Dark One Goes to Raw: 2/6 Raw Thread

[Jordan]

Cannot stop staring. The physics don't make sense.

Upload a pic dude come on it's the internet

[Jordan]

That was a great promo

[Lock Jaw]

HHH with an awkward pause in this video package

"Seth Rollins wants to come"













"Where I am creating"

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Triple H doing a great promo isn't news though.

[Jordan]

Dark one I think you got lucky with this raw

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

This package is great. It is the Total Package.

[Jordan]

Every Raw I've been to ended in an angle

[Dark One]

We couldn't hear the Rollins update. Anything?

[Lock Jaw]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CgsYa0lWYAAgQNz.jpg

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Every Raw I've been to ended in an angle

Two of my shows ended in Angle.

[Jordan]

Hoping for something interesting... More like Same of Shit Day

[Jordan]

We couldn't hear the Rollins update. Anything?

No

[Jordan]

Take a live shot dude of course I've seen that pic

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

GET OUT THERE WOODS! Wear that PATS SWAG BITCH

[Triple A]

We couldn't hear the Rollins update. Anything?

They just said "As a result of Joe's attack, Seth Rollins tore his MCL and his participation in WrestleMania is in serious doubt."

I hope that wasn't the only update... like no info

[Emperor Smeat]

Why can't they honor black wrestlers?!

They did it a few times and usually showed how bad the WWE has been when it comes to producing really big African American stars on their own.

[Jordan]

It is fucking ridiculous that they can't get a black talent they want to push.

[Jordan]

Big E should be the one to break through they just need to get past this

[Emperor Smeat]

New Day would go down as the greatest WWE team ever if they brought back WWE Ice Cream bars. Something not even Punk nor Vince could do in recent years.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Tag team of the year buddy.

[Dark One]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CgsYa0lWYAAgQNz.jpg

Fair representation, but even more impressive in person. Pictures don't do it justice.

[KIRA]

I'm betting New Day makes a killing in merch sales

[Jordan]

Tag team of the year buddy.

Yeah no doubt but WWE needs a black main event star. You have to have diversity to have mass appeal.

[Dark One]

We Want Ice Cream chant during the break.

[slik]

dark one @

hey!

[Lock Jaw]

Fair representation, but even more impressive in person. Pictures don't do it justice.

What about Big E's ass

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Yeah no doubt but WWE needs a black main event star. You have to have diversity to have mass appeal.

Apollo Crews if he can stop fucking smiling like Noelle Foley.

[Dark One]

What about Big E's ass

He got that thigh meat.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

This match lasted longer than a commercial break? The fuck.

[Jordan]

Who is the worker of the night so far dark one?

[Lock Jaw]

Why does New Day have the TNA owl on their gear.......

[Triple A]

why does this match have a 2 minute rest hold

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Can you ask "James Ellsworth" why he took a photo of Enzo's Ass?

[Jordan]

lol they did the owl first cause they do "woo woo woo"

[Lock Jaw]

For me to go get a snack

[Jordan]

Nice suplex from Primo!

[Dark One]

Who is the worker of the night so far dark one?

Tozawa. Not much to choose from though.

[Jordan]

Byron is just there to be disagreed with and made to look stupid, not all his fault.

[Triple A]

this match feels so so so long

[Jordan]

Snug work in this one

[Emperor Smeat]

Primo channeling his inner Rock with that selling of the missile dropkick.

[Jordan]

That splash should be a finish

[Lock Jaw]

this match feels so so so long

New Day segments/matches seem to drag on forever these days.......

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: at someone trying to not fall asleep in the post-match random crowd shot. Either that or she was trying to blink to New Day's theme.

[Lock Jaw]

Feel like RAW should have had the Chamber, and SD have Fastlane.......

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Raw is our mortal enemy but here is the main event of their PPV.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Charly Caruso!

[Ruien]

Did they do the update on Rollins yet?

[Lock Jaw]

Charly Caruso!

Hot braud

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Cole already did. Look through the thread AAA posted what Cole said.

[Dark One]

Crowd ignoring this Wrestlemania video package except to boo Reigns holding up the title.

[Jordan]

Did they do the update on Rollins yet?

Maybe. They recapped the attack and the news from the following day saying his chances at WM are in question, didn't allude to more news to come.

[Emperor Smeat]

Feel like RAW should have had the Chamber, and SD have Fastlane.......

Then you'd be stuck with Orton-Cena for the WWE title at Mania assuming what happened at the Rumble still occurs.

At least the Chamber gives the WWE some wiggle room for Mania matches on Smackdown's side.

