WWE RAW -- 5.28.18 -- Official Thread of Officialness

[Lock Jaw]

Ha ha at Scott Dawson shaking his wiener at the B-Team

[KIRA]

I shouldn't like this but I love it

[Emperor Smeat]

If AoP don't come out and destroy this BBQ, they will have had a quicker fall of grace than The Revival did from NXT.

[Dark One]

"There ain't no way you're cutting the line in front of the entire Raw Tag Team Division."

"Yes."

Case closed everyone.

[rez]

damnit. what a waste of food

[Anybody Thrilla]

I am embarrassed to be watching this.

[rez]

i could watch rhyno eat sandwiches all day

[KIRA]

I think they moved it Thanksgiving shows too far up

[Dark One]

If AoP don't come out and destroy this BBQ, they will have had a quicker fall of grace than The Revival did from NXT.

They dead

[Emperor Smeat]

Rhyno managed to be the most over guy in this segment and all he did was just pig out on bologna sandwiches and toss food into the crowd.

[Dark One]

I am embarrassed to be watching this.

How many are we up to this week? Two or three?

Is that more or less than usual? I can't keep track of it any more.

[slik]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Given the chance, Vince McMahon will always book a food fight. I guarantee he's backstage laughing hysterically. The only one....<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RAW?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RAW</a></p>&mdash; Chris Toplack (@christoplack) <a href="https://twitter.com/christoplack/status/1001290206744666113?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 29, 2018</a></blockquote>
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[KIRA]

I am embarrassed to be watching this.

As proud as NXT makes me to be awrestling fan that's how embarrassed Vince McMahon makes me to be a wrestling fan

[slik]

Some of those fans in the front row juts got plastered w/ baked beans to the skull

[DAMN iNATOR]

Does Rhyno have an entire platter of sandwiches.

dZqo4OZ0Pqs

[slik]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My bologna has a first name<br>It's R-H-Y-N-O <a href="https://t.co/zFEDS9OH5V">pic.twitter.com/zFEDS9OH5V</a></p>&mdash; TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) <a href="https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/1001291450515107842?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 29, 2018</a></blockquote>
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[Dark One]

Is Braun going to win this Tag Team Battle Royal too?

[slik]

Where'd RP go?

[Emperor Smeat]

Bayley's #1?

Time to scratch her name off the winner's list for this Gauntlet.

[Dark One]

"Because the name on that contract doesn't read Sasha Banks... it reads SHANE MCMAHON"

Wait.

Wrong decade

Sorry

[DAMN iNATOR]

So Bayley going to get somehow defeated by the "underhanded" tactics or something I guess.

[Emperor Smeat]

Is Braun going to win this Tag Team Battle Royal too?

Too bad his former tag partner Nicholas is still going to be busy with school stuff to lend a helping hand.

[Anybody Thrilla]

I was about to talk about how adorable Liv Morgan is, but don't even worry about it now.

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: at the first match being shorter than Bayley's promo.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Are there rules against sitting down while you watch matches backstage?

[slik]

OMG either just have Bayley and Sasha feud or M-O-V-E--O-N

[KIRA]

I refuse acknowledge that Bo Dallas and Rhino were ever in the ring together in my mind they're still the same person going through extreme weight gain and weight loss.

[Dark One]

Gauntlet match will be over at 7:53.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Wow. This really is one of the most exciting match types in all of WWE. :|

[DAMN iNATOR]

I feel like somebody drugged my bottled water with AmBien after that beatdown.

[KIRA]

So have they just given up on my dream of Bailey becoming a greasy smarmy heel

[Emperor Smeat]

Instead of using this match to build up or showcase someone like with Rollins, WWE is pretty much doing the opposite so far.

[Dark One]

Wow. This really is one of the most exciting match types in all of WWE. :|

But they said it was 15 times tonight.

It has to be true.

[Emperor Smeat]

So have they just given up on my dream of Bailey becoming a greasy smarmy heel

She could still end up losing in the end and then just snaps going all knifey stabby to Banks for taking away another chance at her winning the title. Then massacres the Inflatable Bayley Buddies as part of her locker room rampage.

