Ealy Memorial Raw Live Thread 6/4/18

[KIRA]

All of you stop staring at Jinder Mahal's chest those are shaving bumps not roid acne

[RP]

I"M DER BUG DERGGGGGGGGGGG DIS MER YERDDDDDDDDDDD

[rez]

Go Jinder!

[Emperor Smeat]

WWE managed to find something worse than the Sami-Lashley segment with this Jinder-Reigns promo war.

[KIRA]

Someone on this announce team used a little too much Soul Glow.

I know right. I look back Corey Graves.

[Dark One]

This segment worked much better when it was Samoa Joe and not Samoan Joe.

[Savio]

What has Roman done lately?

[KIRA]

WWE managed to find something worse than the Sami-Lashley segment with this Jinder-Reigns promo war.

*pours bottle of Ambien into hand*

[Dark One]

https://i.imgur.com/gTkMHy3.png

[slik]

six-woman tag lol

[Savio]

What's the main event? I'm tired

[slik]

What has Roman done lately?

Lose and Boos

[Anybody Thrilla]

*pours bottle of Ambien into hand*

Are you trying to blame your upcoming racism on something?

[Anybody Thrilla]

What's the main event? I'm tired

Finn Balor v. Kevin Owens

[Savio]

Oh, I can catch that on YouTube.

Good night

[KIRA]

Are you trying to blame your upcoming racism on something?

Let's be clear I'm judging Roman and Mahal on the content of their wrestling which blows( this fued sucking will be purely Romans fault) not the color of their skin which just happens to be Brown

[Anybody Thrilla]

Why do I kinda love The Riott Squad?

[xrodmuc316]

Sami Zayn is the best

[slik]

Ruby is a star in the making

Same for Ember

[KIRA]

A lot of terribly sold knee injuries going around in the women's division

[Dark One]

Rusev and Lana should have all of the commercials.

[xrodmuc316]

@Smeat

Baron Corbin also began a feud with Curt Hawkins

I think more accurate to say he began a fued with Kurt Angle, and by proxy, a returning Jason Jordan.

[slik]

Meanwhile at the SD houseshow Asuka splitting wigs


<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">SOME BODY GON GET THEY HEAD KICKED<br>SOME BODY GON GET THEY WIG SPLIT <a href="https://t.co/k06WVEMhs0">pic.twitter.com/k06WVEMhs0</a></p>&mdash; Sean Ross Sapp of Fightful.com (@SeanRossSapp) <a href="https://twitter.com/SeanRossSapp/status/1003820089148428288?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[Emperor Smeat]

Meanwhile at the SD houseshow Asuka splitting wigs


<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">SOME BODY GON GET THEY HEAD KICKED<br>SOME BODY GON GET THEY WIG SPLIT <a href="https://t.co/k06WVEMhs0">pic.twitter.com/k06WVEMhs0</a></p>&mdash; Sean Ross Sapp of Fightful.com (@SeanRossSapp) <a href="https://twitter.com/SeanRossSapp/status/1003820089148428288?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2018</a></blockquote>
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Lana wearing a wig or really long hair extensions does explain how her hair got suddenly a lot bigger recently.

[Dark One]

WWE Faces continue to be the HEELS.

[Dark One]

And Sasha and Bayley are inexplicably friends again.

[Emperor Smeat]

:| Bayley won a match she wasn't even involved in.

How the hell does that even make sense to begin with.

Missed opportunity to start the Switchblade Bayley heel turn.

[KIRA]

Wow suddenly Bailey matters I do like her stealing this thing though

My dream of a slimy heel Bailey is clinging to life

[Dark One]

Baron Corbin being the voice of reason.

This is somehow more bewildering than anything else that has happened in 2018.

[rez]

Is Bore'n only working out his right bicep or is that weird camera magic?

[KIRA]

Constable Corbin I take back what I said earlier I think a baboon wrote this show with his penis

[Anybody Thrilla]

Bayley's abs are super nice.

[Anybody Thrilla]

FUCKKKKKKKKKKK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: Kurt throwing his ref under the bus by reversing the women's tag decision.

[KIRA]

WHO TALKS LIKE THIS?
Are the WWE writers sea creatures who take the form of humans and come the land every so often but not enough to know how talking and conversations work

[Dark One]

Big Show gonna turn heel by chokeslamming the shit out of all of thes ekids.

[KIRA]

Big Show gonna turn heel by chokeslamming the shit out of all of thes ekids.

It's the Big Show so I don't even think people will care

[Dark One]

WHO TALKS LIKE THIS?
Are the WWE writers sea creatures who take the form of humans and come the land every so often but not enough to know how talking and conversations work

All WWE promos are outsourced and written in Hindi and then Google Translated back to English.

[KIRA]

ABT remember that offensive thing you asked me about blaming Ambien for well I do have a question right now.

