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Could have used Skywalker or Avada Kadvera.

[Lock Jaw]

Looked up what the "Skywalker" is... and it is Kallisto's finisher.

Looked up "Avada Kadavera" move and there are like 17 guys who do it as a normal move.

[Heisenberg]

oh shit, 4 pages

somebody call Vince, he's going to fire someone.

Joan Rivers kicked a lot of ass in Spaceballs

[Dark One]

Still kind of pissed about the Curb Stomp being banned. It's a phenomenal move for an oppotunistic douchebag heel, since it takes advantage of a guy being down and can strike quickly. Sure, it "smashes" someone's head into the mat, but so do DDTs, and how many of those have we seen over the past FOREVER? The new move sure does drive someone's head into the mat theoretically too.

It's just such a shit move to do. You have a guy with a great, over, great-looking finisher trying to get over as world champion, and you cut his balls off by banning the finisher? Come on.

[Fignuts]

Really cool aerial moves aren't a great fit for a cowardly heel.

[Dark One]

But it's a great move for a cowardly heel to use to sneak in and take someone out when they're down.

[Dark One]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>There's a reason I'm the co-star of <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Marine4?src=hash">#Marine4</a>....I'm an amazing actress!

<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RAW?src=hash">#RAW</a></p>&mdash; Summer Rae (@RealSummerWWE) <a href="https://twitter.com/RealSummerWWE/status/590343847978344448">April 21, 2015</a></blockquote> <script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

https://whatistheexcel.com/wooobooru/_images/93348430f3ea5ad55a3a7da9f20020fa/1502%20-%20autoplay_gif%20crying%20gif%20glasses%20nxt%20percy_watson%20wwe.gif?