Smackdown Live Thread 5/29/18

[Dark One]

Some shit's gonna happen.

Joe vs Bryan

Nakamura's gonna give Tye Dillinger 10 punches to the dick.

Maybe Bobby Lashley's sisters will show up after being traded for Bo's Baked Beans.

[Dark One]

Also apparently a dance off because why the fuck are we watching this

[Droford]

Joe vs Bryan now because fuck it

[slik]

Dance Off

[owenbrown]

obviously Joe is not winning tonight :(

[ClockShot]

Take that case and run, Joe.

[slik]

Joe vs DBry opening the show!

[Emperor Smeat]

So what happens if Joe refused to give the MitB case back?

[Dark One]

So what happens if Joe refused to give the MitB case back?

I mean, are you going to tell him to give it back?

[ClockShot]

Joe gets personal with these promos.

When Ambrose got injured he took shots at him whenever Renee would be interviewing him and I honestly thought Renee was gonna kill him.

[xrodmuc316]

Joe should be winning tonight and at the PPV. I would love the danger of him holding that case.

[ClockShot]

Cass?

Oh, he's on a crutch.

[Droford]

Big Cast

[xrodmuc316]

Lol Big Trash instantly kills anything good that is happening on the show

[owenbrown]

don't tell me this is a work...

[KIRA]

Smackdown live: making your wildest dreams a reality

[Emperor Smeat]

If Cass really did hurt himself, he has a terrible way of showing it

[KIRA]

Aww damn it I knew it was too good to be true

[Droford]

lol

[slik]

F*** Cass

[ClockShot]

Well gee golly god damn.

[Droford]

Just make it a triple threat

[Dark One]

Big Cass is what happens if Kevin Nash got Benjamin Button disease, had an aneurysm, and got left out in the sun too long.

[Droford]

Big Cass with the heel move of taking away Bryan vs Joe

[slik]

lol Meltz was wrong on that one

[KIRA]

I've never wanted a man to tear his quad so badly

[xrodmuc316]

Wow, promote a dream match all week, swerve and make it a Bus Trash match instead... I mean just wow

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: pulling a bait & switch on the crowd with no Bryan-Joe tonight

Also nice of Nakamura to bring counting cards for the ref.

[owenbrown]

Is Nakamura counting the number of cups AJ Styles should have been wearing since WrestleMania?

[KIRA]

I'm glad they're giving Nakamura side project to do while waiting for his next bout with AJ they should have been doing this all along really

[xrodmuc316]

Big Cass is what happens if Kevin Nash got Benjamin Button disease, had an aneurysm, and got left out in the sun too long.


You forgot slap a Edge lookalike face on him

[Dark One]

You forgot slap a Edge lookalike face on him

That is an insult to Montgomery Q. Edgenstein.

[Sepholio]

I'm wondering if Cass is hurt and is just hiding it well and they are going to use the match against Joe to write him off and let Joe kill someone.

[xrodmuc316]

Lol @ that MITB Commercial. Now only weighs 270, yeah right

[xrodmuc316]

That is an insult to Montgomery Q. Edgenstein.

Well I should have said an Edge like face with a dumb New Yorker twist!

[Droford]

Just make it a triple threat

Well that was obvious

[Sepholio]

Nevermind, triple threat now. DBry gonna break Cass' leg.

[xrodmuc316]

Big Cass is medically cleared. In other news is rather watch Enzos rap video again than anything with Big Trash

[KIRA]

I'm going to kill the next person I see if Asuka loses again tonight

[Jordan]

I think PAWG Paige is pretty good.

[Jordan]

Also, that sucks that we don't get Bryan and Joe tonight, but maybe they want to save it for a special occasion.

[Jordan]

I think PAWG Paige is pretty good.

I mean wow her DSL's

[Jordan]

So what is going to go down here on Smackdown? Shinsuke has got to take the title at MITB.

[KIRA]

Please God give Tyr Dillinger at least one title run so he can holddvup the belt vwhile that awesome music plays in the background I need to see that

[Jordan]

Tye is great, but this should be a squash making Nakamura look strong.

[Dark One]

"DO YOU SEE THIS BADGE? This means I am a healthcare professional!"

Dave Bautista is a national treasure.