The Special Olympics is being in shape not a requirement I'm not making fun I'm just asking.

[Dark One]

ABT remember that expensive thing you asked me about blaming Ambien for well I do have a question right now

The Special Olympics is being in shape not a requirement I'm not making fun I'm just asking

Oh boy

[Emperor Smeat]

Special Olympics peeps throwing up the Two Sweet/Wolfpak sign to Balor was pretty cool.

[Anybody Thrilla]

ABT remember that offensive thing you asked me about blaming Ambien for well I do have a question right now.

The Special Olympics is being in shape not a requirement I'm not making fun I'm just asking.

I'm too highly functioning to know the intricate ins and outs of the special olympics. Maybe try DAMN iNATOR.

[slik]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">.<a href="https://twitter.com/FinnBalor?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@FinnBalor</a>: For everyone, for good. <a href="https://t.co/Y0aoKtpI0m">pic.twitter.com/Y0aoKtpI0m</a></p>&mdash; TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) <a href="https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/1003828983425896448?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2018</a></blockquote>
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[Anybody Thrilla]

The Balor Club is going to have as many members at the nWo at this rate.

[Dark One]

Kurt Angle such a horrible GM.

Two people have unknown knee injuries, fuck it, put them in a fatal 4 way next week.

[Dark One]

Oh no.

Rousey and Nia face to face.

No

[KIRA]

Ok the kids doing Balors pose was really fucking cool.

[Anybody Thrilla]

These matches were good in NXT. Maybe this will be too.

[slik]

I predict this match ends in a brawl between MITB competitors

[KIRA]

Show closing with Indy darlings and not Booman

But they still have time to f*** this up so I'm not celebrating yet

[slik]

How lazy of writing is it when you have two 'knee injuries' for the women in one show, an hour apart???

[Emperor Smeat]

Oh no.

Rousey and Nia face to face.

No

Almost no confidence their match at MitB is going to be anything but a trainwreck. Anything outside of Goldberg-Lesnar shortness will result in a bust for the match.

[Dark One]

How lazy of writing is it when you have two 'knee injuries' for the women in one show, an hour apart???

This is becoming more and more of a thing.

They come up with some idea or angle or finish and then copy and paste it throughout the show. Seen this happen with roll-up finishes/distraction finishes/DQs/triple threats/whatever almost every week now.

[KIRA]

going to have to be some Hogan Warrior level booking and make this come out right

[rez]

Ahh...being more entertained by my yard trash panda. Damn cats keep being Nia Jax. Got him down and on his way.

[Sepholio]

Wuz guin 2 powsd like our ago butt wuz 2 dane bramajed frum lash lee promow. Feeleink betr nao.

[slik]

Every time Michael Cole calls Baron Corbin "The Constable" I cringe

[Emperor Smeat]

The more Cole and Graves mention "Constable" Corbin, the dumber it sounds each time.

Would have made more sense to debut it in the UK but Creative rarely uses logic for their shows.

[slik]

Stop. Saying. Constable.

[rez]

Stop. Saying. Constable.

https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.264091504.7298/flat,800x800,075,t.u1.jpg

[KIRA]

Hearing Constable Corbin it just makes me want another drink

[slik]

STFU ABOUT CONSTABLE CORBIN COLE

[Emperor Smeat]

Apparently Kevin Owens has a fear of heights now.

Time to scratch Balor's name off the MitB winners list since he grabbed the case tonight.

[KIRA]

Wait so who all has taken down the briefcase so we know they're not winning it Finn Balor Samoa Joe

[Dark One]

Coup De Grace off the ladder?

Oof.

[KIRA]

Apparently Kevin Owens has a fear of heights now.

Time to scratch Balor's name off the MitB winners list since he grabbed the case tonight.

Owens is just scared of Drew Gulak

[rez]

Apparently Kevin Owens has a fear of heights now.

Time to scratch Balor's name off the MitB winners list since he grabbed the case tonight.

I think he had a fear during the cage match against Shane.

[Dark One]

That was a very bumpy show, and now I'm all out of historical shitposts.

At least we have Okada / Omega 5/6/7 this weekend.

[Droford]

watching RAW and suddenly realized theres a Wok With Elias joke to be made

[rez]

It wasn't a horrible showing compared to the usual RAW shows.

[Anybody Thrilla]

That was a difficult watch.

[Emperor Smeat]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Everything about <a href="https://twitter.com/fightbobby?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@fightbobby</a> is a lie.<br>Turns out it's just <a href="https://twitter.com/StephMcMahon?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@StephMcMahon</a> undercover<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RAW?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RAW</a></p>&mdash; WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) <a href="https://twitter.com/WWECreative_ish/status/1003819115499413504?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>


<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">16 out of 19 times a cash-in was successful. The three failures are now a part-time movie star, a constable and a guy basically erased from existence <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RAW?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RAW</a></p>&mdash; WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) <a href="https://twitter.com/WWECreative_ish/status/1003830277964214274?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2018</a></blockquote>
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[rez]

Get some sleep. Prepare yourselves for the A show + CKB

[Lock Jaw]

Hi.