[Mercenary]

These guys always looked hella old

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

ROCK AND ROLL!

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Crowd popping for the RocknRoll

[Lock Jaw]

Then you'd be stuck with Orton-Cena for the WWE title at Mania assuming what happened at the Rumble still occurs.

At least the Chamber gives the WWE some wiggle room for Mania matches on Smackdown's side.

Yeah I guess

I guess I woulda booked everything differently

Can't change just the one thing

[Lock Jaw]

Guy dressed like Sami Zayn front row......

I guess Hulk Hogan and THE DEMON KANE were moved before the show......

[Lock Jaw]

Oh wait, there is Hogan and THE DEMON KANE right there

[Ruien]

Lol. A dozen HoFer have held the title. How many scrubs have won it though? Like 100.

[Jordan]

That kick missssssed bad

[Dark One]

Cruiserweight tape crew rolling in again. Time for KING NEVILLE?

[Lock Jaw]

Dark One missing some quality recaps of what happened earlier in the night!! How can he remember without them?!

[RP]

Good to see Goldberg actually working some sort of schedule. Unlike that fag Brock.

[Dark One]

Dark One missing some quality recaps of what happened earlier in the night!! How can he remember without them?!

Good opportunity to see how many times you guys missed me.

[Ruien]

Is this Owens first opponent not named Rollins or Reigns?

[RP]

No way they are feeding Joe to Roman Reigns already. FFS!

[Lock Jaw]

Dark One in a grey t-shirt tonight

[Dark One]

Dark One in a grey t-shirt tonight

Close.

[Dark One]

Austin Aries is one suave looking motherfucker.

[Emperor Smeat]

Is this Owens first opponent not named Rollins or Reigns?

Outside of a match against Strowman last week and one against Sami, that's been pretty much the case for Owens title reign for singles matches.

[Lock Jaw]

Nice pocket banana

[Emperor Smeat]

Seems stupid to spend all that time setting up the ring for Cruiser stuff if its just an interview.

[Emperor Smeat]

WWE really needs to come up with a special name for 5-ways instead of just using "Fatal" again.

Singles, Doubles, Triple, Fatal, Fatal, Six Pack Challenge is how it breaks down currently.

[Lock Jaw]

Alicia FUUUuuuuuuUUUUUuuuuuuuuUUuuuuaaaaaaaaaa

[RP]

Oh shit someone gave TJ a mic!

[RP]

TJ Perkins stepped up wow! I'm impressed.

[RP]

This is getting no reaction lol

[Lock Jaw]

Neville was not prepared to compete tonight! (despite wearing his wrestling gear)

[RP]

WHIFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[Lock Jaw]

Ha ha at Neville teasing the dive and not doing it

[Dark One]

Teddy Long just appeared and made a six man tag.

[Lock Jaw]

Should be a good match (hopefully) on 205 Live......

[Emperor Smeat]

Wouldn't be surprised if Papa Shango paid a visit to Alexander with the awkward landing from his dive.

[Ruien]

Neville should refuse to wrestle on Raw. And let him stay the champ for like a year. Will maybe get people to tune into 205. I probably still wouldn't but I might be tempted.

[Dark One]

Crowd starting a boring chant within thirty seconds of the match starting. Stupid Portland hipsters.

[Emperor Smeat]

http://i.imgur.com/Fgv0QMU.jpg

[Lock Jaw]

Whoa whoa whoa

Emmalina NEXT WEEK

[Mercenary]

Emma next week on Raw!!!!!!!!!!

[Lock Jaw]

(but probably not)

[Emperor Smeat]

Going to laugh if WWE forgets about Emmalina again. No way she's actually debuting next week.

[Ruien]

I hope she comes out in a sweatshirt and baggy pants.

[Dark One]

Lumbar Check looks extra sick in person.

[Dark One]

Pretty sure I have a Full Sail transplant behind me. He kept yelling "That's Suicide!" At TJP that whole fucking match.

[Lock Jaw]

They should bring back Raw Roulette next week.......

[Dark One]

Going to spontaneously combust if Reigns wins. That's how you guys will find me. I'll be the one on fire.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

The Path of Rage!

[Ruien]

Hope Roman puts this TNA piece of trash on the shelf for a year.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Pretty sure I have a Full Sail transplant behind me. He kept yelling "That's Suicide!" At TJP that whole fucking match.

Wouldn't that mean he's an Impact Zone rtard?

[RP]

Sooooo I feel like this is the point we find out that Seth Rollins knee injury was a major work and he interferes in this main event.