[rez]

so...the Paige movie doesn't come out until next spring? Figure she'll be GM until then?

[rez]

Hotel Artemis looks pretty good. great cast

[Droford]

Please God give Tyr Dillinger at least one title run so he can holddvup the belt vwhile that awesome music plays in the background I need to see that

They should make a TV Title with a 10 minute time limit for him

[Emperor Smeat]

At the rate this is going, Nakamura is going to hit Tye's nuts if he stops another 10 count

[RP]

Great match and i fucking hate Dillinger

[RP]

I feel like Raw is being written by children and Smackdown is being written by legit adults.

[Emperor Smeat]

Heel Nakamura has been an absolute treasure for Smackdown

[slik]

Crowd was really into Nakamura vs Tye Dillenger

[owenbrown]

for the love of God, make Nakamura the champ at Money in the Bank

[Droford]

for the love of God, make Nakamura the champ at Money in the Bank

Its gonna be another double 10 count

[Jordan]

If TPWW is the pulse of the wrestling industry, and we all know that it is, I think the rating will be really low for tonights show.

[slik]

Dance Off time

[Savio]

So Flair is no longer the Colonel then?

[Dark One]

B-Team BBQ vs Lana/Naomi Dance Off

WHO YOU GOT?

[Emperor Smeat]

Big missed opportunity by KFC to not have Ric Flair in a legit commercial after seeing the one he is in for Popeyes

[slik]

I am on #TeamLana

Dance Lana Dance

[Emperor Smeat]

Should have held this Dance Off last week in order to be a MitB qualifiying match

[Jordan]

I wonder if this will turn into a tag match!?

[RP]

BLACK GIRL GO AWAY ! LANA LET ME EAT YOUR ASS!

[Jordan]

God I hate watching Lana dance.

[Emperor Smeat]

Lana's dance was better overall

[DAMN iNATOR]

This dance-off reminds me of American Pie - and not in a good way.

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol:

[Jordan]

Honestly they both sucked.

[rez]

wth did I just walk back into the room to

[slik]

Lana did a better spin-a-roonie than Booker T.

[KIRA]

My precious A-show what are they doing to you?

[Dark One]

That was certainly a segment.

[Jordan]

Well thankfully that is over.

[rez]

mr bootysworth..poor intern/stage crew guy

[owenbrown]

Byron is so awkwardly horrible

[Jordan]

LMAO @ The Miz

[DAMN iNATOR]

Lana did a better spin-a-roonie than Booker T.

The jury's still out on if she can pull off the highly technical Kane-a-roonie, though.

[KIRA]

It's amazing how inserting one more wrestler in to a match featuring Samoa Joe and Daniel Bryan just brings the rating down all the way especially if that wrestlers big Cass I really hope he gets put out early

[slik]

Lana vs Naomi is already more entertaining than Carmella

[Jordan]

It's amazing how inserting one more wrestler in to a match featuring Samoa Joe and Daniel Bryan just brings the rating down all the way especially if that wrestlers big Cass I really hope he gets put out early

Big Cass is good for NOTHING. What is wrong with him? He hit Bryan in the head with the MONEY IN THE BANK BRIEFCASE. A briefcase can be VERY DANGEROUS TO A PERSON WITH A HISTORY OF BRAIN DAMAGE. I hope Big Cass get tossed out of the match and out of WWE!

[Ol Dirty Dastard]

I mean the false advertising is whack but kinda happy they aren't wasting Joe v Bryan singles match JUST yet.

Should be a big ppv match.

[Dark One]

If Fox aired That 80's Show, they won't save us from Dance Offs.

[Jordan]

Big Cass should go to WORLD STAR with REAL1 and stand in his music videos with his arms crossed knodding his head wearing sunglasses.

[Droford]

If Fox aired That 80's Show, they won't save us from Dance Offs.

So u think u can dance crossover opportunities

[Dark One]

So u think u can dance crossover opportunities

You fucking monster

[slik]

Lana vs Naomi is already more entertaining than Carmella

And Carmella ended up the most entertaining member of the Enzo/Cass/Carmella trio, never saw that coming either.

[Jordan]

Feel like Raw's biggest loss was actually Sheamus and Caesaro.