Started watching RAW over 2 hours late, and caught up to the main event via fast-forwarding most of the show.

[Dark One]

Can't wait for the payoff to Constable Corbin to be that HE was really Vince McMahon's bastard son, not Hornswoggle.

[Jordan]

I missed Raw tonight, should I try and watch it?

[Jordan]

What the fuck is this Constable Corbin shit? Seriously I have no idea what is going on. Please tell me.

[slik]

Stephanie McMahon named Baron Corbin "Constable of RAW" and then Michael Cole said the word Constable 9,999,999 times during the show.

[Dark One]

Hey guys

I found Constable Corbin's new merch

https://i.imgur.com/PVNs8Jc.jpg

[Anybody Thrilla]

What the fuck is this Constable Corbin shit? Seriously I have no idea what is going on. Please tell me.

Concerned with Kurt Angle's general management style, Baron Corbin went over his head and got into contact with Stephanie McMahon about his concerns. Stephanie agreed with Corbin's angle, and in an attempt to cultivate a more sturdy checks and balances system, she officially appointed Baron Corbin to be the Constable of Raw, working alongside Kurt in effort to make things more fair across the board, and to essentially be her eyes and ears when she isn't around.

The collective community of WWE fans were heard round the world as they simultaneously vomited into a nearby trashcan near them.

[Emperor Smeat]

Hey guys

I found Constable Corbin's new merch

https://i.imgur.com/PVNs8Jc.jpg

Knowing WWE, that's going to be his actual shirt in about a week or two.

Still very nice of Sami to get his pal El Generico a job as the head of WWE's marketing design team.

[Dark One]

Knowing WWE, that's going to be his actual shirt in about a week or two.

Still very nice of Sami to get his pal El Generico a job as the head of WWE's marketing design team.

I am going to demand 50 cents a shirt.

I will make 6 dollars, but god damnit, that's my design.

[Jordan]

Concerned with Kurt Angle's general management style, Baron Corbin went over his head and got into contact with Stephanie McMahon about his concerns. Stephanie agreed with Corbin's angle, and in an attempt to cultivate a more sturdy checks and balances system, she officially appointed Baron Corbin to be the Constable of Raw, working alongside Kurt in effort to make things more fair across the board, and to essentially be her eyes and ears when she isn't around.

The collective community of WWE fans were heard round the world as they simultaneously vomited into a nearby trashcan near them.

LMAO who in the hell thought of this. WWE does the dumbest angles ever this time of year. I'd be willing to be Katie Vick was around May/June... The fucking Union, The Goddamn Higher Power, McMahon's death/son... Good lord. Constable Corbin. LOL

[Jordan]

I'll watch the hour and a half version on Hulu tomorrow.

[Jordan]

If this Constable Corbin gimmick comes with a hair cut or a membership to Bosley Hair Club for Men then I'm game for it.

[xrodmuc316]

Kurt Angle such a horrible GM.

Two people have unknown knee injuries, fuck it, put them in a fatal 4 way next week.

Superstar shakeup:
1. Trade for U.S. Champion
2. Make him defend title in an open challenge
3. Guy I already traded to Smackdown comes out and wins
4. U.S. Title back to Smackdown
5. "I'm a good GM"

[Lock Jaw]

Silly me, I thought after the Corbin/Hawkins thing that it was actually going to lead to an angle between the two, with a face turn for Hawkins and a very slight push.

He could have shown up next week and called out Corbin and asked him what his deal was. Corbin comes out and does his usual smug asshole "I just like to ruin things" gimmick. Hawkins challenges him to a match.

Now that he has 200 losses in a row, his first win would have come vs. Corbin in a "fluke roll-up" victory. Corbin doing his usual "known for squandering his opportunities" bit.

Hawkins could then maybe have joined the B-Team with them welcoming him, giving him a "fresh start" on the side of "winners".

Corbin could then go and feud with Roman Reigns for 6 months after Reigns' 6 month feud against Jinder ends.

[Dark One]

Silly me, I thought after the Corbin/Hawkins thing that it was actually going to lead to an angle between the two, with a face turn for Hawkins and a very slight push.

He could have shown up next week and called out Corbin and asked him what his deal was. Corbin comes out and does his usual smug asshole "I just like to ruin things" gimmick. Hawkins challenges him to a match.

Now that he has 200 losses in a row, his first win would have come vs. Corbin in a "fluke roll-up" victory. Corbin doing his usual "known for squandering his opportunities" bit.