[Dark One]

Is there still a segment left or something?

[Emperor Smeat]

This Gauntlet match is like general Women's Survivor Series level of bad for entertainment.

[Dark One]

"It's been a great performance for the leader of the Riott Squad so far!"

She's been in there for like four minutes. What the fuck.

[Ezra]

Is there still a segment left or something?

25 more commercials.

[KIRA]

I see Mickey finally got some more decent gear instead of a stupid denim tights she's been wearing

[Lock Jaw]

Hi. I'm just here to say

IT'S BOSS TIME!!!!!!

[Anybody Thrilla]

Why is Ruby the world beater here? Seems like she should have been switched with Sasha in order.

[Emperor Smeat]

Either Shasha is wearing a lot of shoulder tape or someone thought that was a good design for her gear.

[Dark One]

"GUTSY PERFORMANCE"

It's been like ten minutes.

[slik]

The commentary team says 'Ruby Riott' about every 4 seconds

[Anybody Thrilla]

I dunno, I think I like Ruby Riott now. Hated her in NXT.

[Anybody Thrilla]

That last leg of the gauntlet was good.

[xrodmuc316]

Yes Sasha! Take that Bayley you little whiner.

[Dark One]

First part is okay just so-so but you're really going to regret the last part

This was accurate.

[Emperor Smeat]

They really should have done Bayley vs Sasha for the final matchup and use it as the moment to turn one of them heel.

WWE was also really lazy with the booking and flow of this Gauntlet match.

[Dark One]

Apparently Zack Ryder is grooming himself to murder Curtis Axel and sub in and hope no one notices.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/AlwayzReady?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#AlwayzReady</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Raw?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Raw</a> <a href="https://t.co/txFNWDg8l3">pic.twitter.com/txFNWDg8l3</a></p>&mdash; Zack Ryder (@ZackRyder) <a href="https://twitter.com/ZackRyder/status/1001265215789559808?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 29, 2018</a></blockquote>
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[Emperor Smeat]

Apparently Zack Ryder is grooming himself to murder Curtis Axel and sub in and hope no one notices.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/AlwayzReady?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#AlwayzReady</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Raw?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Raw</a> <a href="https://t.co/txFNWDg8l3">pic.twitter.com/txFNWDg8l3</a></p>&mdash; Zack Ryder (@ZackRyder) <a href="https://twitter.com/ZackRyder/status/1001265215789559808?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 29, 2018</a></blockquote>
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Or maybe WWE's next family-based storyline of Curt Hennig/Mr Perfect's long lost son.

[Tom Guycott]

Haven't really started through the thread yet. I'm stuck at Slik's preview images. Ever since that other promo pic for the ladies' match, I can't unsee Sarah Logan/Bayley as female Andersons.

[LibSuperstar]

Or maybe WWE's next family-based storyline of Curt Hennig/Mr Perfect's long lost son.

That might could work.

[KIRA]

She could still end up losing in the end and then just snaps going all knifey stabby to Banks for taking away another chance at her winning the title. Then massacres the Inflatable Bayley Buddies as part of her locker room rampage.

My fingers are crossed that she ends up costing Sasha a chance at the Money in the Bank briefcase

[Droford]

Just finished RAW. Show was ok fast forwarding through the commercials but the guantlet match was garbage.

[slik]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="und" dir="ltr">.<a href="https://twitter.com/RubyRiottWWE?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@RubyRiottWWE</a>! <a href="https://t.co/PMF8otUW2z">pic.twitter.com/PMF8otUW2z</a></p>&mdash; TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) <a href="https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/1001298555636678657?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 29, 2018</a></blockquote>
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[Emperor Smeat]

Did someone just get stretchered off in the background of Owens-Angle talking to each other?