[Ruien]

Sooooo I feel like this is the point we find out that Seth Rollins knee injury was a major work and he interferes in this main event.

I just busted a nut but I will bust another one instantly if that is the case.

[Ruien]

So can't believe they made a movie of a white girls family wanting to lynch her black boyfriend.

[Ruien]

Does that mobile game have Braun or Wyatt?

[Emperor Smeat]

Going to spontaneously combust if Reigns wins. That's how you guys will find me. I'll be the one on fire.

WWE will use it as the random crowd shot to end RAW and then next week edit it to show how happy the WWE Universe gets whenever The Big Dog wins.

[Dark One]

Guy helpfully yelling "Eric Bischoff came up with the chamber."

Ugh.

[Lock Jaw]

Does that mobile game have Braun or Wyatt?

Yes. Yes, it does.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Does that mobile game have Braun or Wyatt?

Both but it's the New Face of Destruction Stroman.

[Dark One]

WWE will use it as the random crowd shot to end RAW and then next week edit it to show how happy the WWE Universe gets whenever The Big Dog wins.

Can't wait to see how they use my sigh and eye roll when he came out the first time.

[Ruien]

What does everyone do in the crowd when we have 15 minute commercial breaks?

[Emperor Smeat]

Going to be really stupid but typical WWE if Bayley wins next week and drops it at Fastlane just to prop up Charlotte's ppv streak till Mania. Did the same in having Sasha's first reign occur on RAW and not on a ppv.

[Ruien]

Lol. There isn't going to be a main event is there?

[Ruien]

LOL 7 minutes and guess what? COMMERCIALS?

[Dark One]

I'll take it.

[Emperor Smeat]

Can't wait to see how they use my sigh and eye roll when he came out the first time.

Reverse the video to show how you were almost about to sleep or look away until The Big Dog arrived because you are that excited for him.

[Dark One]

Going to be doubly angry when Jesus Reigns rises from the dead, call She joe back out, and then wins.

[RP]

They are just wearing the " Roman gets destroyed before the match starts " gimmick out are they not?

[RP]

Fake Roman chants being pumped through the crowd.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Fake Roman chants being pumped through the crowd.

We're live pal.

[KIRA]

Joe about to Job even after having Graves list off his impressive background and putting him over as a dangerous,brutal competitor

[Emperor Smeat]

http://i.imgur.com/qJA8l7u.gif

[RP]

I dont understand the plan anymore.

[Jordan]

Awesome match

[Dark One]

Fake Roman chants being pumped through the crowd.

I'm trapped in the one section running them.

[Lock Jaw]

Joe needing Braun's help to win in his first match

[Dark One]

A+ ending.

[Emperor Smeat]

:D Joe wins ... even if the WWE made him look weak as hell near the end.

WWE is really stubborn at not wanting to make Reigns opponents look good whenever they go with shenanigans for a Roman loss.

[Lock Jaw]

Dark One in a grey long sleeve shirt and grey toque

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Thank you Stroman!

[KIRA]

Oh god those heavy hollow steeps

[Sepholio]

Stroman murdering Reigns. Excellent.

[Dark One]

A+++++ ending.

[Dark One]

Dark One in a grey long sleeve shirt and grey toque

Close. I was definitely marking out during Joe's win and the stair shot.

[Dark One]

BROCK!!!!

[RP]

The auspiciously loose barricade spot has been beaten to death the last few months.

[Dark One]

Brock dark segment makes this the best Raw of all time.

[Dark One]

Brock about to kill Big Show.

[Lock Jaw]

"Weird" that the Seth Rollins update was essentially "Seth Rollins is injured and his presence at Wrestlemania is in question"......... which is exactly what we already knew.......

[Dark One]

Super fortunate to get that Raw. No blow away matches. It lots of special segments and stuff happening.

[Emperor Smeat]

"Weird" that the Seth Rollins update was essentially "Seth Rollins is injured and his presence at Wrestlemania is in question"......... which is exactly what we already knew.......

Guess not even the WWE is sure Rollins can come back in time for Mania.

Window to stay on track is almost non-existent if he really needs up to 8 weeks minimum. Can't even pull a Taker and be extra lazy with the build because Mania is what everyone cares about the most for Taker. The longer they hesistate to make a decision, the less time they have to rush a build and feud for Triple H at Mania.

[Lock Jaw]

They must have heard you were coming

@ Dark One

[Jordan]

What happened off air?

[Dark One]

They must have heard you were coming

@ Dark One

This is the most likely answer.

[Dark One]

What happened off air?

Brock and Heyman came out and challenged anyone to a fight because "Goldberg" had already left the building. Big Show came out and got F5ed. A good time was had by all.