[Ol Dirty Dastard]

And Carmella ended up the most entertaining member of the Enzo/Cass/Carmella trio, never saw that coming either.

:roll:

[owenbrown]

guess it's time for Miz, Sheamus, and Cesaro to all job to the New Day

[Jordan]

That was a cool springboard vader bomb by Kofi.

[Jordan]

What shit time for a commercial, that match already had me getting interested.

[owenbrown]

I really wish Big E would turn heel

[Jordan]

Woods with a super hot tag! Wow this combo is awesome!

[Jordan]

Dang maybe Xavier should be in MITB.

[Jordan]

I love WWE 6 man tags like this.

[Jordan]

Matches like this make me want to keep New Day together just so they can keep finding awesome trio's for them to go against.

[Dark One]

I really wish Big E would turn heel

This would 100% be him if he turned heel

https://i.imgur.com/o2T2Q0Q.gif

[Jordan]

Wow great match! Yeah!

[Emperor Smeat]

6-man tag match was pretty good overall

[Jordan]

What's up Good Brothers?

[Dark One]

Anderson & Gallows?

Chadd 2 Badd got promoted.

[Jordan]

LOL specifically saying "Hot Asian wife".

[Dark One]

LOL specifically saying "Hot Asian wife".

I don't blame him.

[Jordan]

Why do they have to do this stupid bullshit. Just be big guys who kick ass.

[Emperor Smeat]

This would 100% be him if he turned heel

https://i.imgur.com/o2T2Q0Q.gif
How will his boobs manage to stretch around to his back?

Doubt pigging out on pancakes will do the trick.

[Emperor Smeat]

Season finale of WWE Camp is already happening?

Seems like it only just started a few weeks ago.

[Jordan]

I feel like there are too many matches on the MITB card.

[slik]

It's a four hour show

[Dark One]

Corey Graves melting down.

[Emperor Smeat]

Looks like WWE finally realized Mandy's blurry entrance was terrible whenever Mandy was not in the focused part.

[KIRA]

RIP Mandy moore

[RP]

WWE writing is so so bad. I'm not sure i can take this much more. Sonya runs down and plows Asuka. And then walks away instead of laying into her.

BTW Carmella just said " Byron are you shitting me " lol

[Droford]

Mella with "Byron are you shitting me" lol howd that get by

[RP]

I'm positive I hear " Byron are you shitting me ? " lol

[Droford]

I had to rewind it but she did

[slik]

Mandy Rose decimating Asuka

[slik]

Asuka was not ready 4 Mandy

[RP]

I want more " Loose Mic " Carmella.

[Droford]

I want more " Loose Mic " Carmella.

Is that cause you want her fired?

[Emperor Smeat]

Mandy suddenly busting out Exploder suplexes and face busters seems really weird, especially against Asuka.

[KIRA]

Somebody needs to go in the back and stab the Road Dogg in the knee with an ice pick and tell him Asuka is not a fight from underneath wrestler.

I wonder whose idea it was to have Asuka just barely squeak out wins especially after she's been touted as a wrecking machine

[Emperor Smeat]

That match did more to help Mandy than it did for Asuka. Asuka pretty much won via a fluke with how much she was getting dominated

[Jordan]

Why did they stop pushing Becky Lynch?

[RP]

Is that cause you want her fired?

No i love her to be honest.

[KIRA]

That match did more to help Mandy than it did for Asuka. Asuka pretty much won via a fluke with how much she was getting dominated

I know it's sickening a wrestler who is actually really good as to play second fiddle to another one of Vince's blond bimbos

[Jordan]

Who in the fuck would ever have a conversation like this.

[Jordan]

I love how Paige's titties are push up and her lips are so big.

[slik]

Asuka squeaks out a win against Mandy

[Emperor Smeat]

Would have laughed if Paige blurted out the original name for her group with Charlotte and Becky

[RP]

What is this Triple Threat bullshit all of a sudden? I thought it was DB vs Joe . I though Cass was out for another 8 months. WTF!

[Droford]

No i love her to be honest.

You do realize shed get fired if that happened then right?

They probably wont be too happy about it tonight

[Jordan]

What is this Triple Threat bullshit all of a sudden? I thought it was DB vs Joe . I though Cass was out for another 8 months. WTF!

He got cleared.