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Come on, Kurt. Don't make <a href="https://twitter.com/FightOwensFight?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@FightOwensFight</a> miss the fireworks. <a href="https://t.co/ja6BhwpLFm">pic.twitter.com/ja6BhwpLFm</a></p>&mdash; TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) <a href="https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/1001261549753946112?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 29, 2018</a></blockquote>
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Wonder who that was since it was a completely random thing to capture on camera.

[Destor]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="und" dir="ltr">.<a href="https://twitter.com/RubyRiottWWE?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@RubyRiottWWE</a>! <a href="https://t.co/PMF8otUW2z">pic.twitter.com/PMF8otUW2z</a></p>&mdash; TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) <a href="https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/1001298555636678657?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 29, 2018</a></blockquote>
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Really bad. She gives the spot away with her eyes. #petpeeve

[Lock Jaw]

I don't mind it

[xrodmuc316]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Come on, Kurt. Don't make <a href="https://twitter.com/FightOwensFight?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@FightOwensFight</a> miss the fireworks. <a href="https://t.co/ja6BhwpLFm">pic.twitter.com/ja6BhwpLFm</a></p>&mdash; TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) <a href="https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/1001261549753946112?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 29, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Wonder who that was since it was a completely random thing to capture on camera.

I'm assuming that was them just setting up for Seth on the stretcher later

[Cool King]

• I noticed that Michael Cole didn't tell us who Chris Jericho defeated back in 2000 to win the Intercontinental Championship. Usually with Cole's "fun facts" about titles, he tells us all who won the title and who they won it from.

Obviously, Jericho won it from Chris Benoit. It seems that the whole Benoit thing is the only thing WWE can stay dedicated to. Eleven years and still dedicated to something that isn't The Undertaker must be some kind of record for WWE.

• So Nia Jax is a heel again?

And this type of heel is exactly the type of character Alexa Bliss was telling us all about not even a month ago.

So the last two months in the story of Nia Jax meant absolutely nothing then?

• Dana Brooke is hot as all hell. Also, the sky is blue.

• I'm thoroughly enjoying the B-Team.

• I don't mean to be rude, but these terrible mobile phone promos aren't really doing Ruby Riott any favours. She really shouldn't be that close to a camera.

• The B-Team's BBQ was a fun little segment.

Michael Cole really should have muted his mic though. Almost every single word that came out of Curtis Axel's mouth, got Cole snorting down the mic and giggling. It's funny a first, but it gets annoying really fast.

Good work with the cameras and missing the pay-off with the beans over Bo though.

• Oh my goodness. Sasha Banks won the match and is now in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. I did not see that coming. I am shocked. :|

[xrodmuc316]

• So Nia Jax is a heel again?

And this type of heel is exactly the type of character Alexa Bliss was telling us all about not even a month ago.

So the last two months in the story of Nia Jax meant absolutely nothing then?


Not exactly, it did allow WWE to take the very logical story of Asuka taking out the heel champion, winning her first title, allowing the first women's Rumble winner to fulfill the journey, and keeping her undefeated streak to build to an eventual mega match with Ronda and just kill it all.

This allowed Charlotte to add zero to her legacy, lose her title 2 days later, lose her rematch, then go get new fake boobs.

It allowed Carmella vs Asuka, cause why have undefeated Asuka take the title from the best heel female at Wrestlemania when you can have a not undefeated Asuka take it from a comedy type heel female at a random June PPV.

It allowed fat Nia to give a "Be a Star" speech that was booed and wildly panned.

And it allowed fat Nia to act like an armbar submission could never beat her, except for when Asuka did exactly that to her 3 freaking months ago.

It allowed WWE to already go with pushing Ronda like she is the female Roman, cause we all know that works out well in the end.

AND, most important of all, it allowed Stephanie to manipulate both women, including the one that was just 2 months ago beating her up for trying to manipulate her.

That my friends, is why WWE has the best Emmy Award Winning writers, cause they know logic!

[Mr. Nerfect]

Really bad. She gives the spot away with her eyes. #petpeeve

Ugh, yes. I didn't want to say it, because I am usually "that guy." But the delicateness of this spot is just a bit lame.