[Lock Jaw]

Vince McMahon: "Dark One is coming tonight?! Send for Brock Lesnar immediately! Money is of no object!"

[Dark One]

I am in this photo.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C4BrImGVUAAssUZ.jpg

Also definitely in the shot of Braun obliterating Roman with the stairs. FIND DARK ONE.

Spoiler: I'm Braun Strowman.

[Lock Jaw]

Jobber in the middle

[Dark One]

From the end of the show:

http://i.imgur.com/wJlPGaT.png

[Lock Jaw]

Lesnar must like that Big Show must be a whole heckuva lot easier to pick up now

[Dark One]

Additional notes:

Jojo's looks incredible.

Lana looks incredible.

Braun Strowman is a scary dude up close.

Bayley and Nia Jax are both the drizzling shits in the ring without camera cuts to disguise their whiffs.

Goldberg interrupting a segment was pretty special.

Enzo and Cass seem like cool dudes and were great with interacting with the crowd off camera.

10/10 would recommend a Road to Wrestlemania Raw again.

[Dark One]

Lesnar must like that Big Show must be a whole heckuva lot easier to pick up now

It was crazy how slim his midsection is. When he was laid out on the ground after the F5, his chest was like 2-3x the thickness of of his waist.

Anorexic Giant.

[Lock Jaw]

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/gallery_img_ml/public/all/2017/02/178_RAW_02062017jg_0704--99f2fdc46199fc97fbb2c7d0f713b049.jpg

Dark One either the nerd in the hoodie or the chick behind the dude in the white t-shirt

[Dark One]

Lock Jaw wins the rep and ensures that Slik Jaw Investigations is the premiere detective agency on the internet.

[Jordan]

I think that was my favorite Joe match in years.

[Lock Jaw]

Lock Jaw wins the rep and ensures that Slik Jaw Investigations is the premiere detective agency on the internet.

I knew he was that chick all along

[Jordan]

The Samoan Joe's have really good chemistry, I hope that's a match abused as much as Orton/Cena.

[Cool King]

I actually thought Raw was pretty decent this week and I watched all but one match.

• I'm not a fan of Samoa Joe and to be honest, I've never been a fan. I saw a few of his matches way back in the day and I've just never cared for the guy since and seeing him on Raw was "meh" for me.

Although his appearance has always reminded me of a discount Tazz or some really bad attempt at a Tazz CAW.

• Bayley matches always remind me how much I hate Saxton.

• Was the girl in the front row a plant? She came across as a being a plant to me.

• Strowman facing jobbers again made me feel like I was back in August again. At least it had a purpose though.

• "These guys are probably gonna be using a poop emoji to describe their mood after this match". This is why I hate Saxton.

• Graves on the other hand is (and always has been) top notch. His Power Rangers comment actually made me laugh out loud.

• This was my introduction to Tozawa and it was a good one. It sucks that Gulak had to lose though as he's also good.

This was actually the first Cruiserweight match I've watched in such a long time and it was only because Tozawa was debuting. The division has been so poor that I usually just skip the Cruiserweight matches.

• I actually think Goldberg will win the Universal Championship at Fastlane, then drop the title to Lesnar at WrestleMania.

• Cesaro needs new music. If Cesaro & Sheamus are going to remain a team for a good while, then they both need a new theme together.

• Is this going to be how the WWE re-introduces Ice Cream Bars?

• Epico & Primo had a really going showing, which fills me with hope that maybe they'll be going somewhere.

• Why did Owens go for a Super Kick? He completely missed. Maybe if he wasn't so fat, he would have been able to get his leg up enough to have reached Zayn.

A big punch or even a clothesline would have suffice.

• I skipped the Cruiserweight match as I really don't care about most of the guys who were in it.

I like Nese though, but the rest, nah. Also, Dar is just the worst.

• The main event was what I expected, "meh". This was my first Samoa Joe match in a very long time and I see that not much has changed from him. Although, Joe has gotten a bit chunkier since the last time I watched a match of his.

[Big Vic]

I have this in my DVR, should I just delete it CK?

[Cool King]

Nah, keep it.

You never know when you'll be bored next.

[drave]

Yea,

Youu'll be bored. Instead, watch NXT.

[Lock Jaw]

https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s640x640/e35/16583369_1811197715820626_5103489714036408320_n.jpg?ig_cache_key=MTQ0NDU5MTk3NTU0OTY3NTU1NQ%3D%3D.2. c

[drave]

she knows what she's doing

[Big Vic]

I love her.