[owenbrown]

Would have laughed if Paige blurted out the original name for her group with Charlotte and Becky

WWE never wants you to speak of that again :shifty:

[KIRA]

Okay I'm pretty sure they won't let Brian in to the Money in the Bank match well with them being so soft shoe with him lately so Samoa Joe is going in theyre crazy if they let big Cass in

[Droford]

What is this Triple Threat bullshit all of a sudden? I thought it was DB vs Joe . I though Cass was out for another 8 months. WTF!
It was Cass' shot and he isn't really hurt so...yeah

[Jordan]

Okay I'm pretty sure they won't let Brian in to the Money in the Bank match well with them being so soft shoe with him lately so Samoa Joe is going in theyre crazy if they let big Cass in

I think there is a good case (no pun intended) for each of the contestants this year to take MITB. Should be exciting.

[Dark One]

Why did they stop pushing Becky Lynch?

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/65/49/e6/6549e67daa947bb7bb34dd596d024582.gif

[Jordan]

I've seen Becky up close and she's really beautiful. Her skin is soft.

[slik]

Why did they stop pushing Becky Lynch?

IDK she is always over

[RP]

Good to see Buddy Murphy getting his " I'm fucking Alexa Bliss " push, finally.

[owenbrown]

WWE writing is so so bad. I'm not sure i can take this much more. Sonya runs down and plows Asuka. And then walks away instead of laying into her.

BTW Carmella just said " Byron are you shitting me " lol

Mella with "Byron are you shitting me" lol howd that get by

I'm positive I hear " Byron are you shitting me ? " lol

sounded like "are you kidding me" to me :-\

[Jordan]

Good to see Buddy Murphy getting his " I'm fucking Alexa Bliss " push, finally.

lol he's good luckily.

[rez]

So if i'm not mistaken, this manager lady is playing AJ Lee in the Paige movie. da fuq

[RP]

You do realize shed get fired if that happened then right?

They probably wont be too happy about it tonight

MR OBVOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[Jordan]

That's a good match for next week, Charlotte and Becky. Good job on WWE for booking ahead a little bit lately. Ah yes I've been waiting for Almos.

[Droford]

poor sin cara

[Jordan]

Damn I wish they'd just add Almos into this match, make it a four corners eliminator, and Almos wins and also wins MITB.

[slik]

El Idolo going to teach Sin Cara some manners.

[owenbrown]

Why did Samoa Joe get the jobber entrance?

[KIRA]

Daniel Bryan vs Samoa Joe it's like having the most wonderful Pizza put in front of you and then big cass is like somebody just tossed old sardines in as a side dish

[Dark One]

Why did Samoa Joe get the jobber entrance?

To save us from DAMN iNATOR! complaining about his theme.

[KIRA]

Big Cass you are fighting outside of your weight class son

[Jordan]

And now this is one of those matches I'm nervous for Bryan.

[RP]

LOL I love how the announcer table was vacated before Cass even thought about throwing DB into it. So bad.

[Droford]

D bry's chest is lit up like a fire truck

[slik]

I am enjoying two-thirds of this match...

[owenbrown]

Conrad Thompson in a WWE commercial :eek:

[Savio]

"I'm going to talk about the things they don't want me to talk about.

"Cena was awesome"

[KIRA]

I'm Bruce Prichard and I'm going to talk about the things they don't want me to talk about
* precedes to talk but the most important thing in the company*

[Emperor Smeat]

Bryan starting to become Sheamus 2.0 with how easy he bruises and welts during matches now

[Dark One]

"I'm going to talk about the things they don't want me to talk about.

"Cena was awesome"

"Roman Reigns is great."

[KIRA]

Bryan has been a beast in this match

[RP]

OMG DB IS HULKING UP!!!

[RP]

Great finish!

[Dark One]

I love D-Bry, but Joe in the ladder match is the right choice.

[RP]

That is textbook " working a passed out due to submission. " finish. Very good!

[slik]

DBry was soooooo over in this match

[KIRA]

Yea joe

[Jordan]

Good match.

[Emperor Smeat]

Triple Threat match was really good

Probably the best for his well-being that Bryan didn't win

... And the show ends with the wet fart known as Cass getting the final moment

[Dark One]

Big Cass is what happens when Kevin Nash has sex with a rat.