Hawkins could then maybe have joined the B-Team with them welcoming him, giving him a "fresh start" on the side of "winners".

Corbin could then go and feud with Roman Reigns for 6 months after Reigns' 6 month feud against Jinder ends.

Okay. I see what you're saying. I'm picking up what you're putting down.

But see

here's where you went wrong...

You booked more than 30 minutes into the future. What do you think this is? Game of Thrones? We can't plan that far ahead.

[Lock Jaw]

I'm sorry. I apologize.

[Emperor Smeat]

If this Constable Corbin gimmick comes with a hair cut or a membership to Bosley Hair Club for Men then I'm game for it.

Should go all in with the gimmick by wearing a bobby hat and carry around a club to whack people who violate the RAW Rules book. Maybe even develop a British accent over time and refer to Steph as "mum" or the queen of RAW.

[Simple Fan]

Don't usually comment on Raw but damn they have completely fucked up with Ronda/Jax. Nia should have just beat the hell out of Natayla while taunting Ronda with her limp body, not even trying to win the match. They made it look like Nia couldn't beat Natayla without the injury and then Ronda is mad at Nia because Natayla has weak knees. Everyone came out of that look weak in some way.

[BigCrippyZ]

Don't usually comment on Raw but damn they have completely fucked up with Ronda/Jax. Nia should have just beat the hell out of Natayla while taunting Ronda with her limp body, not even trying to win the match. They made it look like Nia couldn't beat Natayla without the injury and then Ronda is mad at Nia because Natayla has weak knees. Everyone came out of that look weak in some way.

Not surprising. Heels can't look too good. Faces can't look too good. This means Vince won't have to worry about anyone becoming more popular or bigger than the WWE, and leaving him for actual better opportunities outside of WWE.

[Evil Vito]

Sounds like it was another riveting show well worth a three hour time investment.

[Cool King]

• I think I may like Otunga being and the announce table more than I do Coach.

Also, if what Graves said is true and that Coach actually does get every third week off to report on golf, then what's the point of him even being with the WWE?

Just give the spot to Otunga full time.

• I was actually quite excited to see Curt Hawkins face a jobber, as I thought that this could be the beginning of something for Hawkins as it was his 200th match since he last won one.

A part of me however thought that he could lose, as it was against a jobber in a milestone match.

As soon as Corbin came out, I knew what he was going to do and I thought "OK, I'll take this. This could lead to a Hawkins face turn and a feud with Corbin", but as soon as Crobin announced he was "Constable of Raw", I thought "Nah, that feud ain't happening".

Speaking of Corbin being "Constable of Raw", I can't help but feel that this is just "Sheriff Austin 2K18", the only difference is that the Heel/Face roles are reversed.

Bischoff (Heel GM)/Austin (Face secondary authoritative figure)
Angle (Face GM/Corbin (Heel secondary authoritative figure)

This also makes Corbin the second heel tough guy that ran to Stephanie when he didn't get what he wants. I'm sure next week either The Revival or Drew McIntyre will go running to Stephanie because they didn't like what happened in their Battle Royal Match.

• After her match at WrestleMania, I was actually beginning to get interested in Ronda Rousey and the same when Nia Jax was chasing the Women's Championship.

Now, I have no interest in any of them or the Women's Division as a whole.

Just like the build up to her match at WrestleMania, this build up to the Women's Championship match blows big time. As for Nia Jax, what's going on with her? She's a face one week, then a heel the next week and this week, she was acting like a face with her constant smiling to the ring and being concerned about Natalya.

• Two men with thick beards have a match that's presented by a shaving brand.

• I discovered during the Battle Royal Match that I actually have -100% interest in Ziggler or McIntyre.

That actually would have been unthinkable around eight or so years ago, so well done Vince & Co. for that.

[Cool King]

B Team's theme doesn't fit their vibe.

I know what you mean.

I think that their theme could be CFO$'s attempt at a "generic/jobber theme".

[slik]

I also prefer Otunga to Coach

[xrodmuc316]

Coach said he covers golf 4 times a year, but they are in rapid fashion, and the other 48 weeks he will be there.

Otunga sounds good, but he is WAY too pro babyface for my liking. At least Coach and Booker T can call it both ways, which is why despite the random ramblings I prefer both of them to Otunga.

[Cool King]

If you think Otunga is "WAY too pro babyface", then I'm curious as to what you think about Saxton.

[xrodmuc316]

If you think Otunga is "WAY too pro babyface", then I'm curious as to what you think about Saxton.

Lol, the exact same thing, although at least with Saxton he has that goofy nerd gimmick going for him. Otunga is just a smart lawyer, which means its even odder he cant defend the actions of the heels.

[James Steele]

None of the Constable Corbin stuff made the Hulu version of Raw.

[slik]

Ha!