Not like a ring rat.

An actual rat.

[KIRA]

If you took big Cass out of that matchup would you honestly have lost anything besides another way to break up pins
I think the answer is no

[Jordan]

I hope Chrisley is going to be the guest host at MITB.

[rez]

Greyson should be in his 20s by now

[KIRA]

I can't wait till somebody figures out that they have Drew McIntyre and they no longer need big cass

[rez]

these kids don't age. hail chrisley

[Dark One]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Sure, laugh now... but then realize that <a href="https://twitter.com/mikethemiz?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@mikethemiz</a>'s deflection rate on those pancakes is astonishingly high. <a href="https://t.co/cidriKXwNn">pic.twitter.com/cidriKXwNn</a></p>&mdash; TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) <a href="https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/1001626622792011776?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 30, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[Dark One]

Murphy vs Alexander starting at 10:25? Oh shit. They may be getting a metric ton of time.

[owenbrown]

I hope Chrisley is going to be the guest host at MITB.

only if it leads to a "PAY YOUR TAXES!" chant

[DAMN iNATOR]

To save us from DAMN iNATOR! complaining about his theme.

You act like you've actually heard good porno music, which A.) That doesn't exist, and B.) Nobody watches it for the music anyway. Furthermore, terrible music ruins both products.

End rant.

[rez]

You act like you've actually heard good porno music, which A.) That doesn't exist, and B.) Nobody watches it for the music anyway. Furthermore, terrible music ruins both products.

End rant.

Always skip ahead to get out of the music. There was this original 80's tape I stole from the parents that was, "Sexbusters". That. that was something.

[rez]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXzzNr5gVyU

ya that trailer exists. 80's bliss.

[Dark One]

Alexander vs Murphy was pretty good.

Wish there was a little more to it than the usual "I want your title" "Nah man, it's mine" kind of stuff, but they put on a good 20+ minutes. If they gave them time to do that to open a PPV main card, might get some more eyes on 205.

[xrodmuc316]

I love D-Bry, but Joe in the ladder match is the right choice.

Agree, Joe is the right choice here. I am kind of sad that Bryan is still stuck in a feud with Big Trash, but I think Joe should be the guy that wins the briefcase.

Nobody as dangerous as Joe has ever held it, with maybe an argument for Kane, but he cashed it in on the same night he won it, so we didn't get to see that play out.

I could see Joe winning it, going out and just destroying the champion multiple times without even cashing in, just to show he is so badassed that he could take the title whenever he feels like it, but enjoys beating the guy up a few times first just cause he can.

[Mr. Nerfect]

I was hoping Big Cass was done. :(

[DAMN iNATOR]

Always skip ahead to get out of the music. There was this original 80's tape I stole from the parents that was, "Sexbusters". That. that was something.

Let's just say I've seen some REALLY old stuff that's nothing but bad music completely dubbed over the sounds of the performers. It makes it all but unwatchable.

[Tom Guycott]

So what happens if Joe refused to give the MitB case back?

Kurt Angle comes down the ramp in wrestling gear and headbutts him.

[Tom Guycott]

You forgot slap a Edge lookalike face on him

That is an insult to Montgomery Q. Edgenstein.

Doesn't make it any less true. You know damn well if they were both around at the same time, this would be an instance where Vince relaxed his inconsistent "unrelated brother teams are stupid" rule and kayfabed them into siblings.

[Tom Guycott]

Big Cass is good for NOTHING. What is wrong with him? He hit Bryan in the head with the MONEY IN THE BANK BRIEFCASE. A briefcase can be VERY DANGEROUS TO A PERSON WITH A HISTORY OF BRAIN DAMAGE. I hope Big Cass get tossed out of the match and out of WWE!

Quick, someone get Jack Tunney on this!

[Tom Guycott]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Sure, laugh now... but then realize that <a href="https://twitter.com/mikethemiz?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@mikethemiz</a>'s deflection rate on those pancakes is astonishingly high. <a href="https://t.co/cidriKXwNn">pic.twitter.com/cidriKXwNn</a></p>&mdash; TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) <a href="https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/1001626622792011776?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 30, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

His frustrations with E.Honda caused him to literally master the Hundred Hand Slap.